 Hey there, friends! How's it going? My name is Kevin and I don't know why I'm smiling because I have quite an addiction to confess. It's actually one of my most shameful things in my life that I have kept secret from you and I'm ashamed to say that, to be honest. It's, uh... God, I'm gonna break down. I had an addiction to League of Legends. I know. I'm sorry. Don't judge me, okay? My family will already disown me now that I'm coming out about this. My dad is a Teemo main, by the way. I may as well just get it all out on the table. Joking aside, and I don't mean to joke about such a serious topic, I have played a lot of League of Legends in my days. I've not played it at all on this channel. I haven't played it for many years, to be honest, before this whole lockdown thing. And I found myself going back in time, playing a lot of Call of Duty in the war zone, I mean, which I used to do a lot when I was young. Playing a lot of Civ 6, I played a lot of Civilization before as well. I haven't played in a few years, and then I finally came back to League of Legends, which I thought would never happen again. I hadn't played it in years. In fact, I played a lot of League of Legends. It's probably my most played game ever. I played 23,558 minutes, which is 393 hours, or 16 days, which is the equivalent of... What is this? Is it trying to shame me? A 65 books read. 224 movies watched, or 1,571 kilometers watched. I wonder if they're averaging out the times there. Like, movies watched, is that like 224 Lord of the Rings movies, or is it 224 Paul Blair Mall Cop movies? Because if it's Paul Blair, I feel like you can get more watches in there, and it's really starting to make me regret not just watching Paul Blair repeatedly. Well, now I'm depressed. I didn't feel a thing. But you know what? If among us has taught me anything, enabling my addictions makes you happy, because we're gonna play some League of Legends as a one-off video, you know? Just one more fix, and I'm done. So if you're not that familiar with League of Legends, I'm gonna try and break it down a little bit for you. I won't go too much into detail. I don't want to bore you, but I want to explain the basics, so you at least understand what's happening. There's three different game modes. Summoner's Rift, which is a 5v5 game order where you pick a champion and you get kind of a roll. A-Ram, which is you get a random champion and you're all in one little lane fighting against each other, and this one, I don't know. So we're gonna start off with some Summoner's Rift, and I think I'm ready for ranked. Fun fact, as addicted as I am, and despite the fact that I've played 16 days of this game, I'm really bad at it, but we're gonna try our best anyway. What more can you hope for? If, you know, my 16 days has taught me something very valuable about online, and that's, if you are friendly online, people will be friendly to you. There is no toxic community. What the fuck is it with you, stealing my shit? Can you not answer the stupid fucking order? You told me to move it here. No, I told you to get the fuck out! No, you told me to move it here in Parking. You said you were plotting, and to put it right here for you. No! Come on... We're gonna be up to 17 days in no time at this rate. Oh, someone wants to play with me. They're gonna regret that. I mean, my teammates, by the way, not my enemy. They're gonna be delighted. Free win! Player has declined ready check. It's as if he could hear me. New people to play with. Okay, so I'm playing top lane. Hey everyone, a pleasure to meet... Oh, you. Hey, I can't. Sorry. What? What? Excuse me? I'm being very overly friendly in the hopes that I can get them all on my side before we even start. So then when I do bad, they won't flame me. So I'm just like, how is your day going? Which I know just sounds like small talk, but in the online world, that is like super friendly. Especially League of Legends. Like, that is friendly to the point people will think you're up to something. They're not answering me. Just like, please answer. I'm coming across a little needy. What, bro? How is your day? I'm okay. Great. I took a screenshot of this when I played like last week or something. Someone got a kill and then he was complaining that we didn't like move with him to get the kill. And I just said, lol, relax dude. Good job on kill. True. Sorry, mister. No problem. You're so nice. It's insane. Just for like, little small talk. Before the game, I was just like, hey everyone, nice to meet you. And they were all like, oh my god. Some kind of nice freak in here. Okay, so I'm this man. I'm a catfish. That's right. I'm not who I say I am. The real me is behind here. I'm just a puppet. Oh, sorry. Okay, sorry. Too real of a joke. Sorry. So yeah, I'm the catfish and I'm playing against this lady. She was who I was catfishing as. That was my profile picture. But this is the real me. But it's personality that counts and I got buckets of it. Look at that. Okay, off I go. So I'm playing in the top lane. I'm in a 1v1 lane. I like top lane because they just leave me alone. I'm up there and I don't bother anyone. I don't have to do any teamwork. I just stay up there and do my thing. Licking people. I don't know if he needs my help or not. I'm assuming he does. Like, he's trying to take this thing. He's her jungle guy who runs between the lanes helping people. But I don't know where he's going. I don't know what to do. Man, please. I've only played 16 days. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not doing this for you. Do it yourself. I'll lick it a little bit. Tastes like metal. The thing about my guy is no one plays him, but I love him. I love all the weird goofy champions and he's no different. But it helps when you play someone that people aren't really used to because they don't really know what he can do. And if you don't know what you can do yourself, that's an added bonus because everyone's surprised then. Oh no, I've got her in my mouth. Licker! Licker! Die! Oh my god, she got away! Oh my god, I'm so bad at games. That's okay. I'm sure my team will understand. I really thought I had her there. I threw one under the tower and everything. I knew I was going to die, but I thought I'd get her too. I'm very interested how many of you actually know what's going on and are angry and how many of you are just watching like catfish. Honestly, I'm more in the catfish kind of player anyway. Thing is, it's like the thing I mentioned earlier. I don't know what she does. I'm a bit confused and overwhelmed. Please stop doing whatever that is. I don't understand it and it's upsetting me a lot. She's zooming all over the place and hitting me and those are two things that I just hate in life. People zooming and people hitting me. Oh, wait, I'm winning. Oh, big shield and flash and yes! Haha! Look how good I look now. Now we just wait for the congrats to roll in from my teammates. Oh no, they're just complaining. Not about me though. That's just as good. Someone's coming, run away! No, she's going to do zoomie things. Oh no, thank god. I hate zoomers. Have I a zoomer? I never really understood that. Wait, how am I going into minus gold? Alright. I guess I took out a loan with a loan check. How is that? How does that happen? Dead limit minus 170? What's that? I don't understand. Alright, don't worry. I'm alting in. This is where I teach her a lesson. No, this is actually probably where she teaches me a lesson, isn't it? Uh-oh, uh-oh. Oh, Jesus. Oh, sweet Jesus. Go away from me. Are they fighting between themselves or are they berating me? Okay, yeah, no, they're fighting each other. They're too busy having a little civil war down there to notice how bad I'm doing. Look, I wanted to die. I was in massive debt. I wanted the debt to be forgiven, so I faked my debt to get out of my debt. I've got to be more positive so that they won't be angry when I feed. Feed means plays me, essentially. I've got to explain that it means dying repeatedly, but no, feed means you're playing like a Kevin. I don't know where the person is gone that's against me. It's making me scared, because if they get a kill elsewhere, my teammates are going to blame me, even though I keep saying she's not here. It's just how League of Legends works. You die, and then you hit Tab, and you go, okay, I'll blame this one this time. Just pick out a name, call out a random reason why it's their fault, and then you are absolved of your sins in your own mind, at least. Which is all that matters. I'm so glad I get to teach you how to play this game. I hope you're taking this all on board. You can't just stay under my tower and attack me. I'll do things to you, like this. I honestly, even though I've gotten them half health, I'm afraid I can't beat them. Yeah, you see, this is what I was afraid of. Oh, no, no, no, no, go away. Go away, please. Don't do this. They're coming. They're coming. I'm leaving. I am leaving. I'm getting out of here. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. There's lots of people in my lane. Oh, no. Oh, no. Everyone's here. Oh, God, they're attacking me. Die, please. Come on, die. Oh, for fuck's sake. I just teleported in, and everyone was there. Oh, this isn't good. I'm so glad they're fighting amongst themselves because they're not seeing the train wreck that is top lane. How are my teammates doing? Okay, we're all doing relatively bad. That's good for me. How in the world can I do anything if you int and then blame me for dying when you're the reason we are behind? Oh, Lee. I was about to say never change, but no, please change. So upset. I'm going to throw in a, hey, now, everyone, let's not fight. Just to try to calm things down. I did a smiley face, so they know I'm like not being snarky or anything. It's like the truth. Tom, just shut the f- That's just annoying as f- Okay. Sorry. I just said, okay, sorry in chat as well. Why do you got to be so mean to poor Tom Kench? I just want to lick people. Since when is that a crime? Oh, I'm fighting. I wonder, can I win this? I possibly can win this. Oh, how did he do that? Wait, hold on. Have we got him? I think we got him. We did it. It's mainly me. Oh, no. Oh, oh, yes. Oh, no. I don't know if this is good or bad. Oh, it's kind of both, I think. Yeah, it's kind of both, which is probably good because we're losing pretty hard. So the fact that we came out in a draw there is pretty decent. I'm just dropping in with the, hey guys, can we stop the swearing please? Like mid-fight. Yes, I went in a massive debt to afford this cool cape. Now I feel like an adult. Get in. No time to explain. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, no. Now let me in your mouth. Well, I died just because I ate my teammate. Constructive feedback is welcome, but not fighting. Nah. Okay. Just nah. I said, let's not fight, guys. He said, you say this now, bro. Really? I think he doesn't understand. I mean, like, let's not fight with each other. Let's not fight the enemy. Yes, 1,000 gold. Yes. I don't think my teammate are as psyched as I am. Also, you may have noticed there's a lot of, like, spamming question marks. So that means that someone's missing. Oh, no. They think I'm flaming. That means someone's missing from your lane to warn other people. But that's what players use to spam. If someone does something questionable and it's really annoying. He's asking for assistance. No problem. I'll assist you. Me. He wants the fam. You asked for assistance. Ah, that's close enough. He started fighting. So I just had to match my keyboard. Yeah, fight. Why not? Ezreal's just in the middle of, like, awkward. You're just two. Whatever. Oh, my God. He's having a breakdown. GG. Well played, everyone. Devil has left the game. Woof, woof, dog. Oh, God. We may have lost, but the real victory was sending this guy into a complete breakdown. I'm going to give Ezreal. Stay cool. Tiltproof. Chill. Finally, I found someone. I was like, good game. All of you really had an over there, lol. They're like, Tom, you're so nice. I like you. Haha, thank you. My team were very angry. Nice playing with you. Good luck next. Thanks. You too. Finally, human interaction. I was starved for someone to just be pleasant. All right. In second thought, maybe ranked isn't the place for me. Maybe I should try an ARAM match, where it just assigns you a random champion, and you just do your best, and everyone's friendly, because they understand that you may not get what's suited to you. Oh, I got an invite to something. Hold on. Sorry, guys. I'm very busy, awkward. Our boss is real. Stash, stash, stash, stash, stash, stash. Oh, man. Don't let the boss man get you down. Gotta go. He's coming back. Run. My heart and soul always for Demacia. Yes, Garen. He is most like me in the League of Legends universe. You want to know why? Because he's the most smooth brain of all the champions. You do literally nothing. You just go in, and you spam one attack that makes you spin in circles, and that's it. I got this skin by taking a lot of complicated items and getting rid of them, and then it gave me magic points to buy this one. And it plays a cool little tune every time you join. Oh, he's flashing. He's ready for the fight. He gives a little heart afterwards. Good move. I'm going to do a two. There we go. We're ready to fight. He's like dancing now. He's like, yeah, me likey. I think I found my people. Yes, fight to cool music. See what I mean? You just spin. Spin to win, as they say. Guys, that's pretty pog. I'm going to fight again. I'm running away. All my team are fighting now because of me, and I'm just fleeing. I bet he wishes he has that flash move to get out of this one. I'm ready to fight. Oh, I didn't get one of my abilities. God damn it. All right, there we go. Fixed. Oh, I'm dead. I think that's death via suicide, unfortunately. Oh, my God, I'm so slow. I only now realize this is the champion I was playing. He just has a skin on that I'm not familiar with. Look at him licking everyone. God, I wish that were me. Like doing the licking, not being licked. I don't know why I said that. That doesn't make the situation sound any bit better. Oh, my God, he's going for it. Yes, I did something. I'm doing stuff. Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, no. I died. All right, I got someone. At least. Phew. That'll save my KD a solid 1.0. All right, don't worry. I sense a come from behind victory here. I predict these things. Here we go. Here's our victory. This is where we start. Yes, I got a kill, and it's a shutdown. Oh, God, help me. Keeping that solid KD of one. It's what every human should have when they go out. No way. That means that you have to kill someone before you die. All right. No, I disagree with that last statement. It was a slip of the tongue. I wish I was playing Tom Kench again. I just want to slip my tongue all over them. That sounds bad out of context. But then again, it doesn't sound too good with context either. Oh, I think we're going to fight now. I love this Malphite. He reminds me of me. He's just going in when it's not a good idea and missing everyone. But not to fear it all worked out. I'm keeping my one KD ratio. You know what? My second most played game of all time, I believe, is Modern Warfare 2. And I think I hovered around the one KD. I'm hiding and wait. There we go. Here we go. This is where the real fun begins. Any second now, the fun is about to begin. That was pretty fun. Oh, here we go. This is where the fun begins. Let me have fun. Yes. That was fun. Wait, I didn't kill any of them. I hate this game. He just flashed again. Well, those of you who don't know, you get little summoner spells that like that flash, you kind of jumps to a different position. But the cooldown is pretty long and I'm like two and a half minutes. He keeps using it for no reason. I love him. Oh my God, my one KD is slipping. I'm losing the respect of everyone still watching. God, I really don't want to upset those 12 people. Here we go. Now the team is working together. Yes, and I killed someone. Got to earn back that one KD. I am a former esports award-winning captain here. I got to earn back the respect I deserve. Let's just not mention what game that I played in. Wait, an ally's been slain. Where was he? Oh, he went in there? Oh God, I didn't even see him. Oh no. We're doing the same school marching in one by one technique. Not the strongest of techniques. I'm going to be honest with you. Alright, not to worry. I'm back and ready to party. I don't like parties. Alright, I'm back and ready to party again. Yes, I hit it with a snowball. Come on, Kevin, you're one kill off keeping this one KD ratio you got going. I mean, everyone else on the team is negative. I'm the MVP right now. Oh no, don't fight yet. Oh no, he missed them all again. He loves doing that. It's this corky little thing. Wait, how did he get the kill? I thought I hit him last. Oh no, that was my one opportunity to recover my KD. That's game over, I'm afraid. GG, well played. You know what? I think this game mode that doesn't allow you to pick your champion isn't for me. I think I should be playing ranked. It's like I have instant amnesia. I've forgotten my past experience. I'm going to give Malphite the state cool, till-proof, chill. All right, I think I know what's been going wrong. You see, I've been trying to fight. I've been trying to be fighters the whole time and I'm a lover, not a fighter. As you can see throughout the video, I am the backbone of the team. I'm the support, the moral support. So I should be playing support role. So now I've got my best buddy Blitzcrank which I think was my most played champion when I used to play this game. Because he's just a lovable troll, which I can really relate to. He's got a little hook hand that I can pull people in with. Ah, fuck. If I hit them, that is. They're just like, dude, don't bother. Go back, go back. Having a lovely conversation when I missed him that gave me a smiley face. Sorry, no problem. You're going to get me. I sure hope so. Good luck. Have fun. Okay, this is the lobby I needed. Maybe it was just ranked was the mistake. I don't even know what this champion is who I'm playing with. Oh no. Look, I'm just going to ignore what they do. I'm going to focus on what I do, which is grab people. Except for that one a while ago. That was just a once-off miss. Every other grab I'm going to hit. Except that one. That was exactly after I said it. Why do we talk? All right, reset, Kevin. Your emotions are getting the best of you. Play League for one day. I just become depressed. Sounds about right. What? I thought that one hit. Oh, I'm upset now. Okay, three for three are misses so far. But you just wait. I'm going to pull off something that you're going to be just amazed by. Eventually. You know what I'll do to make this a lot easier on myself? I will get a hook and then I'll react and I'll edit it and put my confidence statement on front of the hook. And then you'll never know the difference. Yes, I did it. I did it. I died, but we got him. So that's pretty good. Oh wait, I need to react first. Here it goes. A once in a lifetime shot. I hope this hits because it's important for my team. Oh my God, that might have been the best play I've ever seen. I can't believe I called it before I did it too. Here we go. Yes, I did something. Oh, this is good. My