 As you prepare to dive into our discussion today, it is important for us to be in the present moment while remembering all who have come before us. And with that in mind, we take a moment to acknowledge all Indigenous and First People of the land and space in which we live and breathe. For us here at Highland College, we recognize that we are on stolen and occupied Duwamish, Coast Salish, Muckleshoot, and Puyallup lands and we want to thank all relations and tribes today as we prepare to hold space as a community. We also recognize that all of us are joining this conversation from various places through Zoom and so we also acknowledge the Indigenous and First People of the land and spaces in which you are currently occupying. Furthermore, we respectfully acknowledge the enslaved people primarily of African descent who provided exploited labor on which this country was built with little to no recognition. And today we are indebted to their labor and the labor of many black and brown bodies that continue to work in the shadows for our collective benefit. And now I would like to pass the virtual mic to the main host Karen Fernandez, who will introduce our guest speaker for today's program. Good afternoon Highland family. I'm Karen Fernandez. I use she her pronouns. I am a reference librarian. It is wonderful to have you all joining us today for our disability justice week presentation. I am honored to introduce our speaker today. Dr. Paul Lina Paulina a boost on any pronoun gender fluid centers, the alternative to world making of intersectional disability justice and queer critical race feminist found within youth education, popular culture, animated storytelling, and the colonial pillow connects learning spaces as a ninth year higher education instructor. Dr. a boost on has taught within the fields of women's gender and sexuality studies, disability studies, Asian American studies, education studies and more. Dr Paulina a boost on is currently a visiting assistant professor of women's gender and sexuality studies at Western Washington University. They are a part time affiliate assistant professor of higher of educational studies and disability studies at the University of Washington and ethnic and gender studies here at Highline College. Welcome Dr. a boost on. Hello everyone. Hello everyone. Thanks for having me here. I will share my screen with you. Okay. So, welcome everyone and thanks for having me. My, as mentioned, my name is Dr Paulina Paulina a boost on. I go by any pronoun I'm gender fluid. And my talk today is about clear Crip Philippinex dreaming. So a little bit about me. An image description about me is I am a gender fluid queer Crip neurodivergent Philippinex person with light brown skin dark brown eyes straight black hair to my chin. As mentioned, I'm a visiting assistant professor at Western Washington University, women's gender sexuality studies, and part time faculty for UW disability studies, you double education studies, and Highline's ethnic and gender studies. I'm zooming in from the ancestral homelands of the namey poo and police peoples in Eastern Washington. Today, we will share more about. More about my ancestors community queer Crip Philippinex connections, dreaming copper self in the other worlds, youth education, pop culture animated storytelling, and coalitional activism. So just a little bit about myself. I grew up in Southern California. This is an image of the Tongva indigenous lands of mountains and shrubs near my hometown Baldwin Park, California, just a few miles east of Los Angeles. And this is also an image on the right of Chumash indigenous lands. Near my ranch Kukamanga hometown. Pardon me that should actually say Kukamanga homelands. I went to school at UC Santa Barbara, and I received my PhD at Washington State University. So Santa Barbara is located on Chumash indigenous lands. And this is an image of Chumash indigenous Rocky Mountain and ocean side lands near my undergrad UC Santa Barbara, where I majored in feminist studies and political science. And also an image to the right is Mimi poo indigenous Snake River mountain lands in Eastern Washington, where I received my PhD in cultural studies and education and American studies degree. So a little bit about my ancestors and my family. This is an image of the ancestral homelands of my Lola, meaning grandmother in Tagalog, one of the Philippine languages. And it is an image of a water filled volcano in Pampanga Philippines, where my Lola grew up. And to the right is an image of the ancestral homelands of my Lola grandfather in Tagalog. And this is a cliff overlooking a lush green forest in Kavita Philippines. In terms of my dad's side of the family who I grew up with because my nana and tata raised me. I call my grandma and my grandpa on my dad's side my nana and tata meaning mom and dad at Tagalog, because they raised us. And I love them very much. So my nana meaning mom grandma in Tagalog grew up in Pampanga Philippines. And this is an image to the left of the sacred waters of Pampanga Falls. And to the right is an image where my grandfather, also known as tata meaning dad in Tagalog, his hometown in Lupan Philippines, and it's an image of lush green jungle and mountain forest. So why am I talking to you about my ancestors and my family during disability justice league at Highline. My ancestors, my family, they are a big part of who I am today. And as many ethnic studies, women's gender sexuality studies field share, it's important to know our history in order to know ourselves. Without it, we have no history and we have no self. So, in terms of the timeline and background of my family, pre colonial Philippines actually embraced Philippinex gender fluid people and women leaders, our pronouns were shot, which means they. So those are, that's also one of the other pronouns I use is shot, which is a gender neutral pronoun. Unfortunately, and systemically Spanish colonizers fed Philippinex gender fluid people and women leaders to the crocodiles. They suppressed our couple meaning self and other cultures. This is very heavy but unfortunately, my grandfather's dad's plan was murdered by the Spanish priests. And since they were protesting sexual violence during the 1880s. So this is a very painful history that my family holds, and that is in deep in deep connection with indigenous people here, who have also experienced tremendous violence from Spanish colonizers. And unfortunately, and systemically, we continue to find the remains of kids all over the United States all over Canada. And my family can definitely relate to this as my family experience violent colonization from Spanish priests and protested, and we're unfortunately murdered. I'm also very deeply connected to the indigenous people here the coast Salish people in Washington, the Neemee people in Washington and Idaho, because US colonizers, which included Washington State and Idaho soldiers fought Salish and Neemee people peoples, as they were occupying land and colonizing the people here. And in their diaries they mentioned how they also fought Philippinex people when the US was colonizing the Philippines in 1898. And they called us Philippinex people as savage, and they called us even more barbaric than the indigenous people here. And we have deep connections and deep ties to the coast Salish people here to Neemee people people here to Chumash people in Santa Barbara California to Tongva people in the Los Angeles area. We