 Welcome to the 21 convention Tampa Florida, man This is actually of an honor to introduce this next speaker and the reason why is is I have heard about him for almost a Decade and I've heard about him through a very close friend of mine I didn't make the connection until just now. He is somebody who is taught more in field than anybody And maybe multiple people combined since was it 2007? Every weekend 47 weekends a year three days a Week man, that's some insane skills. This is Alex man. Take it away. Great to meet you. Thank you All right All right. Hello everybody my first time here. My name is Alex I'm from Brisbane, Australia just arrived about five minutes ago from Miami where I taught a boot camp in a hot seat Which is my job my occupation in life Boot camp is where I take guys in field and teach and pick up in day game night game bars clubs all that kind of stuff And the hot seat is the program where I show videos of me picking up girls breaking it down answering questions stuff like that However, I didn't always used to do this job. I aspire to be a psychologist where I studied psychology at the University of Queensland in Brisbane, Australia when I Wasn't doing so well in my social life and I invited 300 people to my 21st birthday and not a lot of people came And then I thought I was a loser. So I had to get into self-help before that a couple of months before that I had a kind of a heartbreaking situation, which was my own fault. I broke up with a girl who I was dating for like six months Because her parents wouldn't let her stay over at my house And I made the resolution that I was going to work for 18 months To get the deposit for a home loan to buy her a house so she could stay at my own home Okay, so I did that like an idiot and for 18 months I worked at a box factory actually distribution center in Brisbane, Australia and Every day I thought about the girl thought about my future and I achieved this I got a loan approved from a bank in Australia And then when I sent the letter to her to come and live with me to live in my house I bought her Tiffany's bracelet. She sent it back via her friend saying no, thank you and don't ever talk to me again So I was all heartbroken. I tried to be a player Nobody came to my 21st birthday and then I got into to pick up and it was pretty cool And since February 2007 all that I've done is kind of kind of psychology kind of going in clubs Approaching girls Helping people meet the women they want in their life helping people to face their own fears grow emotionally internally Today with just an hour to talk and me at the end of my exhaustion tether after four long days in a long drive up Here I want to kind of touch on a whole combination of ideas that I Know in a unique way that the average person might not that what we call they are the pedestrians and the civilians of the world All of which probably want to meet more girls have more abundance get better quality of chicks have even better relationships I want to talk about some of the things that a guy in my position who spends literally What is that about 150 days of my year four to five hours in field going out and meeting chicks So I've got a really unique perspective and it's far removed from university Which what which I literally like failed out of because they took that trip. So What do I know that I can share with the world that most of the world doesn't know about? Start with the intergame stuff and do a bit of intergame bit of stories bit of practical things that you can implement and Hopefully you can take a lot out of it. So number one in a game In a game and limiting beliefs things like confidence and an ability to walk up to any girl feeling as you guys say confident We don't actually use the word confident because by layman's terms and books and magazines and radio and shit like that It's too hard to understand and grasp to be confident And it actually implies an intensity and an aggression and a kind of a March onus and those kinds of things which actually a Very that they kind of make a girl feel like under duress when you act overly confident Okay, what's better is being smooth. So the word that we use For confidence is actually unapologetic or a concept called relaxed arousal But what that means confidence actually comes when you perceive that nothing holds you back a freedom from outcome and The way that we kind of like practically implement that in a bar We use this concept called the front door rule where we're not too worried about the outcome of the first 30 seconds or five minutes of the interaction. We're more worried about who we're gonna walk out with at the end of the night So what that means how you practically implement that is That you don't need to do some brilliant social skill or some amazing Confident game in order to impress the chicks that you like although. Let me just say the niche that I'm talking about here is How to meet people through cold approach Cold approach, you don't know them you're approaching them for the first time You want to meet a gorgeous girl in the bar if you're already in a relationship You want to know how to be able to go and meet anyone anytime any place Even if it's kind of a high status person who intimidates you how to do that in a cool way And if you're in a relationship To not get kind of stuck in the relationship and feel trapped or feel like you're settling But of course if you're single and you want to make the most out of your life and eventually have that Abundance to choose the girl that you want to marry and live with for the rest of your life You want to have that selectivity and the way you do that is having a great Ability in a game emotions in order to cold approach anyone anytime so with confidence with being unapologetic We when you approach somebody you're it's actually quite non-eventful Okay in the first 30 seconds or five minutes. I see the guys who read like our men's magazines GQ FHM stuff like that They do try to be super confident a little bit arrogant and kind of show their value a little too much But the thing is a truly high value guy a man of value we use the terminology of value not high value a guy Who's of value would never need to kind of shove it down somebody's throat would never need to prove that they have value Instead it's just there. I'll demonstrate this in a second So one of the big awesome kind of tricks or things that you can implement is be the kind of guy Who's willing to say to a girl? Oh go ahead? Go dance. You want to go dance go for it? Don't let me stop you. That's the key word if you can say don't let me stop you Then the girl is not going to see you as a guy who's trying to pick her up Even though you may be even though that's your intention to leave with her at the end of the night So by saying don't let me stop you she's going to go run away dance go to the bathroom get a drink Do whatever she wants to do which is fine and you can always re-approach I don't know of you guys in the audience how many of the students and how many of the stuff but Who here if you do an approach and you get some kind of like Unfavorable response the girl walks away gives you a bad look you kind of feel like the interaction is over for good show of hands You feel like it's over for good. It's like oh the bad look It's gone and you let it go and you kind of get into a bad state you feel almost like a loser Okay, like a bad feeling which fucking sucks But that's actually what it's gonna look like you let the girl go and you can always re-approach again a little bit