 If you reverse it, then reverse it back again, and then we again. That wouldn't work, because you just... What do you mean it won't work? I think it will be perfect. We are so screwed if we don't try this at least. The representative is missing, units are melding together, the victorious entity is on the lucent, the self is falling apart, hold under my watch, and yours, when this is all over, you are no longer the Brigadier. I know! I know. Right now we need to focus. The last of us have been sent through. And what do you hope these morons will achieve? The only one with the brain and the heart to sort something like this out was Chris. And he's not coming back. Shut up. Bec, you're pardoned. I think he told you to shut up. Don't you dare put down these people! Men like you, you've locked us away for years, and do we fight you every day? No. Instead we fight Daleks and Cybermen and Autons and all other manner of space thuggery. They are in there risking their lives. Eccleston, he was a truly great doctor, but he's not the only one. Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. So, what's the next step of your plan? Oh, do we have a plan now? Well, I'm very excited to hear it, I'm all ears. They have eyes on the situation, correct, but we obviously don't. We need to know what's going on in there. So, we need to get in contact, but we can't do that without some sort of telephonic technology that's been through the fracture. One time I leave my phone at my desk. McCoy, here I am! Hello, Chaps. Tom, you made it back? How's it looking in there? It looks exactly like this room here, but all fucked up. It's rather thrilling. He means the situation, you dickhead. Oh, that! Not a clue. I was too busy running from Cybermen and messing with Leonardo, you understand. Now, if you'll excuse me. Has something more important than time-ending come up? No, no. Bye. No chance you had your phone on you when you went through the fracture. Well, of course I do. I've got to send Sarah Jane my B-reels after all. Whatever they are. Water's on me. You know, I just met a group of lovely guides back there and I really dug their vime. Great dress sense. I thought you misplaced that. Oh, yeah, well, it's always in the last pocket you look, isn't it? Ah, thank you, David. My favourite. Tap water. Anyway, let's catch each other up. That lady, the one in red, she's a time lady called Zariah and she's currently looking for all the pieces to the time disruptor, the thing that's caused all this. Exposition. No, but that doesn't make sense. It's already been built twice now, once by Colin in our universe and once by whoever started this in this one. Not to her, which makes me think the one she's building is the original. That's why time's getting more and more buggered because we're getting closer and closer to the epicentre. This is such good water. I hate to say it, but I believe timey-wimey is the correct descriptor. Where's the representative? Is he okay? He's in the medical bay, in critical condition, I'm afraid to say. We'll hold him in our hearts, but we can't forget that this time lord victorious thing is still on the loose. And we can't ignore what everyone else was doing. I mean, there was an ode in James Bond cosplaying. What's up with that? I'd say we focus on that. That's weird. Speak of the devil. Excuse me. Who the hell is that guy? Brian. His name is Brian. Yes, he's an assassin that's been tasked with killing that Zariah woman. And me and Kepali have stuck with him to see it through. You can't let him kill her. Why not? Hey, tell me. Why not? In fact, don't tell me. Don't even give a shit. By our understanding, she's the cause of all this malakie. Or will be the cause at least. Plus, the three of us are about to become super rich in a universe that none of us wish to stick around in. That money would be useless back home. Plus, I don't think she's entirely to blame. At least not fully. She must have someone back on Gallifrey, but I can't remember the plot. She'll turn up soon. And me and Kepali are team Brian. When she does, you're best to keep your heads down. Oh, and the never-done Lewis, right? I'm seeing if they've got more custard creams. Scooch bite. So much for being sent in to help. We're all stuck on different paths. Team Murder Who'd wrote. Team Time Lord Idiots. Oh, and don't think I've forgotten you, David. I will be inquiring where you've been. Look, I will explain, but right now we need to focus on what's happening right now. I'm going to go talk to that sexy Silurian singer over there. See if she has any valuable information, like her phone number. See ya. He's getting predictable, that boy. God only knows what he's