 i have a present for a human this being said human i'm a human nice to meet you you have instagram i have instagram should i put it on screen put it on screen follow away but if you're if you're a troll please don't follow yeah be nice be nice i'm not interested in that we have a gift oh we have a gift oh thank you ignore the dodgily tight ribbon the ribbon don't worry about the ribbon mate now's when i need it to use properly tripod but i can't be bothered oh god i'm gonna drop this watch which one i should be that hard to open oh my little business card before i changed my username you're gonna say i'm your friend don't you need a business card always put the business card in you need to do that thank you so thank you so so much this is why i'm her friend it's perks yeah should we film unpacking the the food because i've got no content for the day how you know lydia's run out of videos she films unboxing we all try to make interest so i do not have a caffeine problem at all not at all i have to squash squash squash three minutes of recording time three minutes okay three minutes of recording time let's do it pizzas two pizzas for the fridge a pound hey guys good morning it's monday and i'm going to do today this is a weekly vlog i'm gonna try weekly vlogging i'm just gonna make and get ready to go to uni i'm using the urban decay gave my friends palette love it live for it it's everything highly recommend it yeah i was wondering what time everything was going on today um so i think we're gonna come and see you is that like that evening time yeah yes yeah i've got uni and like you know okay yeah we thought yes what time are you um i finish it too what do you take i'm in brunford today so it takes me okay a little bit longer to go kind of be between five we can't is that okay yeah it's fine yeah i'm here right like i'm here in the right room on my timetable this is here but you kept me unique emails i'm apparently electric got cancelled so what do i do if you go to university and you have mental health issues like myself let them know let them be involved because i haven't been in for the last five ish weeks because of my mental health obviously i was impatient for two of them weeks but they've been so supportive and you know they've kept me up to date they've kept the email me to get the communication having lines of communication open with the university is so important especially when you're like this and you just when you have anxiety like i had so much anxiety i thought i was going to run it in my legs i was like five minutes late it's called becker hello are you okay are you joking i'm starting a classroom on my own with a camera recording i should try it my camera's recording by the way so i feel hello i feel free to say hello to my vlog say hello to the vlog oh hi vlog maybe so today meeting at the train station yeah so yeah okay that'll give me something to do just tell me yeah just tell me when you're getting on the train let's go vlog we've got something to do well this is awkward and public and fun not really i'm going to see becker because my lecture got cancelled in case you didn't get that from the last clip my lecture got cancelled so i'm now going to see becker because she lives pretty close to iqt and me so way to get went for train station pasta and it's not focusing it's just having a mug again very pasta having a drink honestly today i went to platform on three quarters at king's cross and oh and um i um got there and it was so busy i took you to get in i don't know if anyone else has been there but you had to queue to get it and then when you got in you um there was literally so many there was like not enough space for people to for people to walk properly people just get bashing into you like pushing you out the way we will go one day i don't know if it's connected to yours let's go come drive just a moment last one we need to go around hello do you imagine if we had a go pro what is a go pro okay you had a you didn't have a good night last night is that you had a nose bleed and try to take people right to them just completely like you're just tired when's the last time you did have a decent sleep whatever well now hello you're right yeah have you finished with them yeah what do they say they mean i talked to someone while getting my meds changed oh okay you're okay you look like you're gonna fall asleep i feel like i'm gonna fall asleep are you tired yeah i have my sleeping tablets as well already so these things absolutely terrify me i'm always thinking like oh god what if it goes off while i'm walking across it don't let me dry i had my crying session it's fine we're all good we're good now we've got it out though but we're trying to get the cat satsuma to come out i'm not liked by cat and yes i'm allergic like you picked up by you i made a discovery it won't fit in my phone no push your phone's ridiculous and doesn't help me because my phone is ridiculous and up to date both i got a burger happy cat sorry and i literally just thought of you i was like that's so nice though that looks like it's a little nice thing to cheer you up i didn't usually smile like genuinely smile for the first time i'm happy that you like it in like a couple of days actually when i saw that you have been in every