 Jad sex with your elbows and that's where they're mad Isn't it about the it's not about the consent thing that care about those just cuz you were using elbows. We live man Yes, yes, we are and everything is fucking working Shit a brick man Oh, stop stop Wait and stop and control It's okay, man. It's all right look Look, all right. This is episode number 38 the money Michael fully actual podcast All right after this one there's only two left man I just want to try there's only two left after this. Maybe there's last two we might get through without swearing man I think we should go whole episode, baby That's what that's how we'll make it up to you actually got three episodes left Imagine if we try to do an episode where we didn't swear. Yeah, including this one. No Christmas special All right, you this fucking what's to happen to us. Well, I'll tell you what we had a good little weekend It was Mon's my my partner's birthday a little party Finally moved she like my gift. Yeah, she did actually yeah She says she will be using putting them to come in handy And yeah, it was a fucking good little weekend nothing crazy and fucking Here we fucking are ready for war can't we're fucking nearly five weeks ahead and backing up content, right? Yeah, so we could have we could have a holiday right now if we wanted to but when I'm going to Save for Christmas. There's some good shit coming up man. There's some fucking good shit happening in our lives right now The Australian podcast towards listeners choice award the lines are open Okay, we're gonna put the link in the description all season. We've been saying please Please prepare for this. Okay, they're open now. I'm yourself You'll probably have already heard of this some of you because we're gonna be promoting it on our Podcast on our social medias through on Friday because they've just opened on Friday, right? You'll listen to this the Monday, right? So fucking click the link vote for us We'll be forever grateful. Okay. In fact, send us a screenshot of You voting for us to our Instagram only our Marty and Michael Instagram only please nothing else Please not Facebook or anything else and we will we will try our very best to get back and send each of you a personal Thank-you message. We did last year. We managed your last season. It took like two days It took a long time. We only made it what like sixth or seventh And we can like yeah, I think we can like seventh or eighth last year So see if we can out of Australia, so let's fucking let's just fucking bind together and see Because if there's nothing better than Australia's best or most voted for podcast being our podcast because it's just it's not right For it to be the most this is such a disgusting fucking podcast If not for to support us Just think how funny it would be if they had to play a snippet of our podcast as the winning podcast of Australia Imagine a real 10-second long squirty dude or a fucking or a diary entry or some shit So that's happening all right, so please before you even continue listening, can you please? Go and vote for us. All right Oh, even when they read out the read out the name last year. Yeah, it was so funny Just so here's someone go the Marty and Michael fully actual and with that slight confusion around what that name means And like it's just like it shouldn't happen to us, you know, it's like this no one breaking the system We don't get what the spot spotify would never give us a spotify original We never get money from YouTube because the shit we get we say is too fucked I'm gonna say it's too late now and it's just it's all word of mouth and the ring force has grown We've doubled more than doubled our engagement viewership since the beginning of this season let alone last season Imagine next season dude next season. It's gonna be off the fucking charts, baby I thought you were gonna say off tap. I'm seriously so excited for next year. You can't even believe what's going on right now Oh But Now if you don't want to vote for us, you can obviously still Support us just by simply liking commenting and subscribing. All right comment the word comment If you don't know what to comment and just fucking keep it ground Wallace. It's so we're fucking it's good It's very very good. We're getting there. We're fucking getting there finally I need to get something out. Oh Oh, what do you need to get out man? Why is there like a is your is there a bottle of piss out there? Like urine out the front of your house. Yeah, there is Matt. Yeah, very well, but you got a keen eye for a detail Don't you Matthew? Oh, yeah, correct. Why? I okay, I'll tell you the truth. I was waiting for my pizza a few months ago in my car There was no toilets around so I pissed in that bottle in the car. Why don't you piss outside because there's people around Okay, so then I I saw the bottle in there months later in my car and I was like I could leave it there because I wanted to leave it there because it's just like everyone asks why is there a bottle of piss there normally But I was like fuck it science it up. Take it out of the car. Put it in the sun See what organisms form from that shit photo since the surface. Oh, yeah. Okay. Have you sniffed it? Um, no, you really shouldn't figure get it. I will You really shouldn't ever waste any of your waste. I don't think holy fuck Oh, wait. Steve oh saves his piss, right? Yeah I've got an idea. Okay This will be great Okay Next week or this week. We're buying a deep a big freezer a big deep freezer Yeah, okay a big long one the ones that people James has we go for ice baths when we put bodies Okay We'll get it. We'll put in the garage I'll start I'll buy heaps of ice cream buckets buckets empty I'll maybe even have some ice cream have them. I think then I'll start shitting in the tubs And to stop the smell we'll put it in the freezer and we will save For the whole year get a get a whole freezer full of shit mad brown Then when julian's out of town, we get all the frozen shits and we put them all in his room I'm so angry and that and that is the frozen don't fucking say maybe we should cut that Oh, he doesn't listen to him. He doesn't listen to he does And he got angry like told everyone about his fortnight poster. Oh, look look julian It'll be a long this will be this will be months if not a year or so away Yeah, don't worry about it. He'll forget about it. He'll forget about it, but Or like, I don't know we could do some other stuff with the pool as well Like imagine like, okay, we buy a blower pool, right? We put all the frozen poo in the blower pool Then we test With science shit something if the poo melts from the sun And we see what happens and if we want we could Go for a little swim in the shit. I have a have a shit swim. Do you think I'm just going to put it out there I don't want to be part of that I've never seen someone swim in their own shit. Is it just like sewerage? I guess it's It'd be like swimming in sewerage, but it's like but it's your shit, but it's not there's no water or anything else mixed with it It's just purely shit So it is different just to get in your eye and you'd be So it is different. Can you is different to sewerage? All right. It is pure shit You know, it's like sewage is like slopping a bucket of shit in a fucking In a in a