have a shared very harmful history of colonizers seeking to wipe us out seeking to wipe out our women leaders, our gender fluidity, our gender creativity. World War II, my, unfortunately, this is once again very heavy. My grandma and grandpa, my Nana and Tatai's village in Lucban, Philippines was unfortunately burned down, and they were forced to hide in the forest. So my grandma gave birth to my uncle in the forest those lush green forests that you just saw a minute ago, without any hospital resources, because they were escaping violence from 1941 to 1945 during World War II. The Philippines and also note that the Philippines was a territory during 1898 to 1946. So us Philippinex, we share many, many common threads with indigenous people here with people in South America, with people in the Caribbean, in Africa, who are colonized. And this all relates to the story of who I am today, because during my during my K-12, I didn't know any of this history. I only heard whispers from my family and stories from my family. And I never saw it in the textbooks, I didn't see myself. I didn't know that gender fluidity and women leaders were honored so highly during pre-colonial times. So I felt kind of ashamed. I did feel ashamed of who I was, and I didn't feel like I was enough. And part of that shame is that my immigrant parents, my mom was a doctor in the Philippines, a medical doctor, and my dad was an engineer. When they migrated to the United States, they were unable to practice, and they worked low wage jobs, and they continue to work low wage jobs today. I am a first generation US higher education student. So in terms of queer, Crip, Philippinex me, I first felt shame about who I am because once again I didn't see myself and the multiple issues I care about my family, my ancestors represented in K-12 school experiences. However, during my UC Santa Barbara career, I joined intersectional student activist organizations, ranging from Philippinex groups to student of color conference planning groups to feminist and queer groups. I began to find myself. I began to know my history and to know myself, and I continue to be on that lifelong process of learning to love my gender fluid, queer, sick, neurodivergent and disabled self. So in terms of my research, why, why do I do this research? I look at clear critical race feminist disability justice alternative world making happening in youth learning spaces, youth popular culture animated storytelling and international activism. And I look for these dream worlds, because right, my family's history right we have survived. We have gone through so much. People wanted to wipe out our gender fluidity people wanted to wipe out our women leaders people wanted to wipe us out. So, we are really looking for dream worlds where we can all exist, honoring our multiple bot and diverse body minds. So who first, you know, started to dream of these dream worlds. I would say it was my great grandfather, right who survived the murdering of his clan. And he was dreaming. I know of a world where we could exist and thrive for who we are. So indigenous people, Philippinex people, black, indigenous and other people of color, we are dreaming these dream worlds, disabled people, trans people, queer people, and all of us, we are all needed to dream of these worlds where all of our body minds are honored. I love queer black feminist Audre Lorde who shares. It is not our differences that divide us. It's our inability to recognize accept and celebrate those differences. So I'm dreaming of that world where all of our differences are honored, and where as Audre Lorde shares caring for myself is not self indulgence. It is a self preservation. And that is an act of political warfare. So a future world where our differences are honored, where we take care of ourselves where we take care of each other. And I'm also dreaming of a world where there is not a single issue struggle because none of us live single issue lives according to Audre Lorde. So our multiplicities would be honored. So this is an image of various images of Audre Lorde, black, lesbian, feminist. Another feminist of color who inspires my disability justice dreaming work is Gloria Anzaldua. And Gloria Anzaldua is a lesbian Chicana feminist, and she shares how the struggle is inner Chicano, Indio American Indian, Mexicano, immigrant Latino, Anglo empower, working class, black, Asian, our sites resemble the border towns and are populated by the same people. The struggle has always been inner it is played out in the outer two ways. Awareness of our situation must come before inner changes, which in turn come in changes in society. Nothing happens in the real world unless we happen, unless it happens in our heads. So this is an image of Gloria Anzaldua with her quote. And this is everything to me because right we had to first dream it we had to envision it. We had to demand it for it to actually to happen. So, you know, my grandparents dreaming of a world without war, my parents dreaming for a world where we can be embraced for who we are, me dreaming for a gender fluid and queer Crip world that is accessible. I need to see it I need to feel it. I need to taste it before it can actually happen. And we got to dream it. And that's how we can work towards it. I have a quote from Gloria Anzaldua who shares, I change myself and I change the world. So all of these changes begin with ourselves. Who are our ancestors, who are our communities. What is the histories of the lands that we are on. Are we supportive of the indigenous people here. Are we seeking to learn more about sick and disabled people about neurodivergent people queer and trans people. So a lot of my work is also inspired by Dr Kathy Cohen and Dr Sammy shock and Kathy Cohen calls for the destabilization and radical politicization of our identities for collective survival and action. And Sammy shock 2018 shares how disability includes illness disease secondary health effects. And that's because people of color and the poor are more likely to experience the borders of able bodied this and able mindedness due to the violence and failures of society to provide access to affordable quality insurance housing and medical care. So these are images of Dr Kathy Cohen and Dr Sammy shop clear black feminist scholar Kathy Cohen and black feminist disability scholar Sammy shop. And you know this quote is so important to me, because as I shared with you all my family, my ancestors my communities, my Philippine X communities queer, Crip, we continue to experience trauma on a daily basis in the world that does not accept us for our genuine in the world where I do not see myself in the K 12 or even higher education curriculum. I don't see my ancestors clear trans neurodivergent people sick and disabled people within when I turn on Netflix. And when I'm watching movies and reading books, rarely do I see stories about my ancestors and communities. So it is important for us, you know to honor and hold our differences, and to honor them and envision a future world where our differences exist, and where we thrive. And in terms of disability and illness, you know think about everything that my grandparents have been through my great grandparents, my mom my dad, us, and you know the violence of imperialist wars, the violence of colonization. The violence of racism and ableism all over our society. It impacts your psyche and your bones and your every day, and your fire