 Welcome to church of the chair Where we celebrate all the things we do while seated. I'm your hostie and tonight. We are starting a first playthrough of Remnant to Hey, oh, what's up young Tane? How you doing? I'm currently waiting on Derek to get up in here He's the one who paid for the game. So he gets to Say when we start. Oh, thanks for the membership Tane appreciate you All right I'm working on my setup still I next time I stream I should have I should have camera and everything up and running right now. I'm just working on the base stuff so For really real though Tane. I appreciate you. Thank you. All right. Hey Jayrod We're waiting on Derek to mosey on in Can you guys hear me all right? I? Need to adjust any volumizer testing testing Hello, hello Anybody coming in. Let me know if you can hear me. Hey Zee Lee. Can you hear me? Oh, yes, we can hear you. Okay No one was saying anything. Okay, Derek. There you go. All right, okay Now I can get started actually I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to go Yeah, let me turn the lights off in here. Give me a second. All right We back at it Okay, I got my laptop up and running so I'll be able to see you guys over here So if I miss anything I'm happy you're playing games. I am happy to be playing games Jayrod I got small reasons why they cast marky mark as a science teacher if you want Are you talking about what the happening? Is that what you're talking about? All right, let's jump into this. I already created my character Boy, this already looks much better than the first one To come back. Oh, she looked good Yeah, they do look dope nice and crisp crisp with a capital P I The sinkhole She looked like a she looked like a toddler in a grown person's body Are you sure about that let's go girl you got that hip herpes gone to syphilates with the book is Growing on your army. I only played like the first maybe hour of the this session will be joinable after completing the tutorial Yeah, well, we ain't gonna be doing all that. All right. What's my button? What's my oh, I'm already hurt Yeah Shit we got a map I don't know Back when we had the internet coffee was God For the finer things in life choose Fulton's like fold your kitchen You've never had a bitter cup. Are you sure about that? She looks like what's her face? She looks like somebody y'all know who I'm talking about Like why would y'all know who I'm talking about? But the bus this is giving some a hardcore last of us vibes mucho last of us Hello, how do I change my shenanigans? Okay? Last of us factions to Let's go up here, right? Yeah Actually, no no no let Let a girl explore. Oh, nope Okay, that's a zoom zoom. Well, I got mad hops. Look at that ups today. See yeah, this is They definitely took a inspiration from last of us Oh, we got a we got a leap button Well when we're next to an edge anyway, let's go. Oh, yeah Yeah Hello y'all got some hot swag loot over here. Yes, we do what you got for me. Oh That's a bro. You don't look too good. I'll be up there in a minute. Oh, hello Well, he died laughing So He he told him a joke that fool died laughing. All right Nope, that is not the button I need. Okay, so it's square to Yeah What am I supposed to come back for you Are you oh, I'm oh through the door My bad, I'm new to this game You'll get off the fence. What's wrong with you? I don't know what you don't know is this door over here? What button square? Hey, what's up? We don't want me. Oh what you selling? Little good money What you selling look I just go I want to push you well round They did That one told a bad joke. Well, that one told a good joke and that one died laughing How about them apples and her Can we go now I grabbed it Use it, how do you how do you I? Love what they haven't done with the place stupid dog. I'm playing my pain. Oh, no. All right, so L1 Oh Bro, I just ate something off a dead body. You do realize that I'm finna die, right? Your hair looks great over here the foot Which button square? Okay, I Have to wait for a I have to wait for a prompt to open a door At least my ankle ain't bum anymore. Hey there The tire was coming at me out with okay. I'm getting stuck on the weirdest things I've been stuck on a chair. I've been stuck on a fence Do I got stamina? Yes, I do have stamina. All right, so we full dark souls in it. All right. I heard that I heard that Who did it? Oh? Y'all got a oh y'all might want to get that check All right, I keep forgetting to which button is the run button. Oh I got a slide boy. We in Call the duty. Oh, that's tank. Oh, that's somebody Bad with side of broccoli. That ain't broccoli girl. Let me get up on him well, we Got all this strawberry pop rocks everywhere The electric slide. I'm gonna have to get used to. Oh, whoa. Nah, do you mind? God got you in the head meat. What do you mean it don't count? I Busted a full cap in his ass It better count. It's all dead ends all dead ends. Hey, he didn't drop nothing man. What kind of game is this? Right foot to step Step to the left. Oh, does that explode II? I would say not man. I don't get no exploding barrels. Are they the red barrels? That's empty What why do I feel like there's not gonna be a much reward for exploring in this game so far the levels are pretty open and empty All right I don't think we should go Look, this place is infested with the devil strawberries. I don't I Don't I Ain't got a torch a lantern nothing. I can't see my own Nose in front of my face. Where you going? Oh shit. She fit in the reenact Blair Witch project run well then Hello Checking the killer strawberries. Are you good? Are you okay? You got tuberculosis like multiple tuberculosis. I've only seen one good one dude to shoot Okay, so I don't have to press a button for Can I um what is going on? Did y'all see that hiccuping? That's a gargantuan butthole that some demon is gonna sprout out of there's no way out of here Oh, no got you in the head meat. Oh crap. Okay That's the wrong button. I'm trying to oh am I supposed to die? I don't think that's supposed to happen My character dead dead What is up with these games and killing you right at the beginning? We're gonna need to pick a boat if you can save me Just with a flesh wound she caught us like straight through like right in betwixt her titty me Okay, oh Legend has it they were roommates Music doesn't quite fit this emotional moment, but that's how I know sounds like one of my dudes Wait, what I might have to use one of those big band-aids on What the fish tacos Well, we got some time controlling this one like fear I want that little doodad stop time powers Hold this cracker barrel. What'd you say? Hey, what up girl? You look like uh derrick's new girlfriend Friend, sorry. Let me not assume shit This game does look pretty damn clean though. I ain't gonna lie Oh, she got them brain powers Yeah, stopping time. Yeah, I love any game that you can control time My favorite is uh Oh, what's that one called um Singularity that game was so much fun Whoa, she just cleared out the entire room was like one brain fart That was amazing mad respect Good you you did good I think you got ringworms. What's all that around your neck? Get it ringworm. No, okay. How you know wait a second get back here Tell me how you know how you know that one would be the last of The last of us. Haha. Am I right? But it's Okay, now this part looks like the beginning of one Uh-oh chat on the playstation is messing up again. So I'll just watch the the laptop over here I'm starting to get all the stuff from earlier in the stream. All right. Let's find another one way out then Play boy play boy All right, let's go this way I don't suspect there's going to be a whole lot of reward for exploring early on braid Hang on super hot and max pain are my favorite time manipulating games I love Max pain one and two But I tried to go back and play him That shit ain't happening man Uh, my favorite would be singularity the fear one and two. What the fish? Oh, oh, get you ah What? Uh-uh, I will shoot you in your uh-uh get you Ah Oh, thank you Y'all my homies for real. Thank you. I almost got it This game is definitely made for multiplayer Can a boy can a boy get to ah headshot We good. We good Here's her. Here's her. We got hand cannon ammo. We got scrap What else did we pick up? I missed it. Ah, but I'm gonna have to get good. I'm gonna have to get used to these controls I mean the ammunitions I got 15. All right Really anybody see what else I picked up. I don't want to have to play the tape back You'll be ready tomorrow. That's cool I'm more God swat bro. You kill me with that shit I use words. I ain't heard like ever Uh-uh sit your head down get headshots headshots Save ammo headshots Yeah, come on you little damn it. Demogorgon looking a bit. Let me see what this uh, what this rifle do Yeah Let's go, baby boy, baby girl never mind Look at she's fine. It's up. Let me get some light. Hold up. Look at her. Look at her Boy, let me uh, let me hush for she'll get jumps on this stream She does kind of look like serena williams. You're right Serena fine. So I ain't mad at that. I think she's prettier. But this is my two cents Now this serena bad I mean she bad Not as bad as this Okay Bruh, is that group mama? Ah, that's a whole ass boss. Okay Oh, I didn't like that. Uh, do you mind? Oh, I almost get your iron rude ass out of my face Melee attack Oh No, hey, hey, hey Uh-oh, I said no Leave me alone. Hi viking. How you doing? Oh She coming for my booty me y'all a lot. She coming. No, I don't got to hang of this now You done messed up fucking with me in my homie Uh-oh Come on. There we go. Let's go root ganglia. I got a gangly root too Y'all didn't hear that. Hey viking. Hey, I leave for 30 minutes and all of a sudden you're just in here playing games One trait point Are you sure about that because we just killed group mama Yeah, she got she got that shit No, she ain't She got that resin evil group It's uh dark souls with guns What's good? What's good was gucci never mind it didn't show up What's gucci gang member there you need to stop keeping in the honey Well, I got me some of this a gatorade fit Ooh, it is not good at all the healthy real hydration I don't know what kind of crap they got in this but the sweetener is terrible Tastes like pickled ass in case you're wondering. Yes. Is that Chris Christopherson? Uh In case you're wondering pickled ass tastes much worse than regular. Just just just letting you know Like a nice pressure wasp butthole nothing beats it I Where's my top who you calling darlin son? I hope