 Welcome back. Welcome back. This is still why in the morning, before we took that break, we were talking about Maras Konsaning, self-discipline. It's Maras Konsaning, your career. This is Career Talk. My name is Ram Maguko, if really just joining us. We are coming from a short break and I'm with Apostle John Nesila. He's a counsellor and mentor, pastor. The church is called Healing and Hope Church International. Healing and Hope Church. He's the best man to talk about Maras Konsaning, self-discipline. Now pastor, before we went on that break, we were talking about Maras Konsaning, your background. Yes, your background. Where you're coming from. Yes, that is very important. Very important. Now I want to find out from you. Yes. Regardless of where I come from. Yes. You know, I got a bit confused there. When you said that it is not easy to change someone, but it is a little bit. It is possible, a little bit. A little bit possible. How can someone develop a new style or new sense of discipline when the one they have is hazardous for themselves and is making them lose so many opportunities? First of all, I have told you, somebody must be in a teaching. After being taught, he takes an action to forgive him or herself. So, when you forgive yourself, you can have an ability to forgive others. And that is called mindset ailing. Because what is affecting, displaying, character and behavior is our mindset. And that's why in our church, I have a program that is called true mind ailing. True mind ailing is to talk to somebody so that he may or she may understand the life that he or she is living is not good. So he has to change. And that one comes after somebody, understand that she is living or is living an era life. And now make a personal decision that I am going to change. Praise the living God. Amen. Amen. And making a decision of how you are going to change your life, you must be shown a way. After being taught how to change. Now after changing, which way are you going to follow? Even the time you went to school, you were taught how to write. And that's why you went to sit in the exam without a teacher. So after taking a youth and you teach him about the display and the good character and good behavior, now show him after this what are you supposed to do so that you may have a good character, a good display so that you may never repeat such a mistake. The mindset. Mindset. Mindset. Mindset. Mindset has a very big role to a youth. Most of the youth are being affected because their mindset were changed by the influence of friends, influence of media because in the media we find so many things. That is the place our youth we get influence to so many things. We get influence, we lose our focus, we enter into immorality, we enter into drugs. We enter to do so many things that is affecting the life of the youth. Pasta, you are talking about forgiving. Yes, forgiving. Self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness. How can that be achieved? Somebody is struggling with the pain of what they did, the pain of what happened to them and it's affecting their discipline at work, it's affecting their performance, it's affecting their interaction. Yes. It's so painful that they hate themselves and they believe that they can never mount to anything. It's affecting the discipline and you're saying it and I'm wondering how can someone forgive themselves when they hate what they did. Most of all I have told you, you need to have a mentor, somebody with knowledge and understanding. You said we need to have a mentor, somebody who can show you the way. Show you the way because somebody who shows the way must live according to the way and must be ready to show you the way. Okay. So if I mentor you after you understand your problem, you understand what you identify, your obstacle, your problem, what you have been passing through. Now you will realize the life I have been living is not a good life. So what I have to do is to change my life and changing your life that is a self forgiveness. You forgive yourself. You say I will never go to drugs again because I was taking drugs because I see my foundation is never allowing me to move forward, I've been hurt, I've been assaulted, that's why I've made this decision. Now after being told now you make a personal decision that you forgive yourself and after forgiving yourself according to the way you are being told by your mentor you choose a goal. Set goals for yourself. You set a goal as a youth. Now this is what I'm going to do because I have changed. My mind has changed. I have forgiven myself. Now this is the life now I'm going to live. And that's where things get touch sticky. Yes, they just want to achieve but they do not have goals. Youth has desires. I desire this and I desire that but they do not have set goals for themselves. First of all I beg you, why 254? Because you are going to change millions and millions of youth through this program. Amen. Praise the living God. Amen. Because what the youth are lacking is mentors. People to mentor them. Even if you like to mentor them today maybe you could have been somewhere else doing other things. But because you said and assembled and he mentor you that's why you are here and you are telling me now you are serving in the church. There are so many youth you are in school with but nowhere to be found. Because what they like is to mentor them. A youth to change and to choose a goal must be under somebody who is ready to mentor that person. So that he may understand himself or herself so that he can make a goal. You can't make a goal while your mind is affected. While you have never forgiven yourself and that's why we lack discipline. You find in our family we can't do what we are supposed to do. In our locality we can't do what we are supposed to do. In our working place we can't do what we are supposed to do. Because we were not meant that and our minds are affected. Especially in our family that we come from. Youth are totally matched by parents. Some other youths why do they lose discipline? Because you find in the family there is a lot of chaos. Father is fighting with the mother. So you see there is no unit in the family. So what will you use? Hadas are being changed from the family. What are they going to use? What are they going to do? And you are here telling them to be self-disciplined yet where they come from. Where they come from there is chaos. There is chaos. Parents are fighting. In the Book of Lamentation Chapter 5 the Bible says our fathers sinned and are not there. But we have taken their sins. Sins of our fathers. In fact I may say the root cause of losing the behavior is from our home ground. So if somebody, if a youth is going to lose a mentor and somebody within the knowledge understanding on how to change somebody then youth is not ready to change. Because there is no one who is showing them the direction. We need mentors. We need men of God. We need men to stand. Now with the youth. How can a youth stand when their home is falling? You can change them. First of all to teach him how to forgive himself. Not to connect him for herself with the family chaos, with the family chaos. To understand he was born in this house for a purpose. And there is life even without parents. So even if things are not okay at home you are saying somebody can rise from their ashes. Even right now in my church I have 13 boys there. Not that they don't have parents. They have parents. But the parents separated. And I came to find them. They were chased away from the family. And I took them back to school. I told them how to have a good character and forget about the life they were living whatever they were facing in the family. And I have tried to change them. Now others are in school. Others are in... I think the first one now is in Chuka University. The other one is... There is a school there called Kangoro. He is in Form 4. There are so many boys that I have changed. Others they were taking these drunks in the street. And I have to them. They have understood themselves. They have forgiven themselves. They understand there is life even after this. And they have chosen their goal. What about somebody who hasn't been chased from home? Ajafkuzwa? Ajafkuzwa Nyubani. Lakin ni kuna shida Nyubani. Kuna shida Nyubani. Kuna shida Nyubani. How can such a person develop self discipline regardless of that chaotic background and hostile environment? That's why I have told you. You have to teach anybody first to forgive. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself. And after forgiving yourself, now say the goal. If there is chaos in your family, now take a position. You will say, I am the one now to change my family. I am the one now to change. Because now you have a goal and you are in a place where there is no goal. Now you take a position to change your family because you have a goal. And they must see a good character in you so that you can change your family. You can't tell them to change. And yet they don't see good discipline. They don't see good character. You have to change yourself. After forgiving yourself and you set a goal, now they will see what you are doing. They say, now this somebody has changed. And we can follow that person. But without setting a goal, without identifying the root cause of your problem, you can't change your discipline. Now, as we talk about what you can and cannot do, there are some things that are above our powers, that are above us. There are some conflicts that come to us without us desiring or going for them. And here I am talking about those who have gone through abuse. Abuse in the family. Abuse in the family. Physical abuse. Sexual abuse. Emotional abuse. Those who have gone through neglect. We want them to develop their own sense of self discipline. How can they do that? Those who have gone through such things that they do not want or go for, but it came for them. It came for them. They found themselves in that situation. In that situation. First of all, you have to identify the problem. Identify the problem. Identify the source of that lacking discipline. And then you look somebody who can teach you the ways to have good discipline. Because I have told you, for you to change yourself is not easy. You need somebody to show you the way. Again I repeat, what we are lacking in our country Kenya are the people to mend our youth. Because the challenges that we are facing that makes us to lack discipline is influenced by something else. It has its own source. And others are not assorted in the family. In discipline we are influenced by friends. You find somebody, he was not changed in the family. He was raised well. He was given everything by the parents. But by the influence of the friends. You find that somebody lacks discipline. That's why I have told you, if somebody is not going to realize himself and identify the problem where he has gone astray and make a decision to forgive him or herself and make a goal that somebody can never change in the discipline. Okay. So this somebody must be ready to sit down, be mended, understand him, change ourselves and have a true mind healing. True mind healing. After you have that true mind healing now you forgive yourself and you make a goal. Now this is the life now I am going to live. And now, after now deciding how to change how to change your discipline, replace that thing, replace what you are doing with something else. If you are going to be haido, if you are going to be jobless, if you are not doing anything then you are able to go back to the same discipline. But if you replace that bad character with something else then you will find yourself you have started a good a good genre of life with a good discipline and a character behaviour. So you have to replace it. So here we are talking about now somebody for you to develop self discipline and grow as an individual. Develop a daily routine. Develop a self-care system for yourself. Right? I will talk about these daily routine and self-care system. I just want you to just highlight for somebody who is watching it today what are some of these things that we can engage in? Maybe on a seasonal or seasonal moment or for some period that builds our self-discipline. You have talked about routine developing something a self-care system. Some of these things that youths can engage in that build discipline. First of all to build the discipline over youth youth must find a motivation. Must find find your motivation. Find your motivation. What motivates you, what inspires you. What inspires you, what motivates you. Also that one can change you. The things that push you to become the best version of yourself. Find your motivation the place where you feel that you are comfortable. Because I have told you what is affecting most of our youth is our mindset through the influence of other people. So if we don't find if you have a youth don't find the motivation you will find that the discipline is not to be changed. But if you find something that inspires you that you like that you feel you are comfortable with that one also can change your discipline. It's important to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself. Finding something that is going to inspire you. Yes. I want us to bring this discussion to a close. I want you to talk to youths watching you today. Have a final word. What is your parting shot? That is your camera. Directly to them as we bring this conversation to a close. Yes. Okay. First of all, I identify the youth especially I can say this one is affecting the youth between 13 years to 25 years. That's the area most of the youth are being affected. So I identify the youth especially in our country Kenya. For you to have a good discipline for you to have a good behavior for you to have a good character first we have to forgive ourselves so that we may forgive others. And number two we set a goal for our life. Not to be into not to go to a places where where things are not favoring ourselves. We make a goal and choose a goal and move according to the goal. Number three we aside youth find your motivation. Find your motivation. Find your motivation. Be inspired. Number four replace the discipline that you had the character that you had replace it with something else that is benefiting your life. Yes. Thank you so much Apostle. That's Apostle John Silla youth counselor mentor and pastor from Healing and Victory. Thank you so much Apostle for coming. I appreciate it. Keep doing what you're doing. Keep changing lives out there. Thank you. Now that presents the end of this discussion right here. It has been matters concerning self discipline right on why in the morning matters concerning career talk. Hope you've learned something. Hope you're going to change on something. I sure have loved this particular discussion looking forward to having more with Apostle. And of course thank you so much to everybody that has been tuned in. Let's take a short break. We'll be back with more right here on why in the morning.