 CHAPTER III. THE BUSHERS' HONEY MOON CHICAGO ELIONOI. OCTOBER 17. FRIEND AL. Well, Al, it looks as if I would not be writing so much to you, now that I am a married man. Yes, Al, I and Flory was married the day before yesterday, just like I told you we was going to be. And, Al, I am the happiest man in the world, though I have spent thirty dollars in the last three days inclusive. You was wise, Al, to get married in Bedford, where not nothing is nearly half so dear. My expenses was as follows. Prices $2. Priest $3.50. Haircut and shave $0.35. Shine $0.05. Car fare $0.45. New suit $0.1450. Show tickets $3. Flowers $0.50. Candy $0.30. Hotel $0.450. Tobacco $0.25. You see, Al, it costs a whole lot of money to get married here. The sum of what I have wrote down is $29.40, but as I told you, I have spent $30, and I do not know what I have did with that other $0.60. My new brother-in-law, Alan, told me I should ought to have give the priest $5, and I thought it should be about $2, the same as the license, so I split the difference and give him $3.50. I never seen him before, and probably won't never see him again, so why should I give him anything at all when it is his business to marry couples? But I like to do the right thing. You know me, Al. I thought we would be in Bedford by this time, but Flory wants to stay here a few more days because she wants to be with her sister. Alan and his wife is thinking about taking a flat for the winter instead of going down to Waco, Texas, where they live. I don't see no sense in that when it costs so much to live here, but it is none of my business if they want to throw their money away. But I am glad I got a wife with some sense, though she kicked because I did not get no room with the bath, which would have cost me $2 a day instead of $1.50. I say I guess the clubhouse is still open yet, and if I want a bath I can go over there and take the shower. She says, yes, and I suppose I can go and jump in the lake. But she would not do that, Al, because the lake here is cold at this time of the year. When I told you about my expenses, I did not include in it the meals because we would be eating them if I was getting married or not getting married. Only I have to pay for six meals a day now instead of three, and I didn't used to eat no lunch in the playing season, except once in a while when I know that I was not going to work that afternoon. I had a meal ticket which had not quite ran out over to a restaurant on Indiana Avenue, and we ate there for the first day except at night when I took Alan and his wife to the show with us, and then he took us to a chop suey restaurant. I guess you have not never had no chop suey, Al, and I am here to tell you you have not missed nothing. But when Alan was going to buy the supper, what could I say? I could not say nothing. Well yesterday and today we've been eating at a restaurant on Cottage Grove Avenue near the hotel and at a restaurant on Indiana that I had the meal ticket at, only I do not like to buy no new meal ticket when I am not going to be around here no more than a few days. Well, Al, I guess the meals has cost me all together about a dollar fifty, and I have eaten very little myself. Flory always wants dessert, ice cream or something, and that runs up into money faster than regular stuff like steak and ham and eggs. Well, Al, Flory says it is time for me to keep my promise and take her to the moving pictures, which is twenty cents more, because the one she likes around here costs a dime apiece, so I must close for this time, and we'll see you soon. Your pal, Jack. Chicago, Illinois, October 22. Al. Just a note to tell you why I have not yet come to Bedford yet, or I expected I would be long before this time. Alan and his wife have took a furnished flat for the winter, and Alan's wife wants Flory to stay here until they get settled. Meantime, it is costing me a whole lot of money at the hotel and for meals, besides I am paying ten dollars a month rent for the house you got from me, and what good am I getting out of it? But Flory wants to help her sister, and what can I say? Though I did make her promise she would not stay no longer the next Saturday at least. So I guess, Al, we will be home on the evening train Saturday, and then maybe I can save some money. I know, Al, that you and Bertha will like Flory when you get acquainted with her, especially Bertha, though Flory dresses pretty swell and spends a whole lot of time fussing with her face and her hair. She says to me tonight, Who are you writing to? And I told her Al Blanche, and who I have told you about a good many times. She says, I bet you are writing to some girl, and acted like as though she was kind of jealous. So I thought I would tease her a little and say, I don't know no girls except you and Violet and Hazel. Who is Violet and Hazel? She says, I kind of laughed and says, Oh, I guess I better not tell you. And then she says, I guess you will tell me. That made me kind of mad because no girl can't tell me what to do. She says, Are you going to tell me? And I says, No. Then she says, If you don't tell me, I will go over to Marie's, that is her sister, Allen's wife, and stay all night. I says, Go on. And she went downstairs, but I guess she probably went to get a soda because she has some money of her own that I give her. This was about two hours ago, and she is probably down in the hotel lobby now, trying to scare me by making me believe she has went to her sister's. But she can't fool me Al, and I am going out to mail this letter and get a beer. I won't never tell her about Violet and Hazel if she is going to act like that. Yours truly, Jack. Chicago, Illinois, October 24. Friend, Al. I guess I told you, Al, that we would be home Saturday evening. I have changed my mind. Allen and his wife has a spare bedroom and wants us to come there and stay a week or two. It won't cost nothing, except they will probably want to go out to the moving pictures nights, and we will probably have to go along with them. And I am a man, Al, that wants to pay his share and not be cheap. I and Flory had our first quarrel the other night. I guess I told you the start of it, but I don't remember. I made some crack about Violet and Hazel, just a tease, Flory, and she wanted to know who they was, and I would not tell her. So she gets sore and goes over to Marie's to stay all night. I was just kidding, Al, and was willing to tell her about them two poor girls, whatever she wanted to know, except that I don't like to brag about girls being stuck on me. So I goes over to Marie's after her and tell her all about them, except that I turned them down cold at the last minute to marry her, because I did not want her to get all swelled up. She made me swear that I did not never care nothing about them, and that was easy because it was the truth. So she come back to the hotel with me, just like I know she would when I ordered her to. They must not be no mistake about who is the boss in my house. Some men lets their wife run all over them, but I am not that kind. You know me, Al. I must get busy and pack my suitcase if I am going to move over to Allen's. I sent three collars and a shirt to the laundry this morning, so even if we go over there tonight, I will have to take another trip back this way in a day or two. I won't mind, Al, because they sell my kind of beer down to the corner, and I never seen it sold nowhere else in shy. You know the kind it is, eh, Al? I wish I was lifting a few with you tonight. Your pal, Jack. Chicago, Illinois, October 28th. Dear old Al. Flory and Marie has went downtown shopping because Flory thinks she has got to have a new dress, though she has got two changes of clothes now, and I don't know what she can do with another one. I hope she don't find none to suit her, though it would not hurt her none if she got something for next spring in a reduction. I guess she must think I am Charles A. Kamiski or somebody. Alan has went to a college football game. One of the reporters give him a pass. I don't see nothing in football, except a lot of scrapping between little slobs that I could lick the whole bunch of them, so I did not care to go. The reporter is one of the guys that traveled round with our club all summer. He called up and said he had only one pass, but he was not hurting my feelings none, because I would not go to no rotten football game if they paid me. The flat across the hall from this here one is for rent furnished. They want forty dollars a month for it, and I guess they think they must be lots of suckers running round loose. Marie was talking about it and says, why don't you and Flory take it, and then we can be right together all winter long and have some big times. Flory says, it would be all right with me. What about it, Jack? I says, what do you think I am? I don't have to live in no high-priced flat when I got a home in Bedford where they ain't no people trying to hold everybody up all the time, so they did not say no more about it when they seen I was in earnest. Nobody can tell me where I am going to live, sister-in-law, or no sister-in-law. If I was to rent the rotten old flat, I would be paying fifty dollars a month rent, including the house down in Bedford. Fine chance, Al. Well, Al, I am lonesome and thirsty, so more later. Your pal, Jack. Chicago, Illinois, November 2. Friend, Al. Well, Al, I got some big news for you. I am not coming to Bedford this winter, after all, except to make a visit, which I guess will be around Christmas. I changed my mind about that flat across the hall from the Allens and decided to take it after all. The people who was in it and owns the furniture says they would let us have it till the first of May if we would pay forty-two fifty a month, which is only two fifty a month more than they would have let us have it for a short time. So, you see, we got a bargain because it is all furnished and everything, and we won't have to blow no money on furniture besides the club goes to California the middle of February, so Flory would have no place to stay while I am away. The Allens only sublease their flat from some other people till the second of February, and when I and Allen goes west, Marie can come over and stay with Flory, so you see it is best all around. If we should have bought in furniture, it would have cost us in the neighborhood of a hundred dollars, even without no piano, and there is a piano in this house flat, which makes it nice, because Flory plays pretty good with one hand, and we can have lots of good times at home without it costing us nothing, except just having to bear living expenses. I consider myself lucky to have found out about this before it was too late, and somebody else had have gotten the tip. Now, Al, old pal, I want to ask a great favor of you, Al. I already have paid one month rent, ten dollars, on a house in Bedford, and I want you to see the old man and see if he won't call off that lease. Why should I be paying ten dollars a month rent down there, and forty two fifty up here, when the house down there is not no good to me, because I am living up here all winter? See, Al? Tell him I will gladly give him another month rent to call off the lease, but don't tell him that if you don't have to. I want to be fair with him. If you will do this favor for me, Al, I won't never forget it. Give my kindness to Bertha and tell her I am sorry I and Flory won't see her right away, but you see how it is, Al. Yours, Jack. Chicago, Illinois, November 30. Friend, Al, I have not wrote for a long time, have I, Al, but I have been very busy. There was not enough furniture in the flat, and we have been buying some more. There was enough for some people, maybe, but I and Flory is the kind that won't have nothing but the best. The furniture them people had in the living room was oak, but they had a bookcase built in in the flat that was mahogany, and Flory would not stand for no joke combination like that, so she moved the oak chairs and table into the spare bedroom, and we went downtown to buy some mahogany, but it cost too much, Al, and