so Oh discount jason statham over here What's up dawg? Is that drake? Let me get you some water. Don't sound like drake You're not fine. You need rest I ain't gonna lie that tutorial boss was kind of weak Really really weak All right, get some sleep because drake looks like you want to beat the back off you. I got a name Your friend will be fine. My eyes are up here dawg Your name is not bow ward Road still a dangerous place. Yeah, we just killed group mama Uh, we were looking for you actually for this ward. Uh, where I came from wasn't safe We heard about a place it was Yeah He do look like he want to knock her doonies I ain't heard that one yet Knock her doonies down Break you off some of this All right, I missed all that How's everything did you just call me a hoe did you just Fuck you too, man. Oh drake looking shit I always did prefer a little wane. I really appreciate you saving us out there Where's the one that said did you just call me a hoe? Uh, what's going on clementine? Yeah It's electric You don't sound like a leader. I'm just saying that right now dawg like you don't sound Like a leader You sound like the most unsure mug in this whole place And I didn't even talk to anybody else. I'm just saying you ain't got leadership potential much less Actually being a leader you seem pretty young. How are you a guard 20 years ago, right? You a lie We said a leader can't care for anyone if they don't care for themselves Just trying to live, right? I reckon she learned it from the founder He's been around for ages Ain't much for me and himself. I wonder if the founder is the uh The main character from the first game commander ford is the founder's daughter Weavey granddaughter got down The founder wasn't around as much back in the day, but Commander Allen was like a mother to me To all of us from the old ward This just doesn't seem right She's gone before he is Yeah, but when our last hope fails another must take its place She used to say that too How long has the founder been around exactly? I couldn't say Commander used to talk about him like he was dead and gone before I was born You'd have to ask him yourself I guess but He didn't like the rest of us. He's He's seen a lot I just saw a group mama and shot her in her face. So I mean, we don't seem a lot too Do you see them little demigorgan dogs running around? I was wondering about something else Is there something going on between you and clementine? Here we go, Derek. We're getting to the meat of it Yeah, you like her. No, it's not I don't I mean Yes, you do Oh, she ain't reciprocating Boy, you talk just like you in the friend zone, too Isn't it like the bed bugs that fill off the fill off the heat you write? Yeah Like those had a knock bumped ugliest with a demigorgan I guess you could say she's my She's your muse. What are their cheesy lines you got bro? I really appreciate you saving this out there I don't want to say either one of these things Stay safe traveler preaching nature, but I got a name fool I don't remember what it is I don't even I have no idea what my character name is Let's see here. What all we got? What all we got in here? So we got vigor endurance some spirituals and some expertise Bro got the moist games Yes All right, so since we don't know what the hell we're doing. I think I'm gonna throw a point into Some bitch vigor. I don't know. What do y'all think? I think my build is like a Not a tank, but uh, yeah, let's just go with vigor Yeah It's like that Oh, they make sure you you ready All right inventory. I got this root rocket Uh root dangly a crafting material part flesh part dead wood all disgusting It might not be moving, but it sure as hell feels like it Is this in your pocket like squirming or throbbing or whatever. I'm gonna need more deets What is my character's name? I cannot remember Uh advanced stats Okay, that's not helping at all just calling me a traveler like I ain't got a name How about them apples? What up good? You over here barbara crew? Donald who? Donald duck Speaking of brad, where's brad perkins at? All right, all right, we'll get up there eventually. I gotta I gotta walk over here. What's up solvents. How you doing? I wasn't expecting this live either honestly You sound like danny from far cry six. Yeah house cast doing how my baby girl doing Hang on to her. Yeah, I'm good man. Hope you had a good weekend. It could have been better But I was planning on doing nothing and I ended up doing a lot of something. You know how that is That girl's tough all night. Yep Right now she needs rest And she's up and about I'll make sure you know I knew cast was my munch. I knew it in my heart me Can I see what you have to sell if she just whoops out her pocketbook is like this? I'll be like no Not right now. I'm with cast What you need? Hey, you look like not alley sheety. What is that girl name? Merchants buying sell items for scrap merchants in ward 13 sell a variety of items including weapons armor consumables and even stew Cast got yeah big She does you right other merchants can be found within the game world selling a number of unique items I'm so glad I ain't got enough money for nothing What is this cost $1,500 or bolts whatever the fuck the currency is Perhaps once a shiny silver Now there's the marks of time and where it features a symbol commonly associated with healers and medics Serving as a reminder of the wearer's dedication to saving lives Removes overloaded effect and increases shot. Oh, I'm with some shop Oh corrosion. What is this bird borderlands? I said bird birderlands Hello, is this birderlands? burning Blood root consumable regenerates 1.5. I need that but I'm y'all. I'm one nut short I'm dr. Nora Noah Jones, what's up good? All right bandits consumable stops Bleeding and restores all gray health Sigourney weaver mixed with the girl from stranger things Let me let me see you one more game. You talking about Winona writer Yeah, if you're talking about Winona writer, I I'm with you. I'm with you All right, what can I do for you? You can uh, I have some questions asking questions is the only way to learn Donde está mi pantalones You seem pretty young for a doctor. Neve Campbell is yeah. Yeah, I could see it How'd you get started? Let's just go from them Why is everybody so young to me? It's like uh, you ain't but what me I do a grasshopper The one not young but the one in the love triangle Oh head knowledge So like no teeth. Yeah, I mean if you like teeth, that's on you. I ain't I ain't trying to kink shame Hey, don't touch my titty again. Don't do that again. I'ma warn you. I'm cast Uh How's abuelo doing Dressing rooms making men's Grandpa Yeah, did she just call her grandfather grandpa? That don't sound right. All right. He sounds like a great man. He sounds weird if you call him grandpa That's because everybody dead. We're in the apocalypse. You get that Oh, Nancy Wheeler the okay. All right a steve's steve's girl on and off on again off again girlfriend What'd you find? What did you find in the ancient hospitals? Tons. Oh my god, stop calling him grandpa I'm sorry Oh She she's talking about organ donation, but it sounds archaic because we're in the apocalypse. I'm surprised There's anything left in those rooms Really Mm-hmm Hi Yeah, bet Well The see I don't like this he had to Grandpa sound fishy. Did you say your grandfather invented the cure for root rot? It's not a cure All right, when I meet grandpa, I'm gonna do two things. I'm gonna thank him and I'm not gonna call him grandpa Hmm Well I don't have to go back and play the first game. I know the commander's dead now spoiler alert. Uh Thanks, I better go. Mm-hmm. I bet saucy minks Found on road dead fixer repair daily fuck done. We're all deal. Which one is it? Oh, I don't want to do that Hey, what's up slipknot? That's your name now Hey, what's up? Oh Hey, Ty This broke this this dude over here snoring in my ear so loudly I heard you're the unofficial historian here. I like to keep myself. All right. I'm just another survivor making their way out there I grew up far from here Ah Yes, just just in case he he want to be a freaky old timer Oh No, I don't want what Reggie has to give. No, you keep you keep the dangling down there in your shoestring Uh, I'd like to see I I do have scrap. I got scrap. I ain't got What is this firing Shock ring corrosion ring. Oh, what's this old metal tool? Is that an iron? The handle of this metal object has a reassuring weight to it while the solid base looks like it could withstand a lot of wear and tear While its purpose is uncertain That's a lot of hang on. That's a lot of wiles Um while its purpose is uncertain. It appears to be a sturdy and reliable tool I don't have enough money for any of this. I need a dollar to go buy something off that lady or a nut I need one nut. What up old timer? I already like this character I got away from my stove. Oh, it's you I gotta told you that Careful with the hard ER Deborah Mudd tooth How the hell do you get a name? You eat booty, don't you? You eat booty like groceries. I know it. That's why they call you mud tooth. Uh-huh. Can I ask you some questions? I don't want to know nothing about it. Yes, I do. What can you tell me about yourself? Thanks, Ty Uh, what can you tell me about this town? Cause it wouldn't be considered much more than a camp or a I love this dude already. I love his voice actor It is a fine place to set up a kid I've lived by myself for years You don't say I've got myself a Tallywacker Oh, sorry It's a lucky thing I've been loving by myself When my boy Bravis showed up saying we should move on told me it wasn't safe for me to be living Like I've been living no more He told me Damn He did Yeah, no, I heard that see I was out here on this road. Um, and me and cast we came across this, uh Giant tree looking chick and she's about smacked the shit out of me OMG that heart is annoying as fuck. I'm on my tablet watching in my I told you Yeah, that's that's what that's what we were talking about that heart that covers up the like second to last word Um, what's the story with Bravis? Oh, is that slipknot We got some new names over here old Reggie's Melly Mel Uh, Grant right here. Uh, I don't know what we gonna call mud tooth, but we got slipknot back there You said there were three reasons people came to see you. What's the third? Oh, no Yeah, that and the stew Bro can't count But pretty pretty sure old mud tooth I have it on tape like I recorded you saying that Melly Mel, what you doing over there? What are you about to fall over? Hold on to