 Good morning everybody. Welcome back to another vlog. It is bright and early on a Monday morning. It's not that early It's like 8 30 and I am going to another doctor's appointment to start off the day. We'll talk about it But this is the first Monday the first day back to like reality that truck was very loud This is like the first day back to reality since losing Mu and it's really weird and it's just yeah We'll talk more about it later, but if I see him a little Down trodden that's why I'm just trying I have no choice but to put one foot in front of the other and Continue I can't like you know miss these appointments or I get charged and I have work to do and I have deadlines to meet And there's just a lot going on so Life goes on I'm just trying to put one foot in front of the other same with Drew We but we were talking this morning. We were like we just have to get through today and then tomorrow We just have to get through tomorrow and That's really all you can do so I just want to say before I like get into the actual vlog I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has Everyone who has sent like the kindest most thoughtful Comments and messages and such sweet things to say about Mu. I mean I just loved him so much and It just means a lot that he also impacted you all in even a small tiny way So as I said before I'm comforted by hopefully the fact that like, you know him and Leila are together and Reunited but anyways, I Am actually running late as usual, but I'm on my way I know it's been like a lot of doctors appointments lately, but I think I said it in previous vlog I just kind of like booked everything all at once, but I'm actually on my way. Oh, no You're wobbly, but I am actually on my way to The doctor's office to the gynecologist and I haven't been to the gynecologist since 2021 Which if you have been following me since then or didn't know I had a horrible Last experience at the gynecologist, which is weird because it was a woman doctor I was at a women's health center like it was just it just threw me for a loop and basically this doctor told me that you know everything that was Wrong with me when it came to my periods even though I expressed that I have a lot of symptoms of like either PCOS or endometriosis I'm not really sure She assured me that it was actually just because I had gained weight and when I tried to say well I had these symptoms occurred long before I gained weight It was actually like it's but I've had my period since I was 12 and it's been really bad Especially over the last like 10 years or so but I mean even since high school and She was just like well lose weight and that was sort of her solution for it I don't know what's going on with this lighting. Sorry. I can't look at the screen, but It was the most Jarring experience because I had always heard about you know other plus-sized people that I follow going to the doctor and like being like Oh, my wrist hurts and they're like well lose weight and I just never Experienced that which says a lot about you know my privilege and stuff But I you know went to this doctor expecting them to just be like here's the answer you're looking for and I was just totally shocked So anyway, I have just like not gone back since then because I've been so afraid of that happening again That was like one of the most embarrassing Shame-inducing experiences of my life truly and also to just like not be listened to by a doctor and be like well I'm in like you know immense pain and there's this and that going on and they're just like well You're fat so and then she like the cherry on top was she tried to like sell me some Cagle balls that she was like it was like a use my coupon code and I get like an affiliate I don't know. It was just very very bizarre. So that sucked now. I'm just trying to muster up the courage to go back So I heard about this place called Tia. This is not sponsored at all I've seen influencers work with them before but I'm truly like paying with my money. I Heard about this place. That's sort of like a like a women's health center And I think they kind of have a blend of like they have doctors, but then they also do things like Acupuncture and more sort of Eastern medicine and things like that if you want So I think it's just kind of a combination of like holistic and Traditional medical care and I thought that was really cool And you have to pay a membership of $15 a month But they do take my insurance which is amazing And I've just heard from people that they've had like really amazing experiences and I Could really use that right now. I'm hanging on by a thread. So I feel like if this goes south then I'll be worried. Mmm So I know I forgot I brought my Fresh orange juice that I got from the farmers market yesterday. Where is that siren coming from? Oh, we're here. Oh My god, that's the best orange juice I've ever had in my life. I'm not exaggerating whoa That literally tastes like candy that really just hit the spot I don't I'm not really like a massive orange juice person unless it's like fresh squeezed and this I mean look at this color Unbelievable. Anyway, so yeah, I'm excited to see I've just heard people have really good experiences Like they don't wait shame you there. They're just very kind of like progressive thinking It just seems very like new wave, but I'm gonna test it out So I mean you can cancel your membership at any time But I've just heard such good things that I'm like so excited and it looks really cute Like it looks like very bougie and so I'm gonna try to like take some clips when I'm in there Obviously like in a respectful way. I'm not gonna like show anyone else. But yeah, that is what we're gonna do this morning So again, just wanted to I know this is like a long a really long start to the vlog But I just wanted to say thank you so much Thanks so much for being there for us and for extending so many well wishes to drew as well and just So much love and support and I just feel so grateful for you all and like I'm very fragile So I will start crying. Um, so I'm gonna go. But yeah, let's check out this doctor's office and see what it's all about And fingers crossed for a much better experience than last time Okay, just left my appointment and honestly, it wasn't bad. It really wasn't bad I didn't get any sort of like shaming vibes or anything like that it truly just felt very normal and actually even when I like first sat down in the exam room and like the One of the techs came to like speak to me I don't know the proper word the person who speaks to you like before the doctor comes in She asked me have you ever been tested for PCOS like immediately after I started explaining my symptoms and I was like No, I actually haven't and so they ended up doing like blood work for me in house There were some other like issues that I had Concerns with and they have other people in house to deal with that kind of thing So that's gonna be like a later appointment I didn't need like a pap smear because I had already had that done and because of my age and the fact that my last one came Back normal etc etc um we're good like I'm good for another I think three years or something like that because I think you only have to do it every five years at a certain point if They come back normal, but I did have my annual and everything is good there, and yeah, I feel really good I'm really glad I did that and I put it off