 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Well, a little miss honey, how are you today? I'm just fine, and I've got a riddle. I'm just fine too, so tell me the riddle. Six girls. Well, the girls were small, and the umbrella was big. No. Lorraine came straight down on the umbrella, and the umbrella was right over their heads. No. Hmm. All right, I give up. Why? It wasn't me. Oh, that was a trick riddle. Now I've got one for you. What? What runs around all day and lays down at night with his tongue hanging out? A cock or a spaniel? No. Some other kind of a dog? Nope. All right then, what is it? Your shoe. Oh, that's funny. The tongue of the shoe hangs funny. Puck the Comic Weekly. Very well, I'll read that in just a moment, but before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on the bottom of the first page, Hopalong Cassidy. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for Hopalong. Hopi, trying to find out who has been selling guns to the Indians, has followed a trail which leads him to a river town called Pike's Landing. After considerable trouble with the folks in town, Hopi, California, and Lucky are talking to the Marshal of the territory, a man whose job is much like a sheriff. First picture the Marshal is saying to Hopi, well, you can't blame Meeker for demanding your arrest at the riverboat freight office. After ever since smugglers have been supplying guns to the Indians in this area, there's been bad feeling towards strangers. Hopi replies, yes, since after you get worse, if the cargo listing I saw on that freight office means anything to Marshal, the last steamer brought in a shipment of bailed hay to go to the timber ridge logging camp. In California, it adds last picture top row. Yeah, and that's where we'll find the smugglers' rifles. The Marshal reaching for his rifle says, and we better find them before those redskins do. Get to your horses. Miles from their starting point, last picture middle row, they arrive at a river. The Marshal waves his companions to a halt. First picture bottom row, the Marshal points at a hill across the river. Well, the logging camp overlooks this creek from the top of that ridge. Hopi says, we better follow the creek. It'll hide our approach. Meanwhile, in the logging camp above, a crew of men are busy hiding the shipment of rifles in hollow logs. When the rifles have been put in the hollow of the log, the tree bark is put back on top, covering it so the log looks quite natural. The man directing the activities walks along saying, we can use some of that engine gold, man. Now get those rifles stowed, and on their way to iron claws camp before somebody shows up here. And then the logs are put in a chute and are slayed down to the river below. Last picture, the Marshal hopi and his pals in a grove of trees stand watching. The Marshal looks at the logs floating down the river and says, just a mess of timber. I don't see anything to get hat up about. Yes, I think that's the idea. Well, I'm so they can use them against the white man. So do I. We'll find out whether Hopi can stop this next week. Now? Oh, let's turn these. Yes, and I know you're anxious to read that, so we won't waste a second. Here we go with Dagwood and Blondie. Ram-a-foo-ram-a-fum-sim-sem-zombie. Can't you be music for Dagwood and Blondie? Dagwood is relaxing with the paper when Blondie rushes in. Blondie phones that he's bringing his girlfriend, Julia, over to meet us. Dagwood exclaims. Well, why get so excited about that? Look at the house. Look how you look. Come on. She jerks the paper away from him, yanks him out of the chair, and shoves the vacuum cleaner into his hand as Dagwood dashes around the room. Last picture, top row, she yells. We've got to. First picture, second row, as she polishes the table, she says. We mustn't. We mustn't. We mustn't. Second picture, second row, she orders. Last picture, second row, she shoves Dagwood into the bathroom. Now hurry, yes. Dagwood answers. But I wasn't going to shave until tomorrow. Little later, with a clean shirt and a fresh tie-on, Dagwood settles down on the chair to relax. Blondie dashes down the stairs. First picture, third row. It's a fun walk. At that moment, outside the door, Alexander is saying. Well, come on, Julia. I don't want to. Oh, come on, Julia. No, I don't want to. Oh, come on. You like my father and mother. They're real nice. Oh, come on, Julia. Don't be so fast, fool. First picture, bottom row, the door opens. And Alexander walks into the house alone. Dagwood stares at him in surprise. Alexander says. And what's the matter, Pop? You look weird. Well, where's the young lady? We're going to bring home to meet us. Oh, she got mad and went home. Dagwood goes and then grabs Alexander by the neck. Pulls him over his lap and starts to spank him. Last picture. Blondie looks at Dagwood in horror and says. Dagwood. Dagwood shouts, I'll spank him when he's 40 years old. If he pulls a stunt like that again. He wouldn't spank Alexander because it wasn't Alexander's fault. No, it really wasn't. It was that silly bashful girl. Yes, I think girls are silly when they're bashful. Yes, and I know a couple are silly without being bashful. Well, that does happen sometimes. Yes, sometimes. Now? Oh, look across the page. There's Prince Valiant. Oh, yes, there he is. And do you remember what happened before? Bolta, a wild pirate of the sea, had captured a ship and plundered it, and that was against the new rules. Yes, you see, King Agwar had signed a treaty with Sir Gawain, agreeing that no more ships would be plundered in