that cane. Yeah M&M whoop you ass, didn't you? Uh Can you tell me a story? Yeah Of my apple she got them apple bottom Jane Jane boot with the fur Oh, I bet you that's a quest Would you get your shit right before you start talking this old? He played thumb. He played knick-knack. No, and I don't mean like he can see whatever he wants when he wants That ain't all yeah, I played both of them there. I like them both Is a maker the main scene is like a spider web sits at the center where there ain't a door He made cross No, I ain't tell you just one door in a dozen He does sound like a muffin, but I love it I'll be damned for real You bullshit That story ain't number cap Look at the dude in the background the guy cooking his arms as big as my head Uh, I don't want another story. Not right now. I'll come back after I find the maker Yep PS5 chat when all the way back to the beginning again zeely green. I'm happy you're playing games Like gene both Yeah, let's see what you got. You got anything for 74 nuts crazy. Yeah Okay, the root mean okay fine Okay I need to head out Yeah Yeah, I'll be back. I'll be back Yo, are you the duck dude? I'm supposed to be seeing Hey, bro. What's up? Can I see your face? Yo, what is up with mr. Faceless man right here Hey, bro You got some chess meat on you cuz how you doing? Hey I want to see Oh, I broke the game. It started glitching. Let's go back down here for a second Scooby-dooby-doo All right, so we know slipknot is uh stews. We'll call them stew We know slipknot is uh Is stew's son grandson or something like that Hey, what's up? All right, you're the one with the big old arms. Thank you. Look at you. Oh, you built ain't you Who's your mama? Making sure we ain't related Okay, so all y'all gonna do now is just like be like, hey, he's upstairs. Go do your business I want to explore right boom 132 You can't go wandering off after something that talk about this. No No You are 132. No, you don't y'all didn't see me I wasn't in here Y'all don't pay me no attention. See I'm gonna come around here and be like Hey, what else? No, not talking about this right now. Oh, okay. I'm I'm sorry. Can I get you something? Maybe some of stew stew Maybe a back rub from slipknot Hey, what if uh What if meli mel comes in here and raps for you? I don't know. All right. Hey, uh, hello Hey, what's up gandalf? You look like gandalf and a dwarf had a baby Yeah, I can't there's no there we go I got a name, bitch Yes, I don't remember it I haven't you know families fight andrew for good to make your acquaintance Holy shit. It's true. I guess my reputation precedes me Yeah, you know, they named you after a car that like nobody but like good old boys like Like they used to break down all the time. Did you know that I heard stories on the road? Get it on the road found on road dead I thought you were a campfire story, but how they say to hang on, uh Description writers taking the job seriously. All right. Um Yeah, but how they say you're hundreds of years old. Sure. You've got a lot of questions and I've got a favor to ask Okay, then you already asking favors Uh, if you're really the floor to belt this place, how are you alive? Were you expecting me? I'd like to know more about the beat now Yeah, how are you like a longer story than I can indulge right now. God damn it Let's keep it to this You know how some things you drink can make you drunk and some things you eat can make you sick or sleepy. Well Other things do this It's a big world out there Can I get some I'd be careful what you wish for his father would have mother and his mother was a mother. Yep Uh, what kind of favor we talking about there because you kind of old and that I ain't touching your gentle Right rock on. Um, this is as long as you ain't talking about what I think you're talking about I'd like to know more about the people here. Were you expecting me? Oh you military military Love averages someone's always coming eventually, right? If you if yeah, if you got the right partner, um Yeah, I want to be skeptical aren't you clever that's skeptics. He yes It so happens. I knew he'd be coming today. My baby daddy was a baby mama Did you know that? I would Wallace know Oh a lot like Somebody I used to wait like Timmy special bad dreams too dreams about things that hadn't yet come to pass Okay That's a little cryptic Oh Really? This came as the most standing. We'll get to the fight here in a second. Jeff. We're just being mighty cryptic and what I'm Jeff Looks like jeff from tron to Uh, I'd like to know more about doing let me see if I can get you up to speak. Okay Oh my god, there's more dialogue. Uh, why were you and clementine fighting? I mean it depends on what kind of parents you had longer than anyone else That's a lot of water to put under a narrow bridge You talking about pissing because I think you're talking about pissing. He needs to make it up somewhere All right, let's see here. Come on get out the screen. All right. She can't be more than what 19? Uh-oh her abilities. Do they hurt her? Yeah, let me Well, of course, what is this a steven king book things we can't see so easy. I like there's a manual Who is his voice he sounds awfully familiar. I don't know how any of this is gonna help me But he knows the run of a war learned from the best Just a kid or 13 Sort of adopted Fair enough damn good job Okay, he made sense to put him in charge once we started up here, but he's young I got I got ass hairs older than older than him. I mean, what are we doing here pops? You know, you really do look like jeff bridges. His rigs really is nice as he said. I don't care about that Mama say the soul in town has lost as much as rigs. I don't know how that man gets up out of bed every day But he does We're damn thankful So it's like rigs and myrtle for real like is he like Like 80 synth music and like he's trying to give that fallatio to a gun like in like in his in his cabin Not cabin, but you know his camper Is that does anybody know what i'm talking? Oh, I need to watch those movies again I don't have any other questions now that you shot your shot. I'm sorry. Here's mine So we've been to get down to dirty for real able young scrapper to help an old man out Talk to walle. Oh, you had me worried by the docks. Okay after that Gira, I'll tell you a story. I've heard a lot of stories so far. What's up with your desk? Anyway, oh, that's a wall I remember the first uh game having issues with wall clipping too What up drake? Um never mind. You ain't got nothing to say. Okay All right, let's go out to the dock and talk to the dude that I talked to earlier. Oh, shit. Why'd you You you can't walk down the stairs Who a big strong man y'all flirting Look at her leaning forward so she he can get a good look at them then that that valley that chasm between between them You know them things Dude, oh, I get to see his face. He looks kind of like Muhammad Ali What up Muhammad? I'll bloom Bloom bloom How am I supposed to get up? Okay I asked gonna need saving for my boot. Keep talking back All right, let's go Oh, I'm already busy Did I go too high show did? Let's see. What's up here first Come get off the wall Oh, that's gonna be an issue with this game. I'm gonna be very very upset Oh, this is this pretty look at all that All that detail on places. I'm never gonna go The only thing that would make it better is that the boat was like rocking with the water But I know this is a small studio Hey gearbox games the ones who did borderlands, uh Published this one. They didn't develop it, but they published it. Hey, what's up walley? Going on cut You the local method you look like it. I see you traveler Yeah, hi, you're the one for it's been waiting for though. He doesn't know he's been waiting We think he needs help It's her who needs it. It's her who needs it you done by my lady You cryptic ass bit these kids Messier when I tell them oh see So you're the dude who can who can see you're the maker Sorry, I probably said that already too What Okay, this is gonna get mad confusing Wallace. Yeah, Ford told me to see you. This is weird You Oh Oh, I don't want to be a medic Hey Derek, let me know actually I'll just start and I'm gonna start a new game with you Hunter All right, let's go back. Um The medic regenerates additional relic charges by healing themselves And allies, excuse me. I didn't finish reading and The medic specializes in survivability with enhanced healing and relic effectiveness Healing support well rounded. You know, you boy. You got to tank it up though Hunter long range marking precision damage. Ooh precision down. Yeah, I ain't a precise precise precisioner Uh, the hunter specializing in ranged damage precision shots and marking enemies Hunter can extend the duration of their active skills by dealing ranged weak spot damage Oh, that's my boy. Look at that Oh my girl. Well either one whatever boy. Look good. God. Look at him challenger close range durable hard to kill I think that's what we're going with What do y'all what do y'all think? We which which one? Which one we which one we want here? So we got challenger upon taking fatal damage to challenger brushes off death and returns to battle Oh, wait, wait, wait. We got all this other stuff enters a heightened state of battle Which increases fire rate by 15 percent Reloads by 20 percent movement speed by 10 percent last 10 seconds Kills and dealing significant damage grant one stack of rage which increases Rage range damage by 2.5 per stack upon reaching 10 stacks the challenger goes berserk I go berserk every time I get 10 stacks, too Which which reloads their current firearm and doubles rampage effects for 15 seconds And this is very much like borderlands. I don't remember this the first one being like this Become nearly unstoppable gaining three stack of bulwark Uh 15 increased movement in melee Uh bus bus bus melee speed 50 increased melee damage Stagger level reduced by one last 25 seconds Creates a high impact trimmer that deals 150 I think I think I want this one An additional stagger in a forward cone up to 7.5 Uh deals damage in all directions at point blank range What's what weapons do I have does it tell me do I have another oh I do have it hang on Oh, I got Y'all new new best game. I can have a dog. Oh I can have a dog. Oh pet companion teamwork utility Little hey The handler specialized in teamwork in both solo and cooperative scenarios When the handler is down their companion will attempt to revive them Oh Yo, I don't know Okay, honestly, I think it's a difference between hunter