 I mean, you've been through so much. None of us really wanted to talk about it, what we had gone through. We all wanted to forget about it. And we're going to talk about your extraordinary bravery and what you've been through since. Wanted to deal with it, how I wanted to deal with it, which was just shut up shop and take it on the chin. But even if I didn't want to talk about it and the soldiers didn't want to talk about it, there were plenty of people who did. We were British soldiers. We were sent to war to do what we've been told to by politicians, only to then come back and find ourselves fighting another battle this time to clear our names. Mr Speaker, it has been confirmed that British soldiers did not carry out the atrocities that have been falsely attributed to them. There's that quote from Churchill about how a middle glitters, but it also casts a shadow. This is case in point. The shine has gone lost in the shadows of the acquisitions that followed. Brian, how are you, brother? Yeah, I'm good, thank you. And thanks for having me on. Appreciate it. I mean, we've been trying for a while now, so it's good to get on. Yeah, we seem to be passing ships, like I'm with a lot of my guests on social media. We're out there and doing our stuff. And when we finally get together, it's all good, huh? Absolutely, absolutely. I'm going to start by asking, where do you get your drive from, Brian? We'll probably come on to talk about everything that you've been through, which is enough to, you know, tread down 10 men, if not 100. But you're so busy all the time. You seem to get so much done. Is there any philosophy we can learn from there? Do you know what? I'm not the oracle, and I'll never claim to be someone who thinks they are. I'm just driven by hard work. I think, you know, we're very privileged to be here. I'm very privileged to have what I've got with a very loyal wife. And I'm a loving family. And my drive to success, really, is for my family. If I'm honest, it's clearly I've got goals. And I really try to achieve each goal that I set out to do. And if I can't, then I'll really put on the lessons that I've learned throughout trying to achieve whatever goal or mission that I set out to achieve. And I have failed in a few, but I've looked at it, pulled out or extracted some key learning points and gone again. So, you know, there are so many people out there who are driven, who are motivated, who inspire me. And it's very infectious because I see this sort of saying people in similar arenas to what I am, whether it be in business or whether it be in sort of my health life, because I do try and keep myself fit, I try and set myself challenges. And but I'm inspired by the people who are doing their thing as well. So I'm grateful for some of the messages I get sent that people look at me as a little bit of an inspiration, which is very flattering because I'm just a normal dude, you know, just trying to do my thing to try and keep the family afloat, to try and stay ambitious, to keep on the plan. You know, I think most people do have a plan on whether want to be in three to five years time. And and I just try and not overwhelm myself with the pressure which comes with that because I'm well aware I can only I can only control the now and the present day. I don't know what's around the corner tomorrow. So there's no point trying to, you know, achieve too much. Just one day at a time, stick to the plan and let's try and achieve. So, yeah, long winded answer. But like I said, I'm just a normal guy. It's not a short winded question, though, mate, is it? And I I know it must be the centre of your life as it is the centre of mine is trying to use our experiences to make a go of it now. Yeah. And there's a billion and one points we could draw out of this. I think they're just fascinating for everybody who's, you know, wants to own their life, basically. But one of them is like there's that old school thing where you put the hours in, isn't it? You know, you work and then you work and you do the 18 hour days and you get up and you work. And that's kind of clashing now with with the more sort of lifestyle orientated, you know, definitely spend time with your kids while they're young. Yes. Yes. And do you know what's really, do you know what put that into perspective for me? Lockdown. 100 per cent. That is a true huge positivity that's come out of the last 11 months, 10, 11 months for me is there is so much more to life than the business, than my self goals and being driven. And we absolutely should maintain that. But what really is important and I'm only speaking on behalf of Woody is the family have got to fit into that so much more now because for me, they were the ones that were constantly here for me when I was going through some real tough times. When I was paid on with adversity, trying to figure out how can I get up in the morning? How can I take another step forward and feeling everything that I was going through the people that were there. With my family, you know, I've just gone on an incredible journey with my oldest who will have his bags packed and off on his journey to become a paraphernalia. Now, he starts the first two weeks of next month. Then we've just trained together most days. I've tried to give him a steer without not getting involved too much, but just being there for him, if he needs me, testing him in the physical arena and just trying to make him uncomfortable now and again to make sure that he's got a little bit of understanding what resilience feels like, what pressure feels like. And actually, your body is an incredible you know, system that can go that little bit extra when needed, but it's down to you to fulfill that. So I've gone on this brilliant journey. Also, it's reconnected us because my military, like so many career. It kind of had an effect with our relationship because I was away so much. If I wasn't on ops, I was training. If I wasn't training, I was on course, you know, and in that era, we were fighting two simultaneous wars with Iraq and Afghanistan. So I was bouncing from theater to theater then training. So this last 10 months for me is, you know, just revitalizing our bond and getting amongst it. And yeah, we've it's been great. So yeah, it's really important for for me now to figure out how I maintain that life balance because it is now massively factored into the business plan is key. Do you have any sort of key rules? Like, do you turn your phone off at a certain time of in the evening? Or do you have set hours? Do you