later And if you're the kind of guy straight away who can say don't let me stop you go and dance Knowing that it's totally cool to re-approach again later She sees you not as somebody who's trying to capture and hold and command her attention But somebody who's willing to let her have fun With like with with you not under your control, which is actually kind of similar to slavery You know in the old days of Confederate America So when you say to the chicks go ahead go dance do whatever you want to do and you re-approach Then they see you as someone who's not going to try to trap them. We also have this kind of concept I'm just going to go all over the place a whole lot of different concert Concepts that I'm going to share with you today. We have a concept called the inception dynamic All right, this is kind of a weird one kind of a deep one, but let's get into it the inception dynamic It all revolves around if you're in a nightclub in a social space It's not about trying to get the girl to like you so much in the first five minutes that she's gonna think Oh my god, this guy who I just met from cold approach. Well, I don't know who has no known status to me He's so fucking great. I want to take him upstairs and fuck him right now. That doesn't happen That's not how girls work from cold approach Instead if you're a guy, I actually asked you to be less confident in the way that you understand it and instead play that Reapproaching game but know how to not be in the friend zone know how to use physicality With the chicks because physicality is basically chemistry in the way that FHM or movies talk about it I've got chemistry with the girl. That's knowing how to touch the chick another massive general mistake that a lot of Civilian fellows out there who don't do self-development type of seminars They often put their hand on the lower back of the girl and straight away When you put your hand lower back of the girl or in that kind of area It shows that you've got an intent or a kind of a pickup desire Which isn't a bad thing But when the girl knows that you're there to pick her up then she's gonna think well, okay This is gonna be a kind of a linear progression from start to finish I know that this guy is sexually interested in me like every other guy and because it's a linear progression It's not unpredictable. It's boring. It's unarousing and she's gonna disengage She's not gonna be that excited. So one of the rules that we play by is called social physicality So you only kind of touch the girl on the shoulder areas and have her touch you on the shoulder areas in The same kind of area where American football players wear their pads. So when setting up this thing called the inception dynamic We're talking to the girl thinking about how we're gonna leave with her at the end of the night Not how we're gonna attract her in the first couple of minutes But we're gonna be demonstrating to the girl that we're outgoing We can be physical Important to avoid the friend zone or Mr. Nice guy is know how to use negative expressions To call the girl out the challenge her to say you're disappointing You're crazy what the fuck to give her like Disapproving looks in a fun way or maybe sometimes you actually mean it as well and have the physicality So you put the girl in a position where She's Experiencing you as a guy whose approach her who she doesn't know you can be physical you can express a range of emotions We also use a lot of positivity talk about that one in a second and as the night goes on You're not showing a kind of a sexual intent, but you are making her more comfortable through familiarity and She feels physically comfortable in your space not defensive towards you She kind of sees you as an ally but defensive towards all the other guys And as the night goes on We want to try to set up a situation where she's gonna ask the question in her own head Why doesn't this guy like me? Okay, what like he's confident all the guys like me. He's making contact He's calling me out. He's complimenting me Why isn't he trying harder and the minute that you get that girl to form that question? Does he even like me what's going on here? She becomes extremely engaged and not defensive You're not the kind of guy who's trying to pick her up in a traditional sense and very very importantly She's cool to walk out of the bar with you at the end of the night. I See these problems with guys in now There's a international community of pickup type fellows and self-development who mistake Their great work ethic which applies to their finances their friends the gym nutrition They apply their work ethic to meeting women and that try hard that that effort that effort and that Intent makes girls defensive. It's not a bad character trait, but you need to know how to hold it back in a nightclub Who has more value men or women? Don't want to speak to the wall wall who has more value men or women in a nightclub Obviously women, but the magical thing and this is like in all my years of experience. These are the most important things to us The magical thing about a nightclub is the minute that you walk out of the front door in the club The girl is the queen absolutely the queen when you walk out of the front door. She's no longer the queen You're the boss not in a belligerent tyrannical way You're the leader with a plan going for food after-party instant date If you're the guy to walk that girl to the car or the taxi or whatever it's going to be you actually not only Make her feel comfortable you have the physicality and when it goes comfortable She can allow herself to feel attracted and excited when it goes under duress or when she thinks you're trying to pick her up She can't really allow herself to let loose and have fun So when you're the guy who walks her out of the front door, okay? And I'm gonna reconcile all these I see the looks in the audience. So like isn't this low value shit I'll get to that stuff in a second When you walk the guard at the front door you're actually playing this other part of the game where you're Qualifying her where you're telling her that you choose her Specifically for a very good reason more so than any other girl in the bar and when you do that she feels chosen She's not gonna stay there like stand there saying thank you for choosing me. Thank you for walking me home She's definitely gonna say things like you don't have to walk me home You don't have to walk me to my taxi stand. You don't have to walk me to my front door That's when you say no I want to I'm winning here. This is fucking awesome You're a gorgeous and you're a great change of pace from looking at my my workmates face for the last five days in the week And so the girl is gonna feel special. Okay, so you need to add that I know that out there in the society in regular society and The self-help world and the old pickup world you have this terminology called high value Demonstrating high value and avoiding low value. Okay, you want to show the girl that you're high value And you don't want to be a low value type of guy. Well As I have a little drink because my voice is fucking dying It's not about high value or low value. It's that you're of value of Value is the word but the dynamic that the dimension and the dynamic that nobody takes into account is time Women always say and for the guys in the room who have wives and girlfriends or who have had Great girlfriends. Have your girlfriends said to you things like I want to spend time together show of hands It's not a very interactive audience by the way, but