And challenger I really like the idea you want the doggo? Um Man, I don't know If I do this I can stay back and get licks in The only problem is I'm not good with precision This just turns you into a beast Uh Let's let's do this. Well, yeah die hard. Oh, just saying cute doggo. Yeah Uh, it's oh bruiser helmet bruiser body plate Yeah bruiser gloves and bruiser pants, right Boots whatever, uh, it seems like this is the right path They not what you need Then the next step on your journey. I see you again. Trap appreciate it in zeo Ezio, whatever the hell your name is from assassin's pre-defa But I am getting tired of getting stuck on look at that every time I come around a corner She gets stuck for a second See I oh that just glitched out. I got to stay away from walls What's up kids? Stay off drugs, bitch I'll do hunter. All right I'll I'll restart if you want to pick something else. Uh, Derek when we play I'll uh 100 percent Uh, I'm gonna start over with you anyways If you don't stop it with getting stuck on things What are you covered in goop? Hey there go Brabus Ava McCabe all these people want to talk to me I'm sorry Yeah, wait, I thought the world was helping me Hey, what's up chat You think humans would attack humans You think human humans would attack humans after everything in the root. Yes Yes, stay into your question What do you mean you should know I used to be one of them Years ago. I ran a pack called the muck dogs It took what we wanted and killed anyone who crossed us. Well, damn The doggie dog world back then. Mm-hmm. We all did what we had to to survive Right Things might be different now A lot of folks can chew a path out of the old ways Yeah, you know how it is sometimes people be stuck on stupid. Listen Wallace, uh told me to see you He said you were uh the next step in my journey Uh-huh Well, I mean no, everybody's been really fucking vague, but uh, there's something about my path Bitch you lacking You don't want out here looking like you dressed like a bard from 1400 Oh them some guys All right Fired great sword. Oh, I got a big boom boom. What's the other? Oh, I got it. Okay I didn't realize I had a handgun too. I thought it was just a shoddy All right, so I got a hand cannon. I got a shoddy boom body And I got a big old giant sword. I'm about to stick in somebody's booty meat Come here rigs Need to talk to you. What's up jason statham discount jason. Let's go wriggler All right, all right, what was wrong with mccabe Uh bravis told me to see you No, he just called me all different kinds of bitches and hoes and sent me over here He said you were going to talk his ear off if he didn't Yeah, yeah Okay, you want to fill me in Hey, let's upgrade. Oh, some characters can upgrade your item with materials found in the world or by defeating enemies Upgrading is essential to keeping up with increasingly difficult enemies in the game Um from what I remember the first one The enemies level up with you so no matter what The enemies are as hard as you are pause I don't know what i'm gonna be using the most yet I got skull face boy starting it after I finished the new patrona word book. Awesome Look, can I like can I scrap these or can I sell them or something? I don't know. Um Um, what do you think we'll use the we probably need this for bosses, right? Yeah, let's do that All right, I will appreciate you mccabe. What's up. Good. Yeah, this is pretty much just a remake of the first game So far Skull face boy is uh was my first lutzki and I've Not Not quick sense actually while he sent me he said you could help me with my journey Bro didn't bro. I said bro bow didn't mention it. I want it over here. Apparently that was a mistake now Actually while he sent me he said you could help me with my journey You're serious, aren't you? Yeah, so what the hell is this journey? I I don't Actually know I swear that boy weren't so goddamn right all the time. He and I'd be having words for cuss at once The only reason anyone bothers me is because I'm good with a hammer So really I can modify your weapons or we can find a more creative use for it. I'm sorry. Tell you what I heard you picked up something strange on your little jaunt earlier. Maybe I could do something with it How how yo girl how creative we talking because that uh that white streak in your hair is doing something for for me Um, I know my girl is back there, but I was thinking yo, what's up You want to do something NPCs throughout the world and war 13 can be used to craft new items weapon mods boss weapons armor, etc Each crafting recipe has a number of required materials plus scrap which are required to craft them Jay rod and e are my two most trusted advisors. Don't let me advise you of anything Other than let's keep books because they're all they're all fantastic good to fantastic Ain't read a bad one yet. I don't want to give her my root. Well, I mean I want to give her my root, but you know what I'm saying um Concussive shot weapon mod fires a focused blast of air through all targets within eight meters dealing 155 damage and four times impact Oh, this is gonna get deep. I'm gonna have to look up a walkthrough at some point Make sure I don't screw this up launches a payload that explodes on contact with allies. Ha ha same Uh healing 35 of their max health when no ally is no that that wouldn't work for my build Uh fires uh caltrops grenade that explodes To cover an area of six meters other than e hating on john dies at the end and ready player one Other than that he doesn't miss. Did I say I didn't like john dies at the end? I enjoyed it. What did I say? Are you? Because I like that one. It's a ready ready player one. That's shitty cheats Um, you have a build 20 damage per second and apply slow Yeah, I know I know what you're getting at there Uh, the slow enemies that walk over them last 10 seconds imbues ammunition with fire And increases range damage by 15 for 20 seconds Shots also apply burning dealing 200 fire damage over. Okay. So what I'm feeling here is the fire damage Yeah, let's do the fire damage All right, how do I equip that hot shot? Yeah, baby Listen, I didn't call it a journey. They did Yeah, you try talking to these vegas mother Oh, what you been to do with the hammer girl? Then a stranger came and called them the wanderer Notice everyone gets a handle here. Mm-hmm. They show up and stop the route. Did we though? We live in these buildings here and me I keep it real simple. I enjoyed the book I I do respect the dude for changing his name to his real name now instead of the david wong name. I respect that His name is like jason something. Anyways, can you craft something for me? I guess I'll leave I didn't say it was Good, I don't like people either Hey, can can I just stay here with you? I mean the book is a horror comedy classic and the series only gets better from there I did enjoy the film too Jason wong melon cam. Um Uh, I have all of his books down here. That's why I'm kind of like I'm I'm wondering what I said to make you think that I didn't like it. Did I Did I shit on it? If I did I apologize I must have been in a mood because I have the first three books down here And I enjoyed the first one Don't don't tell me what that kinky shit now. All right. We out All right, so I've already been Down for an hour 15. I'm gonna take like a 10 minute break and we'll be back Uh Jason parging park in whatever. Yeah. Anyways, y'all keep yourselves busy I'll be back in five ten minutes and then we'll play for at least another I'm gonna play until because I gotta get some sleep so me and Chad can write tomorrow I'll play till at least midnight. All right, I'll be back Back in black. What did I miss? Oh, she didn't shout about his glory from the rooftops. So we are mortal enemies What was your favorite j-rod? Hey ty So that's just the future in the day. All right, let's get some action adventure going on here Where are we going? Like what was next? Uh-oh non-hostile I'm guessing I go to this door over here Inventory. I ain't gotten there Oh Hang on here. Okay. I'm trying to I unlock something for my gun cool Cool Let's see here. Oh, it's already. Okay. It's already installed Mutator. All right What up forward? It's gonna play boy play boy. He was your gnarled-ass cane. You look ready to face anything Showly is ready to see what's down there with me showly is Then let's not waste any more time this way You're gonna get up. All right ammo box after the root arrived. I mean nation was abundant I didn't get a chance to read that. Oh, that looks clean Don't close that door after us smells like home uh What home smell like mold and sewage take this okay Just crank the handle to make it work. Oh, I got a light finally This used to be a research facility cutting edge We did things down there. Nobody dreamed of Not before nor since well, you know what they say You mean to be kinky. We didn't know what the stones really were Until it was too late the stones The world stones Giant red crystals that let us see into other worlds Even traveled you time at the forbidden strawberries. We just hide the stones away and hope the sobiets haven't found It's always a soviets always We had to know everything there was to know about them Yo, Kate is clean national security of pride so Yeah, something was waiting on the other side show was inhabitants of the worlds we traveled to I haven't read that one yet. Derek We thought we were safe, but yeah after that Locked, huh? Well This is my house. Come on. I gave Ellen a few things to hang on to in case of emergency Yeah, she must have hidden it around here somewhere All right, hang on I Where's my oh controls there it is I need to know what my melee is Interacts camera scope I'm gonna sprint Dragon heart alt mode. Oh, yeah a moat will All right. So is it Is it just trigger without aiming? Yeah, okay. All right. Oh, I like that Unca bunga me like unca bunga Yeah Hang on dude. You know, I gotta look around Wait, this is where I just came from Show enough it show enough it Sorry, mr. Bridges. I'm coming back She already got a pipe on her All right, let me look around real quick. Ah, here we go Oh, oh, I found me a Matchbook new We call it a dragon heart. All right Don't ask why Bro, where'd you go? You're just you're just a disembodied voice now. Hello cousin I don't know where you are Where'd you go? Where'd you go? Where'd you come from? Where'd you go? Where'd you come from conaggio? Where is he? Okay I gotta open the door for you. Isn't it ladies first? Surely got a big old pie Surely got a big old boot. Hey