 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa rahmatullahi wa rahmatullahi Thank you all for taking the time to join on this rainy night. And so we're going to continue, inshallah. We just started this series. It's about the journey of the soul and trying to understand where we came from so that we can identify where we're going and so that we can realize the purpose of where we're going and what we're meant to be doing. So we're reviewing this text, a very very short text, very powerful by Imam Abdullah bin Alubiyal Khaddad, known as the lives of man. And it basically is a guide to the states of the human soul from before one was conceived. So in the pre-eternal realm, to the time that one was conceived, to the life in this dunya, the stages of life in this dunya, then to the barzah, which is the intermediary realm when one passes away. And then the day of judgment when one is resurrected, ultimately to eternal life. So he walks through in just enough detail what the essential components of each of these lives are and what the Muslim needs to know and what the Muslim needs to do as we navigate this part of our journey. So last time we covered the first life, which is the creation, when the human being was originally created until right before they are conceived. And this is the life of the day in which Allah takes the covenant. So we talked about what does it mean when we took the covenant. Allah mentioned in Surah Al-A'ra that he gathered all of the children of Bani Adam and he asked them, am I not your Lord? And everybody responded, we say yes. And we respond and we witness, we bear witness. And so Allah basically then says that you can't deny this at a later date because this event did happen. And then we talked about how all of these darknesses that come over our soul and these veils and these layers that come over the human soul and over the heart fail us from remembering these moments. And they fail us from remembering this reality, which is why when we need to remember something, we do vicar, which is remembrance. It gets us away from heedlessness and forgetfulness. So the more one polishes their heart, the more closer one gets, the more the reality of that event and the reality of bearing witness before our Lord and saying, yes, we are our Lord. And that was in a real way. It wasn't some figurative concept. That will start to sink into the human being. That's what we covered last time. So this time in Shala, we're going to get into the second life, which is essentially the life of the dunya, from the time that somebody is in the womb of their mother. And then this life has multiple stages. It has that time, then it has the time of childhood, then it has the time of youth, then it has the ages of maturity, and then it has the ages of old age. And then when someone is on their way out, what is translated is decrepitude. And then finally, when one actually passes. So we're going to split this up into two classes. We'll cover the first three or four of those stages today, inshallah, and then we'll get into the next ones. So he says that this life begins from the time that one is delivered out of the womb. And it ends when one departs this world. And this is this section that we're about to talk about. This is the purpose of human life. This is the purpose of human existence. So the human being has a very, very specific purpose for why they were created. And it is the test in this life, Allah says in the Qur'an, that we created life and death in order to test which one of you would be best indeed. And that is the life that is being referred to. So the life that we're in right now. Most of us, we think this is the only life. So when we talk about a day where we have a life, this is the time we're referring to. But he clarifies, no, there's time before this and there's time after this. But this is the evaluation period. So it begins that in the realization that whatever we do here, there's consequences. Allah, especially when the age of accountability starts, which we'll talk through in a few minutes, inshallah, Allah starts to take people to account for their actions in this life. There's not a free past forever. And so the end will either be as a result of the investments we make now and the after the end is either eternal bliss or eternal perpetual torment. Those are the two sides that someone has to choose from. And we actually have a choice in that because whatever we do here will have that result and will have that impact. And ultimately, it's Allah's good pleasure and Allah's mercy. But Allah does give us a roadmap for what you need to do to get the jannah, what you need to do to get to what you need to do incorrectly if you and you won't get the jannah. So, but he starts with this time in the womb and he just wants to mention this as a way for someone to, it's kind of like a prologue. He says, so this is the prologue to this life, right? Like the form one is actually born, they're in queer, they're in the womb of their mother. But Allah does describe this in detail in the Qur'an where he says that we created and we created a human being from a product of clay, so from clay. And then we placed him as a drop in a safe, logic place. And then we made of that a lump of bones. And then we made of that a lump of bones. And then we covered the bones with flesh and then brought him forth as another creation. So blessed be Allah, the best of creators, the greatest of all creators. So Allah's describing this is before and keep in mind that the Qur'an is the eternal speech of Allah. But this was revealed in a time where there was no way to understand the development of the embryo and the fetus and everything that takes place inside the womb of their mother. Like there was no way for someone to know all of these is the exception. Allah describes it in a lot of detail. He says, O mankind and another surah, should you be in doubt concerning the resurrection, then know the following that we created you from dust, then from a drop of seed, then from a cloth, then from a lump of flesh shapely and shapeless, and then Allah shaped it. And then we make it clear for you and we cause what we will to remain in the wombs for an appointed time. So Allah is describing this process that's taking place. Usually this would be considered unseen for people. So this would have been considered something happening in the unseen realm. Obviously it's in this realm, but it was not something that people would have witness to. Allah is describing what that process is. And in this hadith we're describing in a lot more detail. But this is when the life of the human being, essentially has now started, right? So when there is a portion of time at which the soul is blown in, the spirit is blown in to the embryo. And now the life of that can be started. And now the baby, the interactions that they have are the fetus interactions that they have, the way that their mother does certain things. That impacts them from a spiritual perspective. It has a deep rooted impact. So he said it really starts at this point. And the prophet, alaihi s-salam, mentioned in another narration that all of you will have had, their creative existence brought together in their mother's womb as a drop, as a nutwa for 40 days, then as a alaqa, a clot for 40 days, then as a mudqa, as a piece of flesh for the same period of time, after which Allah sends the angel to blow the womb, to blow the spirit into the human being. And he says, now this angel is commanded to write. What does this angel write? It writes a few things. First, it writes all the provisions that you're going to get in this life, the provisions, the risks. It's already been predetermined by Allah in the eternal tablet, the loaf and the fruit. It's already been predetermined. But now this angel is writing in, this is what this person is going to get in this entire life. It also writes their lifespan. So his entire lifespan is written at this point. So at the point at which the womb is blown in, the lifespan of the human being has already been decided. It writes their deeds and writes whether they will end up wretched or joyful. And then he, so the Hadith continues that we'll just pause there. The first thing you can keep in mind is that Allah already wrote a risk for us. At this point, it's very little to stress it out if it's already been decided. As a human being, one of the chief things as we talked about in the last class among qazali, human being worries about his risk where's my money going to come from? Where's my job going to come from? How am I going to get income? How am I going to get this? How am I going to get that? Well Allah already wrote what are the times of abundance? What are the times of difficulty? What are the times of constriction? What are the times of expansion? What are the times of ease? What are the times of health? Your risk is your money, your income, but it's not just that. It's who you get married to or don't get married to. It's your friends. It's your company. It's your company, meaning your social circle. All of these things are part of your provision. These have already been all predetermined and Allah says that they are tests for you in certain ways. So not everything Allah gives is something that's purely just given without wisdom. Everything has a wisdom to it. The risk can be a blessing and the test in various ways. Abundance can also be a test just like poverty and difficulty in adversity can be a test. He says the lifespan is also already written at this point. So nobody can increase or decrease what Allah has already written for them, eternally and in his realm. And then he says, and this is interesting and this part needs a little clarification. He says, the problem is that some says by the one besides whom there is no God, one of you may do the works of the people of Jannah until they're separated only by an arm's length from the end. And then what had been written overtakes them and they start to do the works of the people of the fire and they enter it. And he says, and one of you may do the works of the people of the fire and so nothing remains between the fire and but an arm's length, between them and the fire and an arm's length. And then what is written overtakes them so that he or she does the works of the people of Jannah and then enters it. There's various ways that will amount