 Say your name, please. Lord and Namaskar. I feel very alive when I'm in presence. I feel as though it's much more vibrant. I just wondered if you could give some helpful advice or you could see in me that would draw me more into the truth. So this approach actually of resting in presence is as far as this particular framework goes and this teaching goes, it's very nebulous. Because the experience of resting in presence for one may be an experience of identifying with the soul, the supreme presence, the living presence and actually saying I am that. Whereas for another it can mean simply being present. So there is a certain quality of nebulousness about it which is why it is not actually used as a phrase over here. The practice here or the inspiration that is given in this satsang is to actually surrender. It is not a practice of identifying with supreme source. It is not a practice of saying I am that. Rather the practice is and it's very precisely that practice of saying I am this. Which is all of this, not just the conceptual part of this but the material, physical, the emotional, the conceptual, the transformative, creative part of the being, the unity consciousness, the ability to be one with the other as well as the Agnachakra consciousness or pluriform consciousness. So it's an entire this-ness that is being spoken about here. Now this, this-ness is in surrender to the soul or the individualized that. So it's not simply an experience of I am, but it is this, I am this in surrender to that. So it's actually bending down to something. Because when you take up the experience of presence, I am this in a material sense and not presence in a conceptual sense, which is I am. What happens is that the quality of surrender is inculcated right from the start of your practice. Whereas if you start to separate from everything and say I am and I am not this pain, I am not this suffering, I am not all of these things, which is a practice which is also undertaken by seekers. That's the more I would be doing is the more I'm not. The practice of I am not, I'm not this, I'm not that, I'm not this, is traditionally called the neti neti. I'm not this, I'm not that. But neti neti is not a practice. It is not a practice. It is an experience and a realization that arises after a period of practice and the fundamental practice is actually surrender. It is not the idea of detaching from everything and sort of moving into an exalted state. When I look at you and it's in a personal sense, it's not addressing the world, it's just you. I would say that there is actually, you have not taken off into space already, you're very much present. You're quite actually humble and you're quite in touch with thisness. You haven't spaced out into that. So it's a good moment to also bring into your practice the word surrender. Because if you start to detach too much from what's happening around, then you are identifying with supreme consciousness or the soul or presentness. You start to say I am that, this is what a lot of young people especially who start out on their neo-advaithin practices in the Indian subcontinent and also in other parts of the world start out and it gives a sense of freedom from the pain and the suffering and a sense of exaltation. And 20 years down the road and 30 years down the road they are walking around in Tiruvannamalai and Rishikesh and other places in a sense subtly sad because they haven't touched the truth with their fingertips. And so if you want that experience of the truth in thisness then this is where the truth is to be found. Not by detaching from the suffering, but by moving into a state of surrender to the truth itself. And the way you undertake that practice of surrender is actually by, with eyes wide awake, present here and now in this solidly discerning between the loud clamoring, demanding, insisting, yearning, pushing, opinionating voice of the ego and a very subtle impulse that comes from the master of your being, from the Antar Guru which impulses you with either a yes or a no. It's a very precise yes and no that comes from the soul. It's a material presence and it impulses the system just as it did when you were a child so you already know it. You know that thing. It simply has been obscured and obfuscated over a lifetime of conditioning. So the practice here is to pierce beyond all that conditioning to actually move not into identification with the soul but into surrender, I am yours, you are the master, you are the soul, you are the living presence. This is the servant, is the instrument. And from moment to moment that experience is deepened into self-realization as you realize the self you deepen in that experience. In fact it is diametrically opposite to detaching, rather it is simply moving into a state of surrender. I would say you are actually quite, yeah I feel there is a humility here in this, the this-ness of this, if it starts more and more to go into a state of surrender, humility, bending down in all the layers of the being, slowly your consciousness starts to expand and it's not just the conceptual that starts to get glimpses of the truth but it's the actual material cellular physicality of the system that starts to expand into self-knowledge, into knowing itself. So it's a very, like it's a bit of a shock maybe to the system to hear this practice but it's clearly emphasizing in every moment that posture of surrender because that is what has been quite conveniently removed from many neo-advaithin practices where the gurus maybe speak or the masters may speak about