 and I'm here for a little inspiration. If you have some for me, please write it in the chat. I'd love to read it and I hope to impart some for you. And just riffing, if you will riff with me, just mostly about how people we all sabotage ourselves. When there's something we really want to create and we get in the way and how do we do that? Well, sometimes if we recognize, it's so much easier to avoid doing it. So one of the ways is perfectionism. Is anybody out there perfectionist? Yeah, that's a deadly disease because it's tough because it's very hard to be perfect. The other one, of course, is shame. And then lastly, it is not accepting the self. So let's talk about perfectionists. Perfectionists basically grew up being praised for achievement and performance that was based on our grades, our mannerisms, our appearance. And there's another brand of perfectionist like me, where being amazing at something was one of the only times we got positive attention. So somewhere along the line, we adopted this really dangerous and debilitating belief system that says, I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. So we adopted this idea and it runs through our heads, please others perform, be perfect. How well does that work for any of us, right? Not so much. So really what healthy means, the contrary of that, what healthy means is it focuses on you. It focuses on me instead, such as how can I improve? Perfectionism instead keeps the focus on others, such as what will they think? Perfectionism hampers success. And research shows that it often leads to depression, anxiety, addiction, and missed opportunities because, oh my God, perfectionists, they're so fearful of putting anything out into the world that could be imperfect or disappointing, or maybe they make a mistake, right? So we think that perfection protects us, does it. In fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight. So next time you find yourself in that pleasing, performing, perfecting space, just say instead, I release this, thank you for sharing, and how can I improve? How can I change that? And shame, shame is a really interesting one because it's not guilt, it's a totally separate emotion from guilt. A way to see the differences to think about this question. If I made a mistake that really hurt someone's feelings, would I be willing to say, I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I'm really sorry? And if you're experiencing guilt, the answer is yes, I made a mistake. Because guilt says, I made a mistake and feels bad about it. But shame is one of the worst things because we often don't know when we're feeling it. Shame believes I am a mistake. People feel shame, tell themselves, I'm worthless. I'm a piece of crap. I don't blame my parents for hating me or being bullied in school or whatever you went through. Who wouldn't look at me? That's shame. And so people who feel shame walk around feeling that their being, in fact, is a mistake. And we want to heal from that as well because you are perfect. You came here to be a piece of what is so important moving forward on this earth. So you were dreamed into being. Accepting ourselves, the last one is feeling like we don't belong. And the truth is belonging really starts with self acceptance, right? So your level of belonging can never be greater than your level of self acceptance. Because believing that you're enough right now exactly as you are imperfectly beautifully you is what gives you the courage and courage means the strength to do even when you're fearful or uncomfortable. So it's what gives you the courage to be authentic, to be vulnerable, to be imperfect. And when we don't have that, we shape shift ourselves. We turn into chameleons and we try very hard for the worthiness we already possess. So I hope that inspires you to remember how very, very worthy you are and how very, very wonderful already. Happy Sunday, happy summer. And I'm about to roll out an amazing free webinar. And if you want to learn how to be interviewed on radio and podcasts, I'm going to be teaching you the system. So join me. It's going to be free one hour webinar. And you will have to register to join. Just go to debbie-singer.com and sign up. And then you will get the newsletter be on the ground floor for that rolling out. It's it's so soon I actually have somebody I hired. I see you coming across the screen texting me that we have to finalize some of the stuff. So it's for real. Yeah, it's what I do out in the world. I'm a book writing coach. I'm a podcast interviewing coach. I've got a 16 year podcast, dare to dream with Debbie Dashinger. I just, I'm on 50 platforms, but on YouTube alone, I just surpassed 12,500 subscribers. And you can go to youtube.com slash Debbie Dashinger, watch the shows there. And again, if you'd like to learn how to be interviewed, I'm also a publicist to a handful of clients. So I know the ropes and I've been interviewed on who knows over 2000 media outlets. So I know both sides of the microphone and this system. Let me teach you what I came here to do part of it anyway. And I'll see you there. Go to debbie-singer.com. I hope you're inspired and sign up for the webinar today. Thanks.