 Often in a bid to protect ourselves from hurts and disappointments, we lie to ourselves. However, many of the things you tell yourself aren't real and there is a good chance you've bought into some unhealthy beliefs over the years. In this video, I will share with you nine lies to stop telling yourself. 1. I am not good enough Everyone believes this lie at one time or another. Whether you think you're not smart enough, attractive enough or ambitious enough, assuming you don't measure up, can wreck havoc on your self-worth and performance. If you're convinced you're not good enough, chances are you won't try to be the best of you. You won't put in effort and the work needed to create your dream life. Often, the reason why you feel like you're not good enough is that someone else thinks so, not because it is factual. But then again, even though everyone around you tells you that you are not good enough, the words have no much effect on your life until you start believing it as well. There is a difference between improving the person you are to be the best that you can be, a lifetime journey and not being enough as a human being. And the truth is that you are more than enough. You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful and you deserve every good thing. It only starts with believing it before you can live it. 2. I am okay Telling yourself that you are okay is great, but you should not let this prevent you from making a change in your life. Although lying to yourself that you are okay might not be a deliberate lie, you probably do not understand that there is a need for you to step into another level in your life. Thus, being okay can be in terms of the different phases of life you are in. However, you may also tell yourself that you are fine when you know deep down that all is not well with you. Your decision to lie to yourself about being okay might be as a result of the fact that you want to fake it until you make it, but self-deceit is worse than not being okay. Rather than hide under the shadow of the phrase fake it until you make it, it is much better to face every situation head on until you make it. 3. I have to be perfect You are allowed to make mistakes. No one born on earth is above errors, be it little ones, big ones or even mistakes. No one else sees. You can't hold yourself to a standard of perfection and also expect to live a life that is free from unnecessary stress. Many people like to make themselves believe that they have to be perfect in everything they do. Cringing at yourself for not being perfect at something will only kill your morale. We all have the potential to be the best at anything and we damn can't be pretty good at just about everything. However, we are humans and as such cannot be perfect. According to American speaker and author, perfection is an enemy of progress. American entrepreneur Tim Ferriss says perfection is impossible to achieve. Thus, it will be best to stop telling yourself that you have to be perfect and start working towards excellence. 4. I don't care what others think or say about me. Many of us are guilty of this lie. We try to tell ourselves that we are not bothered about other people's opinion about us. When deep down, we are worried about people's thoughts about us. The truth is that as long as we are around people, there is no way we can go through our daily activities without considering what people would think or say. Believing that you don't care is a delusion that limits you from doing the things we want to do more than admitting that you care. A better way to go through life is to accept that of a truth the opinion of other people matters to you but is not the sole determiner of what you should do or not do. 5. No one understands me. One statement that many individuals make when they have issues with other people is, I am being misunderstood. But there is a difference between being misunderstood and being outrightly tricky. In most cases, you are the one being difficult. A lot of people know you better than you think. You may feel that there is another layer of yourself that no one knows but ask yourself why that is. Are you forthcoming or do you hide things or are you a difficult person who never sees their faults? Often, with this misunderstood feelings come a tendency to keep the mystery going and shroud some of the more intimate parts of yourself. Is it that no one understands you or is it that you are not showing yourself? For fear of vulnerability, you may feel comfortable and shielded when you withdraw but you should not lie to yourself that this challenging feeling is because others don't understand you. 6. I have to avoid negative feelings at all costs. We have all heard the idea that life is about balance but living a balanced life is a pretty much tricky thing for many individuals to do because they lie to themselves that they are not supposed to feel any negative emotion. How can you live a balanced life if you don't let yourself experience complicated feelings every once in a while? Indeed, life will present situations in which those down feelings are appropriate. Guarding yourself against them every time could hinder you from growing and feeling even killed. You don't have to be scared or run away from these negative emotions, they make a balanced life. Even worse, the things you sweep under the rug could come back more robust in the future. Don't be afraid to let yourself feel hurt, sad, anxious or angry sometimes. It's healthy to handle both sides of the emotional spectrum in moderation. 7. Freedom will come when I am independent. One terrible mistake that many individuals make is equating independence to liberty. No doubt, everyone seems to be in a freedom hunt. Indeed, it feels lovely when we can be self-sufficient. However, you are searching for freedom. Don't set your sights on achieving it through independence. Freedom is more about relieving yourself from self-defeating thoughts than not being controlled by someone else. In the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey narrates the story of a man who found his freedom while he was in prison. According to Covey, our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us. We all need someone to lean on every once in a while, so an opening up yourself to people you can trust can be even more freeing than acting independently. Relying on others for some things does not equate with weakness or entrapment. It makes you human and allows you to forge strong relationships. 8. I will be happy if I had money There is a notion held by a lot of people that when they have money, they will be happy. Well, while money makes life more comfortable, it's not a ticket to happiness. It is when you live happily that you will be able to make money. Studies have shown that happiness and income are only correlated up to a salary of roughly $70,000 per year. That means that millionaires are not happier than those that make $70,000 annually. If you can pay your bills each month, money isn't limiting your happiness. The only thing restraining you from being happy is your mindset. The lies you are telling yourself that you will be pleased if you only had plenty of money. And the words of Chinese philosopher Lao Zhu, if your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy. 9. I don't have a choice Have you ever heard someone say, I did this or did that because I did not have a choice? A lot of people make this statement when they make bad decisions. They blame their choices on the lie that they don't have a choice. But the truth is that we all have an unlimited number of options available to us at any time. You might not feel brave or capable enough to consider them all, but you do have options. If you sincerely think what advice you would give a friend in a similar situation or determine what your most capable friend will do, you will observe that there are genuinely enough choices for you to choose from. So, you have been lying to yourself all along by saying, I do not have a choice. Letting go of beliefs you cling to and reframing your unhealthy thoughts isn't always easy. But if you must move forward in life, you must give up those lies you tell yourself.