washing machine sized thing of water, you know, you know, it's like it's diluted Yeah, if you will it's waterized I like it is it is thinned thinned out. You need the thick slop of shit purely pressed against your skin cunt Yeah, well, what could we what's a science title for that? Can you swim in your own? No, just what happens when you swim in shit Okay, see that to me because that's actually what that's what what's interesting about it. Matthew you fucking idiot It'd be quite like Thickish. Oh, yeah, or it could be silky could be smooth Yeah With hard bits in it come out with corn. You should just eat corn for a whole year. Can't they'll be different There'll be different sections, man. There will be so many different fucking sections Anyway speaking about a whole river of shit Please thank thank you to our sponsors at manscaped.com. They've agreed to even stay on with us next season And they have a fucking shitload of really awesome male grooming products They've they've they've emailed me they've emailed me right and they've asked me to talk about something about Christmas All right. I can't remember exactly what it was But there's some good shit happening around Christmas Okay, so manscape.com Cool Christmas shit happening So if you want to buy some shit for Christmas, right Use our discount code fully actual 20 you understand fully actual 20 for 20% off across the board Every five dollars you spend no fucking flick one back at ya because you said fully actual 20 And if you buy it around Christmas, there's some weird Christmas shit happening Dude, there's they have some fucking cool Christmas shit going on. All right They there was some really specific things they asked me to mention Look the email was sent a few days ago. I can't find it now Yeah, and then brain hurts. We do and there's no time. We've got to move on sponsors done manscape.com legends Only brand actually actual brand willing to work with us. The other brand is us Our university of muckl our subscription website where we post the most unique groundbreaking Scientific fucking shit that you have ever fucking seen you won't see it anywhere else. Okay, that's swimming in shit one We've we've solved world hunger On there. We've seen if pineapple makes cum tastes better legit There are some really big myths that have been confirmed or denied on our website Okay, there's some fucking crazy shit that happens on there So crazy, I can't even fucking talk about it and you can watch it all for free You can sign up for free for 21 days to see if you also agree with me that it's really good shit Then after that you say on you pay 10 bucks a month or some shit All right, that's as simple as that if you can't do any of that Like comment subscribe. That's all we ask just just like the video subscribe or comment the word comment if you want Matt is not subscribed to Our channel or Matt has no commitments internationally I am some single. He's a fucking fortnight fiend. So is julian Julian commitment is probably more so than you now. So to speak julian's like Or julian is well When it's not I haven't seen it myself, but There is rumored that he is top 10 in australia, which means he could end up representing australia at the fortnight game Really? He hasn't even told us that well. He doesn't want anyone to know. Yeah, that's so true He's so weird about it. Did anyone he said no one really messaged him about He's um getting his fortnight game a tag or whatever So if you seriously want to play with him because he does it all the time I'm just giving him a flick in my message. I'm asking he wants to play He he shot me a message this morning before and we were even He was at 5 a.m. He shot me a message and he's like mate Your joke on the podcast about fighting the night. Oh, yeah was fucking Yeah, he loved that fucking loved that. He no one else got only him julian gets it because he knows fortnight Yeah, he was like dude. He was like couldn't even talk. He was like laughing so much Like yeah, he fucking loves the chat on there too talks to all the kids on there Like oh, you know there has a lot of kids play a game. It's it's it's it's truly a conflict of where you think that he's current personalities at Uh, just to have this habit on the side. It's um, it's really quite bizarre. So Yeah Also, we're thinking about um, because we haven't really done many segments see things lately The german segment is still on ice while we wait for nicole But we really and this is a segment that will be um a bit more better and specific next season But we want to start a few now. We're gonna have a submit your video segment. All right. So fucking Each week next season that each week there'll be topics that we want people to submit their videos to but For now Just send us some fucking we're just gonna have a video submission segment All right, if it makes us laugh or it's fucking interesting We'll play it. You can do your best You can fucking do a fart you can be matt brown. You can be more beat you just and unique shit What are you good at about the podcast? You can bound backwards Send in a video of yourself bounding backwards down a really steep hill towards some thick Scrub brush. Fuck it rip a toenail off anything you want man. We'll fucking play this podcast I'm just gonna fucking blow up over the next few years, baby. You can say you've been on that. Don't you understand, baby? Don't you fucking get it, baby? baby, baby, baby Baby, uh, what where do you want them to send it to the fully actual go? They are fully actual um instagram Just because we get a fair few dams. It's quite hard for go to go through them all sometimes Shut up, man Anyway, um moving right along is that phone fucked up yet No, we're all hyper vigilant now, baby. So I'm on edge. Sorry about our little um audio fuck up. Um last week Things happen. It's fine. We've already said sorry for last week last week. It was a technically technically and we thought to be honest We thought it was we thought it was gonna sound um not so not quite not as fucked when when we did hear it so You know what they say fucking um Um What do they say? What do they say about that? They say something very specific about that's very scenario It's fucking monday today. It's fucking monday today, mate. So I just fucking oh All that shake it off. Oh, it's tuesday. Yeah. Yeah, it's tuesday today But that's what they say. That's what they say though, man On this day. No, they He wouldn't get it Anyway, um Matt came in earlier today. Um Wrote a little die a little on this day. Didn't you matt? Yeah Um, and you know the um, you're enjoying writing them again. Yeah, I just like researching Yeah, and I just loves looking at things on the internet loves it a so Without further ado A little on this day. Hey a dude without further ado Where is he? On this day in 1997 the back street boys became addicted to sucking tits The addiction became so severe that they would suck a quick tit in between songs during their concerts Sometimes without consent the blondehead one even sucked so much tit that his teeth face forwards out of his mouth They'd slowly been bent that way over a long period of time because of the sheer volume of tit sucking that went on They only recovered from their tit sucking addiction when their management decided