they always say I want to spend time together And as guys how seriously do we take that shit? Not very it's like oh We're here. Well, of course. We're here. We're spending time together the girls Female psychology has a very distinct pattern When a human being has an encounter with the unknown when you're doing cold approach. You are the unknown So when you do an when you do a cold approach and you present yourself as an unknown stimulus Human beings react one of two ways to the unknown. Does anybody know what it is one of two ways to an unknown stimulus Exactly fight or flight and when a man approaches a girl on a bar and she has an unknown stimulus and she gets fight or flight What's she gonna do every time? Flight for the most part unless she's very socially well adjusted and feels very comfortable so you're always gonna get that fight or flight response from the girl the flight response and evasive response and it looks like rejection although it's pretty much just Evasion under duress for the most part most guys are bigger and more masculine And if you're approaching the girl you tend to overcompensate your confidence and kind of form like step up to kind of get in her face and make yourself known but What's better is to kind of keep it chill to not elicit that flight response almost like boring And allow yourself to be a calming influence like like approaching like a baby cow I mean horse baby horse like the foal or something and after a couple of minutes Then she's like okay. He's not an unfamiliar stimulus anymore. Then you can run Kind of like confident game confident approaching As you know with more physicality with more colorful expressions nags as you say a more affectionate things qualification stuff like that And then the girl is going to start to understand you a Being of value Being a man of value and being attractive Or desirable to the girl is a function of time So the longer that you're in the interaction with the chick the more she realizes that you are of value Of value not high value not low value, but simply of value Why because you're an individual man who can vote who can communicate himself who can even get into a social place like a bar Whereas the other guys who are trying to demonstrate extra value The girls feel like the guys like overcompensating for something And she gets kind of defensive It's kind of predictable a lot of guys walk around feeling low value because they don't have the cars money The the looks the body whatever it might be, but even if you're far from perfect in today's society, you're still of value Unless you basically shoot yourself in the foot Is anyone here willing to do a demonstration on stage real quick? Is anyone here willing to go on camera? I don't know come on up come on up mate join in the fun I Like to normally do this with like a glass of red wine. Okay. Do you have a phone? Yeah, do you have a phone in your pocket? Do you have anything electronic? Okay, no worries The way that I could best describe this to people About being of value Just by the way that you are the girls feeling that you have value just by you being there And this is kind of hard for me to comprehend in the beginning. So I'm sure it is for all as well When when I don't want to spill a shitload of water here organizers I don't want to spill water I'm just going to try not to do that But when you're kind of like making so much effort All the water like a full glass of water your full energy and your focus and your value Bleeds out or drips away. And so like if I put this near you you're not really worried. You don't flinch, do you? It's just like a glass of water No big deal even if you're holding a laptop which usually I would do if we could uh spin the camera around doesn't matter However And this stage is a bit rocky. So be careful And we have a tv in the background as well But don't worry. We have iphone on the table if I bring this near you with the full value Your your your attentiveness that duress that sense of evasion that fight or flight start to trigger Okay, and it's not really a problem because it's just water Not red wine not beer or not even milk which I've done this with before and you're like whoa And so it's it has a presence. Okay. Thank you very much sir. Have a seat that Analogy you just being you being a guy wrong way mate Has a presence just as you are and when Our guys in our company we started recording ourselves We would see ourselves like so many guys out there in the world going up and be like blah blah blah Look at me. Look at me. Don't look away. I'm worried like avoiding evasion Acting through scarcity all that bad stuff and I'm like why the fuck am I doing this? Why am I such a try hard? Why am I over compensating my confidence? I didn't know until I watched Cold approaches me approaching chicks and my students approaching chicks That value would fulfill as a function of time being of value not being high value Because high trying to be high value is actually a compensation for feeling low value So that feeling just stepping up and kind of holding the frame and being of value that is actually something that every guy Who's well adjusted can go and do straight away and actually start to become attractive or more importantly the word attraction Out there in the world a complete rubbish It's not applicable to when you're going out and cold approaching women because attraction actually implies Be high value demonstrate all that kind of confusing stuff and it makes you overcompensate The word that we functionally use is can you arouse the girl? all right, so in a topic in a in a video here where we're talking about attracting chicks and Ideally I guess what the goal is for most guys is to meet more chicks get them to be into you So you can get them into a isolated space to have those fun intimate times called sex You want to be able to arouse the girl So just by being a guy and approaching her for the most part that's going to arouse her for the most part Day game wise if you go and approach a girl during the day and you're not completely crazy about it Like you're quite socially well adjusted and you just say excuse me and you know you start the approach That's arousal and that's attraction beginning to happen as the the main stream knows it arousal however and attraction and engagement Is when you have a continual contrast of emotions if you all watched a movie That was like as grown men if you watched the movie bambi, which I really haven't seen for like years and years It's pretty much positive emotion after positive emotion positive thing happening The fucking dears are running around in the field with the butterflies and something else happens and it's all happy. Yay Luckily the movie is not completely boring because there's a deer fatality or something. I forget the plot of bambi but when When as a guy You approach the girl and you're not just mr. Nice guy Can I buy you a drink? Look at my Porsche key chain. Look at my clothing You're so nice when you're not mr. Nice guy as a lot of guys tend to be overcompensating trying to get the girl's attention Or the pickup guy who becomes mr. Neg guy Who becomes super macho? super disapproving Super kind of like dower in your demeanor that again is only one range of emotions So it's not a rousing because there's no contrast and I for one I went through a stage where I would like neg neg neg Be super engaging to the girl for about three minutes But after she realized that it was only only doing the negative emotions She was like well, this is predictable. This