begins to dim. And so I'm dreaming of a world where we're not made to feel small and insignificant and less. And I'm dreaming of a world where we can truly embrace each other and hold each other for who we are. So feminist queer Crip, you're probably wondering, what does that mean. So queer and Crip, according to Claire, Eli Claire 1999 shares how they are words to shock to infuse with pride and self love words to resist internalize hatred words to help forge a politics. So why am I using these words clear and Crip. And that's because, you know, queer used to be a derogatory term, and it has been reclaimed by LGBTQIA communities, lesbian, lesbian gay by trans queer intersex, and asexual communities. And Crip was also once a derogatory term, and is reclaimed by those of us who identify as sick and disabled. We are no longer letting shame and the disappearance of ourselves and our stories take over our lives, we're taking space. And we're saying, you know, we matter. And our issues matter. And according to K for, you know, these, this is a way for us to establish a coalitional world where disability is centered. It is not just the footnote, you know, within our course texts within our discussions. It is the center. Right. When we think of colonization, colonization and racism, that is founded upon colonizers thinking Philippinex people, black, indigenous and other people of color are less are not smart enough are not good enough are not human. And if you think about hetero cis hetero sexism that is founded upon people thinking trans people non binary queer people are not good enough that something's wrong with us that something needs to be fixed with us. So by me claiming queer and Crip. I'm resisting that hatred, and I'm promoting that love within our communities. So this is an image of Dr. Allison capers book feminist queer Crip, which has yellow, red, black, green, abstract art. In terms of clearing and cripping as a verb. Make ruler shares to Crip is like to clear. It gets out of process to unsettle. So you know me sharing my family histories and who I am. You know I'm shaking things up. I'm shaking the narrative. You know our communities actually have more connection than we think, and also our communities. So I think that immigration is bound as activists Watson shares that you know it is important for us to unsettle these narratives where we don't exist where we are degraded where we are less. Crip being I'm clearing, and I'm also working towards a disability justice world and according to McRuehr 2018. If forges an anti neoliberal coalition that imagines a global Crip imagination, where we counter oppression and generate new forms of being in common. So you know that anti neoliberal. When I share how my parents are continuing to work low wage jobs, when they are, you know, at the retirement age. This hurts, right so many of our communities are working. So many of us are working two to three jobs just to pay for the rent that continues to increase every year, just to pay for our medicine. Our medical bills to pay for food to pay for diapers, and we shouldn't have to work three jobs, just to take care of ourselves. So disability justice imagines a world where my mom doesn't have to work two jobs, where my dad. You know, doesn't have to go through all of this violence and racism and poverty. So we are imagining a world where we have more rest where we have more access to joy, access to basic and quality needs. So this is an image description of McRuehr's Crip theory book with purple red orange green abstract art. Leah Lakshmi-Pyepsna Samarasingha has a book that's called Care Work, Dreaming Disability Justice. So this is more inspiration for my work. But she, they talk about the making of the new world opportunity to dream and keep dreaming care webs, receiving care, keeping each other alive. And this is an image description of Leah Lakshmi-Pyepsna Samarasingha, queer Crip femme of color, with long green hair, pink lipstick, and a green white flower bush, bush background smiling, wearing a black shirt next to their book cover, Care Work. So in terms of our queer Crip Philippinex connections, Dr. Lenny Strobel, Philippinex scholar has a book that's called Back from the Crocodiles Belly. And that's because I am here. I am back. I am gender fluid. I am queer. I'm Crip. I'm Philippinex. Back, you know, pre 18 or 1800s, the Spanish colonizers, the Spanish priests would have fed me to the, to the crocodiles, because I am a leader in my community, I am gender fluid, I am queer. Now we are reemerging, and we are back. And we are working in partnership with black, indigenous, and other people of color communities, sick and disabled communities, trans and queer communities, to bring back that love for ourselves, for our communities to take care of ourselves, our land, our water, air, because all of us, we need clean water and air to survive. We need each other to survive, according to disability justice. So when I look back at my ancestors, I remember this is why I'm here today. I am back from the crocodiles belly. And so I continue to research, you know, knowing my history, knowing myself. I'm reading more about Filipino Americans. This is a book by Maria P. P. Root that discusses, you know, how diverse and expansive our community is. Dr. EJR David has a book called Brown Skin, White Mines, and he talks about colonial mentality. Think about how this is tied to anxiety, to depression, to PTSD found within our Asian American communities, especially in Filipinx communities that have been colonized and are continuing to learn how to love ourselves and love each other and take care of each other. So colonial mentality includes feeling inferior for being Filipino, feeling ashamed for being Filipino, discriminating against less westernized Filipinos. And those who are considered fresh off the boat, fob, a derogatory term, and those desiring lighter skin, and denying and minimizing the historical and current oppression of Filipinos. So Dr. EJR David found that colonial mentality exists within so many Filipinx in the United States. And I have experienced this, you know, my grandma who up using whitening soap on her skin. I used whitening soap on my skin. I plugged my nose to make it look more European and white and less Filipino. Unfortunately, my parents shared, you know, don't play out too long in the sun, you'll get too dark. So colonial mentality means addressing the anti blackness in our communities, and addressing how we have learned to be a shame of ourselves, and a shame, and that contributes to our mental health. And Filipinx experiencing according to Dr. EJR David, low self esteem, low life satisfaction, more depression, and more anxiety. And so right I've had anxiety and depression, since I was a kid, and I have ADHD. I have chronic body maintain fibromyalgia. I have an autoimmune illness and other disabilities. And I wonder, is this an isolation, or is this connected to a colonial racist ableist history. That's so many of us continue to live in today we are living history, each and every one of us, and we are connected. In terms of dreaming a world where I love myself and dreaming a world where, where we can exist and thrive. These are some books. This one is by Melissa and never was on all called the Filipinx radical imagination reader, imagining new worlds where we thrive. And this is a book by Gina Velasco, Dr. Gina Velasco and who discusses queering the global