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Stop & Stare || Saying Goodbye

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Published on Sep 1, 2011

*HD*
not quite sure why all my videos quality suck lately. w/e...ill get to the bottom of this asap i promise.

ANYWAY.
this video has so much meaning. i know they are all older clips that y'all have already seen in movies...but this is kinda my final goodbye. I know weird right...its like the 400th time I've said that...and its not like I've even ridden more than 20 times this year. anyway. some stuff happened this summer (you can private message me if you need to know) that made it official that I'm going to have to take some time off and save up for a horse or to go back to my hunter/eq trainer in order to ride again. it really sucks having to say goodbye to jock...but i know he's going to be loved and taken care of for the rest of his life. anyway. this video has the most impactful horses in my entire riding life in it. the past 4 years i've grown more as a rider than i did in probably 10 years prior. i love each of them. this song definitely stood out to me for a reason tho:

"this town is colder now, i think its sick of us"
-so much has changed with the people i ride with and where i ride, to the point it seems like literally every time I'm up there i feel someone glaring at me...or saying something behind my back

"and every glance is killing me."
-barn drama. nuff said.

"I've got my heart set, on anywhere but here,"
-I'm currently in the process of trying to move out of the area/state...ANYWHERE i can get to.

"i think I'm moving but I'm going nowhere"
-everytime i feel like I'm getting better at riding, i end up losing it and having to start over again.

"you start to wonder why you're here not there."
-for so long I've stayed in pretty much the same jump height...intermediate...been considered just an average rider...and don't show much...when really i ride the advanced horses and work my butt off to try and get better...but something always gets in the way.

"I've become what i can't be."
-i competed hunt seat eq, hunter u/s classes, eq classes etc...which is something that doesn't happen much at my barn. i'm the girl that was/is afraid of fast horses and jumping high that competes in jumpers. also i managed to be successful without my own horse, or tack, or fancy barn etc. (underdog much)

"steady feet don't fail me now, gotta run till you can't walk"
-now its time to make it all count, and work my butt off till i get exactly what i want.

"you'd give anything if it was fair..."
-if life was fair...my hard work would pay off, id have my own horse by now, id be showing every weekend etc.

"sometimes fair isn't what you need..."
-without the things i've had happen to me that weren't fair in life...i wouldn't be where i am now.

"do you see what i see?"
-i can do anything when i put my mind to it...so i see a promising future

theres so much more to say...but just don't have the time or space to write it out. anyway thanks for reading and watching. :)

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