is boring. This is going nowhere and also comes from a place of low value Ideally if you want to be engaging if you want to start to conduct longer interactions from cold approach And long interactions as I said build familiarity And they allow you to walk the girl out of the front door at the end of the night where results happen Then actually Being a kind of a mr. Nice guy is the best way to do it the easiest to access the easiest to implement If you're not that socially experienced and the best way to get results It's quite cool because when I say everyone and those on the camera be mr. Nice guy I actually see in the audience borrowed brows and I see a couple people like what what the fuck well One of the big problems that the average fellow has when he's approaching chicks Is that he's not arousing because he has nothing to say and no way to express himself But what's actually super easy to do Is go up and start with the light-hearted positive and appreciative comments They're not a big deal if you say to a girl You're cute. You're nice. You're pretty. You're very well dressed this evening. That doesn't you don't lose your value Okay, if you're just like oh the big value here and you say something nice It's not like you're trying to be impressive. You're just being expressive You're just allowing Emotions to fly out of you that others can engage and when you set a precedent of positivity And you're nice nice to meet you. We're having a good time. What a great day This is my game basically I go up and like hey, are you having a good day? I'm gonna get a I'm gonna get a drink because I like beer Yeah, how's the weather like so simple and actually kind of socially Like like disadvantage. I'm like a socially disadvantaged person almost And I'm like you're so nice. You're so pretty. Look at your hair setting a precedent of positivity When you do that when you set the precedent of positivity No one can fault that and it doesn't put a girl under duress And it's easy for you to do if you want to go out there and meet more chicks The girl will likely say thank you cool. Not a big deal. That's the equivalent of you saying to your friend Oh mate looking good. Fucking you're getting bigger in the in the arms. What are you bench pressing these days? Your mate's going to be a little bit more But you're not going to sit around thinking about it all day And you're not going to discredit your your mate for saying they For him saying that you're stronger than him. It's not a big deal So to a girl when you start with the lighthearted positive expressions She's going to be like, oh cool. No big deal. At least this guy knows how to express himself The good thing is then When the girl can't fault you for being easy going and approachable Easy going and not freaking her out when you do it that way and you do drop a neg For example a negative expression Then it's going to be extremely engaging. Okay If you can do both positive expressions and negative expressions relatively early on Then the girl has anticipation For the entire rest of the interaction that night on dates in a relationship or whatever So I'll go up to a girl and I'll be like, hey, what's going on? I usually what I like to do. It's kind of a trick I'll wait till the girls are lining up at the bar and I'll line up next to them So I've got that five minutes where we can chit chat get along and it'd be kind of lighthearted easy going And then sooner or later They'll do something kind of immature or giggling in fact One of the ones that I like to call them out on is the seahorse Do you anyone know the seahorse call out? No, when girls laugh in a nightclub in a social place with their high heels on and their nice dresses When a girl laughs it's kind of I'm gonna really embarrass myself here doing this the girl's kind of like And that's the seahorse so she starts doing the fucking seahorse like And laughing like a fool Call her a seahorse and she laughs even more her heads down nearby your crutch And you're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? So if you can throw out that negative expression, what the fuck is going on here? She knows that you're a type of guy who can express yourself really well, but think about it even more A high value guy And let's refer to uh, high value guys in our society american, european, uk and australian Some great examples are gordon ramsey and simon cowell And uh, I can't really think of too many others that are really international, but those two are great Gordon ramsey When he when he goes to these restaurants to berate the fuck the people who work there He'll sit down at the uh the table and there'll be some like 18 year old 17 year old waitress will come over And he'll be the sweetest guy ever to the waitress. Thanks sweetheart. Thanks darling much appreciated great job Well done very light heart very charming and it's a problem because the word charm and gentleman and dapper It doesn't get thrown around that much more in the Meeting girls Industry the self-development of meeting girls industry. It's got a little bit too aggressive for my liking So gordon ramsey is actually super positive simon cowell is actually for the most part very good at expressing what he likes But these guys also are good at expressing what they don't like. Let me say again Jeremy Clarkson, even though he's an old wrinkly man with his like What is it called like a gobble throat like the turkey throat? He also is very good at the positive and the negative and it's no surprise That these guys are extremely engaging entertainers Whereas tv shows it's all too positive or too nice to kind of boring hell boring. We don't even watch them So the pickup itself I don't like the fact That when you're going out to learn game learn how to meet more women in your life that you need To become some kind of macho angry guy because you then make it harder for yourself a lot harder for yourself And when you make it harder for yourself you tend to overcompensate and do more Which then makes it even harder for yourself and it leads to to being angry to being out of state and a true hatred of other people when really Unfortunately, it's your fucking work ethic your desire to put good work ethic Into meeting other people that actually creates a problem for you. Okay I like to think of picking up chicks As yoga. Okay, anyone can do it yoga All of our bodies and our hormones are capable of empathizing with people empathizing with women Appreciating them enjoying them expressing ourselves and feeling emotions yoga is about Stretching out and gaining balance. It's about enabling you to do what you're capable of doing in your body Everyone here is capable of expressing themselves However, if you don't do yoga or even stretch at the gym Your body's going to become more and more Seized up and crippled because you don't know how to use it And that's the same with your social skills. If you're not going out a lot if you spend too much time on the computer If you're an introvert because not it's not your fault if you're introverted That's called being naive. Nobody told you you didn't have the right older brother You didn't know about the 21 convention. You didn't know about youtube channels If nobody told you that you're allowed to stretch Yourself and enable yourself with what you get what you can do Then you're going to stay all kind of crippled up and you actually have to go to the bar and start going out of meeting people for In a kind of a emotionally crippled and decrepit state and start allowing to stretch and warm