take a look at that match book you found All right match book quest item sounds like there's something sliding around inside Either a single heavy match or something else Matches coins goddamn fruit juice Remnants of the old world now You don't realize which you don't realize what you're taking for granted until it's gone. Look at that match book. I am shut up Jeff I often wonder if our children will ever see that world again Oh, let's get this door unlocked. Who would have guessed that was a key? This thing has to be a hundred years old or more How has it not broken or gotten lost? That's a good question Can something so small really provide access to an entire forgotten world? The woods went a mistake It was the secrets that were Oh, I know why we had to keep them. Hell a century's gone by and I still keep some of their secrets I'm reading bitch. That's what I never broke the habit But secrets turn into lies and lies always come back to bite you Need a big to do just about a key. I'll probably never use again The world stone yes Or part of it anyway Every shards is useful as the whole We shut it down after harsgard died like I told ellen at the time The damn thing's more dangerous than useful. I'd be a good voice actor. Thanks for it I tried a couple times I don't I don't read aloud so well, so I have to memorize my lines and my memories bad Work to do what exactly? Oh, there's a forbidden for strawberry right This is the sacred butt plug Only one person has been able to fit it journeys Oh to bury this place not just lock it away, but get some explosives and bury it in a tomb of concrete Oh, the lip syncing is great too Thanks, j-rod I got jiff bridges killed. I'm sorry What a good Do I even want to System failure is imminent. The core has been compromised. The utility is required Commencing acquisition utilities in this economy. Oh no She finna get snatched Hold on girl. Use some of your psychic 11 by bitch. She's about to get sucked into the butt plug. No Clementine get your psychic ass back here Don't you do it Here we go. Here we go. I want to shoot something. I want to shoot something Tip it's just a tip. Why it looked like a penis, too Why why Why does it look like a dong looks like fire giants? But someone It was johnny hawkins and slone kettering and they were blazing this shit every day I just saw a name kettering earlier today. Bruh, this looks good Surely got inhaled by the world's largest butt roach Do look like a roach though That's one painful talk All right, here we go. Oh, look, we got a whole ass door up here. Hey there Nope, I need a key Y'all saw that one coming didn't you? I can yeet myself off here like they let you See, okay What the careful What the hell is you doing? Look, they even put the big they put the fire giant dong up here on the map. That's so nice of them When she says you got that hot bee Don't eat yourself. I tried not to but I almost did Oh, no, oh, no, I don't think so Oh lord All right, we need I hit the I'm trying to do dark souls jumps Oh, no ma'am That's what I thought cousin Don't you know I am dark souls alumni Don't you know that mess with me get dealt with Yes, Jesus All right, y'all we need a vote. Where are we gonna go? Uh, that's left That's straight and that's right. Where are we going? Where are we going the tree sentinel seems weaker on this one? Oh, he's going to come alive Where are we going y'all vote? Bro, this game is gorgeous I like it a lot right left and center Yes, sir You paid for the game you get your way Oh, look, they've been doing coke up here Hello Ain't nothing but pots Oh, can I break the pots? Yeah So I like I wonder if a old dude would have any easier had I used my sword also, can I I Too soon I don't think so Coke on the left cooking cracking All the green pot on the right Bro, give me some I'm gonna need some health How much ammo I got 12 and 29 I got a feeling I'm supposed to be using my Okay, I am supposed to be busting these Dragon hearts are my health, right? This feels like a trap iron relic dust Hello Hi What'd you say next Derek center cooking crack? You know In a color green pot on the right god I don't know we're here All right the next fool we uh, we bump into we're gonna try and take them Left then center. All right, so the outside then in all right Man, I don't like y'all you're gonna come alive I know y'all gonna come alive. Where you at thicken? I know this crucible nights in here somewhere I hear you Bruh the sound in my headphones right now Where are you? Can y'all hear that You're probably gonna need your headphones, but He over here mad as hell Oh, you stagger. Oh, yeah. Oh, no Oh I screwed up What? That was bullpucky Y'all that was some bubkus y'all saw me dodge that didn't you? Oh, oh here we go if this account is found I will surely die But I love my empress Whatever happens to me The truth must be written down for her sake I who write this Am a thane keeper one of many My existence has been devoted to caring for the tree of life and through it the empress and her immortals Few know the hearts of both the thane Thane and the empress Hang on And empress not the okay few know the hearts of both the thane and empress genus better than I What she did She did for love Yeah, I I know I I know I dodged that like I was in mid role when that fool hit me Can I oh I can okay It began with the visit of the krell's Paxil tech king although the war between pan and krell ended years ago Rating parties from both worlds continued to attack the weak and defenseless Our truce was a sham And our people still suffered why why'd the music kick on like right at the perfect moment? So it was that the Paxil tech king came through the door from their world to seek an audience with the empress and genus Our gracious ruler gave him this audience and listened to his tale The goblin king told a tale of sorrow of a terrible cyclops who had demanded tribute of the krell's youngest daughter It had long been this way That was the reason the king had called the truce in the first place But after years of fruitless attempts to save his daughter The king came to empress genus as a desperate father seeking a boon The krell he said have ancient stories if I can turn the page the correct way Ancient stories of other worlds stretching back even to the times before the pan had sailed the dark sea Those stories drew them to yasha in search of the tree of life But their tales said nothing about the pan and the krell were surprised at our resistance and had to revise their estimation of our people They came seeking life not war and they were as surprised as we were But the king did not come before our empress asking for the fruit of life He saw a means to destroy his enemy And save his daughter He spoke of secrets that only the thane keepers knew of deep caverns where the roots of the thane Wend and wind into yasha's belly and sprout a very different kind of fruit For the thane not only produces the beautiful fruit that gives the immortals life But also a gnarled gourd that gives certain death The goblin king begged genus for this twisted fruit Please He said My daughter is all I have loved In return he swore to destroy the painting connecting Our worlds thus ending the war for good genus was wary of course, but also moved by the king's sorrow After two days and two nights of consideration She summoned him and said none of us swim alone Take what you need and go It was love that moved her hand for that is who our empress is She could not have foreseen what would happen Hours after the gourd was plucked and the goblin king returned to his world A single leaf fell from the branches of the tree that never changes More have fallen since slow and seldom, but they are the first to fall in the thane's lifetime And they will not be the last The thane is dying Many do not want to believe for the thane's life is the pans But as one who has spent my life communing with the tree Who knows its song by heart I can tell you with certainty that it is true And I am equally certain of what will happen next The fruit will fail Her majesty will grow afraid afraid to lose both life and power For who would not be? She will hoard what fruit is left like the norbear hoards its bread It may be tens even hundreds of years before any but thane keepers and empress know the truth But when the others learn there will be war I know this as I know the beating of my own heart When that day comes let it be known that empress genus acted for the good of all peoples And that she could not possibly Have foreseen the cost I know not why yesha seems to have repaid good with ill But I know that our empress is now and always worthy of our love Well, that was a whole ass novels in there, but I didn't read a whole book. Oh, we got another one I was like I want to get back to the adventure, but We got words the sun Sister of the four the moon the warrior of life Life the ether and the matter of the four Death a great transformer of the four the doe the fleet footed incarnation of life The ravenger the feigned incarnation of death Lilo Dallas multi-pass The beginning for sun and moon described the skies the fermentement beyond that's some flatter shit Their whims will tell if tides are high or if the day has dawn words many words And fragile life must hang below a puppet on a thread And only choosing makes it so to live in joy or dread the calamity They called it the ravage ravager A beast with fur as black as sackcloth and teeth dyed red as blood It made no more than mutton of the bravest warrior Fear fell like night death roamed yasha There were those who would have slain the who There were those who would have seen the beast slain, but the ravager was never much glimpsed But that the doe should follow the green things. This is a puzzle The green things of the jungle sprang from the doe's feet And on what do green things grow if not the flesh of departed life? What would become of the doe if the ravager were felled? Definitely the longest book to read in any game I ever played What would become of yasha? For though they may struggle always their struggle serves the balance and keeps unharnessed death From above from descending upon us all unharnessed death That sounds very much like elven ring too But the sound design of this if you guys have on headphones Definitely If you don't definitely put them on because this is Really really good spice plums ingredients five wicks of cured norbear meat sliced into thin strips half cask a pressed sweet leaf syrup 10 golden plums one cask of