to only allow guys And chicks with their tit tits cut off to come to the concerts Yeah Man Nick Carter He uh, well, he's the one who had the fucking teeth facing forwards out of his mouth from sucking so much tit Man that we'd get it get boring It's just a tit. No, oh man You can suck a tit all night long man. Seriously, man But you have a full tit like you can just suck and get the whole thing in man If you don't release the suction you can you can go look you can go And breathe out three in those And the tit stays in your mouth and then you can suck more and more and more in more breath until the entire chest cavity Is in your lungs Wow, so you can pretty much take lungs Into lungs It's double lunging. Yeah It's seen it on porn Diary entries okay Oh man, fuck that imagine if milk Came out sometimes blood if you suck hard enough sometimes a mix a bloody milk A thick bloody milk with pussent from bruising Vascular vans popping under the stress leaking blood into hey while you're talking about While you're talking while you're talking about it's aggressive you know veins under stress Um, I was thinking about this the other day and I briefly mentioned this to marty Do you think That there's a chance that we hold the record for the most farts ever on a podcast. Yeah, surely Surely I don't know because like there's the fucking people that fart and don't yeah, but I mean like Like proper fart. Yeah recorded recorded farts. You know like this is a fart Fart marty's had a like a run of big ones, but then you throw a couple in every now and then So surely I don't fucking fight it for ages. You're broken Man, what the fuck sorry Darius That's really just put me off. Hey, I wonder why it's because I've started eating meat again now I'm not gassy. It's weird. You gotta stop your burgers and have more beer Yeah, I got it. I can't stop with uber east lately. Oh, man. It's hard. Man. I officially have a sugar addiction It's fucking there. Yeah, your sugar addiction. It's only on weekends though Yeah, like I was so tempted last night because I only I ordered tie had Maybe three vegetables out of my stir-fry and then the rest was just rice and sauce And then I had cravings for sugar again Watching you eat like um 10 chocolate creams. Yeah, I was so close To like our creams last night our friends surprise party You had something like 10. Yeah, it was a 10. How long did those other two crispy creams last? Well, uh, okay, I was scared because I thought if donuts lasted If you bought them the night before they don't last yeah, they last day So I didn't have them, but then you're like, no, they'll be fine. So then of course It's like, all right I had a few bongs and then come two hours later. I was sneaking up I ate them and within like a minute It was so good I could eat four donuts in the space of two minutes. Yeah, you can ball them up into like marble-sized things You swung on like tablets. You don't even need to chew anymore. It's just a nice having time And I just fucking I just don't want to do it anymore I just don't want to fucking do it I eat sugar Everything Yeah, but fuck dude, I don't know how like during the week I try But I'm a weekend. I just stuff I become Fucking lisa's only the next the next thing would be to just just change it to just one day if you can do it Just on a sunday. Yeah, you're set. You're fine. You can do it there, baby. Yeah I'm doing shit my sleep so fucked again. I'm eating new breeds Had had a few drinks on fucking saturday. I'm all over the shop. Yeah, I'm fucking crippled crippled with anxiety The laughter helps Diary entry number 146 from michael cory brook house I was inspecting one of my shits today and I realized smell is just things evaporating So as I breathe in the shit smell, I'm breathing in actual shit particles The deeper I inhale I can almost feel the shit caking back together in my throat and I can taste it Anyway, I haven't had toilet paper for six weeks. So I'm off to scrub my shitty ass with my hands in the shower Michael Michael can go the longest out of anyone. I know with not buying toilet paper. He'll just Squirt he'll just fucking squirt in the shower stomp it down the drain and then wash His ass with these bare hands. No, I don't shit in the shower unless it's run. Oh, that's right. Yeah I shit in you know, it's gonna be running or you can feel it sometimes. So anyway I shit in this in the toilet then I go Okay, that's not quite as bad and the reason I forget every time at the shops to buy toilet paper. That's why Yeah, it's just like one of those things you forget Oh, it's so much of it. But yeah, I buy heaps of it whenever I do. I just say I don't have to go back for ages The smell that makes sense Smells are just Evaporating things. Yeah, that's why you smell on that. So when you're smelling stuff, you're smelling evaporating things You're smelling objects. You fucking idiot Matt So, sorry So that's that sort of holy fuck good. Very good Direnge you're number 117 from marty Today, I let a man take pictures of me. Well, I had a bath He gave me five dollars and I showed mum and she took it from me because she didn't believe how I got it I screamed at her and dad pushed me into that kitchen table. It was a pretty good day Fuck there you go forgotten about that one. Hey, yeah, that one's but now reading it back it unlocks that memory I Diary entry number 69 from julian james teneson woods It unlocks it very good That's how I was screaming at my mother Which took the money from me Fuck that's very good Dior entry number 69 from Julian James Tennyson Woods from Ash Gravel some shit 40 60 till I don't today I've got some blind dumb Today I've got some dumb blind cunt bashed I stole a sausage roll from 711 and the lady saw me so I saw some blind cunt walk past and I slipped the sausage roll in his bag then I called the cops and they rocked up and the blind fellow like full denied it and skits down haha the cops had no choice but to bash his knees in so he folded in half haha and while everyone was watching that I fucking bucked back in the 711 and flogged a full loaf of bread and a pack of sickies cunt hot chip sangers for dinner bitch fuck off cunt stabbed fucking stabbed you throat cunt slash haha man that is a fucking that's a dark one from Juliana I see where he gets this energy from though like you can see him like he channels all that into his fortnight play and he just you can see it comes out on the screen you know you've got to put it somewhere and yeah he's got that's why he's calm now as soon as that Xbox turns on focus you know he reinvest it yeah do you know what I mean yeah he reinvest it into himself yeah do not I'm saying that or he's like putting more more effort into him alright so okay diary entry number one thousand and eighty two from Matthew it was a cold rainy night in the mountains I had built us a small shelter using a mix of my own pubic hair feces and mints there were gaps and occasionally rain would drip down onto my shivering father he was curled up in a ball grimacing in pain at the shoulder wound the wound looked sore kind of like a pussy that had been stretched open with great force I lent down and tongued at it and managed to extract one last fistful of mints from my little brown and slapped it into his wound the hot