 The Jack Benny program quality of product is essential to continuing success Lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw LSMFT LSMFT LSMFT today tomorrow and always lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so Fully packed so free and easy on the draw in a cigarette It's the tobacco that counts and lucky strike means fine tobacco Yes, first last and always lucky strike means fine tobacco the finer the lighter the naturally milder lucky strike tobacco So for real deep down smoking enjoyment smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike Broadcasting for the military personnel at Fitzsimmons Hospital in Denver, Colorado the lucky strike program starring Don Wilson With Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Larry Stevens and yours truly Jack Benny It gives me great pleasure to introduce a man whose voice is familiar to millions a man whose personality and charm has Captivated the listening audience of America a man whose good humor and contagious laughter has brought sunshine and happiness Into homes from coast to coast the star of the lucky strike program Don Wilson Wilson talking and Jack. I want to thank you very much for introducing me as the star. You're welcome You're welcome. It's the last time I'll ever play gin rummy with you It's silly states. Well, it's your own fault. You won't play for money That's not how to introduce you but down. Why are you so anxious to be the star of the show tonight? Jack it's a matter of pride. You see we're broadcasting from Denver, Colorado and Denver happens to be my home town Oh, well done. You should have told me come on fellas. Let's give them another hand So you were born right here in Denver a done. That's right Jack. Well, you've gone a long way since then I bet your folks are very proud of you being a big radio announcer. Well, frankly Jack. They're just a little disappointed Disappointed yes when I was born my father thought I was going to be a jockey For heaven's done a jockey only weighs about 97 pounds. Well, that's what I weighed when I was born Yes, I should have known. I'll bet your bassinet was the only one equipped with a block and tackle What a baby the block and tackle must have come in handy for talcum powder operation Hey, John, Jack you can get me all you want to but I was the cutest baby you ever Yes, sir. Hey, here's a picture of me when I was eight months old. Let's see that Don Well, I'll be darned that is cute. There you are writing on your father's back. No, Jack No, that's my father writing on my back. Yeah, I got mixed up because his feet were dangling there Anyway, Donna must make you very happy to be back in your own hometown and to show you jack. Hi fellas Oh, hello, Mary. I've never seen you looking so sweet and that two-piece outfit you're wearing It's terrific. Well, thanks Jack. I'm glad you like it You know the skirt is made of nylon from a parachute the skirt made out of nylon from a parachute. Yeah, what about the jumper? Oh, he got away. I Didn't mean that. Anyway, that's a cute idea making a skirt No, really, it's cute making a skirt out of an old parachute. It looks so say me What's that string hanging down the side? That's a rip cord. And don't you dare touch it? Oh Oh Well, anyway, you look nice a married. You know what? I just found out Denver is Don's hometown. That's right, Mary I was born here. I know a Don and I even wrote a poem in your honor. Oh, you did Mary. Well, that was very nice of you It certainly was let's hear it. Okay To you Don Wilson our announcer we love you all yes every pound sir Well from the front or from the back so round so firm so fully packed That's cute, you know to celebrate this great event. We'll have a party in a tent You'll get a cake with all the trimmings from the boys here at Fitzsimmons. Good. I'm hungry So congratulations to you kiddo for being born in Colorado Colorado that don't blend it's too late now. This is the end applause Really clever and Don I don't want to make you feel bad in your hometown But they think a lot of me here too. In fact Denver took a little hint from st Joe, what do you mean Jack? What do I mean? I'm talking about my welcome to Denver Didn't you notice anything when we drove through the streets from the station to the hotel? Well, all I noticed was that it was snowing snowing How do you like that the Chamber of Commerce told me it was confetti Why do I fall for those things? I had to fill up my pockets with it yet But confetti or no confetti. I like Denver. Yes I remember playing the Orpheum Theater 20 years ago I played here one week and when I had to leave there were tears in my eyes I wish the police department would stop using that stuff Yeah, 20 years ago Jack, what are you talking about? Oh nothing, Mary? I was just reminiscing Come in And mr. Benny. Yes, my name is Mervin van Dyke and I'm from st. Joe, Missouri Well, I was in st. Joe last week. Yes, that's why I'm here the people of that fair city Have voted to place a statue of you in our public park a statue of me Well, gee, this is an honor. Where do I have to go to pose for this statue? Oh, you don't have to go any place I'm the sculptor and I'm going to make it right here. But look, I'm on the air now You just can't make a statue of me. Oh, yes, I can Hey boys bring in that clump of clay Look mr. Van Dyke, why can't we do this one side mr. Benny? Okay boys lay it right there Look mr. Van Dyke, you can't leave that clump of clay