try and wake up early? I think waking up early is in the in the military gene, I think. I mean, it's so drilled and we've come from this institution where. You're up. There's no snooze button and you're just getting amongst it. But I'll tell you what we did. We had and that's a bit random, but we had a lazy spa for a while during the first lockdown as we were going into it and the weather was really nice. And I thought, do you know what, we were all we were always in there and it was the first time we were having real good conversation. No phones just in the latest one. We were just talking about all sorts and it was just really nice to have this kind of real family time and without any gadgets. So I thought I'm going to get a I'm going to get a hot tub because we use the latest file, which was a trial period. I wasn't going to spend money on this kind of materialistic items if we weren't going to use it and it was just going to be a gadget. It needed to be money well spent. So I did. I committed. We got it. And what we do is we have dinner as a family. And then once we've tidied up, we will go into the hot tub. And that's our time. So we we make time. Yes, around the dinner table is very important. And and we have conversations. But our release time is definitely chilling in the hot tub. And sometimes it's with a beer or a glass of wine. And and we have a conversation with the boys because well, baby around the corner is off and we won't see him as much anymore. And then Charlie is not far behind him. God knows what he's going to do. But it's really important to create them really intimate moments because, you know, we know how fast time goes. And yeah, we're just about to wave away our our oldest boys. So yeah, it's important. Gosh, so much to say there as well. This whole tablet, you know, phone thing is. It's a big thing. And it it's something about it. It's just so ugly. Just the notion that a family and I'm not judging anyone here because you see your own family slipping into that. You look up and all three of you are on on your blooming device. And I mean, just turn it off. Two seconds. There we go. That's good. Go on. Yeah, it's we're letting time slip away on a false, you know, on a false engagement, i.e. the internet, as opposed to what you've just said, real, real family time. Yeah. And I think, you know, for me, I'm a realist and it's not going to get the digital is only going to be more improved, more innovative. So we have to learn to adapt with that. It's it has a great purpose. So it has its downfalls because of just the basics, getting the engagements, going, having conversation, you know, paying attention to the conversation instead of, you know, it's it's a drug, isn't it? It's it's you're there and you're picking up all the time. It's forever. It's it's like a weapon system. It's always in an arms distance away from you because it's a habit. But also people rely on it for for their jobs, whether if they're on e-commerce, you know, I have my job. It's it's run off the internet, basically. It's, you know, my keep attacking apparel is all done from that platform. So it I have to spend time on that. And and it's not me constantly on social. It's actually it's what brings the money into the household. So yeah, it's I have to. And like other people learn to live with it, accept it. But you can still have brown rules. You can still have rules which encompass your family values, which is, you know, whether or not it can be anything. But the bottom line is you try and make time for one another without devices. And ours is is in the hot tub. How is your your can't call it in a parallel business? That's not being rude, is it? No, it's a yes, a sports and lounge apparel. It's doing really well, Chris, and I. You know, I say that being humble, it really has taken off. And I think the reason why it's gone like it's gone is because so many people can relate to it. So many people can relate to the mantra as in keep attacking. It has a sublimal meaning, one that is very personal and unique to the individual. It states in chaos or in calm. No matter what you're experiencing, if you're willing to show up and keep attacking each day, it will surpass. And so many people. Have got the wrong journeys through adversity. That's it's not just me. Life life isn't at one point will draw up some real challenges because it's the beauty of life. Life is stunning, but it's a demand. And it's how you adapt to adversity. It's how you try and conquer what you're going through. And it's difficult. And I think people can relate to it in the way that it's either helping them get through cancer, which I've had messages from that someone has a big board in their kitchen called Project Keep Attacking. And it's Monday to Sunday. Basically, there's a timeline of appeals, appointments, physio, fitness, what they eat. And her project is called Keep Attacking. And it's really emotional because when I read these messages, it's just I'm so proud because when I before I launched it, I wanted to so the logo of Keep Attacking is I wanted it to be personal to the family. So it's the W in my surname. But the mantra I wanted it for everyone to use, you know, because I knew. I didn't know. I thought people would connect with it. But then it just went and the messages, like I said, I was receiving. So I've had messages from mums and dads saying it's really helping their kids inspire and have full sight in their sports and wanting to really achieve because I know talent alone is not enough. They really have to squeeze out five percent and having Keep Attacking on their BMX helmets is helping them do that. And I think that's brilliant. You know, someone in hospital going through their blood. So there's doing their transfusions and wearing their Keep Attacking hoodie or t-shirt, you know, because they're on a recovery or they're going through the thick of it within cancer, they say they can't give up. They need to try and overcome this and beat this. And it's really helping them do that. Or if you're recovering, you know, it's fine. We all go through a recovery stage, whether it be injury or whether it be through trauma or through drug addiction. If you can recover, you can still wear that mantra. Absolutely, you know, because you're showing up every day, you're drawing back them curtains and a little bit of lighting, which sometimes are very hard to do. And if you can throw a t-shirt on, which gives you that extra two percent to then get downstairs and then, you know, crack on with your