Filipino body, and where queer Filipinas can call home amidst the diaspora. And this is another book by Kate will undyed by it, who is queer trans, and who is disabled, who discusses how we are more than our organs, and we are dreaming of worlds where our multiplicities can exist and thrive. In terms of my research in the schools, I do this research because right, I didn't see myself in the books, I didn't see queer people, I didn't see disabled people, I didn't see gender fluid people. So, me being in the schools in elementary schools was a testament to how we continue to survive and we continue to thrive. So I loved it when at the schools kids would call me Mr. kids would call me miss. Kids would ask me what am I what am I a boy or girl and I love that because I am gender fluid, I am all I am none at the same time. And my very presence in the schools, right, Crip queer unsettled things. And so I loved it, you know when students would ask me questions and also I found disability justice happening in the schools. So students were engaging and rest more and relaxation. So they were feeling at home and able to expand and become their authentic selves. When students were building community, they were learning from each other, and they were holding each other accountable and supporting each other. They were honoring their differences on celebrating their intersectional identities and perspectives. Although disability justice was happening in the schools, kids were, you know, feeling disconnected. Since the schools do have so much testing have so much requirements are still in the binary system. So there was still some, a lot of issues to be worked out in our elementary schools. But however I did file find moments of disability justice and joy happening in the schools. So in terms of more rest in our schools. This is an image of Rilakkuma comfortable bear wearing a cat suit with a little cat. It's a plushie a plush. I heard many things in the elementary schools of kids saying it's okay not to be okay. And the teachers I work with sharing mental health and empathy lessons. Teachers encouraging kids to bring their blankets their where their pajamas where fuzzy socks get comfy and bring their stuffed animals. That is something that is lost in higher education. And I wish we could embrace, you know, being comfy, settling resting more and being okay to be goofy and to be in community with each other. Disability justice promotes us being there for each other and resting more being there for ourselves showing up for ourselves. So teachers at the elementary schools had a calming corner. They had interactive activities they had brain breaks they encourage students to get up and run around, and, you know, recesses built in. And then also they encourage gardening and honey gardening and also encouraging the beehives to cultivate honey. There was also a lot of singing dancing drawing and field trips, something that is lost within higher education, but something I encourage, I encourage with my higher ed students. Students were building in the elementary schools in my feminist ethnographic research regarding disability justice in the schools students were building community. They shared about their highs and lows during morning meetings. So sometimes they felt left out, they wanted everyone to feel like a family. So they would call each other in, according to trans activists, Tran 2013. They call each other in when they're hurt, instead of pushing each other out, they actually called each other in and wanted to learn how can they make things better. They took responsibility for the individual and collective actions, and they sought to learn more about their local and global community. Example, they were brainstorming ways to end poverty and hunger within our own Washington State elementary schools community. This is an image of Pikachu a yellow mouse Pokemon with a red cheeks and a flower, and it's a plush and it's so cute and it's something I saw in love in elementary schools. And this is an image of a shirt, a white shirt that says dreamer with a rainbow on it. These are just some of the examples of our kids leading our futures for disability justice enjoy. They were honoring differences. They were taught that Harriet Tubman, you know black woman abolitionists was actually disabled and that is something that the history books leave out. You know history books leave out how those who have survived colonization black indigenous and people of color communities. Many of us. You know, have mental health stories and issues in our family. We have disabilities we have sickness. As you know, now, unfortunately, there's a high number of Filipino American nurses who are sick with coven with their number in comparison to other nurses. So I'm so happy at the schools, they were teaching intersectional lessons, and they were also teaching the importance of teachers, you know, being able to strike being able to demand for basic needs met and a quality of life salary, a living wage salary. And I loved how the schools were honoring differences, and they were the teacher I worked for. She herself her daughters are clear and she herself is disabled. So she was just all about the intersectionality. So I love that we had potlucks we had celebrations we sang songs in Spanish. And that is something that I try to encourage in my college classes. Although all these amazing dream worlds are happening in our schools. I want to note that our can our K 12 schools our higher education system continues to be underfunded schools, school teachers, and higher education professors continue to be overworked and underpaid. There's a lack of resources to teach and support the histories and issues of marginalized students. So regarding race gender sexuality disability. There's a lack of support for a transformative curriculum. And then also, many teachers may feel afraid to challenge the status quo for the fear of losing their jobs. And it's important to note that many students teachers and community members are experiencing poverty and hunger. So although these amazing disability justice worlds are taking place in our schools. There's poverty, hunger, students and teachers feeling unsafe for being who they are for discussing our true histories and our visions for the future. There's still a lot of fear. Another line of my research looks at the dream worlds, not only in youth education spaces, but in youth animated storytelling and pop culture. And you know, all of us right we learned so much from from the what we consume in the media, what we're watching every day what we're reading to what we're listening to. It's a powerful form of education, and maybe even be more pertinent and more relevant than the current K 12 and higher education that we are going through today, because right these animated story tellings are pushing us to imagine a different world. This is a story of Steven Universe and it's an image of Steven Universe. And they are a boy with a pink jacket with a yellow star on their shirt and black hair, and this is an image of Pearl, who is a pearl, and amethyst, who is a purple amethyst and garnet. I love this show so much and analyze it within my publications, analyzing shows, you know with disability justice taking place with queer critical race feminist dreaming taking place, because Steven is raised by these powerful women. It's a super awesome feminist show, and they are bending gender, and they are