 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan as I have Jonathan as a comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic men listen closely When women do this Really quickly before we get started my t-shirt says the self-love club Who wants to join the self-love club if you say yes, please post a comment below Let me know you're part of the self-love club and we'll talk about that a little more in this video Okay, our topic men listen closely or do they listen closely? When women do this All right, so one of the things I've heard repeatedly over and over from women is their frustration when it comes to being in a relationship with a man when it comes centered around communication and The frustration that often happens when there's a lot of miscommunication in relationship a lot of discord a lot of Well, I've already said friction. So Misunderstandings that happen in relationship And this is very frequently happens because the reality is is most people view the world through their own lands They view the world through their own lands Okay, and what that means is it's our own perceptions of how we view the world So context makes a big difference when it comes to communication Context and what I mean to say is I'm trying to think of an example Some people might say that this is blue Some people might say this is teal. Some people might say that's aqua Right and I don't think anyone would say blue, but there's a there's an element of blue in here, but it's aqua Is it teal? I don't know. I'm terrible with colors, but my point is each person. Well, here's another example Here's a brother speaker. That's blue, right? But some people might say that's navy blue. Some people might say that's royal blue So even though we could say that's blue one person says no that's royal blue and another person says that's navy blue So can you see how context plays a big part in Communicating with one another so oftentimes it's really important to find out what the context of what someone is saying by gaining clarity But that's not necessarily how we men will listen closer to you And that's where I want to lean into this conversation a little bit more because oftentimes Communication is very confrontational. It's very combative. Okay This is one of the reasons why if you've been following my work, I highly recommend the book Nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg Please jot that down. That's a book worth getting this helps teach communication in a more effective way Because again, it's not just the context but also the delivery of communication that makes a big difference How we deliver it and oftentimes communication is very combative. It's coming out from a place of Demands or expectations instead of a real fluid communication Now I know some of you saying well Jonathan I want to know how a man is going to listen closer. How am I going to get him to listen to me closer? Is it closer? How am I going to really get him to pay attention? Really if that's what we're really getting at is how do I get him to pay attention to what I'm saying? so I'm going to share with you. I did a webinar for my group I have a group called midlife love mastery if you're not familiar with it There's a link in the description below called midlife love mastery It's a great group for those of you that can't afford private coaching You get access to me on a regular basis and I do a webinar and we have a Facebook group and I interact with them And it's only 20 bucks a month. So check out the link below But in the group one of our members was asking a question and she was just going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on Now please forgive this characterization because everybody listening and this is mostly women wrote me back and said she kept going on and on and on and on and on Because one of the things women do a little bit different than men and this is a generalization because this isn't all women is That they don't get to the point They don't get to the point and if you want to get to man to hear you if you want to get a man to listen to you Then my invitation for you is to start with the point In fact with this with this client that was on the phone this member who was on the phone She kept talking about the story the story the story and I kept asking her what's your question? And she kept going on it with the story sir. What's your question? She kept going on and on with the story Start with the point Start with what's the point of this communication? What's the question you want resolved? What matter of fact think of it from the perspective of what is it you want to get resolved and start from there? Start from there Because if you want to get a man to pay attention if you want to get a man to open up if you want to get a man to listen closely Then start with what you want to talk about and then tell the backstory I've been told it tell it takes women 10,000 words to say what men can say in 2,000 words now. I don't know I mean I heard that that's Anecdotal but it's out there And and by the way there are plenty of men that ramble on and on and on and on and on as well So this isn't singular to women and men But there just happens to be a greater propensity because on some level I believe a woman feels safer sharing the story Maybe this happens to do with caveman days where you had to share a story with something about some event Instead of getting straight to the point Because when you get to the straight to the point with a guy He's actually paying attention because then he knows where his starting point is But if you're sharing a story story, and you're all over the map like this He's trying to figure out. Well, what is she talking about? It's over here, and it's over here, and it's over here Start with the point then you can be all over here But he gets to stay on track because he's then Tracking you Because you started with the point and that's how you're gonna get a guy to listen closer to pay attention to you Get to the point right away start with your question Then you can share the story he'll most likely interrupt you because he's gonna want to cut to the chase anyway Which you want that to happen to you want to get to resolution much quicker So remember first I talked about context then I talked about tone or Confrontationality again in the book and Lastly get to the point. I think that will make a big difference in helping you achieve better Communication with a guy and to get his attention Now I mentioned to you about the self-love club if you're not part of the club Then I want you to post a comment say I want to be part of the self-love club That means you should check out my book what the heck is self-love anyway There's a link to the disc in the description below to get my self-love book And if you happen have already ordered my book and you write a review Please post a comment below because I'm gonna send you a little free gift to say thank you for being part of my community I'm truly grateful for that. All right, and if you have any questions, please post a comment below All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic job Then bear a hug of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks so much and wishing you a fabulous day. Bye. Bye now