 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Kenny Baker, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The Orchestra opens a program with That's What We Do Over Here. The Sons of the American Legion, squadron number 241 in Philadelphia, gave an officer's dinner a short time ago, and they sent us one of their main news. Well, here's what topped off the meal. Dessert, a la Jack Benny. Yes, sir, you've guessed it, that was Jell-O. A swell combination of orange, lemon, and lime with that real extra-rich fruit flavor, and covered with whipped cream. Judging from the reports, it made a great hit. And after all, that's not so very surprising because everybody enjoys those six delicious extra-rich flavors, as tempting and refreshing and satisfying as the real ripe fruit itself. And Jell-O's six glowing colors are so bright and gay, they give a festive air to any meal. So when you want to desert the family as sure to welcome, look for those big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O, and Jell-O spells a treat. That's What We Do Over Here, played by The Orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, Jack Benny and Phil Harris are busy working on a new Paramount Picture Man About Town and will not be here today. So in the meantime, Kenny and I are going to carry on and try to entertain you with songs and jokes. And I'm sure that we'll all have a good time. I got a sweet little headache. I was out late last night. I've been out celebrating since Jell-O has won that fight. Rochester. I got a sweet little headache. Rochester, cut that out. This dressing room is no place for a serenade. And furthermore, I wish it helped me get dressed. I'm chilly standing here in my underwear. You shouldn't be as long enough. Rochester, the only reason I'm wearing this kind of underwear is to fill my legs out. So no comments. What are you going to wear today, boys? Well, the scene is a very formal dinner party in an English mansion. So give me my full dress suit. The one you bought outright? Yeah, that's the new one. Get it for me, I want to try it on. OK, here's the pants. Hold steady, boys. Careful now, don't get them wrinkled. I won't have time to get them pressed. There you are. Yeah. Say, these trousers are beautiful, aren't they? Yeah, but they're too long. Shall I roll them up, tuck them in, or snip them a little? Leave them alone. I'll pull them up. Let me try on the coat and see how that is. Here you are, boys. Thanks. Say, the coat's a little big, too. Mr. Benny? Mr. Benny, where are you? I'm right in here, Rochester. Don't get excited. Pull the collar down and give me some air. It'll be all right. Doggone it, I need a back collar button. I forgot to bring some. I'll go next door and borrow one from Phil Harris. See, here comes Claudette Colbert. Hello, Claudette. Who is it? Jack Benny, darn this suit. Well, here's Phil's dressing room. Look at that corny gold star on the door. How do you do, sir? Oh, pardon me, I've got the wrong room. I'm looking for Phil Harris. These are his quarters. Whom shall I see his calling, please? Jack Benny, I came to borrow a collar button. I'm very sorry, sir. I can't disturb Mr. Harris. He's in a mood. He's in a what? In a mood. He's studying his part. Well, I hate to break the spell, but tell him Prince Charming is here and he'd like to borrow a collar button. I'm terribly sorry, sir, but Mr. Harris is fiercely temperamental, isn't he? Elkins, Elkins I say. Hmm, Elkins. Stop that dreadful chattering. Who is it anyway? It's a gentleman about a collar button, sir. Well, buy a couple and send him away. Now, wait a minute, Phil. It's me, Jack. Roper or Benny? Benny, Roper isn't up yet. Oh, hello, Jack. I didn't see you in that suit. Oh, you didn't. Well, if you want to know something, the suit was imported from England. Oh, heaven forbid. I wasn't talking to you. Hey, Phil, I need a collar button. Have you got one? I think so. Elkins, have we a collar button we can lend Mr. Benny? Well, can he be trusted, sir? Don't worry. I'll leave a deposit. Say, Phil, this is a lovely dressing room. Well, gee whiz, have you got a shower bath? I sure have. Well, it's very ritzy, Phil. I don't know how you rate this. Tea is served, Mr. Harris. Thanks, Elkins. I'm famished. Tea? My goodness. What are those, crumpets? No, that's cornpone. Mr. Harris. I say, Mr. Harris, doots on it. That I can understand. Tea and cornpone, what a combination. Mr. Benny, will you have your tea in a cup or in a saucer? Just bring it. How I drink it is my own business. And where's my collar button? A collar button, sir? Oh, never mind. I'll use a thumbtack. I'm getting out of here. See you on the set, Lord Harris. How'd he ever get a dressing room like that? More politics around here. Well, here's my room. Oh, pardon me. I've got the wrong dressing room. I wish they put my name on my door. Oh, here it is. Say, boss, I was just coming to get you, Miss Livingston's here. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. I thought I'd come down and watch you work. Have you got a big scene today? Well, it's not so big, Mary, but it's very emotional and calls for every dramatic trick at my command. You see, it's pathos, yet mingled with comedy. And at a certain point, I have to make a transition that will convince the audience of my sincerity and complete domination. Oh, brother. Well, just wait, and you'll see some real acting. Say, Mary, how do you like my new full dress suit? I'm kind of dolled up, ain't I? Yes, top hat, white tie, and tent. Well, I'll grant you, this suit is a little roomy, but I like freedom in my clothes. Well, you certainly got it. You could ring the Liberty Bell in there. That's a good one, Miss Livingston. You stay out of this, end man. Anyway, I've got other things in my mind. I just came from Phil's dressing room, and I don't know why Paramount gives him a better one than mine, while there's no comparison. Oh, it's your own fault, Jack. Why don't you fight for things once in a while? This room is terrible. Yeah, I'm ashamed to invite my friends here. Well, that's too bad. I'm just worried sick about that. Well, there isn't a chair in the room with over three legs. Then look at that big hole in the floor. That hole? Well, I'm really to blame for that. We thought there was oil under here. All right, Rochester, just for telling, I'm going to kick you right out of the syndicate. But you're right, Mary, I'm going to do something about this. Rochester, get Mr. Hornblow on the phone. OK, boss, give me a nickel. Here, and that's another thing. Everybody else has a free telephone. This thing has gone just about far enough. Oh, you're always talking, but you never do anything. I don't. I'll find out in a minute just how I stand around here. I can tell you now and save you a nickel. Is that so? Here you are, boss. Give me that phone. Hello, Mr. Hornblow. This is Jack Benny. Yes, it's me again. Now look, Mr. Hornblow, I've been at Paramount for a long time, and I think I ought to have a new dressing room. I know, but how come Phil Harris has a shower bath and I have to wash in the fire bucket? Why, twice this week, the brigade snatched it right from under me. I know, but Phil Harris, but Phil, but, but, but. Here we go again, folks. Quiet. What? But look, Mr. Hornblow, I don't want to stay in this dressing room. I haven't got anything to sit on. Oh, that's very fun. Now look, Mr. Hornblow, here's what I want. I want new chairs, a shower bath, Venetian blinds, a floor lamp. Roller skates. Roller skates. Mary, I'm not talking to Sandy Claws. What's that? Well, thank you. Thank you very much, Mr. Hornblow. I'll appreciate that. Goodbye. Well, that's more like it. Gee, Jack, are you going to get all that stuff? Only the roller skates, but it's a beginning. Hey, Rochester, tune in the radio. I want to see what they're doing on our program. I can't, the dial's all rusty. Well, use the pliers like I do. He never knows what to do. I got it. And here's another one, ladies and gentlemen. Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a dish of jello. He stuck in his spoon and started to croon J-E-L-L-O. Well, that's very cute. So you see, folks, you too can be happy with this tempting dessert. It comes in six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. Wilson is having a Roman holiday there. And now, folks, Kenny Baker, our popular young tenor, will sing, what's it going to be, Kenny? I'm going to sing a number called Strange Enchantment from Paramount's new picture, Man of Outtown, starring Bill Harris. What? You heard me. Wait till I get my hands on him. Like sandalwood, the magic of this oriental gnaw, and blue. Strange Enchantment sung by Kenny Baker. