 Dead Souls Part 1 Chapter 7 Section 2 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Dead Souls by Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol, translated by DJ Hogarth Part 1 Chapter 7 Section 2 Approaching the first desk which he happened to encounter, Chichikov inquired of the two young officials who were seated at it, whether they would kindly tell him where business relating to surf and denture was transacted. Of what nature precisely is your business? countered one of the youthful officials as he turned himself round. I desire to make an application. In connection with the purchase? Yes. But as I say, I should like first to know where I can find the desk devoted to such business. Is it here or elsewhere? You must state what it is you have bought and for how much. Then we shall be happy to give you the information. Chichikov perceived that the official's motive was merely one of curiosity, as often happens when young Chinnovnik desired to cut a more important and imposing figure than is rightfully theirs. Look here, youngsters. He said, I know for a fact that all surf business, no matter to what value, is transacted at one desk alone. Consequently, I again request you to direct me to that desk. Of course, if you do not know your business, I can easily ask someone else. To this, the Chinnovniks made no reply beyond pointing towards a corner of the room where an elderly man appeared to be engaged in sorting some papers. Accordingly, Chichikov and Manilov threaded their way in his direction through the desks, whereupon the elderly man became violently busy. Would you mind telling me, said Chichikov, bowing, whether this is the desk for surf affairs? The elderly man raised his eyes and said stiffly, this is not the desk for surf affairs. Where is it, then? In the surf department. And where might the surf department be? In charge of Ivan Antonovich. And where is Ivan Antonovich? The elderly man pointed to another corner of the room where Chichikov and Manilov next directed their steps. As they advanced, Ivan Antonovich cast an eye backwards and viewed them as scants. Then, with renewed ardour, he resumed his work of writing. Would you mind telling me, said Chichikov, bowing, whether this is the desk for surf affairs? It appeared as though Ivan Antonovich had not heard. So completely did he bury himself in his papers and return no reply. Only it became plain that he was at least of an age of discretion, and not one of your Jejun chatterboxes and harem scarums. For although his hair was still thick and black, he had long ago passed his fortieth year. His whole face tended towards the nose. It was what, in common parlance, is known as a pitcher mug. Would you mind telling me, repeated Chichikov, whether this is the desk for surf affairs? That it is, said Ivan Antonovich, again lowering his jug-shaped jowl and resuming his writing. Then I should like to transact the following business. From various landowners in this canton I have purchased a number of peasants for transfer. Here is the purchase list, and it needs but to be registered. Have you also the vendors here? Some of them. And from the rest I have obtained powers of attorney. And have you your statement of application? Yes. I desire, indeed it is necessary for me to do so, to hasten matters a little. Could the affair therefore be carried out through today? Today? Oh, dear no, said Ivan Antonovich. Before that can be done you must furnish me with further proofs that no impediments exist. Then to expedite matters. Let me say that Ivan Gregorievich, the president of the council, is a very intimate friend of mine, possibly, said Ivan Antonovich without enthusiasm. But Ivan Gregorievich alone will not do. It is customary to have others as well. Yes. But the absence of others will not altogether invalidate the transaction. I too have been in the service and know how things can be done. You had better go and see Ivan Gregorievich, said Ivan Antonovich more mildly. Should he give you an order addressed to whom it may concern, we shall soon be able to settle the matter. Upon that Chichikov pulled from his pocket a paper, and laid it before Ivan Antonovich. At once the latter covered it with a book. Chichikov again attempted to show it to him, but with the movement of his head Ivan Antonovich signified that it was unnecessary. A clerk, he added, will now conduct you to Ivan Gregorievich's room. Upon that, one of the toilers in the service of Themis, a zealot who offered her such heartfelt sacrifices that his coat had burst at the elbows and lacked a lining, escorted our friends, even as Virgil had once escorted Dante, to the apartment of the presence. In the sanctum were some massive armchairs, a table laden with two or three fat books, and a large looking glass. Lastly, in, apparently, sun-like isolation, there was seated at the table the president. Upon arriving at the door of the apartment, our modern Virgil seemed to have become so overwhelmed with awe that, without daring even to intrude a foot, he turned back, and, in doing so, once more exhibited a back as shiny as a mat, and, having in hearing to it, in one spot, a chicken's feather. As soon as the two friends had entered the hall of the presence, they perceived that the president was not alone, but, on the contrary, had seated by his side Sobacovic, whose form had hitherto been concealed by the intervening mirror. The newcomer's entry evoked sundry exclamations, and the pushing back of a pair of government chairs, as the voluminous sleeved Sobacovic rose into view from behind the looking glass. Chichikov the president received with an embrace. And for a while, the hall of the presence resounded with osculatory salutations, as mutually the pair inquired after one another's health. It seemed that both had lately had a touch of that pain under the waistband which comes from a sedentary life. Also it seemed that the president had just been conversing with Sobacovic on the subject of sales of souls, since he now proceeded to congratulate Chichikov on the same, a preceding which rather embarrassed our hero, seeing that Manilov and Sobacovic, two of the vendors, and persons with whom he had bargained in the strictest privacy, were now confronting one another direct. However, Chichikov duly thanked the president, and then turning to Sobacovic, inquired after his health. Thank God I have nothing to complain of, replied Sobacovic, which was true enough, seeing that a piece of iron would have caught a cold and taken to sneezing sooner than would that uncoothly fashioned landowner. Ah, yes, you have always had good health, have you not? put in the president. Your late father was equally strong. Yes, he even went out bear hunting alone, replied Sobacovic. I think that you too could worse a bear if you were to try a tussle with him, rejoined the president. Oh, no, said Sobacovic. My father was a stronger man than I am. Then with a sigh, the speaker added, but nowadays there are no such men as he. What is even a life like mine worth? Then you do not have a comfortable time of it, exclaimed the president. No, far from it, rejoined Sobacovic, shaking his head. Judge for yourself, Ivan Grigoryovic, I am 50 years old, yet never in my life had been ill except for an occasional carbuncle or boil. That is not a good sign. Sooner or later I shall have to pay for it. And he relapsed into melancholy. Just listen to the fellow, was Chichikov's and the president's joint inward comment. What on earth has he to complain of? I have a letter for you, Ivan Grigoryovic, went on Chichikov aloud, as he produced from his pocket Plushkin's epistle. From whom, inquired the president. Having broken the seal, he exclaimed, why? It is from Plushkin to think that he is still alive. What a strange world it is. He used to be such a nice fellow, and now he is a kur, concluded Sobacovic, as well as a miser who starves his serfs to death. Allow me a moment, said the president. And then he read the letter through. When he had finished, he added, Yes, I am quite ready to act as Plushkin's attorney. When do you wish to purchase deeds to be registered, Montseer Chichikov, now or later? And now, if you please, replied Chichikov. Indeed, I beg that, if possible, the affair may be concluded today, since tomorrow I wish to leave the town. I have brought with me both the forms of indenture and my statement of application. Very well. Nevertheless, we cannot let you depart so soon. The indenture shall be completed today, but you must continue your sojourn in our midst. I will issue the necessary orders at once. So saying, he opened the door into the general office, where the clerks looked like a swarm of bees around a honeycomb, if I may like an affairs of government to such an article. Is Ivan Antonovich here? asked the president. Yes, replied a voice from within. Then sent him here. Upon that, the pitcher faced Ivan Antonovich, made his appearance in the doorway, and bowed. Take these indentures, Ivan Antonovich, said the president, and see that they, but first I would ask you to remember, put in Sobekiewicz, that witnesses ought to be in attendance, not less than two on behalf of either party. Let us therefore send for the public prosecutor, who has little to do, and has even that little done for him by his chief clerk Zolotucha. The inspector of the medical department is also a man of leisure and likely to be at home, if he has not gone out to a card party. Others also there are all the men who cumber the ground for nothing. Quite so, quite so, agreed the president, and at once dispatched a clerk to fetch the person's named. Also, requested Chichakoff, I should be glad if you would send for the accredited representative of a certain lady landowner with whom I have done business. He is the son of a father Cyril and a clerk in your offices. Certainly we shall call him here, replied the president. Everything shall be done to meet your convenience, and I forbid you to present any of our officials with a gratuity. That is a special request on my part. No friend of mine ever pays a copper. With that he gave Ivan Antonovich the necessary instructions, and though they scarcely seem to meet with that functionary's approval, upon the president the purchase deeds had evidently procured an excellent impression, more especially since the moment when he had perceived the sum total to amount to nearly a hundred thousand rubles. For a moment or two he gazed into Chichakoff's eyes with an expression of profound satisfaction. Then he said, well done, Polyvonovich, you have indeed made a nice haul. That is so, replied Chichakoff. Excellent business, yes, excellent business. I too conceive that I could not well have done better. The truth is that never until a man has driven home the piles of his life, structure upon the lasting bottom, instead of upon the wayward chimeras of youth, will his aims in life assume a definite end. And that said, Chichakoff went on to deliver himself a very telling indictment of liberalism and our modern young men. Yet in his words there seemed to lurk a certain lack of conviction. Somehow he seemed secretly to be saying to himself, my good sir, you are talking the most absolute rubbish. And nothing but rubbish. Nor did he even throw a glance at Sobakovich and Manilov. It