 Is this thing on? All right, the audio visual guy was not wrong. We're just gonna keep this going Okay, um, so thank you first of all David for Giving me the opportunity to do this. I love sharing learning lessons. It's a part of my job and it's a part of me So this is fun to do again The story I'm gonna tell you today is Kind of all about how I didn't know what the hell I was doing for most of my career But that it oddly prepared me for what I'm doing now a job that I'm really excited about at Acquia that I just really adore and All those wrongs Turned into a big right. So that's where I'm going with this in case you're like, why is she telling me so many things? so When I started out as a youngling many moons ago, we won't say how many I wanted to be a developer. I was like Love making things and I want to be an architect and figure this out and oh my gosh my thing works And this is amazing. I felt really excited about it. I thought that's gonna be my career By the way, I should say before that I wanted to be a professional floutist and a French teacher So on the spectrum of things that I'm interested in it's very wide But in this case I wanted to be a developer. I was really passionate about it and I was Really into it and I decided I'm gonna go to school for this And I went to college and I started, you know Learning how to do things learning Java and all this stuff and I realized I was terrible I was that person who was like at 2 in the morning working on their thing and their little program And just calling up all of my guy friends because I was the only girl in the class by the way And calling them up me like, I don't know why this won't run. Here's my error message And it would always be a period or a semicolon and I wanted to just shoot myself So after about, you know, a couple of years of that and then a couple of years of actually doing programming in cold fusion Wait, yeah, you can laugh. I decided all right. That's it. I'm giving up on this But I'm staying in this field because I like IT. So I'm gonna do design. Maybe I just was in the wrong Maybe I was like, you know in the wrong fields. I'm gonna do designs that I did design. I Was not so great at that either Didn't do the most beautiful things there were better than some other ones But I wasn't talented in my own opinion at that time I didn't realize that I had to like actually do tons and tons and tons and tons and like really train and learn and Study in order to become a good designer because I was young and naive Then anyway, that was another thing I was wrong about So then I moved into Information architecture and I realized that that was really boring to me. It just wasn't interested in it at all so that was another thing I was wrong about and then I moved into Project management and that kind of stuck like I really liked I did that for about 10 years and All of those things like having done I did UX and UI as well, but I wasn't super great at that either By the way, so that was another thing. So I was like wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong Pretty good. That's a pretty good fit and today I am a program manager and I realized why this is such a good fit for me In one part is because I learned about all of those things all of those wrong decisions all those years wasted in career paths that were not for me Clearly ended up being super valuable to me today when I talk to developers I can understand where they're coming from when I talk to designers I know how hard their job is to get someone to describe what they want It's really really hard UXers and UIs how underappreciated this like career is and how Immensely valuable it can be and how great it is So I can come at those people and the project managers how they just feel like secretaries. Oh my god. Do I get it? So now when I'm cross-functional and I'm talking to different groups in different parts of dealing with all these things I am so grateful that I screwed up so bad so many times because now I have this beautiful perspective on Everyone's problems and now all their pain points and what they care about because I've literally been in their shoes For a short time when I was just wrong. It's stupid so that's my my lesson learned is that You might feel at the time that you're making the biggest mistake like me and picking four or five different careers probably many more in my head and Trying them out. You might feel God. Why can't I just get this right other people know what they like They know how to do this and I'm this one idiot who just can't seem to figure out what the hell She's doing and keeps trying all these things and failing at them But it might actually end up being the best thing for you because you learn from that and you find out This isn't a fit, but The why is what was more important to me? And I understood for myself what I cared about and what I liked I think it was maybe kind of a kiss a kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince situation and I hope that everyone in this room When you screw something up Feel bad about it, of course because then it motivates you not to do it again But also just like learn from it. What can you learn about yourself? What can you learn about other people? How does this enrich your life and for me? That was the best lesson that I could take from failing at like five careers So that's how I was wrong That was only five minutes Hi, my name is John Ferris. We're for ad-design group David's not here, but I did want to thank him for Thinking to reach out to me for a session entitled I was wrong Appreciate that that vote of confidence So I thought a lot about what I wanted to talk about today I've I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've been wrong wrong a lot Thought about talking about You know developer issues. I lead a team of front-end developers. So, you know talking about testing your code or When did when to deploy when not to deploy anything