surrender but it's about surrender to the guru. The thing is that surrender does not end with surrender to the guru. The guru is only the, like here in the Indian subcontinent we speak about when we grow up we touch the feet of our parents and then we say with that humility and bending down the parents will show us the gods. Then we go to the temples and we bend down, we offer, we do arthis, we touch the feet of the gods and the gods show us our gurus. Then again it starts, we go, we touch the feet of the guru, do the guru seva, do the arthis and so on and then the guru shows us the final destination which is the antar guru so it is something in there that they are speaking about since thousands of years and it is the surrender to the antar guru which is actually the surrender you are trained for. So if you remove that surrender from your practice and you are I am then that's what you are and that's what you'll be and at one point you'll have to fall back from that exalted state into thisness and the pain has not been transformed then it's back and it hits again. Many, many seekers have fallen from that exalted state and are then confronted with this and then they don't know anymore what to do, where to look and how to go so surrender, sweet surrender to the master within, to the guru. In each moment discerning is this action of mine arising from the ego or is it arising from the truth? Because if you say I am not this suffering okay so that means you are engaging with it rather than saying I am this and surrender to the soul or that. It's a very, it's not just a conceptual practice of detaching from everything. No, it's saying hey, why is this body here in the first place? It is here because it's meant to be engaged with. Else you can be a soul, if you are that then you might as well be that and why do you need this. So that in a nutshell is what is actually spoken about here. There are some whose systems are much more propelled by the ego because of the societies they've grown up in or because of what they went through as children all that conditioning. In some people it's more difficult to surrender into the soul it's not about surrendering to the pain it's about surrendering to the truth which is actually all which is not pain and it's not circumventing the pain it's simply moving into surrender which is not a circumventing but a strengthening of the system to transform the circumstances that are giving rise to that pain. If you surrender then your actions will not cause you as much pain as they do if you act from the ego. It's discernment, Viveka Buddhi in every moment. So it's a very beautiful sort of practice to start out a sadhana by saying I'm not the pain and then suddenly you feel very light and free but that freedom is a conceptual freedom it's only in your thinking. It's happening all in the thinking it's a conceptual journey into labyrinths and into rollercoaster rides but it's all happening in the thinking. The rest of the system has to be part of that non-dual experience which is not if it's happening only in the thinking the non-dual experience is the entire system in surrender in that state where it is experiencing itself simply as the doer of the truth so that's what I am in the unfortunate position of having to tell you. It doesn't seem unfortunate. Very good, I'm very glad. The process of surrender seems very obvious in a way I see it more like a melting a melting through surrender allowing what I saw myself previously as being just to simply dissolve away. No, but it's not about dissolving away, no? It's about becoming more coherent, more present, more contoured more aware, more alert, more here and now in a state of surrender. It's not about being melting away into nothingness because the soul is not emptiness the soul is not silence the soul is fullness, it's material and it is impulsing and simply because we don't have that experience anymore through the conditioning we cannot even imagine that the soul is material but if you try to tune in after a while beyond the noise you'll feel a very concrete presence of a living impulse that's the living presence and the this-ness in surrender to that moves into a state of coherent, contoured presentness which is not melting away anywhere the melting away happens, you know how? When there is a dissolution of identity as you sort of little bit space out you start to sort of melt there is less and less identity into Samadhi states for example if you go into a Savikalpa Samadhi state where you're just basically a perceiving entity there isn't much coherence, there's a lot of meltiness and floatiness this is being very present there is no melting happening and it is very precise, you know because if this body, this this-ness has to be an instrument of truth it has to be present because that is its nature its nature is to be here and if we by going into deep meditation states move into Samadhi states melting into that that is a choice everyone can make but it's not what is practiced here because when you melt out you experience the cosmos but you also have distanced yourself from the this-ness of your existence which is here and now and actually creating this moment so also creating the pain or the joy but if you are not here and if you are through long hours of meditation or even conceptual querying, self-enquiry when it goes beyond a certain point the system cannot handle it and so the awareness starts to leave and it leaves in a dissolution of identity you start to feel your contours less and less and less you know that is why you