we was feeling pretty bad about it when we seen some sir-cashined walnut that was prettier even than the mahogany and not near so expensive. It is not no real sir-cashined walnut, but it is just as good, and we got it reasonable. Then we got submission chairs for the dining room because the old ones was just straw and was no good, and we got a big leather couch for $9 that somebody can sleep on if we get too much company. I hope you and Bertha can come up for the holidays and see how comfortable we are fixed. That is all the new furniture we have bought, but Flory set her heart on some old rose drapes and a red table lamp that is the biggest you ever see now, and I did not have the heart to say no. The whole thing cost me in the neighborhood of $110, which is very little for what we got. And then it will always be ironed, even when we move away from this flat, though we will have to leave the furniture that belongs to the other people, but their part of it is not no good anyway. I guess I told you Al how much money I had when the season ended. It was $1,400 all told, including the city serious money. Well Al, I got in the neighborhood of $800 left because I give $200 to Flory to send down to Texas to her other sister who had a bad egg for a husband that managed the club in the Texas Oklahoma League and this was the money she had to pay to get the divorce. I am glad Al that I was lucky enough to marry Happy and get a good girl for my wife that has got some sense and besides if I have got $800 left I should not worry as they say. Your pal, Jack. Chicago, Illinois, December 7th. Dear old Al. No, I was in earnest Al when I says that I wanted you and Bertha to come up here for the holidays. I know I told you that I might come to Bedford for the holidays but that is all off. I have gave up the idea of coming to Bedford for the holidays and I want you to be sure and come up here for the holidays and I will show you a good time. I would love to have Bertha come too and she can come if she wants to only Flory don't know if she would have a good time or not and thinks maybe she would rather stay in Bedford and you come alone. But be sure and have Bertha come if she wants to come but maybe she would not enjoy it. You know best Al. I don't think the old man give me no square deal on that lease but if he wants to stick me all right. I am grateful to you Al for trying to fix it up but maybe you could have did better if you would have went at it in a different way. I am not finding no fault with my old pal though. Don't think that. When I have a pal I am the man to stick to him through thick and thin. If the old man is going to hold me to that lease I guess I will have to stand it and I guess I won't starve to death for no ten dollars a month because I am going to get twenty eight hundred dollars next year besides the city serious money and maybe we will get into the world serious too. I know we will if Callahan will pitch me every third day like I wanted him to last season but if you would approach the old man in a different way maybe you could have fixed it up. I wish you would try it again Al if it is not no trouble. We had Alan and his wife here for Thanksgiving dinner and the dinner cost me better than five dollars. I thought we had enough to eat to last a week but about six o'clock at night Flory and Marie said they was hungry and we went downtown and had dinner all over again and I paid for it and it cost me five dollars more. Alan was already to pay for it when Flory said no this day's treat is on us so I had to pay for it but I don't see why she did not wait and let me do the talking. I was going to pay for it anyway. Be sure and come and visit us for the holidays Al and of course if Bertha wants to come bring her along. We will be glad to see you both. I won't never go back on a friend and pal. You know me Al your pal Jack. Chicago Illinois December 20th friend Al. I don't see what can be the matter with Bertha because you know Al we would not care how she dressed and would not make no kick if she came up here in a nightgown. She did not have no license to say we was too swell for her because we did not never think of nothing like that. I wish you would talk to her again Al and tell her she need not get sore on me and that both her and you is welcome at my house any time I ask you to come. See if you can't make her change your mind Al because I feel like as if she must have took offense at something I may have wrote you. I am sorry you and her are not coming but I suppose you know best only we was getting all ready for you and Florey said only the other day that she wished the holidays was over but that was before she'd know you was not coming. I hope you can come Al. Well Al I guess there is not no use talking to the old man no more. You have did the best you could but I wish I could have came down there and talked to him. I will pay his rotten old ten dollars a month and the next time I come to Bedford and meet him on the street I will bust his jaw. I know he is an old man Al but I don't like to see nobody get the best of me and I am sorry I ever asked him to let me off. Some of them old skin flints has no heart Al but why should I fight with the old man over chicken feed like ten dollars. Florey says a star picture like I should not ought to never scrap about little things and I guess she is right Al so I will pay the old man his ten dollars a month if I have to. Florey says she is jealous of me writing to you so much and she says she would like to meet this great old pal of mine. I would like to have her meet you too Al and I would like to have you change your mind and come and visit us and I am sorry you can't come Al. Yours truly Jack. Chicago Illinois December 27th old pal I guess all these left handers is alike though I thought this Alan had some sense. I thought he was different from the most and was not no rummy but they are all alike Al and they are all lucky that somebody don't hit them over the head with an axe and kill them but I guess at that you could not hurt no left handers by hitting them over the head. We was all down on State Street the day before Christmas and the girls was all tired out and ready to go home but Alan says no I guess we better stick down a while because now the crowds is out and it will be fun to watch them. So we all walked up and down State Street about an hour longer and finally we came in front of a big jewelry store window and then it was a small diamond ring that was marked $100. It was a ladies ring so Marie says to Alan won't you buy that for me and Alan says do you really want it? and she says she did so we tells the girls to wait and we goes over to a saloon where Alan has got a friend and gets a check cashed and we come back and he bought the ring. Then Florie looks like as though she was getting all ready to cry and I asked her what was the matter and she says I had not bought in her no ring not even when we was engaged so I and Alan goes back to the saloon and I gets a check cashed and we come back and bought another ring but I did not think the ring Alan had bought and was worth no $100 so I gets one for $75. Now Al you know I am not making no kick on spending little money for a present for my own wife but I had already bought in her a wrist watch for $15 and a wrist watch was just what she had wanted I was willing to give her the ring if she had not have wanted the wrist watch more than the ring but when I give her the ring I kept the wrist watch and did not tell her nothing about it well I come downtown alone the day after Christmas and they would not take the wrist watch back in the store where I got it so I am going to give it to her for a new year's present and I guess that will make Alan feel like a dirty deuce but I guess you cannot hurt no left handers feelings at that they are all alike but Alan has not got nothing but a dinky curve ball and a fast ball that looks like my slow one if Kamiski was not good hearted he would have sold them long ago I sent you and Bertha a cut glass dish out which was the best I could get for the money and it was pretty high price to that we was glad to get the pretty pin cushions from you and Bertha and Flory says to tell you that we are well supplied with pin cushions now because the ones you sent makes an even half dozen thanks Al for remembering us and thank Bertha too though I guess you paid for them your pal Jack Chicago Illinois January 3 old pal Al I've been pretty sick ever since New Year's Eve we had a table at one of the swell restaurants downtown and I never seen so much wine drank in my life I would rather have had beer but they would not sell us none so I found out that they was a certain kind that you can get for $1 a bottle and is just as good as the kind that has got all them fancy names but this left hander starts ordering some other kind about 11 o'clock and it was $5 a bottle and the girls both says they liked it better I could not see a whole lot of difference myself and I would have gave 20 cents for a big stein of my kind of beer you know me Al well Al you know they is not nobody that can drink more than your old pal and I was all okay at 1 o'clock but I seen the girls was getting kind of sleepy so I says we better go home then Marie says oh shut up and don't be no quitter I says you better shut yourself and not be telling me to shut up and she says what will you do if I don't shut up and I says I would bust her in the jaw but you know Al I would not think of busting no girl then Florey says you better not start nothing because you had too much to drink or you would not be talking about busting girls in the jaw and I says I don't care if it is a girl I bust or a left-handed I did not mean nothing at all Al but Marie says I had insulted Alan and he gets up and slaps my face well Al I am not going to stand dad from nobody not even if he is my brother-in-law and a left-hander that has not got enough speed to break a pane of glass so I give him a good beating and the waiter butts in and puts us all out for fighting and I and Florey comes home in a taxi and Alan and his wife don't get in till about five o'clock so I guess she must have had to have took him to a doctor to get fixed up I've been in bed ever since till just this morning kind of sick to my stomach I guess I must have eaten something that did not agree with me Alan come over after breakfast this morning and asked me was I all right so I guess he is not sore over the beating I give him or else he wants to make friends because he is sore that I am a bad guy to monkey with Florey tells me a little while ago that she paid the whole bill at the restaurant with my money because Alan was broke so you see what kind of a cheapskate he is Al and someday I'm going to bust his jaw she won't tell me how much the bill was and I won't ask her to no more because we had a good time outside of the fight and what do I care if we spent a little money yours truly jack Chicago Illinois January 20 Randall Alan and his wife have gave up the flat across the hall from us and come over to live with us because we got a spare bedroom and why should they not have the benefit of it but it is pretty hard for the girls to have to cook and do the work when they is four of us so I have a hired girl who does it all for $7 a week it is great stuff Al because now we can go around as we please and don't have to wait for no dishes to be washed or nothing we generally almost always has dinner downtown in the evening so it is pretty soft for the girl too she don't generally have no more than one meal to get because we generally round round downtown till late and don't get up till about noon that sounds funny don't it Al when I used to get up at five every morning down home well Al I can tell you something else that may sound funny and that is that I lost my taste for beer I don't seem to care for it no more and I found I can stand almost as many drinks of other stuff as I could have beer I guess Al that is not nobody ever lived can drink more and stand up better under it than me I make the girls and