mints sizzled as it hit my father's arm and my father struggled to fight back the tears of pain did we help you dad it's gonna be okay I said and then I tonged his ears kissed his pecs gently and flicked his nipples lightly with my tongue my father seemed in less pain the mints must already be working he fell asleep and I could finally think I knew choir and quest and wouldn't come up I knew choir and question wouldn't come this deep into the mountains tonight but perhaps tomorrow or the next day and my dad needed to rest for at least three days I had to stop them or slow them down from finding us for just a little while I had to find as many bears as I could and convince them to attack question I had an idea I left my hut and father and bounded backwards all the way back down the mountain and into the nearest farm there I bounded backwards and caught a horse I tore its tail directly off its body and fashioned it to my head now I look exactly like question now all I need to do was enrage as many bears as I could in the mountains and make them think it's question who is antagonizing them they're hibernating so there will be extra irritable then they will attack the actual question as he makes his way up to the mountain to find us thinking that it's actually me that's fucking high tech exactly I bounded backwards back up the mountain rain pounding on my leather skin I caught the scent of a family of bears and followed it it led me to a small cave where the family was hibernating inside I dove through the opening knees first and slammed straight into the skull of one of the baby bears the baby bears head was crunched and caved in from my blow and it was dead the sleeping mother lifted her head in fatigued confusion I lunged forwards and put its entire snout in my mouth and bit it off the other adult bears let out an almighty roar and I bounded backwards straight out of the cave the other bears followed me out into the stormy night and they were now hunting me I did this to another eight to fourteen bear dens then I was completely exhausted removed my horsetail hair and slithered home my traps were now set question was certain to run into one of those bears and they would surely think that it was him who had been murdering injury injuring and sexually assaulting their families I just hope it slows him and quiet down long enough for us to give us time to recover I curled up with my father in the 69 position and we sucked each other's balls as we slept so they're fucking prepping for this battle it's a great idea to get the bears to think that questin was the one do we have bears in Australia yeah okay it could have bounded over oceans for all we know and I'm pretty sure Australia is bear yeah yeah we have bear surely we have snake we have spider skink somewhere surely we have bear salamanders yeah yeah there's a salamander here and there no it's pretty cool how they are there's a salamander here and there it's pretty cool how they are oh fucking overhand right come um this just in um we realize that we need to have an urgent bong break see you in 30 seconds skip it if you don't want to wait for it we'll be back in 30 seconds all right moving right along to the first segment the segments that we have today we're going to do you some questions all right and then we're going to do you some p.o box we're probably going to fuck a lot of letters baby all from the same can't I think we've already done a few segments and we've got prank call you said this is the first segment so you're so you're already in the prank call again you're 40 minutes into a pod cars and then inside the start again so that's the table of contents for today's episode oh is that what it's called the table of contents yeah that reminds me of primary school yeah there would have been tables of contents of days tables the front or the back I'm not sure from the book the front front what's at the back the um credits you got fat in the chin for a bit oh cramped here do you just dislocate your jaw I tried wait what were we talking about yeah dried come dried come the credits the index is in the back what's the what's the little the index like the actual back of the book the index no the book cover no when you read and you get the gist of the uh the summary at the back of the book it's a summary the book summary no because somebody's at the start summary is on the very back oh it's uh it's fucking um what do you call them testimonials and shit it's fucking um what other people think of it this book is outrageous five stars out of five type of book because then you've got books that have research and they put all their research notes in some books don't even have endings somebody with some books aren't even written yet I'm googling who's read the books where you read a page and you make a decision and it says you go to oh you mean choose your own adventure books yeah do you remember the goosebumps man yeah of course baby anyway appendix they call it the appendix right yeah and we have that too humans actually have appendixes as well so that that's a double entendre they get infected oh man so do a book appendixes so yeah you don't want to see it next question should we start the top question oh by the way if you want us to answer your question just comment on our mighty Michael for the actual youtube channel the questions with the most likes are the ones we answer first and then we work okay so have a scroll through see which comments is you really like give them a like if you want us to answer it as well as comment your own question what's the question make sure you punch those likes so get the questions up yeah punch those fucking likes baby sorry next year we're gonna have comment competitions baby man i am so hard right now i'm so high right now that's what i meant next question first question top question went to matthew brown nolls um who asks a lot of questions many questions equals many fish we might pick your fish never know it's like buying lotto tickets exactly right more comments mean more fish in the sea baby more fish damn straight baby we hooked that shit babe yeah like the word fish all right top question is it's for marty um marty how has bosley been these days give me an update on bos yeah he's been so much better he's got um he's fucking he's leaned right out all i feed him now he's like a kilo of like raw steak raw cut up kangaroo and some fucking a little can full of veggies and some water and man he's trimmed right down and fucking he's um he's doing real good he's uh he hasn't been he's that's probably the healthiest he's ever been mat do people know that we eat kangaroos let me show you i don't know they don't like plague numbers here see we fucking every when i see one like i i seriously try and kill him i saw him on the road and i'll pick one i don't go that far but yeah look at michael's nipple mat brown grab it can you see it that's only fans content baby shit we should need to do another shoot we need to do another shoot for that that's demonetized we should do like 10 shoots when we do a christmas special let's get slutty as fuck dude we've put the cow outfit on oh yeah we'll get to it we'll do a little a little sexy porn sketch next question is from brock irish um excuse him matthew brown i'm so sorry thank