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we will have some more of my original nursery rhymes. Jack and Phil went up the hill to get a dish of jello. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Harris laughed like anything. Turn off the radio, Mary. OK. I think she's cute. And I'm plenty burned up about Kenny Baker. Imagine him saying, man, about town, starring Phil Harris. Phil, I should put him up to that. Yeah. You know, Mary's discussing the way Phil tries to steal every scene in the picture. He's always doing something to draw attention away from me. Well, you don't have to worry today with that suit you've got on. Yes, if I can remember to keep my head out. Starring Phil Harris. I'm starring in that picture with Dorothy Lamour. And another thing, if Phil doesn't stop telling Dorothy that I've got asthma, I'm going to have him thrown right off this lot. No kidding. Did he tell Dorothy you've got asthma? Yes. Now, every time I do a passionate love scene with her, she feels sorry for me. I'll get even with that guy. Hey, boys, here's your makeup, man. My makeup, man? Oh, yes. Hello, Twinkle. Hello, Mr. Benny. Are we ready for our daily tussle with Father Time? I suppose so. Then tuck this towel around your neck, and let's get going. OK. And, Twinkle, don't put so much makeup on my chin. Yesterday, you buried my dimple. I did? Yes, and everybody was asking for it. So be careful. Say, Jack, don't you think you ought to darken your hair a little bit at the temple? Mary, I'm not ashamed of the color of my hair. I'm prematurely grayed. You've been saying that for 35 years. Well, I was frightened when I was a baby. Oh, Twinkle, I think you ought to pluck my eyebrows a little. They've been growing like mad lately. OK. Say, boys. What is it, Rochester? Are you in the mood to reopen our monetary discussion? Rochester, if you're referring to that $10, I bet you, on the Louis Roper fight, I do not owe it to you. Well, Louis knocked Roper out, didn't he? Not entirely. Roper went down, but he started to get up. Man, can't you tell the difference between getting up and bouncing? You can talk all you want, Rochester, but you're not getting the $10. Oh, why don't you pay, Mr. Benny? You stay out of this. Who do you think you are, Chamberlain? Just keep making me up. That's all you're supposed to do. I never say anybody like you, Jack. You're always welching on bets. I am not. Anyway, Rochester will get his $10. I'm going to buy him that new vacuum cleaner he wants. Who wants? You wants and keep still. More arguments about money around here. Ouch! Twinkle, watch those tweezers. You're awfully nervous today, aren't you? Well, you'd be nervous, too, if your wife had twins last night. Oh, well. Well, that's marvelous. Congratulations. Oh, it was nothing. Well, that is news. Hey, Jack, look in the mirror and get a load of your face. What's the matter with it? Oh, well, I'll be darned. Twinkle, what did you do before you became a makeup man? I used to decorate Chinaware. Well, take those rose buds off my cheeks. I'm not a teacup. Why don't you concentrate on what you're doing, Twinkle? See, my face is a mess. What are you laughing at? Twinkle stinkles. That's what I say. Hiya, Jack. Hello, Mary. Hello, Kenny. Oh, it's you, Kenny. Why aren't you at NBC with Don? Oh, I got tired of his old nursery rhyme, so I thought I'd come and watch you shoot a scene. Is it all right? Sure, Kenny, but how'd you get through the gate? I told him I was your business manager. Oh, fine. So now you're my business manager. Mr. Bigger, can I have a word with you? Rochester, forget about that $10. My goodness. Say, Jack, are you going to shoot a big scene today? Well, it's not so big, Kenny, but it's very emotional and calls for every dramatic trick at my command. You see, it's pathos yet mingled with comedy. And at a certain point, I have to make a transition that will convince the audience of my sincerity and complete domination. Yes, sir. See, this is a crummy dressing room. Kenny asked me a question, so I answered it. Incidentally, I heard that announcement you made of your song. What about it? You know what? I'm the star of the picture, not Phil Harris. Well, he told me you were playing the part of a janitor. Oh, he