up Before you're you're normal What we call socially well adjusted and when you're socially well adjusted then you have the full command Over how you move how you want to express yourself your balance your versatility your reactivity your responsivity And that is what translates in real life to being charming elegant witty intuitive appreciative stuff like that another another cool thing that I have kind of observed and discovered that I really enjoy is That girls feel most sexy Not by you being kind of like sexually verbally I guess aggressive or confrontation or something like that girls actually feel most sexy when they're most relaxed So some of the best results that I get when I'm picking up chicks and actually we do it just about every night we go out and the the things that I do with the chick both to make her feel as sexy as possible and therefore like sexually confident And willing and desiring to be sexually intimate with a guy who's allowing her to feel that way Is being appreciative of her and it's not low value to be appreciative Okay, and it's a little bit. It's a lot. It's a lot different from saying things like you're a sexy. Fuck I want to bang you imagine me bending you over which some people misinterpret as well Some people will see that and they run with it because they saw it in a movie or whatever but by being appreciative and Literally saying things like I'm so glad I can just have this sense of escapism standing here with you This bias fucking hectic. I'm so sick of my fucking workplace looking at you is a great alternative. Thank fuck hold my hand So I make the other girls Jealous hold my arm. So the other guys are going to be jealous of me those kinds of things And it's not like you're gaming her and kind of like putting her on a formal pedestal It's more like you're being appreciative and when the girl feels appreciated Appreciated and all it takes is for you to say it out loud to verbalize it. I know that you do you see a hot girl And she's looking amazing hair make-up shoes dress And if you say that something to the effects very tastefully like fuck you nailed that Okay, I saw a gorgeous girl a venice welling girl in miami this week black dress But this sparkly blue necklace and matching shoes. I'm like, fuck you nailed that. That's awesome I just want to look at you I want to look at you from a close distance and she's like, oh see you know this little maneuver that they do and She's like, thank you So instead of me trying to pick her up and trying to make it super serious in the way that I'm picking her up It's actually very light-hearted and therefore she's non defensive the interaction can go further And that when the girl feels chill and you're not the one rushing the game forward when you're allowing If you're going slower, then you allow her to be involved as well And if she can be involved then she feels like she's getting you as well You'll also get a lot less resistance when it comes to phone calls Taking to go home becoming intimate and stuff like that A good example great example that I like to talk about. Let's go anecdotal here for a moment. I've got a friend who is in a in a weird way the The epitome the heights the pinnacle of socially conditioned when Sweden was carved up after russian wars or something a few hundred years ago a Buddy of mine from Finland His family his great-great-great-grandfathers they were granted like all of the real estate in central Helsinki So this guy is the heir to billions of european euros When you know when when his time comes so this guy's inherit is going to inherit billions of euros crazy That means he's got a lot of pressure on him. He's in the public figure he needs to be in touch with what society expects of him more so than anything but because He has so much pressure on him and he has to be so socially Aware and he can't kind of put a foot wrong in the public eye He is extremely stifled and socially conditioned It's a problem. Anyway, he wanted an excuse to get away From the city for a couple of days. He wanted to go to an island this guy His family owns a lot, but it has an island There's a little island about as big as this room big as a football field like a soccer field and an amazing little house Manmade beaches speed boats interior decorated. It's like a girl's dream a chicks dream He makes a phone call and he met some chicks about a week ago. They're all like 18 and 19 Out at a some kind of boat festival there in finland and he's like chicks Why don't you join us on the island for the evening? I'll even bring in the chef Okay, it brings in a chef to make food for us all night And the chef brings a whole lot of alcohol So we go to the island and I'm just sitting there. I'm thinking we're all going to sleep in this same house somewhere on this In like finite island this evening. There's three girls. There's two guys and a chef who's like pretty much out of the game So he's the old chef man With wife, so he's out of the game and these three gorgeous young finished girls And they're from these gorgeous young that these gorgeous Families like of wealth and the good thing about those well-off chicks is they're very cosmetically Adept they're very cosmetically expressive They know how to put themselves together because they do that kind of thing They're very in touch with that because they too have the public eye on them When we're on that island we sat down for dinner and the calling the prince the heir to the throne the prince He was sitting by the girl The cutest of the three chicks And he was just at her at her at her at her and this guy's in his early 30s This this girl is 19 years old How do you think a 19 year old girl is going to react to a guy just like at like intensely? He's a big frame guy Not heavy-set and a muscular but a tall european guy And I just saw her there going into her shell and into her shell and into her shell And he was making the the process of the game and the meeting so formal That by making it that formal for the chicks They then became so inside of their head nervous. They wanted to be formal They didn't want to make a bad impression. They wanted to look their best and basically everybody seizes up And I'm sitting there at the dinner table thinking No one's going to get late if this happens. This is fucking stupid. So I pulled out a little manoeuvre. Okay highly highly advanced game Picking up chicks manoeuvre. I don't know if I can do it with this microphone on I'll see what I can do. It's the good old shirt over the head manoeuvre. Okay, and I got my I got my beer Tipped a little bit on my head and sprayed it in the guy's face Spread it in the prince's face. I love the looks on your faces right now. It's quite unapproving good and When he did that he's like, dude, what the fuck my polo shirt my my tailored pants. I'm like good, mate Good have a beer just I took that on his head as well and by doing that This is an extreme example on a Island and then closed on the long way away He it took the formality out of it and the girls like yay. We can all be informal now We can all relax now. This is great. And I'm I'm just I don't want to rush it I mean he's the boss. It's his on it's his girls I don't want to rush the entire thing But I needed to kind of break that tension because it was such a An extreme example of how intense most people make it and as the night went on It's like it's a foregone conclusion. You're already on a fucking island with three young chicks who already admire you It was great. I actually hooked up with all three of them