 Hello and welcome to yet another half term revision video. Now within today's lesson we're going to be looking at unseen poetry and I'll be showing you how to write two model responses to the 2021 unseen poetry question. Okay, so this is the unseen poetry question as it appeared in the 2021 AQA exam. Now remember I mentioned two model answers because you will always have two questions to answer when it comes to unseen poetry. You're going to have 50 minutes and all to do this and in times of time education, in addition to the first 10 minutes which you should spend reading through both poems, then planning your responses for both questions, you should spend roughly around 25 minutes for the 24 marker. Okay, so 24 marker is the first question based on just the first lead poem, then spend around 50 minutes for the eight marker. Okay, so this is the second question where you've got a second poem and then you've got to write two comparative paragraphs for that eight mark question. So let's get started on answering the 2021 unseen poetry exam. So bear in mind for the unseen poetry portion of your exam you're going to have 50 minutes to answer the full exam and let's have a look at the 24 mark question which you should allocate roughly around 25 minutes to as well as the eight mark question, the second comparative question which you should allocate roughly around 15 minutes for. Okay, so aim to write about four paragraphs of the 24 marker and then two paragraphs for the eight marker. The remaining 10 minutes should be spent of course reading through the questions, reading through as well the poems. So always begin by first the getting a lay of the land and reading through both questions and knowing what you're going to look for within both poems. Okay, so the first question which is the 24 marker asks in London thoroughfare at 2am how does the poet present the speaker's feelings about the city at night? Okay, so of course we have a clue in the title that this is probably going to be a poem about London. Okay, and we're told that the speaker seems to have certain feelings towards the city at night. Okay, now let's have a look at the question that comes up for the comparative poem. So we're told that in both November nights of course it's the second poem Edinburgh and a London thoroughfare 2am the speakers describe attitudes towards the city at night. Okay, so there's a theme between both of them. They are describing the writers or the poet's perspectives towards the city at night. What are the similarities and or differences between the methods? The poets used to present these attitudes. Remember that methods relates to language and structure techniques, things like alliteration, metaphor, simile, sibilance, repetition, listing and so on. You need to include techniques for both the 24 marker and the eight marker. So now with that in mind, let's have a read through the first poem London thoroughfare. They have watered the street. It shines in the glare of lamps, cold white lamps and lies like a slow moving river barred with silver and black. Cabs go down at one. Then another between them I hear the shuffling of feet. Tramps doze on the window ledgers. Nightwalkers pass along the sidewalks. The city is squalid and sinister with the silver barred street in the midst. Slow moving a river leading nowhere. So this first verse is really interesting in the sense that London, of course we know that this is the city that's been depicted, is being depicted as quite cold, a little bit dark, dismal and gloomy. So even if it's shining in the glare of these lamps, the lamps seem to be glaring. Also the lamps seem cold. Usually we associate light with warmth but in this case we can see that these lamps and of course we've got repetition here, these lamps seem quite gloomy. So you've got repetition here. And of course as you're reading make sure you're picking out these techniques and we can see that you know London is filled with artificial light but it seems kind of harsh, ugly and unforgiving. Also we're told that tramps which is a politically incorrect way of referring to homeless people. We're told that you know tramps, doze on the window ledgers, so they're sleeping. So there's plenty of homeless people from what we can see here or from the speaker's perspective and also nightwalkers, people walking at night, pass along the sidewalks. So people seem quite isolated and lonely from this first verse. We can see that the different characters who are walking through London streets seem quite alone, a little bit alienated and the city is depicted as quite squalid and sinister. So here we've got these characters that are mentioned, people who are around the city who seem quite alone but then also the use of sibilance here which is a language technique illustrates that London seems quite unwelcoming okay and of course the River Thames seems to be like a river that's leading nowhere. So let's look at the second verse. Opposite my window, the moon cuts clear and round through the plum coloured night. She cannot light the city, it is too bright, it has white lamps and glitters coldly. So here there's a really interesting juxtaposition between nature, the moon that's cutting, clear and round okay so here the moon is quite beautiful. Nature seems to be very very beautiful in contrast to this light that's coming from artificial lamps okay so this is nature and it's quite clear. So this is a really interesting adjective okay and of course we then learn that even if it's trying to light up this city she cannot light the city okay and here the moon is personified as given a female pronoun and it's personified as being unable to brighten up the city and once more what we can see here is that the moon even if nature is trying to cut through London it seems quite distant from the natural landscape that it's set within okay so London still seems to be depicted in a really really negative way. Let's look at the final verse. I stand in the window and watch the moon so the speaker is now injecting themselves and telling us directly what they are doing. She's thin and lusterless but I love her. I know the moon and this is an alien city so here we can see the moon which is juxtaposed to this alien city and we can have assonance being shown being used to emphasise this so assonance of A and we can see here that there's this repetition as well of not even repetition there's a litteration of window and watch and the sense of this window the window is creating a barrier there's a barrier there's something that seems very unwelcoming and also very alienating about this speaker and the city. They seem to be kind of separate and distant from London and of course what we can see here is the feelings towards the city at night actually