water One third wick of the crystal Method step one in a dark secure location Place the crystal into the water and let set from sunset to sunset Be careful that no light escapes the location you've chosen else the ana ha and ahena ahene Ahene will descend upon you and arrest your entire household You are likely aware of this if you have acquired the crystal in the first place The ahene will use us to harvest but let us have none of the fruits Step two slice the plums lengthwise into thin coins Step three in a deep pot alternately layer of plums norm bear meat and syrup Pour in some of the crystal infused water with each layer being very careful not to let the water touch on your skin Continue until all ingredients have been used Step four cover and cook over a low flame until sunrise and don't worry Heat and time will reduce the water's cost costicity I can't talk leaving only a pleasant frequency Step five do not serve when the ahene are near Well, we just gonna be reading like novels up in this piece. Oh, oh, we got hot swag loot slice the plums and Leave my plums alone. I got more relic dust. All right, let's go. Let's go Thanks for popping in Chad. Nice to see you here tonight your boy is chillaxing The no bear and the brilliant In the time before the immortals a no bear and a brilliant were trapped in the middle of the sea Clinging together to either end of a plank of wood Neither could swim and land was nowhere to be seen Hmm small plums are delicious I put my headphones on my puppy. He was not a fan The no bear had a single loaf of bread that it had rescued It took several bites of the bread when the brilliant asked Will you please share some of your bread with me? I have nothing and we must work together to find land The no bear looked at the bread and became afraid At how little was left I couldn't spare only a morsel the no bear said For we do not know how long it will be before we are saved And the no bear tore a single bite of bread no larger than its nose to give to the brilliant All that day and all that night the no bear and the brilliant kicked in the water Traveling together as far as they could the sun rose and no land was to be seen The next day the no bear took another meal from the loaf and the brilliant said Will you please share some of your bread with me? Again the no bear looked at the bread and was wary For though the loaf was large There was even less than there had been the day before The no bear offered the brilliant another small bite Yesterday's work was hard the brilliant protested I am weak from the effort and we not shared equally For you have much and I have nothing This is a quote said the no bear For I am larger and require more to give me strength But we have done the same amount of work said the brilliant But the no bear was afraid and could not give up more Let us work together again Perhaps we shall find land today So the no bear and the brilliant swam for another day and another night But still no land was to be seen When the no bear ate the next day the brilliant said We have been out three days and your loaf is as large as when we began You have more than enough But if I do not eat I will die The no bear looked at the loaf and thought the brilliant foolish For though it was large there was clearly less than there had been the day before If I share equally Thought the no bear it will only last a few more days But if the brilliant eats a little it will last for weeks Surely I can find land in that time You must not be greedy The no bear said it loud If we work hard we will soon find land and then you can have all the bread you want The no bear gave the brilliant another small bite and they swam together for another day and another night When the sun rose the next morning the brilliant did not ask for more bread and the no bear was thankful What's more as the no bear finished its morning meal It looked to the horizon and cited the peak of a mountaintop The no bear shouted in triumph. Hey, you see We have done it together But the brilliant did not see the brilliant was too weak to even speak It closed its eyes lay down its head And slipped off the plank into the sea The plank became unbalanced and one end tipped high into the air With a cry of panic the no bear fell into the sea as well Leaving only a plank and a loaf of bread atop the water The moral None of us swim alone All things are connected to all things Sounds like the witcher audiobook hang on the character voices are great, but one of these guys is definitely a stoner I could be but that's what Derek and Jayrod said too, but I mean I'd I choked really easy when it's like for money Oh, we got at least one more and then we then we hit up the middle All right Here we go A rapscallion in a scoundrel. Yes Where do I begin? It has been my life's pursuit to bring ink to paper And yet I'm at a loss Facts I'll begin with the facts And that means I must begin with the plague Colt Kett was on the throne His enemies in their graves Coin drink and good times were available to all his subjects Then one day Rumors began to circulate a pan falling sick in the outskirts of Ang Foran Overnight shops and guilds and major settlements began begin to shudder Before we know it everyone knows someone who knows someone who died There are whispers that his blood is all paid to fate The price of Colt Kett's many wars The bill due for his victorious body count Weeks later We all know death. We all know one who is the last of his line We are the lucky ones they say but there's no end in sight The world is poisoned to us now and that's when Colt Kett tells us Of the ships No one who has sailed beyond the horizon has returned from the dark sea Fools call it the edge of the world Concept that seems ridiculous For would not all the water rush off the edge of the day they go and haul in a flat earth earth This is hilarious But for for all we knew for but for all we know they're right Yet we cannot stay here At last I know what it is. I am writing a chronicle of the last voyage of the pan There was no one to There was no one to wave to on the shore But for one pan's tear drenched wife already the boils were appearing on her So there was no chance of her joining She wept and gnashed and kissed the air and Not four bodies away from me her spouse ran with salt tears nearly sufficient to float the vessel It was not an auspicious departure I made straight for the dining deck Thinking to beat the crowd only to learn how average my reasoning the entire crowd had the same thought We each shoulder to shoulder at benches the first day's meal was serviceable even flavorful How long can such a luxury last? Forgive the holiday and my diligence The last nine days have been a blur of adjustment Learning the service schedule learning to serve learning how to go from serve to servant and back as the day's turn Learning to sleep cheek by jowl for there is no privacy in the rest hold No one thought to bring curtains Most nights I find myself on deck An extra extra blanket so far keeps the chill off and I drift to sleep looking for the Looking for the stars. I know the fog Forbids me to see I never thought I I never thought I'd long to see a stone some clay a bit of sand But now I would tray my beloved second blanket for a glimpse All around is gray black water and the midnight fog for whose sun strangling effect the sea is named The noonday light is barely twilight and the nights are dark as the tombs of those we left on home shores The ones who have tombs the ones who have tombs At times I think of those who had not yet succumbed succumbed by our departure Of the woman who wept for her beloved on the pier's Does she lie uncovered beneath the indifferent sun as mercilessly bright on her clouded eyes As it is dim upon ours or did the last pan see herself to the tomb And pull the stone shut with her final breath What is the point of persisting in this world word whatever juggling when each day is the same When this voyage through gray purgatory has become one long endless day Perhaps to dead are the lucky ones Worst yet perhaps we ourselves died and this is what comes for those aboard these vessels The thought chills me in a way no second nor third blanket could forbid My god, it is hard to believe how much time has passed when I look at the early leaves in this volume It is harder still to believe that the pan who wrote those words ever made peace with this voyage We have all gotten used to eating the fruits of the ocean strange fish Seaweeds and crustacea Which we might have called delicacies back home are now breakfast lunch and dinner Some enterprising young soul has even figured out how to make a pudding of sorts by torturing the seaweed with the right heats and magics I am digressing the point I wish to make is that I cannot say if we will ever reach our destination I commit this sentiment to paper now But the first but the thought first struck me some 300 moons ago I simply never had the courage to set it down In fact, it was the one thing That made me consider Fleeing myself from the deck Or even out the great lock Like our few unfortunate criminals But no more This is a life of sorts for life is For life is other pan For life is other pan whatever here on the sea. We are together on home shores We were being torn apart It is all and who knows Tomorrow's daybreak I may spot land Dang man, these books are longer than all mine put together. Yeah They do be chunky they do be chunky though Can I can I eat my stuff? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about All right We back on that bullshit. We back on that bullshit. Here goes center I got full health Oh, no, I can't go down there. It looked like something I could do All right. Where's the next chunky boy? Come on thicken Come on. Oh, uh-uh. I don't trust these corners Let's see what kind of Combos I got That's a lot quicker than I thought That's enough words for the year. Yeah Wait a second. Wait a second here This seems like I just want to make sure This door don't open. Ah, no, I should have went back. Okay. All right Uh-uh Who you knock of uh-oh Uh-oh This a boss fight. I know a boss fight when I see one Yo, I need to go back and check for loot Yo I can't take four of them some bitches on it one time This is one of those dark crystal homies It's I'm about to get I'm about to get slaughtered. Y'all do realize that. Oh damn All right, Skrillex. Hey, I got the name right. It's Paxiltec Who you con Brings the Paxiltec to her court And sir, but eternal life is not the same as eternal patience Did you just call me it? Oh werewolf with osteoporosis looking as I am not an it I'm a she Oh, bitch. I'm gonna rip that headdress off your head and shove over never mind I'm looking for my friend. Her name is clementine. Have you seen her? Call me it one more time And destroy your Paxiltec ever You know for it Such a man you know for No, I ain't gonna apologize calling me it Looking like cycle of the werewolf 90 years later There is no name more cursed in these royal halls When the pestilence came ford succored the schismatics. He did what to the schismatics to ruin Indeed Her majesty would see ford blade would see all Paxiltec put to the blade But the Paxiltec prowess is fearful She did voice acting for dark souls. I can't remember which one in her eternal wisdom Will grant it booties Like a palette Life in exchange for another Um, I don't want to know not interested you infind to kill any of my homies. There ain't many of us left Ah What should I do guys put it to a vote First person to pop up gets it Am I uh say that sounds fair. I'm listening not interested Have you been taking your Paxiltec today? It does it does sound like a drug. I ain't gonna lie Sounds fair. Oh, hi Use it euthanasia Who the true enemy though For it has not the guide to see beyond her returns to the same world Different notes different parts Same took a turn the Paxiltec see this knowledge of its Clemenchi This knowledge is neither gift nor reward and yet Arrives as books to acquire her eternity Rates It must prove itself I said call me it one more time if it to be on is what it fin to be Doesn't seem like I'm much of choice. That's not the deal. I'm asking for I won't kill for you Oh Yeah, I'm not gonna kill for these furry motherfuckers Uh-oh before eternity Uh-oh Run. I'm sorry. I didn't I picked the right Uh, I'm dead Yep, I'm dead. I'm talking about the gangbang. Here it comes No, it's not. Oh bitches All right, I think y'all I think I picked the wrong uh the wrong thing I hate viking have a good night. Oh, I died no matter. Okay, never mind I wonder what happens if you beat them though Because I had I taken had I not run away and taken so much damage. I probably could have taken Fine wait all you want. I'm not going anywhere Really wait what the crone your interpreter know because those guards seem to follow your orders pretty well Get sassy Empress once she was truly non your tough Ageless or so they say when the dame tree died The highborn all began to age Eventually she to succumb to the touch of time my presence on the throne is but a concession to her venting She's not the only one aging. How do I get out of here? I ask only that you stay a moment and give ears to my entreaty Give ears. Is that like a euphemism or something? You Did you say heal like me and what oh, okay I have no idea what's going on, but I'm a dark souls vet. So Fair I have some questions. Well, I guess I owe you one I'll see what I can do no promises Let's do some questions Why do the children of red dough want the monster dead? That god was slain and his power miss is that what happened in the first game mark this song concluded The children of the red dough. He'll only a bridge We believe the essence of our god is undying. It is trapped now in the abomination But if the monster falls we believe it will find a new vessel How do you know the power won't you dissipate now? Let's do what kind of vessel Yeshia has two patron spirits Immortal opposites one is the ravager. Okay. I know about the ravager. I heard about him Yeah True true. That's what homie said The red dough who runs the fields and streams even now the green things spring up in her footsteps Oh, I kind of like the commie When the god spark is freed our faith will dine it to a home home in her How do you know the power won't just dissipate the moss and mushrooms grow When the beast is hunted the people eat nothing is ever truly gone It is thus with mouse or mare tree or tulip it only stands to reason that it should be so with the god spark There's the god spark the all spark How did you become double for the empress so she she's on that Padme bullshit, right like she She's pretending to be the empress, but she ain't the empress like all of Padme's like You know them chicks, you know what I'm talking about Uh the prequels star word Service hand service, you know, yeah figure someone catch on The Empress doesn't seem like she'd want her Handmaiden running a rebellion I just realized something She ain't got osteoporosis like that other chick I just realized that I thought that was like part of their like character model But she's set she stands up straight Gee, I can imagine why Who bit her fruit up and eat me Cass's fruit is sweet her neck must be hella strong That adds me something you got that right Got a net like a steel girder. What's your real name, huh? Sorry, what Zoe Zonae I missed that are you the leader of the children of the red dude That sounds complicated I'm all about gradual I hate getting just thrown into things. Anyways, okay. I think I know enough Yeah, I'm impressed in how many of these names I got right while I was reading that's wild. Okay, so up is Bruh, oh, look at that horny devil Looking for a strong Throat go All right, here we go Hello. Oh, no, we're ticking It's ticking gonna kill me. I can jump over that to my death. Can't I? The lies not in freedom from death But in harmony with life Put the manifest one to rest Free the God's part Okay, am I supposed to fight my way out of here. I'm wondering I gotta say she way back there, but still loud We got hidden hidden uh illusory walls. No, okay Bruh, I don't like these dudes stomping around Like do I Sorry, I do not want to come around a corner and Catch one of these fools What just happened? Here I'm come too soon too soon Oh lord, I'm getting my ass. Well, okay Oh, shit. All right. God damn. Oh, she he got a two hit. I gotta get Yeah, damn is right. I gotta I gotta work on my uh my combos either that or I gotta start using my gun It's awfully close in here though. No, I can't knock that over Uh definitely got to work on my timing Man, I feel like I'm missing stuff I also really dig the fact that I can hear I can hear them around me oil broadsword Bitch. What? Let let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me Where's my inventory? Wait a second character Whoa, there it is Ah Oh, this is better, stagger modifier. Man, this is, my starter weapon is better than that. Man, that makes me mad. Uh, down, down, baby. Don't shit on my rainbow, choo choo rider. Ready to let it go. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa, what, listen to me now. Take a puff, it's not enough. Pass it to me now. I know these are the wrong words. Don't get started. I've been singing it like this since I was a kid. Or since that song came out. Cracked weak spot damage? New relic. Daddy like. So we got weak spot damage. All right, so what, we need to figure out what Thicken's weak spot is. Cause I got a feeling I've just been hitting them in the wrong places. Haha, you can't fool me. I'm a Dark Swoles player. I always, I always slow with that one. Whoa. Oops. Okay, gotta go back up. I am, shit, how did I get up there? I'm back here, computer. Wait a second. Wait, I can't get back up there? Or can I? Ah, there we go, okay. Cause I never did get to check out what's down here. Man, this joint is confusing as hell. No. Ooh, we got a, ooh, we got a nice chest. Ooh, cracked ammo pickups. What's that do? Damn it. Stop. Ooh, more ammo pickups. All right. I got a feeling I'm supposed to shoot more than anything else in this game. What, is this really just a dead end? No illusory walls. All right, well, oh, oh, I knew it. Oh, cool. So, okay, so I'm back. Guys, I made it back to the, I made it back to the area I was at before. I only have one more heal though. Definitely looks like a whole ass boss battle. Yeah. Okay. Y'all ready to die? We might be here until midnight. I don't know. Okay, nevermind. Nevermind, we good, we good. Resting at checkpoints for Clintus's ammo and relics at the cost of respawning all basic enemies in the world. In multiplayer, resetting also spawns any fallen allies. All players must be using a checkpoint in order to rest. Let's go back to, yeah, let's go back to Ward 13, spend some of this money we earned before we continue on Playboy Playboy. A lot, I barely understand half of it. Yeah, me too. Forward activated the stone here. Something pulled Clementine into the stone so I went after her. Yeah. Where is she? Is she okay? I don't know. I'm gonna actually find her. I don't know, I've been looking for her. I just haven't found her yet. I need to resupply. She needs a lot to get everybody together. If she went through the world stone, she could be anywhere. You were a lot more light-skinned than I thought you were going to be. In the shadows, you look much darker. Don't think you're nearly as handsome as I thought you were. Don't worry, I've got this. It's my fault with Ford, I'll find her a bow. Thanks, I could use all the help I can get. Yeah, it's my fault, I guess. No, I get that. World is literally in the title. I'll tell him to, it's a miracle you came back. No, I gotta trust you, it's like you said. You said, is that all right? All right Chad, have a good night. I'll see you in the morning, man. Yeah, don't worry, I'll find her. I understand, any help you can give me is fine. Yeah, she's... Who flies you need? Oh, I plan to. The leader's place is always with her people. I thought she was just taking a dig at her grandfather for leaving. I think I'm starting to understand her better now. Hey, okay, before I do the next dialogue option, do you guys want me to take a break and then play for another out? Well, play until midnight? Or do you guys wanna stop it now? Oh, she's doing great. Can't keep her down, really. Soon as she heard he disappeared with the Founders, she was on her feet. Nothing at Doc's side would stop her. I don't know what she was doing all that time. Looking for you, maybe. Keepin' herself busy. All that anxiety first turned out to be pretty helpful. All right, Derek. She even set up shop over toward the entrance gate. You should go see her. She don't show her, but she's worried sick about you. I was talking about leaving, but never does. I've seen that before. Yeah, I know what you meant, Lazy. I wasn't thinking like, you can totally just continue on, bitch. Why is the world stone out here? Missing. Briggs and I went looking for you. Found a stone floating, glowing