 Whenever you're ready. Okay. In trouble, in trouble, in trouble, in trouble. Okay. Welcome back to another video. I think it's a miracle that's happening. I don't know how we are. Showers of blessing! It wants to come out with a video which we did last week to, I mean, another one. Which also makes me think that in 2022, whether she likes it or not, at this point, it's probably going to be Kwame and Elaine. We'll probably even change our YouTube banner and... Prove our picture. Ooh! Yeah, to Kwame and Elaine. And who would have thought that, I mean, a year ago, when the first time she showed up, I mean, on the channel, we would be where we are. And we also talked about that on the previous video. Which we ended up in German cosmopolitan, which is a pretty big deal for us. So, yeah, we're here to talk about something that's not very nice. Who are you? My name is... oh, God! Dale. My name is Kwame. I'm a filmmaker, documentary filmmaker and voice actor. And this is my wife. Yes, I'm Elaine and we live together in Accra and we try to share our experiences. But I'd like to go on and on and on and on and on. On. But let's dive into it. What are we doing today? So, today we're talking about a reaction to some of the comments we've received over the past year. Some of the not-so-nice comments. Because anytime we'll put the video out, I mean, 98% or 99% of the comments are good. How they want to see more of Elaine. Elaine, Elaine, Elaine, Elaine. Yeah, so it's not always, you know, rosy when you put yourself out there, you're vulnerable, you're sharing your life. And for us, I reeled her in because yeah, I wanted to share a bit of who I am besides Kwame the filmmaker and voice over artist. And initially she wasn't comfortable, but now she's here. And she's also made me understand that it's more than just bringing my wife in or showing the other side of my life. But it's also a way to tell people that our relationship which is me being from Ghana or Africa and she being European or mixed race relationships do work or can work. So we share our experiences with you guys. Every now and then and you guys, you know, you do love it, our perspectives. We sit down and talk. And Elaine is getting more and more into the videos because last week we were in the couch, which is my usual very comfortable place. This week she suggested that we should sit on a bench and change their position. So yes, this is us with the ZZ plant. Yes, our baby. Yes. So not so nice on the dark side of YouTubeing or putting yourself out there. I'm going to go through the comments and we're going to react to it. So the first one that I received, I think it came on the first video we recorded together is you betrayed your race and now you want to bring your coloniser concubine to Ghana. Go live in Denmark or something and leave Africa to true Africans. And even the video that I recorded, come on. It was in Ghana, you know, living in a previous house. And this person thinks I'm betraying the African race by getting married to a European. Yeah. Which makes me sad. Yeah, sorry, we had a technical difficulty. So it's fixed, it's fixed. Yeah. We were into this comment, please read it again. Yeah, so this particular comment which is you betrayed your race and now you want to bring your coloniser concubine. It's just sad. It just makes me sad because I mean... Deeper. I've said it before in my previous video that we don't choose the ones we love and I think there are people who... We all learn our histories or we've all read about, you know, what happened 400 years ago, how Africans were dealt with the bad side of, you know, civilization's growth. I don't even know how to even put it. And 400 years later, with all these advancements, with how the world is changing, I mean, you can be a fanatic but not be this... I mean, this derogatory in my opinion. And there's no guarantee anywhere that if I married a black woman, my relationship would be successful or I'd be happy or... Like, I'm not tied... Sorry. I'm not tied to a race. I'm not tied to a people. I'm a person and she's a person. And I like her and she likes me and I love her and she loves me and we understand each other, our relationship is working. That's it. Like, it's two people, not one African, one European. Yes, I know it can never be erased. That's one way to look at it and I think that is what's stressed here. Yeah. But I mean, we are aware of the history. We are aware of that even nowadays it still has its impact on how the world is. Yeah. So we are... I mean, yes, we're not oblivious to that. We're not ignorant to that. And I think this is merely a reaction to how it looks. So the person only sees a black person, a white person, an African person, a European person. But if you look at who we are as persons, then you would not say this. And for me, honestly, the whole argument of portraying your race... That's... Like, I cannot relate to that because race is a social construct. It's made up by men. You've also betrayed your race. Yes, but... That's what it means. I get it. Like, so we should stay in our race, in our... I mean, I want to talk to this person what it means. Like, race is such a big thing. Yeah. Why are we betraying it if we found somebody we want to spend time with, who we love, who we adore? And how does that betray all? In this case, it also means that everything that has happened in the world, to the world, around the world, in how global and village the world is now, with the clothes you're probably wearing, with the phone you probably used to type this, it shouldn't be happening. I mean, you shouldn't even have been able to see me recording and putting it out there on this internet and whatever it is. Like, technology, advancements, people becoming, you know... Yeah. Like, racism and the concepts of race is something that's not going to go anywhere anytime soon. But come on. In 2020 or 2021, or whichever year you posted this comment, please. Yeah, and I mean, I can understand that I can... I see the sentiment where it's coming from, but you're also not a person