 Big smile on your face. Yeah, you raise your hand first. So you're first With your name. I'm Kelly Kelly nice to meet you. Great heard you on the radio a lot So yeah, that could be two chicken to call in and now I'm gonna expose myself here excellent All right. Yeah, I've been told that there's there isn't a microphone. I don't like so I've been on the radio bit So, okay. Tell me your what problem would you like co-cook my work employment? Okay. Tell me more, okay? Tell me more how brief that is gets it out. She clearly was she said, okay, you could tell when she said, okay Good, she was saying good. I get a chance to talk Little brief interjections like that can really help. I also noticed she took a deep breath and she sighed So she's a little nervous even though I was talking to you. I had one ear listening to her So I said, okay, I got to make sure that I keep her calm. So she's gonna be at her best Go ahead. Okay. Well thoroughly confused right now not working Looking I've got a very diverse background and I find my challenges that I've sampled so many different fields and careers and I Mean from firefighting to auctioneer mental health and sales and marketing etc Yeah, so, you know, I joke and I say well, gee, it's hard to decide what to do when you're so good at stuff But notice I said everything I didn't interrupt her. I was like a passing comment of a scent. So it's a verbal way of nodding Okay. Yeah, everything I paraphrased everything. She said in one word Right without but I said it softly so she didn't feel like I was stopping her at all Little subtle techniques. You don't need to use all these. I'm just pointing them out as I use them They're not critical, but it's an opportunity. They always they catch them in the moment These are learning moments in case you might grab on it. Please go ahead Okay, so where do I start? It's just a matter of how my my greatest challenge now being mid 40s Is what now I don't you know I've been in the hospitality industry most recently because of the flexibility that allows me and it's well suited for my Personality and skill set and gives the free time and flexibility better pay than the 12 $15 an hour jobs That you can't live on here in San Francisco So but now what because in 20 years from now, I don't want to be waiting tables. My feet already hurt You know, there's no pension. There's no retirement and I look at my brother who's got the you know Government way has been doing the same thing 20 years retirement family, etc. I'm single No, I'm married not kid So I'm free to come and go as I please although I like my little 200 square foot apartment in San Francisco And so I I keep this I love the city, but it's a challenge and a struggle to live here So it's great living in a big city like this. There's you know Craigslist gig surf lots of jobs you can just get but That's great, and I've had the three or four jobs at a time and that's stressful But I do what I got to do, but I'm really looking for The clarity how to decide, you know when you're good at lots of different stuff And I've sampled this and all my friends and family are like well here try this and everyone has an opinion What you think you should do and I'm like great. Thanks, and I don't want them to feel like I'm not listening Thank you. No, there isn't any 80,000 a year nanny jobs, you know if you find me one I'll take it but that's not what they pay and you know great counter service sling and coffee Of course if you're good at it, but I did that when I was in college and and so so now what so Right now it's really hard because I think for me once I make a decision the doing is easy It's just deciding I always feel like okay once I choose this then it's you know Got me on that trajectory down that way, but what about all these other things and is that gonna allow me to? You know so it's hard making the decision one I need the money now, and then I also want to be thinking about long term, so I'm Yeah, I don't know you're taking on now the the the natural thing that people tend to do they reflect They say oh that must be really difficult Da-da-da and it makes person feel good, but I don't feel that in the end that feels Technique and it doesn't feel legitimate So I'm not gonna even waste a moment on that she saw I was engaged and I was nodding and it and so whatever empathy I had was demonstrated without my having said a word So I'm not gonna do that for what I'm gonna do is the following I'm gonna I'm gonna try a for I'm gonna ask a question I'm going to say and I believe in giving one of the great little techniques is giving two choices So that they don't have you're narrow. She's overwhelmed with all these things And giving her a couple of choices can narrow us down at the game of hot and cold when you were a kid And somebody was hiding and you're hot you're cold you're warm So I'm gonna do that does your intuition within you the goddess within you Tell you that you're going to get your next stable career because it sounds like that's what you want some stability finally, right? That's what I was listening Through one of your network connections because there's many things you could do well Is it going to be something you can get into somebody or is it not going to be from somebody, you know I have no idea I I really I don't know. I know a lot of people Although I've not embraced social networking. That's my bad. That's on my new year's resolution I know but it is a matter of I think if I had tapped into that I would probably be busier than I knew what to do with But I don't know. Um, I've had random things out of the blue come And then People have also who you know has gotten me indoors too. So I don't know the answer to the question No, I'm now in this case because I am going to give her a little bit of practical advice That is more advice giving but Social I believe that social networking for jobs is way overrated Because the nature of the relationship you have on linkedin or in facebook or whatever is way for thin You said that you've had people in the past give you leads That's normally when you're a generalist and you've done all kinds of things But you're smart and cable can do a lot a lot of things Normally it is through your connections. So if I asked you to be systematic about it and make a list of everybody You know, they don't who likes you and simply say I'm scared being vulnerable I'm I'm looking for some I you know, I can be I've done a lot of things from being an auctioneer to to hospitality Um, but I'm looking for something more stable or not on my feet all day That usually utilizes my social skills and my brain and my nurturing personality because I gather because you really want to be an Annie, you know, uh, do you know somebody I should talk with? Do you think if you trusted the goddess within