you we're having a christmas episode um we guys have some challenges and segments around christmas in there oh yes you know for sure sand is gonna like be involved somehow man like i don't know yet but yeah i promise you he'll be there can't pockel's not sure what's going on all right here we go back to normal i can't breathe right now okay next question oh let's get so many likes um next question from sam warner he feels this is an offensive question but he wants to know who's are they who's are they how is he how is he writing that what's the punctuation literally that no but like is there any commas or full yeah sorry there's a who's comma are they so who's are they yeah great question it's important that to i thought that because you know who's are they without the comma like doesn't even make sense but who's are they it makes a lot more sense it's spelled w o h s yeah like like similar to owl sounds mat don't you know that but uh who's are they is um you know something that's been philosophized about for you for years now no one's ever really been able to truly figure it out but like you know it's what you're pointing at yeah and we have formulas too so we've entangled some shit and um there's some spreadsheets that that really are pumping out literal information right now and we have that back at the lab database center yeah well we call it the database center but it's really just a laboratory but um yeah so we're on to it and uh we'll keep you guys posted all right we hate getting into the titan technical of our science shit it's like guys are probably so bored listening to this moment jumpy it doesn't even make sense to you doesn't matter do you even know what a beacons you don't even know what a fuck he wouldn't even fucking know what a beacons or the fucking the 25 milliliter test tubes or where to find them in a laboratory i bet i can hate you guys oh fucking i you guys are so mad he can't we walk into the lab he'd be like what the fuck was their mercury in the mopping buckets this is a fucking he would use it too he would fucking waste the time he would do that all of this is a waste of time he's in that laboratory wavy's arms around wavy's fucking arms around so confused fucking cunt fucking cunt next question next question is from ringworm d zero zero one this is a bit of fan i'm having the worst day what did he say there he said this is a bit of fan no no what was the question i didn't yeah i didn't even get to it because i just realized it's a bit offensive to me oh really i'm excited to hear it now boys can we have a website video with mr brown called how to be bald but then he's mean to you oh well that's okay then he says preparing marty for the near future yeah it's so true i don't know i think your hair is going to be fine i reckon i've got i've got four more years and then it'll become like uncomfortable to look at michael i reckon you i haven't noticed it on you yet but yours was fucked me yours had to go but i shaved your 34 your 32 i reckon you probably have more hair now than you did back then so you've probably got longer i needed it okay we could think about doing that video i may accept i don't know man scab has a product word to bald you to keep you bald man you know what i'm saying if you guys come up with a good enough idea for a video i'll accept it there but i have a question and this is for the rings do i have a love do i have a future of finding love with no hair yeah cause can't no you say that but you're my friend yeah but there's plenty of there's plenty of bald chicks out there i want to know i want to know from the rings more chicks again more chicks getting chemo every day more people more chicks think it's okay to shave their head so yeah of course you will do there's plenty of good with shaved heads plenty of bald chicks out there so you're fine as long as you are okay with having a bald chick yeah which we wouldn't be it's fine it's not what i'm asking what their looks dude talking about me you'll be dating a bald chick that's i don't know those are your only options okay now you only can date bald chicks okay accept that and then you will find love okay next question next question is from oliver cave um would michael ever want to start a family if so what breed would they be i reckon he'd have hamsters and lots of them i'm gonna ducks i like ducks yeah he likes ducks lately because jackson had a duck or pigeons and but how's ducks pigs a llama lamas spit i feel like you have spitting comps with them do they golly for golly yeah they spit at you have you never seen that i reckon you could befriend it yeah like imagine having one of each of those animals and then you hang out in a barn and you build like it build like a like an ark as well you can do that if you want and like just get start literally trying to get enough for me imagine being so rich that you literally just trying to get two of every animal in the whole world at your house you become noa yeah and you legally change your name to noa and you have you spend like a billion dollars building the largest wooden ship i wonder if people would believe you it's like the biggest prank in the world on on the world it's already happened on the world it's a prank on the world they've already like rebuilt the art and you guys look that up every morning and pretend like god and then go back inside and go on social media and say god just spoke to me we're all fucked there's a big rainstorm coming boys come to my ark on the fucking 15 february fucking 22 300 otherwise it will use can't wash away brother oh dude that's how it first happened i have an answer for you i wonder if people if you have followers you're like dude 100 percent there'll be so many christians who are like fuck this is it this is fucking what's happening again you have to commit to the vibrate you do yeah well because you want to convince people yeah dude it'll be hard yeah okay um maybe we should do it michael they did i'm saying they did rebuild the ark so dubbed the ark encounter a full-scale noa's ark attraction and theme park opened in 2016 in northern kentucky uh it's constructed to the dimensions exactly described in the bible in the book of genesis i wonder how big it is in real life fucking read the book so yeah i have i just can't remember the dimensions and shit yeah well anyway a barn would be good enough an ark would be great but imagine just hanging out and all those animals are just your pals and then like talk to you yeah i'm gonna say yeah yeah well that changes everything they can talk to you yeah if animals can talk to you i'd be friends of them you'd never be you'd never be upset ever again imagine like 10 bozzlies but they're different shapes and sizes and ones are cow and they can all talk to you love cows and they can all talk to you and they're all really innocent like like fucking kids because animals don't have a bad bone in their body oh man and then like oh it just be the best imagine like you go to sleep and your pillow is the cow yeah like you just fucking your head is on the and you've got the duck sucking your dick plucking at your balls while the pig gobbles on your cock you can guess he could go down that path if you want it but i'm just like a pillow you're a weird the duck sucking your dick next