like that? But I kept coming back to Something that happened. I think I was maybe a senior in high school I Used to I come from a very I guess joyful or A family that laughs a lot. I'm the youngest of five We like to to make fun of each other. We're very self-deprecating senses of humor You know, we always make fun of my sister because she has a little tyrannosaurus rex arms But she's I mean she does it to herself I Yeah, and I I was I like to make people laugh I like to think I'm witty And sometimes I would do that at other people's expenses You know I like to make fun of myself. So I assume, you know other people like to get made fun of too So I do that a lot just trying to make people laugh And then one day I was sitting with my friend Mike He's a friend of mine, I've known him since I think we were four We grew up a couple houses down from each other. He's just an amazing person like he was Balaviktorian of our of his class He actually got an award for perfect attendance for all 12 years of school Like a letter from the president. It's just that the kind of guy that he is he you know graduated From the University of Arizona and like three years with dual majors in microbiology and like Choir directing or something like that. It's just the type of guy he is And so needless to say I really I respected him I left up to him a lot and we were sitting there in a room and I I don't even remember what I said I cracked Some joke, you know, it's someone else's expense and Mike just turned to me turned to me and like the most compassionate way just looked at me and he's like You're a jerk Like not being mean at all just like you know Check what you're doing. Don't Don't say that about other people and Like to me There's something I think back about a lot you Know I met I was actually visiting him in New York a few weeks ago and I actually told him this story and He didn't even remember it like didn't even like, you know, it's just an insignificant moment in his life And I'm like, I'm even saying it now. I'm getting choked up Because it like really affected me So now I think about like, you know if I'm on Twitter or something and I'm about to say something snarky because that's all I have to say and Like I'll check myself. You're like, what would Mike do or not really but you're like, yeah, I'll just keep this one to myself You know be taken out of context. This might hurt someone's feelings It's not worth the joke Even happened, you know a few years ago when I first started with that and we had a I don't know a client left a message in base camp and for some reason I thought like The actual words that they wrote taken out of context were hilarious to me and I thought it would be funny for everyone else to see it too. So I copy and pasted it into I Think it was hip chat at the time with the comment is something stupid like Client comment of the year award goes to and then just pasted it there My boss Justin our CEO Just sent me an email. He's like Don't don't say that like don't ever like we have a standing rule like one don't ever Put anything bad about a client and writing and in general just like don't talk bad about a client in general we're on the same team and You know, of course I saw that email and I was like Oh What did I do now super apologetic and he's like don't worry about it. Just don't do it So I guess the lesson for me is not so much, you know, you know, yeah, don't be snarky. Don't don't be a jerk but You know take the time to I guess love someone enough to to tell them like you know, you're doing something wrong like You know, don't don't be a jerk about that Like something I feel like we go through life. Just kind of without really knowing it testing our own boundaries like pushing things and it takes people to You know say You know, don't do that. It's not You're wrong So I guess I would tell you to or encourage you to you know, tell other people they're wrong Like don't do it publicly just take them aside and be like you know that People might take that better, you know, you're hurting people's feelings or whatever and That's it. Hi, thanks so Mine My name is Batty and I come from Iceland. I live now in Germany. So I didn't we don't know what we are actually going to be talking about here, but actually Yes Because this is exactly what I was going to say so Actually, my story or what I've been thinking about a lot It's actually personal for me because it was actually difficult at that time So it was like this that we were or I've organized a lot of camps and in in Europe and And we were like organizing this camp Drupal Europe And it's gonna take place in September and we've been doing this basically from September to December or January and we're working really hard every single week and Then finally we it comes to the time and moment that we announce Where it's gonna be and when it is gonna be so we announce it really like hey It's gonna be in Darmstadt in Germany on this time in September and then people start tweeting And then came one tweet from a friend of mine, and he said oh damn I can't get to that one and I was so excited about our event that I immediately just wrote him like hey, just reschedule And I made like a this here, which is like a blinker for those who are listening And then actually a friend of mine He wrote me on a privately. He wrote me body Think before you tweet and I'm like, huh? What do you mean? And then I noticed that there was a long tweeting list after this and I'm like, oh no Did I do a mistake? You know I actually asked somebody to reschedule something. That is a religious holiday and I felt terrible and I felt so bad that I just like it was public. It was on Twitter and So I started to think about like well, I did a mistake, but then I actually realized we did a mistake And that was actually You know that I think the first thing first to think about like I did a mistake of doing something like that But then I realized it was something