was as though he were uncertain what he might not encounter in their expression. Yet he need not have been afraid. Never once did Sobakovich's face move a muscle. And as for Manilov, he was too much under the spell of Chichakoff's eloquence to do ought beyond nod his approval at intervals, and strike the kind of attitude which is assumed by lovers of music when a lady singer has, in rivalry of an accompanying violin, produced a note whereof the shrillness would exceed even the capacity of a bird's throttle. But why not tell Ivan Gorgorjevich precisely what you have bought, inquired Sobakovich of Chichakoff? And why, Ivan Gorgorjevich, do you not ask Sobakovich of Chichakoff precisely what his purchases have consisted of? What a splendid lot of serfs, to be sure. I myself have sold him my wheel, right, Michiev. What? You have sold him Michiev? exclaimed the president. I know the man well. He is a splendid craftsman, and on one occasion made me a droshki, a sort of low four-wheeled carriage. Only, well, lately didn't you tell me that he is dead? That Michiev is dead, re-echoed Sobakovich, coming perilously near to laughing. Oh, dear no. That was his brother. Michiev himself is very much alive, and in even better health than he used to be. Any day he could knock you up a britchka such as you could not procure even in Moscow. However, he is now bound to work for only one master. Indeed, a splendid craftsman, repeated the president. My only wonder is that you can have brought yourself to part with him. Then think you that Michiev is the only serf with whom I have parted. Nay, for I have parted also with prokastepan, my carpenter, with melushkin, my bricklayer, and with teljetnikov, my bootmaker. Yes, the whole lot I have sold. Enter the president's inquiry why he had so acted, seeing that the serfs named were all skilled workers and indispensable to a household. Sobakovich replied that a mere whim had led him to do so, and thus the sale had owned its origin to a piece of folly. Then he hung his head as though already repenting of his rash act, and added, although a man of gray hairs, I have not yet learned wisdom. But, inquired the president further, how comes it about, Polyvanovich, that you have purchased peasants apart from land? Is it for transformant elsewhere that you need them? Yes. Very well then, that is quite another matter. To what province of the country? To the province of Kursan. Indeed. That region contains some splendid land, said the president, whereupon he proceeded to expatiate on the fertility of the Kursan pastures. And have you much land there? He continued. Yes, quite sufficient to accommodate the serfs whom I have purchased. And is there a river on the estate, or a lake? Both. After this reply, Chichikov involuntarily threw a glance at Sobakovich. And though the landowner's face was as motionless as ever, the others seemed to detect in it, you liar. Don't tell me that you own both river and a lake, as well as the land which you say you do. Whilst the foregoing conversation had been in progress, various witnesses had been arriving on the scene. They consisted of the constantly blinking public prosecutor, the inspector of the medical department, and others. All, to quote Sobakovich, with some of them, however, Chichikov was altogether unacquainted, since certain substitutes and supernumeraries had to be pressed into the service from among the ranks of the subordinate staff. There also arrived, in answer to the summons, not only the son of Father Cyril before mentioned, but also Father Cyril himself. Each witness appended to a signature a full list of his dignities and qualifications. One man in printed characters, another in flowing hand, a third in topsy-turvy characters of a kind never before seen in the Russian alphabet, and so forth. Meanwhile, our friend Ivan Antonovich comported himself with not a little address. And after the indentures had been signed, docketed, and registered, Chichikov found himself called upon to pay only the nearest trifle in the way of government percentages and fees for publishing the transaction in the official gazette. The reason of this was that the president had given orders that only half the usual charges were to be exacted from the present purchaser, the remaining half being somehow indebted to the account of another applicant for surf registration. And now, said Ivan Gregorievich, when all was completed, we need only to wet the bargain. For that, too, I am ready, said Chichikov. Do you but name the hour. If, in return for your most agreeable company, I were not to set a few champagne corks flying, I should indeed be in default. But we are not going to let you charge yourself for anything whatsoever. We must provide the champagne for you are our guest, and it is for us, it is our duty, it is our bound in obligation to entertain you. Look here, gentlemen, let us adjourn to the house of the chief of police. He is the magician who needs but to wink when passing a fishmongers or a wine merchants. Not only shall we farewell at his place, but also we shall get a game of wist. To this proposal, no one had any objections to offer. For the merest mention of the fish shop aroused the witness's appetite. Consequently, the ceremony being over, there was a general reaching for hats and caps. As the party were passing through the general office, Ivan Antonovich whispered in Chichikov's ear with the courteous inclination of his jug-shaped physiognomy. You have given a hundred thousand rubles for the serfs, but have paid me only a trifle for my trouble. Yes, replied Chichikov with a similar whisper. But what sort of serfs do you suppose them to be? They are a poor useless lot and not worth even half the purchase money. This gave Ivan Antonovich to understand that the visitor was a man of strong character, a man from whom nothing more was to be expected. Why have you gone and purchased souls from Plushkin? whispered Sobakovich in Chichikov's other ear. Why did you go and add the woman Voroboye to your list? retorted Chichikov. Voroboye? Who is Voroboye? The woman Elizabeth Voroboye. Elizabeth, not Elizabethah. I added no such name, replied Sobakovich, and straight away joined the other guests. At length the party arrived at the residence of the chief of police. The latter proved indeed a man of spells. For no sooner had he learnt what was afoot than he summoned a brisk young constable, whispered in his ear, adding leconically, you understand, do you not? And brought it about that during the time that the guests were cutting for partners at wist in an unjoining room. The dining table became laden with sturgeon, caviar, salmon, herrings, cheese, smoked tongue, fresh roe, and a potted variety of the same, all procured from the local fish market, and reinforced with additions from the host's own kitchen. The fact was that the worthy chief of police filled the office of a sort of father and general benefactor to the town, and that he moved among the citizens as though they constituted a part and parcel of his own family, and watched over their shops and markets as though those establishments were merely his own private larder. Indeed, it would be difficult to say. So thoroughly did he perform his duties in this respect, whether the post most fitted him or he the post. Matters were also so arranged that though his income more than doubled that of his predecessors, he had never lost the affection of his fellow townsmen. In particular, did the tradesmen love him, since he was never above standing Godfather to their children or dining at their tables. True, he had differences of opinion with them, and serious differences at that, but always these were skillfully adjusted by his slapping the offended ones jovially on the shoulder, drinking a glass of tea with them, promising to call at their houses and play a game of chess, asking after their belongings, and, should he learn that a child of theirs was ill, prescribing the proper medicine. In short, he bore the reputation of being a very good fellow. On perceiving the feast to be ready, the host proposed that his guests should finish their wist after luncheon, whereupon all proceeded to the room whence for some time passed, an agreeable odor had been tickling the nostrils of those present, and towards the door of which Sobakiewicz in particular had been glancing since the moment when he had caught sight of a huge sturgeon reposing on the sideboard. After a glass full of warm, all of colored vodka a piece, vodka of the tent to be seen only in the species of Siberian stone whereof seals are cut. The company applied themselves to knife and forkwork, and, in doing so, events their several characteristics and tastes. For instance, Sobakiewicz, disdaining lesser trifles, tackled the large sturgeon, and, during the time that his fellow guests were eating minor commestibles and drinking and talking, contrived to consume more than a quarter of the whole fish, so that, on the host remembering the creature, and, with fork in hand, leading the way in its direction and saying, what, gentlemen, think you of this striking product of nature? There ensued the discovery that of the said product of nature there remained little beyond the tail, while Sobakiewicz, with an arrow, though at least he had not eaten it, was engaged in plunging his fork into a much more diminutive piece of fish, which happened to be resting on an adjacent platter. After his divorce from the sturgeon, Sobakiewicz ate and drank no more, but sat frowning and blinking in an armchair. Apparently the host was not a man who believed in sparing the wine, for the toast drunk were innumerable. The first toast, as the reader may guess, was quaffed to the health of the new landowner of Kersen, the second to the prosperity of his peasants, and their safe transferment, and the third to the beauty of his future wife, a compliment which brought to our hero's lips a flickering smile. Lastly, he received from the company a pressing, as well as an unanimous, invitation to extend his stay in town for at least another fortnight, and in the meanwhile, to allow a wife to be found for him. Quite so, agreed the president. Fight us tooth and nail though you may, we intend to have you married. You have happened upon us by chance, and you shall have no reason to repent of it. We are in earnest on this subject. But why should I fight you tooth and nail, said Chichikov, smiling. Marriage would not come amiss to me, were I but provided with a betrothed. Then a betrothed you shall have. Why not? We will do as you wish. Very well, assented Chichikov. Bravo, bravo! The company shouted. Long live Paul Ivanovich. Hurrah, hurrah! And with that, everyone approached to clink glasses with him, and he readily accepted the compliment, and accepted it many times in succession. Indeed, as the hours passed on, the hilarity of the company increased yet further, and more than once the president, a man of great urbanity went thoroughly in his cups, embraced the chief guest of the day with the heartfelt words, my dearest fellow, my own most precious of friends. Nay, he even started to crack his fingers to dance around Chichikov's chair and to sing snatches of a popular song. To the champagne succeeded Hungarian wine, which had the effect of still further heartening