 So, where were your nerves when we started, like, scale of one to ten? Mmm, like a solid seven and a half. Where's that now? Like a three. Progress. Right, right. Progress. Okay. Ultimately. So, where do you want to start? I always find this good, like, if the main person asks me questions first. You want me to ask you questions? Yeah, ask me questions. And then we'll segue into me asking questions. Because I got all the questions for you. I'm trying to figure out what questions I have, though. Okay, so can it be a question, like, what was the goal of this conversation? Mmm-hmm. Okay. Sure. Um... That was coming down. It is. It really is. I know you can't see it's dark out there. So, the big thing, like, as you know, like, relations between black men and black women is fucked up right now. Mmm-hmm. And enough of this doesn't happen. Mmm-hmm. And I think part of that, from my vantage point as a black man, I don't think enough of us are good enough communicators. And on the flip side, like I said before, I don't think enough of y'all. I don't think enough of y'all are good enough listeners. Wow. So, I mean, we're using, like, the conversation we had on Instagram to, like, push the conversation, like the bigger conversation. But, like, the bigger conversation is, like, why can't we get along? Why can't we find each other? So, I'm gonna throw that back to you. I think that stems honestly. Man, it's a lot of things. But one of the main things, I think, is expectations and... This wine is a shit. Yeah, it's really good. What were we talking about a second ago? Just, like... Expectations? Oh, when I was in the bathroom? No. Uh-uh. Not expect... So expectations and standards. Standards, y'all. Yeah, like, that goes hand in hand to me. I don't know. I feel like, so, from... Like, I was telling you, I have a niece. Little girl watches, you know, Disney movies. From a young age, we're taught to want to be princesses to a prince. You know, that we're taught to seek. And that true love, you know, exists. So, we're from, you know, before we can even really think for ourselves, we have this image of love that's put in front of us. And it set us the goal. And so, I feel like in some ways that does prime women. And then, I mean, when you get out into society, too, you know, to a large degree, women are expected to desire relationships and desire a man for, you know, to just get straight to the point. So, men don't have that same... Priming. Priming, yeah, or pressure. It's not there. So, that's how it's thrown off from jump. So, why do you think that pressure's on y'all, but not on us? What's the reason? Cardi B voice. Probably a patriarchy. Didn't you say you don't like that term? Patriarchy? I think it's a cover all term. I think it's a way people deflect from actually getting to the point. Okay. So, I mean, for a long time in our history of society, women were seen as property, right? A woman couldn't really do anything without a man. So, for a while, you know, your ability to even do anything was tied to a man. You know, you weren't even seen as really a member of society where you were mizes, whatever. So, that was literally the identity of women. Now, I think we're pulling away from that and it's causing a bit of upheaval for people who want to keep a traditional view, so to speak, of what womanhood is and all those things. And I don't want to get too far off the topic, but... No, that is the topic. Take your time. Yeah, I mean, I just feel like women have... People consistently try to put us into a box of what it is to be a woman and what it is to, you know, what we can and can't do and what we should and shouldn't do. And it's a lot of that comes from a male-dominated society. And that's why I say patriarchy, so... You ready for me to push back? Oh, gosh. Not really. Not really. No, no, no. Let me sip. Oh, gosh. So it's not a pushback. It's more so like... I always start things with biology. I think biology is the foundation. A lot of our biological programming are also like the building blocks of our societal programming. So I think the reason why women are pressured to seek companionship in a man in the whole nine because our ultimate why are we here as humans is to procreate. Okay, I see where you're going. Unfortunately, women have a smaller window than men based on what society and biology values in women and men. So biology values men that are strong and can hunt and shit like that. Back in the day, now it's about your ability to earn an income and your ability to lead and things like that. And as we get older, gain experiences, those things increase. Biology values women by their ability to procreate. On a foundational level. As women get older, those things decrease. So I think the reason why most girls are going to hear you need to get married before you're 30, before you're 40 is because that is called sexual marketplace value based on biology and then based on society is highlighted that as the roller coaster is starting to go down. Now, I think what's happening now is we're restructuring society to cater to a different definition of gender roles and a different definition of each of our responsibilities. But unfortunately, as a species, we haven't advanced that much since caveman times. Like brain-wise, we're relatively the same as caveman. Really? You think so? Absolutely. Psychologists say it too. The reason why, for instance, there's this surge in anxiety is because it's not because our ancestors didn't have anxiety, but it's because they