much more bigger than that, you know We actually did a mistake of not thinking about May having an event at a time that didn't fit everyone So you can imagine what happens to to you as a person or if I just take it on a personal level Yeah, like I didn't know what to do. I Started to like talk to friends and I had really good friends that have been actually going doing stuff like that themselves And and I was like, you know delete the tweet, you know, it's like no that doesn't you know What's it that do and I wish I had like a some kind of a A training book or a helping book like hey, what what should I do now? You know, should I start apologizing personally? But then I actually have to do it on a much bigger level because we actually have to apologize on a you know, because so You get my point For me personally, I didn't sleep for a whole week, you know, I felt like terrible and and that's why You know, it's really difficult to say it because it was just it was a terrible five days in my life So yeah, so I never said it before I think so Where's the water? So basically What I wanted to share is that? You know, we all make you know, if I had been in a In a party with all of you and I had said the same thing I think that you probably would have said like hey buddy, you know And you would have corrected me correctly But this is something that just sticks and is online and I think like the biggest lesson for me is of course Think about what you say in public just generally Just like you think about what you say to a person in person And I think we all have to just learn from that and that's probably one of the biggest thing that I really learned from and Then of course apologize for the mistakes that you do So I think it is also really important that you just you stand up and you also say hi at data mistake so that's maybe the next thing that I learned from that lesson and And just to add to that because I have two minutes because it happened again the other day But not in this level and I didn't lose sleep for that, but we all had the security update and Me as very many other people we were just tweeting like triple get them triple get them and putting the hashtag and then Tim actually tweeted Hey guys think about what you're actually saying because it could potentially hurt people That were back then involved for those who potentially Made that you know that are responsible for that security leak That it actually hurts the people that were involved in that process And now we are doing like security update parties and we are putting this hashtag to that So I didn't think about it at all when I tweeted and put this hashtag in but after Tim actually Talking about and he's writing a blog about it. I heard then actually you understand that that could actually there are people behind it and So therefore just think a little bit before you you know take your time Before you say something or if you want to be especially if you want to be funny and I think like Then especially you have to think One more time. So yeah, thank you for listening to that one And I hope that you know, we all can learn to be a little bit more where is a nicer to each other and most important come to us in person to each other and Let's have that conversation and let's try to help to educate each other, right? Thanks, I'm not gonna use the mic or I'm gonna like wander into the wall somewhere Yeah, so I'm Tim Plunkett and I am a senior developer at aquia working on Drupal core pretty much full-time now so About seven and a half years ago. I started like my first foray into core Working with Bartek theme and about maybe a year or so after that Became what I called a core developer for the first time When I was invited to participate in the views in Drupal core initiative And so after you know after we successfully got views into core I thought maybe I'll stick around and do some more core core work going forward So, you know, I got working in my free time spending lots of nights and weekends working On things after about a year, you know, I felt really comfortable with the way things work And how you go about you know achieving change and and making progress and in core Which turns out is awful It's largely just the person who is the most stubborn and has the most time to spare gets their way And it took me a long time to learn that so that's what that's what I'm gonna talk about So yeah, so if anyone remembers during the Drupal 8 cycle they once they announced feature freezes happening Drupal 8's coming soon in 2012 so a year after The feature free feature freezes came and gone and now we are then there was a API freeze and That was early 2013 Drupal 8 was right around the corner that came and went so now we are in an API completion phase And by this point with each independent like successive date you know the stakes got higher the pressure got higher and There was a sense of a real sense of urgency that this was a very important thing that we must get done in 2013 and not wait, you know two years till 2015 to actually get it done so so You know working in the issue queue became a very stressful place For for the people who had been working on this for for many many years and I've often thought about how stressful that was but What what I have taken away from this is how much worse it is for for new contributors This was sort of before the the new modern wonderful Drupal mentoring program that kind of has Become the the canonical way to get people kind of involved in a very caring and loving way So this that didn't exist yet there was a particular issue I recall that was a Bounce some code that I wrote opened by another veteran contributor who he said, you know, this is completely terrible We got to fix it, you know like it's garbage and like the Drupal could never work this way And I you know immediately got my back up and was like well, you know what I will tell you this code is wonderful And then nothing, you