and enlivening the company. By this time, everyone had forgotten about Wist and given himself up to shouting and disputing. Every conceivable subject was discussed, including politics and military affairs. And in this connection, guests voiced Jejun opinions for the expressions of which they would at any other time have soundly spanked their offspring. Chichikov, like the rest, had never before felt so gay and imagining himself really and truly to be the landowner of Kersen, spoke of various improvements in agriculture, of the three field system of tillage. Begin footnote. The system by which, in annual rotation, two thirds of a given area are cultivated, while the remaining third is left fallow. End footnote. And of the beautific felicity of a union between two kindred souls. Also, he started to recite poetry to Sobakiewicz, who blinked as he listened, for he greatly desired to go to sleep. At length, the guests of the evening realized that matters had gone far enough so begged to be given a lift home and was accommodated with the public prosecutor's Luckily, the driver of the vehicle was a practiced man at his work, for, while driving with one hand, he succeeded in leaning backwards and, with the other, holding Chichikov securely in his place. Arrived at the end, our hero continued babbling awhile about a flaxen-haired damsel with rosy lips and a dimple in her right cheek, about villages of his in Kersen, and about the amount of his capital. Nay, he even issued senoral instructions that cellophane should go and muster the peasants about to be transferred and make a complete and detailed inventory of them. For a while, cellophane listened in silence, then he left the room and instructed Petruszka to help the Baron to undress. As it happened, Chichikov's boots had no sooner been removed than he managed to perform the rest of his toilet without assistance, to roll onto the bed, which creaked terribly as he did so, and to sink into sleep in every way worthy of a landowner of Kersen. Meanwhile, Petruszka had taken his master's coat and trousers of bilberry-colored check into the corridor, where, spreading them over a clothes's horse, he started to flick and to brush them and to fill the whole corridor with dust. Just as he was about to replace them in his master's room, he happened to glance over the railing of the gallery and saw cellophane returning from the stable. Glances were exchanged and in an instant the pair had arrived at an instinctive understanding, an understanding to the effect that the Baron was sound asleep, and that, therefore, one might consider one's own pleasure a little. Accordingly, Petruszka proceeded to restore the coat and trousers to their appointed places and then descended the stairs, whereafter he and cellophane left the house together, not a word passed between them as to the object of their expedition. On the contrary, they talked solely of extraneous subjects, yet their walk did not take them far. It took them only to the other side of the street and thins into an establishment which immediately confronted the inn. Entering a mean, dirty courtyard covered with glass, they passed thins into a cellar where a number of customers receded around small wooden tables. What, thereafter, was done by cellophane and Petruszka, God alone knows. At all events, within an hour's time, they issued arm-in-arm in profound silence, yet remained markedly assiduous to one another and ever ready to help one another around an awkward corner, still linked together, never once releasing their mutual hold. They spent the next quarter of an hour in attempting to negotiate the stairs of the inn, but at length, even that ascent had been mastered, and they proceeded further on their way, halting before his mean little pallet, Petruszka stood awhile in his thought. His difficulty was how best to assume a recumbent position. Eventually, he laid down on his face with his legs trailing over the floor, after which cellophane also stretched himself upon the pallet, with his head resting upon Petruszka's stomach and his mind wholly oblivious to the fact that he ought not have been sleeping there at all, but in the servants' quarters or in the stable beside his horses. Scarcely a moment had passed before the pair were plunged in slumber and admitting the most raucous snores, to which their master, next door, responded with snores of a whistling and nasal order. Indeed, before long, everyone in the inn had followed their soothing example, and the whole street lay plunged in complete restfulness. Only in the window of the room of the newly arrived lieutenant from Riazon did a light remain burning. Evidently, he was a devotee of boots, for he had purchased four pairs and was now trying on a fifth. Several times he approached the bed with a view to taking off the boots and retiring to rest, but each time he failed, for the reason that the boots were so alluring in their make, that he had no choice but to lift up first one foot, and then the other, for the purpose of scanning their elegant welts. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Dead Souls by Nikolai Vasilevich-Gogl translated by DJ Hogarth Part 1 Chapter 8 Read by Michael Macedonia It was not long before Chichkov's purchases had become the talk of the town, and various were the opinions expressed as to whether or not it was expedient to procure peasants for transferment. Indeed, such was the interest taken by certain citizens in the matter that they advised the purchaser to provide himself and his convoy with an escort in order to ensure their safe arrival at the appointed destination. But though Chichkov thanked the donors of this advice for the same and declared that he should be very glad in case of need to unveil himself of it, he declared also that there was no real need for an escort, seeing that the peasants whom he had purchased were exceptionally peace-loving folk, and that being themselves consensing parties to the transferment, they would undoubtedly prove in every way tractable. One particularly good result of this advertisement of his scheme was that he came to rank as neither more nor less than a millionaire. Consequently, much as the inhabitants had liked our hero in the first instance, as seen in Chapter 1, they now liked him more than ever. As a matter of fact, they were citizens of an exceptionally quiet, good-natured, easy-going disposition, and some of them were even well-educated. For instance, the president of the local council could recite the whole of Zhukovsky's Ludmilla by heart, and give such an impressive rendering of the passage, the pine forest was asleep and the valley at rest, as well as the exclamation that one felt as he did so that the pine forest and the valley really were as he described them. The effect was also further heightened by the manner in which, at such moments, he assumed the most portentious frown. For his part, the postmaster went in more for philosophy, and diligently perused such works as Jung's Night Thoughts and Eckhart Hausen's A Key to the Mysteries of Nature, of which latter work he would make copious extracts, though no one had the slightest notion what they referred to. For the rest he was a witty, flurried little individual and much addicted to a practice of what he called embellishing, whatsoever he had to say, a feat which he performed with the aid of such, by the way, phrases as, my dear sir, my good so-and-so, you know, you understand, you may imagine, relatively speaking, for instance, and etc., of which phrases he would add sackfuls to his speech, he could also embellish his words by the simple expedient of half-closing, half-winking, one eye, which Trick communicated to some of his aetherical utterances quite a mordant effect. Nor were his colleagues a wit inferior to him in enlightenment. For instance, one of them made a regular practice of reading Karamsim, another of Conning the Moscow Gazette, and a third of Never Looking at a Book at All. Likewise, although they were the sort of men to whom, in their more intimate movements, their wives would very naturally address such nicknames as Toby Jug, Maumit, Fatty, Potbelly, Smutty, Kiki, and Buzz Buzz, they were men also of good heart, and very ready to extend their hospitality and their friendship, when once a guest had eaten of their bread and salt, or spent an evening in their company. Particularly, therefore, did Chichakov earn these good folks approval with his taking methods and qualities. So much so that the expression of that approval bid fair to make it difficult for him to quit the town, seeing that wherever he went, the one phrase didn't into his ears was, stay another week with us, Polyvonovich. In short, he ceased to be a free agent, but incomparably more striking was the impression, a matter of unbounded surprise, which he produced upon the ladies. Properly to explain this phenomenon, I should need to say a great deal about the ladies themselves, and to describe in the most vivid of colors their social intercourse and spiritual qualities. Yet this would be a difficult thing for me to do, since on the one hand, I should be hampered by my boundless respect for the women folk of all civil service officials, and on the other hand, well simply by the innate arduousness of the task. The ladies of N were, but no, I cannot do it. My heart has already failed me. Come, come. The ladies of N were distinguished for, but it is of no use. Somehow my pen seems to refuse to move over the paper. It seems to be weighted as with a plummet of lead. Very well, that being so, I will merely say a word or two concerning the most prominent tints of the feminine palette of N, merely a word or two concerning the outward appearance of its ladies, and a word or two concerning their more superficial characteristics. The ladies of N were preeminently what is known as presentable. Indeed, in that respect, they might have served as models to the ladies of many another town. That is to say, in whatever pertain to tone, etiquette, the intricacies of decorum, and strict observance of the prevailing mode, they surpassed even the ladies of Moscow and St. Petersburg, seeing that they dressed with taste, drew about in carriages in the latest fashions, and never went out without the escort of a footman in Gold Lace Library. Again, they looked upon a visiting card. Even upon a makeshift affair consisting of an ace of diamonds or two of clubs, as a sacred thing, so sacred that on one occasion two closely related ladies who had also been closely attached friends were known to fall out with one another over the mere fact of an omission to return a social call. Yes, in spite of the best efforts of husbands and kin's folks to reconcile the antagonists, it became clear that though all else in the world might conceivably be possible, never could the hatchet be buried between ladies who had quarreled. Over a neglected visit. Likewise, strenuous scenes used to take place over questions of precedence. Scenes of a kind which had the effect of inspiring husbands to great and knightly ideas on the subject of protecting the fair. True, never did a duel actually take place since all the husbands were officials belonging to the civil service, but at least a given combatant which strived to heed contumely upon his rival, and