 For the safety of your smile use pepsidon twice a day see your dentist twice a year Lever Brothers Company presents the pepsidon show my friend Irma created by Cy Howard and Starring Marie Wilson as Irma with Joan Banks as Jane The power of man's mind for concentration is really wonderful a doctor for example may be deeply Concerned over his income tax, but when he steps into the operating room and puts on those rubber gloves You can be assured his mind is on his patient the same thing goes with a concert maestro No matter what when he reaches that podium his mind is on the score And so it goes right down the line everybody has their mind on something one time or another Even Irma Peterson the girl I live with her mind is always on a permanent vacation Now don't get me wrong I love the girl it's just that sometimes she Well for instance some of the phone conversations I over here are really incredible Take the other day Irma was on the phone and she said Hello, is this a general merchandise Mart? My name is Irma Peterson, and I'd like to return a return order number 242 at the ad in the dark, and I thought it said polo coat. I have no use for a pole cat See what I mean Well, maybe it's my fault maybe I should see that she gets out more and meets people and maybe she'd become a little more Sophisticated hey that gives me an idea honey. Yes, yeah, sweetie We're off work this weekend and the papers say the snow upstate is knee deep. Why don't we go me deep? But Jane that would cover my legs and Al says they're the nicest part of me Look Irma don't become a problem before we even start are you interested in going someplace or not? Well, of course. I am Jane or where would we go? Well is a little place near Albany called Scap a hatchet and Lodge Scap a hatchet and yeah, that's an odd name Well, it's of Indian origin according to an old legend on the spot where the lodge is an Indian chief through his beloved over a cliff and to this day. They say every night her ghost Dances around the fire. Oh, that sounds perfect. I always like a place with a floor show What kind of clothes do we have to take with us Jane? Well, it's a winter resort So take along everything you have that's warm your run your snuggies Irma act your age Wear your woolen suit and take along that rabbit line jacket. That should keep you warm. All right, Jane But I don't think it's real rabbit. Why not? Well rabbits are supposed to multiply, but every time I wear it in the rain It gets shorter I just made it out honey. Oh, Jane. Hi, you chicken. Oh You're the new Jane and all the chicken ain't got time to listen Just want you to wish me wish me luck because I got a guy waiting up the street who may back me in my newest deal And this one will ring my bell on what patrol wagon No, it's legitimate, please Jenny so excited. What's your idea? Well, it's an invention It's a big empty barrel nailed to a pair of roller skates So when a guy leaves the racetrack, he still's got something to wear and something to ride home it Can't stick around for any balls will be right back. Goodbye There goes America's answer to Ponzi Let's start packing for our trip. Oh, but Jane. I just happen to think what what am I gonna do thought out? I'll miss you. Look, sweetie, whatever we do. We do together Al just doesn't happen to fit in But I can't leave him behind here all alone. Why Al is just like a child Honey, you've got to stop thinking of Al as being a child just because he was once a juvenile delinquent And then Tell me me Professor Kropatsky Hello, Jane, you know my two little hot rods one rattling ahead the other with the head that rattles I Excuse me a little joke. I picked up from a used car salesman now retired Oh, Professor Jane, I are going away over the weekend. What the coincidence Mrs. O'Reilly is taking me on a trip to Philadelphia Well, how nice is there is there any romantic purpose? Oh, no, I think she's taking me along for protection Protection yeah, I believe they are still angry at her in Philadelphia if I'm not mistaken She is the one who dropped the Liberty Bell and cracked it Always kidding everyone knows that was Paul Revere Skip it Irma Professor does Mrs. O'Reilly have a family in Philadelphia? Yes, and it may surprise you But I understand that Mrs. O'Reilly has got a twin sister and that has got me worried. Why well I might have a drink in Philadelphia start seeing double and seeing four like Mrs. O'Reilly is enough to make a man say Oh Professor you don't mean that of course not Jenny, but I've never been to Philadelphia and despite the things I've said about Mrs. O'Reilly She's still very good company besides. I'll get a lot of free meals Tell me where are you girls going? Oh, we're going to a place out in the country just to get in the snow The snow I remember in the old country when it snowed Gipsies would sit around the fire and drink vodka to keep warm and we drink more vodka and more vodka And the more vodka we drink the warmer we get and pretty soon the fire would sit around us to get Hello, Mrs. O'Reilly. Oh, what a pretty dress. Oh, thank you, Jenny I bought it for the trip to Philadelphia. Do you like the pulled drape in the back of the skirt? Mrs. O'Reilly the train has a caboose. You don't have to wear one Professor, you know you like it besides don't forget your promise to be nice when you meet me relatives I promised and I'll keep my promise if the sign says don't feed them. I won't feed Professor miss no Raleigh's relatives aren't in a cage. They're probably running around loose Irma stay out of it, and we'd better