know, it could ever be wrong with it Unfortunately in the middle was a brand new contributor who decided that he really thought that Drupal was really great and wanted to finally get involved and so he listened to the the person who opened the issue and started to work on this and was sort of you know caught in the crossfire between us veterans and And as anyone who has you know been in the core issue queues There's some like choice issues out there. You can go find where you know people resort to some pretty brutal Verbal tactics that like maybe taken out of context seem polite But are like pretty hurtful when when read in the moment by the people you're writing them to and so You know, I said some things that now if you read go back and read you're like I wasn't that bad But it got bad enough to the point that that new contributor. Oh, thanks. Yeah, that'd be great. I kind of need one of those That that new contributor ended up quitting Not just core, but Drupal all together And you know, I mean they're large like there's got to be other reasons. It's not all my fault. I swear But I do think about that often And it's like, you know, I ended up being right in that I got my way I was the stubbornest one and I took the most time and and just kind of through attrition got what I wanted more everyone down And it's it's a it's funny because it's like a admin UI facing feature And every time I'm building a Drupal site, I click on it. Oh god damn Like I'm glad it looks that way. It's wonderful. But like is that was that that little thing was that worth? Losing, you know a contributor and like how many How many contributors could that person have helped bring in and what changes could could they have? Brought to the project and was that one little thing, you know really worth it And it turns out, you know, I may have been right I may have been wrong. It doesn't really matter it You know it The technical excellence of the project isn't worth sacrificing people And like, you know, I'm still here still I'm working I stopped Contributing largely and in my free time because I'm grateful enough to be paid to do it during my as my day job But every once in a while, you know, it'll be like 5 30 or so and I should be done working And I I open an issue and I try to go find something that was worked on by someone new and really try to give them a first positive first impression to kind of atone for that Because I was I was thinking the The second best Pixar movie Ratatouille In that movie there's the phrase the motto of the one restaurant is anyone can cook and By the end of the movie that you know, the antagonist realizes that Really, it's not that and everyone can become a great cook. It's that a great cook can come from anywhere And I think about that a lot You know being the second best Pixar movie ever made And and so what largely like my initial thing was that you know, I mean, how do I how do I learn? to best kind of empower people who To do good in the in the triple community especially in Drupal core and so I sought out Angie Byron web chick who many people know And I said, you know, I want to work. I want to learn more from her She was kind of the reason I got into triple on the first player triple core in the first place So I applied to work on her team and that's how I got started aquia and I've been there next month will be four years and we still work together and So I would not only you know encourage you to to to better yourself through reflection and thinking about all the terrible things we've all done to other people But also to find someone who's a role model and find someone who you admire and lives Isn't it can be an example to you? And yeah, that's that's all you got. Thanks Hi, everyone. My name is Catherine Mulder I know I have one of those funny names that nobody can ever pronounce So I'm glad it wasn't printed anywhere because it turned into cat or Catherine or Valar David's excellent at that. So my story is somewhat related to previous story I'm one of those people I don't I don't like gotta people like this is like the most uncomfortable place for me to be I would rather be somewhere in a dark corner and talk to maybe two or three people at a time So When I first discovered Drupal back in 2006 I didn't know anybody I had no idea what was going on I figured there's gonna be a bunch of white dudes sitting somewhere hanging out drinking beer making all the decisions And that's how it works, right? I know And they don't want to Drupal con And that was kind of the same thing Except one one minor detail I was staying at the hotel where the code sprint was at And web shake was hanging out in the lobby doing code sprint in the middle of the night They mentioned that my room was right behind the registration next to the elevator. I got no sleep I hated you all I hate you all because you were having fun and that was not my kind of fun and I knew That if this was it I was probably gonna leave Because it wasn't comfortable in any possible way So I stuck around I got my first Drupal job I think it was pretty good at it But I had no way of validating if I was because I would have to ask a white dude if I was any good Because there were no women besides web shake At the time at least that's what it seemed and then It was around the time of Drupal 5 to Drupal 6 And I had decided that our team was going to use domain access and it was going to be great But there was no domain access for 6 yet So I started committed patches one after another And Ken was really nice He didn't tell me that I was wrong or I didn't do it right or You know what I thought how it should work was Not the way to do it and at some point somehow I was go contributor and I was there and it was magical And nobody actually I didn't have to go and ask a white dude if I was allowed to do it He just let me be and by enforcing My behavior he made me feel I was welcome And then that happened again with another project