team are going to hail me as a hero after this one. There it is. They said good job. It's all worth it. 40 minutes of misery. That one moment of happiness. I got a serotonin there. Here we go again. Oh, damn it. Yes, look at this. We're doing unreal now. Two down. How did her character know that? Oh my God. Games are so advanced now. They're becoming sentient. Oh God, of all the games, I do not want League of Legends to become sentient. Like if it's judging humans by the way they behave on League of Legends, it's 100% going to try and kill us all. I can't go into debt anymore. I think the loan shark has realized that I'm not good on my promises because I can't go into debt and owe the bank money anymore. Here I go. Wait, did I? What? How did they go invisible? I'm so confused. I hate invisibility. It's the worst superpower ever. Who would even want it? Everyone would just accuse you of being a pervert even if you didn't do anything. Get away from me, pervert. Oh no. Oh no. I died. You know what? I took the heat off my AD carry. I died with honor for once. Blue bot. What? I don't understand what that means. I'm just going to stay in the bush and hide from my problems. I'm coming to help you in the jungle. Oh, sorry. I'm coming for you, little dragon. I'm coming. I missed. Sorry. Goodbye. Oh no. This is where it all went wrong. Mr. DiCali, if you're trash talking, can we just nip that in the bud please? My son is watching and they gave me a lull. I don't even know what they're saying to be honest with you. They were just talking about something sidesteps. Oh, that was a compliment. Okay. Yes. We got a double kill. All right. That was a compliment. In that case, thanks. My son could learn a lot from you. They gave me an XD. Do you want him? Just giving away my son on League of Legends. Oh no. The guy is his role playing to be my son now. Please dad, tell him. This is the lane I needed. All right. There we go. Run away. Run away. Run away. Okay. Good. I just had to kind of bait them out. Yes. We killed someone. What was that? Who did that? Either way, it just missed me. Uh-oh. I did my parrot now. Just a little ping. Yes. Look at this pole. You see now the things are just going swimmingly. Like I may be dying a lot, but I'm setting up a lot of plays here. Oh, that's an enemy. Oh my God. Okay. Friendly teammate. I don't know what's happening. To be honest with you, all I know is big flashy noises and more killing. Get away from him. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I may have just sacrificed myself and it may or may not have been worth it. Yep. I think it was okay. He's going outside the map to escape. Who knows what's going on in this game most of the time. Maybe I didn't need to sacrifice myself if he could have simply left the game space. All right. You ready for the play of the century? Why am I saying this before I pull it off? We learned already. I hurt it. Oh, wait. No, I did it. Okay. This is good. Oh. I could have been really good. The teammate wants to surrender. Why? We're doing fine, I think. Who is Horus? That's the volleyball. Why? You're doing fine, lad. You're doing great. Horus, listen. You're doing grand. I highly doubt he's seeing himself. Man, I'm doing really bad this game. I better surrender. I have a feeling he's just like my teammate. Yeah, we're doing well. Good killings out there, guys. Who would surrender when you got teammates like this, right? Man, let's please stop saving her. Oh, my God. Everyone's impressed by my plays. That is my son. Thank you very much. Never talk to me or my son ever again. You're welcome. Thanks. I'm not sure what this conversation is anymore. In fact, that only qualifies as a conversation. Oh, no. Hold on. Oh, God. How did he go in and out using this? I'm so confused. How can he can use the ability twice? Leave this place. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, see how I baited them in there for my carries? One step ahead. Yeah. Got a shutdown and a kill for my carries. Just what his support does, really. Yeah, led to another kill, too. But it's whatever. I don't need any big deal about it or anything. Oh, no. I think I just adopted another child. I said, stop swearing in all caps. They said, sorry, daddy. I think this might be a loss again. No, never give up. Never surrender, though. Your son is bad, but shut up. What do you even mean by that? Oh, no. Stop. Stop. Stop this madness. Please leave my son alone. Well, that's the end of that. We should have gave up. We should have surrendered more of the story. Never have hope and never play League of Legends. All right. We are going to leave it there because more than three games of League in a day is medically a big questionable. There's been studies that it can actually damage you, I would assume. That's just what I feel. I'll see you next time, folks.