as we all know, this is a resource which may prove even more effectual than a duel. As regards morality, the ladies' men were nothing if not centruous, and would at once be fired with virtuous indignation when they heard of a case of vice or seduction. Nay, even to mere frailty, they would award the lash without mercy. On the other hand, should any instance of what they called third-personism occur among their own circle, it was always kept dark. Not a hint of what was going on being allowed to transpire, and even the wronged husband holding himself ready should he meet with or hear of the third person to quote in a mild and rational manner the proverb, whom concerns it that a friend should consort with friend. In addition, I may say that, like most of the female world of St. Petersburg, the ladies of N were preeminently careful and refined in their chores of words and phrases. Never did a lady say, I blew my nose, or I perspired, or I spat. No, it had to be, I relieved my nose through the expedient of wiping it with my handkerchief, and so forth. Again, to say this glass or this plate smells badly was forbidden. No, not even a hint to such an effect was to be dropped. Rather, the proper phrase in such a case was, this glass or this plate is not behaving very well or some such formula. In fact, to refine the Russian tongue the more thoroughly, something like half the words in it were cut out, which circumstance necessitated very frequent recourse to the tug of France, since the same words, if spoken in French, were another batter altogether, and one could even use blunter ones than the ones originally objected to. So much for the ladies of N, provided that one confines one's observations to the surface, yet hardly needed to be said that should one penetrate deeper than that a great deal more would come to light. At the same time, it is never very safe proceeding to peer deeply into the hearts of ladies, wherefore restricting ourselves to the foregoing superficialities let us proceed further on our way. Hitherto, the ladies had paid Chichkov no particular attention, though giving him full credit for his gentlemanly and urbane demeanor, but from the moment that there arose rumors of his being a millionaire, other qualities of his began to be canvassed. Nevertheless, not all the ladies were governed by interested motives, since it is due to the term millionaire rather than to the character the person who bears it, that the mere sound of the word exercises upon rascals, upon decent folk, and upon folk who are neither the one nor the other an undeniable influence. A millionaire suffers from the disadvantage of everywhere having to behold meanness, including the sort of meanness which, though not actually based upon calculations of self-interest, yet runs after the wealthy man with smiles and doth's hat, and begs for invitations to houses where the millionaire is known to be going to dine. That a similar inclination to meanness seized upon the ladies of N goes without saying, with the result that many a drawing room-hearted whispered that if Chichikov was not exactly a beauty, at least he was sufficiently good looking to serve for a husband, though he could have born to have been a little more rotund and stout. To that there would be added scornful references to lean husbands, and hints that they resembled toothbrushes rather than men, and many other feminine additions. Also, such crowds of feminine shoppers began to repair to the bazaar as almost to constitute a crush, and something like a procession of carriages ensued, so long grew the rank of vehicles. For their part, the tradesmen had the joy of seeing highly priced dress materials which they had bought at fairs and then been unable to dispose of, now suddenly become tradable and go off with a rush. For instance, on one occasion a lady appeared at mass in a bustle, which filled the church to an extent which led the verger on duty to bid the commoner folk withdraw to the porch, lest the lady's toilet should be soiled in the crush. Even Chichikov could not help privately remarking the attention which he aroused. On one occasion, when he returned to the inn, he found on his table a note addressed to himself. Once it had come, and who had delivered it, he failed to discover for the waiter declared that the person who had brought it had omitted to leave the name of the writer. Beginning abruptly with the words I must write to you, the letter went on to say that between a certain pair of souls there existed a bond of sympathy, and this verity the epistle further confirmed with rows of full stops to the extent of nearly half a page. Next there followed a few reflections of a correctitude, so remarkable that I have no choice but to quote them. What, I would ask, is this life of ours? inquired the writer. Tis not but a veil of woe, and what I would ask is the world. Tis not but a mob of unthinking humanity. Thereafter, incidentally remarking that she had just dropped a tear to the memory of her dear mother, who had departed this life twenty-five years ago, the presumably lady writer invited Chichkov to come forth into the wilds, and to leave forever the city where, penned in noisome haunts, folk could not even draw their breath. In conclusion, the writer gave way to unconcealed despair and wound up with the following verses. Two turtle doves to thee one day, my dust will show congealed in death, and cooing wherely they'll say, in grief and loneliness she drew her closing breath. True, the last line did not scan, but that was a trifle, since the quatrain at least conformed to the mode then prevalent. Neither signature nor date were appended to the document, but only a postscript expressing a conjecture that Chichkov's own heart would tell him who the writer was, and stating, in addition, that the said writer would be present at the governor's ball on the following night. This greatly interested Chichkov. Indeed, there was so much that was alluring and provocative of curiosity in the anonymous missive that he read it through a second time, and then a third, and finally said to himself, I should like to know who sent it. In short, he took the thing seriously and spent over an hour in considering the same. At length muttering a comment upon the epistles effervescent style, he refolded the document and committed it to his dispatch box, in company with a playbill and an invitation to a wedding, the latter of which had for the last seven years reposed in the self-same receptacle and in the self-same position. Shortly afterwards, there arrived a card of invitation to the governor's ball, already referred to. In passing, it may be said that such festivities are not infrequent phenomena in county towns, for the reason that where governors exist, there must take place balls, if from the local gentry there is to be evoked that respectful affection, which is every governor's do. Thenceforth, all extraneous thoughts and considerations were laid aside in favor of preparing for the coming function. Indeed, this conjunction of exciting and provocative motives led to Chichkoff devoting to his toilet an amount of time never witnessed since the creation of the world. Merely in the contemplation of his features in the mere, as he tried to communicate to them a succession of varying expressions, was an hour spent. First of all, he strove to make his features assume an air of dignity and importance, and then an air of humble but faintly satirical respect, and then an air of respect guiltless of any alloy whatsoever. Next, he practiced performing a series of bows to his reflection, accompanied with certain murmurs intended to bear a resemblance to a French phrase, though Chichkoff knew not a single word of the Gaelic tongue. Lastly came the performing of a series of what I might call agreeable surprises, in the shape of twitchings of the brow and lips and certain motions of the tongue. In short, he did all that a man is apt to do when he is not only alone, but also certain that he is handsome and that no one is regarding him through a chink. Finally, he tapped himself lightly on the chin and said, good old face. In the same way, when he started to dress himself for the ceremony, the level of his high spirits remain unimpaired throughout the process. That is to say, while adjusting his braces and tying his tie, he shuffled his feet in what was not exactly a dance, what might be called the entree act of a dance, which performance had the not very serious result of setting a wardrobe a rattle and causing a brush to slide from the table to the floor. Later, his entry into the ballroom produced an extraordinary effect. Everyone present came forward to meet him, some with cards in their hands, and one man even breaking off a conversation at the most interesting point, namely, the point that the inferior land court must be made responsible for everything. Yes, in spite of the responsibility of the inferior land court, the speaker cast all thoughts of it to the wind as he hurried to greet our hero. From every side resounded acclamations of welcome and Chichka felt himself engulfed in a sea of embraces. Thus, scarcely had he extricated himself from the arms of the president of the local council when he found himself just as firmly clasped in the arms of the chief of police, who in turn surrendered him to the inspector of the medical department, who in turn handed him over to the commissioner of taxes, who again committed him to the charge of the town architect. Even the governor, who hitherto had been standing among his women folk with a box of sweets in one hand and a lapdog in the other, now threw down both sweets and lapdog, the lapdog giving vent to a yelp as he did so, and added his greeting to those of the rest of the company. Indeed, not a face was there to be seen on which ecstatic delight or at all events the reflection of other people's ecstatic delight was not painted. This same expression may be discerned on the faces of subordinate officials when the newly arrived director having made his inspection, the said officials are beginning to get over their first sense of awe on perceiving that he has found much to commend and that he can even go so far as to jest and utter a few words of smiling approval. Thereupon every chinovnik responds with a smile of double strength, and those who it may be have not heard a single word of the director's speech smile out of sympathy with the rest. And even the gendarm who is posted at the distant door, a man perhaps who has never before compassed a smile but is more accustomed to dealing out blows to the populace, summons up a kind of grin, even though the grin resembles the grimace of a man who is about to sneeze after inadvertently taking an over-large pinch of snuff. To all and sundry Chichakov responded with a bow, and felt extraordinarily at ease as he did so. To right and left did he incline his head in a side-long yet unconstrained manner that was his want, and never failed to charm the beholder. As for the ladies, they clustered around him in a shiny bevy that was redolent of every species of perfume, of roses, of spring violets, and of menignette, so much so that instinctively Chichakov raised his nose to snuff the air. Likewise, the ladies' dresses displayed an endless perfusion of