 As always, it is a pleasure being with you each and every Tuesday. Thank you so much for keeping it Y254. Thank you for keeping it Y in the morning. My name is Ram Aguco. If at all you're just joining us, you're just done for the next conversation of the day and it's all about understanding mental health and how we to less to drug abuse. On this particular conversation, we're going to delve deeply into understanding what is it that as young people, as youths, we can do in order to maintain our mental health. In order to just have peace of mind because we have seen in the recent past, in fact the statistics are there that mental health is correlated with drugs and substance abuse. Very good morning to you. Remember we are coming to you live from the broadcasting house here in Nairobi, Kenya. We are also live on our website at www.kbc.co.ke and show that you engage with us. To help us understand this particular conversation, I'm joined by Faith Mutendwa. She is a very interesting personality. She is a life skill expert, a life skill mentor. She does a lot. She has an initiative. She will be telling us more about that. Faith Karbusana. Tell us a bit more about yourself. What exactly do you do? My name is Faith Mutendwa. I run an initiative that promotes mental health through creating societal mental awareness and we do mentorships in schools. What's the name of the initiative? Top Mutendwa. Top Mutendwa. That sounds like a show. I will come and show up with you. Welcome to Talk to Ram Aguko. But thanks for coming. Thank you. You will be telling us more about what you do, but from home and show that you engage with us, the hashtag is why in the morning at Ram Aguko and that Y244 channel. Head over to Facebook and on Twitter. We post questions there on our social media handles and show that you participate with us. If you already have questions in regards to this particular conversation, head over to Twitter and ask your questions. Are you a parent? Do you have concerns in regards to the mental health of your child? This conversation is for you. Faith, when did you start this initiative? Just a brief background of how it started and the impact it has had so far on the ground. Okay, mainly. I started because back in campus I used to go to children's home and I realized that most of the time when you go to children's home we give them material support, but they need... The clothes? Yeah, material support like food, but they need psychological support. So early this year in January, I was just thinking because I interact with them, I go there and visit and I see there are some cases that they need attention. Those kids need to be talked to. And then I said, why can't I? Because I have the skill. I'm a trainer. I train with the kiyop, the youth. What is kiyop? Kenya Employment Opportunity. So we train youth. It's a government initiative that trains youth and life skill is just a... Life skill is all about... you learn on how to deal with yourself and you learn on how to deal with others. Exactly. So you were interacting with kids while in campus? Yeah, I used to go to children's home most of the time. So I interact with them and I find there's something they're lacking. Despite taking food, taking support, there's something they're lacking. And in most children's home you find it is only one manager. Like the people that are looking after those kids, it's only one person. So they can't manage to talk to all of them. And you were doing this as you go to class? Yes. Simultaneously or how was it? Okay. Let's say it started back back in campus. These are programs that we do in USIU. Community service. Yes, community service. So community service I was attached to a children's home. So I stayed there and I really liked staying there. So I stayed even after finishing campus I said I'll be visiting regularly to check on those kids and at least to talk to them. Because sometimes you can give them advice. There are many things that are happening right now. So it's good to give them advice. You talk to them so that they can increase self-esteem. I know that I'm important. I can make it in life. Because when you are at a children's home sometimes some of them give up on life. Yes, they give up and then because of where they come from some come from the streets because of the history behind where they come from. They're background. So there's a lot they carry. So when you go there even we interact even to the small kids. Like we got the ECD kids when you go for mentorship we interact with the young kids we come up with stories for example resilience we just come up with a story we read it and at the end of the story the moral of the story is we should be resilient we should be courageous and you can see the life just brighten up the smiles their faces brighten up. We have very interactive like section and then just sometimes we interact with them we play around with them we tell them say that I'm beautiful to increase their self-esteem and know that I'm important and I can make it in life. And one of the reasons why we have mental issues is because of that particular aspect you've talked about self-esteem someone doesn't believe in themselves they don't see themselves as beautiful so when they found actually they find that one person can appreciate who they are and what they do it really gives them a big thing it means a lot to them when someone is actually appreciated on what they do and how they look even physically and as you interact with these kids how was it that you were able to distinctively pick out that there is a way that mental health can connect to drug abuse how was the interaction on the ground as you are trying to look at the connectivity between these two aspects? Because most of them when they finish campus they don't have a place to stay sometimes I host some I tell them come stay in my house as you look for a job so we talk a lot and they tell me the street life of which was all their parents died they tell me the whole story and they will have lots of stories at the start so they tell me that one thing that is affecting them mostly is drugs like most youth most children when they go to high school you just want to to get something that will make you comfortable and forget about the past so you find most of them they are engaged in drugs and it's not like they desire it it's because of situations because of situations and also as a life skill trainer as I train youth outside there sometimes we tackle that topic about drugs and you find youth know more than we know actually when I'm tackling the topic of drugs I just stand and listen to them talk they will teach you they teach you they know everything what are some of the most shocking and surprising stories you've had from a few of the youth that you've interacted with just to mention a few one one is because most of the