day, then it's achieved the same. So for me, the message, the clothing is a byproduct to the message and people just want to feel it and and get it on and get out and they're running and I've created just a really strong community that people just get it and it's it's going from strength to strength. And I'm just I'm really proud of it. You know, I launched it with zero money with huge risk. But my hard workout worked the risk for me and it's it's definitely paid off. So I'm I'm really chuffed and pleased. Yeah, you've done well, mate. Congratulations. What about the the day to day running of that kind of business? Do you? I mean, I've got my books on my website. And to be honest, it's for someone who's got admin as bad as me. Or it's not that my admins bad. It's like I like doing certain things and others are just I will procrastinate. But when an order drops in, I'm like, oh, I know, I know. Sorry, folks, it's a terrible attitude to have. But but I mean, you kind of it takes a lot to pack all that stuff and send it out and then you've got if the size doesn't fit and the person sends it back, do you have to do all that yourself? Or you you work in the day when someone else does that for you? Now, this is I'm in Keep Attacking HQ now. So this is our headquarters and my spare room is all racked out. And I got to the point that I needed to employ someone. So I said to my wife, Lucy, you've got to come and work for me. I just can't keep up with everything really. I can't do it on my own. So Lucy was the first employee for Keep Attacking. And if I'm honest, she runs the show, she runs the shop, she does the customer service to an exceptional standard. We have to deal with returns. It's nature of the business that I'm in. You know, if people if it doesn't fit or people don't like it, it's fine. You know, it's the courier's in kind. And we continue to do what we do best and with our values intact. So it's yeah, I needed a support, needed help. And I'm glad that, you know, Lucy can come in and take ownership of that. And it's given her a great purpose. She's really passionate and embedded within the brand. So yeah, we're going to strengthen the strength. And hopefully soon we are going into a location that we can really start to grow, scale up and do it properly. Because this kitchen serve this purpose and it's now it's leaking. You know, there's boxes behind me on the floor there. It's it's kind of leaked to within the household. And also, like we said before, I have to find a fine line with work and family life. And I feel working from home when everything is in my house, I can't escape it. It's just too easy to go up and crack something out. Like, you know, 2300 hours, there's an order what comes in. I'll struggle to leave that. And I know it needs to be fulfilled. So it's easy to do that. And actually, you shouldn't. It should be like your normal working hours. It's definitely difficult because at the moment I'm eating, sleeping, keep attacking, which is brilliant because I'm really passionate about it. And I can I know where I want it to go to. But I have to figure out that fine line. And that's what hopefully we're going to be doing in the next sort of month or two, moving out of here and going into a location. It all seems really promising, mate, doesn't it? It's it's a bit like the no fear. Do you remember the no fear logo brand? Those two words, even though it's probably worn by people that were terrified most of the time. It's, you know, it's just a winner winner, isn't it? I see the same for keep attacking. It's it it it sounds timeless. Yeah, and I think, you know, look, I don't know where it's going to go to. I know that it's had really good organic growth. I haven't done overly a lot on marketing, advertising that comes into phase two, which we're going to shortly be going into. And just the organic movement traction that it's had, I think. Yeah, people are really getting a hold of it and thinking this is just really it's just a great. Two words to have on, you know, because if I'm not going to attack my business and try and do the best for it or attack this illness that I'm going through or, you know, in that sport and arena. The extreme sports arena, the boxing arena, I think, you know, there's it's endless for that mantra to go. And that's what I need to do as well is not get carried away. Just keep it rained in a little bit and then just kind of hit different elements. I mean, the military has been a great connection because what a what a mantra for the military as well. You know, I'm from a front line arena myself. So a lot of lads who, you know, are still serving. And like Woody Pinger's over some kit makes this is quality, like for what we're about and our day to day job is to go on the offensive. You know, we know the best form of defense is going on the offensive action and to attack. And it was born from my back story, like I said, but everyone's got their own journeys within their life. So it's just really related. So what's this space, basically? Yes. So. Brian, was it hard for you then to go? We'll probably best to do this in a bit more of a chronological order. But. I'm guessing the 10 years when you were subjected to these false. Claims. There wasn't an awful lot of attacking you could do other than to just keep keep true to your story. Was that or keep true to the to the facts? Yeah, keep true to my values and what I stood for and my integrity, which was a daily reminder, but where keep attacking came in was. I showed up every day. Some days I didn't fancy it. Some days were tougher than others. You know, when it went in, when the allegations of murder, mutilation and mistreatment are for everything that we had done. You know, on the on that day of the 14th of May, which was the Battle of Danny Boy and being 23 as a young commander, making some huge decisions. And, you know, I'm not the only person in the military which have had to make some real demanding punchy decisions at that age. However. Not everyone went through the aftermath of all of that. And so it was very tough to. To continue moving forward. Constantly reminding myself that everything's going to be OK. Even though, you know, I was kind of, we were left to get on with it on our own. There was no ring of steel round us. There was no phone calls of support. That's both within the M.O.D. and also the British Army. I know I find it hard to criticise the British Army because I've got a love affair with them. I mean, it's definitely shaped me, made me the person I am today 100 