of purpose has been. And a few of the different things that are mentioned in the commentaries. One, this should put fear inside the life of every human being, the most righteous obedient person and it should give hope to the most sinful person, right? We all have times where we're steeped in sin and many of us are doing a lot of things that are wrong and that are inappropriate. And then we have times where hopefully we are being able to be obedient. This should give humility to the people of obedience, not an arrogance of I'm guaranteed Jannah and this is all that the Muslim never operates like that and I just have to do X, Y, Z and for sure I'm doing it. No, no, no, that's not how it works. A lot decides when, if, and how much he's going to give. And it should also give hope to somebody who lives a very, might live a very a life full of transgression but then at the end a lot facilitates for them. There might be people who don't embrace Islam at all and then they erase Islam on their deathbed. Everything is wiped clean and they get to enter into, they've entered the religion now and then they pass away and they return to their Lord. The second interpretation that Olimah is saying about this is that one may think that they're doing the actions of the people of Jannah but actually they've been doing actions of the people of Hellfire the whole time. Why? Because all their actions are not for Allah. And this is, we talked about this at length last time or in the last class. Their actions might be insincere. Their actions may appear like they are for the sake of people but rather they are for the sake of Allah but rather they're for the sake of people. This is why Juan Hadid that mentions the first to enter and the first to be questioned and be thrown into the fire are the people of scholarship in Quran instead of mentioning all the other criminal activities that are done. People who recite in Quran for the sake of people noticing and people who learned and did good for the sake of people praising them and attention, status and fame and so on and so forth. They're very dangerous things. So one may think that they were doing actions of good but they actually the entire time were doing actions of wrong. So it's like the outward form looks great but inside was rotten poison. Right? And so it's not going to be pure the same as something inside that's actually pure. The outward and the inward have to be correct which is why in Islam the science of purification exists which is why it's so important to study that because somebody who doesn't learn how to purify their heart couldn't get into the state. And then he says somebody may have been doing actions outwardly that were farah but inwardly they were always turning back to their Lord and repenting and broken before him and had a yearning to fix themselves but they just kept doing the wrong. But they, Allah I really want to prove I really want to prove. So there's different ways in which Allah examines. So we should all have hope when we sin that as long as we are turning back to Allah we're not sinning arrogantly. There's a difference between the arrogant sinner who says I'm not even sinning. This isn't even a sin. This is not even a big deal. Or what's the big deal? Everybody else is doing it. And the one who says I'm really messing up right now. I really should be doing this. Allah I'm really really ashamed and I feel sorry that I'm doing this but I can't help it. My Nus has the best of me. I gotta work on myself. The two are very different categories. So there's various other interpretations that are given but those are few. So we then mentioned the lifespan of deeds and then again hold their ultimate end. One, a human being will be facilitated towards good as Allah mentions in Quran or they will be prevented from good. And we should always ask that Allah make us people who are facilitated towards good. But really the spiritual journey of the human being begins at the time that they're in the womb and the actions and the that are done in the outside environment will impact the child that's in the womb. Will impact the child that's in the womb. And then this hadith also gets into other details that one can study to understand why Islam abortion is also a very serious topic because once the root has blown in has been blown in this is not something that's permissible for us to for us to take on. So it's very common unfortunately now in the political realm for people to think that these types of things are totally okay and there's room for them there's room for them in various cases there's room but the generality in our religion is that life is to be preserved because Allah has created life and it is not permitted out of your poverty or for various other reasons for one to abort but that's not what the purpose of the class is so we'll move on. So then this is when now with life the accountability starts to it's we're about to get to this really really important stage. So it says then you enter into childhood so this is the the first real stage of this dunya. He said the human being remains in the womb until Allah wills for them to come forth whenever day or hour moment Allah decided that's when the human being is going to come not one day sooner not one day later. He says this is the beginning of life in this world as Allah says in the Quran and afterward we bring you forth as infants. Then we give you growth so that you may attain your full strength. So he maps out what's going to happen to the human being and then among you are those who die others who are brought back to the worst time of life referring to the age of decrepitude and really advanced whole age so that after having had knowledge they know nothing at all. So some people might have lived a very a lot of benefits in their life but then they get into an age where now they don't remember anything more afflicted with severe disease or tribulation and old age is mentioned as that type of tribulation when one suffers these things and then Allah says in another Sura one attains full strength and then that you become old. So Allah talks about again the different stages. Why does he talk about the different stages? Because he wants you to now understand he wants us to understand there's a purpose to each state and the Prophet ﷺ gives context to what the stages are so the strength that somebody has when they're the energy that someone has when they're a child or the memory that they have when they're a child is not the same as someone when they're much later and then the strength that someone has in their like 20s and 30s is not the same as the strength or lack of strength someone has in their 60s, 50s, 60s, 70s and we always ask Allah preserve us and give us lots of help but this is the key for understanding the wisdom behind why Allah created different stages of the human being's life and then what the purpose of each of those stages of life is because the natural inclination of the human being is to say I have plenty of time I'll do it later I'll do all of my Ibadah later I'll wait till I'm this age I miss a bunch of prayers and this matter I'll make them up when I'm seven years old or whatever if the human being is a procrastinator by nature then Allah likes to do that but there's a lot of benefit from childhood in someone understanding what their purpose is and someone understanding the reason why Allah has given them that so he says in this stage a couple of things happen he says people move from the state of childhood to puberty and then that's where this state of childhood is done and then they go into the stage of and young adulthood and then to maturity and then to seniority so these are the different stages we're going to talk to but firstly he says there's something happens when each human being is born he says when every human being is born they begin to scream and this is mentioned in the narration this is because now they have a satan a satan who actually goes there and literally in a very real sense stabs the human being and they try to harm that human being he says everybody was afflicted by this except Jesus son of Mary Jesus alaihi salam he said Maryam because he was garnered by this because of the prayers of Mary Maryam alaihi salam's wife the wife of or Maryam alaihi salam's mother the wife of Kimran and so where she says in the Quran Surah al-Irran that oh Allah I seek your protection for her this is when Maryam alaihi salam is born and she makes his wife I seek your protection for her and for her offspring from sheytan from Sayyidina Rukul and because Allah accepted that dua the mother of Maryam alaihi salam Isa alaihi salam was prevented from this happening then and so I mentioned in the hadith that at least arrived at that moment but a protective veil came and he was he was corrected from this and that's what happens now that a sheytan is also created to be assigned to a human being when they are born and they say a devil and a jinn is created to be assigned to a human being when they are born so that's an important part of our framework to keep in mind that while we have angels with us there are also sheyafi that are the human being and they study the human being over the course of their life to understand their weaknesses and find out how to get them so then he says at the moment when someone is born a few things that one is supposed to do to the child they do the adhan in the right ear and the alama in the left ear usually the father will do this the adhan in the right ear and the alama in the left ear and this is the first very real this is sunnah it's the first real call to remind them of Allah right so one is literally calling them to prayer that's the first thing or calling making the call to prayer which is a very very noble call full of a lot of deep remembrances of Allah the second thing is when somebody passes away so when we do the jannahzah prayer is anyone we do this funeral prayer has anyone ever seen anyone who an adhan or a alama for the funeral prayer there's no adhan in the alama for the funeral prayer because that adhan alama was already done when we were born when we were born and it said that the time of your life is like the time between the adhan and the alama in reality so when somebody came here for isha salah the adhan was made maybe 655 alama was maybe 702 that time five six minutes is