And it was great and suddenly my mindset of I have to ask for an approval became I can do things and maybe somebody can learn from me and So the backtrack a little bit I grew up in Estonia in Estonia women teach men decide right so for most people growing up in America that's slightly backwards Especially for some European companies countries where that doesn't really happen right women are in charge So for me it was so so different So I figured why not I got the time I got the knowledge I think I know what I do So I started contributing More modules and more code and suddenly people actually wanted to participate and give me things back And that was that was great So it's like all right. I got this I got this maybe maybe I can help somebody else But this is where I went wrong I had to come the white dude Right in somehow in the process I started to choose women over men because it was like well women deserve a chance which is all fair But at the same time It's not right Now the women are getting preferential treatment over men just because they're women So I guess what I'm trying to say is You have to check your own biases you start from a point that seems comfortable to you You end somewhere else And you're doing exactly the same you hate That is being done to you So that was back in days of Drupal 6 so we have gotten so much better about being more open and transparent and welcoming But it hasn't been an easy road Like how often does a woman walk around in Drupal con and get asked so are you a themeer? Because a woman can't be a backend developer or a product manager Because you know For the longest time women couldn't code right? We didn't have role models. We had the web check It it's it's been a journey and Another thing I would like to add to this is it is okay to be wrong But also to realize that you are wrong and accept that you're wrong and learn from it It it's hard And you have to admit it And sometimes you cry about it That's it. Thank you So I'm heather radriguez and I currently work at digital services georgia um I am a solutions analyst and former front-end developer But I didn't always want a career in technology like Perhaps many of us in the room in fact where I went wrong was I let other people and my own insecurities dictate my future so When I was in high school um, I came down with chronic fatigue syndrome So I was about 13 years old and I uh I Started sleeping a lot. I was very sick. I couldn't go to school. I had home hospital teaching Um For for for actually a few years Sorry, it's kind of hard to talk about um but As a sort of a trade-off With the home and hospital teaching is that you know, it was really kind of a self-paced curriculum So I really didn't feel like I got the same Chemistry and math and you know the sciences such stuff that other people my age did So I was really insecure about it, but I was also, you know, a fairly you know smart Kid and when I went to college. I went to community college first Because my parents worked there. So I went for free and also, you know, I just wasn't prepared yet I had just gotten back. I as soon as I got healthy I actually signed up as a foreign exchange student went over and lived in berlin germany But like that's another talk that we could have But yeah, so I was just really just you know, like eager to experience the world So I came back and I went to community college and I Took a lot of biology classes because I wanted to be a doctor because I was so sick You know, I wanted to heal other people and I wanted to maybe help people like me who were suffering So I You know, I had a teacher in my community college who really encouraged me and she was you know She was um, she was a doctor herself and she had just moved to the area And so she was kind of like, you know doing the community college teaching is just a you know side gig and she was like, you know You're really good at this stuff. You should really do it. And I was like, I'm gonna do it. All right. Let's do it so I applied to the university of maryland and I got in and as a biology major so I Went to the guidance counselor and I sat down and unbeknownst to me Apparently guidance counselors don't like to deal with community college transfers. They don't really like transfers at all They just want to put you in a little box like, okay. You went to maryland. You check these pre-rex, you know, etc So the guidance counselor looked at What I had, you know, here, you know, here was my like, you know 4.0 from community college and she just kind of looked at it and she just goes Yeah, we're gonna need you to take like calc one we're gonna need you to take um organic chemistry and physics And all of this this semester and then the next semester and she just rattled off the hardest classes possible in a very short amount of time and I learned later that You just don't do that to people. You don't actually tell a freshman, you know, or you know, whatever I was at that point Because I was transferring to take, you know, physics organic chem Calculus all of these things in the same semester necessarily like, you know, you kind of throw in some filler courses, you know So people don't just completely burn out But I was so insecure because I didn't have the same Science background and math background that I buckled and I said, this is this is not me. This I I can't do this I I would be a terrible doctor because you know, I'm just not smart enough and I don't I don't have the background and Yeah, I mean these people all, you know, they all look like they're they're probably going to be better doctors than me, you know, so I uh I cried and then I went over to the English department And I signed up as an English major because I was like, well, hey, I'm really good at reading. I like to read so you know that that was uh So I got my degree in English and you know, I don't I don't regret it and I don't regret the fact that you know, I got an internship at the end of my