 Hey everyone, welcome to another Narc Survivor Live video. I'm here at Patong Beach in Phuket, Thailand. So we're going to have a discussion video, the reason why the narcissist has to hurt you as much as possible. I want to start off by saying something very important. Something that I think everyone should take note of, because this was something that I didn't know in the beginning. But when I found this out, everything made sense. You cannot give someone something that you don't already have yourself. You cannot give someone something that you don't already have yourself. Just let that sink in for a moment. This is especially true for emotions. You can't make someone feel hurt unless you already feel hurt yourself. So anytime that you're around the narcissist and we've all been through it, you're having a good day, you feel good, you woke up on the right side of the bed. Everything's great. But then you see the narcissist and of course they've always got something to say. They've always got something to make you feel bad. But here's the thing, you can't give something to someone that you don't already have yourself. Emotions are very contagious, which is why even if they're not directly trying to hurt you or trying to make you feel down, you may feel that way anyway because that's how they feel inside and you pick up on that vibration. It affects you, brings you down. The reason why the narcissist has to hurt you as much as possible because within them is so much pain, so much hurts and it just never goes away. It's like they're living in hell every day. Every day is Groundhog's day for the narcissist. Every day is full of pain and I'm not saying that to make you feel sorry for them. I'm just saying it so that you can understand. This is why they want to hurt you as much as possible because they feel that pain already inside of them and it's like no matter what they do, they can never resolve it. It never goes away and that's why as you may notice whenever they come around you, all they're ever trying to do is dump their stuff onto you. They're always trying to make you feel down because that's exactly how they feel. You just have to decide and make that choice to not be someone else's emotional punching bag, to not be something that someone else just uses to take out their emotions, their feelings about themselves. You have to make that choice today. As empaths, we do tend to attach to people. We want to help them. A narcissist wants people to attach to them, but instead of attaching to a narcissist and identifying with what they're saying about you, taking on their emotions, start being aware of the separation between you and them. That's how you break the enmeshment by realizing that you are two separate people and then it will no longer affect you as much as it did before. Realize that there is a separation between you and them. The narcissist sees us as extensions of them. They pull us in. They want enmeshment. They may not want to attach to you, but they make you attach to them. And it becomes a real problem because we just accept the pain and what we should do is deny it. Realize that the pain is not ours. It does not belong to us, but also be very cautious because it's almost like they need you to take on their pain. And when you realize that separation, they will drive them crazy because they need to dump it onto you. They need someone to be that emotional punching bag. And if you're not going to be that for them, then suddenly they have to deal with it. But then they're not going to deal with it. They'll just become even more aggressive. They may even physically attack you if you're not willing to own their stuff. So yes, be very cautious around the narcissist when you notice that separation. It's hard. It is because the truth is, and what a lot of coaches may not tell you, is that anything that's good for you, anything that really protects or defends you, anything that helps you is naturally going to be bad for the narcissist. And it may trigger them to attack you, whether verbally or physically. So it can be very difficult to give advice on this sometimes. You have to take what I'm saying with a grain of salt and determine how it may work for you in your situation. Because of course, narcissists are very dangerous people. And you do have to be very cautious when you are dealing with them. They can be very unpredictable. There's no telling how they might react when you pull back. When you stop giving in to them. When you stop accepting their stuff. I hope that this has been helpful for you. This is a discussion video, so please let me know below any experiences you've had. But the narcissist tried to hurt you as much as possible. What did they do? How did you respond? What happened after that? I'd like to hear from you below. Stiles says, mine literally broke me down. And I hate him for it. I've detached from him. That's good. You know, that's what really helps is when you focus on that detachment. I mean, attachment doesn't always have to be a bad thing. I know Buddha has said that attachment is the root of all suffering. But then it often depends what you're attaching to. If you're attaching to a narcissist, that's not going to be any good for you. So it is good to focus on that separation. Fernando says, she kept me from seeing my kids. Yes, they will use the kids to hurt you. They'll just use anything within their power to cause whatever pain that they can to you. Stanley says, Narc Brother gave death threats. If he comes to my property, he'll be arrested. Yeah, you have to set consequences for what these people are trying to do to you. It's especially good if you have a law on your side. Because unfortunately, for a lot of victims of this, the law is not on their side. A lot of people don't understand this. Siobhan says, parental alienation is the narcissist's greatest weapon. It really is. They love to alienate you to the children. The children become the narcissist's flying monkeys, often from a very young age. And it's sad. It's sad that they're not allowed to develop their own opinion of you. Because of course, the narcissist has to control the narrative. They want everyone to see things the way that they do. Anyway, that's all for this discussion video. I hope that it has been beneficial to you. Please give this video a thumbs up. It really helps with the algorithm. So if you can't donate to support our community, please just click the thumbs up button. It's not going to cost you anything. And it will really help our community to grow. People who have been in the same situation as you. People who are victims of narcissistic abuse. So if my work has benefited you, please give something back to our community. All you have to do is just click that thumbs up button. It will help a great deal. And also, share this video with anyone who you believe it may help. Let's get this message out there. Let's spread the awareness of narcissistic abuse. And share your thoughts in the comments. Every morning when I wake up, I spend up to an hour going through all of the comments from the previous 24 hours. So please share your thoughts in the comments. I do read every single comment. I'd love to hear from you. And click that subscribe button as well. If you haven't subscribed yet, and then you will receive the notifications for my future videos. You might need to click that bell icon as well. Patong Beach. It's a beautiful place. It really is. Okay, it's in Thailand. Thank you all for joining me on another Dark Survivor Live video. There will be more premieres tomorrow. So I hope to see you there.