the time of the life of the human being and it was already done so from that moment the human being is supposed to realize I'm here for a reason and I'm here for a purpose and so that should sink in even in the mind of the parents as excited as they are that I have a responsibility now to make sure that I put in the effort to raise this child to be righteous because one day they will have to go and then the jannahzah will be prayed over them and the efforts that one put in and the way in which they were raised that's going to ultimately determine Allah's mercy where they end up going and if they fulfill the purpose of their life the second thing the prophet al-Isra just mentioned that that every child is born in their fitrah this is known as the primordial disposition this innocent disposition every child is born in the fitrah and it is their parents who make them a Jew a Christian or a Zoroastrian or whatever other religion but these are the ones that are mentioned in the head what does it mean to be born in the fitrah your primordial nature has used focus has us focused on submitting to Allah submitting to Allah and the religion of Islam is the religion of submission and the religion of Islam is being a Muslim means the one who is who does submit who has submitted the one who submits this is not referring only to the sharia means there's the sharia of Islam which is the law of Islam and then there's the nature that the human being has been created in which is in sync even before the formal sharia of the Prophet's Islam came from there were still people who were created in their fitrah and we know that the prophets and many of the other righteous who came before the Prophet's Islam they were inclining towards their fitrah the fitrah as you believe has an inclination towards the belief in oneness in oneness of God that's the fitrah and anyone now life after one is born will cover that up will change it will add things to it but it's very difficult for someone to come to other conclusions on their own like so for example a child once they reach a certain stage will start to think about how are they created where were they created from and it is very much a normal inclination for that child to say I was created from a Lord from a God because Allah has deposited in them that child on their own would never come to the conclusion that I was created from a God who then had a son who then also manifests in the Holy Spirit who put actually all of its one and then the Logos is coming into the Holy Spirit through the man but it's really one God but it's actually three and then one of them actually died for my sin so I don't have any accountability in my life that conclusion a rational human being who's in alignment with their fitrah would never come to that conclusion on their own would never come to that conclusion on their own and neither did they that was never the teaching of Issa al-Islam but that was obviously changed by people in the first 100 to 300 years after Issa al-Islam passed away but the fitrah the fitrah will remain intact the fitrah will remain intact and so it can be uncovered which is why people convert or as folks will say revert to Islam because the fitrah is still there the goal of our life is to help our children remain in their fitrah for as long as possible and for ourselves as adults because inevitably our fitrah will have been messed up or tarnished or ruined or sailed in some way heal it back heal it back until it comes back and we start to realign with who we are supposed to be and then the goal for the rest for our responsibility as Muslims for as many people in society as possible is actually not a top down let me force people to accept a religion by Iqraha Fadina I said there's no compulsion in religion but rather how can one help somebody unlock what's already inside of them by portraying to them how beautiful it actually is so the the prophets sallallahu alayhi wasallam and then the scholars who have inherited from him what they do is they pull the beauty out of people to help them realize that it's already inside of them and then as a result of course Allah is the guide he guides them to Islam and so that's really the ultimate one of our one of our responsibilities as Muslims is to help people do that but we first have to force out ourselves and then inshallah that's the way that we can improve so this this concept of fitrah is really really important and any innocence any corruption of the innocence is corruption of the fitrah fitrah has a very pure quality to it so then he gets now into well what is the job of now one is created so what happens at this point he says now they are in the responsibility of their parents and their parents' job is to protect the fitrah and how do they protect the fitrah multiple things he says first is don't let them be exposed to things consistently that will distort their fitrah that will distort this primordial disposition and this innocence then number two give them a love of goodness so children innately love goodness they're pure very pure like they love cute animals and they love stuffed animals and all the cute things and the very normal thing for the child love right now but a but a human being an adult they don't they might not have the same you know the inclination is very out of random care especially people like really their heart is really covered like they won't even be impacted emotionally by certain things a sign of fitrah is also how often one cries so how often one weeps and is impacted by by deep events it's a sign that they're intact with their fitrah versus if their heart is covered and covered and covered that's a sign that and one doesn't is not impacted emotionally it's a sign that the fitrah is not as impact according to what he means to remind he says then they also are responsible to encourage them to do good and then discourage them and make them dislike and hate evil so they should love goodness and love the people of goodness and love the actions of goodness and they should hate evil the practice of it and the actions of the people who are practicing it the actions of the people who are practicing it and the practice of it so that's the second responsibility the third is uproot the love of dunya money, same, all these things from the heart. Don't let the child, as they're growing up, fall in love with these things, with the dunya. We talked about this again at length in the last class, in the text of Manga Zali, that what the dunya will do and how it will ruin the human being, and how loving this dunya and all the glitz and the glamour and the power and the corruption, everything that can happen because of the love of the dunya. So a parent who is following the teachings of the Sunnah, and we ask Allah to give us the Tophik to do that. They're following the teachings of the Sunnah, the promises on them. They will be working on these things. So then, before we get into the age of prayer and after that the age of puberty, why is, what does one do then in this society in which we live, where from age one or two, one is it can be exposed to so much Quran and so many public things. First one has to, we have to understand what the responsibility is of guarding a saint Allah. When Allah creates children, they're saints, saints meaning there's no sins upon them. So they're completely pure. So now a parent has been given, has been charged with the duty of protecting their innocence and maintaining that as much as possible. So now one now has to act like a shield in a lot of ways to prevent the onslaught that's coming forth in their way. Especially in Western society when there's no concept of tithra, there's no concept of, really of God in most places anymore. There's no concept of an afterlife. So then it's like, well it's free game, whatever anybody wants to do they want to do. So one has to be actively aware of those things. And starting from young ages, we have to make sure we're guarding our children against all the insidious forms of media that exist against all the problematic television shows, things on YouTube, even like inappropriate commercials. I mean, there's all sorts of filth that enters into the heart and it will immediately corrupt the heart, immediately corrupt the heart. Like I remember I went to someone's house and they had a Niners game on. And literally as we walked into the house, there in the Niners game, there's like 15 cheerleaders dressed completely inappropriately. And in this house, and my son is there, the year old, and I'm just like, can't remember is this, I can't let him see this is completely hard on for anybody to see. But you do not want to let a child get exposed to something like that, right? So now I don't think they intended on doing that, you know for them, it was just a football game or whatever is on. But one has to be aware if you're watching television, the commercials, the way people are dressed, the language that people are using, the music that's there, all of those things that impacts the child's heart and they will do the actions that they see. And so in the society we live in, where in a sense they want innocence to get corrupted. There's that's that's an intentional part of the agenda that exists in the society on all sides of the aisle for innocence to get corrupted. It's not something that's being hidden anymore. And it's part of a deeper, the jolly agenda that's been in existence for some time. One has to be on guard against this stuff and has to be aware that hold on a second. Yes, I'm living in the West, but I can't let the downfalls of Western society and the corruption and the problematic agendas and all sorts of crazy concepts that they're teaching, teaching children at age 7, 8, 9, you can choose your gender. There's multiple genders that exist. All of it is against Islam. All of it. Allah makes it very clear, very clear what the Islamic region is. Man and female. Halas. No in between. There's no, so all these pronouns, all these different types of things. This is not congruent with the Islamic upbringing. This will corrupt the vidra. And then children from a young age will start to get confused. And when they start to get confused, they will start to behave in a problematic way. And that's not appropriate. Same thing with the amount of ways in which this society teaches us to disrespect parents. Remember, if