taste and variety, and though the majority of their wearers invinced a tendency to en bon coin, those wearers knew how to call upon art for the concealment of the fact. Confronting them, Chichakov thought to himself, which of these beauties is the brighter of the letter? Then again he snuffed the air. When the ladies had, to a certain extent, returned to their seats, he resumed his attempts to discern from glances and expressions which of them could possibly be the unknown authoress. Yet though those glances and expressions were too subtle, too insufficiently open, the difficulty in no way diminished his high spirits. Easily and gracefully did he exchange agreeable bandage with one lady, and then approach another one with the short, mincing steps usually affected by young old Danzies who are fluttering around the fair. As he turned, not without dexterity to the right and left, he kept one leg slightly dragging behind the other, like a short tail or a comma. This trick the ladies particularly admired. In short, they not only discovered in him a host of recommendations and attractions, but also began to see in his face a sort of grand, Mars-like military expression, a thing which, as we know, never fails to please the feminine eye. Certain of the ladies even took to bickering over him and on perceiving that he spent most of his time standing near the door, some of their number hastened to occupy chairs nearer to his post of vantage. In fact, when a certain Dame chanced to have the good fortune to anticipate a hated rival in the race, they very nearly ensued a most lamentable scene, which, to many of those who had been desirous of doing exactly the same thing, seemed a peculiarly horrible instance of brazen-faced audacity. So deeply did Chichikov become plunged in conversation with his fair pursuers, or rather, so deeply did those fair pursuers amesh him in the toils of small talk, which they accomplished through the expedient of asking him endless subtle riddles, which brought the sweat to his brow and attempts to guess them, that he forgot the claims of courtesy which required him, first of all, to greet his hostess. In fact, he remembered those claims only on hearing the Governor's wife herself addressing him. She had been standing before him for several minutes, and now greeted him with suave expressimo in the words, So here you are, Polivonovich. But what she said next, I am not in a position to report, for she spoke in the ultra-refined tone and vein wherein ladies and gentlemen customarily expressed themselves in higher-class novels, which have been written by experts more qualified than I am to describe salons and able to boast of some acquaintance with good society. In effect, what the Governor's wife said was that she hoped, she greatly hoped, that M. Chichikov's heart still contained a corner, even the smallest possible corner, for those whom he had so cruelly forgotten. Upon that, Chichikov turned to her and was on the point of returning a reply, at least no worse than that which would have been returned under similar circumstances by the hero of a fashionable novelette, when he stopped short, as though thunder struck. Before him, there was standing not only Madame, but also a young girl whom she was holding by the hand, the golden hair, the fine-drawn, delicate contours, the face with its bewitching oval, a face which might have served as a model for the countenance of the Madonna, since it was of a type rarely to be met with in Russia, where nearly everything from planes to human feet is, rather on the gigantic scale. These features, I say, were those of the identical maiden whom Chichikov had encountered on the road when he had been fleeing from nose-drives. His emotion was such that he could not formulate a single intelligible syllable. He could merely murmur the devil only knows what, though certainly nothing of the kind which would have risen to the lips of the hero of a fashionable novel. I think that you have not met my daughter before, said Madame. She is just fresh from school. He replied that he had had the happiness of meeting Madame Waselle before, and under rather unexpected circumstances. But on his trying to say something further, his tongue completely failed him. The governor's wife added a word or two, and then carried off her daughter to speak to some of the other guests. Chichikov stood rooted to the spot. Like a man who, after issuing into the street for a pleasant walk, has suddenly come to a halt on remembering that something has been left behind him. In a moment, as he struggles to recall what that something is, the mind of careless expectancy disappears from his face, and he no longer sees a single person or a single object in his vicinity. In the same way, did Chichikov suddenly become oblivious to the scene around him? Yet all the while the melodious tongues of ladies were plying him with multitudinous hints and questions. Hints and questions inspired with a desire to captivate. Might we poor cumbers of the ground make so bold as to ask you what you are thinking of? Pray tell us where lie the happy regions in which your thoughts are wondering. Might we be informed of the name of her who has plunged you into this sweet abandonment of meditation? Such were the phrases thrown at him. But to everything he turned a dead ear, and the phrases and questions might as well have been stones dropped into a pool. Indeed his rudeness soon reached the pitch of his walking away altogether, in order that he might go and reconnaitre whether the Governor's wife and daughter had retreated. But the ladies were not going to let him off so easy. Every one of them had made up her mind to use upon him her every weapon, and to exhibit whatsoever might chance to constitute her best point. Yet the ladies' wiles proved useless. Fort Chichikov paid not the smallest attention to them, even when the dancing had begun, but kept raising himself on tiptoe to peer over people's heads and ascertain in which direction the bewitching maiden with the golden hair had gone. Also, when seated he continued to peep between his neighbors' backs and shoulders until at last he discovered her sitting beside her mother, who was wearing a sort of oriental turban and feather. Upon that one would have thought that his purpose was to carry the position by storm, for whether moved by the influence of spring, or whether moved by a push from behind, he pressed forward with such desperate resolution that his elbow caused the commissioner of taxes to stagger on his feet and would have caused him to lose his balance altogether but for the supporting row of guests in the rear. Likewise the postmaster was made to give ground, whereupon he turned an eyed Chichikov with mingled astonishment and subtle irony. But Chichikov never even noticed him. He saw in the distance only the golden-haired beauty. At that moment she was drawing on a long glove and doubtless pining to be flying over the dancing floor where with clicking heels four couples had now begun to thread the mazes of the Mazurka. In particular was a military staff captain working body and soul and arms and legs to compass such a series of steps as were never before performed, even in a dream. However Chichikov slipped past the Mazurka dancers and almost treading on their heels made his way towards the spot where Madame and her daughter were seated. Yet he approached them with great diffidence and none of his late mincing and prancing. Nay, he even faltered as he walked. His every movement had about it an air of awkwardness. It is difficult to say whether or not the feeling which had awakened in our hero's breast was the feeling of love. For it is problematic whether or not men who are neither stout nor thin are capable of such sediment. Nevertheless something strange, something which he could not altogether explain had come upon him. It seemed as though the ball with its talk and its clatters had suddenly become a thing remote that the orchestra had withdrawn behind a hill and the scene grown misty like the carelessly painted in background of a picture. And from that misty void there could be seen glimmering only the delicate outlines of the bewitching maiden. Somehow her exquisite shape reminded him of an ivory toy. In such fair white transparent relief did it stand out against the dull blur of the surrounding throne. Herein we see a phenomenon not infrequently observed. The phenomenon of the Chichikovs of this world becoming temporarily poets. At all events for a moment or two our Chichikov felt that he was a young man again if not exactly a military officer. On perceiving an empty chair beside the mother and daughter he hastened to occupy it and though conversation at first hung fire things gradually improved and he acquired more confidence. At this point I must reluctantly deviate to say that men of weight in high office are always a trifle ponderous when conversing with ladies. Young lieutenants or at all events officers not above the rank of captain are far more successful at the game. How they contrived to be so God only knows. Let them but make the most inane of remarks and at once the maiden by their side will be rocking with laughter. Whereas should a state counselor enter into conversation with a damsel and remark that the Russian empire is one of vast extent or utter a compliment which he has elaborated not without a certain measure of intelligence however strongly the said compliment may smack of a book. Of assurity the thing will fall flat. Even a witticism from him will be left at far more by him himself than it will be by the lady who may happen to be listening to his remarks. These comments I have interposed for the purpose of explaining to the reader why as our hero conversed the maiden began to yawn. Aligned to this however he continued to relate to her sundry adventures which had befallen him in different parts of the world. Meanwhile as need hardly be said the rest of the ladies had taken umbrage at his behavior. One of them purposely stalked past him to intimate to him the fact as well as to jostle the Governor's daughter and let the flying end of a scarf flicker face. While from a lady seated behind the pair came both a whiff of violets and a very venomous and sarcastic remark. Nevertheless either he did not hear the remark or he pretended not to hear it. This was unwise of him since it never does to disregard ladies' opinions. Later, but too late he was destined to learn this to his cost. In short dissatisfaction began to display itself on every feminine face. No matter how high Chichakoff might stand in society and no matter how much he might be a millionaire and include in his expression of countenance an indefinable element of grandness and martial arger there are certain things which no lady will pardon whosoever be the person concerned. We know that at Governor's balls it is customary for the onlookers to compose verses at the expense of the dancers and in this case the verses were directed to Chichakoff's address. Briefly the prevailing dissatisfaction grew until a tacit edict of prescription had been issued against both him and the poor young maiden. But an even more unpleasant surprise was in store for our hero for whilst the lady was still yawning as Chichakoff recounted to her certain of