like the old days. Did I get your voice right, Lazy? Just kidding. I don't know if anyone who came through right away turns out that was the right choice. Who knows how long it would've taken you to get out of that old world. Man, you got it. Come on, guys, tough it out. You said this isn't your first experience with the world stone. Where did you think Clementine was before I told you? Aren't you worried about Ford at all? Yeah, I don't give a fuck about Ford. She's gone. Didn't know she was that gone. Clown takes off in time and time, you know? It's just, it's just her way. She'll disappear for hours, sometimes days at a time. I'm not juice, I'm not juice from the sun. You can take care of yourself, yeah? Look, wait a minute. God damn it. I'm missing shit there. God damn it, man. This ain't your first experience with the world stone. A long time ago, when the root was still everywhere, I helped the wanderer get to the oldest ward somewhere out past the furnace. Right, right. And that's the thing about the world stone. Didn't give you any idea where you are or how you got there or got used to it. I know who the wanderer is. That's the main character from the first game. Sounds exciting. That truth be told, that wasn't much more than an escort messenger at the time. Yeah, the wanderer did all the real stuff. Bettered the ward, fought the root, fought Clementine, bettered the most. Anything could come out of one of these things. I'm only picking this dialogue option because it might give me some kind of info I need. The founder's his own thing, ain't he? It's not the first time he's disappeared on us. Not even the fifth time. Commander Ford, the founder's granddaughter, used to say relying on the founder was like running a cross for a while. You could do it for a while, but sooner or later... You let you down because you're at the ball. I'm like, go that far, but there's always more of like... Man, then fire physics in the back are actually really fucking good. When I was a kid, everyone thought he'd been dead for years. That's the thing about the stays gone. A week, a year, a decade, his friends is way back here. Gotcha. I'm gonna go ahead and take a break, Drake, and we'll be back. Y'all keep each other busy. Kind of off topic, but am I the only one who realized Handmaid's Tale is just Harriet Tubman's biopic genital? Damn. Damn. All right, then. I mean, damn. Good luck. Upgrade weapon. Damn. Derek with the deep thoughts. You been hitting that ganja there, bro? Got to seeing you again. I'd like to upgrade my equipment, kind sir. Can I please upgrade my equipment? Let's see here. Ooh, I'm 10 more, 10.5 more damage. Nah, we gonna go with this. Yes, sir, yes, sir. Thank you, my friend. Yep. Reward my time, traveler. Well, I'm, but... Let's have a look. Okay, I can't, bye. I'm sorry I couldn't buy nothing off you. How much moolah I got? $294? Where's dude that sells the good goods? What do you, what? Hey, Cass! Oh yeah? Yeah. Yeah, I care about you. Sweetest rhubarb pie, ain't you? Where have you been? You wanna taste? I said you ran off with that old Ford fella and disappeared. I helped Ford into some buried, rusted place so he could reactivate this old crystal. Clementine got taken by something and I went after her. I kinda went to another world, yeah. A while ago, I had to punch you in the gut for a joke like that. It ain't a joke! I've heard some weird shit since then. I think even some of that old kumatu's tales might be true. Feels like anything can be true here. They even healed my root rot. I tell you what, I might just start believing in buried tales. Even Santa Claus and Fulton's blend. What's, oh, Fulton's blend of coffee. So you're all better, you look great, they really cured you. I'm just glad you're up in a boat. What's in that stuff Doc Norah gave me? But I ain't felt this good for years. Hell, maybe it was Fulton's blend. Uh, here's Taylor. Oh, damn. Third eye open. You do you, bro, you do you. Ruin's around here. Turns out there's still all kinds of useful crap if you know what you're looking for. And I do. I was just doing what I do to survive, you know. Maybe get some things together for when we moved on. But then you didn't come back. How long was I gone? Bo said folks around here could use this stuff. So I set up shop. So hey, if you ever need anything out there in the worlds or whatever. She says, let me know. World. I got all kinds of stuff for trade. All right, uh, iron, I don't need it. I don't need any time. I don't know where to find me. Your high ass thinking deep thoughts. My high ass barely can stay awake. Well, we're almost done anyways. I'm gonna play until midnight. Hey. Welcome back sunshine. What a good. Short thing. Yeah. This is a corrosion. Rims removes effect. Okay. Extinguish is burning. Regenerates 1.5 health. Stops bleeding and restores all gray health. I don't know if I need this stuff yet. So, okay. Fine, man. Okay. All right, we go. Hey there, friend. Hey. You got scrap. I got you covered. Reduces incoming damage by 10% ammo box. Reclinishes all reserve ammo. Ooh, that might be that hotness. When thrown explodes in a four meter radius dealing 165 damage and applying bleeding. Ooh, that all sounds good, but I don't wanna waste my money on something that I'm most woke when I'm barely woke. All right, well, we're gonna go ahead and run off. We're gonna run off and do at least one more section or try to get to a boss or something. The withering, what? There's something else in here. Well, it certainly feels like, let me go back. Cause I think, hang on. There was more of an area to go to, wouldn't there? Hang on. Yeah, this is where I was. And there was a way over here. Yeah, let's go. All right, I was just making sure it wasn't a thing. See what's over here, if anything. That is nothing but death. All right, moving on, moving on. Well, hello there. Y'all ain't shit though. Oh man, I can hear noises. Everywhere. What is that? I thought so. What? What was that? Bruh. All right, we got hot swag loot over there. Stone of balance. Increases all damage by 7%. Hell yeah. Let's get it, kid. Oh wow, there's so many places to go. Derek, I think you're gonna love this, man. This game's hella fun. It's fluid as hell. This is where I just came from, right? Yeah, there's the gate. All right, let's go back. I can't wait to play with you too. It's gonna be fun. If I get the money, I might buy my son a copy too. Uh-uh. Not invisible, shits. Well, you weren't invisible for long, were you? Whoa. That's it? Was that it? Damn, that's hard to hit. More bad news. Let's go up here first. This feels like a trap. Definitely feels like a trap. Maybe not. Man, I love the particle effects in this. Okay. Whoa, okay. Oh, he does. Okay, it's AOE damage. And gun ammo. Okay. Well, that was a bad idea. All right, I gotta remember, I gotta remember to keep an eye out for those, let's go this way first. Keep an eye out for the explodey things. All right, this is where I was, right? Yeah, okay. Going back. After a quick Google search, I learned there's apparently a lot of, ah, okay. I keep forgetting about these guys. I keep forgetting about the area of effect. God, those guys are beastly. Damn, it spat my ass. God, dang it, I keep switching. Okay. Whoa! Damn this dude. I keep doing it too late. You're itching to play it. I think I lost all my money. Man, this is only like the second area. I gotta lure these guys into, oh nevermind, you don't lose your, okay, that's the way to go. That's the way to go. Probably shouldn't have done that yet, but these guys have been tearing me to pieces. Close quarters, new perk. Perks. Where would the perks be? War Stomp. Creates a high impact tremor that deals, yeah, but how do I do it? Damage perk, grants a 3.5 increase to all damage to enemies within 10 meters. Damage bonus. God damn. Definitely not supposed to be. What? Any more health though. Yeah, I know. Damn it. Well, at least I know where I'm going now. Okay, good, I unlocked it. I can't get a second, yep. Come on. I know what I'm supposed to do. Okay. What, I've been dead. I've been dead for like 10 minutes. All right, I need to figure out how to use my liquid escape when consume the hero will be returned to the last activated checkpoint. Luminite crystal, glimmering with a warm glow. It invites light despite the darkness and danger that surrounds it. It's scarcity only adds to its value, making it highly sought after by survivors looking to gain an edge in the fight against the root. Your eyes slide off the globe like water. It's as if the thing prevents you from looking at it, feeling it, or even keeping its shape in your mind. Okay. Alt fire mode, dragon heart alt mode, aim, map, menu, shoot, dodge, switch weapon item two. Huh. I thought I had like a special attack or something, but I keep doing that too early. Get it again. How did that shit again? Get off the screen, bro. This is the first real boss. Dude, dude, whoopin' my ass, y'all. Whoopin' my ass. Let me go spend some coinage because holy shit. Area map, yeah, I know. Let's go back and try to upgrade a little bit more. Anybody want some grilled cheese, give me some more. Yeah, upgrade weapon. That's what I need. I got to see you again. Uh-huh, 72 damage. I got enough to upgrade both of them. All right, seems like, can I, I can't upgrade my, all right. I got one more try in me and then I'll try again tomorrow night. Or tomorrow, whatever. Who keeps shooting me? What is on me? Oh, root rot, wonderful. What, what? Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, I know not good. Damn it. Do I have anything for, I don't have anything for this root rot. I guess I just let myself die because how am I in combat? Oh my God. Yeah, I know. Okay, so root rot is a huge issue. I can do one more. I can't even see. Oh, I'm root rotted again. Yeah, I know you're in trouble. Why didn't this ever happen to me before? Oh, come on. That is an annoying ass status effect. Yeah, yeah, come on. This is stupid. This is stupid. This is too stupid. I can't do anything. It won't let me reload. It won't let me do anything. Yeah, yeah. All right, guys. That's enough struggle bussing for tonight. This game is obviously made for more than one person. I can't handle the people behind me and in front of me and all around me and root rot and everything else. This is, that's ridiculous. Anyways, thanks for watching me struggle bus. Hope you guys have a good night. But until next time. All hail the chair. Bye, Derek. Bye, Ty. Bye, Lazy. Bye, whoever else is in here.