percent. But I highlighted in my book that they did get it wrong. The duty of care was shocking and it really it hurt me because I was prepared to give my life for the British Army in a heartbeat and to not have anything in return. When I say this a lot, that I felt that I was fighting a harder battle on the UK soil on my home soil than I was in foreign fields, punching out every single day in 2004. You know, it was it was sad. But that's why I was so vocal about it. And, you know, it took from from 2009 when the allegations were made public because it became a public inquiry. Thirty four million pounds of taxpayers' money went into this inquiry. And it was, yeah, it was such a rollercoaster of emotions. It was draining. But, you know, I was I was willing to go that distance. And I was fatigued. There was many down days, but I got there in the end. And when we were found, well, it was Phil Shiner, the public interest lawyer, was found guilty on 12 accounts. It was a deliberate lies, reckless speculation and ingrained hostility. And it was all to do with money and greed. But the government allowed this witch hunt to to go on and and hurt people. You know, it's human life, though they were torturing. You know, it ended people's careers early. I've done 17 years and once the summary hearing came out after spending three and a half hours in the dock, getting questioned, getting everything that I'd stood for stripped back and felt like I was worthless, really, everything I stood for and did as a British soldier and a human being. They just stripped me of everything and it was tough. But when the when the. When the summary hearing came out. I needed to go on the offensive. I need to then attack and. Write about it. Speak about it. The injustice, the corruption, the lack of support. Not to hurt people to raise awareness and to try and make change. And recently, you know, we've had that offer. The new operational bill go through headed up by Johnny Mercer. And that wasn't because of me by any stretch. However, I did show up above the parapet. I went into a number of meetings. I was on a panel on lawfare with the biggest influences within the British Army, whether it be American, you know, common dance or British Brigadiers. You know, I was one of a few on that panel to say, you know, we have to protect if British soldiers get it wrong or Marines or airmen or anyone in that arena. And they get it wrong. They need to be punished. However, if British soldiers aren't getting it wrong and doing the right thing, how are they still being allowed to be punished? It's just it's it's beyond me. So we have to have something put in place for a statute of legislation or a law is changed. I don't know. British soldiers or the British Army or the military as a whole organization aren't above the law. And I say this regularly. We have to adhere to the law. We're educated on it. We understand rule of law. You know, we understand rules of engagement. But when soldiers are in extreme environments and are getting it wrong. But still allowed to be dragged over the colds for years and years later. It's unacceptable. So that's why I just went on the offensive with the interviews that I was doing. You know, the book that I wrote and then the film, you know, is around the corner. So that's also highlighting it. So yeah. It's such a it's an area, isn't it, where there isn't always either like a simple answer or a simple way of. Being or or a simple viewpoint that. You know, if you ask someone should I run over a child in my car unilaterally, if that's the right word or universally, you're going to get. No, not not. That's not good. Right. That's kind of like agreed. But when we go to war and acts are committed. Even if the act might be despicable and completely wrong, you're going to get a number of spectators ago. No, that's fine. It's war or. And sometimes that's that's a justified. Like response. Other times it's like, well, no, it's might be war, but there's still like some semblance of rules there. It was a bit like the Al Blackman. I mean, I'm guessing that you. Kept to kept an eye on that when it was going on. Very. I guess I'm trying to say it's not always black and white anyway, Brian, is it. No, it's not always black and white. I mean, war is brutal. War is confusion. And I think that war will have an imprint. On your life for the rest of your life. It's challenging. And like I said, it has it has a lasting print. And I think mine and ours work are very different. You know, when you actually dissect it and I don't really, it's not my place to get into, you know, someone else's story because I don't know the ins and outs of it, but we, it is two different areas for sure. But when, and I can relate to when I was in the courtroom and. I was getting hounded by lawyers who. Had no credibility to me and I don't know that's not as a disrespectful statement to any lawyers because they're very good in their arena and doing what they do. But they didn't know. They didn't know what was going on. The elements of the battlefield. They don't consider. What had been leading up to the 14th of May. What, how many casualties we had taken, you know, throughout that tour. How many times we were getting smashed by the enemy. Daily. Hourly. You know, all of this. Is a lead up. Yeah. I think it's a. A part to play. In your mental state as well. It really does. It has a huge effect. To the point of chronic burnout really, but they don't want to know that they're not interested. So when, when they're asking me questions, I'm trying to create. With my answer under all of this pressure, because I've never been to court before. I'm trying to. You know. Paint them a picture. I was 23 young Lance corporate at the time. And then years later, I'm in the courtroom, which I've then gone through my military. Command courses. So I'm educated a lot better as well. So I can stand up there and try and find that fine balance. But it was. It was so difficult for me to do that. Under the pressure that I was under as well to. To. Answer these questions. And let these people know that. They're not the person they, they think I haven't murdered anyone in cold blood. I haven't. Cut any limbs off or ears off or noses or fingers off. And I haven't certainly mistreated anyone in any way. Not. On purpose. I mean, they said that my acts of mistreatment was. Not giving. Some of the prisoner of war on the, on once the real had been called. On the way back to. To our forward operating base. I never give any of the PAW is any