talking openly about mental health, something that I didn't encounter, while I was growing up and the shows that I was watching. And this is another show called avatar the last airbender and the legend of Korra. And it's an image of Korra from the show legend of Korra bending earth fire water and air. And this show has so much disability justice dreaming in it. And Korra herself, you know becomes sick becomes ill and dreams of different worlds, where all people can thrive. And you know she's a brown girl with blue eyes wearing blue, and it's just so powerful right to see shows today that kids are watching that have brown people that have powerful women characters that have sick and disabled characters. So I'm finding these disability justice worlds of rest of honoring differences of dreaming new worlds taking place in Korra. And another show is the dragon France. And since I'm running out of time, I'm just going to briefly browse through these but this is another show that has great disability justice happening and clear and neurodivergent worlds taking place. These kids are resisting the scripts that their parents have planned for them. They are imagining world where multiple dragons people elves can exist together. And this is another one of my favorite enemies hunter hunter. And there's so much gender fluidity here. There's so much queer love, and you know discussions of mental health. This is another show where I see those disability justice worlds happening fruits baskets is another one. So much so many intimate moments so many real moments, friendship, love, lost discussions whether someone fits in or not mental health discussions about gender and gender bending and gender fluidity. So these are the dream worlds that I'm looking for within youth popular culture. And maybe some of y'all studio Ghibli fans Ghibli. So many messages and studio Ghibli anime. This is an image of a forest with a little white spirit. And you know images for a better world, a world that respects all people, our water, our air. So, okay I got five more minutes. So, let's see here. The next slide. Okay, lastly, in terms of my third aspect of my research. I love supporting activism, because I myself during my University of California Santa Barbara undergrad days. And that's how I found myself. I found myself by getting involved with the Filipino Filipino organization and learning my history, and learning the issues of my communities, and planning clear Pinoy Pinai conferences and student of color conferences, knowing the history of ethnic studies, and how students demanded that in the late 1960s, and we're looking for change. So I do my best to support coalitional activism with sick disabled queer trans non binary black and indigenous people of color. I remember some of these first student of color conferences I attended. I just cried. I cried so much because, for the first time in my life, someone was actually talking about my ancestors, and someone was actually talking about how my ancestors were gender fluid and we're powerful women. And how mental health is a huge issue in our communities, and how diabetes and illness and heart disease is in our communities. And, you know, my grandparents didn't have these illnesses, but now my aunties my people and people, my parents, me, we all have these illnesses because right we're living in a world that is not is working us to sickness and death. We're living in a world that we're eating foods that we don't even know where they come from anymore, and we don't know if the waters are polluted. So this was the first time in my life, the student of color conference the queer Panayi Pinoy conference and I became an organizer that for them myself, where I began to center our marginalized communities and our dreams for future worlds of disability justice. And so at Washington State University, during my grad program I co founded queer people of color and allies, and we remembered trans queer black indigenous people of color loss. This is me leading this rally disrupting business as usual. And it was great because we got the MLK activist award and we are recognized so this is us on stage, a bunch, a bunch of cute TQ by pop, and this is us here doing a die in demonstration. And so we also hosted self care nights, where we would drink tea together because right taking care of ourselves is important. We hosted poetry nights. We also ate delicious foods together. We also hosted black power. We centered film festivals that celebrate our trans and black trans queer and black women who really co founded our pride movement, and our disability justice movement. Majority of the founders of disability justice in the United States are trans queer black indigenous and people of color. Thank you all for having me today, and I do hope you enjoyed my talk learning a little bit more about me, who I am my ancestors my family, and how they inspired me to pursue my research. I had no idea I was going to become a professor. I thank my mentors for encouraging me to apply for my masters for grad school. And now I have been teaching for nine years, and everything I teach I try to be intersectional and supporting the traditional, traditional, traditional activism and youth dreaming and youth popular culture, disability justice. So I hope you enjoyed my talk today everyone. Thank you, and I look forward to your questions. Okay, welcome back Highland family will now resume with our official q&a with Dr Paulina Paulina up on. It looks like you know that Paulina was definitely answering a few questions already in the chat. Hopefully you all had a quick nice little break, but we welcome you to continue asking any questions for q&a. The chat feature will make sure to double check for that as well. And so I'm going to welcome my main host Karen to join me and we'll definitely just have a conversation, you know, with our amazing guest today. And so, Dr Paulina, I know we have. I'm going to wait I'm going to wait for a few more questions to trickle in, but just thinking about your journey I just want to say, thank you so much for sharing like your history, especially like the painful parts. You know about walking us through about knowing your history and knowing yourself. I think for me as someone. Other amazing folks are a committee who work within higher ed. You know you mentioned, I think it towards the end you give a shout out to a mentor of yours. And like how you said you didn't know you're going to be a faculty member so would you mind talking a little bit about what that transition was like you know from being like not just an activist and organizing and schools but what was that transition like with your perhaps I'm going to be a professor now. What was that moment like for you to watch it. So, I just want to say a shout out to, you know, Kathy new in here because I knew her at UC Santa Barbara, and we were involved in Asian American activists organizations together and student of color organizations together. And like thinking of those times and, and you know now Kathy is, I mean she's always been amazing. And now she's you know boss and that's awesome. But you know when I started UC Santa Barbara, I mean, I didn't even know I was my parents always had the expectations for us to go to college, but I didn't really know what to do I didn't know what a FAFSA was I didn't know how to apply for students. So, I'm thankful for my high school teachers my mentors that walked us through