quite negative okay so it seems like they are very unimpressed with the city at night okay so I would in terms of approaching this 24 marker I'd work through it chronologically and pick out four separate points from the beginning two from the middle and then something from the end as you can see here so before I move on to reading this poem I'm first going to address and tackle this 24 marker and I'm going to show you how you can write a really solid grade nine response using these four points for the 24 mark portion of the unseen poetry question okay so let's go for it so let's have a look at the first paragraph remember all the paragraphs that I write I take the simplified peel paragraph format so starting off with the point evidence explanation and link within my explanation this is where the bulk of your marks are okay that's where the analysis is that's where you can even do zooming in and really focusing in on one word to do some word level analysis so let's have a look at how I structured my first peel paragraph for this 24 marker here's my point firstly it's clear the speaker feels like London is a dismal and gloomy city at night even if it is illuminated with lights the artificial lights seem cold and unnatural that's my opening point as you can see here I've emphasized and I've developed my point so even if the peel paragraph structure seems simple you can actually layer in lots of points within each step okay I've done that with two sentences within my opening point so let's have a look at my evidence the speaker notices the city evidence shines in the glares of lamps cold white lamps that's my evidence I have embedded it now here's my analysis this is where I'm going to add my structure observation so the use of repetition but I'm also going to zoom in and do some word level analysis Lawell which is the author's surname so the poet's surname uses repetition of the noun lamps to convey how forbidding and gloomy London seems now here's my zooming in the adjective cold emphasizes that even if the city is illuminated it still seems dull that's my explanation I've done some word level analysis on top now this is a link back to the question and the key words within the question thus it is evident the speaker sees London as dull and dismal at night so that's my first point in relation to this however I'm not done because this is of course a 24 mark question I need to develop my points so I'm now going to move on to my second peel paragraph so let's have a look at the second peel paragraph this is in relation to tramps night walkers and the idea that the city is squalid and sinister so here's my opening point furthermore the speaker notices that the city at night seems filled with isolated and alienated characters so people who are totally alone everyone seems to be alone in the city at night that's my opening points let's have a look at the evidence the speaker watches the tramps who does so this is my first two bits of evidence as well as the night walkers in the squalid and sinister city okay so I've embedded my evidence it within what I am writing in the first e within my peel paragraph let's have a look at the second e this is the explanation the poet uses sibilance to emphasise how unwelcoming the city seems at night in fact it is both uninspiring and frightening so here I'm talking using I'm emphasising how this language technique really presents the city at night the noun tramps and I'm zooming in focuses our attention on the weakest members of the society and they seem forgotten that's my explanation now let's have a look at the link consequently the city at night is depicted as alienating and incredibly lonely so of course it's not very flattering image of London at night according to this poem so now I'm going to move on to my third point relating to the juxtaposition between the city which seems really horrible squalid whatever but in contrast to nature which is trying to illuminate it but she can't light the city so I'm going to move on to my third paragraph here's my third peel paragraph in relation to how the moon is portrayed in contrast to the city moreover the city at night seems unwelcoming even to nature the moon is portrayed as attempting to heal the city at night yet it cannot illuminate it hence London seems to eclipse nature at night that's my opening point we learned that the moon is clear two bits of evidence so far yet she cannot light the city I've embedded my evidence the poet's use of personification language portrays the moon as a healing woman who simply wants to nurture the city now I'm going to zoom in yet the verb light emphasizes how desolate London is nature cannot redeem it at night okay because she's trying to light up the city as a result now this is my link the city at night seems to be beyond redemption it can't even be saved even by nature so now I'm going to move to my fourth and final peel paragraph relating to how the speaker is by the window watching what's going on and they just still find the city just horrible lonely and unwelcoming in contrast to obviously nature which seems quite welcoming so here's my final peel paragraph finally the speaker seems completely distant and detached from the city at night as they survey it they're looking at it whilst the natural world feels familiar the city feels like a strange place to her that's my opening point okay within this paragraph here's my evidence they stand in the window and watch even if they know the moon they believe this is an alien city okay so I've embedded the uh phrases stand in the window and watch know the moon as well as they believe this is an alien city okay so that's my evidence they stand in the window and watch even if they know the moon they believe this is an alien city so here's my explanation lawel uses alliteration coupled with assonance to convey how the moon is the only beautiful feature of the city at night here's me zooming in nonetheless the adjective alien reveals that the city has very few positive qualities as even nature cannot rescue it that's my explanation so now I'll link it back to the question hence it is clear the speaker detests the city at night she hates it it seems alien and unnatural to her and that's how to write a full model response and a full mark answer to be honest to the 24 mark response make sure you have some structure and language points so now that we're done with the 24 marker let's turn our attention to how to answer and how to approach the eight mark question so of course for this eight mark question you are going to be given a second poem and you've got to compare it to the first poem so of course let's read through this second poem of course we can see here this is a different city edinburgh so let's have a look the night tinkles