Alan quit every night I only got just time to write you this short note because Florian Marie is giving a big party tonight and I and Alan have got to beat it out of the house and stay out of the way till they get things ready it is Marie's birthday and she says she is 22 but say Al if she is 22 kid Gleason is 30 well Al the girls say we must blow so I will run out and mail this letter yours truly Jack Chicago Illinois January 31 Al Alan is going to take Marie with him on the training trip to California and of course Flor has been at me to take her along I told her positively that she can't go I can't afford no stunt like that but still I am up against it to know what to do with her while we are on the trip because Marie won't be here to stay with her I don't like to leave her here all alone but there is nothing to it Al I can't afford to take her along she says I don't see why you can't take me if Alan takes Marie and I says that stuff is all okay for Alan because him and Marie has been grafting off of us all winter and then she gets mad and tells me I should not want to say her sister was no grafter I did not mean nothing like that Al but you don't never know when a woman is going to take offense if our furniture was down in Bedford everything would be all okay because I could leave her there and I would feel all okay because I would know that you and Bertha would see that she was getting along okay but they would not be no sense in sending her down to a house that is not no furniture in it I wish I'd knowed somewheres where she could visit Al I would be willing to pay her board even well Al enough for this time your old pal Jack Chicago Illinois February 4 friend Al you are a real old pal Al and I certainly am grateful to you for the invitation I have not told Flory about it yet but I am sure she will be tickled to death and it is certainly kind of you old pal I did not never dream of nothing like that I know what you say Al about not accepting no board but I think it would be better and I would feel better if you would take something say about two dollars a week I know Bertha will like Flory and that they will get along okay together because Flory can learn her how to make her clothes look good and fix her hair and fix up her face I feel like as if you had took a big load off of me Al and I won't never forget it if you don't think I should pay no board for Flory all right suit yourself about that old pal we are leaving here the 20th of February and if you don't mind I will bring Flory down to you about the 18th I would like to see the old bunch again and especially you and Bertha yours Jack PS we will only be away till April 14th and that is just a nice visit I wish we did not have no flat on our hands Chicago Illinois February 9th old pal I want to thank you for asking Flory to come down there and visit you Al but I find she can't get away I did not know she had no engagements but she says she may go down to her folks in Texas and she don't want to say that she will come to visit you when it is so indefinite so thank you just the same Al and thank Bertha too Flory is still at me to take her along to California but honest Al I can't do it I am right down to my last $50 and I have not paid no rent for this month I owe the hired girl two weeks salary and both I and Flory need some new clothes Flory has just came in since I started writing this letter and we have been talking some more about California and she says maybe if I would ask Kamiski he would take her along as the club's guest I had not never thought of that Al and maybe he would because he is a pretty good scout and I guess I will go and see him about it the league has its schedule meeting here tomorrow and maybe I can see him down to the hotel where they meet at I am so worried Al that I can't write no more but I will tell you how I come out with Kamiski your pal Jack Chicago Illinois February 11 friend Al I am up against it right Al and I don't know where I am going to head in at I went down to the hotel where the league was holding its schedule meeting at and I seen Kamiski and got some money off of the club but I owe all the money I got off of them and I am still wondering what to do about Flory Kamiski was busy in the meeting when I went down there and there was not no chance to see him for a while so I and Alan and some of the boys hung around and had a few drinks and fan this here Joe Hill the busher that Detroit has got that violet is hooked up to was round the hotel I don't know what for but I felt like busting his jaw only the boys told me I had better not do nothing because I might kill him and anyway he probably won't be in the league much longer well finally Kamiski got through the meeting and I seen him and he says hello young man what can I do for you and I says I would like to get a hundred dollars advance money he says have you been taking care of yourself down in Bedford and I told him I had been living here all winter and it did not seem to make no hit with him though I don't see what business it is of his in where I live so I says I had been taking good care of myself and I have Al you know that so he says I should come to the ballpark the next day which is today and he would have the secretary take care of me but I says I could not wait and so he give me a hundred dollars out of his pocket and says he would have it charged against my salary I was just going to brace him about the California trip when he got away and went back to the meeting well Al I hung round with the bunch waiting for him to get through again and we had some more drinks and finally Kamiski was through again and I braced him in the lobby and asked him if it was all right to take my wife along to California he says sure they would be glad to have her along and then I says would the club pay her fair he says I guess you must have spent that hundred dollars buying some nerve he says have you got no sisters that would like to go along too he says does your wife insist on the drawing room or will she take a lower birth he says is my special train good enough for her then he turns away from me and I guess some of the boys must have heard the stuff he pulled because they was laughing when he went away but I did not see nothing to laugh at but I guess he meant that I would have to pay her fair if she goes along and that is out of the question Al I am up against it and I don't know where I am going to head in at your pal Jack Chicago Illinois February 12th dear old Al I guess everything will be all okay now at least I am hoping it will when I told Flory about how I come out with Kamiski she bolt her head off and I thought for a while I was going to have to call a doctor or something but pretty soon she cut it out and we sat there a while without saying nothing then she says if you could get your salary raised a couple hundred dollars a year would you borrow the money ahead somewhere and take me along to California I says yes I would if I could get a couple hundred dollars more salary but how could I do that when I had signed the contract for 2800 last fall already she says don't you think you are worth more than 2800 dollars and I says yes of course I was worth more than 2800 she says well if you will go and talk the right way to Kamiski I believe he will give you three thousand dollars but you must be sure you go out at the right way and don't go and bowl it all up well we argued about it a while because I don't want to hold nobody up Al but finally I says I would it would not be holding nobody up anyway because I am worth three thousand dollars to the club if I am worth a nickel the papers is all saying that the club has got a good chance to win the pennant this year and talking about the pitching staff and I guess they would not be no pitching staff much if it was not for I and one or two others about one other I guess so it looks like is if everything will be all okay now Al I am going to the office over to the park to see him the first thing in the morning and I am pretty sure that I will get what I am after because if I do not he will see that I am going to quit and then he will see what he is up against and not let me get away I will let you know how I come out your pal Jack Chicago Illinois February 14 friend Al Al old pal I have got a big surprise for you I am going to the Federal League I had a run in with Kamiski yesterday and I guess I told him a thing or two I guess he would have been glad to sign me at my own figure before I got through but I was so mad I would not give him no chance to offer me another contract I got out to the park at nine o'clock yesterday morning and it was an hour before he showed up and then he kept me waiting another hour so I was pretty sore when I finally went in to see him he says well young man what can I do for you I says I come to see about my contract he says do you want to sign up for next year already I says no I am talking about this year he says I thought I and you talked business last fall and I says yes but now I think I am worth more money and I want to sign a contract for three thousand dollars he says if you behave yourself and work good this year I will see that you are took care of but I says that won't do because I have got to be sure I am going to get three thousand dollars then he says I am not sure you're going to get anything I says what do you mean and he says I have gave you a very fair contract and if you don't want to live up to it that is your business so I gave him an awful call Al and told them I would jump to the Federal League he says oh I would not do that if I was you they are having a hard enough time as it is so I says something back to him and he did not say nothing to me and I beat it out of the office I have not told Flory about the Federal League business as I am going to give her a big surprise I bet they will take her along with me on the training trip and pay her fare but even if they don't I should not worry because I will make them give me a contract for four thousand dollars a year and then I can afford to take her with me on all the trips I will go down and see Tinker tomorrow morning and I will write you tomorrow night Al how much salary they are going to give me but I won't sign for no less than four thousand dollars you know me Al yours Jack Chicago Illinois February 15 old pal it is pretty near midnight Al but I've been to bed a couple of times and I can't get no sleep I am worried to death Al and I don't know where I am going to head in at maybe I will go out and buy a gun Al and end it all and I guess it would be better for everybody but I cannot do that Al because I have not got the money to buy a gun with I went down to see Tinker about signing up with the Federal League and he was busy in the office when I come in pretty soon Buck Perry the pitcher that was with Boston last year come out and seen me and as Tinker was still busy we went out and had a drink together Buck shows me a contract for five thousand dollars a year and Tinker had also give him a five hundred dollar bonus so pretty soon I went up to the office and pretty soon Tinker seen me and called me into his private office and asked what did I want I says I was ready to jump for four thousand dollars in a bonus he says I thought you was signed up with a white socks I says yes but I was not satisfied he says that does not make no difference to me if you are satisfied or not you ought to have come to me before you signed the contract I says I did not know enough but I know better now he says well it is too late now we cannot have nothing to do with you because you have went and signed the contract with a white socks I argued with him a while and asked him to come out and have a drink so we could talk it over but he said he was busy so there was nothing for me to do but blow so I am not going to the federal league Al and I will not go with the white socks because I have got a raw deal Kamiski will be sorry for what he has done when his team starts the season and he is up against it for good pitchers and then he will probably give me