tenure at the university of Maryland and we Learned how to do html and css and then I started coding and then I had to Participate on this committee to evaluate cms's and that's when I found Drupal so You know, and I don't I'm not saying that I'm wrong about the career path that I'm chosen But I am wrong about letting other people tell me That I couldn't do it when I could because we're all winging it in some way You know, we're you know, you meet learned doctors and you know, it's not like they have all the answers In fact, they're just making it up as I go along too, right? I mean, you know, it's a myth You know that that You know with with hard work and perseverance. We really we can do this right and and I really um I just feel You know so ashamed to admit that That's something that minor completely derailed my career, but Yeah, that's That's what I got listening to all of these I like I'm gonna I'm gonna wing it a little bit of mine because I I'm gonna sort of Throw out some of what I thought I would talk about because I think you all took it to another level So, um My name is josh, uh, I'm a co-founder of pantheon. I've been involved in Drupal since uh 2003 So a lot longer than I would like to admit. I don't know it makes me feel old sometimes, but Um, uh, and I've been so lucky in my life Um, I mean I work really hard and I'm a pretty smart person and I I get along well with other people most of the time But I've been so lucky in my life and I have had so many advantages and privileges and just lucky breaks that have gone well Um, and so when I was thinking about, uh, David's topic originally I'm gonna do like the 60 second version of what I thought I wasn't gonna talk about and then I'm gonna try to Put together something and that's a little bigger picture So I wanted to Tell everybody how often I've like just made like mistakes like like literally Flat out boneheaded mistakes like deleted the database in production mistakes Uh, I've done that And uh, and I think that uh One of the things that I've learned as I've matured in my career I'd like to take my walk back worst mistakes I've made Then dropping a database in production or deploying something that like, you know takes down like hundreds of websites for a few minutes Uh, because I've done that too um worse than that I've been Really uncharitable towards other people when they make those kinds of mistakes Um, like I have you know high standards and I think it's great everyone should have high standards but sometimes I'm not Uh forgiving person and I can be very brusque in my reaction to something that disappoints me And um, I had it has been a long road for me to realize how destructive and toxic that can be In a team environment and how corrosive it can be to building trust Uh between people because if you don't have the room to make a mistake You are gonna slowly Shrivel up and freeze yourself into a box where nothing interesting ever happens because human error is inevitable It will occur and we need to think of ourselves our organizations and our technical systems as Being a resilient system means you embrace the reality of human error and figure out ways to roll forward when it occurs Rather than having to like pull the big red cord and have the screeching alarm go off And everybody run around with chickens with their heads cut off and then somebody gets chewed out in a closed office room And uh, it's been you know, I look back on on my career and I've done a lot of really awesome shit um And the stuff that I've done that's not often awesome has been Being too critical or being critical in a non constructive way Uh, and so um, so that was like kind of my prepared career oriented like hey people make mistakes. It's all good Uh, and I think that's a good thing, but I think everybody here I'm gonna try to tell a short other story about mistakes. Um, that I think will also end on a high note Um after some dramatic tension So one outcome of making mistakes is that you might get your heart broken um And this is sort of the origin story of how I actually found my way into droopal and it kind of comes up to the present day So when I was 23 years old and I was living in um an apartment way out in like the Like right on that gentrifying edge of brooklyn in a neighborhood called green point, which was still mostly full of polish people um living in a Row house that I filled up with all of my friends from college that was originally had like a backyard That was literally a hoarder pile of trash that we cleaned it out and we turned it into a cool backyard And we had barbecues and I went to a performing arts school I have a bachelor of the fine arts, which means my version of imposter syndrome was just fake it till you make it So I got no problem with that um And we were like I was doing web development to Bailey scraped by and pay the rent whatever I could get And I was doing performance art on the side and like Living this like we really kind of cool, but incredibly like stereotypically hipster lifestyle um I met a girl And she was amazing and she was like a little bit older than me like worldly and wise and she was in a band And uh, and we like went dancing and then we like started seeing each other like every You know every other day and it was like this kind of whirlwind romance Like I hadn't really felt since since I was a teenager Right, you know like you kind of have fallen love when you're young like maybe the first time or whatever it is Puppy love and it's this kind of overwhelming all-encompassing thing and that happened to me again And I don't know how or why or what actually triggered that But it kind of you know, you get this weird tunnel vision When you're in that moment, and I was just like this is it. This is so awesome. This person is amazing. It's everything She was she taught chemistry at like the best public school in like Manhattan and it was just like We had amazing chemistry And I was like I had my