anyone has ever watched like Family Guy or South Park or all these shows, I mean, it starts even earlier than that. But it's when I was young, we came here from Pakistan. And so my parents barely understood English. So at one point we were watching like cartoons and the only cartoon that was on was The Simpsons. And so we were like children. We didn't know what this is. So we just had to cartoon cartoon. And then my parents like at some point started watching it with like they were watching it for a second. Like, wait, what is this? But this is not this is not child. I mean, it was absolute inappropriate jokes. And they do it very, very kind of insidiously. But this was this was like 25 years ago. If this was a while ago, it's gotten much, much, much worse. But the point is, is sometimes you just don't even know it was like, Oh, this is there wasn't an intentional effort to research what The Simpsons is. It is a cartoon. There's a baby in the show. There it's all probably fine, whatever it is. And same thing with a bunch of the other cartoons that were on TV. It wasn't until you get older, you realize, hold on a sec, these these cartoons have problematic thoughts. And they have problematic agendas behind them. And a lot of people create them have a lot of corruption. So he says, protect from that young age against all of these impulses with the goal of protecting the and if we didn't protect ourselves, like, you know, all the things we have to now do the work and do that. Hold on. I know there's certain things maybe that we were exposed to, that maybe we regret, right? And that were Haram influences. And now one has to undo all of that. And that's what practicing Islam just ended up itself. The Prophet says, I'm telling you, bathing in a river multiple times a day. That's what praying with you and praying is. So of course, he says, with somebody who does that five times a day, will they not be clean? Of course they'll be clean. So our actions have to help us from this. But if we get a chance to do it, you know, with children, with our children, we should do our best to do the utmost to repair him. He says the next is, then do not like any do not like yourself, your families, but especially your children associate with bad company. So we spoke about in the last class as well. And you'll see all the books. They're all linked because it's all one teaching at the end of the day, which is the teaching of the poses on, right? And so it was about bad company, bad friends, bad people to hang out with and the impact that has, because as people who are heedless or who are caught up in sinning or caught up in frivolity, that is going to have a negative impact on your family and negative impact on your children. And he says that in one quote, that the ruining of children, so of someone usually stems from associating with other people who have let that happen to their, to their children or to, or, or again, it could just be content these days. It doesn't have to be with people. It could just literally be with what somebody is consuming. But this is very much very important to protect oneself again. So if, for example, you pray, and your child sees you pray, so now they're getting to the age where they're going to pray, right? Hopefully, especially, you know, once they get to like seven, it's really critical that they pray. But even before then, children will do what their parents are doing. They'll start praying early. They'll start just trying to pray. And now you regularly associate or hang out with people who just don't pray at all, and like, just reject the prayer. And it's not like a valid excuse, like a woman on her cycle or something like that. It's like, they're not, and then the children reject the prayer. So now when that happens, what are the children think, hold on a second, why did they, why don't they, why aren't they different? What about, what about them? Why is that? And it doesn't make sense to them that, oh, well, they have a choice, and they're not going to do it. And that doesn't make sense that this prayer is obligatory, right? It's not like an optional thing. We're not talking here about reciting Quran, or, you know, doing something extra. This is an essential thing. So children should be exposed, ideally to families who are trying to uphold similar values as them, right? And, and ideally, that will then foster an environment where they're learning together and where they're understanding the importance of worshiping Allah. He says then that, he says, once they reach this age of seven, so again, he's literally going through time of birth until the time of death. So he's going to, this is broken up in terms of detail, which is why we'll flip this up into two or three times in total. He said they'll reach the age of seven. And at this point, one must get that prayer and start having discipline for when prayer is not done. Because prayer is the first obligation. Absolutely fundamental. The first question one is asked in the day of judgment, and it should be taken very seriously. And it's so from a young age, a child knows that there's not really an excuse. It's not about only praying two or three prayers. It's not about always missing fudger, but praying the rest. It's every prayer matters. And they're being told from an early age that every prayer matters. Now what's going to happen is the weight of that thing is going to be taken seriously. But their accounting does not begin until puberty. So it's mentioned in one narration that the pen is withheld for three people. A child until they reach puberty, a sleeper until they awake, and a mad person until they recover from their madness from their insanity. So the angels are not writing anything down until the age when a child is puberty. At that age, if somebody does any good act, right, from that age until one in puberty, 12, 14, 15, whatever age ends up being, it's recorded as a good deed for the parents. It's recorded as a good deed for the parents and the scrolls of the parents. And it is hoped that all the good deeds they also do afterwards will also be recorded in the parents' good deed, in the parents' scrolls, as well as the children's scrolls. Because the parents, hopefully, were the ones who helped them get there. So he says, then once puberty comes, accountability starts and they reach the stage of being mokallaf, of being accountable. And at this point, they already should have been taught the injunctions and the commands of Allah and the prohibitions. These things should have already been clear to the children. It's not that you start teaching at that age, because now the accountability is already started. So like, if you teach them at this point that it's haram to curse or whatever else it is, and they're saying bad words, and now you teach them that, hey, don't say bad words. At this age, that's going to become a problem, because the accountability has already started. The same thing with any of the other good deeds that one is supposed to do, or rather farayah when it's supposed to do, and then the haram that one is supposed to say way from. So he says, at this point, God commands two angels, one on their right, one on their left. These are real angels. It's not figurative that exists with every human being to record their deeds. The right is recording the good deeds, and the left is recording their sins. And Allah says that above you are guardians of the Qur'an, noble in recording aware of what you do. And so when the two receivers receive them seated on the right and on the left, he utters no word, but there is with him an observer ready. And if the child can learn, and we can learn from whatever age we're able to start learning this, but hopefully children can learn this early on, that somebody is watching you. So if someone starts off with the goal of knowing Allah is always watching me, but to help them realize that, they start with saying, I have two angels watching me and writing everything down. They act differently. How do we know? Take, start doing an action, and then have somebody come with like a big camera and start recording your action, you immediately start to straighten up and not act it that way. You see this with, especially when somebody is doing something wrong. Start if we're speeding on the freeway, and then we see a cop car, everybody slows down. And because you know now somebody is watching. Even though before, we were still going at the speed, but we didn't necessarily think anybody was watching. So the human being, I remember even yesterday, I was walking somewhere, and there was like a bunch of camera crews everywhere, like ABC7, all sorts of different crews, and with their cameras out. And I just thought of this example, I was like, you know, this is, I'm trying to like be on my best behavior, or the camera is going to publish it in the news, I don't know which who is there, we're just watching a bunch of people on the street. But the reminder should be, Allah has a recording of your whole, of our whole life, and it's being recorded. And Allah will start that, that accounting of that recording at the time where one hits two. And so then it continues, it continues, and continues until one does. And the angels, they're writing everything down, recording, recording, recording. And in, in when we repent, and in Ramadan, and in these blessed times, the bad is erased, which is great, right, which is a really, really big blessing that our religion has. It's not actually difficult to repent in our original religion, but that, that, that seriousness, and kind of like a, an awe of the accountability should be instilled from when somebody is young, so that they realize, and it shouldn't be taught in a way that's like, this is pretend, you know, it's a made up thing, it's a very real thing, and that the more the parents act like that, the more one will start to realize how serious this is. He says, and then at this point, one starts to remind them, right, so they had all this time where they just had to pray, or sorry, to play, essentially, and to just not have any accountability. And then the accountability starts, and so it's the job of the parents to continue reminding them while they're in their care that you're now accountable. You have to do the following, teaching them their religion, that also comes on the parents to teach us our religion. And