water. Because we had. Three quarters of a bottle. Left. It was red up. We've just been out in this huge battlefield for three and a half hours. So. I was going to drink that water. And some of my lads. You know, apparently that was the wrong thing to do. Because I was in humane by not giving them water. Plastic us. When we arrested them. It was said that. We put the plastic us on too tight. You know, they should be. Whatever degree angle. And it's, you know, and that they were just like some of the questions that were highlighted, which they put at me being in humane. And there was a few bruises on someone's face or. And, you know. Yeah, there was. Because when you're conducting trench warfare, which hasn't happened for. God knows how many years. You've just launched a full. Frontal, you know, counter attack on this dug in position. That I've tried to kill you. They've gone, they've initiated it. They're all set up on an ambush. And we've counted it with a lot less. Manpower on the ground and what they've got a lot less. Well, I wouldn't say firepower because we had our armored vehicle support. But. You know, there's going to be aggression. There's going to be, you know, that hard fast tempo. And it was, you know, we had to go in and arrest and restrain. These people have tried to kill us. So we've had to let these people know these militia fighters know who's in charge. You know, and if there's a couple of punches thrown, then that's what happens in them. They were still alive. You know, there was still nothing wrong with them. They were just made sure that they we were in business. And it was us that had control of this whole situation. What did they expect? I tell you what, they didn't expect us to get out of that vehicle and launch a counter attack on them. They never expected that for one minute. And when we started to get across that open ground. And we started to have a real good rhythm about ourselves. They started to, half of them started to extract and withdraw because we had the upper hand and we had that aggression. And we had that, you know, I don't even know if it's full hardy, because when I look back at it now, for sure, there was someone looking down on us. Because we were just, yeah, it was just so close. And none of us got hit, you know, and that's a huge defensive position that we were going in against. And we were just very fortunate to be alive. And that's another thing as well. You know, I've tried to explain that in the courtroom that on the way back to where the vehicles were, we had obviously medics attached to as a female and a male medic. These male and female medic were working on some of these militia fighters who had gunshot wound injuries. One was doing CPR and one was putting them in a position, in a W position to make sure, you know, there was, you know, trying to sustain his life and keep him alive for as long as he could before we got them back. So I was just like that because that's what we do. Yes, we warfight. But when it's done, you know, if there's casualties, we have to treat the casualties because it's what we do as British soldiers. But none of that was like even mentioned in that room. They're like, yeah, whatever, we'll skip over that. Why are we skipping over it? You know, you were on about me, you know, talking about use of bayonets or, you know, why was one of the militia fighters engaged 10 times in his midriff, you know. And I'm like, well, they're just the questions that I can't answer. You use as much lethal force as you think is a right lethal force to, you know, keep you alive. And these are militia fighters just trying to kill you. So I don't read in any pamphlet say one or two rounds. And then that's it. That's what you can fire. You do what you do to eliminate that threat. If that's five or six or seven or eight rounds, then that's what it takes to eliminate that threat. It was just, I don't know. It was just chaos in that courtroom. And yeah, it was just tough being in there, answering these questions, thinking, I've just given every single thing that I've got for this organization being a British army from my country, you know, the Iraq war was unpopular. I know that, but we don't choose to go to these, you know, foreign fields. There's a decision made and we have to go there. And when we're in someone else's back garden, people don't like it. They then become the aggressors and we have to react to it. We don't go out there and become the aggressors. We go out there to try and figure out what it is we need to achieve, build up reports with either village elders or local militia and try and figure it out. Try and calm things down and what can we do to rebuild, restructure and put some hearts and minds in the process. But it doesn't work like that. And Iraq was, you know, 2004 especially was, was so tough, such a tough tour. And for have, like I said, to then come back and then in 2013 be, you know, stripped of everything and within that room it was just a betrayal. Yeah, on a level that I think us mere mortals could never understand, Brian, you know, I get kind of, you know, I get it a little bit just because of my own experience of being in the military and how quickly you can just be a number in the military. Can't you, you know, you, you, you're there as a squatty putting your life into it and, and literally, I mean, I can say hand on heart, I put my life on the line for my section. And of course, yeah, describing what, what, what, what you've been through. But it's what, but Chris, it's what we do, isn't it? I mean, when it's such a tight belonging, the military, it's such an incredible organization that teaches you so much. And if you want to excel within that organization, the world is your oyster. There's, there is no, you know, there's no one going to tell you you can't do that. You can go and do as much or as little as you want. There is so much out there. And when you start to, you know, do your build up training and do all your posts or pre deployment training, you just grow so close to one another. And because it's what we do, we just need to know what makes us tick, what, what make, what doesn't make us tick, what maintains our morale, how the family is back at home. You get educated in this at such a young age that I don't think any other organization, organization does better than the military. However, that being said, when it's done, it's done. When your time is done, you know, you said it, a number, we've all got a regimental number. And that's kind of what you stand for. So, and that's