 Hello everyone, welcome to the Narc Survival YouTube channel. Before I begin please hit that thumbs up button down below to help to support our community. People narcissists cannot tolerate. Narcissists cannot be around healthy people or functional behaviour for a long period of time. A healthy person is one who is in a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being. Some examples of this may be a person who doesn't drink alcohol or smoke. They are at a healthy weight as they eat a balanced diet. They think in a positive way by expressing optimism, agreement and acceptance. And they're happy and comfortable because nothing is boring in them. So that's what a healthy person is as for functional social behaviour that would include healthy communication, cooperation, tolerance, acceptance, respect, empathy, loyalty, love, play and humour. Which of course are all things that we should encourage and promote in our society. But these are all things that narcissists cannot tolerate. They're things that they cannot allow the existence, occurrence or practice of without interference because it repulses them. It makes them feel sick because they are anything but normal or functional. A normal functional person can process and communicate their emotions effectively because they're able to acknowledge their feelings and share them with each other. Which means that they both recognise and accept how each other feels. And this is normal, good and healthy. But to the narcissist it may be something that they see as a disturbance or problem because it's something that they can't do. They can't be around healthy people for a long period of time. They can for a short time as long as they're able to manipulate and control them. Because otherwise people are quickly going to detect what is wrong with an narcissist even if they don't already know what is wrong. They will just intuitively know because information is always being conveyed. So they will feel muscle tightness in their solar plexus area or in their guts. And they may experience stomach nausea or sweaty palms. Because at some point they will sense that they're dealing with an empty shell, a void. Someone who likes to control everyone and everything around them. Someone who needs things to go their way. Which is an impossible situation. Things cannot develop or progress with a narcissist. People just end up being sucked into the void. And then they feel drained and lifeless by the end of it. Because narcissists have no respect for people's free will. Which is why when people are interacting with them they may have difficulty breathing. They may freeze. They may feel like movement is difficult or not possible. As though something is preventing or inhibiting their occurrence or development. Because that's exactly what narcissists do. They suffocate people. They make them feel trapped and oppressed. To where people can't even be themselves. Because even if you're just at peace with yourself. And you're minding your own business. They will manipulate and gas like you to make you angry or upset. Because they just can't be around normal healthy people. Narcissists are full of counterproductive tension. Deep down they feel inadequate and full of shame. They try to suppress it but it then comes out in their inappropriate behaviors. Because they're more damaged and afraid than their own victims. It's just that they're better at hiding it. Or they will find a way to pass that energy on to someone else and make them identify with it. They are shame based people who are doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame. Which means that they are constantly disowning parts of themselves that they don't like. And assigning them to other people. So they really have no true identity or self of their own. They just bit some pieces of whatever they've picked up from other people. And when people are interacting with them they will often detect it. They will feel like they're being sucked into a black hole. Or as though they're sinking in quicksand. But narcissists are also instinctive. And they will recognize when they can't get anything from certain people. Because they're usually quite good at investigating and examining who is going to be a suitable candidate for abuse. And it's determined by who they think they're going to be able to control. Because that's all they're really trying to do. They need to have someone who they can control at all times. Someone who is under their influence and within their possession. Which they can then use as a standard for comparison. Where they can determine and supervise their behavior. To learn what makes them tick. What they like and dislike. Their feelings, opinions and concerns. So that they can then have the power to influence and direct their target's behavior. And the course of events. And to keep them in a constant state of reactivity. So that it validates the narcissists' delusions of themselves being all-knowing, all-powerful and the source of all moral authority. So they're pretty much just seeking out someone who will make them feel like a god. And if they don't get that, then in their minds something is wrong. But they can cope with it for a short period of time. Although they really don't like it when people are not willing to put up with them. Because it's not something they're used to. Usually narcissists do hold the power in any given situation. And people do change themselves and bend over backwards to please them. So when someone doesn't do that, it really catches them off guard. Because it's not something they're used to. But if they're in a public setting, they may just bite their tongue and then take it out on their nearest and dearest when they get home. Because free speech or freedom of expression where people are open with each other cannot exist around the narcissist. No one can express their opinions without censorship or restraint. Or without deleting certain parts of it. So there is no freedom or empowerment in that type of environment. And in fact it just imprisons people in a state of weakness and low self-esteem. Because they're made to feel like they're not good enough to control their own lives or to claim their own rights. As though they have to be told what to say or what to do. Which means that any open communication is destroyed. Because the narcissist specifically targets enablers who lack the potential to prevent them from destroying it. Which then gives them the ability to remove anything that is functional that they don't like. Such as personal boundaries and privacy. Because without that it prevents you from becoming the captain of your own ship or from leading your own life. And instead it puts the narcissist in the driving seat to where they can easily manipulate and abuse you and get you to bend to their will. Where they will force or persuade you to do what they want or to accept their opinions. Which they will blame you for at a later date. Because they don't really care about anything. Other than being able to access you and mess with you. If you found this video helpful so far please do give it a thumbs up down below. Thank you. So there can't be any rules and they can't be held accountable for anything or obligated to do anything. Because otherwise they can't get their supply. And you will find that the more supply they get from you the more it begins to affect your self-esteem. The better you feel the worse off they feel. If you feel good they feel bad. Because that means they have less control. Well if they're able to manipulate and control the environment. There's going to be a lot of negativity. A lot of drama and chaos because they're going to be hurting people for their own benefit. As they are trying to maintain control over their subordinates and opponents. By encouraging disagreement and difference of opinion between them. To prevent them from uniting in opposition against an assist. Because that is the last thing they want. They wouldn't know what to do if that ever happened. Because everything that they're trying to avoid or destroy is functional and harmonious relationships. Where people are connected. Where people feel and behave in a respectful and appropriate way towards each other. And they can change and grow and effectively deal with problems. Which is something that you can do. But they can't. Because they fear that you're just going to bet yourself and leave them behind. So they are terrified of you growing, changing and improving yourself. Because that then proves to everyone that something is terribly wrong with them. It would be the only possible conclusion. And that is what scares them. But when you realise this. Everything starts to make sense. Because it explains everything. It explains every decision they make with you and other people. And it's why they must avoid and destroy functional behaviour. Because it's the only way that they can grow and develop successfully. It's the only way that they can maintain the illusion. Because the illusion has nothing to do with the truth, understanding or cooperation. It has nothing to do with love. It is against that. But it has to maintain the facades in order for it to survive and fool people. Well at the same time it's actually doing the exact opposite. Because it's nothing more than a combination of ideas and features which are opposed to one another. It really doesn't make any sense because it's inconsistent. It's a statement of possession that is opposite to one which was already made. And it's because they already know that something is seriously wrong with them. That's why they hide it and they present a facade. Because they're trying to look normal. While they continue to thrive in an environment that is dysfunctional. An environment where nothing can grow or develop. But then that's exactly how they want it. Because they're not normal. They are dysfunctional. So of course they are quite comfortable with the way things are. They don't want anything to change. Because if the environment was healthy and normal. They would be unable to survive. And you would see them act out all the time. Because they're uncomfortable with anything normal. They can't stand it. It just reminds them that it is them. It tells them that they are the problem. And they'd rather just be in denial and live a fake life. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Hit that subscribe button to receive the notifications. And if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me-nax survivor. You can book a one-on-one with me on my website at isnaxsurviver.co.uk. Thank you all for watching and I will talk to you soon.