if we didn't learn it, or if we haven't taught it, or if we have, we didn't get, get a chance to get taught it, we have to do that work ourselves, right, at whatever age we're at, whether it's 25 or 73, whatever age we're at, we have to at some point learn our religion, especially if we didn't learn it. This is all the part of the aim become essential to know what are the part of the aim. These are the individual obligations, the obligations of knowing your acts of worship, how to make budu properly, how to pray properly, how to fast properly, how to face the past properly, and then once someone has the ability to go to Hajj, how to go to Hajj, the nuances of when is prayer, how does one pray, when traveling, all these sorts of things, like not just, otherwise what happens to the human, but mine, is one just makes things up, and just like, well, I'll do it like this, or I'll do it like this because they weren't taught. But if somebody realizes the significance of knowledge from a young age, then that child will prioritize, and that family will prioritize knowledge as they continue to grow, and that's of the utmost importance to take knowledge very, very seriously. So he says, keep reminding, keep reminding, even at puberty, they still need encouragement and reminding and explanations of all the haram things, the prohibited things, and he mentions the major sins in here. So he says, remind them about the obligations, like prayer and fasting, keep them away from the prohibited things like adultery, drinking alcohol, homosexuality, wrongfully consuming other people's money, stealing, usury, interest, coercion, deceit, coercion, deceit, and the list of sins go on. So he mentions a few of the key ones to just make sure, and then whatever society you are in, that we are in, whatever sins happen to take precedence about society, one should make sure their children really understand of those sacred sins because different societies are confined for different types of sins, and that can literally be even different talents and communities depending on the time that they're going to sin. So this is also really, really important. So these obligations one has to learn. Then after this point, one hits the stage of youth. What is the stage of youth? The scholars define these stages slightly differently, but some say that this stage goes up until right after puberty, until one hits about 35 or 40. So this is a pretty significant stage. So even Josie, this scholar, he says that childhood ends at roughly 15, and then youth goes from 15 to 35 or 15 to 40. Youth is the main time that somebody is ideally getting their, not just their foundation, their foundation should happen in late childhood, early youth, but this is the time now for someone to start working and taking life seriously. Why? He says a few things happen in youth, so we'll cover this briefly, and then we'll end, so I don't want to get too late. So he says, this is a stage where one has energy. So the vast majority of people in this room are in the stage of youth, and others are still in their heart in the stage of youth. And so the himma that one has, the energy and the aspiration is of the utmost importance. Muslims traditionally always taught their children, especially in the early generation, the purpose of their life, and they gave them adult responsibilities when they became adults. Adult wasn't 18. Adult was once you became a little bit able-bodied and you had maturity mentally, so the age of, puberty in a little bit after that takes a little bit of time, right, to kind of come into that. But there was no intermediary stage of adolescence, or just long teenage period where everybody just gets to do whatever they want, all the excuses, disobey, do this, this, and that, and they would just, oh yeah, they're just teenagers. Totally fine. According to which religion is it totally fine? Not ours, right? In our religion, there is a Sayidna Osama bin Zaid, Rodiullah Khan, the Sahaba, he was 18 when he led his first army. He led the army into battle. And while the senior Sahaba were present, but the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, chose him specifically because of leadership qualities that he had at age 18. Imam al-Qadad, the one who wrote this book, the last book that we did with him, the Book of Assistant, so before the Book of Imam al-Qazali, he wrote that in his late 20s. He wrote that entire book. And in his teenage years, he would pray 100 rakah of Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam in the morning. What is Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam? That's an optional prayer that one does from about 7.40 a.m. right now, about 15 minutes after sunrise, until about 10 o'clock. After his long, Quran lessons, or his other lessons, just 100 rakah in the last shit, and we'll just go to different massages and keep praying and praying and praying. This is what they would do. We don't have to be like this, but we need to know who our teachers are from a young age, or who our, and our children should know the names of these people of the righteous. So names, of course, of the prophets and of the Sahaba and who to look up to. So that they're not looking up to like, oh yeah, this guy can shoot like web out of his fingers and like this guy can, can, you know, slide up great. That's all fine. Most of them are white dudes anyways, with certain, you know, Zionist agenda. So that's a whole separate thing. But at the end of the day, though they're not our role models, none of them. They're fake characters anyways. But our children in the society we live in, they've taught all sorts of just strange things. They're not really taught how to be adults, like kind of, and men taught, being taught how to be men and women being taught how to be women. Women are usually a little bit ahead of the men. So usually we're falling behind, you know, there's men until they're in their late 20s, early 30s to this day, still playing video games online, chatting with their buddies online, PlayStation, doing things. This is not the job of a man. A man has a job. A man has a dignity. A man has a responsibility, this umma. This has to be taught. The men around the prophets of Islam, they knew what it was to be a man. They understood this. So from the time of youth, he says a few things. He says, start to realize that this strength is most suited at this stage for earning your rewards of Ibadah, doing good works and avoiding sins and reprehensible actions. And at the same time, you're so strong and passionate that also be very careful for this is the age where most people become inclined towards desires. So that and everybody has a potential cycle that they might go through, where at this age, desires are very, very, very strong. And so one might incline a lot towards haram. But one can also the same energy that's going towards the haram and actually transform it and turn it into energy that goes towards really using this time wisely in obedience and so on. Really using this time wisely in obedience and so on. So he said, while it is unusual to find a youth established in obedience and neglectful of worldly desires, even Allah mentions or it's mentioned hadith that your Lord wonders at a young one who shows no passions, who doesn't exercise their passions. And another hadith, this is really amazing hadith that one of those among the seven of the shade of Allah's throne of the day of judgment is the young man or young woman who grew up in the service of God. So growing up in the service of God so he's defining this as 15 to 35 in a significant portion of that time if they were using that time to obey Allah and to resist the desires of society because this is the age in which everybody's like do anything do this have a party have a drink have a club have plenty of time to live. I have plenty I remember when I was in middle school middle school or high school you know there was a friend of mine and we would talk about he was Muslim we're the only two Muslims in the least that I knew and he was just like yeah well let's just do all of it we'll do a Hajj when we're like 40 and it was like and it was a very like real concept but like yeah just do Hajj and raise all the sins but like less everybody else is living it up right so why not and so that was like a very real thought that crosses the mind when you're young because the desires are strong everybody's in relationships everybody is maybe maybe at some point gets caught up and using some substance of some sort and so one wondered why not me but he says this is what if someone teaches correctly from a young age Allah gives them Tulfiq he says their eternity is set for them just based on how they use their youth because it was such a strong time that think so much could have gone wrong especially in western society so many tests and temptations are in front of us growing up and so if one is protected from these Alhamdulillah and so Allah says Suwan Allah in another narration that oh young man or young woman who has abandoned their passions for my sake you are to me as are some of my angels that's how the love that you are to me you are to me as are some of my angels because you abandoned your passions not because you couldn't physically engage in them at some point someone has a desire they might not even have the energy to act on that desire no because you did it for me and for my sake so he says this is the age that one should really from 15 to 35 that one should really take seriously and one should seize the opportunities in this age really really find ways to use this time wisely in ibadah and worship as one gets older the Himmah is just not there one can't just go the same amount of time without sleeping as much or without eating as much fasting might become more difficult a lot of things become more difficult for somebody but when that Himmah exists instead of exerting all of that Himmah towards something that's fun or recreational or haram one should say I'm going to dedicate a portion of that and dedicated towards my Lord and as the prophet alaihi salatu as-salam said in one narration seize the opportunity seize five before five your youth before you get old this is the one he starts with why didn't he start with the others because this is so important seize the age when you are young before you get old and then your