who sees me being white as a status thing or that you look down on Black women or Ghanaian women. No. So that's also not the case. Yeah. We chose each other because we ran into each other, we got along, we're like, let's do this. Yeah. And that's what the second comment is, like, literally almost like this one, but in a different perspective. Because it says, there's a Black guy with low self-esteem who thinks it's a prize to get a white girl. Yeah, I think the only person who has low self-esteem is rather you, honestly. Yeah, I think it says more about that person than about you. Yeah, you're the one with a low self-esteem because, I mean, yes, I do understand from where you're coming from, that there are some, you know, there's an argument and there are some Black men who go out of their way to be, I'm looking for the word, to be mean or to be insulting or to look down upon Black women and when they get with, you know, Europeans or white women, they think, yes, they are now, you know, of a different status or a different level, which I find rather very stupid because whoever you are, I mean, wherever you come from will not change by virtue of the fact that you end up with somebody of a different race, which also means that you still see yourself by what he's saying as a lower version of a person. So to be able to mark up and be with a European or somebody Caucasian or white then you've made it. And it's also weird to look at partners as a prize. It feels very capitalistic. It feels like you're putting people in boxes. This is not the kind of person who's sitting here. So I'm sorry. I'm not the kind of guy who has low self-esteem. No, you're not. And ending up with Elaine being a prize to me. No. I'm sorry. And also in our relationship, I feel that, of course, we acknowledge the past and how people tend to look at the differences between us. But as a partner, I feel you're my equal. And that's what matters. There's no, oh, I'm from the West. So whatever I say, no. It doesn't work like that in this relationship in the first place. So yeah, I'm not the kind of guy who is actually, you know, but I'm explaining too much. And even if you have low self-esteem, that's okay. It's something you can work on, but it's not the case here. And it's not the reason to look for a Caucasian. No. If you have low self-esteem, look for your partner who can support you in that journey. I wish you all the best. Yeah. And this one, I don't think is... Oh yeah, okay. Bad, bad comments. It's just, I think this person was a little ignorant about something. So this person was asking if Elaine is bisexual because he saw her Instagram. And her Instagram accounts... Can I react? Yeah, okay. So it's about me, so let me react. So my first response was, one, if I'm bisexual, what is it to you? Why do you want to know? If I would answer this yes or no, what would that say about me? That's one thing that this person should check herself. What do you mean with that question? And how does the answer, her or himself, what does the answer mean to you? For me, if I'm bisexual, it doesn't really make any difference if I would say yes or no. Secondly, I think he or she refers to my Instagram where I put my pronouns. My pronouns are she and her because I am born as a female, but I also feel I'm a woman. So it's a... It's a pronouns thing because there's a lot... I explain the pronouns thing because this is inclusivity. Yes, it's about... There are people who identify as... So there are people who identify as he, him, she, her or... Or non-binary. Non-binary is they, them. And... not everybody fits into the gender box of he, she or wants to be. And I feel gender is something that we should discuss more often because not everybody feels at home in those two boxes. And how do you do that? When you bring the conversation home is by expressing yourself, for example by social media. So you put your pronouns in your profile to make people more... How you want to be addressed. To make people more aware. What you see is not always how a person would want to be addressed. And it opens a conversation about... No, it opens... It creates a more inclusive environment because you don't assume. You ask, you are curious. You share it together. And I am trying to also open up that conversation by putting my pronouns in my Instagram profile. So although the question is still peculiar because I don't know what it means or why the person would ask it or... It's not about being bisexual if you put your pronouns... Out there. Is this more being an inclusive minded person? I hope I explained it well but I don't drop more information in the comments. I want to add to this pronouns discussion because I'm also here to learn and I'm trying but I don't know everything so... Yeah and this particular commenter is two of them separate but he seems to notice something about our relationship and how present Elaine is in speaking her mind how it's more a mutual understanding mutual respect, mutual decision making kind of relationship. And he says that men are more rational and women are more emotional. That's why men should lead and women should follow. If they trust your leadership that's how relationships work. So he's telling us how relationships work. Same person says... Honestly speaking I think a man should be the rock of the household and he cannot always be soft. Just have balance. Talk to your boys about how you feel instead of your wife. Okay. So this person thinks that... A lot of assumptions there. This person thinks that we shouldn't even be doing this or engaging in conversations about what we feel, what we think and how we actually make decisions together. He thinks that I should come and sit here and tell people that everything is fine. I've spoken to my boys. My wife is okay. Nothing else matters because I have decided I'm the man. That's what this person thinks. And I mean everybody can choose their own way of living so there's no right or wrong. But for us it doesn't really work like that and it also relates to what we were discussing about the