day of the vlog so far you can't get rid of me do you know how much of an idiot i am becker's got a torch and i didn't notice that way around and i clicked it when in my eyes so you said what's this i like picked it in her face i'm like no it's a new vlog it's uh 12.42 this morning i've just been doing crosswear i've been writing a script oh it's all blurry morning guys it's like three in the afternoon i'm going to the pharmacy oh i look as bad as i feel that's great my phone went out of storage i did not know the bus came off the uh oh my god i've been a bit uh um i literally went to the pharmacy and to the shop to get something started back on to besokra long which is a beat the blocker if i'm ending the period concerned about my heart rate so i have to do something and the beat the blocker that i've responded the best to not the best to but well the only one that doesn't send me psychotic um i'm on besperidol like i can really tell you this made me way more paranoid but my gp listened to me and has put my clan as a palm up to one milligram at night rather than 0.5 which bit of an increase not really the direction i wanted to go in but necessary i'm running out of bed now because i'm very tired i've been tidy in my room literally all the evening i'm very tired so yeah sorry i didn't feel much but there's gonna be loads tomorrow promise good morning everybody it is three a.m i'm away i fell asleep quite a last night and i slept a lot of yesterday so it's no surprise i'm gonna spend the next few hours in bed chilling watching netflix having some me time and then later on we're going out oh what's going on you're that i haven't vlogged much today because i'm not really doing anything all i'm doing today is wait for the whole treatment to you originally i was gonna go out but then i would check twitter and apparently it's all kicking off in west minster and that's kind of where i have to go to go to shop i don't really feel like going to kingston today so i'm not going out i'm just gonna stay in and wait wait there's my attitude um i've got the home treatment here today the best spirit or what what's going on here like welcome to you my little cozy corner in my room i hope you are doing okay this is like a vlog you know this is a great vlog the weirdest thing just happened i filmed a really quick clip on my laptop which i'll play for you now i've had years and less than two minutes so i think please i literally just knocked on my door and then and got someone in north yorkshire wait a minute in north yorkshire called saying i posted a video of me self-harming which i haven't so i was lying in bed because i'm fucking exhausted and i hear a knock at the door video are you in me yeah can we come in sure i was thinking it's the mental health team it's the mental health team are coming out tonight and two uniformed armed fucking police are there with the guy from downstairs who works at his apartment and he's just like and apparently someone said that i was actively self-harming and showing it on camera i knew me so much because i would never do that i've never shown on myself cutting i've never shown myself attempting suicide i just wouldn't there are some morals that being a mental health youtuber one of them is you don't want other people to kill themselves so you don't put it out back but i could sit and tell storytimes about my suicide attempts and they're also different i'm not going to because i don't want to give the means methods out and having the police turn up it sent me a lot of you guys know i had issues police and Lancashire really does send me spiraling it's such a huge trigger for me well you know the call we got is like i was from north yorkshire we tried to call them back but now the numbers disconnected and it's like i said north yorkshire food how many people do i know that live in north yorkshire but no off me but that's sad to spend that much time trying to bother me there's not very many people on what list in fact there's like two people on our list all i'm gonna say if you do have concerns about me please try and reach out to me first because i'm a very honest person i choose to put my life online which is my decision what i didn't sign up for is people thinking they can invade my life and do what they want like every side when i'm hearing right now it's just setting me off and literally makes me so angry i'm really angry with me i've had to have my phone out of the palm they're a f***ing call the police on people unless you need to like using the emergency number is only for emergency so don't f*** around with it because f***ing around with it is very illegal the world we live in is so f***ed up anyway that's enough red wine i might vlog tonight i might not if i don't i'll see you tomorrow this is the last clip of the vlog i wanted to say thank you for following me for the week i know the last few days i haven't been very interesting i need to take my meds i'm about to go to bed so um yeah i'm gonna end this video here thank you for joining me thank you for watching and if you are new here make sure you make sure you hit the subscribe button and be kind be nice leave some questions in the comments leave us a like leave us a little message anyway i'm in a weird mood i'm gonna go down peace guys