health before you fall sick your extra time your leisure time before you get busy your wealth before you get poor and your life before you die so life obviously all-encompassing one must seize this life before they die they use it before we get old so my advice to all of us that if we are blessed at this stage or if we have younger siblings or others to advise and to remind Allah says remind for reminding benefits to believers right? for that kiret kente kratan faram we need remind because we sometimes have to remember you know what I do have a purpose there is it there is a reason I'm here it's not just going to all go away and then our role model should be people who accomplished a lot in their youth spiritually and then that will help us realize yeah they can do it I can hopefully do a portion of that at least I can do a portion of that and then in one narration the feet of a servant will not move away from their place on the day of judgment until they're asked about five things their life and how they spent it and their youth and what they exhausted their youth in this is one of the key questions one asks and then their wealth and the five things we listed out how did they acquire it what did they do with it one of the key questions one has asked that we'll have to answer God for if we have to face reckoning on the day of judgment is what did we do in our youth what did we do when we were young how did we spend that time and it's totally okay and then we'll end with this it's totally okay to spend a portion of our time relaxing hanging out with friends playing sports doing recreational things you know working out all these things totally fine but what we want to avoid is getting into a phase where our kind of fun exceeds our seriousness or our seriousness is maybe five percent of the time and everything else is just about fulfilling some thing that makes us you know outwardly it's really really exciting that's what we want to do so for some people it might be that one is struggling to not do haram at this age that's the most important thing to stay away from and one it's much better to just be engaged in recreational like things than it is to be engaged in anything that's haram or impermissible but for somebody who's taking the spiritual path seriously now it becomes okay how do I use my leisure time as the Prophet ﷺ said to do ibadah or to do worship or to do learn some knowledge like 20 minutes a day an hour a day whatever time someone can do 15 minutes a week right to learn some Quran to memorize some Quran to serve our parents to serve our elders whatever good one can do bring good into our life and if at young ages we can start to create ways in which we encourage each other to good like one of my friends he had this he would oh he would wonder sometimes you just call me and he'd be like hey do you want to go feed feed the less fortunate unless you just go pick up a bunch of pizzas and feed the less fortunate and usually people on the call they're like hey you want to go watch a movie you want to go and so okay now like a couple friends would get together they would still get to kick it they would still get to like eat food and hang out but in that time they were praying together and they were feeding people who are less fortunate together that's like an example of a way in which one is using their energy and their youth that that intention that he had it was it was it was a way to use that time wisely right and so these are examples in which one can try to spend spend their time he says youth is the time when acquiring knowledge merit and ideally attaining to positions in the religion and and are possible so this is this is and then then a poet says in one poet if one does not prevail in the nights of their youth when they're young then they shall never prevail even if they live long because it's most of your life other than youth isn't that the most critical part of your life so take what you can from it and don't neglect it neglect it not and they the righteous credit assessors used to advise those when they received young people they said use your youth before you become like us old people and too weak to perform any acts of goodness right and that at some point they regret by sinking that you know what I could have done so much more why didn't I do it we don't want to be in that stage we want to be in the stage we say you know Alhamdulillah yes I could have done more but I did do my best that's what we should teach ourselves our children and anyone in this stage that there's a purpose and there's a time and this is the key time this age and this age has a time limit and it expires and as Imam al-Razali says in one of his books that your time is your capital every minute or second that goes away is time you'll never get back ever you can't buy that back someone can give you a billion dollar investment or a billion dollars if you just hand to you and you can never say you know what I'm going to buy back the last one hour of my life impossible so using time wisely and investing in it investing it to then reap rewards for the Akhira is of the utmost importance and specifically we should try to make sure we do it in this stage and the stage is leading up before youth should help lay the foundations for using the time wisely after so with that we'll end and then next time we'll get into the stage of maturity advanced ages called seniority which is 50 to 70 so maturity is about 35 to 50 and then 50 to 70 and then after that it's one is one passing into the stage you can come into it and then everyone passes away so this is like the general structure anybody can pass away at any time obviously as was mentioned in the beginning so with that if there's any questions we'll do a few questions yeah yes the five for five so it is third question it is seize the opportunity to make use of five things before five things your youth before you grow old your health before you fall sick or lose your health your free time or leisure time before you become busy and occupied that's the third the fourth your wealth before you grow poor and fifth your life before you die these are the capital that the human being has in this life yes like using your life before you die that part it's a good question so I think the first four are actually kind of like commentaries on the final one basically so it's like your youth before your old age your health because your life essentially is your time and your health and your your money your income and then overall your ability and those are the constitutions essentially of your life but you can think about that in a deeper way as well where one uses the ultimate purpose of their life wisely so it's not just that okay I'm going to use like the day to day wisely but like I'm marching towards a direction and I know what that direction is and I know that I'm moving towards a direction where I'm going to meet a lot so I'm making intentions regularly even if I can't do the action I'm hoping and planting the seeds even though I don't see the fruit being ultimately coming to fruition and so on so that's the kind of sense I get so sorry something that preserves right yeah something that preserves your humility and fosters in the traits that Allah wants us to get in this life to ultimately present ourselves before Him so once someone dies it's done there's no deeds left I mean there's a few deeds you saw the Qajariyah and then your children can donate certain deeds and your favorite but for the most part your deeds are done so the prophet was constantly reminding us and is constantly reminding us use the entire life that you have because that's it 40 years 60 years 70 years and then after that it's eternity so every minute had a major impact in the next life if one used it or didn't use it yeah sister what can what is that good question to what extent can du'a change your provisions or what's written for you so there's various hadith which talk about the impact of du'a and then what is meant by what's written and then the different stages of something that is actually written the thing that we should operate under is that du'a can change things there's one narration which mentions that du'a can change your other at a very different level though and this is a plane we can't understand Allah already knew that you were going to make that du'a and He enabled you and inspired you to make the du'a and so at a higher plane a higher dimension because Allah is eternal and doesn't operate in past present or future it's all present for Allah it was already given to you but the way that we should think about it is that that our du'a can't have an impact and then beyond that everything will just lead to like philosophical confusions because the human being the human intellect can't interpret these different realms the realm of the java root and the malakut and so on and so forth it'll just lead so so the the holasa is the summary is that we something is written we make du'a for things that and if we're inspired to make those du'as then we hope that those du'as in shalom will be accepted and will always result in some form of good for us but it gets very nuanced that question is like the question that the greatest thinkers of the religion have grappled with and have written lengthy lengthy books about yeah homer yeah so the question is the question is about how do we think about what we expose our children to and how you protect them without keeping them in a in a in a you know space level the whole time which you know sometimes I try with that I can't find one that works and yeah if you have one let me know and then and then at what point do we like start exposing them to things to kind of expose their you know build their immune system Allahumma sallallahu alayhi wa sallam so what what has been taught in our understanding is one has to do their best but one cannot rely only on their efforts so that's the first principle here meaning you have to rely on Allah at the end of the day and if one is not coupling their protect their attempts at protecting their children from haram with du'a regularly in tahajjud breaking themselves before their Lord in the deep parts of the night we've been before Allah yeah Allah protect my children yeah Allah protect my children then one can expect that one is essentially relying on their efforts right if and