pronouns before and the gender roles that are attached to that men supposed to be the rock of the household only rational, not emotional. In my humble opinion I feel that we all have a masculine and a feminine side. We all have masculine energy, feminine energy. I don't think it's necessarily attached to a gender role and men need emotional support just as much as women. So men are also emotional and men also feel a lot. It's just that in society it's not as encouraged to express it. So I agree with him that you should talk to your boys about what you feel but it doesn't mean you can also... I can talk to my boys about what I feel but I'm not going to sideline my wife and talk to my boys and come and decide for my wife. No, that's just not how we relate. And I think it can also be very limiting because it's important for me to be heard and the fact that you do that that makes it also work. It's an equal partnership. But I mean, if people like to design their relationship like this they can, but then maybe it's not for us like that. And you are a rock but we are both rocks. I'm not a rock, okay? No, and I mean I think this image of man should only be strong. I'm not strong, please. I like soft life. Thank you. But also it's not fluent like that. I like soft life, okay? I'm not a rock. I'm an equal partner as far as I know. This one is not necessarily negative in my opinion but it's an annoying one regardless. People who often would... I don't know if he's jokingly asked if I can hook them up with a white person or a white partner. How did I get a white girl? And Charlie, they also want a white girl. I mean I think this goes back to the prize person who because people still think that having a Caucasian or European wife or partner is a status symbol. So this person is like, wow, she's so non-racist. Very good for you brother. I want a white woman too but they are so racist or they are racist towards me. This is a bit difficult to judge only the comments. I don't know what kind of how you start your friendships with these women and how you go about it but I think this is more about personality clash and maybe motives for wanting the relationship too. It's also about the intention of growing in like I want to be with a white woman. I feel that's quite extreme and you go for who the person is as a person, not necessarily... Where they are from in the skin color and what it means to you or what you get out of it. So I don't know if it's a personal kink or status thing for you. I have no idea how to help you out with this one. And also it's observation that I'm non-racist. I think of course I try to be anti-racism and also in our relationship but it's not like I'm finished with that. It's everyday you're working towards decolonizing your mind and being anti-racist when you move through society and when you move through life. Just being an all-round nice person it doesn't have to be... That's the whole thing about the race conversation and everything just be kind to people, just see people for what they are and who they are and be kind. But I think this comment also suggests that I am done. Wow, you are never done because the world is still unequal. There's a lot of inequality unequal and we are never done. So even though I am in a relationship with a black man, a man from Ghana doesn't mean it kind of exempts me from doing anti-racism work. So that also didn't sit well with me. Okay. The comments are just like this is a heavy video for me because it's just draining to read some of these things. This one says who cares about Netherlands culture? We need them to return what they stole from Africa and pay repatriation for huge damage they caused in Africa. So we post our culture shock and somebody thinks don't put this thing here we don't care. Tell them to bring the money back. No, I mean I acknowledge. I hear, I hear. I'll tell her. So you guys should bring the money back. I mean we... No, seriously. We acknowledge the history. Once again, we acknowledge the history. We are not putting Netherlands culture out there like this is what you should adhere to but it is where I'm coming from so that's why we are sharing it. It's our own experience. Repatriation is a difficult topic. I don't think we should go into that now. We can't go into that. No, we cannot. But if you look into that specific topic it's very complex because yes, we stole a lot. I agree with you. But there were... Yeah, no, I'm not going into that. Exactly. You cannot... Just stop it. You can't. We are aware. You can't. We are aware. We are trusting any culture upon you and we are aware that things have gone really wrong in the past and repatriation is an interesting discussion so we should definitely have that discussion. It's okay. It's not up to us. It's okay. It's not up to us. Okay? I told her to bring the money. She doesn't have the money. It's okay. It's not up to us. And this one is an interesting... the most interesting out of the bunch for me because I'm going to mention the name. No, no, no, no. Okay, fine. Anonymous. And this is the only lady... that's if it's an actual lady. Accounts. Out of all the ones I've read, they're all men. This is the only one with the female name and this person's observation comes from one of our videos saying that he looks like he beats her. See how scared she got when she was laughing and he was asking what's funny? Yeah. I can... So when we joke, you know when we joke and you think the joke is funny or like... and I react like... I know it's funny, but I react like, yeah, it was funny. And then you post like, you're not sure that like, you know... and we laugh about it again. I don't know what this person... No, but... saw. I don't know either. But I can confidently say that should beat me. I can confidently say that should beat me. I can't. I can't do that. No. And I think what she sees is I try to take into account his feelings. So I respect him and I want to take into account his feelings. So whenever I make a joke, I'm checking in whether it's fine. Yeah, but then if you make a joke about something