 Hello everyone, welcome to the NARC Survivor YouTube channel. Before I begin please give this video a thumbs up down below as it helps the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors who need it. When will the narcissist leave you alone for good? It may seem like the narcissist is drawn to you or attracted to you, but if that was the case it would be very easy for you to get rid of them by changing whatever it is about you that they're attracted to. But that's not going to work with a narcissist because they're not really attracted to you. They're attracted to who they need you to be, which supports their false narrative, their fantasy, which means that you can't stop attracting them because they've created a false character for you which is outside of your control. You don't have the power to change the components of this character because you're not the author or the inventor of it. The narcissist creates a false character for their victims which they demand and expect for you to live up to rather than giving you space to define yourself because they don't care about who you actually are. They just want to mold you into being who they need you to be so that they can use you to their advantage. Which is why when you're dealing with a narcissist they won't want you to have any boundaries and that can be very dangerous for you because boundaries are meant to protect you from danger or harm. But if you have boundaries it also keeps narcissists away because then they can't get close to you, they can't gain access to your life, so then they can't get their needs met. Which is why if there's one thing that narcissists hate it's a person's boundaries, anything that sets a limit between one person and another person. No narcissist is going to respect people's boundaries over a long period of time because boundaries are not attractive to a narcissist. They don't care about valuing or appreciating another person's self-identity or creating a safe space where we can feel, act and genuinely be who we are. They just want to mold you into who they need you to be so that they can get their needs met at your expense without reciprocating anything back to you and in order for them to do that they have to turn you into a yes person where you will just blindly agree with everything they say without question because they only care about themselves. They're not concerned about reality or what is actually true, that means nothing to them. Which is why they're able to manipulate and exploit people and they're able to lie, future fake and rewrite the past because truth and authenticity is not a concern to them. It has no value to a narcissist because they abandoned their true identity a long time ago. So why would they start valuing the truth now? Which is why they want you to have no boundaries and they want you to say yes to everything and whether you like it or not they really don't care because your self-identity is not a concern to them. People are just tools or objects for a narcissist. We're just things that they use. We're not things that they care about. Narcissists do not care about anything other than what they can get or use in that moment. Everything else is relevant to them and they will guilt-trip you. They will use your own empathy as a tool to manipulate and exploit you because maybe you feel bad for them or you don't want to say no when that should reveal to you that they don't care about you. They don't appreciate or respect who you actually are because if they did they would respect your boundaries. They would think carefully before crossing over them. If they were actually attracted to you or anyone else they would be very respectful of people's boundaries. They wouldn't want to cross a limit of what a person considers to be acceptable behavior because it would affect a person's self-identity. It would prevent them from being able to be themselves which proves that the narcissist is not attracted to you or anyone else and they never were because if that was true they would appreciate and respect people's boundaries. If a person is attracted to another person they're going to be attracted to their boundaries as well. Their limits of what they consider to be acceptable behavior. They're not just going to walk all over them if they actually care about them which is how you should know that the narcissist never cared about you. They see people as objects. We are just things for them to use and as long as they see an open door they're going to keep coming back to use you because that's all they're really concerned with but your greatest defense against them is your self-love because narcissists hate it when you love yourself. They want you to self-love. They want you to hate yourself because then they can cross over your boundaries and control you and mold you into the type of person that they need you to be rather than appreciating and encouraging who you actually are because they don't want to be around people who know who they are. They don't want you to be your authentic self. They can't survive in that type of environment because they don't know who they are. They haven't worked on themselves to develop their own separate sense of identity. They're just whatever or whoever they think will get them what they want. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up down below. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications and if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me.com. You can book a one-on-one with me on my website. It is NarcSurvivor.co.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.