it doesn't have to be at that time specifically but that's the time that we are taught in our religion where the the abid the worshiper is is having their intimate moments with their Lord begging their Lord for whatever deep things are on their mind and so this should obviously be one of them and given how important it is so that's the first thing reliance is ultimately on Allah because you could do all the things and it's up to God what direction He takes somebody in that being said one does take all the precautions and it should be done so in a wise manner where you don't normalize things just because the society you live in has normalized them so it's almost like sometimes we might water something down and say well yeah no it's fine everybody's doing it so I have to socialize them no no no no hold on a sec just because everybody's doing it doesn't make it okay and this could be something as small as I mean it's not small but for example if our children go to public school and they learn history written by these occupying Zionist minded people incorrect history history that overemphasizes one group of people and everybody else is just throwing under the bus at least what we were taught in school now you're going to teach your children something and then as Muslims you don't learn anything prideful about your history even though while the dark ages were happening for the Europeans and for the Khufar the enlightenment was happening for the Muslims and so they don't teach you these things so from that even that agenda has an intention behind it I would argue it's essential for Muslims to protect against that agenda but everybody would have their own kind of approach to doing it but the fundamentals of not exposing them to Haram there's five there's what you see what you listen to what you say what you eat and then what you basically let into your into your heart thoughts that you let into your heart the frameworks the philosophies that you're exposed to one has to do their utmost to do whatever they can to protect them from the most difficult of Haram even if that you might consider it over sheltering I would our teachers have mentioned that in the society we live in because it's been watered down so much the the bar has become really really low so it's highly unlikely that one is going to to kind of go over over the top right but it depends on your own himma and your own intentions for your children right so if you go into like a grocery store and they have you know some random song playing like and you're like I can't let my child listen to the song so I'm going to leave the grocery store there's like a nursery rhyme playing you're like my other instruments or haram I mean then that's I don't prescribe to that I would think that's a little much because somebody wants to that's their product right to do that but if like somebody is like you know playing highly inappropriate music in front of your children and they're just listening to it and being exposed to it we know that has a spiritual reality to it and one might want to avoid maybe once like a concert where that that is taking place right so you everybody is going to have their bar and going to expose it so it have the intellect must be guarded the heart must be guarded the eyes must be guarded the ears must be guarded and the people we hang out with and do they talk about gossip do they talk about that do they backbite do they do we backbite like all the things we do as parents that our children are exposed to sometimes it's on us that we start with always and then kind of talk about what else they're exposed to media is arguably the biggest store to share it is the biggest satanic influence it is so to do so effectively would mean to shut off majority of media access that's that's what the view at least I've tried to so I would not recommend having a television in your house and not letting at least like a like a limitless watching of these types of things highly highly highly regulated intentions of what's being consumed but that might be not something that everybody would do but up to everybody individually but just being mindful what haram influences can come through these types of things the last question about when do we start exposing their immunity you never throw them out there to expose their immunity to the haram what we're taught is you explain to them like you get to a certain point and now a child might start having feelings for the opposite gender you don't just say hey go experience it it's instead you say hey you're at this point now let's talk about what does that actually mean and so knowledge in our religion always always always start it starts everything and knowledge is in our religion is amazing because the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam talked about there was no no topic that was too uncomfortable in the hadith everything intimacy all of these things are all spoken about right like it's not something that is that we're shy from where especially when it comes to protecting someone's religion so one would teach them through knowledge and through examples of what not to do and still I think protect from people who might expose you know be exposed to that but all of everything I just stated is purely theoretical because I only have a child who's very small so to the parents in the room who have much older children is there advice you would add to that yeah so I want to make the subject we're talking about that you are my understanding is like in the same way you are and you explain to the law the answers to what I've learned is not to like you asked a specific thing and look for that to be the answer that's specifically the key that answers right like the form of the religion or something better or something in the future after it like so don't go expect that I want this job right here right that job is right so I'm learning how to do this yeah always the dua the adab is ended y'all let do what's best for me and because I don't know what's best you were the most knowledgeable yeah but all the advice about you know you know kids like to explore with their stuff is the sovereign dimension like the company need to be like the parents being mindful when they're all surrounded this is what your kids are going to be exposed to with you know so basically like you're married your parents friends are married when they lose our dad knows other thoughts they're going to think okay if he's feeling so okay put a center of boundaries somewhere just in the institution of marriage you know so it's like it's not already that it's like the blueprint and now you can put everything in it's each part and you know where it goes they'll see where it all takes so and then it's really not a shelter or anything but once your kid actually brought something come forward and put you down you know so it's it's everything you say like just teach them all the combinations of being and not that it's just a word we can teach them about and then once they start to get exposed to certain things they don't know how they're going to turn like the ways in which they learn who is them and then just that actually because this is more of a tangible experience that I had I was over a relative's house and I remember like one of the dogs took a married age right and then the other one was around like 10 years old so then I asked them okay well I'm putting you like what you're playing on being married are you okay with your life and then at 18 years old a bunch of people are that a problem that's not interesting and then I go a little 10 years old you know small 10 years old and then I asked her in the most kind of way like who do you want in your house to be in your life are you okay with that not a one or a one kind of and then she looks at me with the sweetest something that's going on it's in a come on about that a problem and then like in that moment I was like open to this like whatever this brother is doing like under the law and it's like it's like I think it's like what you were talking about with your fifth year it's like being in the community there on being as individuals at times we have the capacity to conduct people close that's the thing that I lost with in front of us but if you preserve it if you like go close to the need if you be a part of your home school child like some of the greatest companies of our community to be overly sick or by my life and that's the heart of the child the life does that well hopefully share and share and then thank you so much and any of the sisters yeah going um um in reference to what most of the public said about like exposing and then children oversimplifying I feel like children oversimplifying they don't have a conflict with even with parents so um they they're they're operating on the district and just the district until we as your parents or family members or citizens starts to add stir the pot and add ingredients based on culture based on our a key to or like our interpretation but on is like right then we start adding to the soup but um in terms of like exposure right we can only do so much reliance on a lot is this first and formal daddy for like me personally I'm going to be first school like my family here they're not so right all uh is the future right inshallah well whatever a lot of great my children or no children how do I circumvent or circumnavigate relations daddy I love ties and thank you thank you thank you protecting my child and wouldn't protect them my child comes at the cost of maintaining these relationships with the the plot or if you're building to the Muslim right people with baby opera right is that is that a question yeah okay so the question is what has if we are engaging with family members who are non-Muslims or maybe in Muslims whether or not practicing or maybe have an incorrect understanding of things what's the balance between maintaining the family ties but then not allowing our children or ourselves to be impacted by that so there's one always begins with the spiritual elements and then one goes into the practice element so Allah mentions in the Qur'an that the when you recite the Qur'an Allah puts a hijab between you and between those who do not believe what does that mean that the recitation of the Qur'an in and of itself and doing certain types of atkar in the morning and in the evening and then