been up to when we've not been looking, and this water tastes like shit. Oh, speaking of team Brian, did you see what they had back in France? Yes, yes, a piece of the disruptor. And that Zariah woman, she said she had one tomb. And according to them, it only requires one more to function. I have a feeling it'll be around here somewhere. Like David said, best we divide and conquer. We find a piece, we destroy it. And failing that, we don't allow Zariah to get to Gallifrey. I'm exhausted. Yes, what is it, what do you want? What did those strangers want? Them, they were just trying to sell me death sticks. Oh, lovely, my favourite. Do share. They were out. Oh, drats. Oh, well, maybe next time, eh? Oh, they're so euphoric. What did I miss? Well, whoever hired Brian has sent a special package to the ship. What's inside? They did not specify. I'm too excited, you look... Why me? Well, partly because I'm just too elated to do it myself. And I suppose there is also the teeny tiny possibility that there's a bomb in there planted by one of my countless enemies. Oh, pass. John, do you mind? But certainly not. It's your mail, so you open it. You know, on our world, it's actually illegal to open someone else's packages. Fine, but this will affect your assassin grades. Oh, my word. You already have a gun. The being who hired me for this job. They must really want this woman dead. Do neither of you know what this is? Well, of course we do. Tell us anyway. This is an anti-time gun. It can kill a time lord. In one shot, it completely cancels regeneration. Only three of these bad boys were ever completed. Oh, this is a high honour indeed. Hang on, that doesn't say I have that exact same gun. It was theorised that it was created by some mad time lord inventor. So I suppose it makes sense that at least one of them would be found on that silly orange planet. Okay, well, let's get out there, find that woman and kill her. Loving the attitude, but you boys best leave this to the professional. Get yourself another drink, boys. And enjoy the show. Very well. And what shall you do? Who's that? Testing, testing. One, two, three. Yes, hello. Can all members of Doctor Who wrote, I see a few in the audience here tonight, congregate here and fill me in. I'm very out of the loop and I'd like some help, please. Thank you. Stick on. Hello, sir. This is the ship's captain speaking. Could you get the hell off the stage, please? Ha! Oh! Sorry, I didn't even realise we were in space. That's, um, new. Nice ship, it's very clean. Don't get off, you blubbering idiot. Piss off, go on. Give it to the professionals, eh? Hello, dear captain, sir. I am William Hartman of, um, this. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realise we had someone as high-ranking as you on board. What can I help you with? Well, firstly, I must congratulate you. This is truly one of the most smooth space cruisers that I have ever ridden. Oh, there you are. You know, they didn't have any custard creams, unfortunately, but they do have mini-rolls. Off-brand mini-rolls for what you... What's he doing? No idea. That's not your psychic paper, is it? I am, however, afraid that we're going to have to make a slight detour. Detour? Detour. Can I ask why? Certainly not, but we must set sail for Gallifrey. No! Gallifrey? Not Gallifrey, I think that was it. Not Gallifrey. Oh, relax. I hear Gallifrey's lovely this time of year. I'm Dean Hartnell. We haven't seen Zariah in Aegis. She might have already found the final piece to the time disruptor. Oh, but she doesn't, my dear. Cos I don't... How the hell did you find that? A very trustworthy person gave it to me with a very simple instruction. Get it and the other pieces to Gallifrey. That's it. They must have given you more. Stop all your jabbeling. Just be more like Tennant here. Get yourself another drink and sit back and relax. William Hartnell. Thank you so much for that. You have been requested by... Briar. Good, cos we need to talk to her. Not you. Or you. Or you. Just him. Let me guess. Are you and Troughton team a set of Gallifrey, but also destroyed time and space as we know it, LOL? Not a catchy name, is it? Not exactly. Me and him are just trying to keep an eye on her. As we know, she's quite erratic. Plus, if it's the path that gets me back to Gallifrey, so be it. Oh. How did we all get sent in here with the exact same goal, and then immediately split up into different tracks? It's like it's designed to be this way. I wouldn't ever think it. Sometimes the universe just does this and we call it scripted. Now, where did that sexy Solerian singer get to again? Nah. Pretty sure she gave me the wrong number. Hello? Solerian? Nah. It