time I ask them why is it that you like right now youth they like what is it called bank bank bank by the way do you know you reminded me there was a time I was at a particular area and I did not know the smell of bank so I'm with some friends and they were walking and laughing and I said I don't know how to describe it because I had no clue because I had no clue how how that sent I don't know how to describe it you know how to describe it but they told me that I don't know how to describe it and they were able to actually tell the smell so it's quite interesting how they know how these things are how they smell how they are distributed they actually know and then because you want to be associated with certain class you want to fill in in some certain group and nowadays it's lifestyle girls are taking it smoking the banki girls are taking it it's a normal thing and it's normalize banki because even when I'm dealing with youth outside there I don't know how to describe it any stories of banki they have a name for it by the way they have a name for it by the way I can't remember I can't remember one or it's a kishada kishada, there are some but mostly when I'm taking kusmok kusmok kusmok kunaile surenia umeske kunaile surenia umeske and then you're like wow I never knew about that is there a particular instance where you had such an experience that actually moved you that gave you actually a moment to think about life yes okay there was a girl that I was hosting in my house and she told me the brother in its school and you know those kids are children so they are sponsored and the brother got a B a KCC he was called I ended in waziti he was a mechanical engineer but he got a very good grade but because the influence of drugs was so bad he was not able to get a job at school he was not able to get a job how? and that's because of wow he was stable he was able to get a door and you see that's how many have actually lost their way because you end up making wrong decisions for yourself because of that momentary joy that you get but drug still it doesn't always end up well it distorts and disorients how has it been when you interact with kids and you see how damaged they can get as a result of drug abuse going through that whole process of recovery because it affects your mental health it disorients you it withdraws you from the society and then there is a way the way you used to interact it changes at the end of the day how is it through that process as you bring them back to normalcy okay one of the thing that youth you talk to them and youth if you become hush to them as a trainer if I become hush to them or I talk something that will make them look that bad they will scare away so when I am talking to them I am talking to them I come and entertain but at the end of the day I tell them the effects the drugs you can't be productive because it will affect your nervous system you will not be sober when you are doing your activities so they see the outside but when you come to a youth and you start condemning immediately you start you know you are going to be lost they won't listen to you but you have to entertain you reason with them and then you listen to them you listen to what they are saying and then you tell them the other side of the story you know one problem that I fear I feel is actually on the ground with some parents actually most people in the society is we are to judge we don't know someone's story we don't know why they got to where they are and we end up saying you will die we don't know we don't actually take time to listen to their problem to their problem because one of the reason why people take drugs is because they want attention they want attention maybe there is a kid the lifestyle of today parents are too busy for the kids they don't pay attention you don't know your kids friends you don't know who to interact with your kids interact with so because they want attention they might end up going to drugs yeah and it's a sad thing when they want you to notice them and you don't because they are too busy caught up in all issues until now when it comes it goes to a stage of addiction where the kid cannot stay without drugs that is when you start now you want to help a child when that child is in that stage and even as you talk about drug abuse and mental health there is a way it affects your body it affects even in the long run different parts of the body including the reproductive system in the long run you end up messing yourself up 10 years 20 years, 30 years down the line you are not the same person again and it affects your mental health to the point that you get into depression yes so as we have had there is a lot of suicidal cases in our country the reports were saying we have lost 500 people the reason behind if you go to depression because of time we will not go through the stages but you can go to you go to a stage where you are dependent you become dependent on a drug means you are not doing your activities you neglect your activity it is going to work, you don't go to work if it is going to school you don't go to school and as our parents you know the way they are they will start telling you you are doing bad they start comparing you with other kids you see this kid is prospering so you get depressed you don't know who to help you so you get depressed at the end of the day you get depressed the suicidal thought now starts coming if there is no one to look after you if there is no one to follow up your case you may end up committing suicide and I love what you are saying there because this month is suicide awareness month and I remember we were having this particular conversation on suicide cases the previous week and the guest that I was having on that particular day was telling me that we need to talk about it people don't always talk about suicide cases we shove it off to Miskia who you this guy committed suicide we just say oh Paul and then we don't talk about it but we need to have such kind of conversations because it makes them aware about where they are heading to when you go to the ground and you you know the youth and you hear how they they are doing what is the rate of acceptance on the ground because the acceptance rate also needs to be considered how do they receive this information to be mentally aware of their position how do they interact with such kind of information because you've given them a story these are the things you need to pick up from the things you need to stop doing how do they receive it for example in children's home they receive it well the problem that we have now if I go to a children home I'll do a mentorship and sometimes you will find there are some cases that means like a follow up like a follow up a counselor to do some follow up we work alongside with counselors we do the mentorship with counselors so when you