for two years For good reason, I mean I was very like rattled the last time But I will say that this was a great experience and like I will definitely keep going here I there wasn't any sort of judgmental language or anything Even when I like was giving some of my like medical history to them They said are you comfortable telling us your weight like I just thought that was really nice And I was like yeah sure and they asked questions like you know How many partners do you have currently and do you feel safe in those relationships, and I don't know It was just like it was really great. It felt like very different from what I'm used to it was still a doctor's office Don't get me wrong. It was definitely still a doctor's office, but I really enjoyed it and I'll definitely go back So anyway got some blood work done and we will wait to hear the results back and then we'll just kind of go from there So anyway, I am feeling a little bit better I was gonna like go walk and get a smoothie and maybe walk down to the beach and just kind of enjoy it on the beach But honestly, I'm wearing like Birkenstocks right now, and I don't know why I just like can't walk long distances in those It feels like they're gonna fly off at any second and also I'm just tired I want to go home and like catch up on some work I do feel like just catching up on work will distract me and I really need that distraction right now So that's what I'm choosing to do. Everyone's grief is totally different, but I just feel like I need Like to jump into work because that's what helps me. I'm a capricorn So anyway, I'm really pleased with that experience and I thought that I would start off this vlog by you know Hopefully encouraging you to continue seeking the care that you deserve because it feels really good So two thumbs up for me. I'm going to head on home and we will catch up later. I Don't honestly remember. I'm just getting ready to head out the door I just got dressed because you know I've been trying to get dressed more lately And I'm gonna wear my new gazelles that I just got these red platform ones Listen, I saw an opportunity and I took it so I'm wearing these for the first time I've never worn them before which is a little brave because I will be out and about like all day today We will see how that goes. I wear it these in my usual size, but they are a little bit big just FYI if anyone was Interested my god. They're so cute. So I'm doing like a little bit of a pop of red moment today So I have my little Hollister. Here's an outfit of the day. I'm a little Hollister baby tea on I have my Well, maybe I believe little squirt. It's actually a workout squirt, but I'm just wearing it as a normal skirt It's kind of like rib and has these little slits and I mean it has shorts And then I'm just wearing this vintage denim jacket that I got in a mystery proof box I'm gonna do these little sunglasses from Amazon that are so cute I unboxed them recently and then to top it all off. We're gonna do a red bag here I'll show you the the full OOTD. We're feeling very 90s as usual and this is so much fun I love this I will be explaining later, but I'm getting my hair done today And I think I'm doing something quite different, but first I need to get my nails done. They're just very grown out and Unfortunate looking so we're gonna do that first and then we're gonna go get my hair done after that But I thought I would check in say good morning I also Remembered this time to pack my laptop so that I can get my editing work done While I'm getting my hair done because I'll be at the salon for like probably six hours because that's how it goes with Blondies, but yeah, we're gonna head in the car get these nails fixed and then do something fun for fall. I'm so excited All right, just finished my nails. They're looking so cute. They're brown and like just very fall Inspired it's very overcast today, and I know I like keep talking about fall But honestly, we don't really get it here. So it's just like a state of mind for me It's just fun to like feel the cozy vibes. I am ready for some chillier temperatures But today does feel like very fall-esque weather. So anyways, that's done. I think it's really cute and fun I went for more of like a natural shape this time. I'm just getting tired of like having longer I mean my nails are always short, but that sort of round pointed. I'm just over that So anyways now I am at the salon and we're gonna say goodbye to this hair This isn't like the greatest lighting. Let me do this. Maybe this helps a little so we're gonna say goodbye to this hair Basically the last time I got my hair done I wanted to do more of like a rooted look because I wanted it to blend in with my natural Hair color, which is like this up top, but I just am not feeling it And that's the beauty of having your own hair is being able to do whatever the hell you want So I want to try Something that I've like kind of done before but a little bit different like definitely way more subtle And that's like a coppery kind of tone I've been getting tagged and just like commented and DM'd and whatever on so many TikToks of people being like you need to go cowboy copper for fall and that's like a thing that people are calling it on TikTok where it's this sort of strawberry ish coppery ish blonde hair color for fall and I like love Coppery tones on me. I loved my red hair when I first got it done But I think it just got a little bit muddy as I got it done like a couple other times and like the red Just faded right away and then also like my roots were really dark So then it was like my roots were dark and then it was like super bright red And it's just like wasn't my favorite thing So I feel really safe in the hands that I'm in right now with the girl who does my hair She's amazing. So I'm excited to see what we come up with it might be pretty subtle But to me it's gonna be very exciting. So anyways, no one cares. I'm gonna go and get my hair done We're gonna say goodbye to this color and I will see you in about God Honestly like six or seven hours when we have the finished results. I'm so excited Okay, I'm back home. Are we ready for the reveal? My god, here is what it looks like. I love it. Hold on. Let me turn the light It truly looks different in every lighting like when I was standing outside taking photos earlier It literally just looked blonde like dirty blonde and then in other lights It looks kind of brown, but right now it looks fully copper, but either way I'm obsessed. It's so fun It's just like a toner So I did my usual like highlights and it's blonde underneath But this is just like a toner that'll wash out in a few washes, but I love it. It's so much fun. So much fun for fall It's like exactly what I wanted in this lighting right here I also bought a that I think that I saw on TikTok that I did show my hairstylist by the way and she is okay with it It's like a semi-permanent or like temporary Little like color booster thing like conditioner that you can put in with your regular conditioner like mix it up It's not over toned. Don't worry. Um, but anyway, she looked at it and was like, it's all good You can use that no problem and just like kind of let it fade out when I wash it, but oh so much fun So glad I did that I'm exhausted. I was there for six hours. I'm literally so tired, but that was just so much fun So anyway, it's a new era for me. Honestly, I'm obsessed