everything I ask for but that don't do me no good now Al I am weighing debt and no chance to get no money from nobody I wish I had stayed in Terre Haute Al and never saw this league your Al Jack Chicago Illinois February 17 friend Al Al don't never let nobody tell you that these here left handers is right this Allen my own brother-in-law who married sisters has been grafting and sponging on me all winter Al look what he done to me now Al you know how hard I've been up against it for money and I know he has got plenty of it because I seen it on him well Al I was scared to tell Flory I was cleaned out and so I went to Allen yesterday and says I had to have a hundred dollars right away because I owed the rent and owed the hired girl salary and could not even pay no grocery bill and he says no he could not let me have none because he has got to save all his money to take his wife on a trip to California and here he has been living on me all winter and maybe I could have took my wife to California if I had not have spent all my money taking care of this no good left hander and his wife and Al honest he has not got a thing and what not to be in the league he gets by with a dinky curveball and he has got no more smoke than a rabbit or something well Al I felt like busting him in the jaw but then I thought no I might kill him and then I would have Marie and Flory both to take care of and God knows one of them is enough besides paying his funeral expenses so I walked away from him without taking a crack at him and went into the other room where Flory and Marie was at I says to Marie I says Marie I wish you would go in the other room a minute because I want to talk to Flory so Marie beats it into the other room and then I tells Flory all about what Kamiski and the Federal League done to me she bawled something awful and then she says I was no good and she wished he had not never married me I says I wished it too and then she says do you mean that and starts to cry I told her I was sorry I says that because they is not no use fussing with girls Al especially when they is your wife she says no California trip for me and then she says what are you going to do and I says I did not know she says well if I was a man I would do something so then I got mad and I says I will do something so I went down to the corner saloon and started in to get good and drunk but I could not do it Al because I did not have the money well old pal I am going to ask you a big favor and it is this I want you to send me a hundred dollars Al for just a few days till I can get on my feet I do not know when I can pay it back Al but I guess you know the money is good and I know you have got it who would not have it when they live in Bedford besides I let you take $20 in June 4 years ago Al and you give it back but I would not have said nothing to you if you would have kept it let me hear from you right away old pal yours truly Jack Chicago Illinois February 19 Al I am certainly grateful to you Al for the hundred dollars which come just a little while ago I will pay the rent with it and part of the grocery bill and I guess the hired girl will have to wait a while for her but she is sure to get it because I don't never forget my debts I have changed my mind about the white socks and I'm going to go on the trip and take floria log because I don't think it would not be right to leave her alone in shy when her sister and all of us is going I am going over to the ballpark and up in the office pretty soon to see about it I will tell Kamiski I changed my mind and he will be glad to get me back because the club has not got no chance to finish no wears without me but I won't go on no trip or give the club my services without them giving me some more advanced money so as I can take floria along with me because Al I would not go without her maybe Kamiski will make my salary three thousand dollars like I wanted him to when he sees I am willing to be a good fellow and go along with him and when he knows that the federal league would have gladly gave me four thousand dollars if I had not have signed no contract with the white socks I think I will ask him for two hundred dollars advanced money Al and if I get it maybe I can send part of your hundred dollars back to you but I know you cannot be in no hurry Al though you says you wanted it back as soon as possible you could not be very hard up Al because it don't cost near so much to live in Bebford as it does here anyway I will let you know how I come out with Kamiski and I will write you as soon as I get out to Paso Robles if I don't get no time to write you before I leave your pal Jack P.S. I have took good care of myself all winter Al and I guess I ought to have a great season P.S. Flory is tickled to death about going along and her and I will have some time together out there on the coast if I can get some money somewheres Chicago Illinois February 21 friend Al I have not got the heart to write this letter to you Al I am up here in my 4250 a month flat and the club has went to California and Flory has went too I am flat broke Al and all I am asking you is to send me enough money to pay my fare to Bedford and they and all their leagues can go to hell Al I was out to the bull park early yesterday morning and some of the boys was there already fanning and kidding each other they tried to kid me too when I come in but I guess I give them as good as they give me I was not in no mind for kidding Al because I was there on business and I wanted to see Kamiski and get it done with well the secretary come in finally and I went up to him and says I want to see Kamiski right now he says the boss was busy and what did I want to see him about and I says I wanted to get some advance money because I was going to take my wife on the trip he says this would be a fine time to be telling us about it even if you was going on the trip and I says what do you mean and he says you are not going on no trip with us because we have got waivers on you and you are sold to Milwaukee honest Al I thought he was kidding at first and I was waiting for him to laugh but he did not laugh and finally I says what do you mean and he says cannot you understand no English you are sold to Milwaukee and I says I want to see the boss he says it won't do you no good to see the boss and he is too busy to see I says I want to get some money and he says you cannot get no money from this club and all you get is your fare to Milwaukee I says I am not going to no Milwaukee anyway and he says I should not worry about that suit yourself well Al I told some of the boys about it and they was pretty sore and says I ought to bust the secretary in the draw and I was going to do it when I thought no I better not because he is a little guy and I might kill him I looked all over for kid Gleason but he was not nowhere around and they told me he would not get into town to late in the afternoon if I could have saw him Al he would have fixed me all up I asked three or four of the boys for some money but they says they was all broke but I have not told you the worst of it yet Al when I come back to the flat Alan and Marie and Flory was busy packing up and they asked me how I come out I told them and Alan just stood there staring like a big rummy but Marie and Flory both begin to cry and I almost felt like as if I would like to cry too only I am not no baby Al well Al I told Flory she might just as well quit packing and make up her mind that she was not going nowhere till I got money enough to go to Bedford where I belong she kept right on crying and it got so I could not stand it no more so I went out to get a drink because I still had just about a dollar left yet it was about two o'clock when I left the flat and pretty near five when I come back because I had to run into some fans that knowed who I was and would not let me get away and besides I did not want to see no more of Alan and Marie till they was out of the house and on their way but when I come in Al they was nobody there they was not nothing there except the furniture and a few of my things scattered around I sit down for a few minutes because I guess I must have had too much to drink but finally I seen a note on the table addressed to me and I seen it was Flory's writing I do not remember just what was there in the note Al because I tore it up the minute I read it but it was something about I could not support no wife and Alan had gave her enough money to go back to Texas and she was going on the six o'clock train and it would not do me no good to try and stop her well Al there was not no danger of me trying to stop her she was not no good Al and I wished I had not have never saw either she or her sister or my brother-in-law for a minute I thought I would follow Alan and his wife down to the depot where the special train was to pull out of and wait till I seen him and punch his jaw but I seen that would not get me nothing so here I am all alone Al and I will have to stay here till you send me the money to come home you better send me twenty five dollars because I have got a few little debts I should ought to a pay before I leave town I am not going to Milwaukee Al because I did not get no decent deal and nobody can not make no sucker out of me please hurry up with the twenty five dollars Al old friend because I am sick and tired of shy and want to get back there with my old pal yours Jack PSL I wish I had have took poor little Violet when she was so stuck on me End of Chapter 3 Chapter 4 of You Know Me Al This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Rick Rodstrom You Know Me Al by Ring Lardner Chapter 4 A New Busher Breaks In Chicago, Illinois March 2 Friend Al Al that piece in the paper was all okay and the right dope just like you said I seen President Johnson the president of the league today and he told me the piece in the papers was the right dope and Kamiski did not have no right to sell me to Milwaukee because the Detroit club had never gave me no waivers on me he says the Detroit club was late in filing their claim and Kamiski must have taken it for granted that they was going to waive but President Johnson was pretty sore about it at that and says Kamiski did not have no right to sell me till he was positive that they was not no team that wanted me it will probably cost Kamiski some money for acting like he done and not paying no attention to the rules and I would not be surprised if President Johnson had him thrown out of the league well I asked President Johnson should I report it once to the Detroit club down south and he says no you better wait till you hear from Kamiski and I says what has Kamiski got to do with it now and he says Kamiski will own you till he sells you to Detroit or somewhere else so I will have to go out to the ballpark tomorrow and see is they any mail for me there because I probably will get a letter from Kamiski telling me I am sold to Detroit if I had of thought at the time I would have knew that Detroit never would give no waivers on me after the way I showed Cobb and Crawford up last fall and I might have knew too that Detroit is in the market for good pitchers because they got a rotten pitching staff but they won't have no rotten staff when I get with them if necessary I will pitch every other day for Jennings and if I do we will win the pen and shore because Detroit has got a club that can get two or three runs every day and all as I need to win most of games is one run I can't hardly wait till Jennings works me against the White Sox and what I will do to them will be a plenty it don't take no pitching to beat them anyway and when they get up against a pitcher like me they might as well leave their bats in the bag for all the good their bats will do them I guess Cobb and Crawford will be glad to have me on the Detroit club because then they won't never have to hit against me except in practice and I won't pitch my best in practice because they will be teammates of mine and I don't never like to show none of my teammates up at that though I don't suppose Jennings will let me do much