why I think it's so, or it is hard for a lot of people when they transition from having a clear direction daily from, from daily detail, from being in this institution for being told what to do for a long period of your life to all of a sudden when you come out into the real world, like, where do I start? Because there's a, there's an element of loss of identity. There's, there's a gap that needs to be bridged. But you can achieve it. It's, it's, it's different, you know, you need to get your head around that. It's going to be different. You can't rest on your laurels. It's a whole new chapter. You know, when I, when I decided to go, I took a risk. You know, I was a senior color sergeant, just been selected for promotion to company sergeant major. And I could have probably gone to the pinnacle, but enough was enough for me. Once the inquiry hearing came out and I was like, I'm done. It was a huge risk. But I wanted to break away from that organization. I wanted to start fresh. And, you know, I wasn't, I wasn't scared. There's a little bit of anxiety a little bit. And I was, you know, worried a little bit because I've got family mortgage to pay. But I just used that as a real bit of fuel for me to achieve. And so many people said to me, what are you mad? What are you doing? You've got your pension and you just picked up company sergeant major. I mean, you're mad. What, why would you even do that? It's like, because I need to, and I want to. And it's going to be better for my family that I do. And to be honest, it really has. And there has been a lot of hard work, but it just goes to show that. And I've got zero education for none, really. I went to school with, you know, I wasn't the best in school. Didn't have a lot of grades. Seen the military as a great opportunity when in there worked hard within that organization, done a lot of cool courses. Went on a number of different operational tours, gained so much experience. And then when I broke away, I just tried to use as much as I'd learned to what I'm doing to current. Yeah. Was it, was that just to put in the time perspective, were you still serving while you fought these allegations? I went operational. Join these allegations again. Yeah. As a leader. Yeah. As a platoon sergeant. I went done my second tour of Iraq. Yeah. It was crazy. And for me, it's like taking it. Sorry, Afghan. I did not Iraq. Or did I do Afghan and Iraq? I did. I don't reckon Afghan on the relegation. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy, isn't it? You know, and the thing is, I look when I look back at it now, and the soldiers who were in my platoon in my company, they could have really said, I'm not going to be working on the woody. I mean, these allegations were all over the place. You know, his leadership ability could be in question. His allegations are barbaric. Murderer is the most serious of allegations. So I don't know if he's going to be stable. These are the questions that they would be entitled to ask. Absolutely. But the minute you're like, it's not, it's a thing of beauty. Come on. Soon, Sergeant, you're all over it. You're an inspiration to men. Or if I then look back at it in a different way, maybe I could have questioned the chain of command. And I never did. It's insane. I won't even do a podcast if I've got up and I'm having a bad day, because I can't give it. I just physically cannot give it the attention it needs, right? Yeah. It's just a freaking podcast and nobody really, no one cares if I fuck it up anyway, right? What you were asked to do under that extreme stress is just, things must have changed now. I can't see. Yeah, they would have now, definitely. Surely. I would like to think so. If you were in a civilian job, you would have been bonded off on some sort of sickness package. Yeah. Or, you know, you would have, you would have been put away until the hearing had been done. You know, to whatever was going to, whatever was going to happen with the inquiry. If you were a civilian, you would have been put on guard and leave and wait to the outcome. If you were in the military, I was punching out on operations again. Twice. So, while these allegations were hanging over your head, did that jeopardize your MC? Only in my own head, I think. Because I'm very self-critical also, and I don't go off about the military cross, because it's in the past. And I'm proud, absolutely. 100%. It was probably other than my kids being born and my marriage. It was, it's definitely up there as my greatest achievement for sure. You know, the whole day was remarkable going into Buckingham Palace Gates and, you know, lining up with other remarkable people who have been honored for, you know, whether it's their time and effort within the charity sector, whether it's their sport and accolades, and a lot of some military great, you know, sort of recognition of hard work. And I was in amongst that. And then to go down that, you know, red carpet, you know, stopping, turning to my left, bowing and then going up to that first step was a, you know, no one can take that away from me. It was phenomenal. But then obviously later on. Can we just clarify for our American friends so you're meeting the Queen? Yeah. So she, yeah, she basically pinned the military cross on my chest. And we have, we had a little bit of dialogue and you can see I've got, I think a little video on my Instagram. And we have decent amount of seconds on dialogue. You know, she said to me, it's not very often. Because 2004 honors and awards were far and few between. And she said, you know, it's not very often I, you know, I get to pin these sort of medals on, on people's chests and thank you for what you, you know, what you did. And when you wear it, you wear it with pride. And it's just like, it was just a very surreal day because I've said it before. I'm just a normal guy, you know, and now all of a sudden I'm in the palette of my mom and dad and my wife. It's like, what's going on? So it was just, it was class, brilliant. And then, you know, the allegations had come up and it was all over the news as well because it was a public enquiring because it was such, I've spoken about battle for a number of reasons. It just had the press were fixated with it. And it went into panorama release something. And it was called on whose orders, which made British soldiers out to be barbaric murders. It was unfair, really unfair, but we had to deal with the repercussion from that. And then the newspapers were printing. I just didn't do any, any sorts of favours. And