question please brown next question is from air force one um would you guys ever move away from brisbane um why do you love brisbane so much brisby's i don't know it depends i would i don't i'm definitely not like married to the idea of living here forever but where would you go i don't know that's the thing gal cast no not like be good to go into land somewhere it'd be good to go still brisbane michael no you'd go like sunny coast or that's different that's sunshine coast be fun to retire maybe in mount tambourine well well sorry brisbane's bro i have fuck it next question oh remember last week we i went i went to uh there's something it was a guy named hunter asked a question and i halfway through i said now fuck it or you guys had fun that question he wrote back to me he was like like you're about to read my question out and then you didn't so i fucking raged oh we're sorry but then like two but like two questions later he'd asked a follow-up question and i read that one out but he'd already do like destroyed his house he reckons in a fit of rage oh man it made that comment made me laugh well i'm gonna wait till the end of the podcast we're the best men in brisman sorry next question is from sam born identity uh will there be another boys trip soon if so can you guys film it for the website brown dress as a geisha girl was one of the most hilarious things kind of hot we've been looking into uh the accommodation for the boys trip usually at the end of january we don't usually film it though no we usually don't we talked about this the other week we don't it's hard like we will try and we will there will definitely be stuff filmed but like we did do a real i remember i set up the the trick shot with the ping pong yeah yeah we've got a few little weird things but even the if the boys trip before that we got a video out of it they just they it's just a very tame version of what's going on obviously we kind of our mates doing drugs and shit on camera even for the website because they have like careers and shit outside of social media most of our friends like nearly all of them aren't social media people so like it's weird to imagine rocking up with to do drugs with all your mates and then you're fucking like start filming it you know it's a bit like everyone's very aware that there's a camera you've hired a filmer yeah yeah yeah but we do want to film a lot of it okay we will do our best we'll try and fucking keep get a video out of it like an olympics or something i'll do another olympics or something like that you know yeah so we'll get something out of it don't worry next question is from yannick walton yannick walton when are you guys finally getting better podcast chairs yeah this one's fucked hey it's like my ass is sunk all the way through that's this shit and that my chair last week broke and we see chairs all we have fucking 20 chairs outside how are you comfortable dude i got this one off curbside collection it and it you literally sink into it like half cannot be like 30 centimeters can't be fucked with like nice nice things i think when we get as we break it i think when we set the next um we still have this guy oh the guy with his arms tied behind his back he'll be there for six months he's gonna stay in the corner he's gonna love you drew a face on it yes he's the chair guy um i think if we go for a new set we might get something can you maybe yeah a hundred percent next season set we're thinking of making it good like normal good like what a normal good podcast has do you know oh man we might even have two angles yeah well yeah no we will that's the goal fucking three angles even next oh yeah would be like two good cameras and probably like a wide phone camera for like just a wide every now and then next question is from johnny rambo 49 um as scientists and being the best men in the world in the world no just best man yeah um can a man catch a javelin question mark oh i wrote this down as soon as i saw it okay we're filming this that is a great idea this is possible this is not dangerous at all we can do this i think it's dangerous remember the golf balls yeah remember the judge you got it's so much bigger than a golf ball have you lose sight of the javelin though it's a bit different yeah no we just will have blunt ones remember the guy yeah just use the one from your other videos i would imagine if that's still cracking in the head yeah you'd split your skull do you remember the umpire or the judge in the yeah he got speared in the leg he lost it in he lost it in the in the light and it fucking got him in the shoulder or shoulder or something and it's stuck in full like speed him oh oh i'm like they're like oh dan we got to measure it from there and so he had to fucking keep it in until he actually wasn't allowed to move you're kidding but he did get he did get speared though okay and his name was did he live yeah i don't know sure thank you pretty sure did we answer that question what was that yeah we're gonna do something with that he was suggesting yeah yeah great suggestion um question for the podcast is from michael cox all right this is i need you to concentrate ready all right ready three two one all right would you rather ask one question to an alien or one question to a time traveler what would the questions be also matt brown has a really spherical head i would ask a time traveler and i would say what's the time and then turn around to see if it gets a laugh and then i'll shit i'll just wait for my question and no one really laughed michael's definitely gonna be aliens oh dude i i don't know right now would you ask him like maybe what the time is i think i'd probably go time traveler and then try and get the lot enough he could give me the codes to the nuclear no just the power to time travel as well oh yeah that'd be good and then you can just time travel and shit then you will become more knowledgeable than an alien how are you i'm good imagine saying that wasting your question on the time traveler you're talking to me the time how are you dude what the fuck is matt brown doing nothing at all oh no imagine sam imagine wasting the question now we're moving on to the next question because you guys you guys can't take questions seriously imagine being the time no i didn't answer it that would know you didn't yes what did i say i didn't even listen time traveler yeah i said i would ask if how to become a time traveler oh yeah time traveler then i sorry yeah you did i then i might upset me with his answer imagine the imagine how i like in your time traveler gets a notification someone in enough time there's a really important question and you get out of bed and you get there and then he just says how are you yeah hey mate how are you man that would be great it'd be if you were with a mate to make a joke but i reckon the friend we're getting yeah if you had a few beers and you'd enlighten the guy comes all right asking me a really important question yeah okay how are you yeah if i was with you and you did that after like a bit of a session i would understand like we could progress humankind so far and then we ask him how we use michael i would accept that though i would have a good laugh where would you honestly do that i probably honestly do that what would you go i go