the waters between their two islands. But Bolta did it anyway, and so to punish him, they locked him up. But then a very silly telecom, who's one of the maids to Princess Alita, helped Bolta to escape. Yes, she helped him get out of his cell and led him to a boat, and he finally made his way to the open sea. But there was something in the bottom of the boat, and I wonder what that is. Well, here we go to find out now with Prince Valiant and the days of King Arthur. Hackett, Brackett, Gray, Malkin, and Quince, music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Bolta had been placed under heavy guard to await his punishment for plundering the ship of Sir DeLuc. In the morning, the guards discover that he's gone. Search parties comb the riverbank for his body, and then it's discovered that a boat is missing. Last picture top row, mounted men I sent on the long road to the mouth of the river where Bolta ship lay. It's hard to believe that Bolta could have piloted his little boat through the wild waters and cataracts of the river. But by a miracle of skill, Bolta has survived the perils of the tumbling river. And even before he rounds the last bend, first picture next row, his men can hear the roar of his voice calling them to their posts. They all jump to their stations as Bolta pulls the little boat up beside his ship. As he picks up the bundle from the bottom of his boat and climbs aboard, last picture second row, over the rail they tumble with their weapons, water skins, and such provisions as they can snatch up. Shields are hung over the rail. The long oars are shipped, and men are standing by to raise the anchor. And then, first picture bottom row, Bolta lays the bundle carefully on the deck, unties it, and when the wrapping is off, we see him. Tilikum, the Indian woman who had helped him escape. Bolta stands up. Tilikum arises quietly, rubbing the circulation back into her manum-darms. Her dark eyes fixed on his, holding them. She moves slowly toward him. Bolta says to himself, well, at last. Now that I've shown her who is master, she's going to surrender. She's mine. Her hands go out toward him slowly. And then like a flash, last picture, she plucks the knife in his girdle and aims a blow at his throat. Yes, I can't understand why. Neither can I, because you remember last week she looked at him with the look of love when he was going to leave. I just think she's mad because he kidnapped her. Maybe she thinks she should be loyal to Alita. Oh, I'll bet that because Bolta won't let her be loyal. But we'll find out about this next week. This is a very strange woman. Yes, this is a very strange woman. Well, now let's turn over the page and see who's next. Oh, look, a curtain. Yes, let's read that right now. And this I'm so anxious to see because, you remember, Flash was on the planet Mars where the queen meant to have tried to make him a slave prisoner. Yes, but Flash succeeded in escaping and had captured the queen and taken her along with him. And then the sand car that they'd been in got buried in a big pile of sand blown over them by a sand blizzard. And I thought, sure, they would die because they can't get out of it. But Flash turned on the exhaust of the sand car and aimed it at the wall of sand and started the motor. The hot flame that came out of the exhaust burned a hole through and they saw daylight ahead of them. Now please read and let's see what they found when they escaped. Very well. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Orega rega dune dunes, ask him a task. Let's have music for heroic flash. Escaping from their Martian captors in the sand car with Queen Menta as a hostage, Flash and his party are caught in an ice blizzard which buries them under a frozen sand dune. As a last desperate measure, Flash turns the car's rocket exhaust upward and manages to blast a tunnel to freedom. And last picture top row as they make their way toward the spaceport where Flash's rocket is guarded, Flash warns the Martian queen not to send a thought message to her slaves for help, promising to free her if she makes no hostile move. And he adds grimly, I take heat, Menta. Try to thwart our escape and we'll carry you to Earth as our prisoner. After a long tiresome walk through the desert sands of Mars, first picture bottom row, they reach the spaceport. Boldly, Flash approaches his ship. Menta follows Dossily, but suddenly two guards appear. One of them whips out a ray gun. With a lightning motion, Flash draws his own gun and blasts the pistol from the guard's hand before the start of Martian knows what happened to him. Flash commands, all right, stand back. One false move and your queen's life is forfeit. The guards stop helplessly. Quickly, Flash orders his party into the rocket ship. Flash presses the starting button, but the jets won't fire. Last picture, Menta tells him that she had, by telegraphing her thoughts to her men, ordered them to remove the atom fuel. And she tells him to hand over his guns quietly and she might lessen his punishment for kidnapping the queen of Mars. Yes, after all of Flash's plans, the queen has outsmarted him. Well, Flash ordered. Well, that's something we'll find out next week. Now? Now could we capture that man Norton, who had stepped into the cabin with his gun in his hand? Well, let's go over the page past Buzz Sawyer, go across to the next page, turn over page seven, and there, at the bottom of page eight, is Roy Rogers. Oh, gritty. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. And at the bottom of page eight, Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. I yip-pio. Now here we go with Roy in trigger. I yip-pio. Carp Mallory has joined forces with Roy and his friends. After Norton, leader of the Crooks, had tried to kill him. Norton steps into the smoking cabin, gun in hand. He sees Mallory lying on the floor, draws the trigger back to shoot Mallory again to make sure he's dead. Roy, hiding behind the door, leaps at him and knocks the gun out of his hand. Norton exclaims, Roy Rogers, I thought the explosion in the mine finished you and your pals. Mallory gets up from the floor saying, third picture. Yeah, let me fix the double cross and pull cat for dry gulching me. Me, his own side gig. Seeing it's a trap, Norton gives Roy a shove. As Roy snubbles over Mallory, Norton runs for the door, last picture top row. A lot came her outside the cabin. First picture bottom row exclaims, Hey, look, Fred, it's Norton. I'm paying him off for grabbing my land and framing me for their murders. Swat knocks the gun down saying, Nope, Roy says he wants him alive. Besides, he won't get far. I loosened the cinch on a saddle. Suddenly, the saddle slips sideways, and Norton falls to the ground. Roy, who has come out of the cabin, runs for him. Leaps at him and knocks him over. Norton whines third picture bottom row. Don't kill me, Rogers. Roy answers, don't worry. You got a lot of explaining to do first, Norton, to a judge. Some time later, Jack Spratt, who is a deputy sheriff, has locked up Mallory and Norton, and is once again at his favorite business of eating last picture. Roy is once again mounted on trigger, preparing to hit the trail. Blotkramer says to him, well, I got my property back. And they cleared me of all them phony wrestling and killing charges that Norton tried to pin on me. Thanks, Rogers. At that moment, a voice has heard saying, I tell you, treble follows me like a hound dog. Roy looks around saying, well, I'd know that voice anywhere. Another adventure. It always turns out that way. I have a hunch that you've got a good hunch yourself. Yes, captured that Norton because he was a mean one. Yes, you bet he was. Now next week, we look forward to a new adventure with Roy Rogers. Now? Now, could we please read Alice in Wonderland next? I just love Alice. Well, let's find out. Go over the page, past page 9. Go past Perry Mason and the Lone Ranger on page 10. And there on page 11 is Alice in Wonderland. Oh, yes, a garden. And she found three cards painting the white rose bushes red. Yes, and then the queen came parading through the garden with her army of cards behind her. And when she saw the white roses paint red, she yelled. Red. Yes. And she was furious. And now, let's see what she does next. Very well, here we go with Alice in Wonderland. Say the magic words with me. And now for a story that gets curiouser and curiouser. Alice in Wonderland. So music, sir, music, sir. When the queen discovers it was the three cards of paint of the white roses red, she thunders off with her heads. And the three hapless card gardeners are hauled away. As they're taken away to be punished, Alice tries to tell the queen that they were only trying to be nice. The queen thunders, quiet, do you play croquet? Alice tells her that she does. Whereupon, third picture, the little king shouts, croquet game, king's orders. The little white rabbit brings the croquet mallets. And when they're drawn out of the bag, they turn out to be flamingos, a long, skinny bird with a hook neck. The queen holds hers by the feet as hedgehogs roll themselves up to be balls. And other cards bend themselves over to be wickets. And in last picture top row, the curious croquet game gets underway as the queen prepares to hit the first hedgehog through the first wicket. She shouts, silence. Carefully, she lifts her flamingo over her head. Then first picture bottom row, unseen by all except Alice, the Cheshire cat appears. And as the queen swings back, she hooks the flamingo's beak under her skirt. And he says, there's no big loads of fire. Alice gasps. The queen completes her mighty swing and yanks herself into an inglorious heap. She hits the ground with a thundering crash. She leaps to her feet and thinking Alice is to blame for this, she shouts, your head will roll for this. The little king answers, my dear, couldn't we have a trial first? Just a little trial. Last picture as guards march Alice off to the courtroom in the castle. The queen roars, well, well then, let's the trial begin. The Cheshire cat plays. Yes. And just think that. Yes. I wonder if they'll free her at the trial. Well, that's something we'll find out next week. And I'm sure it'll be a very strange trial. Oh, I'm sure too. Now? Oh, now it's time to read Dick's adventures, isn't it? I think you're right. And you'll find that Dick is on the very last page. So let's turn over. All right. Yes, here. He was at a fur trading post in the early days of America. Yes, and he met two famous men, Captain Lewis and Captain Clark. You said new adventures would begin. So quick read. Let's find out about that now. Very well. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Riggity-pack-ca-zack-ca-zick. That's some music for adventurous Dick. Dick polishes his gun first picture, as he says to himself. Boy, am I in luck. Gosh, here I am going on one of the world's most famous exploring expeditions, back when Thomas Jefferson was president, right after we got the Louisiana Territory. And then he goes to join Capt. Lewis and Clark, who he sees approaching. They're talking to a couple of upstream trappers and Indians. Last picture, top row, who are telling them that the spring floods have swept the Missouri River clear of ice, which means that boats can travel in the river. At this news, at the encampment just outside the front of village of St. Louis, activity mounts to fever pitch, for this means the expedition can begin. Leaders of the expedition are two able young army captains, Maryweather Lewis and William Clark, both born in Virginia, and old friends and comrades in arms. Dick studies them first picture, next row, as he watches them going over their maps. Clark, Dick guesses, is genial, fluff and practical. Lewis seems moody, jumpy, quick, a scientist as well as a soldier. Until recently, Lewis was presidential private secretary to Jefferson. Last picture, second row, provisions are taken aboard the boats that are to go down the broad river. The men numbering 40 odd are hunters, scouts, soldiers and skilled workmen. The goal of the expedition is to cross the vast unmapped territory lying west of the Mississippi in north of Mexico, over the Rocky Mountains to the Pacific. The first leg of the 4,000 mile exploration will follow the Missouri up to its source. First picture, bottom row, on the eve of departure, Dick is given a message to deliver to a famous address. Last picture, Dick mounted on his horse, waits at the river, and at the crack of dawn of a high bluff overlooking the junction of the mighty Mississippi with the sullen mud, the mudstain Missouri. Dick sees that the barge has started, and he races on to rejoin the expedition later. The expedition has started, isn't it? Yes, now the adventure begins. Travel through Indian country, across mountains and rivers, and building new forts, oh, lots of exciting things. What are you supposed to deliver? And why can't he go along with them now? That's something we'll find out about next week. Oh, I just love these stories about Dick in the early days of America. So do I. And now look underneath Dick's adventures is Rusty Riley. Oh, yes, and I, Mr. Miles and Tex were expecting a girl named Vivian to come to their farm. And instead, it turned out to be a boy. Yes, only he didn't come to the farm. He came speeding down the highway in a little roadster 90 miles an hour. And the state cop arrested him and took him to jail. Yes, and Mr. Miles went to the jail to try to get him out. Let's see what happens next. All right, here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give his music for his horse and Rusty. Mr. Miles walks from the sergeant over to Vivian, who says, well, what gives? You square the ramp with that hip cop? Mr. Miles replies, no, my boy, I merely had you released in my custody with my promise to have you in court when your case comes up. He introduces Vivian to Tex. This is my superintendent, Tex Purdy. He'll take you out to milestone, Vivian. I have some business in town. I'll talk to you later. Vivian follows Tex out of the police station, third picture, and he says, ah, good night. Pop says, oh, man, Miles is a big shot. He can't even fix a traffic ticket. Tex replies, ah, son, a real big shot. Don't throw his weight around. He don't break the law, and he don't hold with winking at them that does. First picture, bottom row, Tex and Vivian enter the living room of the Miles farmhouse. Tex introduces Vivian to Patty and Rusty, who exclaims, hey, Jeepers, he's a boy. Vivian answers, yeah, sure I'm a boy. No cracks about my name, either. As Rusty leads him to his room, Rusty says, oh, gee whiz, I wasn't going to kid you about your name. Well, it's just that we were expecting a girl. OK, Rusty, I didn't mean to blow my top. It's only that most people don't know that Vivian is a boy's name as well as a girl's, at least not here in America. They go into the bedroom. Vivian tosses a suitcase to the floor. Rusty sits in the bed. Any questions? Well, aren't you an American? Vivian replies, sure I am, because Mr. Smith adopted me. You see, my real dad, well, his name was Vivian, too. He was English. He died in the war. Meanwhile, about 50 miles west in a hotel, a strange-looking Englishman with a walrus mustache is talking to his friend, a slinky-looking individual. Sir Percival says, oh, my dear Nabe, our casual meeting with that kid with the hot rod is going to get us in as guests at Miles Stone Farm. Nabe answers, and I suppose you'll be, sir, Percival and I'll be, as usual. Last picture, sir Percival goes on. Yes, Nabe. Our usual professional item today is we're half afraid to Lexington and invest our sadly depleted capital in a rented car. His father died in the war. Yes, it is. Maybe that's why Vivian isn't as nice a boy as he ought to be, because he hasn't had a father, and maybe he was adopted too late by Mr. Smith. Yes, that could be. I wonder what Mr. Sir Percival and that man Nabe are up to. They're trying to find a way to get into the Miles Stone Farm. And my guess is that people who tried again to replace the way they're trying haven't got very good intentions. And my guess is they haven't very good intentions either. Well, we'll find out more about that next week. Now, that's all the time I have for now. But before I go, here's that fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey and all you boys and girls, I got to go now. All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but I'll be waiting for you next week. OK, that's a date. And a date with all you boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Pop the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. You're friends the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man.