life that I was working on and I was you know getting involved and doing things with web development I was starting to get involved in politics at the time And I had this plan to move to california for the summer to work on this political project that I was doing And I was she was like cool. That sounds great And I was like, yeah, you want you want to come to cal you have this summer off You want to come to california with me and she was like, I'll think about it And I heard like that sounds like we're moving to california together And like that's so you know, I have this like dream in my head of how that's going to go and you know You can kind of probably tell where the story is going You know Well, wonderful woman is like a few years older than me Has actually a life that she's built up over several years Uh is kind of thinking longer term than maybe I am I'm like thinking maybe like three months out Is the my my the of my event horizon and it came down to like their like uh You know about end of end of may and she was just like, okay I Have been holding on to this and I really hate to tell you this but I'm not coming to california And I was like what and she was like and Probably you should just go and then we shouldn't date anymore And I was like what? And uh, and like you know, I like laid on the floor and cried for an hour And uh, and I was like very broken as a person as a result of that And so uh coming out of that so what did I do? I like threw myself into this project because that's what you do when you've got a broken heart as you find something else To work on and I had been involved in this like anti-war organizing stuff And I'd gotten involved in this political campaign There was primary candidacy of this guy Howard Dean and it was like the internet power candidate And it was like speaking pushing all of my intellectual buttons and like I was a big believer in this and moved to california and like Found some like rich people in california They wanted to fund this thing and started a nonprofit that was going to like stealthily help his campaign on the side um, and like You know really did like got very involved in this it was a life-changing event like it was um, you know I met my my business partners act through that process. I got introduced to drupal through that process I met neil got convinced neil drum to drop out of college through that process um, and uh, and and was like, you know, my whole my heart was full again, and it was like deeply Wetted to this and uh, and then like that my guy like got just fucking shellacked. He lost Uh in a spectacular fashion. Yeah, exactly Haunts my dreams to this day Uh And I got I was heartbroken And I and like in a different way because I got it made me like bitter and jaded and cynical I'm like, man because it was so it was so screwed up how it happened It wasn't fair at all and like then of course would you know, and then we had fucking John Kerry The long-faced bandit and like he wasn't gonna win and we worked for him Anyway, and then he lost just like we thought he would and it was And um And then I took I took some time off after that, which was actually a really good idea I went on a like I went on a road trip with some of my friends We drove all around America and stayed a bunch of national parks and saw a bunch of places we've never seen before and then um at the end of that I was uh super broke and uh, like what actually went back and moved back in with my mom for a little while in Oregon because I didn't have any other place to stay and I was like, all right I bet they're better start working again And it turned out that in that intervening kind of year and a half between the the when campaign stuff wound down like I tried to have it like I had to try to after the campaign stuff wound down in the election I tried to like do a coup against my nonprofit's executive director because like It which did not work that I got like half the staff fired Yeah, uh, we were all sick of it. Anyway, we were we were all out But it was Yeah, we figured it might as well like if we could we'll try to run it our way And if they shoot us down then we'll we'll go but it was burdensome bridges. That was not a that was a mistake So, um Drupal had continued to grow and take off And like, you know, we I had this early experience of you know getting involved first just using this technology for this campaign Which was not I wouldn't care about the community at all because we're just like go go go Let's make websites got to connect people and so forth But eventually figured out that the community was a huge asset and and was involved that Later on and kind of checked back in with the Drupal universe and it turns out you could actually pay your rent with Drupal now Which is awesome. And so I called around to all the people who see me running these Drupal shops And I said, you know, I'm this guy you can check my user number 3313. I've got some commits. I've done some modules I'm legit hire me And Mike from Trellon hired me And uh, that was an interesting experience, but it got me professionally engaged in in Drupal Which got me, you know to where I could move out of my mom's house, which was awesome Uh, and I moved back to Brooklyn and uh, and as I started to work more with this community And started to think like even higher level about what we were all doing here Like my heart started to get full again And I started thinking about all the things that like The internet really would mean for humanity And I had had like it's kind of some early experience with this I like had a a blog back in the day where I would just like tell on myself and like be way Share way over sharing way too much personal information because it was like but it felt like, you know I'm in a position of privilege where I can afford to do that And it feels like kind of living the open source life And as I started to you know see through the group the rise of Drupal how that