figure out how the pyramids were made yeah that'd be probably oh next question is from peter haunt um would you ever go out in the real world as the brown family as a prank um no i wouldn't i wouldn't that's too far such a commitment yeah and it's just too too much it's too too devastating for people to see i wouldn't do that to that's like there we draw the line there i'm not doing that what was the question moving on all right serious one one bong and he's fucking fucked next question is from reb skel uh do you guys also think that ellic ballman is a damn good shooter i don't know laugh if you guys don't get this i don't go because this is relevant it's like the yeah apparently he shot someone they say and oh yeah he's a he shot uh someone on set right yeah so he got handed a gun that he thought was not loaded and he yeah he killed someone oh so it's not his fault then right no it's not his fault but i just oh dude it's happened what i just read today was is he might still get in trouble because he's actually the executive producer of the film oh man that's rough man did the person die yeah he shot them dead girl yeah recently yep he shot her yeah so the camera she was behind the camera she's a cinematographer and um yeah he took out the gun and apparently took it out and shot and nothing happened then he took it out again for another taken shot and it shot a whatever it was a piece not a bullet but i think a fragment maybe fragment because they don't have blanks in there or something it went through yeah some of it went through her chest and then went and then hit the director like went in and out and hit a director so he injured two people kill one of them that's fucked up imagine just like that happens it's happened before staying character to brood like yeah staying character through the take Bruce Lee's um do you remember Bruce Lee's son he died from the same thing got shot with a blank with blanks in the gum but i think i mean brisman like yeah there's a dancer brooklyn stand yeah killed sacrifice man that just goes to show man even blanks can be dangerous out there so don't ever go up and talk to any uh next question for marty um is from adam door door um that was so good that was a good bit marty you've got such a good voice for reading out diary entries um have you ever thought about doing an audiobook or tell a paranormal story um i haven't thought about it i'm thinking about it now all right i'll do it okay how good is mr ballon oh i haven't i haven't another sesh for a while but yeah because he posts less and less now because he's fucking massive now and his videos have to be insane but man very good man sorry did i mention he's talking to us yeah last week yeah next question is from mad dog none none um question for michael you've kissed all the prasad brothers have you ever tried to kiss austin surely you've kissed austin oh maybe like in a bender i've had with him we probably have kissed yeah like seriously michael can't remember he's kissed so many men i wonder how many you've kissed more men or women dude literally the other day i came with that seafood that we got in new market i walked up to a dude and he's like you might not remember this but i asked for a photo of you in the toilets the other night and you're like and you're like yeah only if we're kissing in it and obviously i remember i've started like oh you're a phase with fans i only do fucking uh next question is from questin brown although i don't know if it's the questin brown there's a few floating around um it's you just listen in rhyme concentrate brown town question how did julian become so fucked up some of his stories of the university is so messed up what happened to him as a child to make him the way he is was he one of matt brown's early victims question mark yeah i don't know hey i don't know he seems to have had a very lovely childhood but you just never know these days all right we've got two questions left and they would you rather's um doctor shit yeah yeah so next one is from born with it you know clissa adams this is for me sorry i didn't realize i don't know matt sorry about that i can't uh matt which would you rather marty never being able to talk again or michael losing his sense of humor and he becomes mr serious it's frog frog ha ha ha ha ha he's frog is that what you become that's the fucking frog god look at his mullet he's frog he's frog anyway i'd have to say i'd have to keep marty talking and mark will become mr serious because as long as he's still part of it we could just fuck with him so much and it'd be funny it'd be so funny it'd be so funny having a really straight serious character amongst us at all times who never laughed at the thing that we did hates everything tells you the consequences maybe we should find one oh man still smell like fucking fish dude i know i've had two showers and i never shall air the van it smells bad by the way today we've went out you know the sirstraming fish the from sweden they're like the worst smelling things ever we went out and there's a public and libraries and shit and the uni's and just started eating it cleared the rooms cleared them is it good there's a good footage no one really said anything to us apart from one librarian but so i don't know their actions weren't like crazy but it was pretty funny like people were we were walking through because i slopped a few of the cans on my walking around the uni's and people just oh oh when we walk so aggressively annoyed yeah like might he said we're in the library and there's like a group of girls like 10 meters away and we hadn't even walked past them yet we just walked in this thing is like it is insane how much like that's the thing that bugs me out how can they eat that in sweden if that's what your fucking house is going to smell like for the next however they must prep it in like the outdoor swedish food house then yeah it must be outdoors because my everything still smells so far we should ask them anyway that video will be out on the website or we'll make a social media cut we're not sure yet see how good the footage is i'm calling it a day there that's the end of the questions everyone it goes to give ourselves a big round of applause baby boy thank you so much keep those questions rolling in baby boy comment which favorite number is he says cut on the back yeah man that chairman's been leaning on me but i ended his life so i'm okay with that watch the cords michael's if you hear that the cords are the circle i missed the next segment is jaloo p o unboxing time and here we have one two three four five six seven eight nine ten letters or from the same person and it's the same guy who writes this fucking code the fuck is this mat what the fuck is that i'm actually most excited to open now yeah me too something different that's a record of smallest letter all right so these are all letters so we're just going to open them if these are all codes this could be the very worst podcast gift that we've ever been sent well not that they're all gifts but the worst p i want boxing that we've ever been opening letters is hard all right agreed here's a big a three piece of paper with a massive dick and balls on it says if you were to suck my cock would you drink my sperm come would you let me suck