 What's up you guys? Welcome to the single guy channel. My name is Lloyd. I am not the single guy, but It's not the full story and I have a question. Hey Lloyd I have been hanging out with this girl for a long time and we have grown really close She is definitely my best friend, but I have started to develop feelings for her I want to tell her how I feel, but I don't want to upset the friendship I have a feeling she does not reciprocate my feelings and at the end of the day. I don't want At the end of the day. I want to at least keep her as a friend. What should I do? Okay, so Unfortunately for this guy, I got some harsh truths that I'm about to dish out for him Look man, I know you think that this person is like your best friend But the fact it's it's and it's not surprising that you develop feelings for My guess is you're probably a young kid You're probably a kid who maybe you grew up with this person Maybe you started out as a friend. She was like hanging out with you But my guess is you've probably always kind of liked her probably always kind of had romantic feelings for her All right. Now the way this friendship has gone She you're probably right. She probably doesn't reciprocate the feelings for you. Am I 100% certain? I don't know. I've never been in that situation with you There's some times where I've recommended a client of mine Yeah, dude, dude, you got to like go tell her how you feel and put yourself out there and sometimes it's worked But most of the time it hasn't that's why you've been a friend for so long because you know that the friend is the best thing That you can get with this girl. Okay, but you want more you want to not just be a friend You want to be a romantic interest you want to get physical you probably want to have sex or kiss this person, okay? If you are in this position, dude, hang around as a friend is probably the worst thing that you can do Okay, basically you're torturing yourself every day. She's gonna start dating other guys She's gonna start hanging around other people and you're gonna see that constantly. Okay? I know you think you have a big connection with this person But that's just because she's like an achievable thing that you can get I know because I've been there, bro I've been in that position where you like this is the most important person in your life And at least if I have her close to me, that's that's better than not having her. No, it's not I'm gonna tell you right now that what you probably should do is you probably should tell her how you feel You probably should be a man about I remember when I was stuck in the friends outside the friends I was like a year, dude with this girl and I told her how I felt I told her how I felt I was a man about it. I wrote it. I wrote it down. I practiced in the mirror Very funny. I was like, hey listen, you know, I I know we've been hanging out for a while But I think you're really pretty. I think you're really smart I think you're an awesome girl and like I'd love to take you out. It was something like that Okay, probably a little longer. I thought about this girl every single day I was so head over heels stab yourself in the face and love with this girl Or I thought I was but you know young love your emotions are high And you know you tend to blow everything up because this is the first time it's ever happened to you But when you get older, you don't really fall into those traps anymore So for this but she actually agreed to go out with me. I could not believe it So we went out one time and then she got back together with her ex-boyfriend And so at that point I had a decision to make because she still wanted to be friends with me She still wanted me in her life I had to make a decision Do I still stay friends with this person who I know it's not going to work out with who I know I'm Just gonna be every time I hung out with her it was painful because I would pine and I would hope and I would want For something more with her and I wasn't gonna get it You have to be smart and eliminate your emotions and take the logical step and the logical step is step away from the thing That is causing you pain. Yes, you are going to hurt more in the short term It is going to be a painful process in that short term But if you want to find happiness, you're not gonna find it here This is a losing battle that you are going to make yourself Crazier and crazier about every single time that you spend time with her every single time that you reach out You fooled yourself into believing that just keeping the friendship is enough for you This is not a real friend who stands up for you and is gonna make you happy Do the best thing for your life put yourself first homie. You're not putting yourself first with this So yes, I would recommend that you tell her your feelings, but you know if it doesn't work out That's okay. It's okay to hurt. It's okay to feel betrayed You've spent a lot of time and effort into this one person that's not giving anything back to you My guess is and this is what I've seen consistently for people caught in the friend zone is you come at it from a friend Standpoint women are not looking for a friend when they're looking for a boy friend They are looking for a guy who they desire who they can follow who they who can lead them who is on a path Okay, she's not gonna tell you this she's gonna say oh, it's all about connection or whatever She's you know been told or you know, whatever she Thinks about but that's not that's not who she's gonna go for you know and you're fighting a losing battle right now So I know there's tons of guys in this position who was like, oh, I should still be friends with you know And sometimes being friends with your ex works It really depends on the situation but I'd say in general if you have strong feelings for somebody if you have this strong burning desire to be with Somebody and you think being a friend is better than being nothing you're wrong Being nothing is better than that because that gives you the option to meet somebody else who is gonna desire you to right now All your time effort and energy towards towards a female is being dedicated to this person who ain't gonna give it back to you That's a losing battle That's putting your money in a stock that you know is gonna dip and it's gonna keep going lower the more you have it And why would you continue to do that just because you like the stock and you think that stock's special? No, pull your money out and put your money in somewhere else Or put your money in a variety of stocks and see which one goes up That'd be my that'd be my best recommendation for you So no dude you you know like you should not be friends with her in this case. Yes men and women can be friends Yes, men and women can break up and be friends But only in certain circumstances only when they're they don't have these burning feelings if a woman's watching this and you're friends with a Guy and you want to get with him and he don't want it. I don't think you should be friends with him I don't think you should be waiting around for him to like finally decide and oh, I've made a mistake this whole time That shit only happens in the movies dude and those are sad movies Okay, they usually spend a year and a half with this person when they could have been having fun and then eventually You know you guys will run into each other at some point decide if you're the best fit for each other That's how it works out doesn't happen the other way And in fact even if your sole goal is to get this girl the longer you hang around her and a hope that she's Going to make realize she made a mistake the more you're proving to her that you're not the right guy for her because a Self-serving guy a confident guy who believes in himself wouldn't do that shit He would go off and do the thing that's best for him and that's the guy that she's going to pick So no yeah, I think you should get out of this quickly as possible pretty much beat this dead horse long enough So sorry you're going through this buddy, but look man at some point in time I'd say a lot of guys go through this and so it's a learning process for you and good luck to you man Thanks for watching you guys