start packing and we'll never get that weekend in the snow Oh, so you girls are going out for the winter sports. Well, take my advice and bring warm clothing You've got to be very careful if you want to be comfortable. Oh, I spent some agonizing days in the cold Yes, it must have been agonizing because your face was frozen in that position Come on, Mrs. O'Reilly. Well girls have a good time Well if that pair doesn't wake up Philadelphia, nothing will come on Irma Let's go down to the basement and get our suitcases. All right, and I'm gonna throw the moth balls out of my suitcase They're a fake. I haven't caught one moth yet Hello, what? Lake Placid calling? Oh, put him on Hello Richard. Are you having a good time skiing at Lake Placid? Oh Good, what's that? Oh, I see Bring what? Yes, they're at the office The brown envelope what Richard? Business and pleasure I love to You're the boss, honey. I mean yes, Richard. I'll waste no time. Goodbye. Irma. Guess what Richard has invited me to Lake Placid Isn't it wonderful? Oh I'm sorry Irma. I forgot, but you promised we would go away together But honey, this is business of Richard wants me to bring an envelope of securities He's meeting an important client there. Believe me. It's mostly business and I'll be up to my neck in work Now where did I put my strapless evening gown? Well, I don't know how you work, but I never wear that in the office Can't you understand I hate to break our plans, but you do understand Don't you? Oh, it's certainly think nothing of it. Oh, that makes me feel better. I'll go down now and get that suitcase Now you're sure you're not hurt Irma. Oh, not at all. These things never bother me. Ha ha ha ha ha. I'll see you Just saw Jane fly by. They must be on her way to a bargain sale Hey chicken, what's the matter? You're crying. I've been jilted Well, Jane and I were going away to the country for the weekend, but now she's going to Lake Placid to meet Richard Well, can't we go with it? No, she didn't invite us. I guess she's ashamed of me. That damn is a snout She won't recognize us as her equals why that's against all the democratic principles our fighting ancestors have died for She's got no business trying to run your life. This is a free country Is this why Paul Revere warned us that the Redcoats was coming? Is this why we fought the Battle of Bull Run? Did George Washington cross the Delaware in vain was Custer's last stand for nothing? When I think of them lives that was laid down in the Battle of Bunker Hill and those brave sailors who perished when the monitor sank the Merrimack I tell you chicken It's our duty to fight these injustices and and the people like Jane who are undermining our great nation We are right out. You bet your life I'm right and it's about time someone told that damn off. Yes, and I'm the one to do it. I think I hear coming now We'll wait out in the kitchen chicken. Don't want to intrude in domestic affairs. Oh, just leave it up to me I'm fed up me and democracy are counting on you chicken. I hope this bag isn't it Irma why you stare at me like that? You ought to know Peterson if you've got something on your mind get it out if you leave it in there It'll only give you a headache. All right You asked for it Trader trader Yes, you don't know the first thing about the Democratic principles. We're fighting our ancestors for People like them we're trying to free the country off honey, honey, wait a minute. Oh, no, Jane. Don't try to stop me You might as well know is this why Paul Revere waved his red coat Would run Is this why the monitor the Merrimack sunk bunker hill Thanks, I don't know what you're talking about. Don't try to be ignorant. It's my turn to talk Why do you think George Washington had his custard stand in the Delaware? Would you please tell me why Irma has given me this mix master version of our American history You know what she's driving at Jane. This is a free country. Why can't we go to Lake Placid? But you're worried about the dough forget it happened to get a little card game with free gentlemen and my own cards Naturally and loaded. Oh, you didn't get it dishonestly. Oh, no, there were 52 cards Just the assortment was different But that's beside the point. What do you say Jane? Do we go with you? Well, all right, if you want to take Irma, it's all right with me In fact, it might even be good I'd be so nervous carrying the envelope of securities it it'd be kind of comforting to have you along Jane you're so wonderful. I don't know how to thank you But maybe someday we'll meet in another world and I'll take you to Lake Placid Don't overdo it Irma Now I just want the two of you to understand one thing Stay out of mischief because if anything should prevent me from delivering these securities to Richard in the morning I'm as good as fired. Oh forget it Jane Let's all go out and buy some skates and snowshoes and skis chicken. Can you ski not very well? Do you have no not good? Well, then why should we waste the money? Let's just buy one pair of skis and we'll split it between us Don't think that you are safe from film Run the tip of your tongue over your teeth if you feel a slippery coating you have film and you need Pepsident with iriam to remove it for film is worse than you think film collect stains that make your teeth look dull But remember pepsident toothpaste removes film makes your teeth look bright film harbors germs that cause Unpleasing breath true, but pepsident removes film makes your breath fresh and clean film glues acid to your teeth the very acid Many dentists agree is the