pitching in practice because when he gets a hold of a good pitcher he won't want me to take no chances of throwing my arm away in practice Al just think how funny it will be to have me pitching for the Tigers in the same town where Violet lives and pitching on the same club with her husband it will not be so funny for Violet and her husband though because she has a chance to see me work regular she will find out what a mistake she made taking that left-hander instead of a man that has got some future and soon will be making five or six thousand dollars a year because I won't sign with Detroit for no less than five thousand dollars at most of course I could have had her if I had wanted to but still in all it will make her feel pretty sick to see me winning games for Detroit while her husband is batting fungos and getting splinters in his uni from sliding up and down the bench as for her husband the first time he opens his clamp to me I will haul off and bust him one in the jaw but I guess he will know more than to start trouble with the man of my size and who is going to be one of their stars while he is just holding down a job because they feel sorry for him I wish he could have got the girl I married instead of the one he got and I bet she would have drove him crazy but I guess you can't drive a left hand to crazier than he is to begin with I have not heard nothing from Florial and I don't want to hear nothing I and her is better apart and I wish she would sue me for the bill of divorce so she could not go around claiming she is my wife and disgracing my name if she would consent to sue me for a bill of divorce I would gladly pay all the expenses and settle with her for any sum of money she wants say about seventy five or a hundred dollars and there is no reason I should give her a nickel after the way her and her sister Marie and her brother-in-law Allen grafted off me probably I could sue her for a bill of divorce but they tell me it costs money to sue and if you just lay low and let the other side do the suing it don't cost you a nickel it is pretty laid out and I have got to get up early tomorrow and go to the ballpark and see is they any mail for me I will let you know what I hear old pal your old pal jack Chicago Illinois March 4th Al I am up against it again I went out to the ballpark office yesterday and there was nobody there except John somebody who is assistant secretary and all the rest of them is out on the coast with the team maybe this here John was trying to kid me but this is what he told me first I says is there a letter here for me and he says no and I says I was expecting word from Kamiski that I should join the Detroit club and he says what makes you think that you are going to Detroit I says Kamiski asked for waivers on me and Detroit did not give no waivers he says well that is not no sign that you are going to Detroit if Kamiski can't get you out of the league he will probably keep you himself and it is a sin she is not going to give up no picture to Detroit no matter how rotten he is I says what do you mean and he says you just stick around town till you hear from Kamiski and I guess you will hear pretty soon because he is coming back from the coast next Saturday I says well the only thing he can tell me is to report to Detroit because I won't never pitch again for the white socks then John gets fresh and says I suppose you will quit the game and live under savings and then I blowed out of the office because I was scared I would lose my temper and break something so you see how what I am up against I won't never pitch for the white socks again and I want to get with the Detroit club but how can I if Kamiski won't let me go all I can do is stick around till next Saturday and then I will see Kamiski and I guess when I tell him what I think of him he will be glad to let me go to Detroit or anywhere else I will have something on him this time because I know that he did not pay no attention to the rules when he told me I was sold to Milwaukee and if he tries to slip something over on me I will tell President Johnson of the League all about it and then you will see where Kamiski heads in at Al, old pal, that 25 dollars you give me at the station the other day is all shot to pieces and I must ask you to let me have 25 dollars more which will make 75 dollars altogether including the 25 dollars you sent me before I come home I hate to ask you this favor, old pal but I know you have got the money if I am sold to Detroit I will get some advance money and pay up all my debts inclusive if he don't let me go to Detroit I will make him come across with part of my salary for this year even if I don't pitch for him because I signed the contract and was ready to do my end of it and would have if he had not been nasty and tried to slip something over on me if he refuses to come across I will hire an attorney at law and he will get it all so Al you see you have got a cinch on getting back what you loaned me but I guess you know that Al without all this talk because you have been my old pal for a good many years and I have always treated you square and tried to make you feel that I and you was equals and that my success was not going to make me forget my old friends wherever I pitched this year I will insist on a salary of five or six thousand dollars a year so you see on my first payday I will have enough to pay you up and settle the rest of my debts but I am not going to pay no more rent for this rotten flat because they tell me if a man don't pay no rent for a while they will put him out let them put me out I should not worry but will go and rent my old room that I had before I met Flory and got into all this trouble the sooner you can send me that thirty five dollars the better and then I will owe you eighty five dollars inclusive and I will write and let you know how I come out with Kamiski your pal Jack Chicago Illinois March 12 friend Al I got another big surprise for you and this is it I am going to pitch for the White Sox after all if Kamiski was not an old man I guess I would have lost my temper and beat him up but I am glad now that I kept my temper and did not lose it because I forced him to make a lot of concessions and now it looks as though I would have a big year both pitching and money he got back to town yesterday morning and showed up to his office in the afternoon and I was there waiting for him he would not see me for a while but finally I acted like as though I was getting tired of waiting and I guess the secretary got scared that I would beat it out of the office and leave them all in the lurch anyway he went in and spoke to Kamiski and then come out and says the boss was ready to see me when I went into the office where he was he says well young man what can I do for you and I says I want you to give me my release so as I can join the Detroit Club down south and get in shape then he says what makes you think you are going to join the Detroit Club because we need you here I says then why did you try to sell me to Milwaukee but you could not because you could not get no waivers then he says I thought I was doing you a favor by sending you to Milwaukee because they make a lot of beer up there I says what do you mean he says you've been keeping in shape all this winter by trying to drink this town dry and besides that you tried to hold me up for more money when you already had signed a contract already and so I was going to send you to Milwaukee and learn you something and besides you tried to go with the federal league but they would not take you because they were scared to I don't know where he found out all that stuff at Al and besides he was wrong when he says I was drinking too much because there is not nobody that can drink more than me and not be affected but I did not say nothing because I was scared I would forget myself and call him some name and he is an old man yes I did say something I says well I guess you found out that you could not get me out of the league and then he says don't never think I could not get you out of the league if you think I can send you to Milwaukee I will prove it to you that I can I says you can because Detroit won't give no waivers on me he says Detroit will give waivers on you quick enough if I ask them then he says now you can take your chance you can stay here and pitch for me at the salary you signed up for and you can cut out the monkey business and drink water when you are thirsty or else you can go up to Milwaukee and drown yourself in one of them breweries which shall it be I says how can you keep me or send me to Milwaukee when Detroit has already claimed my services he says Detroit has claimed a lot of things and they have even claimed the Benin but that is not no sign they will win it he says and besides you would not want to pitch for Detroit because then you would not never have no chance to pitch against Cobb and show him up well now when he says that I know he appreciated what a pitcher I am even if he did try to sell me to Milwaukee or he would have not made that remark about the way I can show Cobb and Crawford up so I says well if you need me that bad I will pitch for you but I must have a new contract he says no I guess we can fix that up okay and he steps out in the next room a while and then he comes back with a new contract and what do you think it was Al? it was a contract for three years so you see I am sure of my job here for three years and everything is all okay the contract calls for the same salary a year for three years that I was going to get before for only one year which is $2,800 a year and then I will get in on the city serious money too and the Detroit club don't have no city serious and have no chance to get into the world series with the rotten pitching staff they got so you see Al he fixed me up good and that shows that he must think a whole lot of me or he would have sent me to Detroit or maybe to Milwaukee but I don't see how he could have did that without no waivers well Al I almost forgot to tell you that he has given me a ticket to Los Angeles where the second team are practicing at now but where the first team will be at in about a week I am leaving tonight and I guess before I go I will go down to President Johnson and tell him that I am fixed up all okay and I've got no kick coming so that President Johnson will not find Kamiski for not paying no attention to the rules or get him fired out of the league because I guess Kamiski must be all okay and good-hearted after all I won't pay no attention to what he says about me drinking this town dry because he is all wrong in regards to that he must have been joking I guess because nobody but some boob would think he could drink this town dry but at that I guess I can hold more than anybody and not be affected but I guess I will cut it out for a while at that because I don't want to get them sore at me after the contract they gave me I will write to you from Los Angeles Al and let you know what the boys says when they see me and I will bet that they will be tickled to death the rent man was around today but I seen him coming and he did not find me I am going to leave the furniture that belongs in the flat in the flat and also the furniture I bought which don't amount to much because it was not no real sir cash and walnut and because I don't want nothing round me to remind me of Flory because the sooner her and I forget each other the better tell the boys about my good luck Al but it is not no luck neither because it was coming to me yours truly Jack Los Angeles California March 16 Al here I am back with the White Sox again and it seems too good to be true because just like I told you they are all tickled to death to see me Kid Gleason is here in charge of the second team and when he seen me come into the hotel he jumped up and hit me in the stomach but he acts like that whenever he feels good so I could not get sore at him though he had no right to hit me in the stomach if he had have done it in earnest I would have walloped them in the jaw he says well if here ain't the old