did, eh? Well, it so happens that I'm a lover in this picture, and I'm talking to Dorothy Lamour all the time. Bet you're leaning on a broom. Nothing, I'm carrying a cane, a beautiful ebony cane with a silver handle on one end and a nail on the other. I knew you were going to say that. I knew it, I knew it. A janitor, eh? A janitor. Wait till I see Harris on the set. I'll give him a piece of my mind. They're all ready to be on the set, Mr. Benny. OK, come on, kids, they're waiting for me. All ready to shoot the scene. I'm going to rush ahead. Rochester, you bring my cane. OK. Don't stick yourself. See you on the set, kids. Shall I bring the dustpan? That belongs here. I'm not a janitor. So long. Gee, I hope I'm not late. Hey, pretty boy, I want to see you a minute. What's on your mind, Droopy? Listen, Phil, did you tell Kenny that I was playing the part of a janitor in this picture? Yeah, but I just did that for a rib. That's all I want to know. You and I are through, Phil. I don't want to talk to you again. Now, wait a minute, Jack, it was just a gag. Who'd ever believe you were playing the part of a janitor? Plenty of people. From now on, we're no longer friends. Come on, Mary, I want to talk to Mr. Sandridge, the director. Where's Kenny? Over there on Dorothy Lamour's lap. Oh, yes. And there's Edward Arno. Now, look, there's Benny Barnes, too. She's beautiful, isn't she? Oh, you think every blonde is beautiful? I do not. Name one. Nelson Eddy. So there. The blonde, if I ever saw one. Anyway, I think Benny Barnes is simply gorgeous. Hello, Benny. Hello, Benny. He's very witty, too. Hey, Rochester. Rochester. Quiet, quiet on the set. That assistant director is always showing off. You can't even say boo around here. Boo? Hey, you, quiet. See, what a fresh guy. Did you call me boss? Yes, where were you? I was over in the corner acclimating Mr. Harris's butler. I'm teaching him Central Avenue ping pong. Rochester, I told you not to bring those dice to this studio. Now throw them out. Not unless somebody feeds me. Don't be so stubborn. Hey, Jack, look at Kenny. Where? Now he's on Benny Barnes's lap. Yeah, that kid sure gets around. Kenny, come here. OK. Hey, you, quiet on the set. Darn that guy. Look, Mary, here comes Mark Sandrich, the director. Hello, Jack. Hello, Mr. Sandrich. Say, I'd like you to meet Mary Livingston. Oh, how do you do, Miss Livingston? I'm glad to see you. Now, why don't you smile? Mary. And Mr. Sandrich, this is Kenny Baker. Hello. Well, young man, are you having a good time here on the set? Am I? I'm going to my third lap now. You'll stay right here with us. Well, Jack, we're about ready to rehearse the scene in Lady Trumbly's drawing room. Oh, then Miss Barnes and Miss LaMoure aren't working today. No, they just came for the last. Oh. And incidentally, Jack, when you shoot the scene today, don't look right into the camera. You're not posing for a tin type. OK, I'll be careful. Well, let's get started. Lady Trumbly, Theodore, and Milford. Mary, Phil is Theodore, and I'm Milford. I got a better name than he did. All right, let's have one rehearsal, then we'll shoot it. Why rehearse? I know my part. Quiet, quiet on the set. Oh, shut up. That guy drives me nuts. Quiet, quiet. Now, Lady Trumbly, you sit here on the devan. Yes, sir. And Theodore, you sit beside her. OK, pal. Pal, you hear that, Mary? And Milford, you sit over there on the ashtray. Fine, I'll look like a Rube Goldberg cartoon. Great place to sit. All right, let's start the scene. Everybody ready? I'm ready, let's go. Take it, Phil. You have the lovely place here, Lady Trumbly. Oh, I'm glad you like it, Theodore. You know Reggie used to visit here quite often. Ah, good old Reggie. I say, is he still at Monte Carlo? No, he's been at Beirut since he and Evelyn split up. Split up? My word. But then Reggie always was a bounder. No, I think it was Evelyn's fault. She's a terribly stuffy person. Nonsense, my dear. Reggie's a cad, and you know it. Oh, how can you say that? Well, Reggie has been terribly abused. Don't you think so, Milford? You said it, sister. Stop it, stop it. Now, what's the matter? Shaq, you don't call a title English lady sister. You just have three words. You said it. Gee, Mr. Sandler, I was just trying to make it more emphatic. That's all? Well, don't be