cause of tooth decay. That's right But pepsident toothpaste removes film and the acids it contains film never lets up. It forms Continually on your teeth. Yes, you have to fight film every day So brush your teeth twice a day with pepsident toothpaste Because no other toothpaste can duplicate pepsidents film removing formula No other toothpaste contains iriam or pepsidents gentle polishing agent So start now to fight film with pepsident the toothpaste with an exclusive formula for removing film Here we are at the railroad station. So far everything is under control I have the securities for Richard tightly clutched in both hands Al is taking care of the baggage and the equipment. I just spent a hundred hard-earned dollars for accessories ice skates and snowshoes and Irma well, she's fully prepared for our trek to the snow because there she stands in full regalia a Site that would scare the tuxedo off a penguin She's wearing a white sweater that she knitted herself with a scarf to match Well, it's not exactly a scarf You see it was her first attempt at knitting a sweater and she didn't know what to do with the third sleeve So she's wrapped it around her neck Well, I can't stand here admiring or there are things to be done. Let's see now Where's the ticket window right now leaving on track six for Harman for Kipsey? Gee this is exciting. Look at all the people. Yeah chicken in a place like this You'll find all kinds of people going to all kinds of places. Hey, there's a friend of mine Excuse me chicken. I'll wait home. Hi. Yeah, Harry. Now. Is he stuck up? No chicken. He's handcuffed We don't have too much time Will you see about the tickets? I'll get a red cap. Sure Jane. Oh for goodness sakes. I'll roll down your pants legs You're not going to get on for half there Yes, you're right. We write back. Oh Jane, I think I'll get a magazine to read on the train. Well, all right, sweetie But by heaven's sakes don't get into any trouble get your magazine and come right back I can't relax until I'm on the train with these securities. I'll be careful Hey now leaving on track seven for Bridgeport Can I help you miss is there some particular magazine you're looking for yes Do you have the January issue of true happening magazine? No, I'm sorry. I don't have a copy left. Oh You see I was following the cereal in the January issue about a husband whose wife tripped over the baby And he went to call the doctor and walked into the cement mixer You don't know how it all came out. Do you know no, I don't but I'm sure it must have been fun Gosh, I'll take a copy of Coronet magazine. Maybe my uncle's pictures in it. He used to play one, you know Yes, yes, here you are. Thank you. Goodbye Al did you get the tickets? Yeah, Jane. Our train leaves on track. Hey, where's chicken? Oh, I don't know I asked you to hurry back and she knows how concerned I am over these securities If anything happens to prevent me from getting them to Richard and Tima, I'll go out of my mind Well, the baggage is on the train and we still oh there she where oh Irma come on Well, they said the Commodore Vanderbilt was arriving on track five and I wanted to see how he looked in his sailor suit Great and if they told you the chief was arriving you'd wait because you hadn't seen an Indian come on. Let's go Come on, let's hurry like we do Jane here grab those bags chicken. We can't be late Can't wait till we get to Lake Placid gonna try skating and skiing might even go in for a toboggan fling How about you chicken? Oh, not me. You can drink what you like, but I'm gonna have something not Okay chicken you girls make yourselves comfortable. I'm gonna stroll into the club car might find a gin rubbing game I can give it see you later Are you enjoying the view sweetie? Oh, yes Jane my isn't marvelous this mechanical age We're living in what do you mean honey? Well on the farm Minnesota. We always got ours from the cows, huh? Now they get it from cars look there. It says milk train That's what brings it not what gives it Look, I'd like to take a nap. What if you walk back to the observation car? Oh, do they have one here? Of course they do it's the last car. Oh, that's wonderful. I'll find out and get him to hold me people are always telling me I should be held for observation See what it's like. Let's see you later Jane Well now maybe I can relax Yeah, I can hardly wait to be with Richard. I hope he swings the deal tickets, please. Oh, yes Just a minute. They're in my bag the car warm enough for you miss. Oh, yes, it's quite comfortable. Thank you I suppose it'll get cooler as we go along. Yes, you see as we approach Miami. We turn on the air conditioning Miami But but oh, no Pardon me, mister. Would you mind turning back a page you're eating too fast for me? Sorry here if you want to paper take it your fans Traveling for your health. No, I'm a bed and suit salesman. Just can't wait like I get to Miami, California shot Miami Haha, I'm afraid you're in for a shock. Mr. This train is on its way to Lake Placid Get yourself a glass of water, buddy. Oh, of course. This train's on the way to Miami Miami, but oh What am I gonna do now for goodness sake? Where's Al? I don't know Jane. Why are you so excited? Did you lose something? I'm losing my mind Irma Do you know that this train is headed for Miami Miami or that's silly We're going to Lake Placid besides we'll look funny trying to ice skate on the beach Why didn't I take care of things myself? Irma these securities Richard is waiting with his client. What am I going to do? Oh, there you are miss Oh, hello