But then went with I hooked up with one of them He hooked up with the other one the other one actually rolled her ankle and had to go to bed But what happened after that when the girls relaxed These these young fun desiring girls. They just took all their clothes off kept the high heels on which was important I like that and just running around in their lingerie like yay. It's the sound of music And like this is how it's supposed to be So de-formalizing it and being like allowing yourself to be prone to error is really important What else can we talk about here with that appreciation? Okay with the appreciation of girls When you're at a seminar like this or watching this kind of seminar online in the future You've got you're dedicating a time in your life to getting the most out of this part of your life work ethic Let's apply ourselves. Let's get the most out of this And what happens is you go out and you meet a lot of people And you approach so many girls in so many situations with such Almost predictably similar responses that you lose all passion That you become robotic and functional You become a systematic type of guy with no interest or intent or desire For the girls that you want to meet and I had trouble with this for a long time My job is to pick up chicks to go out to bars like three days a week and have my own social life I'm inundated in it and when I look at all these different chicks. I it's very easy to not give a fuck so I needed to build in a facility in my my psychology I guess and my dynamics that would remind me why I'm doing this and bring that passion back When you're meeting chicks and when chicks are being approached by guys If you don't have the x factor in your eye If you don't have the gleam in your eye that you really want to meet that fucking chick She's not going to be she's not going to be emotionally moved. She's going to be like, well, this is cool But this is not passion. You don't really like me individually You're just doing this to get pussy that kind of thing and it's not going to work You're not going to have the x factor that you need to get over the logistics Some angry friends some concerns from her Her her kind of banter because she's not as socially relaxed as what you might be And the way we design this this dynamic That would give you the x factor and the gleam in your eye and we call it the statement of motivation And it's exactly the same As as you appreciating the girl So when we started going out and started with that positive type of game that almost nice guy type of game the positive precedent I'm running around all the time using this thing called the statement of motivation So what that is is when I see a chick I'll say what I like about her or what motivates me to speak with her And all of a sudden I'm not just doing the approach and developing my social skills As a system because it's a self-help type of thing to do I'm actually Refocusing on the individual people that I'm meeting in an emotional way because emotions have to come first And while you're emotionally engaging these girls all the the systems and the ideas and these kind of seminars that you're listening to They'll pop up in your head and they'll present themselves when you need them most that's called self-trust So my first focus when I walk into a set and we have this on youtube videos online For the most part when I approach a girl the first thing I'll say is oh, you're so beautiful Like god forbid. You're so beautiful. She's like, oh, thank you. It's not a big deal. But I'm like, yeah, she is beautiful She's a different variation of normal. She's attractive. Yes imperfect. Yes But oh, this is these are the cool traits and all of a sudden I wake up to it And any guy can do this Okay, and all of a sudden you'll go from being maybe kind of socially decrepit and uptight And then you'll enjoy meeting people which makes this yoga type of process of learning and expanding game Really enjoyable and easy to get good at because you know, we all start as like beta males We start as beta males who are young and introverted and inside of our head and cast by social conditioning I mean to go through that Right of passage where we go out meet girls get rejected have great intimate results And that turns into you becoming an alpha male with abundance. It's great when you do have that abundance When you do become somebody like simon cowl who's Renowned as a kind of a player and funnily enough in australia gordon ramsey is like a sex symbol I know there's a couple Australians in the room and he's talked about as a sex symbol I see that i'm like it doesn't really make sense. But when you're walking around with that abundance And if you if you're that famous and you're that good at meeting everybody It's not like you're ever filtering anybody you can meet any person and appreciate them because if you don't do that You'll hate the world. You'll hate the masses and some celebrities get it wrong They hate the paparazzi. They hate the masses and they make it hard for themselves Some celebrities make it easy for themselves Because they're good at just taking five minutes and appreciating every single person and somebody like For example, richard branson who does a whole lot of speaking tours He's a great example of that being momentarily appreciative. So he stays in touch with human beings What else can we talk about here today? Let me think All right, I guess how long do we have left? I could do some questions 17 minutes Okay, I'll go with some questions because that'll kind of direct me where I want to go Or where if there's any other topics that I want to talk about So what I've said here so far. I'm talking about being of value Demonstrating value as a function of time not by overexaggerating it being more appreciative of the people that you meet So they Feel that X factor in that gleam in your eye and you have the extra motivation that you need to take the interaction a long way further I'm talking about Deformalizing the pickup approach and not thinking of it as a skill based part of your life But as a relaxation almost meditative part of your life. And I guess another really cool thing When you're high value with chicks in a bar when you're going out meeting chicken bars clubs parties and day game I know that the High achieving man The kind of guys who go to seminars they're thinking results I want pussy and I want it in an efficient amount of time. Okay and abundance of it I get some nods in the audience Well, it's not like that when you meet a girl You you're gonna have a session of five or six hours in that bar in that evening Where sex can't happen Now it can obviously but you've got to assume that it's not ever going to be likely the first four hours of meeting a girl You're in a bar. You're in transition home. You're at an after party Maybe you lapse and you go on a date again later if you allow yourself to emotionally accept the fact that sex can't happen It's like you've got no dick. Okay, or you've got whiskey dick imagine that I can't even have sex Well, all you've got left is appreciating the girl and not being sexual And finally that actually makes you feel appreciated and sexy and non defensive and gives you the best chance for results So that's what i'm talking about here And that's some of the insights that we use the hard part is not getting ahead of yourself If there's any questions, let's talk about that and that'll kind of get me moving in different directions Because there's a lot of stuff that I can talk about arousal any questions