adding to your part. Film doesn't grow on bushes, you know. Oh, all right. Now, let's take it once more. And Theodore, I think it'd be a little better if you defend Reggie instead of Lady Trumblay. It's more believable that way. OK, Mark. Say, why can't I defend Reggie? Quiet, quiet on the set. Oh, sure. Say a word here, anyway. Oh, get out of here, Mary. Stop laughing. Now, let's run through it once more. Remember the change? OK, let's go. You have a lovely place here, Lady Trumblay. I'm glad you like it, Theodore. You know, Reggie used to visit here quite often. Shaq! My throat was dry, for goodness sake. Good old Reggie. I say, is he still at Monte Carlo? Oh, no. He's been at Beirut since he and Evelyn split up. Split up? My word. Jeepers creepers. Shaq, Shaq, what's the matter with you? Well, I want to say something. I'm an actor, not a sphinx. Now, you've got enough to do, so be satisfied. Continue, Lady Trumblay. I don't blame Evelyn. Reggie always was a bounder. No, I think it was Evelyn's fault. She's a terribly stuffy person. Nonsense, my dear. Reggie's a cad, and you know it. Oh, how can you say that? Poor Reggie's been a terribly abused boy. Don't you think so, Milford? Puff. Don't you think so, Milford? Yeah. Far heaven's sake, Shaq. Why don't you answer, Phil? We're not speaking. That's why. Shaq, we're trying to make a picture. I can't be annoyed with your personal affairs. Well, I can't be annoyed with answering Phil Harris. Whose picture is this, anyway? Quiet, quiet on the stand. Oh, yeah? Well, I'm going to punch you right in the nose. You would, you brute. Fine cooperation I'm getting on this picture. Come on, Mary, I'm going home. No, wait a minute, Shaq, don't get excited. Excited? Now, look, Mr. Sandler, I've been studying this scene for these days. I know it isn't a big part, but it's very emotional. It calls for every dramatic trick I know. You see, it's pathos, yep, mingled with comedy. And a certain point, I must make a transition that will convince the audience of my sincerity and complete domination. Now, if you think you can get somebody else to do that, go ahead and get Barrymore. I'm leaving. Rochester, give me my top hat and cane. Sorry, boss, the dice will get me. Oh, that's all I need. You said it. That's my line. Come on, let's get out of here. Quiet, quiet on the stand. Oh, nuts. I bet that all of you women have said to yourselves, I don't believe there is anything new to have for dessert. Well, ladies, I'm glad to say that you're wrong. And here's the proof. It's the new jello butterscotch pudding, rich with true butterscotch flavor, the kind you've loved since you were a youngster. It's creamy and mellow, and it has a delicate, golden, taffy color that really makes you hungry just to look at it. Jello butterscotch pudding has that old-fashioned homemade goodness, a marvelous flavor and texture, why it all but melts right in your mouth. Then try jello chocolate pudding, rich and smooth and real chocolatey, the kind your family loves. And a jello vanilla pudding, delicate and creamy, so tempting to look at that you know that you have a real treat. All three new jello puddings are made with fine, wholesome ingredients. They're quick and easy to prepare. You'll find the simple directions on every package. Why don't you buy three packages at a time? Ask your grocer tomorrow for jello butterscotch, chocolate and vanilla pudding, the real homemade kind. This is the last number of the 30th program in the new jello series, and we will be with you again next Sunday night. But I'd like to announce, folks, that Daylight Saving Time goes into effect over some of these stations next week. So if your community is affected, don't forget the change. Say, Jack, what's Daylight Saving Time? Well, you see, Mary. I know, it's pathos yet mingled with comedy and calls for every dramatic trick at your command. That's not it at all. Good night, folks. Next week, Daylight Saving Time goes into effect in many places. With this result, there will be a change in time for this program on some of these same stations. Consult your local newspaper for the time on your stations. Kenny Baker appears on the jello program for courtesy of Mervyn and Roy Productions, the part of Mark Sandwich was played tonight by Russell Hicks. This is the National Broadcast Inc.