here. Now. Why can't we now mr. Benny? I'm ready to start if you'll just hold still I'll take one look at you and one look at this clump of Say this isn't going to need much changing after all Van Dyke, well, this will only take a few weeks now. Wait a minute. Let me look at that Look mr. Van Dyke, you mean to say you're gonna make a statue of me out of this top fingering my clay I wasn't fingering it now if you'll wait till my show was over. I'll be only too happy. Hello, mr. Benny. Hello everybody. Oh, hello Larry Mr. Benny, what's that man doing over there? Oh, he's making a statue of me a statue of you just like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln Yes, sir. Gee mr. Benny. What did you do? He found a way to go from Fitzsimmons to Denver in 12 minutes That includes a short stopover at the Yucca Club There who wants to go to Denver anyway Mary that's enough now Larry the boys here anxious to hear you sing a song. So let's have it okay Oh, mr. Benny wait a minute there. What is it now? Mr. Van Dyke? I'm starting on your head first Would you mind combing your hair? My hair is comb, but then for heaven's sakes must it up. I can't stand it that way Look, I've worn it this way for 50 36 years And I'm not gonna change now Larry go ahead and sing will you yes, sir That statue doesn't have muscles on it. There's gonna be trouble It's the end of a story The same old story All the stars in their glow night will borrow the scent of dresses and clothes The sights around Denver, you know Buffalo Bills tomb or pikes peak. Oh, yes I was up on pikes peak yesterday. You were yeah, and you know something mr. Benny when I got up on the top I could hardly get my breath Well, certainly so you seek you that's on account of a high altitude it is golly I thought it was because I ran all the way up. It's logical Oh, mr. Benny all for heaven's sake aren't you finished with that statue yet and not quite I'm starting to chisel out your legs now. Would you mind squatting down a little and holding your legs apart? But that's such a that's such a ridiculous pole when you're alone Yes, but I'm cutting it this way. So if we ever find an empty horse we can slide him under you First place you're making the legs out of proportion. Look right here. My knees are not fingering my clay Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll let you start your girls and boys get ready to leap with joy because here comes Mrs. Harris's curly headed boy Say Jackson who's that guy standing over there in the white coat in the beret? Oh, he came here from st. Joe He's a sculptor a sculptor. What's he doing giving you a sculpt treatment? That's how this mountain there is sharpens your wit I certainly Jack, you know Denver's one of the highest cities in the world. That's right Jackson the minute we got here My nose started bleeding my nose blood a little too. Gee, mine did too What a bunch of sissies nothing happened to my nose when I got here Yeah, I know but one drop of your blood forced itself to the surface turned around and saw it wasn't being followed sang two courses of I walk alone and crawl back in Stop with those guys. I was only kidding you Jackson You know, I've learned a lot on this trip, you know traveling sure is educational I can imagine how much it must have helped you well It has now for instance today. I've seen the Colorado River and gee Jackson. It's interesting You know it flows along and it comes to a big bunch of dams and after that it flows into a big reservoir and Confidentially Jackson you want to know something what people drink that stuff Well fail this may amaze you but you know that there are millions of people in this country who drink nothing But water how do you like that? And they don't even advertise the stuff Love fell. Oh, mr. Bennet now what would you loan me your handkerchief your statues nose is bleeding Everybody has to be a comedian here Say Phil, did you know there used to be a famous restaurant here in Denver called the Silver Dollar? There was uh-huh In fact, it became famous because the entire floor was inlaid with Silver dollars and the walls were Jack come back here That was years ago And give me back my hammer-and-chisel I only wanted to scratch my back with it that's all say let me how come you know so much about Denver Oh, don't tell me you know he was born here Wilson born. I thought he spoke to one him in a laundry raffle They'll don't be so smart will you and you guys can kid all you out of it I was a pretty cute baby and I was smart too. Why when I started talking. I was only five months old You were talking at five months Certainly, I used to look up in my mother's eyes and say dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad dad Dad dad dad dad dad dad dad what were you saying L West MF Tweed MF Tweed and your mother your mother knew what that meant. Yes. Wucky strike means fine tobacco Wucky yes, so wound and so firm and so free and easy on the door Well, don't I'm sure that I am my sponsor agree that you were a very smart baby and take your finger out of your mouth Now Phil let's have a band number before a minute. Just a minute. Mr. Van Dyke stop interrupting my program You can do my statue later, but I just finished one leg down to your foot Would you mind slipping off one of your shoes and socks so I can take a look at your toes, mr. Van Dyke? I told you I'm not going making your stature. So do what he says. Oh, all right look at my toes Hmm