you know Not that everybody should overshare about their personal information Absolutely not but that there was a way of of being connected as a result of being able to exchange stories and make connections and so forth and I got really really Fell in love with this idea of how this would really change the world and we'd make everything better because we could all connect with each other And I think you might see where this is going I didn't account for the fact that just being able to connect doesn't make people benevolent and there's like in a world where Connections are possible But sometimes the most like people with time on their hands and the biggest access to grind are the ones that can actually get things done You know all the jerks of the world can also get connected and and do bad things like I did not see that coming And I and for me it was actually like watching what happened around Gamergate I don't know how many of you followed that on social media, but that like that broke my heart Because I was like what the internet isn't supposed to be like this But it it can be and so The positive notes that's the dramatic tension the positive note for me is you know Even though that watching that happen in some ways broke my heart I'm still like my heart is filling back up again because now I think we're reaching a level of self-awareness about the risks And about the challenges of toxic online culture and the challenges of you know too much information being centralized in like a Orwellian box and people are actually talking about this and and not just with the kind of starry eyed idealism that I had When I was 23 years old but talking about it in a way that's mature and real and self-aware And my heart is getting full again, and I'm sure it'll get broken again, but my my point is that If you're not willing to risk being wrong You're never going to deploy cool stuff because we too afraid if you drop the database and drop in the database Isn't a big deal. There's always a backup But be be will hopefully Uh Be willing to be wrong At the level that your heart might get broken It's really hard to do. It's really hard to do and getting your heart broken sucks but Go there because that's how really great things happen and then and you're you know, you can't if It's worth it to be in love to it's worth risking getting your heart broken to fall in love with something And and you can't know that you're right in advance So be you know be brave and be willing to make mistakes Be human thanks in absence of a david. I think that's it. Thank you all for listening Um so It's kind of I don't think I necessarily did I just kind of got a little better for a little while and then I got sick again And I got a little better for a little while like certain drugs were more helpful to me and certain drugs were not I have every single Experimentative treatment that was possibly known to human beings at the time including giving myself shots every day um I would say for me like It was just a certain amount of like Building up my tolerance for exercise and for like walking around and stuff and then also Supported with some drugs Like do you want specific games like or because our okay Right right um At that time because we're talking like 97 Yeah, yeah, like I mean there's yeah, I definitely You know, we weren't we weren't making smoothies, right? We were definitely if you're just like, I don't know I don't know this kid throws up all the time. What do you do with it? So yeah, yeah, I appreciate it And Right Right Right right and they just like and and because they don't really know what to do Like yeah And a lot of it is like like they don't really want to be bothered or whatever So they like kind of throw you through this and they're just like, I mean, you know, whatever you're gonna do But like it's not a great idea and you're like, but but wait, but I don't know what I'm doing I'm just like fucking kid, right? Like is that the thing? Yeah, absolutely Oh, okay. Yeah, all right Yeah Yeah, right, right. Yeah. All right, exactly Yeah, good for her. That's awesome. That's so great Right Yeah Well, thanks for sharing your story with me Right, right. Yeah, well, we might need to be moving You're so clever with my puns All right, there's Shannon. Let's do the thing. Hello there You're doing well yourself I'm all set. Oh, yeah It's a pleasure to start Right on. Thank you So I know it's a little early but For folks that want to pay attention to some of the commands you might see You might want to come closer to the front because I noticed this is a little small Just a pro tip. Oh, to follow along? Maybe? Yeah. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with following along I'll also be providing the Link to the slides after the presentation is done. So you have those as notes So you don't need to take copious notes Oh, very good. Yeah. All right. All right. Cool It is. Yeah, no problem Yeah All right, cool This is gonna be great and then I'll have to help you fix it after the talk's over So I'll I'll make myself available for that as well. I'm sure No, there's no undoing infrastructure. Maybe there should be Maybe there should be Yeah, yeah, maybe that that that should be like the next tool like command z Oh, yeah, let's get that teed up and make sure that works and then Oh No, well actually, no, yes, I do. I have a little video clip Um, so is there like a little oh, this is it right here. Thank you so much All right, let's turn the volume down before I blow everyone out of the sky Well, you never you never know. Um, I mean it is like the 215 people are the blood sugars going down and stuff All right, let's get Hey randar running outputs hdmi active All right, what's the resolution on this bad boy? 19 Okay, I'm gonna do 1080 on both of my displays So that way I can just line them up And apply Let there be light. I know it's linux. Oh, thank goodness It works. Okay, and then I'll play a quick Yeah