go there we can identify like there are some kids who need like those follow up serious follow up but because this is an initiative it's me who is doing it I can't afford to hire a counselor to follow up on that child but we see some changes because when we talk to them we talk to them about relationships personal hygiene about many things I don't know the day you hear a caregiver calling you and telling you what did you tell my kids I can see some changes and when we are going to a children's home because this topic left skill is a wide topic so we go there and ask what is the problem they will say maybe self esteem what can we discuss so they know the problem so we address the problem and we see some changes very important to us and I love it when you are saying a parent can call you and ask you what did you tell my son what did you tell my daughter because they are changing it's a moving moment but as an initiative you said you are facing different challenges sponsorship getting people who can be able to come in on board but how do you select where to go to who to interact with and which places to dwell or to stay at a given period of time we are based in Machakos County so we do mainly within Machakos County so for one sub county we can decide to do one if it's Machakos the next month we go to Muala so in Machakos County we have 9 sub counties we choose one every month we have to go one in every sub county in every sub county so one children's home in every sub county every sub county per month per month and if it is one per month how is the follow up done because after that one month period you've gone to a different location you've left the previous mentees who are there we keep contacts we keep contacts especially to the caregivers in case of any problem because we have counsellors and sometimes they are willing even to go to some extent and tell them this kid has a problem and because I can't afford to pay a counsellor but there are people they can just say that I'm going to do it for free you have volunteers who come? yeah counsellors I have a team from from USIU of counsellors my friends they assist me in doing this then you have a very big support system for ground you have like a battalion we try if you look at the expenses that you incur how challenging is it to get sponsorship to get money because moving from one place to another of course it's very expensive even those counsellors you have to pay them something is committing as I've said you can't afford to pay but you have to give something small so at least for every like every month you know this is something that I do out of passion and you go out of your way like you can spend like roughly 15 to 20k monthly that's why we do it monthly because I'm not able to to do it weekly because it is expensive it is expensive so if someone wants to get a hold of you how can they do that on social media our facebook page Toktumutendwa you can reach us through our facebook page Toktumutendwa and also because we've said that you can talk to her you can talk to her you can talk to her on facebook Toktumutendwa then our youtube channel we usually have live talk conversations on mental health Toktumutendwa alright as we bring this conversation to a close I would like you to just give me a few tips here you said for you to talk to somebody you need to listen to them how do you go through that whole conversation just in a part of the mentorship that you have just one session that you have with somebody addicted to drugs or they are abusing drugs even though they are not yet addicted but you are having a session with them how do you start and proceed till the end maybe there is someone who is watching you today na nashanga uya na fanyanga ajie what is your tool of trade just one session the only thing that you can do is to handle the root cause because sometimes a person is addicted because of this and this and this so when you are conversing with that person they will tell you their side of story but you have to dig in to know the root cause so that you can come in and try to look for solution and how you can help to solve that problem if that problem is not solved even if you talk to that person you are doing nothing you have to know if it is a kid maybe they are addicted because at home they are facing some rape cases they are facing so you have to know the root cause what is it that is cause in you it is a matter of whether a child is going to get pregnant it is a root cause when I influence a child when I influence friends because sometimes the next minute I will commit suicide so it should be you saw a story of one teenager who committed suicide after getting the results of their examinations the next thing amajinyonga so matini was crazy so there is a way that we should handle them and take it step by step take it step by step you will see it atachapap take it step by step in your root cause how can I help maybe can I look for counsellor if she is not comfortable to talk to me can I look for other party how can I help because sometimes these kids cannot be free to talk to their parents so who can I it is always good to look for mentor someone who can freely talk to your kids so comea kuna shida una kolio mentor mambi I want to give you just 30 seconds time to go to sana there is a youth who is watching you what word do you have for them just within a very short period of time as our take home something that they should never forget your final remark as you bring this talk out to close what matters in life is a decision wanayut na ongeleisha what matters in life is not what happened in the past what matters in life is the decision that you make today so you can make a turn around making good decision and always before making any decision look at the outcome look at the consequences of anything that you are doing and just you have to encourage yourself you have to stay motivated thank you so much faith keep doing what you are doing I wish you the best wukianda initiative ingine unite mipia ni kuji apu iwi ni kwa na kiyatu moja ne zatoa atakama ni kuru di nyumbani na mugu ingine well thank you so much keep what you are doing I appreciate you and thank you for finding time I wish you the best that has been faith mutendwa there is something before I conclude kwa ingoyake kuna ka logo it is really talk to talk to mutendwa bifajiwa wanayut na ongeleisha interesting talk to mutendwa apu chinimendi kwa no health without mental health wow powerful follow on social media that business with the end of this conversation the hashtag as always is one in the morning at from maguka at michela shira at y254 channel we still have more in stock for you in a bit maintain your mental health because mental no health without mental health without mental health we are taking a short break and we will be back in a bit keep it y in the morning