lady killer he meant Al that I am strong with the girls but I am well through with them now but he don't know nothing about the troubles I had he says are you in shape and I told him yes I am he says yes you look in shape like a barrel I says they is not no fat on me and if I am a little bit bigger than last year it is because my muscles is bigger he says yes your stomach muscles is immense and you must have gave them plenty of exercise wait till Bodie sees you and he will want to stick around you all the time because you make him look like a broom straw or something I let him kid me along because what is the use of getting mad at him and besides he is all okay even if he is a little rough I says to him a little work will fix me up all okay and he says you'll bet you are gonna get some work because I am gonna see to it myself I says you will have to hurry because you will be going up to Frisco in a few days and I am gonna stay here and join the first club then he says you are not gonna do no such thing you are going right along with me I know he was kidding me then because Callahan would not never leave me with the second team no more after what I had done for him last year and besides most of the stars generally always go with the first team on the training trip well I seen all the rest of the boys that is here with the second team and they all acted like as if they was glad to see me and why should not they be when they know that me being here with the white socks and not with Detroit means that Callahan won't have to do no worrying about his pitching staff but they is four or five young recruit pitchers with the team here and I bet they is not so glad to see me because what chance have they got if I was comiskey at Callahan I would not spend no money on new pitchers because with me and one or two of the other boys we got the best pitching staff in the league and instead of spending the money for new pitching recruits I would put it all in a lump and buy Ty Cobb or Sam Crawford off of Detroit or somebody else who can hit and Cobb and Crawford is both real hitters Al even if I did make them look like suckers who wouldn't well Al tomorrow I am I am going out and work a little and in the PM I will watch the game between we and the Venice Club but I won't pitch none because Gleason would not dare take no chances of me hurting my arm I will write to you in a few days from there because no matter what Gleason says I am going to stick here with the first team because I know Callahan will want me along with him for a attraction your pal Jack San Francisco California March 20th friend Al well Al here I am back in old Frisco with the second team but I will tell you how it happened Al yesterday Gleason told me to pack up and get ready to leave Los Angeles with him and I says no I am going to stick here and wait for the first team and then he says I guess I must have overlooked something in the papers because I did not see nothing about you being appointed manager of the club I says no I am not manager but Callahan is manager and he will want to keep me with him he says I got a wire from Callahan telling me to keep you with my club but of course if you know what Callahan wants better than he knows it himself why then go ahead and stay here or go jump in the Pacific Ocean then he says I know why you don't want to go with me and I says why and he says because you know I will make you work and won't let you eat everything on the bill affair including the name of the hotel at which we are stopping at that made me store and I was just going to call him when he says did you not marry Mrs. Allen's sister and I says yes but that is not none of your business then he says well I don't want to butt into your business but I heard you and your wife had some kind of argument and she beat it I says yes she gave me a rotten deal he says well then I don't see where it is going to be very pleasant for you traveling around with the first club because Allen and his wife is both with that club and what do you want to be mixed up with them for I says I am not scared of Allen or his wife or no other old hand so here I am Al with the second team but it is only for a while till Callahan gets sick of some of them pictures he has got and sends for me so he can see some real pitching and besides I am glad to be here in Frisco where I made so many friends when I was pitching here for a short time till Callahan heard about my work and called me back to the big show where I belong and nowhere else yours truly Jack San Francisco California March 25 old pal Al I got a surprise for you who do you think I seen last night nobody but Hazel her name now is Hazel Levy because you know Al she married Kid Levy the middleweight and I wish he was champion of the world Al because then it would not take me more than about a minute to be champion of the world myself I have not got nothing against him though because he married her and if he had not of I probably would have married her myself but at that she could not have treated me no worse than Flory well they was sitting at a table in the cafe where here and I used to go pretty near every night she spotted me when I first come in and sends a waiter over to ask me to come and have a drink with them I went over because there was no use being nasty and let bygones be bygones she introduced me to her husband and he asked me what I was drinking then she butts in and says oh you must let Mr. Keith buy the drinks because it hurts his feelings to have somebody else buy the drinks then Levy says oh he is one of these he has spent ribs is he and she says yes he don't care no more about a nickel than his right eye does I says I guess you have got no holler coming on the way I spend my money I don't steal no money anyway she says what do you mean and I says I guess you know what I mean how about that $30 that you borrowed off of me and never give it back then her husband cuts in and says you cut that line of talk out or I will bust you I says yes you will and he says yes I will well Al what was the use of me starting trouble with him when he has got enough trouble right through home and besides as I say I have got nothing against him so I got up and blowed away from the table and I bet he was relieved when he seen I was not going to start nothing I beat it out of there a while afterward because I was not drinking nothing and I don't have no fun sitting around the place and lapping up ginger ale or something and besides the music was rotten Al I certainly am glad I throwed Hazel over because she has grew to be as big as a horse and is all painted up I don't care nothing about them big dolls no more or about no other kind neither I am off of them all they can all of them die and I should not worry well Al I done my first pitching of the year this PM and I guess I showed them that I was in just as good a shape as some of them birds that has been working a month I worked four innings against my old team the San Francisco club and I give them nothing but fast ones but they sure was fast ones and you could hear them zip Charlie O'Leary was trying to get out of the way of one of them and it hit his bat and went over first base for a base hit but that Furnier would have eaten it up if it had been a chase playing first base instead of Furnier that was the only hit they got off me and they ought to have been ashamed to have taken that one but Gleason don't appreciate my work and him and I almost come to blows its upper I was pretty hungry and I ordered some steak and some eggs and some pie and some ice cream and some coffee and a glass of milk but Gleason would not let me have the pie or the milk it would not let me eat more than half the steak and it is a wonder I did not bust them up and tell him to mind his own business I says what right have you got to tell me what to eat and he says you don't need nobody to tell you what to eat you need somebody to keep you from floundering yourself I says why can't I eat what I want to when I have worked good he says who told you you work good and I says I did not need nobody to tell me I know I work good because they could not do nothing with me he says well it is a good thing for you that they did not start munting because if you would have went to stoop over and pick up the ball you would have busted wide open I says why and he says because you are hog fat and if you don't let up on a steak and fancy groceries we will have to pay too fast to get you back to shy I don't remember now what I says to him but I says something you can bet on that you know me Al I wish Al that Callahan would hurry up and order me to join the first team if he don't Al I believe Gleason will starve me to death a little slob like him don't realize that a big man like I needs good food and plenty of it your pal Jack Salt Lake City Utah April 1 Al well Al we are on our way east and I am still with the second team and I don't understand why Callahan don't order me to join the first team but maybe it is because he knows that I am all right and have got the stuff and he wants to keep them other guys around where he can see if they have got anything the recruit pitchers that is along with our club have not got nothing and the scout that recommended them must have been full of hops or something it is not no common thing for a club to pick up a man that has got the stuff to make him a star up here and the White Sox was pretty lucky to land me but I don't understand why they throw their money away on new pitchers when none of them is no good and besides who would want a better pitching staff than we got right now without no raw recruits and bushes I worked in Oakland the day before yesterday but he only let me go the first four innings I bet them Oakland birds was glad when he took me out when I was in that league I used to just throw my glove in the box and them Oakland birds was licked and honest out some of them turned white when they seen I was going to pitch the other day I felt kind of sorry for them and did not give them all I had so they got five or six hits and scored a couple of runs I was not feeling very good at that and besides we got some awful excuses for a ball player on this club and the sport they give me was the rottenest I ever seen gave anybody but some of them won't be in this league more than about 10 minutes more so I should not fret as they say we play here this afternoon and I don't believe I will work because the team they got here is not worth wasting nobody on they must be a lot of boobs in this town now because they tell me that some of them has got half a dozen wives or so and what a man wants with one wife is a mystery to me let alone a half dozen I will probably work against Denver because they got a good club and was champions of the western league last year I will make them think they are champions of the Epworth league or something yours truly Jack Des Moines Iowa April 10 friend Al we got here this a.m. and this is our last stop and we will be an old shy tomorrow to open the season the first team gets home today and I would be there with them if Callahan was a real manager who knows something about managing because if I am going to open the season I should ought to have one day of rest at home so I would have all my strength to open the season the Cleveland club will be there to open against us and Callahan must know that I have got them licked any time I start against them as soon as my name is announced to pitch the Cleveland club is licked or any other club when I am right and they don't kick the game away behind me Gleason told me on the train last night that I was going to pitch here today but I bet by this time he has got orders from Callahan to let me rest and to not give me no more work because suppose even if I did not start the game tomorrow I probably will have to finish it Gleason has been sticking around me like as if I had a million bucks or something I can't even sit down and smoke a cigar but what he is there to knock the ashes off of it he is okay and good-hearted if he is a little rough