 Great relationships are difficult to build and they typically take a lot of time. You can't have one by waving a wand over people. It is really not that simple. Relationships require a strong commitment and time and emotional investment over some time. People who desire to have relationships with others are kind and open-minded. They are also very patient. People make mistakes from time to time. If you are not patient, no one can write of something that could have become a very fulfilling relationship over something that wouldn't even matter in a couple of days, are you currently in any relationship? Some behaviors strengthen already existing relationships and some can weaken the same. If you have a knack for telling lies, you would probably not last in a relationship over someone honest. In this video, I am going to share with you 9 behaviors that destroy relationships. 1. Chronic lying. It goes without saying that all liars are doomed to mistrust from people they care about and everyone else in general. Your relationship should not be lying to people. The trouble with lying even once is that if you are found out, it will call into question even the true things you said. It will make you always defend what you say and you would never truly be free from suspicion. Lying can operate the foundation of every relationship which is trust. Where there is no trust, there is really no relationship. If you want to keep your relationship, be honest, it will surprise you how accommodating people can be. If only you are honest with them, everyone has one thing or the other that bothers them. When you share yours with them, they feel like you entrusted them with a very secret part of your life. They feel special because you did not entrust the information to others and you trusted them with it. This can actually endear them to you and strengthen your relationship with them. 2. Being selfish. Everyone has a life to live, problems to attend to, and fun to catch. If someone chooses to make you a part of their lives, don't take it for granted. Everyone does not make everyone a part of their lives. Did you invite all your classmates to have dinner with your parents? I would be extremely surprised if you did. If you have a relationship with someone, learn to be considerate when dealing with them, do not be interested only in what they can offer you. A selfish person thinks of opportunities for themselves and sell them for the people they are together with. They can quarrel with you simply because you don't agree to do things their own way. If you want to know whether you are selfish or not, ask yourself. Do you care about your friend's interest? Do you even listen to your friend's opinion? Do you always expect them to listen to yours? Do you always want you guys to hang out at your favorite part? Do you always insist on watching your favorite shows when you are with your friends? When was the last time you called your friends first to check on them? You may be super selfish without even knowing. It starts and becomes normal over time. No relationship that is that way will last. No one likes selfish people. Luckily, there is remedy for this. If you listen more than you speak and become more honest with people, you will feel better in the relationship, learn to share and show support for the things your friends are interested in. Number 3. Poor communication culture. Human thelopathy, no thanks to technology, has not evolved. We have not come to a stage where we can understand what others are thinking by looking at them. In other words, people need to speak up more. If you are in a relationship with someone, learn to communicate your feelings, reservations and fears. You need to understand, your friend cannot know what is going on if you don't tell him or her. Not communicating can cause you to overreact over things that you haven't talked about. It can make you appear unstable and this can strain the relationship. People also have stuff going on for them. It is unfair to lash out at others out of personal frustration. No one deserves to be treated that way. If you even need some time away from the relationship, it is better to communicate this than to subconsciously start pushing the other person away. It takes courage to communicate how we feel to the people that care about us. But if we want them to stay, we have to. 4. Being very secretive. Lying is an extreme case. However, being too secretive can be a problem too. If you are in a romantic relationship, this is especially problematic. Do you always take your phone when your partner reaches across the table for a cup of coffee? What do you want your partner to think in such situations? There's really nothing wrong with having secrets. We all have secrets. Having too many is the problem, especially if the person in question is very open and honest. Taking clandestine phone calls that change your mood that you never talk about, saving people's contacts with different names and going away for a period without telling anyone where you are going are some things that can be seen as secretive. If you keep it up, your relationship may not be great anymore. The thing about being secretive is that it also makes you start telling lies to cover your tracks and lies are not compatible with relationships. According to Scientific America, secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health and less satisfying relationships. No matter how many secrets you have, bringing in a friend and some of them that are not crimes will give you an ally in your struggles. Is it drug addiction? Your friend can recommend rehab and not judge you for your decisions. 5. Not staying within your boundaries. When you are in a relationship with someone, learn to respect their boundaries. Everyone has a personal space, a place that holds sacred. A topic they never discuss and things they never eat. It differs in people, really. If they have told you, respect it and don't bring it up. Don't open their computer to play video games because you know the password. Don't use their wifi without telling them. Don't make physical advances without their constant. Don't walk their dog or eat their sandwich in the microwave because you know it is there. Don't even visit unannounced unless it gives you a key. Respecting their boundaries can really endear you to them. When you don't, even if unintentionally, they can assume that you are disrespectful and write you off. If everyone thinks you are this way, you may have a serious problem on your hands. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who doesn't respect boundaries. 6. Not keeping your promises. If you want to build trust in any relationship, if you say you will do something for them, do it. Don't just do it. But do it at the exact time you promised you would. You would be amazed at what this will do for you. If people's general impression of you is reliable, you are already on your way to success. Not keeping your promise is another way to kill of trust in any relationship. If your friends can rely on your words, it is a big problem. 7. Complaining all the time. No one wants to be friends with someone who only sees what is not working in life. Such people are very negative people. To succeed, you need a lot of positivity and a gratitude attitude. Hanging out with someone like that will do you no good. People who complain hardly do anything about anything. If you are friends with people, try to encourage them instead of complaining and killing their dreams. If a friend abandons an idea that someone later pushes to success because of you, they are unlikely to stick around in the relationship. 8. Working all the time. Working around the clock and having little time for your friends will suddenly not help your relationship. They also have work to do when you are always canceling on them for work and never showing up for important events in their lives. Don't expect magic from them. They are humans. When they don't bother to invite you anymore, don't take offense. You had it coming. 9. Being manipulative. Are your friends valuable to you? Do you care about them? If you care about people, why manipulate them? It seems like you are in charge until you are found out. It is easier to forgive someone who lied than someone who manipulated you for your selfish interest. Those behaviors, if you keep them up, can leave you very lonely. Friends are humans too. Treat people the way you would like to be treated and you will be fine.