that process on how to apply. And to be honest with you, a lot of my mentors were also the students near me, my friends, and you know like if I was a junior in high school, the seniors were my mentors they were telling me you know, you know Paul you got to apply for you know the UC system you got to apply for the Cal States apply for your community colleges. And so they were really, you know, pushing us to apply. So I'm thankful for that. And while I was at UC Santa Barbara, I really thank you know I was part of education opportunity program trio. It works. And to be honest with you, I almost left UC Santa Barbara, because, as I mentioned, you know my mom worked two jobs. My dad was sick and disabled. So really it was we were just surviving on my mom's income. And UC Santa Barbara was such a heavy burden because I wanted to be back home with my family and help them. And so I really almost left. I was literally saying bye to everyone, my after my first semester at UC Santa Barbara because I was working at the dining hall, I was juggling school. I was having to pick up another job and it just all felt too much. But thankfully, education opportunity program, the advisors there, they realized that something was wrong on my application they said what your mom works two jobs. So they found out that I actually qualified for a bunch of Pell grants, a bunch of scholarships, and I was able to stay and I didn't have to pick up a second job or anything and I just worked one work study job throughout college. I worked at the multicultural center at UC Santa Barbara who shout out to the MCC. And you know it's one of those like honestly mentors advisors, the students in the crowd today, talk to them. They are your key. They've been through it. They're there to assist you. And I'm just so glad like so thankful for education opportunity program. Or else I don't think I would have continued on maybe I would have worked a lot and maybe I would have been tired. And that's the reality so many students work. So, when I was in women's studies, I loved it I loved women's gender sexuality studies, I love attending and planning student of color conferences, and learning about, you know, all of what I shared. And, you know, my teachers were saying hey you know have you thought about applying for grad school. Have you thought about what you're going to do after college. I love working in the nonprofit sector for social economic and environmental justice nonprofits in Santa Barbara after, since I was already you know doing that organizing a get out the vote. You know, consciousness raising knowing our history knowing ourselves. And so I went into the nonprofit world. And while I was there, you know, I worked with different immigrant communities, different low income communities and I did a lot of you know stuff that was happening at City Hall and state government and then I would always get compliments from people like wow you broke down a really intense topic and heavy topic to something that we could relate with and I said oh really. And that's when I started thinking about me maybe I should go into education, and I should be a professor and so my, you know, thankful for UC Santa Barbara feminist studies they were planting that idea in my head. And then I went into cultural studies and education American studies cognate at WSU got some great scholarships and support and you know I still work throughout my grad program. I taught, and that's why I've been teaching for nine years because I've been teaching as a graduate student instructor. So to be honest with you, I had no idea what I was doing. I really did it and, and but it was mentors right that believed in me and I didn't really know what to do. You know, my mom is a nurse assistant. So she was like be an RN, and I felt so bad that I was not listening to my mom. I know a lot of immigrant, you know, children go through that because our immigrant parents do so much for us that we just want to do everything that they say, but I'm so glad I followed my heart and I realized you know I love my women's gender sexuality studies. I love, you know, learning about Philippinex communities and I and then I went into the world of disability studies, and I learned that illness is part of disability right mental health, chronic illness auto immune conditions it's not just the physical. It's also neurodivergent right. And so I, it just keeps expanding and I keep learning and I'm just once again thankful for those mentors friends at academic advisors professors that believed in me so students in the crowd. Please reach out. Your professors would rather have you reach out than disappear. I always want my students to share their entire lives with me it's okay like I would rather hear from you than than me not knowing you so you're welcome, like with my students I'm always like come talk to my come come visit my office hours I have an open door policy. Talk to me about whatever talk to me about Pikachu. You know I love I love Pokemon and talk to me about anime let's let's just talk because reach out you know we're here to support you. Thank you Dr Paul. Our next question is, how were you able to learn how to tell your story. I've always wanted to share more about my history trauma, but still fail hesitancy around it, and would love to hear how you came to this point to be able to share your story with others to bring awareness about these important issues around our intersecting identities. Thank you. Thank you for you know all of these questions. And, you know, I remember the very moment that that everything just, you know when your world basically flip my world flip right side up. It was probably down before then. But I was at the student of color conference at UC Santa Cruz, I believe it was 2007 my sophomore year, and they had a Filipino American speaker, who spoke about her mental health, who spoke about her family, you know, being sick, and having higher rates of heart disease, and, and having higher rates of heart disease, but yet our grandparents you know don't. And so, it clicked, you know like this, the colonization. The story that are that our communities experience here in the United States the racism. That all is linked with, you know, our trauma, you know, surviving colonization surviving wars, experiencing racism, experiencing ableism, and all of the stories she shared with me resonated with me so much. And it resonated with me because I remember my mom sharing stories with me that you know she is a medical doctor, but yet as a nurse assistant, you know people treat her badly. And I remember I was in elementary school and she would share that with me. And it didn't all click until that student of color conference where they were breaking down you know decolonization colonization. I remember the experiences, the mental health, the trauma, the sickness the disabilities in our communities and I remember I just couldn't stop crying I think I was like crying the whole day, it really hurt. Oh gosh, y'all are opening wounds here but but you know what I mean like it really hurt to just like everything was just validated and the speaker spoke about how there's girls in the Philippines who are being sex traffic. And there are girls that look like you that you know, don't have the opportunity that you have don't have access to education to mentors to housing to food. And it just all clicked for me, and it brought back those memories when I was a child and