it was the first time that I started to get messages from people that I knew and a few family asking if what they're reading is true. And it just, it was so heartbreaking. And then they're mobilising it. It's just like, you know, just to, just to form my actions all the time. And actually my military class is just, it's not even out on display anywhere. It's in a real subtle location that you can even imagine that it's, that it's not just because, is there a shadow over it? But maybe I think Winston Churchill once said that middle glitters, but it also casts a shadow. And for me it's case in point, really. So I wear it on remembrance for reflection, you know, it's, it's a representation of me and the other fellow soldiers who were there that day, sure. And just to clarify, Brian, so you were awarded the military cross for your actions on this day. Is this leading the first bayonet charging? Was it 25 years? Yeah, I mean, that's what they, that's what they say. I don't know whether that's true because bayonets being fixed is just a normal procedure. Like they said that they, they went on about this in, in the inquest. And I was like, it's just a standard procedure. When you're conducting CQB, which is close quarter battle, you fix a bayonet. It's just a drill. You know, I never had a bayonet fixed on my weapon system because it wouldn't allow it. I had an underslung grenade launcher. You can't fix a bayonet on that. But the other lads, whoever could, would have had a bayonet fixed because it's, it's drill. So, you know, I, I can't comment on has it done, been done since, I'm not too sure, but trench war fight hadn't happened since God knows when. I mean, this was world war type stuff getting up over the top and going across open ground like they would have been doing, you know, the greatest generation would have experienced. So I can definitely say that that hadn't been done and probably won't ever happen again. I know it's a big shout, but, you know, going and conducting a real conventional attack across open ground into a stronghold. It doesn't happen very often. And was it textbook as, as you're taught in training or did, did the rule book fly out the window? No, it was, it's very easy for me to sit here and say it was the perfect textbook attack. You know, we did the basics. Well, what we were trained as, as young private soldiers to then being a Lance Corporal because I was a Lance Corporal at the time. There was a lot of confusion when they surrendered. It was like, kind of, you know, what's going on now? We need to get a grip of the situation. Didn't expect, I thought we were going to go in and, you know, once we, you know, word of command is called pairs, pairs, pairs, which you all just go and roll up anything else, which is in that position and, and kill the remaining fighters. But when, when they surrender, it changes. And there was a little bit of confusion there because all of a sudden there's bodies and around this trench position that had been hit by all sorts, hit by, you know, 5.56 caliber from the SA80 that we were using from 7.62, which our vehicle was using to 30 millimeter, which you get hit with that, you know, there's going to be not a lot of left and this was all over the place. It was the first time I'd really seen that type of trauma. And, but I had to kind of suppress that and blank that out because I was dealing with this situation now that there's a lot of dead bodies and around. There's militia fighters who have also left this, this main holding position. And, and now there's a lot of vocal people who are shouting at us. We're trying to calm it down. We're trying to, you know, get a grip of this situation. And there was confusion. You're vulnerable in that moment to getting snot, to getting shot in the back. Huge. We're vulnerable with, with being in this situation where we'd only trained, you know, on exercises to do now all of a sudden we don't know what else is out there in the battlefield. There's hideous sites, you know, of militia fighters who had been killed like not just a gunshot wound. These were in extreme, you know, can't even explain how bad it was. And then you've got to try and arrest these militia fighters who are going berserk. There's weapons everywhere all over the front of the trench. There's ammunition. And I know I go back to my social media but I've posted a number of times on my Instagram of, you know, I think it was a second position with all the ammunition laid out, weapons systems, RPG, still RPG, warheads on their weapons that hadn't been fired off yet. And a number of other things. So that's all on there. And just yeah, so was it textbook? I don't think so. Did we achieve our mission and RA? Yeah. Yeah, you, I'm going to say you're down playing it somewhat. If it's not normal in any scenario in life to hear that those immortal words fix bayonets. And when you do, you kind of in the shit, right? Well, or you're attacking your way out of it. Yeah, I mean, it's very brave stuff. It is close and personal. It is, you know, it's extreme warfare. When you're hand to hand fighting, you know, you know that you're in a situation for sure. However, I still will always say, you know, it's just a stand and operating procedure to do that. And I'm not going to be none of the wise. I'm not, there's no point me glorifying something or massively big enough saying, yeah, you know, fixing cold steel and punching straight into it and smashing it into the malicious chest. And that did it happen? Probably, you know, but I wasn't concentrating on that because, you know, it's it's our job to close with and destroy the enemy. These are enemy fighters, you know, and I can only control what I can see and what I was doing and moving and and really under a lot of pressure to do what I'm doing. But yeah, it's it's a weapon system. It's a secondary weapon system that we use when we're conducting close, close flying. So yeah. Gosh, it's just beyond belief really. And I'll say that in all just utmost respect to you guys, you know, it's the same in the Falklands, isn't it, when they had to crawl up to the Argentinian trenches and it's it's there's that quantity in there as well, isn't it about being a service person? You know, I'm not I'm not even clever enough to sum it all up, but there's this sense of loyalty, the teamwork, the sheer bravery of what some people have prepared to do. And then it of course says that the living with it after and that's a whole another whole less whole of a battle. Yes, whole of a battle. And it's