mates Any anything at all? Yep. Go ahead so So a lot of what I hear is that apparently the goal of the night is to sleep with a girl, right? So it's like, okay, well I'll have four hours Let us run this race as opposed to say, okay What do I need to do to secure? You know a date, right? Uh-huh. So so what do you think about that? What's really the the framework here? You know, what's the goal? Let me explain. Yeah, great great question. So The question is a recorder. I don't I don't need to say them out loud again Great cool. Gotcha The goal is not to sleep with a girl The goal is to have the abundance to choose and create options for yourself To have a great girl in your life or a great social life or I for one I travel a lot So I love being surrounded by girls who have a lot of aesthetic pride because I think it's beautiful. I love it Okay, it's kind of kind of it's kind of relaxing um So the goal is to leave with them Because when you leave with them from the big complicated social place And then you kind of go through that bottleneck into a more isolated situation Then you are the sole source of their engagement And then if you're the the primary the monopoly of their source of engagement and arousal then They are going to be attracted to you You're the individual guy who they will be attracted to or aroused by and thinking about and comfortable with and You are the one enabling her to have fun and therefore be intimate In terms of securing the date That kind of language and if we want to be nitpicky here with like in a game language The way that you describe these things for example secure even though you use that light light heartedly as uh as a question The way you think about these things when you're under pressure in the moment in the bar The the language that you learn this by pops up and it has a world of difference So when you're using the word secure a date that implies a fear of loss Okay Yeah, exactly. It implies a fear of loss if you think okay must do things to secure the date It's not that word that you want to use and we are being nitpicky here because that's all that we do it Yeah, we just sit around seven days a week thinking about how to pick up girls and have the best end game to do so We use the word inspire their attention Inspire we want to inspire their their attention and what that means Is not secure in a kind of a trapping controlling and I like to use the words enslaving To control them in such an extreme way. That's an extreme example to inspire them because if you need to inspire them then you need to be continuously Arousing and expressive and have ideas and be appreciative which as a guy if you've got enough abundance You know that not one girl is going to solve all of the world's problems having a great Mother of your children and a great soulmate is great, but appreciating everyone So you should always be looking to be influential Showing others a good time appreciating others. So you should be continually engaged in the world And that will be continuously arousing for the girl which will make her inspired by your company Should be thinking he can talk to anyone, but he appreciates me I hope I don't lose him because he can approach any other girl at the same time A great dynamic that we always use a lot of once we have a girl inspired in the bar not hooked But inspired if I use a slight american accent Then we have the girl on our arm while we're you know chilling out chatting kind of being friendly and almost platonic But we have her on our arm With the physicality and we're opening other conversations with chicks. So she's like shit He's not trying to trap me and he could leave he could divert his attention at any time So how do you inspire the date? Appreciate her individually and verbalize it and she'll you when you monopolize her attention And you make her physically comfortable And you can call her out by showing a range of emotions that you have personal boundaries You're not a pushover that you have your own individual life. Then she's going to think okay He's the man. He's the center of my attention right now. I wonder what will happen in terms of securing a date And I'm a pickup and dating coach Securing a date or inspiring the date It's actually better when you're meeting a girl in the evening at bars clubs and parties Not to leave her thinking that you want to date her You want to leave her wondering What the next part in your interaction is going to be will he call won't he call Do I like him? Do I not like him? Should I play hard to get should I not play hard to get that engagement When she takes the phone call she will explore further when actually if you're a young guy In your 20s going out and making out with girls in bars and getting almost like hot and heavy In the bar or even trying to kind of get the girl to your front door and then try to make some heavy moves If you do that she's going to think okay when she takes the phone call Oh, he really likes me. He really is going to want to have sex That's cool. I like that But I know where this is going. It's unarousing. The phone call is not going to be that exciting Of course some girls do just want to have sex. That's fine But a lot of the girls aren't physiologically and emotionally prepared to bang it the first opportunity So I kind of put that one out of my head. So What you've got to do is actually do less intimacy and less sexuality Onto her you can express it openly like I love sex But like we're friends that kind of thing So she knows that you can do it if you want to but you're not putting under the pressure and making it predictable That it's going to happen. So when you go to do the date after the meeting the first day She's going to explore Where it goes not worry about being under sexual pressure or feeling like a slut for going to fuck every guy she meets Okay, is that a thorough answer? Great. Cool. Another question What's your take on low energy and and high energy in an interaction because you're quite high energy Absolutely. Well, I'm doing a presentation. I'm like boom high energy stomping around be careful table. Yeah, um All right, you guys are a quiet audience today. Um high energy and low energy I don't you don't want to think of it that way because It almost implies that you need to be one or the other you want to monopolize your emotions a great phrase I don't know where I learned it and I'm sure it was somebody from like a 21 convention type of group or something I learned this phrase that people only have as much power as you give them and then I stopped When girls didn't like me I wouldn't empower that For whatever reason if they didn't buy into what I was doing if they didn't if they weren't interested in me If they had other priorities that wouldn't take away from my mind my mind my monopoly of emotions But by the same token very importantly for everyone in the room Don't then get into state and excited When a girl starts doting on you or when you'll kind of feel like you're Progressing into an intimacy realm that's a little bit out of your league or something like that So don't get excited and don't get disappointed that keeps you solid keeps you of value So in terms of high energy or low energy you want to have a monot you want to have monopolize your emotions And just the way after this we're going to go out of this formal seminar room we're going to go outside we're going to eat some food and Everyone in here in the room is relaxed and there's nothing to worry about here So you have your emotions monopolized and what is