conductor. You've made a terrible mistake. This train to Lake Placid is going to Miami I beg your pardon and never mind her conductor. What were you able to do about our tickets? Oh, everything is taken care of the next stop is Philadelphia. You can catch a train back to Lake Placid Here are your tickets. Oh, thank you. Thank you now Irma hurry. Let's get the baggage near the door and find out. Oh, there he is Al And see by the whites of your eyes that you have learned the worst Don't you worry Jane have taken care of everything. Don't talk Al. Just get the luggage together We're coming into Philadelphia and we just have time enough to get off this train and catch the right one back But no buts do what I say Ready steady and point you on Hurry Al. We'll change trains grab those bags and let's board the right train before we go any further. There's something I think I'm doing all the thinking from now on Well, go ahead. I'm right behind you. I don't want to hear anything more from you You almost ruined everything now you and Irma just sit here and watch the luggage in the securities I'll be back in a minute on second thought. I'll take the securities with me Stubborn skirt. I'll all listen to you. What were you trying to tell her? Chicken when I found out we were going to Miami I got panicky knew we'd have no use for ice skates and snowshoes and all that winter clothing So I made a deal with a guy on the train Swapped all our stuff for bathing suits. There's bathing caps to match Jane will kill us. Well naturally ain't you my date? Al what can we do? Well, maybe I can explain to Jane Oh, no, it won't work Even if I do convince her as soon as she puts on one of the bathing suits and dies into the lake, she'll break her head That'll only make her madder. I Don't know chicken. Sometimes I get disgusted every time we try to jump the gun. We end up shooting ourselves Don't say anything here comes Jane. We will think of something Guess who's on the train? Oh, mr. Jorgensen the skating instructor at Lake Placid I told him we'd all take lessons from him and he gave us a bargain rate Jane you shouldn't have spent money for ice skating lessons. We may not even use the cornea chicken Well, they may not give us a license Besides there are other activities, you know dancing tree chopping log rolling swimming look I Spent a hundred dollars for that winter equipment and I've hired mr. Jorgensen for lessons and if we're not going to take advantage of it Those ice skates might just as well be Well, they might just as well be in Miami Oh, I don't like the way you Jane stay away from that bag Why a lot you know about skates if you expose them to this damn bear they they rust before you get a chance to use ridiculous I want to see what's going on now. Where are you and Irma going? We're going to the next car. Good news. Thanks You can't we're in the last car now. We'll get off and wait I Irma Al this bag is full of bathing suits How why that's what I've been trying to tell you all along Jane when I found out we were on the train to Miami I swapped the snow stuff for bathing suit. Oh, how could you the two of you? How could you well this time you're going to pay and I'll see to it personally when we get to Lake Placid I hope it's 20 below because you are going to wear those bathing suits But we can't Jane it's freezing up there. Oh, don't feel too bad Al the blue lips you look nice with our tan Don't think that you are safe from film nearly everyone has it Just run your tongue over your teeth if you feel a slippery coating That's film and you'd better get pepsidon toothpaste to remove it for film collect stains that make teeth look dull It harbors germs that cause unpleasing breath Film glues acid to your teeth the very acid that many dentists agree is the cause of tooth decay and remember Film never lets up. So brush your teeth twice a day with film removing pepsidon No, other toothpaste can duplicate pepsidon's film removing formula get pepsidon with eryum today Breach Lake Placid we borrowed skating equipment and had a wonderful time as for Irma She doesn't care too much about the outdoors. Why not Irma? Well, I went hiking in the woods and I saw some very large tracks. Yes, what about it? I wouldn't want to live in a place where they have such big mice And you know if anyone should take a poll among the mice I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they didn't want to live with my friend Irma My friend Irma is produced and directed by Si Howard Mark Levy writes the script with Stanley Adams and Roland McClain and it is brought to you by pepsidon toothpaste with eryum another fine product of Lieber Brothers company Marie Wilson is starred as Irma with Joan Banks as Jane the part of Al was played by John Brown Hans Konbreen was heard as Professor Kropotkin and Gloria Gordon as Mrs. O'Reilly music was under the direction of Ludveskin This is Wendell Niles speaking The RISK brisk flavor. That's what you get in Lipton tea Yes brisk flavor that picks you up brings you back alive in a hurry Brisk flavor that comes from Lipton's very special blending of the finest orange pico and pico teas Try it You'll find that this brisk flavor of Lipton's leaves you refreshed and ready to go again And you can enjoy it often because even wonderful tea like Lipton's costs less than any drink except water Always ask for Lipton tea the brisk tea with that heartwarming Lipton lift Tune in one hour earlier next week and listen to the Lux Radio Theater followed by the pepsidon show my friend Irma It's a CBS Columbia broadcasting system