five just like everybody else Expect to find a bunch of bananas Look at that silly statue look right here fingering my clay I was just trying to give myself a dimple. Well, you haven't got a dimple there and number with you Maybe you'll scare this guy away. Okay, Jack drives me nuts Frankie is guitar for treat for the boys here at the Simmons and for governor Vivian of Colorado is with us I will play a violin solo. Oh, no Jackson. No Jackson Locked me in a room with Spike Jones, but not that that new tune for the boys the one you rehearsed this morning Didn't sound bad at all. No, Mary. I better play the one that you mean Jackson learn how to play a new tune Yeah, he learned it this morning this morning. I didn't hear him. I know Don. It was before the regular rehearsal I went over to the Brown Palace Hotel to pick Jack up and fact I got there before Jack and Jack was still asleep Almost time for rehearsal. I better go in and wake up the boss. Oh, he needs a little rest What anything that jingles bowls or has a trading value This hotel has laundry service. This is a classy hotel Okay, I'll tell him Don't go. Mr. Bennett's just got to stop hanging his underwear out the window. Kiss me had he Come here Paulette Let me put my arms around you You too Lana kiss me Why man he lives like a lamb and dreams like a wolf No, it's not that I don't love you Lana, but you know boss wake up. You're getting yourself involved. Oh, oh, it's you Rochester Yeah, you better get dressed. You'll be late for rehearsal. Oh, yeah, we got a show to do it fit Simmons Hospital That's right boss. I better call downstairs nor your breakfast. Okay Operator get me a room service, please Room service. This is mr. Benny's room. Send up some grapefruit juice small glass I Small part real small bowl and make out the check while you're in that small Is there any messages for me while I was asleep? Yes, boss the manager of the hotel where you stayed in st Joe Cole, uh-huh, so I told him it was a mistake and you didn't take it away intentionally good Put those quarters in the radio. You thought you owned it Well, we'll send it back Come in everybody's waiting to rehearse. I'll be down in a few minutes. See Mary I was just thinking about the broadcast. We're gonna do it fits him in hospital You know, I'd like to do something different for the boys this week I think I'll play a violin solo for heaven's sake Jack. You're not gonna take that fiddle with you. Certainly. I'm gonna take it Say I wonder if I need a new violin. You don't even need the one you got Never mind and hand it to me. You know, I think I'll know I'll learn that new song. That's how Accentuate the positive now. Let's see Let's see how how does that go Mary? You gotta accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative. Oh, wait a minute. I think I got it now. Wait. Let me just try it. Just like this Wait a minute, boss. Wait a minute. Let me show you how it goes. Listen to this. Okay Got to accentuate the positive Eliminate the negative That's all you need Don't mess with mr. In between You've got to spread joy up to the maximum I'm getting a ride down to the minimum in a page or Pandemonium Policy to illustrate my last remark Don't in the way What did they do? Man, they said you've got to accentuate John Don't mess with they have a word with you women of America Regarding the new whack hospital units Our wounded men are returning from overseas at the rate of thirty thousand a month That's one thousand every day And at this very moment every army nurse must handle twenty six hospital beds This is twice as many beds as one nurse can take care of efficiently That's why at least eight thousand more whacks are needed immediately for hospital units Now I strongly urge you eligible women to join the women's Army Corps now And be trained to assist our overburdened doctors and nurses Apply at the nearest US Army recruiting office or write the adjutant general Unitions building Washington DC. Thank you very much. First here are my good friends Effie Boone and Kenneth Elmar That's what I did Listen to the words of an expert a tobacco expert with 21 years experience Here is what mr. Fred L. Evans an independent tobacco buyer of Danville, Virginia, San I know the kind of tobacco lucky strike buys Naturally then when it comes to choosing a cigarette for myself I go by what I see at the auctions so I've been smoking luckies for 15 years It takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette and lucky strike means fine tobacco Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco the famous tobacco auctioneers heard on tonight's programmer mr. Effie Boone of Lexington, Kentucky And mr. L. A. Speed Riggs of Goldsboro, North Carolina Oh That's a rise deal speaking for the makers of lucky strike Mft ls mft Ls Mft for real deep down smoking enjoyment smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike So round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Folks this winds up our broadcast at the Simmons Hospital in Denver, and I'm sure glad the boys invited us out here We were with you again next Sunday night at the same time tomorrow night We'll be seeing you fellow station that camp Carson and Peterson Field in Colorado Springs So until then say mr. Benny now what I'm almost through with your statue. Do you have a hole in the top of your head? The hole in the top of my head why well if you have I can make this into a fountain. Oh go away. Good