and you're teasing me and I don't like it and I say, what's funny and you pause. Like how does that even read into like abuse? Like because... Well, I don't know that. I mean, I've never been in, thank God, an abusive relationship but maybe the person recognized something. But let's just debunk this one. He doesn't beat me. We are good. It's not even to be debunked. There's nothing to be debunked. It's not a rumor. It's nothing. There's nothing to be debunked. There's nothing there. It's not he doesn't beat me. It doesn't exist. So please, whatever you are reading, you're reading too much into the video and the reactions. Watch and enjoy. Okay? Okay? Yeah. Okay, next one. And this one is also another, you know, fanatic who says if we have kids, the kids are going to be bipolar or worse. Yeah, this one I find a bit disrespectful. Yeah. Because... Not only to us but also to people who have bipolar, sorry. Because that's not how this works. That you marry or you have a partner from a different continent or culture. And because you're going to be mixed race, it automatically means that your kids are going to suffer mental health disorders as... No. So... And honestly, bipolar, it's also not a death sentence like your mental health. You should take care of that and you can have a precious life with others. You don't even have to explain what's going on. I find it insulting that he's putting it like bipolar is... Yeah, bipolarism is not a mixed race sickness. No. That is how stupid and ignorant that sounds. Yeah. Bipolarism is a mental health issue which, I mean, hasn't been addressed or has still been addressed because the world is now becoming more aware of mental health issues. So if you know anybody who has gone through bipolarism, it's not because... No, let's just stop. So the questions should advocate themselves on bipolar and what it means. And secondly, mixed race relationships, it doesn't mean you'll get a mental health disease from coming from different ways or intercultural parents. So, advocate yourself. I think you can do it. Next comment. That's it. Oh, that's all of them? Yeah. Because that person continued with some Bible verses and stuff that I don't want to go into. Okay. Yeah. That Bible verses that we are doing something out of the Bible? Saying, neither shall thou make marriages with them, thy daughter. Yeah. Look, you know what? Yeah. You and your religious fanatism and extremism can find a different book outside your interpretation of what the Bible is and read and educate yourself. And I mean, being religious or believing in something, that's very personal. It's interesting that you apply it to us, but we have our own reasoning to that. I believe that love is love and our love is also love no matter the differences. And I think the Bible verses a bit out of context. That's my whole opinion. This whole video, I wanted to do it just to get it off my chest, but it's still super heavy for me. So, before you post a comment about a mixed-race couple and what they are going through, just pick up a book or just go on the internet that you are using to post the comments and read something before you talk. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But what makes it so heavy for you that it's so... The level of ignorance is a bit startling. Yeah. But that's also, I mean, that's also one side of doing what we're doing and putting ourselves out there. We are speaking up because we want to show that we exist. We are our... We are our authentic self. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So that people, maybe they've never spoken to an interracial couple or an intercultural couple. So then we are the first avenue, which makes it difficult because we got these replies. Yeah. Okay. I guess. So it's like the other side of the coin. I mean, I love that when people say that our videos are helpful or they got a thing or two from it. That's really great. But this is the other side of it that you are in the spotlight and it's easy to... Yeah. People react to it. And I think for me, what makes it a bit more bearable is that it's like when you're... I'm not saying our YouTube videos are art, but when you create something, once you put it out there, it's not ours anymore. That's a critique. No, but then it's from the public. It's just like how beauty is in the eye of the beholder. People look at it and they put their own stickers on it from their own interpretation, their own background. So it's not ours anymore, not truly. Okay. Once it's in the public space, it's in the hands of the viewer. And that's why you get all these super extreme comments from here to there. People touch on all kinds of things because that's what they see. How you were supposedly beating me. Where does that come from? If you know us, you would never say that. But this person that triggered something for her. So she expressed that. So it's not necessarily ours anymore. Once it's out there, once our art is out there, it's in the eye of the viewer. Anyway. So yeah. Sorry. That's it for this particular video. I don't know if we're going to do another video before the year ends, but this is... Give us some positive comments and then we'll do a video about that. The ones that touched us the most. I challenge you if you're a silent watcher, which I know there are quite a few. If you feel like sharing what you get from our videos, it really helps us also to know what we put out there next and to... It also motivates us to keep doing this. Yes, there are a lot of these people around who shoot ignorant comments, but we also see a lot of positive comments and when people come up to us and say that they appreciate us, it's really there. And we love it. So we're good. Sometimes things are difficult. It's okay. We can do hard things. It's okay. You want to wrap up? Yes. Thank you so much for watching. Please like, subscribe or follow. And comment below what you take away from our videos. And we'll catch you soon. I'm going to hug Kwame a bit more because now he's sad. We'll see you soon. Bye! Bye, dear people!