his past adventures and also touched lightly upon the subject of Greek philosophy there appeared from an adjoining room the figure of Nozdrev. Whether he had come from the buffet or whether he had issued from a little green retreat where a game more strenuous than Wist had been in progress or whether he had left the latter resort unaided or whether he had been expelled therefrom is unknown. But at all events when he entered the ballroom he was in an elevated condition and leading by the arm the public prosecutor whom he seemed to have been dragging about for a long while past. Seeing that the poor man was glancing from side to side as though seeking a means of putting an end to this personally conducted tour. Certainly he must have found the situation almost unbearable in view of the fact that after deriving inspiration from two glasses of tea not wholly undiluted with rum Nozdrev was engaged in lying unmercifully. On citing him in the distance Chichakoff at once decided to sacrifice himself. That is to say he decided to vacate his present enviable position and make off with all possible speed since he could see that an encounter with the newcomer would do him no good. Unfortunately at that moment the governor buttonholed him with a request that he would come and act as arbiter between him the governor and two ladies. The subject of dispute being the question as to whether or not women's love is lasting. Simultaneously Nozdrev described our hero and bore down upon him. Ah my fine landowner of Kersen he cried with a smile which set his fresh spring rose pink cheeks a quiver. Have you been doing much trade and departed souls lately? With that he turned to the governor. I suppose your excellency knows that this man traffics in dead peasants. He bawled. Look here Chichakoff I tell you in the most friendly way possible that everyone here likes you. Yes including even the governor. Nevertheless had I my way I would hang you. Yes by God I would. Chichakoff's discomforture was complete. And would you believe it your excellency? When on Nozdrev. But this fellow actually said to me sell me your dead souls. Why I left till I nearly became as dead as the souls. And behold no sooner do I arrive here than I am told that he has bought three million rubles worth of peasants for transferment. For transferment indeed and he wanted to bargain with me for my dead ones. Look here Chichakoff you are a swine. Yes by God you are an utter swine. Is that not so your excellency? Is that not so friend procurator? Public prosecutor. But both his excellency the public prosecutor and Chichakoff were too taken aback to reply. The half tipsy Nozdrev without noticing them continued his harangue as before. Ah my fine sir he cried this time I don't mean to let you go. No not until I have learned what all this purchasing of dead peasants means. Look here you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Yes I say that I who am one of your best friends here he turned to the governor again. Your excellency he continued you would never believe what inseparables this man and I have been. Indeed if you had stood there and said to me Nozdrev tell me on your honor which of the two you love best your father or Chichakoff I should have replied Chichakoff by God. With that he tackled our hero again. Come come my friend he urged let me imprint upon your cheeks a baser or two. You will excuse me if I kiss him will you not your excellency? No do not resist me Chichakoff but allow me to imprint at least one baser upon your lily white cheek and in his efforts to force upon Chichakoff what he termed his basers he came near to measuring his length upon the floor. Everyone now edged away and turned to deaf ear to his further babblings but his words on the subject of the purchase of dead souls had nonetheless been uttered at the top of his voice and been accompanied with such a parlorious laughter that the curiosity even of those who had happened to be sitting or standing in the remote or corners of the room had been aroused. So strange and novel seemed the idea that the company stood with faces expressive of nothing but a dumb dull wonder. Only some of the ladies as Chichakoff did not fail to remark exchanged meaning ill-natured winks in a series of sarcastic smiles which circumstance still further increased his confusion. That nose-drave was a notorious liar every one of course knew and that he should have given vent to an idiotic outburst of this sort had surprised no one but a dead soul well what was one to make of nose-draves reference to such a commodity. Naturally this unseemly contrary tone had greatly upset our hero for however foolish be a madman's words they may yet prove sufficient to sow doubt in the minds of saner individuals. He felt much as does a man who shud with well-polished boots has just stepped into a dirty stinking puddle. He tried to put away from him the occurrence and to expand and to enjoy himself once more. Nay, he even took a hand at wist. But all was of no avail. Matters kept going as a rye is a badly bent hoop. Twice he blundered in his play and the president of the council was at a loss to understand how his friend Paul Ivanovich, lately so good and so circumspect a player, could perpetrate such a mauve pause to throw away a particular king of spades which the president had been trusting as to quote his own expression he would have trusted God. At supper too matters felt uncomfortable even though the society at Chichkov's table was exceedingly agreeable and Nostrev had been removed owing to the fact that the ladies had found his conduct too scandalous to be borne now that the delinquent had taken to seating himself on the floor and plucking at the skirts of passing lady dancers. As I say therefore, Chichkov found the situation not a little awkward and eventually put an end to it by leaving the supper room before the meal was over and long before the hour when usually he returned to the inn. In his little room with its door of communication blocked with a wardrobe, his frame of mind remained as uncomfortable as the chair in which he was seated. His heart ached with a dull, unpleasant sensation with a sort of oppressive emptiness. The devil take those who first invented balls, was his reflection, who derives any real pleasure from them. In this province there exists want and scarcity everywhere yet folk go in for balls. How absurd too were those overdressed women. One of them must have had a thousand rubles on her back and all acquired at the expense of the overtaxed peasant or worse still at that of the conscience of her neighbor. Yes, we all know why bribes are accepted and why men become crooked in soul. It is all done to provide wives. Yes, may the pit swallow them up with foul owls. And for what purpose? That some woman may not have to reproach her husband with the fact that, say, the postmaster's wife is wearing a better dress than she is? A dress which has cost a thousand rubles? Balls and gaiety, balls and gaiety is the constant cry, yet what folly balls are. They do not consort with the Russian spirit and genius, and the devil only knows why we have them. A grown middle-aged man, a man dressed in black and looking as stiff as a poker, suddenly takes the floor and begins shuffling his feet about. While another man, even though conversing with a companion on important business, will the while keep capering to right and left like a billy goat. Mimicry. Sheer mimicry. The fact that the Frenchman is at forty precisely what he was at fifteen leads us to imagine that we too, forsooth, ought to be the same. No, a ball leaves one feeling that one has done a wrong thing. So much so, that one does not care even to think of it. It also leaves one's head perfectly empty, even as does the exertion of talking to a man of the world. A man of that kind chatters away and touches lightly upon every conceivable subject, and talks in smooth fluent phrases which he has called from books without grazing their substance. Whereas go and have a chat with a tradesman who knows at least one thing thoroughly and through the medium of experience, and see whether his conversation will not be worth more than the prattle of a thousand chatterboxes. For what good does one get out of balls? Suppose that a competent writer would describe such a scene exactly as it stands. Why, even in a book, it would seem senseless, even as it certainly is in life. Are therefore such functions right or wrong? One would answer that the devil only knows, and then spit and close the book. Such were the unfavorable comments which Chichkov passed upon balls in general. With it all, however, there went a second source of dissatisfaction. That is to say, his principal grudge was not so much against the balls, as against the fact that at this particular one he had been exposed. He had been made to disclose the circumstance that he had been playing a strange and ambiguous part. Of course, when he reviewed the contra tem in the light of pure reason, he could not but see that it mattered nothing, and that a few rude words were of no account, now that the chief point had been attained. Yet man is an odd creature, and Chichkov actually felt pained by the cold shouldering administered to him by persons for whom he had not an atom of respect, and whose vanity and love of display he had only that moment been censuring. Still more on viewing the matter clearly, he felt vexed to think that he himself had been so largely the cause of the catastrophe. Yet he was not angry with himself, of that you may be sure, seeing that all of us have a slight weakness for sparing our own faults, and always do our best to find some fellow creature upon whom to vent our displeasure. Whether that fellow creature be a servant, a subordinate official, or a wife, in the same way Chichkov sought a scapegoat upon whose shoulders he could lay the blame for all that had annoyed him. He found one in Nozdrev, and you may be sure that the scapegoat in question received a good drubbing from every side. Even as an experienced captain or chief of police will give a Navist starosta or post-boy a rating not only in the terms become classical, but also in such terms as the said captain or chief of police may invent for himself. In short, Nozdrev's whole lineage was passed in review, and many of its members in the ascending line fared badly in the process. Meanwhile, at the other end of the town there was in progress an event which was destined to augment still further the unpleasantness of our hero's position. That is to say, through the outlying streets and alleys of the town, there was clattering a vehicle to which it would be difficult precisely to assign a name, seeing that, though it was of a species peculiar to itself, it most nearly resembled a large rickety watermelon on wheels. Eventually this monstrosity drew up at the gates of a house where the arch-priest of one of the churches resided, and from its doors there left a damsel clad in a jerkin and wearing a scarf over her head. For a while she thumped the gates so vigorously as to set all the dogs barking. Then the gates stiffly opened and admitted this unwieldy phenomenon of the road. Lastly the Berenia herself alighted and stood revealed as Madame Karabochka, widow of a collegiate secretary. The