experience the meltiness and the sort of the flowiness but what happens and it would be beautiful if one could flow like this through a lifetime but what happens is that at one point because of the detachment that has caused that floatiness there is a roundabout circle and back plop you have to enter into this and then the pain and suffering is still there it hasn't been transformed through this-ness which is also why, Lawton the great masses of the last few centuries Ramana Maharshi or Sri Aurobindo or Ramakrishna Paramahansa Ananda Mahima they all had to come back into their bodies and deal with this and enlightened states were when they were not actually in touch with this and then when they made the circle and came back into this the reality of this had to be dealt with and it was not easy that idea of you know I am not this and detaching from this is a pretty idea but it is also after 30 years and 40 years of these practices one has clearly seen where it leads to but when you are in surrender to something you know already as a child that posture of surrender actually makes you create a life which is more joyful because your actions arise consciously from the truth your actions not your thoughts but the very actions arise from the truth which is also interesting to perhaps try it out as a practice and see you know that's the beauty about spirituality it's not religion that imposes its edicts and its codes of conduct and models on you it's an experimental sphere and field and you can experiment see how it feels to be in surrender here and now are you more in touch with life itself then? or are you more in touch with life if you are not this and not that and not the other each one feels it for themselves the only question is how can you be with life if you are not life if your fundamental statement is I am not this I am not the suffering the suffering is what life is unless it is transformed consciously it's not going to go away that's in a way what I agree with is to be here now it always seems as though there's been something slightly drawing me away but it's always said well I'll just get this done with and I'll be on to the next thing rather than this is it and this is absolutely perfect and this is where I would want to be I'll just here for example but you have to hover along the road or something yes I know I wouldn't misunderstand you on that so that is the surrender isn't it that process no it's not it's very precise it's a surrender if you say I am here in this moment and this is where I want to be no sorry this is not what I mean I want to be there for example just paraphrasing you then what happens is that it is still I who is here and I want to be here or want to be halfway down the road and then I still haven't experienced surrender I still have not experienced sweet surrender in this system which means I am yours it's that posture of being here and now and saying I'm yours I'm in surrender this system this me is an instrument of the truth impulse which is the soul which is love and I'm in surrender to love I'm in surrender so in this moment I try to be aware as to from where my actions arise that is a very different posture from saying I am here now and because this is where I want to be halfway down the street that is a different posture you see the difference so I am looking I am saying where are my thoughts and feelings arising from where your will to action is arising from where the need for action or will to action or intent is arising from it is not going to arise from the soul because the soul has no desires no needs no wishes no wants nothing it's just an impulsing entity when a need to action arises the question has to be is this something that this has to do now is this the right thing to do it arises in the thinking and it could arise from anywhere it could arise from the ego who is the master of the being who is impulsing that system who impulsed that system when it was a year old something was pushing this thing into action and that thing is what we call the antaraatmandi antaraatmandi inner residing soul a drop of cosmic soul so when you say I am not this I am not that and the other is from all that is this and what this has caused and so it takes you into cosmic experience rather than into terrestrial corporeal actual material presentness so it's you know in the beginning when you take up a practice like this it doesn't have that novelty and that false sense of freedom of conceptual freedom that you can actually have if you suddenly wake up one morning and say hey I am the living presence I am not this pain then what is your motivation not to create that pain which is created by your actions so it's taking responsibility and saying I am lord and here I am and now I have to see these actions of mine where do they arise from what is impulsing them and move with the truth in surrender in surrender you are not surrendering to the action you are surrendering to an entity to the truth to the soul to the living presence to the antaratma to love it's like a switch has to be made in the conceptual approach to what this is going to do now in this life sweet surrender you know it just strengthens you and makes you present and contoured and here and now and when you are in surrender to the soul you also surrender to the soul you feel the other so you also feel what the other is going through you feel this so you feel this it's a very different way of living that presentness is solid and it's here and now it's not a conceptual presentness but also actually a material presentness