 3 reasons why narcissists destroy their relationships, you try to take steps forward, you try to progress your relationship with the narcissist but they always pushed back, they always found a way to sabotage it because they don't want a relationship, they don't want commitment, they don't want to give themselves, they don't want to invest anything into you and they don't want to restrict their freedom of action, they just want the right situation that works for them which means that it has to be unequal and unfair and there has to be a lack of commitment, where they're not responsible for anything, where they're not restrained or controlled, where they're not accountable for their actions but they pretend to want a relationship, they give you the illusion, they love bomb you, they future fake, they lie about their past, they tell you that they were mistreated by their ex, they will tell you whatever they think you want to hear, whatever they think will close the sale, they will sell you a dream but that doesn't mean they're really about it, so here are three reasons why they destroy their own relationships, one fear of vulnerability, they don't want a relationship, they don't want commitment, they don't want to be bound to a certain course, they don't want to dedicate themselves to anything because they're afraid of being vulnerable, they're afraid of rejection and abandonment but to fully give yourself to someone and experience true love and intimacy, you have to be vulnerable but they're afraid of being vulnerable because they fear being hurt, they may act tough on the outside but they're actually very weak and afraid, they just know how to conceal their fragility to protect themselves because being vulnerable increases the risk of danger, failure and loss, it increases the risk of them being disappointed so they avoid being communicative and confiding, they avoid being available and accessible, they give you a false character but they are detached from that character which is how they're able to discard you so easily, they can give you the silent treatment, they can ghost you because you were never involved with them, you were dealing with a fictitious character which they use to protect themselves, which they use to trick you, which they use to have power over you because that reduced the risk of them being hurt, shiny object syndrome, they have shiny object syndrome, they're constantly distracted by an ongoing belief that there is something new worth pursuing, that there is something better, they're always looking for the bigger better deal, they're always looking for their next shiny new toy, they have these insatiable desires that can never be fulfilled so they fear making the wrong choice, they fear settling for something that is less than what they could have because they're very arrogant and entitled, they have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance, they believe that they are inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment so they feel that they should have the best, they may have you but they're always thinking about what could be better because they know you can't be the best, they know there must be something better than you but that could be true for anyone, the problem is that the narcissist cannot find satisfaction in one person, normal people can find satisfaction in the person that they've been developing and building with but the narcissist will never appreciate you because of their delusional entitlement and all of these fantasies they have in their heads which they imagine as future possibilities, they think they can have more than what you're giving them so why should they settle for you and miss out on what they could get somewhere else which is why they don't like the idea of being committed they don't want to be confined to one person which is why the closer you get the more they will start behaving badly because they feel uncomfortable, restriction of freedom, they see a relationship as a restriction of their freedom, they see it as imprisonment and captivity, they see it as though they're stuck with you and because they have a compulsive desire for excitement and adventure and they like things that are new and interesting and things that are different and diverse they can't just give themselves to one person even if you do love and care for them because that would interfere with their desires and needs which are more important to them than a relationship they see commitment as an act of depriving themselves of something pleasant and enjoyable which is not something that they want to do they want to be able to go out and meet other people without being required to justify their actions they don't want to surrender their ability to do that they don't want to follow rules or conditions they don't want to be honest they may tell you that they do they may tell you that they can be loyal but they're not going to do that they're not going to give up their freedom they don't want to be responsible for anything they fear being morally bound to behave correctly they fear being accountable or to blame for something they see it as a burden they see it as a duty and responsibility that is hard to bear to turn people down who are giving them attention to not flew it back because that's something they like to do even if there was someone and if they like it they don't see anything wrong with it if someone is complimenting them they see it as though that person is doing something nice for them because they're not considering you they're prioritizing what they want and desire they fear having to support their commitment to you against opposition they don't like anything that restricts them they want to be able to do whatever they want whatever they want so when you try to take steps forward when you try to progress your relationship with them they will push back they will behave badly to make you feel like you're not moving forward with them because they don't want to move forward and they want you to feel like they're better for you when you let them do what they want so that you won't expect anything greater from them because they don't want to be responsible it interferes with their fun it interferes with their freedom they lack morals and they hate authority they don't want to follow a structure they see it as though they're being controlled which is why they fear commitment but they will tell you that they're committed to you they will tell you they agree with your ideas of loyalty and devotion but that's only in how it pertains to you they don't they don't want you to flirt with someone else but they will they're not going to refuse something that makes them feel good it's always a double standard with a narcissist but they can be very convincing and they will do it behind your back if they're preventing the relationship from moving forward if it always feels like it's one step forward and two steps back that's a good sign they're flirting with other people that's a good sign they're cheating on you but they will lie they will tell you what you want to hear so that you will continue to provide them with the benefits and conveniences that they're getting from you but you're just wasting your time you're just delaying the inevitable thank you for watching i hope this video wears in it with you please like comment share and subscribe if you would like to donate my paper link is in a video description coaching inquiries you can email me at coachedatlark survivor at the uk thank you for watching and i'll talk to you soon