reason of her sudden arrival was that she had felt so uneasy about the possible outcome of Chichakov's whim that during the three nights following his departure she had been unable to sleep a wink, whereafter, in spite of the fact that her horses were not shot, she had set off for the town, in order to learn at first hand how the dead souls were faring and whether, which might God forfend, she had not sold them at something like a third of their true value. The consequences of her venture the reader will learn from a conversation between two ladies. We will reserve it for the ensuing chapter. End of Part 1, Chapter 8 Dead Souls by Nikolai Vasilevich-Gogol Translated by D.J. Hogar Part 1, Chapter 9 Read by Berenia Next morning, before the usual hour for paying calls, their trip from the portals of an orange-coloured wooden house with an attic story and a row of blue pillars, a lady and an elegant black cloak. With her came a footman and a many-caped red coat and a polished top hat with a gold band. Hacely, but gracefully, the lady ascended the steps that down from Makoliaska and just standing before the entrance and as soon as she had done so, the footman shut her in, put up the steps again, and, catching hold of the strap behind the vehicle, shouted to the coachman, right away. The reason of all this was that the lady was a possessor of a piece of intelligence that she was burning to communicate to a fellow creature. Every moment, she kept looking out of the carriage window and perceiving with almost speechless vexation, that, as yet, she was but halfway on her journey. The front of the houses appeared to her longer than usual and in particular, did a front of the white zone hospital with its rows of narrow windows seemed interminable to a degree which at length forced her to eject legs over the cursed building. Potentially, there's no end to it. Also, she twice adjured the coachman with her words. Go quicker, Andrusha, you are a horribly long time over the journey this morning. But at length, her goal was reached and the Koliaska stopped before a one-story dimension, dark green colour and, having mud carvings over the windows, a tall and fenced narrow garden in front of the letter and a few meagre trees looming white with an incongruous coating of road dust. And the windows of the building were also a few flower pots and a parrot that kept alternately dancing on the floor of its cage and hanging onto the ring of the same as its beak. Also, in the sunshine before the door, two packed dogs were sleeping. Here, there lived the lady's bosom friend. As soon as the bosom friend in question, learned of the newcomer's arrival, she ran down into the hall and the two ladies kissed and embraced one another. Then they adjourned the drawing room. How glad am I to see you, said the bosom friend. When I heard someone arriving, I wondered who could possibly be calling so early. Parasha declared that it must be the vice-governor's wife. So, as I did not want to be bald with her, I gave orders that I was to be reported, not at home. For her part, the guest would have liked to have proceeded to business by communicating her tidings. But a sudden exclamation from the hostess imparted, temporarily, a new direction to the conversation. What a pretty chint, she cried, gazing at the other's gown. Yes, it is pretty, agreed the visitor. On the other hand, Preskovia did a row of nothings there. In other words, the ladies proceeded to indulge in a conversation on the subject of tris. And only after this had asked her for considerable bulk while, did the visitor left her room out, which left her entertainer to inquire. And how is the universal trauma? My God, replied the other. There has been such a business. In fact, do you know why I'm here at all? And the visitor's breathing became more hurried, and further work seemed to be hovering between her lips. Like hops preparing to stoop upon their prey. Only a person of the unhumanity of a true friend would have at the heart to interrupt her. But the hostess was just such a friend, had at once interposed with. I wonder how anyone can see anything in the man to praise other at Malia, for my own part, I think, and I would say the same thing straight to his face, that he is a perfect Resko. Yes, but to listen to what I've got to tell you. Oh, I know that some people think him handsome, continued the hostess, and moved. But I say that he's nothing of the kind, and in particular, his nose is perfectly odious. Yes, but let me finish what I was saying. The guest's tone was almost piteous at its appeal. What is it then? You cannot imagine my state of mind. You see, this morning I received a visit from Father Sirel's wife, the Archpriest's wife. You know her, don't you? Well, whom do you suppose that fine gentleman to this tough ass has turned out to be? The man who has built the Archpriest's poultry run? Oh, don't know. Had that me know? It would have been nothing. No. Listen to what Father Sirel's wife had to tell me. She said that, last night, Lady Lentona, named Amkarabochka, arrived at the Archpriest's house, arrived all pale and trembling, and told her all such things. They sound like a piece of a book that is to say, as a day of night, just when everyone had retired to rest, there came the most dreadful knocking imaginable, and someone screamed out, Open the gates or we'll break them down. Just think, after this, how anyone can say that the man's charming I cannot imagine. Well, what of Madam Karabochka? Is she a young woman or good-looking? Oh, do you know? Quite an old woman. Splendid indeed. So he's actually engaged to a person like that. One may hardly commend the taste of our ladies, for having fallen in love with him. Nevertheless, he is not as you suppose. Think now. Armed with weapons from head to foot, he caught upon this old woman and said, Tell me any souls of yours, should have lately died. Of course, Madam Karabochka answered, Reasonably enough, I cannot tell you those souls, seeing that they have departed this world. But I replied, No, no, they are not dead. Tis I who tell you that, I who ought to know the truth of matter. I swear that they are still alive. In short, he made such a scene that the whole village came running to the house, and children screamed, and men shouted, and no one could tell what it was all about. That fair seemed to me so horrible, so utterly horrible, that I trampled beyond belief, as I listened to a story. My dearest Madam, said my mate, Mashaqa, pray look at yourself in the mirror, and see how white you are. But I have no time for that, I replied, as I must be off to tell my friend, Anna Grigoryevna, the news. Nor did I lose a moment in all the reign of Kogyaska. Yet, then my coachman, Andrusha, asked me for directions, I could not get a word out. I just stood staring at him like a fool, until I thought he must think me in. Oh, Anna Grigoryevna, if you but knew how upset I am. What a strange effect, commented the hostess. What on earth can a man have men by death souls? I confess that the words pass my understanding. Curiously enough, this is the second time I have heard speak of those souls. True, my husband ever said that, Nor's wrath is lying. Yet, in his lies, there seems to have been a grain of truth. Well, just think of my state, and I heard all this. And now, apparently said Korobochka to Archery's wife. I am all together and lost what to do. For, throwing me 15 roubles, a man forced me to sign a mother's paper. Yes, me, and an experience to fence a hospital, knows nothing of business. That such things should happen, try and imagine my feelings. In my opinion, there is, if there's more, than a dead soul which meets the eye. I think so too, agreed the other. As a matter of fact, her friend's remark had struck her with complete surprise, as well as felt her with curiosity to know what the word more might possibly seem quite. In fact, she felt driven to inquire. What, do you supposed to be hesitant beneath at all? No, tell me, what do you suppose? What I suppose? I'm at loss to conjecture. Yes, but tell me, what's in your mind? Upon this, the visitor had to confess herself non-past. For, though capable of growing hysterical, she wasn't capable of pronouncing any rational theory. Consequently, she felt the more that she needed tender comfort in the eyes. And this is what I think about the dead souls, said Hostess. And suddenly, the guest picked up her ears, or rather, they picked themselves up, and straightened herself and became, somehow, more mouldish and despite her not inconsiderable width, posed herself to look like a piece of tistles down floating on the breeze. The dead souls began their hostess. A walk to a walk, inquired the guest in great excitement. Ah, ah, tell me, tell me, for heaven's sake. They aren't mentioned to conceal something else. The man's real objective is to abduct the governess' daughter. So startling and expected was this conclusion that the guest set reduced her state of pale, hetrified genuine amazement. My God, she cried, clapping her hands. I should never have guessed it. Well, to tell you the truth, I guessed it as soon as ever. You open your mouth. So much then, educating girls like the governess' daughter at school. Just see what comes of it. Yes, indeed. And you tell me that she says things which I hesitate even to repeat. Truly it rings one's heart to see what lengths immorality has come. Some of the men have quite lost their heads about her, but for my part, I think her not worth noticing. Of course, and the manners are unbearable. But what puzzles me most is how a travelled man like Chichkov could come to let himself in for such an affair. Surely he must have accomplished this? Yes, and I should say that one of those accomplices is Nostrov. Surely not. Certainly I should say so. Why, I have known him even tried to sell his own father, and all events his take him at cards. Indeed, and trust me, I should never have thought him capable of such things. I always guess him to be so. The two ladies were still discussing the matter with Ackerman, and success when they walked into the room of the public prosecutor, bushy eyebrows, motionless features, pinky eyes and all. At once the ladies hastened to inform him of the events related, adusing, therewith, four details, both as to the purchase of details, and as to a scheme to abduct the governor's daughter, after which they departed in different directions for the purpose of raising the rest of the town. For the execution of this undertaking, not more than half an hour is required. So thoroughly that they succeeded in throwing death in public's eyes, had for a while everyone, more especially the army of public officials, first placed in the position of a schoolboy, who, while still asleep, had had a bag of pepper thrown in his face by a party of more early rising comrades. The questions now to be debated resolved themselves into two, namely the question of the dead souls and the question of the governor's daughter. To this end, two parties were formed, the men's party and the family section. The men's party, the more absolute sentence of the two, devoted its ascension to the dead souls. The women's party occupied itself exclusively with the alleged abduction of the governor's daughter, and here it may be said, to