were able to compartmentalize their anxiety. The anxiety is that jungle over there and there's a line in that jungle that might fuck me up. There are no jungles anymore, so the line is everywhere. That's because our brains haven't caught up to the current realities. That's what I think it is. I think it all starts with biology and we're trying to push back at it. But by and large, though, we do have technologies that far exceed the strict biological time frames, meaning a woman can freeze her eggs. Sure. She can have kids without a man. Sure. So there are so many other options and avenues to the common objective or what you say was the determining factor of women's, was it? But see, those things are still like alternatives. So you're saying people want to be old school about it? Everybody wants to be old school. I mean, I guess it's seen as the outlier. You only do that if you can't do it the old school way. And you know, the funny thing is like... But the options still exist, though. The options exist. I always had this nagging, I don't know if you call it an anxiety or uncertainty or insecurity that I might not be able to have kids. No physical reason. No biological reason. I'm good health-wise. I mean, I know I can now. But I always knew for me, if it never happened, I would have felt like a failure in life. So even though it happened for me under less than ideal circumstances, it's still better than being a rich 60-year-old and not having any kids. So like I said, biology is still biology. And we're not that much far removed from our ancestors. We're not, even with the technology. I mean, I would have to agree with you there. It is an alternative and it's only if you can't do it the natural way. Well, I won't say only. Because some people are naturally curious and open to things like that. I would say status quo-wise, you know, regular and old school is the preference. Yeah, old school is the best way. You're right. Okay. So let me throw a question at you. Because what we were talking about was like certain men being intimidated by you. How do you feel like, you know, the advancements we've made in society as far as women can vote, women can own property, women can achieve and black women are killing it. How do you feel like that has positively and negatively affected the love experience? And you can talk from yourself like as an anecdotal experience or like the big picture. Man, okay. So how have the advancements for women impacted the dating experience? I mean, matching and all that jazz. I don't know. I feel like women have, I don't know, I feel like I can't. If you consider like women's role throughout history, we've always had to be there. So whether a man is there or not, whether, you know, you sick, you healthy, you have to do it. You got to get it done. And I think black women by and large have taken that pressure so to speak. And we've ran with it. And for various reasons, whatever it may be, we find ourselves, we may find ourselves having to still push, you know, beyond and in obtain whether that be degrees, businesses, whatever. And I think that's just to drive in women, black women to do those things for as far as how that has impacted the dating scene. I don't know. I think it's impacted, of course, positively and negatively, duh. But as far as how positive wise, I think men who are open to it can honestly see their spouses now like a partner, like not somebody that you have to take care of, but somebody that's hustling as hard as you. And like really, when y'all get together, you could really go, you know, further because what's better than, you know, somebody that you can love and grow with and build with, you know, like that's exciting. So I think that aspect has, you know, been a positive experience from a negative perspective. It does come with the intimidation aspect for men who may not necessarily be where they would like to be when they meet you. What you got playing? Finish it. Finish it. So the intimidation factor is rather annoying because it's, I feel like it's self-imposed by men. I mean, if you have a woman who's telling you like, okay, like you're not there yet, but okay, but tell me the goal. Show me the roadmap. You know, what do you have laid out? How are you going to get there? If you can lay out that type of vision, then even a woman who is further than you may still be willing to say, okay, cool, I'm all right with you on that. I'll stand by you on that, you know, because like I was saying, if you're up, you can be down. So from a monetary perspective or a perspective of possessions, if you have it, you can lose it. So at no point, I'm speaking for myself, do I feel like, you know, because I have this, I'm better than somebody. So I don't see it as a negative thing, but I think men can see it as a negative thing because they're in their head so much. Where it's like, you really need to analyze what I'm saying to you as a woman who's, you know, interested in you or talking to you or really trying to explain to you like, I'm okay with building, like just show me the roadmap. And I think that comes from him not necessarily being confident in who he is and what his roadmap is. Because it's one thing to want it, but it's a totally different thing to have the ground and go get it. And, you know, he may talk a good game, but when it comes to presenting those blueprints, you're coming up short. So then I think that's where the, oh man, she knows she's going to think she's better than me. You know, that type of mentality