yourself? Do you think that would work for you or not work for you? I think a recommendation from somebody I know of who to talk to yeah, and I've definitely used that before and And that can help. It's just getting down to Okay, so what direction do you want to ask for what you and if I I'm at Sometimes There's a term called false precision You don't know exactly what you're looking for And you're open to many if I if one of your friends referred you to a company that did Or I'm making something absurd That decorated that painted painted libraries And they needed somebody who was going to sell sell that service to libraries And they were going to pay you an amount of money that was going to be sustainable Might you say yes I would explore that right even though you never would have thought about in a million years So you don't need to have something specific to ask you can be relevant. You can't say I'm open to anything I'm desperate. That's too broad But if you say something like I'm known for both people skills ability to learn quickly And nurturance and I'm wondering if you know somebody I should talk with That leaves the door open for them to think of any of a wide range of people they know Now back to the the co-coaching so if I'm saying that to you Trusting the goddess within you does that feel like pie in the sky bullshit? Or does that feel like something you'd like to actually try? It feels like it's going to open up more cans of worms, you know that somebody else is going to oh well here Why don't you try this and here? Why don't you try that and I feel like there's just more suggestions on the plate to consider Oh, and and that's bad you're saying. Well, I'm already more. I don't know that I could handle any more options And it's like I I've got lots of choice. It's something. I don't know. I don't know I want to make sure I've heard you well What you really want in the end is a 60 to 80 thousand dollar job that's stable and rewarding And right now it's just ideas you have But if somebody tells you about somebody you run who's looking for a salesperson in this painting thing and they can introduce you That's not expanding. That's giving you a very specific lead that could lead to an actual job Right So is that opening a can of worms or is that closing? I suppose not. Yeah, that is more of a specific Direction or one door instead of welcome to them all right and so I don't I'd like to continue our I don't feel that's enough. So it's great. I'd like you to make a You know with your permission How do you feel about making a list of 10 or 20 people you know? Tell them the three basic things about you that you're nurturing you're smart and you And you're social and looking for a job that's stable and that is not going to pay minimum wage or whatever First of all, does that feel like a part a good part of the job search plan? Like asking 10 people to give me their suggestions of when I give them a person of somebody you might talk with Okay Yeah Sure, that's a piece of the proposal. Let's look at something else You've done many things, but if there was a goddess and the goddess were to say You had a gift or two that you're naturally very good at or very skilled at that pays What would the goddess say that potentially you do you know? Yeah, there's a lot of things I'm good at and I've made money doing so I'm torn Okay, why don't you list the three that See I'm always trying I'm trying to narrow her in without closing her off. I'm sorry. This is great Tell me three things that you know you can do well. Let's start with that. Okay keeping it small let's say Design customer service sales, okay, there's three. So let's let's look at those When I when you say the word design does that feel realistic? Yeah, because I'm very passionate about the arts and have been you know involved in the community and started a flower design business Which you know, we didn't even bring into this conversation because your intuition tell you there's enough money in that Or should that be a hobby? It's feeling more like a hobby although it could potentially grow into you know, that's why I started a business thinking I like to be my own boss for sure But it's going to take time to to grow to that. So right now our arts are a passion I mean, I've volunteered a lot but a nonprofit I've got a lot of experience in that and I'd really like to Move it toward a profitable in my my finance. So I'm not eliminating working for arts organizations I'm still would love to be involved in the community It could be professional But I'm borderline hobby So I'm listening to you and I'm seeing a person with a very engaging personality And with an interest in the arts Worried a little bit about how viable it was but you also mentioned sales Had you ever sales is fundraising had you ever thought about being a fundraiser for an arts organization? I've done that Yes, how did that work for you? Good at it. However with the change of the economy back in 2008 there was definitely a shift I did a lot of corporate sponsorship and and nonprofits Arts organizations are not Most of my work experience has been nonprofits and there's been a shift Toward, you know shelter food Safety is you know giving points. I mean the arts is very much the affluent You know in a luxury item and there's a lot of money still in that direction Um begging for money. I kind of lost my taste for it And I also thought there was good job security in fundraising There's not there's not I mean grant writing. I found more. I mean because events was more my specialty I'm a great event planner and you know fundraiser in that capacity as far as you know even just a direct ask But it does come down to the So give me your money, you know, and yeah, I'm good at it, but I don't know I took a step out of that I wanted to So does the goddess within notice I interrupt a little bit. She was that's fine. Fine. I was interrupted She had reached the I know she was running out and rather than let her struggle. I did interrupt So with the goddess within you and I like giving choices Well, so with the goddess within you tell you you should be work for that arts nonprofit as a grant writer as a event Put her on her or as a picture a direct picture of money I like the events events come are a lot of fun And with the goddess within you tell you you should work in In event planning for an arts nonprofit and focus on getting that or bs You said sales some other kind of a sales position I would rather do the the events definitely my passion's there So if we said that in addition there's going to be two prongs to your Job search one is going to be you're going to make a list of 10 people You know tell them that while you're very interested in in doing event planning for a nonprofit You're also open to anything that's going to pay decently