sucks. What go on? Bill. Where's me? This is not my glass. Oh, we swapped seats. Oh, fucking slow down. Firstly, I... You scared the life out of me. What are you doing in a cleaning cupboard? Just you need to grab the... Not important. You know what? You grab on. Yeah. Oh, shit. I'll come back. I'll come back. That's fine. As I was saying, firstly I wish to apologise for hurting your friend, the one with the glasses. But in my defence, he was trying to kill me first. Or at least he was trying to. Bless him. I can't fully forgive you. But as a sign of peace, I wish to give you... Old man, you have no idea what you've done for me. No, he really doesn't. As a token of my appreciation, I shall see to it that your friend is okay. Well, that is appreciated. And with all that square, what say we all relax and have some cocktails? I have to ask. Why did you change the ship's course? No, I'm just a holiday maker. That's all. I hear it's quite lovely this time of year. But hardly. There's a billion, billion Daleks raining hellfire down upon it. You do raise a good point, Mr. Chicken. I hate you. I hate you very much. How will this ship land? It'll be torn to shreds before it even touches the upper atmosphere. Time and space are still colliding, but in helpful ways. It's always pointing me towards my destiny. So scour the ship. Look for any more tears. Now that Gallifrey's our destination, there must be a way to it. And what will you be doing? Me? I'm going to pay that ood one last visit. He's home! Call yourself that again. Did you overhouse any suspicion? Me? Suddenly not. I'm the most subtle man to ever grace God, sir. A likely story. You take over the digging. I'm exhausted. Mr. Dmit, I do feel a tad bad about all this. What? You're escaping prison, you silly boy. No, not the whole. Time is falling apart. The cosmic chess board is in tatters. And look at us, we're here doing nothing to help. Oh, who cares about time? What has time ever done for you? Allow me to exist across a linear plane of existence? Well, I could have done that if you only asked. You don't make sense. I'm going to go see if there's way I can assist. What? No, no, no. Think about it. This might be our only chance. We have a distraction so big it's distracted everyone, even the top brass. I'll be back. All right. And if I'm not, you take Harry and set a jane and ace. And you run as far and as fast as you can. See you on the outside. That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. More bananas, I think, is. Brian the Ood of the Lesser Order of Oberon, was it? Zariah of Gallifrey. And I'm... Sorry, no. You've been chasing me all across time. Bounty on me must be quite high. You will be pleased to hear that you are my highest ever bounty. I'm going to make so much off of you I could comfortably retire. Not that I would, of course. I simply adore murder. You know, maybe he's not the best role model. Are you kidding me? I'll follow this fancy chap anywhere. Who is it that wants me? Oh, come on! It was never going to last, David. Okay folks, nothing to see here. If all doctors could actually hide behind something, not only for your safety, but also to make this easier to film, much appreciated. Final words. But if you truly are the reason for time falling apart, I hardly think you're deserving. I apologise. But she's my ticket to Gallifrey. Speaking of which, how do you leave me in trouble and find a way? Zariah, come on. I doubt insurance will come up. I'm shutting you. Can't just go running through there raging. You'd be going head first into the time war. Alone. Who knows what horrors lie ahead. Don't be daft when going alone. Capale? Come on. John, they're right. We can't let Brian's death, as sad as it is, cloud our better judgement. Heartless bastard. The lot of you. The doctor, he has two hearts. He cares twice as much. You lot, none of you care at all. We do. We all do. But we need to remember the stakes here. Oh, shut up, you Scottish twat. I'll see you on Gallifrey. It's so hard to say, but the ending is inside. The show ended on Gallifrey, and we have a door right to it. Wait, it does? That would have been good information to know at any point. Yes, as in before we all leapt in in the first place. You were all rushing me. Leave off, I'm helping. He's okay, just sort of healing up. The BBC higher ups themselves. We'll have no choice but to come look at this place. We made it. Oh, my friends, what we have done today will make us heroes in the eyes of the time lots. All I've ever wanted. I give you my thanks, all three of you. Let's go rub this in Romana's face. Wait, so Romana's gonna be there? He's a riot. I'm glad to see you home. Lord Topesh, I