and keeps hitting me in the stomach but I wish he would leave me alone sometimes especially at meals he was into breakfast with me this am and after I got through I snuck off down the street and got something to eat that is not right because it costs me money when I have to go away from the hotel and eat and what right has he got to try and help me order my meals because he don't know what I want and what my stomach wants my stomach don't want to have him punching it all the time but he keeps on doing it so that shows he don't know what is good for me but he is an old man now otherwise I would not stand for the stuff he pulls the first thing I am going to do when we get to shy is I am going to a restaurant somewheres and get a good meal where Gleason or no one else can't get at me I know already what I am going to eat and that is a big steak and an apple pie and that is not all well Al watch the papers and you will see what I have done to that Cleveland club and I hope Lajowie and Jackson is both in good shape because I don't want to pick on no cripples your pal Jack Chicago Illinois April 16 old pal yesterday was the first payday old pal and I know I promised to pay you what I owed you and it is $75 because when I asked you for $35 before I went west you only sent me $25 which makes the whole sum $75 well Al I can't pay you now because the pay we drawed was only for four days and did not amount to nothing and I had to buy a meal ticket and fix up about my room rent and then there is another thing Al which I will tell you about I come into the clubhouse the day the season opened and the first guy I seen was Alan I was going up to bust him but he come up and held his hand out and what was day for me to do but shake hands with him if he is going to be yellow like that he says well Jack I'm glad they did not send you to Milwaukee and I bet you will have a big year I says yes I will have a big year okay if you don't stick another one of your sister in laws on me he says oh don't let they be no hard feelings about that you know it was not no fault of mine and I bet if you was to write to Flory everything could be fixed up okay I says I don't want to write to know Flory but I will get an attorney at law to write to her he says you don't even know where she is at and I says I don't care where she is at where is she he says she is down to her home in Waco, Texas and if I was you I would write to her myself and not let no attorney at law write to her because that would get her bad and besides what do you want an attorney at law to write to her about I says I am going to sue her for a bill of divorce then he says on what grounds and I says desertion he says you better not do no such thing or she will sue you for a bill of divorce for non-support and then you will look like a cheap guy I says I don't care what I look like so you see Al I had to send Flory $10 or maybe she would be mean enough to sue me for a bill of divorce on the ground of non-support and that would make me look bad well Al Alan told me his wife wanted to talk to me and try and fix things up between I and Flory but I give him to understand that I would not stand for no meeting with his wife and he says well suit yourself about that but there is no reason you and I should quarrel you see Al he don't want no mix up with me because he knows he could not get nothing but the worst of it I will be friends with him but I won't have nothing to do with Marie because if it had not have been for she and Flory I would have money in the bank besides not being in no danger of getting sued for non-support I guess you must have read about Joe Benz getting married and I guess he must have got a good wife and one that don't bother him all the time because he pitched the opening game and shut out Cleveland with two hits he was pretty good Al better than I ever seen him and it was a couple of times when his fastball was pretty near fast as mine I have not worked yet Al and I asked Callahan today what was the matter and he says I was waiting for you to get in shape I says I am in shape now and I noticed that when I was pitching in practice this AM they did not hit nothing out of the infield he says that's because you are so spread out that they could get nothing past you he says the way you are now you cover more ground than the grandstand I says is that so and he walked away we go out on a trip to Cleveland and Detroit and St. Louis in a few days and maybe I will take my regular turn then because the other pitchers has been getting away lucky because most of the hitters has not got their batting eye as yet but wait till they begin hitting and then it will take a man like I to stop them the first of May is our next payday Al and then I will have enough money so as I can send you the $75 your pal Jack Detroit Michigan April 28 friend Al what do you think of a rotten manager that bulls me out and finds me $50 for losing a one-to-nothing game in 10 innings when it was my first start of the season and no wonder I was a little wild in the tent when I had not had no chance to work and get control I got a good notion to quit this rotten club and jump to the Federals where a man gets some kind of treatment Callahan says I throwed the game away on purpose but I did not do no such thing Al because when I throwed that ball at Joe Hill's head I forgot that the bases was full and besides if Gleason had not have starved me to death the ball that hit him in the head would have killed him and how could a man go to first base and the winning run be forced in if he was dead which he should ought to have been the lucky left-handed stiff if I had had of my full strength to put on my fast one instead of being half starved to death and weak but I guess I better tell you how it came off the papers will get it all wrong like they generally always does Callahan called me this a.m. if I thought I was hard enough to work and I was tickled to death because I seen he was going to give me a chance I told him sure I was in good shape and if Dem Tiger scored a run off me he could keep me sitting on the bench the rest of the summer so he says all right I am going to start here and if you go good maybe Gleason will let you ate some supper well Al when I begin warming up I happen to look up in the grandstand and who do you think I seen nobody but Violet she smiled when she seen me but I bet she felt more like crying well I smiled back at her because she probably would have broke down and made a scene or something if I had not of there was not nobody warming up for Detroit when I begin warming up but pretty soon I looked over to their bench and Joe Hill Violet's husband was warming up I says to myself well here is where I showed that bird up if they got nerve enough to start him against me but probably Jennings don't want to waste no real picture on this game which he knows we got cinched and we would have had it cinched out if they had got a couple of runs or even one run from me well Jennings come past their bench just like he always does and tried to pull some of his funny stuff he says hello are you still in the league I says yes but I come pretty near not being I came pretty near being with Detroit I wish you could have heard Gleason and Callahan laugh when I pulled that one on him he says something back but it was not no hot comeback like mine well Al if I had have had any work and my regular control I guess I would have pitched a zero hit game because the only time they could touch me was when I had to ease up to get them over Cobb was out of the game and they told me he was sick but I guess the truth is that he knowed I was gonna pitch Crawford got a couple of lucky scratch hits off of me because I got in the hole to him and had to let up but the way that lucky left-handed Hill got by was something awful and if I was as lucky as him I would quit pitching and shoot craps or something our club can't hit nothing anyway but batting against this bird was just like hitting fungos his curveball broke about half an inch and you could have wrote your name and address on his fast one while it was coming up there he had good control but who would not when they put nothing on the ball well Al we could not get started against the lucky stiff and they could not do nothing with me even if my support was rotten and I give a couple or three or four bases on balls but when they was men waiting to score I zipped them through there so they could not see them let alone hit them every time I come to the bench betweenings I looked up to where Violet was sitting and give her a smile and she smiled back and once I seen her clapping her hands at me after I had made Moriarty pop up in the pinch well we come along to the 10th inning zero and zero and all of a sudden we got after him Bode hits one and Shaw gets two strikes and two balls and then singles Callahan tells Alcock to bunt and he does it but Hill sprawls all over himself like the big booby is and the bases is full with nobody down well Gleason and Callahan argued about should they send somebody up for me or let me go up there and I says let me go up there because I can murder this bird and Callahan says well there's nobody out so go up and take a while up honest Al if this guy had had anything at all I would have hit one out of the park but he did not have even a glove and how can a man hit pitching which is not no pitching at all but just slopping them up when I went up there I hollered to him and says stick one over here now you yellow stiff and he says yes I can stick them over all right and that's where I got something on you well Al I hit a foul off of him that would have been a fair ball and broke up the game if the wind had not have been against it then I swung and missed the curve that I don't see how I missed it the next one was a yard outside and his Evans calls it a strike he has had it in for me ever since last year when he tried to get funny with me and I says something back to him that stung him so he calls this third strike on me and I felt like murdering him but what is the use I throw down my bat and come back to the bench and I was glad Callahan and Gleason was out on a coaching line or they probably would have said something to me and I would have cut loose and beat them up well Al Weaver and Blackburn looked like a couple of rums up there and we don't score where we ought to have had three or four runs with any kind of hitting I would have been all okay in spite of that piece of rotten luck if this hill had have walked to the bench and not said nothing like a real pitcher but what does he do but wait out there till I start for the box and I says get on to the bench you lucky stiff or do you want me to hand you something he says I don't want nothing more of yarn I already got your girl and your goat well Al what do you think of a man that would say a thing like that and nobody but a left hander could have if I had had a gun I would have killed him deader than a doornail or something he starts for the bench and I hollered at him wait till you get up to that plate and then I am going to beam you Anastal I was so mad I could not see the plate or nothing I don't even know who it was come up to bat first but whoever it was I hit him in the arm and he walks the first base the next guy bunts and Chase tries to pull off one of them plays of his instead of playing safe and he don't get nobody well I kept getting madder and madder and I walked Stannage who if I had been myself would not foul me Callahan has Scotty warming up and Gleason's runs out from the bench and tells me I am through but Callahan says wait a minute he's going to let Hill hit and this big stiff ought to be able to get him out of the way and that will give Scotty a chance to get warm Gleason says you better not take a chance because the big bush is hog wild and they kept arguing till I got sick of listening to them and I went back to the box and got ready to pitch but when I seen this Hill up there I forget all about the ball game and I cut loose at his beam well Al my control was all okay this time and