that's going to involve Potentially sales design and whatever the third one was Sure, thanks Thanks for listening. No customer service is a dead end bad Right lowest satisfaction is terrible pay and and worst in customer satisfaction because you're always dealing with people with problems But I'm so good at that. You know, I wish it paid better. Great. So you so you're pushing back Do you would you like to be involved in customer as a customer service manager? Yeah, if it well Yeah, sure if it the pay was right, would you rather be a customer service manager or or an event planner for a nonprofit? One is a desk job a lot more on the phone one is more out and about I like the events I it's it's you glowed I again now there's another technique I watch her face a face is a light bulb And it can light up all the way or part way She lighted up at the event planning for the nonprofits arts preferable But I could see her still enjoying doing it if it wasn't arts absolutely Long as the check clears that wasn't technique as long as the weather check clear, right? No, but I was watching her like a hawk. That's part of what being a good listener is Listener is not just to the words. It's to the face. It's to all of it Okay So if we said that the two prongs are you're going to make a list of 10 people who like you Say that you're open to any anything your first choice would be some kind of an event planner for a nonprofit Especially an art one But you're also open to something that relates to sales Nurture and design etc And the second thing is you're going to make a list of nonprofits that you really believe in Then maybe you're not the biggest ones because it's going to be hard to get a job at a famous one But some nonprofits that you believe in and speak to their director of development about a job Trust the goddess within you. How does that feel as a plan? It feels like an option. Let's be silent for 15 seconds get in touch with how you're feeling really deep down What's feeling yucky good and fuzzy? That's the other way I've word that what feels good yucky or fuzzy There's a way of focusing their Feeling and thinking 15 seconds silence starts now What are you feeling? I'm feeling like I Tried that The nonprofit just because of the experience I had and what I've noticed with the trends of the industry And if I could bring in, you know, my hospitality with partner that with the events I give to the arts organizations my time. I volunteered. I do flowers pro bono yada yada, but That's why I'm thinking of you know merging into the restaurant With events because I've got the hospitality how they always have private dining That feels more like the angle I should go I feel like I've beaten down a lot of nonprofit doors and I have worked for some Major ones and that's why I'm finding across the board. I don't know if I want to go back to nonprofit I love the cause. I've always done cause marketing and I'll continue to be involved and volunteer, but I want to make some money. I'm tired of being broke So what I'm hearing you say is you'd like to go to Hotels or whatever that do events and be in charge of their event planning. Is that what I'm hearing possibly I'm considering that because it's a it's a site specific. It's a it's already established people need to eat people need to have parties So is the plan and it's not begging for money So is it a fair summary of the plan that you're going to contact those 10 people, you know Ask them if they know somebody in that industry as well as Other things that would utilize your event planning experience to what extent does that feel right and wrong that feels better I like where this direction is going asking people for How exactly do I ask those 10 people? What am I asking them to say? I'm looking You know for to return back to some of my best strengths I'm an event planner by nature And I'm particularly interested in working for a hotel or resort or whatever in helping them as being an events manager But I'm also open to Um anything, you know an interesting job in sales or potentially in customer service managing Or that it brings in my aesthetic might you know somebody I should talk with How again, how does that feel to you as if we if I vaporize another technique I use to put myself out of the equation If I vaporized I don't exist. I'm on planet Pluto. That's exactly what I say What what would you feel good about the plan? Would you implement that plan something a variation of the plan? What would what would Kelly do? I I will take steps in that direction I will make a list of I think potential co-coaches Some people in my life friends or family that can listen objectively without just oh, you should should should should You know, and I don't know if I can come up with 10 or 20 that can really engage this way But maybe five That would be some solid connections, but I think I do have you know 10 or 20 that might have some recommendation of Contacts and career people potentially and that's why I thought the linkedin thing, you know the social media The only challenge like well, I'm not even public because it's been how do I Put who and what my background is about looking like gee you've sampled every job there is out there, so but that's my Albatross I Linkedin is really meant to help employers find people And somebody with a background that's varied is going to end up looking it's like it's like very person with no clothes It lays everything bare right and I and I I try to I leave things out. I'm like, I just not sure how to but that's a whole I would use your existing network of people does that makes how does that feel? Is that I feel like a relief or does that feel yucky? Well, I haven't embraced my I mean I have like two friends on facebook, but I have a lot of friends Right, I just those are the ones I want you those that's who's going to more likely help you land a good job Your real friends not your bs facebook or linkedin friends Okay, how are you really feeling right now? Like I'm hiking up that hill, you know, I got work to do it's it's So say I want you to summarize again. What are you what are you really going to do that's going to feel good to you? What am I going to do in light of in light of our co-coaching session? What are you going to what's your to-do your very specific baby baby step to-do list? My baby step to-do list is to get a list of people and ask them if they know anyone that I could talk to in Events at a hotel a restaurant even a nonprofit or some kind of customer service aficionado position Was that it that was that was basically what I'm yeah, and it's it's an action step It's an action step instead of just I mean at least through this conversation has helped You know pinpoint, you know two or three options instead of the 30 I was looking at when I came in, you know So okay