may come into play. Yeah, you said a lot of good stuff. I did say a lot. But see, I told you, I'm talking about it. No, but it was quality. It was quality. I'm going to go back to what I said about biology. The truth is we haven't evolved that far. We haven't evolved that much. And I think part of what's happening. So for instance, I was reading the other day that the demographic with the fastest growth for highest growth and suicide rate is white men. White men. White men. The face of the patriarchy or white privilege are the ones killing themselves at the highest rate. And reading further, what's actually happening is that it's one thing to be born blind. That sucks. But to be born with sight and then be blinded sucks a lot more because you know what you're missing. So what's happening is because of demographic shifts and things like that, white men have been dethroned from their position of privilege and power to a position of like, damn, I need to figure out what my utility is. I was making $60,000 a year as a truck driver. Nobody needs truck drivers anymore. So now I can't provide for my wife and now she's left me because she makes more money than I do. She doesn't need me to be handy around the house. She doesn't need the things that classically men have brought to the table are almost like less relevant now. And that's from like physical things all the way down to like sexual things. Like I've got the rabbits and the Sabian machines and the old nine. And I think why that's relevant is like, like I said, men haven't evolved. We haven't evolved that much, but we're trying to dialogue with an evolving world. So as great as it sounds to be like, you know, let's grow. It doesn't sound good to men. Dang, that's crazy. Because our role for millennia since the beginning of time. And again, like these are things that have been established over thousands of years and are going to change over 10 years, right? Our role has been, I'm going to build the house. You come in and decorate that motherfucker, make it home, make it comfortable. When I come in, I want to see if I'm good on the stove. Exactly, exactly. And that's still unfortunately, because I don't think it's a good thing, but that's still ingrained into the psyche of a man. So the mere fact that a nigga can't build the house is emasculating. Damn. The mere fact that I have to get the blueprint from you is emasculating. So like, and I hear a lot of women talk about like the whole Bonnie and Clyde, we go build together. It doesn't sound good to men. It's not a good proposition. It's because, I mean, unfortunately the truth is, whether you look at it biblically, biologically or whatever the case may be, whether you believe in traditional gender roles, there are roles. Both people can't do the same job. Both people can't have the final say. Both people can't have the last right of refusal. So like with that being said, it was easier back when I made more money. But see, y'all acted up. When y'all had that type of privilege, y'all acted up, which is why we had to be like, you know. So, you know, now, of course, I don't want to work. You know what I mean? But I do. But when you give somebody the ability to feed you, you give them the ability to starve you. And y'all have way too much, you know, fences behavior going on where, hey, I did this, it is what it is and what you're going to do, you're going to leave. So what if you do, you know, type attitude? Nah, that's dead. Nah, I agree with you. I think what happened though is like, men didn't understand that there's a monetary value to what women bring to the table. Like outside of the nice stuff, like if you hire an interior designer, you know how much that costs. If you hire a babysitter, you know how much that costs. If you hire a daycare educator, you know how much that costs, a fucking housekeeper, a cook. These are expensive things and you have somebody who does that. And I think that's what men fucked up because we didn't understand the value of that. And therefore, the only way women could think to measure up was to do it the same way we do. And I mean, when we talk about like what happened with, I think it was World War II when all the men went off, that's when women started working. And they were like, oh, this is all y'all been doing this whole time and like rubbing it in our face. And now we're here. But again, those are white people. A lot of times. A lot of white people. A lot of times. A lot of shit. White people did. White men did and white women complained about. We have almost adopted it as us. We had a similar experience though because Grandpa might have had a couple of kids down the street and Grandma was expected to stay. And oh, well, at least he paying the bills, girl. At least he bringing home the bacon, so to speak. Right? So when we gave y'all that ability to feed us and the kids, y'all acted up. But we still fed y'all. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And that's still, they were missing back then and we continue to miss today for that very reason. Because to your point, you say women don't listen to men. But like I said, nobody feels hurt. A woman feels like I'm telling you it's okay. Like I'm telling you, I know as a man, you don't want to feel emasculated. I know as a man, you want to feel like a leader. And I'm telling you, I'm woman enough to be cool where you at right now. Because I can see the vision. If you could show me the vision, I could see where you going. And you know. Can I ask you a question? Sure. So. That's not like if you're trying to be a rapper or nothing crazy though. I mean, that could be an honorable career choice. I think it's a bullshit career choice. But here's my question. Okay, I'm just trying to be fair. Let's say, okay, we're living in a $40,000 house. You're a doctor. I'm a rapper. You're an inspiring sound cloud artist. You said $400,000? Yeah. $300,000 mortgage. And you're a doctor. You make $300,000 a year. You're doing fine. All right. I make my $40,000. Can you not be a rapper though? Okay, I'm an average black man. I make $37,000 a year. Okay, cool. Obviously, you're paying the majority of the mortgage. Obviously. Obviously, you're paying the majority of the bills. Mm-hmm. When a financial decision needs to be made, who has the last say? I think that's where I believe that it can be honest dialogue. There's going to have to be some give and take on each side. And I think if you approach it from that perspective, then everybody can, you got to give and take. I think a relationship is give and take. And I think men, y'all sometimes want to rule with the iron fist when it's like, but for why? Because I could have a valid and honest and an opinion that honestly can yield a better result than what you're thinking. But because you're the man, you feel like I need to have the final say. And if you say I don't have the final say, then you don't value me as a man. Nah, but sometimes if what you're saying doesn't make sense, I have the ability to be like, nah, babe, that, that. What about if we try it this way? And I know it's a lot about delivery. I can't be like, you're a dumbass. I can't say all that. But I can say, well, babe, you know, I was thinking, hear me out. What do you think about this? I feel like if you made $300,000 a year and he made 40, you would have a lot more bass in your voice. Let me tell you something. Okay, but listen. Let me tell you something. We're not talking about large jumps. This is what we're doing. We're not talking about large jumps. Like that's a very large jump. Like I think that's a very dramatic jump. Statistically speaking, most black men, like when we're talking about like Kevin Samos, and that's kind of like where we're going, right? I actually looked it up. Like there's a, I think it was in the Wall Street Journal. They had like a demographic chart where you can filter it by like race and ethnicity and gender and shit like that. And figure out what percentile you're in based on your salary. Okay. People who make $100,000 a year, 10% of the population. That's not a lot. When you control for race, when you say black people. Shoot. That's like 5% of the population. Okay. When you then say black men, it's like 3% of the population. What is? Then. So that's an NBA to NFL. Then when you start controlling for that, you got to control for men who are heterosexual, who are interested in women. You have to control for men who are relatively attractive or stylish, whatever the fuck women like. Then you have to control. There we go. And then you have to control for men who are, you know, seeking monogamy. Right. Because the entertainers, they're not seeking monogamy. They like the life. Then you have to control for a man who's at least taller than you. Yeah. The symbology again, like you can say I'll do it short nigga, but if a nigga isn't at least taller than you, or at least your height. At least as tall. Oh yes. Anyway, I've had a lot of conversations with any woman. It's not going to give. You don't feel like you got to pick him up and put him on your hip. And then when you then control for, after all that control for a man who is attracted to you. Uh huh. Right. You're talking .0001% of the population. Right. You know, so I say all that to say, it's tough out here for women. And it's important to know that like men don't think the way that y'all do. Yeah. And we don't value the things that y'all value. No. And unfortunately, we're both still superficial, just not in the same way. I care a lot about how you look. Right. You care a lot about what kind of life Can you provide? Can I provide for you? Can I provide for you? Because women, what I realized, what I learned, you know, as I've matured in my pimping. What happened? What I've learned is like, women more so remember how you make them feel. Absolutely. Than anything else. Absolutely. Whereas men, you know, it's still kind of how you make us feel, but it's more so an ego thing. But like for y'all, it's less about what I said or how I said. Like have you heard that Givion snippet? Uh-uh. It's a song he's about to drop called Tryna Be. But literally like if you listen to the lyrics, he's talking about like, I want to be faithful, but these holes out here and they want me. But the way he sings it, you forget that's what he's saying. Like I sent this to some people. I sent this to some people and they were like, this is beautiful. I was like, did you listen to the lyrics? Like no. Like go back and listen to the lyrics. Damn, that's fucked up. So like for women, it tends to be like, I see what you did there. How does this make me feel? Yeah. And I think that's part of the reason why we don't hear each other sometimes. Absolutely. Wow. I mean, hey, I have to agree with that. I 100% have to agree with that because women are, we're emotional. Now I will say I think men are more emotional than women. How so? They express their emotions more. So when you say more emotional, do you mean? I think y'all just, you, it's so, everything is so...