that going to look like you just chilling Get a bite to eat maybe have a beer chat with your friends shake hands it as Men grown men. It's a calm Chill kind of thing a little bit different from chicks who are more excitable and a little bit more fragile when it comes through negative comments So it looks like a calm smooth suave monopolized sense of self But when you're that monopolized it actually makes you kind of bored and boredom inspires mischief basically boredom inspires self amusement and self amusement is very arousing to girls rock stars are extremely self amusing And so bored by their abundance and their monopoly and them being the king of their own reality That they do these silly fucked up things think of the guys from jackass. I love also wild boys They're just crazy and self amusing and they're cool and they're extremely interesting to watch so What it will look like in a bar high energy or low energy is for the most part you're going to be like chilling Enjoying your friends enjoying the opportunity to meet girls the music whatever and then once in a while You're going to get a little bit like yeah, you're expressive or you're like come here. Oh my god. You're fucking beautiful No, not here. We're in a public place You do it to self-amuse knowing and trusting that that's going to be attractive and arousing and engaging and interesting to others And show that you're capable of doing it at any time on your terms because you have the monopoly And the girl's going to have anticipation toward you Okay adds to other guys who are like, I don't want to fuck up Which really it's not a fuck up especially if it's coming from a positive precedent Cool. Let's do one more question before we wrap it up if we have one Do we have a question? We have a question. Yes. How can I apply some of this to my social circle? Uh-huh. Let me ask is your social circle Are you about 22 23 19 19, uh-huh. Okay with your social circle I uh, I don't know because I didn't go to college here in the united states Is it like a college social circle kind of thing nod shake? Okay, gotcha. Okay regular got like party type of scene You can be the kind of guy And think everyone think of a friend of yours Who has integrity who what you see is what you get knows how to simply and purely express himself With that you can be the kind of guy who checks in on everyone and does takeaways from everyone is like Hey, what's going on good to see what's looking good. That's cool. That's awesome appreciative And also being kind of competitive because guy as a guy You need to have that masculine trait as well of like what the fuck's going on here I'm I could drink more than you I can run fast and you I can I'll bench press more than you in three months. Fuck you a bit of a combination of that Know how to make everyone physically comfortable. That's called physical rapport not physical escalation Which can make people defensive and make you look like a player But flicking girls arms around your shoulders Looking after them hiding with them behind them seeking solace away from like the stress of school and family and finance and government And be be the guy who's like consistently nice to everyone with the physicality with the range of emotions And you're the kind of guy who the girls feel comfortable to hang out with late at the end of the night And you're the guy who walks them home to their dorm or their party or whatever and like You need to go in and use the bathroom and then maybe you're giving her a head massage And then maybe you're kissing her on the neck and then maybe we shouldn't do this and maybe you're having sex Okay in the 19 year old age group. It's like chicks are not looking to be paired up in a relationship because it kind of stresses them out instead They they they want to have the intimacy and companionship But not the stress of the title of a relationship. So what I say to my guys who are mostly in australia and europe If you're a 19 year old guy and many guys watching on the internet, you're gonna have Be an easygoing guy very expressive outgoing prone to mistakes, but unapologetic about it And anything happens up to 2 a.m. If you're the one they trust more than anybody else to walk them home Or you walk them home to show you the fuck the ipad or the fish tank or You know samurai fighting fish or what? Asami's fighting fish in a little glass that you can get laid a lot from asami's fighting fish All right. Is there any one last quick question before I wrap it up? It's go time one last quickie Very in a game today. Yeah one more actually follow up to that one. What's the difference then? in the 30s In your 30s. Yes. Actually, it's the same kind of thing but more dapper and more relaxed I am only 29 right now born in 1985. So i'm not and I don't have a 30s social circle But when i'm hanging out with friends Um at we go, you know, you go out for dinner or you have dinner parties and dinner parties turn into We're drinking like seven friends in an apartment. We're drinking around and who's walking who home? kind of thing you want to leave the tension building Not not showing your hand in poker in that sense you want to leave the tension building between the girls you're hanging out with Showing the physicality being a pre like verbally appreciative of them in a way that most guys are scared to do because they fear They're fucking with their value And also kind of calling that challenging them being a little bit competitive But understanding who you're walking home with and who you're making more physically comfortable than others And in social circles, if girls like you and you're not that interested because maybe they're nutritionally undisciplined Knowing how to put your hands behind your back that kind of thing But otherwise it's actually a lot more linear In uh in your 30s because if a chick wants to meet guys in date, they'll do that And uh, if you're not giving away your value or playing these massive Distressing value games in your own head Then you become a very very easy company for chicks and they will definitely seek you out as a guy who they want to spend Time with and have fun with but I would say In your 30s when chicks might you know, you might ask the question I don't want to be put into the provider category. You need to have that streak of madman Streak of crazy and that's like, you know, shaking the beer fucking around not being afraid to be a little bit extroverted And prone to error so the girls know that he's exciting, but he's not there to be controlled and With him comes an element of risk and not provider kind of status Cool guys, cool. This has been a you a new and unique experience for me wraps up my weekend of uh four days working And I am just about to start writing a whole series of books Memoirs about adventures picking up chicks getting in trouble getting arrested getting kicked out of Bulgaria Gangs all crazy cool interesting stuff. So so that's me. It's been really nice to come into this part of the self-help world Rant and rave hopefully give you a unique perspective and hopefully this unique perspective Hasn't fucked around with your paradigm of how you understand your social life But it's added an annex that you're gonna think, okay, that doesn't make total sense I'd like to explore more because it will only kind of blossom and enrich and you'll understand it more now that you see Where we're coming from with our continued Exposure to our free stuff online. So I've gone on for long enough. Thank you so much guys. Thank you, Alex Awesome stuff, man