am forever grateful and in your debt that you selected me for this mission. Well, there was no one better for the job. I see you've not done this alone. Yes, this is the Time Lord and human duo you sent me, and this random old man. This place is splendid. You dare step foot on Gallifrey and soil again. You are mistaken, Madam President. This is the Time Lord known as the Traveller. I see your vision is as good as your presidential abilities. Wicked incendio. Oh, save it. That man is a human. And an idiot. Ridiculous! I've been waiting for this. Anyone care to verify? That cost me ten quid. Son, you're a spy. If not for Romana, then who? The Doctor? Tell me! Zariah. What matters is that you have what you were sent for. Discussing private. Why is it that whenever I try to help, to be the Doctor that I long to be? Maybe next time you could simply not lie. The honest truth is a powerful asset. What about Doctor Rule One? Who are you? Matt Smith or Paul McGann? Your life is different than anybody else's. Isn't that exciting? There's no need for you to lie. You are enough. Have you always been this profound? Since the day I was born. Now, I think we should get ourselves a seat. Something tells me this is all going to get very confusing. Welcome to the High Council Chamber. Your attire suggests that you're a member of my chapter? I'm afraid not, Miss... Romana... I'm assuming you're here for the vote. My dear, I'm rather in a rush. Is this important? Clearly not to you. Get out of here, you ignorant fool. Sorry, hello. What's all this about a vote? Excellent. Absolutely superb. The Prydonian chapter will hail you as our rightful saviour. You really believe so? Of course. With these, we can finally complete the Timeless Rector and defeat the Daleks once and for all. That still leaves President Moron in the way. She'll never allow this to be used. And that is why, in your absence, myself and the fellow chancellors from the Arcadian chapter have forced a vote to take place in just a few moments. The vote is to deem whether I'm fit for presidency. A vote of no confidence. A vote of no brains, more like it. What they've wanted for a millennia. The resurrection... of Rassilon. What? That warmongering idiot? Exactly! But with the time wall reaching its apex, it's who they think they need. With this vote. So spread the word! I beg of you! It's already starting. Can I trust you humans? You can. I promise. Let's go take our seats. Looks like all us Doctor Who Roadlots are present and accounted for. Well, except for Colin Baker, obviously. And Tom Baker, oddly. God knows where he's ended up. Oh, and John Hurd. Well, I suppose he was clever enough not to come along. He does seem to be the smartest. We need to split up and tell everyone in every way. Text message, Bebo, WhatsApp, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter. Rassilon is not to be resurrected under any circumstances. Holy horses, my friends! Flipping John! There's been a change of plan. So much for being the smartest, Asper's. No time to be snarky, Miss Whitaker. We must make sure Rassilon is resurrected. Under Who's authority? The only one any of us can truly trust. Let me explain. I was the last Doctor Through. But I arrived somewhere different to all of you. Somewhere. Davros. Oh, not that prick again. Oh, for God's sake! Don't interrupt my flashback. Sorry. What did he say? You have the clothes of the Doctor. But the face reminds me of a certain Doctor Who road. You are correct. Now, if you could direct me to the others. I will gladly be rid of you. However, I actually have a quest for you to undertake. Me? Help you? I've never heard such arrogant nonsense. I'll find my own way, thank you. Put your hatred of me to one side, Mr. Hurt. Time is fractured. And both of us have a part to play in saving it. Mine is giving you this. What is it? A device that will allow my Daleks passage through Gallic Ray. The Time Lords are the cause of time's collapse. Or shall we? So my Dalek army shall stop. The Daleks will be the saviour of time. Like I said, nonsense. Why should I believe that you have the universe's best-interested heart? You want to destroy it every other week. You cannot conquer what doesn't exist. But I understand your distrust. Luckily, you don't have to trust me. Try this. Sir? Who was it? The Doctor. The real Doctor. Well, if there is one person in this universe we can trust. Okay. We must spread the word and fast. Oh, way ahead of you. I've just transcribed everything you just said into the Doctor Group chat. And I'll send. Everyone will know. Can everyone find their seats or assigned standing positions? Together to resurrect Rassilon. Shall commence...