we would visit the Philippines. And you know we're going to church, my family's going to church and we're in our Sunday best. And I would see kids, you know, taking a shower in the sewer water, and you know it was just like all of these moments in my life I just held them with me. You know, using whitening soap, like my grandma using it Escanol and giving it to me to use and giving me a nose plug for my nose to look more white and Western, like all of those moments just came flooding back. Everything started to basically make sense and I was like I've hated myself for so long. I was ashamed of myself and my family, because we didn't see ourselves and, and I was sad you know my parents were working low wage jobs and we're working so much. And in a way I kind of blamed them but now I love them I love them so much because they were doing what they could to survive. And now I'm working for that world, you know disability justice we got to take care of ourselves imagine one day, you can't work, who's going to pay for your rent who's going to pay for your food housing. We need to work for a world where we're all taking care of. So that is how I came to my story, it was through plant attending and planning student of color conferences. Through my feminist studies major, and then through my graduate program just I highly recommend for you to read books right that the librarians recommended disability justice books, Asian American books. It's about indigenous indigenous peoples and indigenous sovereignty and land back movements and it will be so healing, because you will see yourself on the pages, and that you're not alone. So that's my tip. Oh, Jerry said, trying not to cry. Yes, and Jerry in the chat. I have a question. It is what are your thoughts and perspective on the recent movement to include critical race theory and K through 12 education. And how do you think local governments can work in a bipartisan way to make this happen. So I'm all about critical race theory in K 12 in higher ed, and thanks Jerry says Dr. Paul is teaching, I'm teaching Asian American roots EGS 142 this winter sign up. Yes, I'm all about it. And I'm all about you know state legislatures implementing a requirement, because right so many students, all of the research and all of us feel it in our bones. Students don't drop out students are pushed out of education. One of my dear friends and mentors Dr subini Anima has a book called disability critical race theory. And she talks about how black and brown kids are overly represented in special ed, and are underrepresented and gifted programs. Why is that our teachers are racist and you all saw that video of that white math teacher that white woman, who was playing native and who was mocking native American communities and indigenous communities. Well these teachers are grading you. They are deciding if you're going to go to the gifted program or the AP classes advanced placement classes. So we don't have time to mentor you or not. And so that racism is there. So we got up, we got to identify it. We got to identify that, you know, kids are being pushed out when they don't see their when we don't see our histories. We don't see the issues that we care about, you know, imagining a world where we take care of ourselves, you know, access to food housing care love community, and just more community in the schools more caring at each other, caring about each other. If we don't have that students are going to continue to be pushed out. And at the higher education level as well. I, you know, Filipino professors are probably like less than 3% less than 2% of higher education faculty. There's less black faculty, indigenous faculty, Asian American faculty. So pushing for more critical race theory in higher ed and K 12 will hopefully promote that pipeline you know you can be a professor someday you can teach your families. You can write a history that is not in the books you can write that book. I'm currently in the works of getting some book publications hopefully soon wish me luck. But yes, that is my guidance is yes to critical race theory, but also a critical training of the teachers, because we can't have teachers wish you watch you teaching this. You know they need to name that white supremacy is tied to ableism, you know colonizers came to this land and viewed us as not as people, and they enslaved the indigenous people here, they enslaved Filipinos. You know Filipinos landed in more obey California in the late 1500s, we've been here, and we were here because we were enslaved by the Spanish. So you know people don't know this stuff. So I'm all about teaching it, but we got to train the teachers to teach it right, because you know we don't want kids to feel further alienated and isolated and pushed out of K 12 and higher ed. So looking towards what you're going to be doing in your future you're applying for. This is my question, by the way, for new jobs. Where do you see yourself in terms of you teach so many different subjects. Where ideally do you see yourself teaching you know what subject area. And can you tell us a little bit more about what that might look like. You know that's always a difficult question, and, and you know intersectionality addresses this because racism isn't operating alone, it operates alongside ableism, sexism. And it operates alongside cis heterosexism transphobia homophobia. So right when when my Philippine X communities were colonized when our indigenous black and other people of color communities were colonized colonizers brought with them. They were treating women as property, treating, you know, just violently erasing LGBTQ people, gender creativity gender fluidity. Erasing queer people. And so it is all like all of my work is super intersectional. So it's hard to choose right like if someone told me. There are three groups to join for like let's say like, you know, you open up a group after this and they're like okay there's a student there's a staff and faculty of color group. There is a LGBTQ group, and there is a disability group. Which one will you go in. And that's hard, because I can't because, because I'm all of them right those are all of my identities. My research is intersectional queer critical race feminist studies. So I think I could make a home in all of them. And I have taught in all of them. And, you know, us intersectional people who are about these intersectional issues. We're pushing, you know, we're pushing and challenging ethnic studies like hey, get rid of your sexism, and get rid of your sister heterosexism, like ethnic studies why do you continue to cite, you know, cis hetero males like they're a bunch of amazing women of color scholars and trans women scholars women of color scholars and indigenous scholars like. So we're challenging these fields within the field of women's studies women's gender sexuality studies. You know we're saying hey you know focus on trans people focus on neurodivergent issues focus on sick and disabled issues. We're trying to continue with push. I'm trying to get us home, you know, home to who we really are, because every single one of us in this room live intersectionality whether we, whether we admit it or not we are all influenced by race gender sexuality disability and how it comes by histories within our own families and communities of indigenous resistance and colonization. We all have some sort of experience if we look for it that our families have encountered