 Gaslighting is certainly an insidious tactic. I'm wondering how one comes to learn such advice. Is there a handbook, or do you think that gaslighters merely act out what they've seen in their own families and or media? Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes the victim to doubt her or himself and ultimately lose her or his own self of perception, identity, and self-worth. It can occur in personal relationships such as verbal, emotional, and or physical hostility from one partner to another. At the workplace, when a supervisor regularly and unfairly berates his or her employees or over an entire nation when commercial advertising or public figures make pronouncements that are clearly contrary to the good of society. Gaslighting can be learned from family, media, and or societal norms. It is a phenomenon that's becoming ever more pervasive in our society today, which is why I wrote my book, How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters and Stop Psychological Bullying. In your article, you asserted that gaslighters create negative narratives that are damaging to the gaslightee. Are there instances where gaslighters use flattery to gain control over their victims, i.e. exaggerating or overstating someone's beauty, intelligence, or talent when the opposite is obvious? Gaslighting is predominantly a negative and destructive trait. Some gaslighters may occasionally use flattery or other forms of positive reinforcement as a manipulative tactic. When the victim's guard is down, the next round of gaslighting may begin. Emotional confusion appears to be the base of a gaslighter's agenda, and I can understand how this could work well on someone who does not trust their own judgment. However, does this type of emotional confusion chip away at those who do trust themselves? Those who trust and have a good sense of themselves can be more immune to gaslighting. However, gaslighters tend to persist in their coercion as long as you're in their orbit. Like psychological warfare, by keeping up with negativity, the gaslighter can eventually wear down their victim. Just as a physically healthy person can get sick by standing next to someone with the flu, an emotionally healthy person can be infected with a negative contagion spread by a gaslighter. When someone is aware of gaslighting tactics, do you believe they can still be gaslighted? Probably, yes, at least to some extent. If one has regular contact with a gaslighter, when one is repeatedly exposed to negativity, manipulation, and coercion, it's hard not to be affected. How can an individual guard against self-doubt in these type of situations? There are many tips to guard against being gaslighted in a relationship. One of the most important ideas is to keep a healthy distance whenever possible. It's also crucial to learn how to communicate affirmatively to yourself and with a gaslighter to minimize the impact of being gaslighted. Are gaslighters always cognizant of what they're doing, or is it possible that one can gaslight others unconsciously? Many gaslighters purposely want to dominate and control an individual or a group. That said, there are other times when a gaslighter is unaware of his or her destructive behavior. An example would be someone who consistently makes derogatory sexist, racist, and homophobic slurs because that was how this individual was raised, but is oblivious to the hurtfulness of such remarks. I love that you mentioned co-dependent relationships in your article. Would you say that persons who do not suffer from co-dependency are less likely to be the victim of gaslighting, or are all people equally susceptible? It takes two people for gaslighting to work, the gaslighter and the victim. As soon as the victim decides she or he will no longer accept the old treatment, the process of change begins. This is sometimes easier said than done because of the co-dependent factor, but it is definitely doable. It often takes critical astuteness to spot and protect oneself from gaslighting, be it in a romantic or family relationship at the workplace or in society at large. You mentioned that giving false hope is a tactic that abusers use to gaslight. Would it be safe to assume that gaslighting only works if there is a rotation of abusive behavior and superficial kindness? Is this cycle a perpetual hook that allows gaslighting and abuse to take place? While some gaslighters employ the false hope tactic, others do not bother with it. Many toxic and abusive relationships are that way on an almost daily basis. You stated that a gaslighter seeks to exploit his or her victims at will to expand his power for personal gain. While all gaslighters might not be narcissists, do you think all narcissists are gaslighters? Gaslighting and narcissism are different traits with certain overlaps. Both can be egocentric, manipulative and coercive. Whereas narcissists tend to focus on self-absorbed, selfish machinations to use others, many gaslighters fixate on power and control to dominate others. Someone who has strong pathologies of both narcissism and gaslighting is toxic and dysfunctional at best, and hardly dangerous at worst. Please discuss your books, How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters and Stop Psychological Bullying, and How to Successfully Handle Narcissists and Where to Purchase. I wrote How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters and Stop Psychological Bullying, and How to Successfully Handle Narcissists because as a professor, trainer and coach, I have met so many people who suffer from toxic relationships. These books include many practical communication tips and assertive strategies on how to handle gaslighters and narcissists. The publications are available at nipreston.com forward slash new forward slash publications. And this interview contains excerpts from my book, How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters and Stop Psychological Bullying, which is registered with the US Copyright Office. While gaslighters seek to confuse, control and dominate, one should definitely consider distancing him or herself from dealing with such individuals. While I know it can be difficult and quite uncomfortable to place distance between yourself and someone you love or like in personal relationships or friendships, staying close is far more damaging when your mental health is at stake. Remain aware that your feelings and experiences are valid and no one possesses the power or authority to invalidate you or your perceptions. Trust yourself as best as you can and always remember that authentic love does not devalue another human being. However, if you're not quite ready to disengage, it's okay. Luckily, we have professionals like Preston need to help us figure things out. If you enjoyed this video, be sure to check out our website and other social media for more content. And don't forget to subscribe. Thanks for watching.