a battle that we're not really educated on how to fight and it's different. It's different pressures. It's a different enemy. It's a silent enemy. But, you know, you can manage it if you want to do something about it. And it's down to you as the individual to make that step and and creating a toolkit, you know, and going on a bit of a growth journey, you know, post dramatic growth is a big thing and to grow from adversity and and really wanting to help yourself to then potentially help others is is really what it's about. And that's what I've tried to do. And I'm no magician. You know, I have my own problems now and again. And I have to manage my own demons now and again. But I'm in a really good place of late. I've got, like I said, a great family around me, great network around me. Got brilliant business and you know, I've just got to manage when I need to manage. I mean, for me, the highlight in recent months was for sure going on set. You know, and watching my life story kind of come together into this motion picture. I don't even know if that's the right word. It's going to be a 90 minute BBC two drama, which is crazy. Are the BBC going to do it justice bearing in mind their sort of links to the establishment? Yeah, I mean, I I had made sure that any of the battle scenes I had full consultancy control over, which they knew was the right thing for authenticity for, you know, and it's definitely the right thing. I think they could have went harder on Phil China, but I like what they've done. If I'm honest with it, I really really do. And they've done it justice. I promise you, it's going to be epic. I mean, how they have, because don't forget as well, it's I never knew this until I went through it myself, but the BBC are just the broadcasters. They don't make the film. They show it. And if they wanted to change everything or wanted to change it, I would have agreed to even allow that to be shown. I wouldn't have signed it. So they, like I said, because I've had so many questions like the question you just said, garden the establishment, and it's because it's the BBC. But it's the producers which get hold of the story, then it's the writer that creates this incredible, you know, narrative that is then going to be put on set and then, you know, acted in the film. So when I when I agreed to go with expectation who the producers I would just love the two individuals who come to pitch to me, I just really love their drive, their energy, their passion for the story. They wanted me heavily involved, which was really important for me. And it was a great experience to then get Robert Jones, the writer who he's a BAFTA Robin in writer, you know, he came in and wrote this incredible script. I mean, it's so it's so different to the book, but clearly the content within the book is in the script, but it's so different to the book, how they've done it. And it's it's pretty epic. So we're just around the end. The trailer is going to be shown soon. And we're looking at spring, but I haven't got a TX date, a transmission date yet. I'm still waiting for that to I'm still waiting to be told, but we're in pitch a lock now, which means that all of the, you know, changes and if there's any tweaks and stuff, it's all been done. It's locked. So we're going to get some music and stuff in to the film now. So we're just around the corner. Can't wait. It's going to be epic. God knows God knows what the fallout from that's going to be. I've got a clue myself if I want to. So this just see what happens. And how has the book gone? Because that was in the last couple of years you released your book. Yeah, it's actually my anniversary on the 21st. It super exceeded my expectations. It's it went on to the Sunday Times bestseller number three. And then we cracked up, but I couldn't shift Michelle Obama because she was number one. So I was never going to shift her from the top spot, but I can live with that. That's fine. And it's just continued to shift, you know, it's I'm really proud of the book and the feedback that I've had from it and what people have written about it on Amazon. It's just very humbling and I'm very proud of it. So I think the book may get a second wave from what's going to be showing on TV. I think the publishers are gearing up for that and actually they've sent me a cover for it that they're going to be releasing at the same time. So they're gearing up for another sort of wave. If it doesn't happen, it's fine. I mean I'm just so proud to even get to this point and it's just been crazy, crazy journey with so much emotion having to show a lot of resilience using the Keep Attack and Ethos on a daily basis and trying to maintain some sort of sanity and positivity at the same time and trying to be a dad because there were some situations where it was starting to affect my family and my son was going to school and all of a sudden this school yard gossip was my son's dad was a murderer and he'll be in the thick of that and then he'll come home upset and I'll be asking what's going on and he'll say that they're saying that you killed innocent people there. Because for me you can take chunks out of me all day long I'll try and bounce back and just try and stay positive but when it goes into the family that hurts, it cuts deep and when there's someone so innocent like my son to be up against this it's just like it was tough really tough. Brian this and I'm glad it's all working its way good for you I think you thoroughly deserve it mate I appreciate it thank you very much, really appreciate it it's great to finally get to meet you as well so thank you for that what I'll do is I'll put links for your website below this YouTube video and then well we can have this conversation off camera or off record but yeah we'll put all the links for your book and your parallel below and on behalf of the bought the T-shirt podcast keep attacking absolutely, thanks for having me on I'll never take anything for granted so I appreciate you having me on and hopefully it'll be some half decent content for your listeners and viewers so yeah thank you very much the pleasure is all ours, thank you mate no worries everybody at home, massive thank you again big love to you all, look after yourselves if you could like and subscribe and I should mention that now we've got our own a parallel I don't even know if that's the right word but if you look at the video a parallel is it called? a parallel, yeah I'm 51 years old do you think I would know that by now but there we go ciao ciao everybody no worries