racism or perpetuated it. You know, anti blackness was unfortunately perpetuated in my family, and I'm doing my best to unlearn it. So, I, so yeah Karen, oh my gosh I could see myself in all the fields. So that's all that I can't choose. You know I can't be cut up into little pieces of this is all of me, and I hope someone can accept me for for my full me and my, and how my communities are interconnected. We're not the separate categories, because we actually are all connected. Thank you for that. I have another question in the Q&A, which is, what is your favorite thing about your Phillipinex history and identity. It's a hard one. So, someone, you know, food. I love, you know, lumpia, and I love fun set and obey. And you know, it's one of those, I do think, you know, food, the simple sharing of food, tea. And, you know, just, I love how someone in the chat said, you know, let's watch a movie or let's watch an anime and analyze it together. I think those are the things that are going to bring our world together, because we got to break bread together and share that you know we're actually family. And you know I know I focus a lot of my conversation on black, indigenous and people of color, but we need our white allies, like white allies are our family as well and need to acknowledge the pain that has happened, and that we are working to end that pain. So, you know, I've been teaching at WSU, UW, Western here, and I bring my students lumpia. I cook lumpia for them, green tea cookies, ube cookies, and immediately, you know, just the tensions, everyone like, relaxes. I think that's what we need more in our world is that disability justice that let's rest together let's joy together let's laugh let's eat, and then it makes it easier. You know to talk about those hard conversations like hey you know that racist thing you said the other day, or that you did. And then they know that I'm coming. You know my students hopefully know that when we have these difficult conversations together it's out of love. You know and I admit, like, I grew up with so much anti blackness. I'm unlearning that I'm trying to do better. And then when we eat together when we laugh together when we over anime over what we love Pikachu. It just, it helps us relax, and then we can better, you know, talk about these issues. So Filipino ride lump yet forever. Edwina yes you can join my class. Thank you. And, yes my Le Lupa, Lupe. Karen, I think you're on mute. There was a question about you talked about some about indigenous people in Washington, and I think Idaho. Can you clarify about that. So, if you look at Maria pp roots book Filipino Americans, there should be a chapter in there that shares how, you know, Washington was, you know colonized later in the game. My chair of my women's gender sexuality studies program at Western Washington University actually does a indigenous tour history tour of Bellingham Washington, and Bellingham Washington was colonized like 1880s. So, just, you know, a little bit 100 years ago, it used to be 100% native, according to Dr. Joshua Saretty, and then now it's less than 2% native. That is a very violent history, and that is very real. And so the Coast Salish people, the Neemee poo people. I've done research with Neemee poo people in Eastern Washington and Idaho, but we share different yet connected histories of colonization, because the very same US Washington and Idaho soldiers that colonized Coast Salish and Neemee poo peoples of Washington and Idaho, during the 1880s, went over to the Philippines during the 1890s to colonize us, and they labeled this isn't the soldiers diaries. They labeled Filipino Americans more violent, more savage, more barbaric. In comparison to, you know, they didn't call to Coast Salish and Neemee poo people. So, we share a common history that, you know, different yet shared that our communities, you know, and this is where ableism comes in. They already viewed us as not human, as less, as not intelligent, as not capable. And even though, you know, people say they're not racist today, or not ableist, it's just the way someone treats you, you know, like if someone is talking down at you, or someone doesn't believe in you to to accomplish something, you're one of your dreams. Like that is ableism, because they're believing that you are less, or that you're more dangerous, or, you know, you're not qualified. So that is what the story is with the Washington and Idaho soldiers. And people don't, you know, my grandma, she passed, unfortunately passed away of COVID last year. But you know, she's living history, like she survived World War II. And it was my grandparents' parents that they were systemically killed by Spanish priests, because they were protesting violence. And so all of this, like, you know, they always say like it in the history books, they kind of make it sound like a long time ago. But it's actually very alive today. Like, Bellingham, it was just 100 or so years ago, 100% native. So our communities are more connected than we think. Thank you, Dr. Aboustan. I know we are approaching the end of our time together and there are actually a lot of great questions that folks have in the chat. But this, it's hard to choose one question. Let's see. Okay, this is a fun question. Someone asked, who is your favorite Pokemon and favorite bending ability? Oh my gosh. Thank you for whoever asked that question. You're amazing. My favorite Pokemon is Celebi. I think Celebi, oh my gosh, I'm forgetting, but, but they're like this little green like kind of look like a mouse. And they're like kind of like celery, like they're green. And they only show up during times of peace and environmental sustainability. So they're from the future. And like they will show up when we're living in a world of peace and environmental sustainability. So I love Celebi because right it's so Celebi is disability justice because right let's work towards that world where we all love ourselves we love each other there's peace. There's sustainability. We're taking care of each other we're resting. We have joy. So Celebi, but also of course I love Charmander Bulbasaur Squirtle. I love the starter pack, the starter squad Pikachu and Eevee. And then my bending. I'm, you know, I'm wearing green. I'm totally an earth bender, because I have a lot of anxiety flying on a plane and I have a lot of like claustrophobia and OCD it's actually always scary for me to fly in a plane like I will cry. And that's why I have my service dog Milo. He helps me, you know, with my PTSD anxiety chronic body, mind pain. But I need to I'm like Toph Bayfong that I need to keep my feet on the ground like I cannot fly an oppa. We're nerding out here so basically I'm an earth bender I love I love my Pothos plants I love my plants. And I cannot be in the air I need I need my feet on the ground. So yeah, I'm like Toph Bayfong. Everyone avatar the last airbender and Pokemon, get on it, and also the dragon prince, it's from the same creator as avatar. My dog is two years old, and he was fully trained by the by the prisoners at Othello Ridge corrections. He's a sweet baby, and he came with me on campus. I see my dog Milo he's a black Labradoral I see him more as like, um, more as someone who make sure I'm okay he he helps take care of me. That's my family that helps take care of me. This concludes today's presentation. Again, thank you so much Dr Paul, Lena Paulina, a boost on for your wisdom and powerful message.