I catched him square on the forehead and he dropped like as if he had been shot but pretty soon he gets up and gives me to laugh and runs the first base I did not know the game was over till Weaver come up and pulled me off the field but if I had not have been half starved to death in week so as I could not put all my stuff on the ball you can bet that Hill never would have ran the first base and Violet would have been a widow and probably a lot better off than she is now at that I never should ought to have tried to kill a left-hander by hitting him in the head well Al they jumped all over me in a clubhouse and I had to hold myself back or I would have gave somebody the beating of their life Callahan tells me I am fine $50 and suspended without no pay I asked them what for and he says they would not be no use in telling you because you have not got no brains I says yes I have got some brains and he says yes but they are in your stomach and then he says but you wish we had sent you to Milwaukee and I come back at him I says I wish you had of well Al I guess there is no chance of getting square treatment on his club and you won't be surprised if you hear of me jumping to the Federals where a man is treated like a man and not like no white slave yours truly Jack Chicago Illinois May 2 Al I have got to disappoint you again Al when I got up to get my pay yesterday they held out $150 on me $50 of it is what I was fine for losing a one to nothing 10 inning game in Detroit when I was so weak that I should ought never to have been set in there and $100 is the advance money that I drawed last winter which I had forgot all about and the club would have forgot about it too if they was not so tight-fisted so you see all I get for two weeks pay is about $80 and I sent $25 to Flory so she can't come no non-support business on me I am still suspended Al and not drawing no paying Al and I got a notion to hire a attorney at law and force them to pay my salary or else jump to the Federals where a man gets good treatment Alan is still after me to come over to his flat some night and see his wife and let her talk to me about Flory but what do I want to talk about Flory for or talk about nothing to a nut left-hander's wife the Detroit club is here and Cobb is playing because he knows I am suspended but I wish Callahan would call it off and let me work against him and I would certainly love to work against this Joe Hill again and I bet they would be a different story this time because I've been getting something to eat since we've been home and I got back most of my strength your old pal Jack Chicago Illinois May 5 friend Al well Al if you've been reading the papers you will know before this letter is received what I've done before the Detroit club come here Joe Hill had win four straight but he has not win no five straight or won't either Al because I put a crimp in his winning streak just like I know what I would do if I got a chance when I was feeling good and had all my strength Callahan asked me yesterday a.m. if I thought I had enough rest and I says sure because I did not need no rest in the first place well he says I thought maybe if I laid you off a few days you would do some thinking and if you done some thinking once in a while you would be a better pitcher well anyway I worked and I wish you could have saw them tigers trying to hit me Cobb and Crawford inclusive the first time Cobb come up Weaver catch the lucky line drive off of him and the next time I eased up a little and Collins run back and took a fly ball off of the fence but the other times he come up he looked like a sucker except when he come up in the eighth and then he beat out a bunt but almost anybody is liable to do that once in a while Crawford got a scratch hit between Chase and Blackburn and the second inning and in the fourth he was gave a three base hit by this Evans who should ought to be writing for the papers instead of trying to umpire the ball was two feet foul and I bet Crawford will tell you the same thing if you ask him but what I done to this hill was awful I give him my curve twice when he was up there in the third and he missed it a foot then I come with my fastball right past his nose and I bet if he had not have ducked it would have drove that big horn of his and clear up in the press box where them rotten reporters sits and smokes their hops then when he was looking for another fast one I slopped up my slow one and he is still swinging at it yet but the best of it was that I practically won my own game Bodie and Shork was on when I come up in the fifth and hill hollers to me and says I guess this is where I shoot one of them bean balls I says go ahead and shoot and if you hit me in the head and I ever find it out I will write and tell your wife what happened to you you see what I was getting at Al I was insinuating that if he beamed me with his fast one I would not never know nothing about it if somebody did not tell me because his fast one is not fast enough to hurt nobody even if it should hit them in the head so I says to him go ahead and shoot and if you hit me in the head and I ever find out I will write and tell your wife what happened to you see Al of course you could not hire me to write the violet but I did not mean that part of it in earnest well sure enough he shot at my bean and I ducked out of the way though if it had have hit me it could not have did no more than tickle he takes two more shots and misses me and then Jennings hollers from the bench what are you doing pitching or trying to win a cigar so then he'll sees what a monkey he is making out of himself and tries to get one over but I have him three balls and nothing and what I done to that groover was a plenty she went over Bush's head like a bullet and got between Cobb and Veach and goes clear to the fence Bodie and Shork scores and I would have scored two if anybody else besides Cobb had have been chasing a ball I got two bases and Weaver scores me with another wallop say I wish I could have heard what they said to that baby on the bench Callahan was tickled to death and he says maybe I will give you back the $50 if you keep that stuff up I guess I will get that $50 back next payday and if I do well I will pay you the whole $75 well Al I beat them five to four and with good support I would have held them to one run but what do I care as long as I beat them I wish though that Violet could have been there and saw it yours truly Jack Chicago Illinois May 29 old pal well Al I have not wrote to you for a long while but it is not because I have forgot you and to show I have not forgot you I am enclosing the $75 which I owe you it is a money order Al and you can get it cash by taking it to Joe Higgins at the PO since I wrote to you Al I've been east with the club and I guess you know what I've done in the east the athletics did not have no right to win that one game off of me and I will get them when they come here the week after next I beat Boston and just as good as beat New York twice because I beat them one game all alone and then save the other for Eddie Seacott the ninth inning and shut out the Washington club and would have done the same thing if Johnson had been working against me instead of this left-handed stiff bowling speaking of left-handers Alan has been going rotten and I would not be surprised if they sent him to Milwaukee or Frisco or somewhere but I got bigger news than that for you Al Flory is back and we are living together in the spare room at Alan's flat so I hope they don't send them to Milwaukee or nowhere else because it is not costing us nothing for room rent and this is no more than right after the way the Alan's grafted off of us all last winter I bet you will be surprised to know that I and Flory has made it up and there is a secret about it Al which I can't tell you now but maybe next month I will tell you and then you will be more surprised never it is about I and Flory and somebody else that is all I can tell you now we got in this AM Al and when I got to my room there was a slip of paper there telling me to call up a phone number so I called it up and it was Alan's flat and Marie answered the phone and when I recognized her voice I was going to hang up the phone but she says wait a minute somebody wants to talk with you and then Flory come to the phone and I was going to hang up the phone again when she pulled this secret on me that I was telling you about so it is all fixed up between us Al and I wish I could tell you the secret but that will come later I have took in my baggage over to Alan's and I am there now writing to you while Flory is asleep and after a while I am going out and mail this letter and get a glass of beer because I think I have got one coming now on account of this secret Flory says she is sorry for the way she treated me and she cried when she seen me so what is the use of being nasty Al and let bygones be bygones your pal Jack Chicago Illinois June 16 friend Al Al I beat the athletics two to one today but I am writing to give you the surprise of your life old pal I got a baby and he is a boy and we are going to name him Alan which Flory thinks is after his uncle and aunt Alan but which is after you old pal and she can call him Alan but I will call him Al because I don't never go back on my old pals the baby was born over to the hospital and it is going to cost me a bunch of money but I should not worry this is the secret I was going to tell you Al and I am the happiest man in the world and I bet you are most as tickled to death to hear about it as I am the baby was born just about the time I was making McInnes look like a sucker in the pinch but they did not tell me nothing about it till after the game and then they gave me a phone message in the clubhouse I went right over there and everything was all okay little Al is a homely little skate but I guess all babies is homely and don't have no looks till they get older and maybe he will look like Flory or I then I won't have no kick coming be sure and tell Bertha the good news and tell her everything has come out all right except that the rent man is still after me about that flat I had last winter and I am still paying the old man ten dollars a month for that house you got for me and which has not never done me no good but I should not worry about money when I got a real family do you get that Al a real family well Al I am too happy to do no more writing tonight but I wanted you to be the first to get the news and I would have sent you a telegram only I did not want to scare you your pal Jack Chicago Illinois July 2 old pal well old pal I just come back from St. Louis this a.m. and found things in pretty fair shape Flory and the baby is out to Allen's and we will stay there till I can find another place the doctor was out to look at the baby this a.m. and the baby was waving his arm around in the air and Flory asked was they something to matter with him that he kept waving his arm and the doctor says no he was just getting his exercise well Al I noticed that he never waved his right arm but kept waving his left arm and I asked the doctor why was that and the doctor says I guess he must be left handed that made me soar and I says I guess you doctors don't know it all then I turned around and beat it out of the room well Al it would be just my luck to have him left handed and Flory should ought to have knew better than to name him after Allen I'm going to hire another doctor and see what he has to say because they must be some way of fixing babies so as they won't be left handed and if necessary I will cut his left arm off of him oh of course I would not do that Al but how would I feel if a boy of mine turned out like Al and then Joe Hill and some of them other nuts we have a game with St. Louis tomorrow and a double header on the 4th of July I guess probably Callahan will work me in one of the 4th of July games on account of the holiday crowd you're pal jack p.s maybe I should ought to leave the kid left handed so as he can have some of their luck the lucky stiffs end of chapter four