the ladies' credit, that the women's party displayed far more method and caution than did its viral faction, probably because the function and life of its members had always been there of managing and administering a household. Where the ladies, therefore, matters soon assumed vivid and definite shape. They became clearly and irrefutable materialized. They sought strip of all doubt and other impedimenta. Said some of the ladies in question, Tchikov had long been in love with the maiden, and the pair had kept twist by the light of the moon, while the governor would have given his consent, seeing that Tchikov was as rich as a Jew. But for the obstacle that Tchikov had deserted her life already, how to worry dames came to know that he was married, remains a mystery. And the sad deserted wife, pining with love for her faithless husband, had sent the governor less of the most such in kind, so that Tchikov, unperceiving that the father and mother would never give their consent, had decided to abduct the girl. In other circles, the man so was dated in a different way. That, as to say, the section of that Tchikov did not possess a wife, but that as a man of subtlety and experience, yet the thought him of obtaining the daughter's hand, to the expedient of first tackling the mother, and carrying on with her in Arlen-Yazen, and that thereafter, yet made an application for the desired hand, but that the mother, fearing to commit a sin against religion, and feeling in her heart certain all wings of conscience, had returned a blank refusal to Tchikov's request, whereupon Tchikov had decided to carry out the abduction alleged. To the foregoing, of course, there became appended various additional proofs and items of evidence, in proportion as the sensation spread to more remote corners of the town. At length, with these perfectings, the affair reached a years of a governess wife herself, naturally, as the mother of her family, and as the first lady in the town, and as a majorant, but never before had been suspected of things of the kind. She was highly offended when she heard the stories, and very justly so, with the result that her poor young daughter, though innocent, had to endure about as unpleasant attempt to tell, as ever the fail made of sixteen, while for his part, the Swiss footman, received orders never at any time, to admit Tchikov to the house. Having done the business with the governess wife, the lady's party descended upon the male section, with a view to influencing it to their own side, but certain that the late soul's grand invention used solely for the purpose of diverting suspicion, and successfully affecting the abduction. And, indeed, more than one man was converted, and joined the feminine camp, in spite of the fact that thereby such secilis incurred strong names from their late comrades, names such as old women, petticoats, and others of a nature peculiarly offensive to male sex. Also, however much they might arm themselves and take their fields, the men could not compass such orderliness within their ranks, as could the women. With the former, everything was of their antiquated, and rough hewn, and ill-fitting, and unsuitable, and badly adepted, and inferior kind. Their heads were full of nothing but discord and triviality, and confusion and slovenliness of thought. In brief, they displayed everywhere the male bent, their rude, ponderous nature, which is incapable either of managing a household, or of jumping to a conclusion, as well as remains always a stressful, and lazy, and full of constant doubt, and everlasting timidity. For instance, the men's party declared that the whole story was rubbish, that the alleged abduction of the governor's daughter was the work rather of a military than of a civilian culprit, that the ladies were lying when they accused her she cost of the deed, that a woman was like a money bag. whatsoever you put into her, she then twelfth retained, that the subject which really demanded attention was the debt source, of which the devil only knew the meaning, but in which there certainly looked something, there was contrary to good order and discipline. One reason why the men's party was so certain that the debt source connoted something contrary to good order and discipline was that there had just been appointed to a province, a new governor-general, an event which, of course, had thrown the whole army of provincial chenokniks into a state of great excitement, seeing that they knew that before long there would ensue transparment and sentences of censure, as well as a series of official dinners, with which a governor-general is accustomed to entertain his subordinates, alas, thought the army of chenokniks, it is probable that, should he learn of the gross reports at present afloat in our town, he will make such a fuss that we shall never hear the last of them, in particular, that the director of the medical department, tempail at the top, that possibly the new governor-general could surmise the term zed folk to conduct patients in local hospitals for want of proper preventative measures had to have sporadic fever. Indeed, might it not be that Chichikov was needed more or less than an emissary of the said governor-general sent to conduct a secret inquiry? Accordingly, the director of the medical department communicated this last of position to the president of the council, who though at first inclined to ejaculate rubbish, certainly tempail and propounding to himself as theory. What if the souls purchased by Chichikov could really be dead once? A terrible thought considering that he, the president, had permitted their transformer to be registered, and had himself acted as Plushkin's representative. What if these things should reach the governor-general's ears? He mentioned the matter to one friend and another, and they, in their turn, went wide to lips, from head-express faster and as even more destructive than their dreaded black death. Also, to add to the general of Nick's troubles, it still befell that just at this juncture there came into local governor's hands two documents of great importance. The first of them contained advices that, according to receive evidence and reports, there was operating in the province a forger of ruble notes, who had been passing on the various aliases and must therefore resort forward the utmost diligence. While the second document was a letter from the governor of a neighbouring province with regard to a benefactor, who had there evaded apprehension, a letter conveying also a warning that, if in the province of the town of M, there should appear any suspicious individual who could produce neither references nor passports, he was to be arrested forthwith. These two documents left everyone fanastra, for they not on the head or previous conceptions and theories. Not for a moment could it be supposed that the former document referred to Tshikov. Yet, as each man pondered the position from his own point of view, he remembered that no one really knew who Tshikov was. As also that his vague references to himself had. Yes, through that statement that his career in the service had suffered much the cause of truth, and that he possessed a number of enemies who were seeking his life. This gave the Tshinovniks further fault for thought. Perhaps his life created sand and danger. Perhaps he was being sought for by someone. Perhaps he really had done something of the kind above referred to. As a matter of fact, who was he? Not that it could actually be supposed that he was a forge of note. Still less, a brilliant, seeing that his exterior was respectable in the highest degree. Yet, who was he? And then, the Tshinovniks decided to make inquiries among those of whom he had perjaded souls in order that at least it might be learned what the perjaders had consisted of and what exactly underlay them, and whether, in passing, he had explained to anyone his real intentions are revealed to anyone in his identity. In the first instance, therefore, result was had to Karabachka. Yet, little was seen from that source. Merely a statement that he had bought of her some souls for 15 rubles apiece, and also a quantity of feathers, while promising also to buy some other commodities in the future, seeing that, in particular, he had entered into a contract with a treasury for a lot of fact, constituting fairly presumptive proof that the man was a ruler, seeing that just such a fellow had bought a quantity of feathers, and had cheated folk all round, and in particular, had done the arch-priest out of over a hundred rubles. First and at result of Mellum's cross-examination was to convince the Chinavniks that she was a guerrillas, silly old woman. With regard to Mernoth, he replied that he would answer for Titikov as he would for himself, and that he would gladly sacrifice his property in total, and thereby he could attain even a tiff of the qualities which Polar Venomich resisted. Finally, his advert on Titikov, with acutely knitted brows, a eulogy couched in the most charming of terms, and coupled with Sanjee sentiments on the subject of friendship and affection in general. True, these remarks suffice to indicate the tenor impulses of the speaker's heart, but also they did nothing to enlighten his examiners, concerning the business that was actually at hand, as a sober cabbage, that Landona replied that he considered Titikov an excellent fellow, as well as that of the souls whom he had sold to his visitor had been in the truer sense of the world alive, but that he could not answer for anything which might occur in the future, seeing that any difficulties which might arise in the cause of the actual transformation of souls would not be his fault in view of the fact that God was Lord of all, and that fevers and other mortal complaints were so numerous in the world, and that instances of whole villages perishing through the same could be found on record. Finally, our friends, the Chinovniks, found themselves compelled to resort to an expedient which, though not particularly savoury, is not infrequently employed, namely, the expedient of getting lekkies quietly approached the servants of the person concerning whom information is desired, and to ascertain from them their servants, certain details with regard to their master's life and antecedents, yet even from this source very little was obtained, and since Petrushka provided his interrogators merely with a taste of the smell of his living room, and Salifan confined his replies to a statement that the baron had been in the employment of the state, and also had served in the customs. In short, the sum total of the results gathered by the Chinovniks was that they still stood in ignorance of Chichikov's identity, but that he must be someone. Wherefore, it was decided to hold a final debate on the subject of what ought to be done, and who Chichikov could possibly be, and whether or not he was a man who ought to be apprehended, entertained, as not respectable, or whether he was a man who might himself be able to apprehend and detain them, as persons lacking in the respectability. Hence the debate and question it was proposed should be held at the residence of the chief of police, who is known to our readers as the father and general benefactor of the town. End of Part 1, Chapter 9