reciting certain surahs will automatically allow for a shield in the spiritual realm to protect one this shield has multiple advantages it has the advantages of of protecting the heart against the sins and protecting the mind against problematic ideologies improper aqida or just atheistic philosophies and so on and so forth so at minimum one does the three khulz qul wallahad so the salaf surah nas three times in the morning three times in the evening the aids of kursi and then there's various other supplications many of you have that book or the app fortress of the Muslim right that it has them all in there of the da'as once you do in the morning in the evening those must those should be taken more seriously than any physical medicine we take if we have a pain and we take Tylenol before we ask Allah for that pain we're to be relieved with the pain we haven't realized really the the who is the one who's going to relieve pain similarly when it comes to these things the spiritual precautions one starts with that's first the second is with that understanding in mind one always keeps a balanced approach to engaging with family and with people who might have kind of an improper understanding so until they've done something wrong one does not assume that they will do something wrong right so if we go over to someone's house and nothing wrong has happened but then our child tells us hey I saw them do this or do this or do whatever else it is that was like you know maybe they said something that was inappropriate or someone might have drank alcohol in front of them but you didn't know that they were going to do that now one knows okay hold on a second if I knew before they would for sure do that I should not take them to that environment but if it happens like where you had no understanding that that haram was going to take place you now explain okay that's not something we do right this is something that is not from our religion and one walks through the wisdoms in our religion behind why that's not appropriate and why it's actually a better lifestyle than one lives if someone stays away from those haram things now when one interacts with those people there's a couple of different ways you can do it I can do it in environments where that's not going to take place so if everybody is going to a dinner where for sure there's going to be a lot of drinking and there's going to be a lot of these things perhaps I don't take my children to that dinner but I just go to say salaam or to say hello whatever else it is with my anonymous family or one says you know what I'm just going to stay away from it I'm going to invite them to my house and I'm going to invite them to my house a lot and when they invite them to my house they say hey no alcohol in my house none of it but you we're going to eat we're going to have barbecue we're going to do all the different things you know but we're not going to engage in those types of things one can meet up at you know a picnic or something so one finds creative ideas I know one of many of our teachers actually many of our shoe their families are non-muslims or they converted to Islam eventually after like decades they still would go to the family reunions they still would go to the different things but they would just very wisely navigate what was being done and would just remove themselves from certain situations when that situation got to a kind of bad instance when it comes to the Muslim family members one has to be careful that improper Aqidah usually very rarely is discussed in like a social setting for example so for so if somebody believes it doesn't prescribe to the school about the Sonoma Jama'a let's just say that even at the Shia it's highly unlikely when it's going to get into that discussion and like a family dinner I would not think it's wise to say I'm never going to see that person because their Aqidah they prescribe to this school of thought and I prescribe to this school of thought that would be in the realm of where Allah says do not create sectarianism and sectarian differences this is something that the Muslims have we really struggle with as a community with Alhamdulillah that at least now we are uniting against Zionism and we're as Muslim Sunnis Shias, Sufis, Wahhabis so everybody is uniting but otherwise there was a lot of this year this I'm this so we can't hang out and lastly one tries to show our family the good in people instead of finding the one or two things that they do every one of us is imperfect and every one of us is going to sin but it doesn't mean that we stop interacting socially we always try to say you know what yeah maybe that person didn't pray at the gathering and it's not ideal I'm not never going to go to their house because they didn't pray but instead we're going to talk about you know they did they fed us a really good meal they spent a lot of time cooking for us then feeding people as mentioned in the Quran as a virtue so one tries to show the positives of that instead especially when these are staring interactions and not like day-to-day interactions and the day-to-day interactions I would advise us being a lot more careful about who is it supposed to but like once every three months six months the random umbil that you know maybe no one is the closest to that umbil might say a thing do things and you just kind of move yourself it's hey I'm going to go check on the pie or something and just like get out even if there's no pie just get out of the situation so um we're at time and we're getting it's getting pretty late so um I think we're going to conclude if there's any questions online we'll take one question online and then we'll go to them so I'll answer every moment so this course the class is 7 p.m pacific time we're in California Oakland, California it's live streamed every week but 7.15 is what actually starts Oakland, California Lighthouse Moss the name of the book for those who are asking is the lives of man by Imam al-Haddad that's what we're talking through and we just started the text the name of the book the lives of man the lives of man yeah short book highly recommend get on amazon for like $12 by Imam al-Haddad H-A-D-D-A-D so if we didn't get to the questions we'll get to them next time apologies for that and these questions these will be posted for those who are asking it will be posted on YouTube the lives there's also a live stream on the MCC East Bay YouTube in case anyone so we're live streaming to MCC YouTube so for those asking with some community center East Bay YouTube channel and shall it'll be posted like you know that's what it is we'll go ahead and make the end peace and blessings of God for the peace and blessings of God for the love of God for God the praise of God in heaven and in paradise We ask you Ya Allah, you are the most merciful, you are the one who protects, you are the one who gives strength Ya Allah that you, that you store your mercy and your protection Ya Rabbil Alameen and your assistance upon our brothers and sisters in Gaza and in Palestine Ya Rabbil Alameen Ya Allah that you stop the oppression and the corruption and the genocide and all of the things that are taking place there Ya Rabb, we ask Ya Allah on behalf of all of those who cannot ask on behalf of all of those who are struggling who don't have food that you feed them who don't have water that you give them water to drink who don't have clothing that you clothe them who don't have families that you take care of them Ya Rabb, we ask that you put them under your special protection your special Inaya and your special Bilaya la Rabbil Alameen we ask that you take care of all the muslims we ask that you give Fardaj to the Muslims in Gaza to the Muslims in Palestine Ya Allah we ask that you give them the best of Fardaj the best of relief, the best of mercy Ya Rabbil Alameen we ask that you give relief to this Ummah and that you you give victory to this ummah and you give them victory over these kufariya, we ask that you make their feet firm and that you give them patience and that you give them to what will be in you and that you give them the highest and highest and highest of rewards in the highest stations of Jannah Ya Rabbil Alameen for all of the difficulty and adversity and tribulation and sacrifice that they are making, we ask that you accept all of those who have passed as shohadah and that you give them the highest stations of shohadah and that you give them the best of lives in the next life Ya Rabbil Alameen. We ask that you help those Ya Rabbil Alameen who are struggling, you say that you do not turn away the dua'ab, the oppress and there are so many who are oppressed, who are turning to you Ya Allah, we are weak before you as an ummah, we have nobody to turn to, no country, no buddy, no ruler but we have you Ya Rabb and you are all we need, we turn to you Ya Allah as an ummah Ya Rabbil Alameen on behalf of our Muslims Ya Rabbil Alameen on behalf of this ummah, we ask you Ya Allah that you send your special special special assistance and protection and strength and madad and special special special rahma and mercy Ya Rabbil Alameen to the children to the men and to the women and to the elderly and to all of those in Palestine who are suffering Ya Rabbil Alameen and to the Muslims all around the world who are suffering, we ask that you give relief to this ummah, we ask that you allow us Ya Allah in the blessings that we are that we are soaking up in the time that we have and in all the health and all the wealth and the protection and the comforts that we have that you let us take advantage of these moments and that you let us seek knowledge and that you let us worship you properly and that you let us focus on you and that you do not allow our time to be wasted and that you do not allow us to be people of distraction and people who waste our lives the way we ask that you allow us to use our lives wisely and to use our lives in the best of ways and to use our lives in accordance with the Sunnah of the message of Salallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa salam we ask you for everything good the prophet alayhi wa salam asked for and we asked that you give us protection for everything evil that he sought protection from and Salallahu alayhi wa salam alayhi wa salam alayhi wa salam Sayyidina Muhammad alayhi wa salam alayhi wa salam alayhi wa salam