like ice and glasses so the night is making a little bit of noise leaves are glued to the pavement with frost the brown air fumes at the shop windows tries the doors and slidles sidles past so now there's you know a bit of dark brown air that's crossing across the city a gulp down winter raw so each this person is drinking winter the heady darkness swells with tenements in a brown fuzz of cotton wool lamps fade up crags die in two pits okay so here there's light that's kind of becoming a bit dim within this city frost it's quite cold it's a freezing day in this city in my lungs is as harsh as leaves interesting simile scraped up on parts a look up there a high roof sails at the mast head fluttering a gray and ragged star the world's a bear shrugged in his dense and now here they first begin the first three verses by describing this city at night it's kind of this mix of snow and brownness okay so kind of a little bit of pollution but the city seems to be kind of covered in this layer of snow everywhere and everything is quite cold and here of course this really powerful metaphor is showing that everyone is really really cold and they're hiding away so the world's the world's a bear shrugged in his den it's snug and close in the snoring night and outside like chrysanthemums flowers the fog unfolds it's bitter scent so here we can see the city at night even if it's a little bit polluted it seems like nature has really overtaken everything okay so the speaker also equally seems to be quite overwhelmed a little bit by the cold okay so when i'm addressing and looking at this question what would i look for of course i need to make sure that i'm comparing it to the first poem and you can either talk about similarities and or differences i'm going to go for both now the first interesting difference i would say is here we can see that nature seems to kind of overpower everything even this opening simile shows that the snow has covered everything within this city and of course what this is illustrating is maybe the speaker seems to kind of be kind of overcome and overwhelmed with this weather especially at night this is in contrast to how nature is really powerless here the moon is thin and lusterless okay so of course the moon is sad it's thin this is personification again so the key difference i'll probably focus on is whilst nature overpowers Edinburgh in this instance it's London that seems to overpower the moon and nature however what is the similarity that i can see in both we can see in both poems that the speakers actually seem really overwhelmed okay firstly in this poem we can see a sense of overwhelm within the speaker you know the perhaps overwhelmed by the city itself okay so they notice you know the city is filled with this river leading nowhere this is hyperbole so the speaker seems to be quite overwhelmed by the feeling of alienation however here the similarities that the speaker also seems to be quite overwhelmed however in this instance them drinking winter downroar okay and here there's caesura they seem to be overwhelmed by the cold in this city that would be the key similarity i'd point out okay so of course i'm still going to answer this question i'm going to write two pill paragraphs but it's going to be comparative pill paragraphs so my opening point i'm going to compare poem a and b in my evidence i'm now going to pick evidence from poem a and b and then in my explanation i'm going to talk about techniques from poems a and b and of course link it back to the question with poem a and b and what this shows about the speaker's attitudes towards the city at night so of course i'm now going to move on to question number two in this part of the unseen poetry question and write two comparative pill paragraphs with this eight marker so starting with the first paragraph so here's the first comparative paragraph here's my opening point including both poems to begin with it is evident that both poems have significant differences in the speaker's attitudes towards the cities at night so here it's evident that i'm going to talk about differences lavel the surname of the first poet portrays a city that has eclipsed nature yet macaig second poet their surname describes how nature has overpowered edinburgh at night that's my opening point talking about both poems making consistent comparisons here's my evidence for both poems the moon in london i've just used the main word london and use ellipsis around it it's thin and lustrous yet the night tingles like i second bit of evidence in the second poem that's my evidence for both lavel's use of personifications this is a language technique conveys the speaker's disgust at how london has overpowered the moon in the first poem okay so this is the first technique and explanation for poem number one however macaig's use of simile in the second poem shows how impressed the speaker is with nature which is consumed and covered the city that's my explanation talking about both poems now i'm linking it back again once more making sure that i'm including both poems because i'm consistently comparing thus what's the speaker feels irritated by how nature is eclipsed at night in the first poem the narrator in the second poem seems in awe of how the snow has covered the city at night that is my link talking about both so now i'm just simply going to finish off with my second pill paragraph and that's it i'm done with unseen poetry here is the second peel paragraph including both poems on the other hand it's clear that both speakers seem somewhat overwhelmed in their respective cities at night okay so in london as well as edinburgh the speaker in the world's poem is overwhelmed by a feeling of loneliness yet the narrator macaig's poem is overwhelmed by the city's cold wintery conditions that's my opening point for both here's my evidence the first speaker notes that london it has a river leading nowhere nonetheless the second speaker gulps down winter wrought that's my evidence here's my explanation lavel's use of hyperbole depicts how overwhelmed the speaker is by london as even the river appears despondent and dreary despondent means sad yet macaig's use of caesura conveys how overwhelmed the speaker is by the harsh winter in edinburgh's rugged landscape that's my explanation here's now the link including both poems consequently both speakers seem overwhelmed in the city at night the first speaker is overwhelmed with sentiments of isolation yet the second speaker has overcome with how crisp and cold the city is that's the link for both poems and so that really sums up how to approach and how to write model answers and model responses for both parts of the unseen poetry exam and this is for the 2021 exam paper specifically thank you so much for listening