your cock no no i would not oh fuck he's weird what's that michael maybe wangs to this michael he's wanking to you right now my cock is as small as this letter he's ranking to you right now opening this no no no way brown he's not way he can't even see me definitely wanking to you michael he loves brown's voice all right let's see what else we got here fucking hell it's another picture we oh fuck it's such a deeper harder someone's sucking a cock oh michael's dick lots of sperm in my mouth yeah he wants to fuck you dude dude he's he's after you you've got your own question on your hand thank you for all of those letters we'll be sure to read them all dude what the fuck is that what's he got here a little dear money mark i want you to know that even though you guys do weird things and make people laugh show me jaden joshan and more think your vids are shit like when jaden said your vids are shit on your which sport is the scariest and it was soccer i can tell that you guys were being nice and friendly to him so he wouldn't have a fucking cry about it plus jaden hasn't told anymore but here's my bitch and if he gives you beef about your vids or anything else tell me and i'll put him back in order i love you guys marty michael shami and his friends and his brothers i just wanted everyone to keep the peace and not to say rude things about each other's vids also not trying to be dogs too shami his ex gives me erections would you ever let me put your testicles in your mouth my testicle look and someone and so forth fuck we had to save him what if they're all what if they're all what if we're slowly satisfying his fantasies oh there's pictures on our dude there's satisfying his panties fantasies and he's like wanking to us now well what i'm going to do is save all this shit in boxes and then when we're like 70 probably 50 for me we'll open it up wait what when we're 70 probably 50 for me you're saying that i will be 70 when you're 50 that makes no sense well 50 is in like i'm only four years older than you okay i reckon six i'll probably make to 60 now then we open it up and we can have a look back at these little memories hey put it there mate yeah these were very long twisted letters okay thank you that worries me that he's out there thank you very much yeah well fuck it's better than nothing that's the way i see it that's true we wouldn't have had p.r box say if you want to send this shit we open it live baby like send us something from your business or something if you want to promote something just let us know we'll happily do that in p.r box right here send us some teeth we've already some body really fluids we've already been sent teeth and pierce and all sorts of shit please send us more send us a dildo what what what what excrement did we say we hadn't been sent yet blood we haven't been sent blood i think period blood we had period blood that's true what was it then what what was spit have we been so i don't know anyway i'm looking forward to the new idea for next season that could be a banger dude we should all couldn't get everyone to contribute to the golly bottle make it make a communal golly bottle people send in this gollies to the p.o box no the thing is if you only have one golly it hardens and evaporates you know you need more than one golly to keep a family going but are we still keen on creating a creation from whatever on sends in yeah yeah that's that's the plan for next year's p.o box yeah like send a finger a bit of head mention we can build another requiefton for for mad if you want imagine a fully actual mascot in the center yeah i've made of real decomposing human it's gonna be fast we could fuck it mad i reckon this could be your love we could create my probably the only thing that'll accept my boldest well if we don't put hair on her then she would we can just not put her on it why did they have to be bald because i'm not accepting me that's just how it is i think i'm not sure what i think it's the exchange rate you gotta go out social exchange rate they say it they say it to you oh sorry look i've got hair social exchange rate and it's high at the moment social exchange rates never been this high because of the fucking economy yeah it's fucked up times dude anyway that's the p.o unboxing and now we dive into a final segment and this week it's a prank call all right we haven't filmed yet we're filming at the very end i have to muster all my energy we're gonna have to have another bong break oh dude this is gonna be hard for me and i'm going to scream my fucking lungs out at michael all the abuse i can think of well he tried all the door well he tries to order all over food okay while he's trying to order food i'm gonna abuse him this is the the abusive partner part three all right we've done this twice already what are you normally my partner or my father um look it doesn't matter my partner nor both let's i'm both i'm your partner your father partner okay i can have that yeah you will you will have that you'll have it when i say you'll have it here we go more stains man i've got stains on my fucking skin man holy shit what the fuck hey um hello could i please make an order for pick up oh fuck off god are you fucking on that fucking phone again can't yes so you fucking bitch you dumb bitch um could i please place in order just for uh a do you guys do four pizza deal yeah like a combo is this uh what's the highest pizza deal that you do let me rip your fucking head let me rip your fucking head okay how's that fucking feel bitch huh there's that fucking could i start i'll just start with can i get a ham and cheese off your fucking flesh can't adam what get me around can't hey could i please just place an order for three pizzas three i'm gonna be able to fucking smash your knees around the wrong way can't how's that can't huh let me piss you start with the ham and cheese thank you fucking look at me like you did certainly also get uh vegetarian i think it's the spicy veg yeah just spicy what the fuck you've been doing in real life you don't fucking come in your eyes come just the classic come in your eyes please and the third one is simply shit with a hot spoon gun and a simply cheese yeah with um cannot is that coming is that got oregano on it the simply cheese clean my bag man clean my bag there's a rake out the front you fucking dumb fuck bitch could i get oregano on it please you haven't fucking seen where your babies are come can i hear baby your babies are in the house man i just fucking loose could i also get yeah just some desserts have you got the uh chocolate mousses yeah yeah bring the business bring the business deal with the pizzas can you get like a garlic bread and drink oh it's baby come off oh can't you piss off yeah can't you piss off tonight baby oh can't you piss off tonight all right well could i could i please get the um like a garlic bread but could i get the cheesy garlic and um yeah could i also with the drink is it possibly um i'm so sorry mate i'm so sorry bro i'm fucking blind man can't you tell can't you tell him bro i'm so sorry dude i don't i don't think he's in my husband i will suck your tits come on come on come on come off of your chest expect him in the bin bitch i'm sorry you see he doesn't want me to have it are you telling my name i fuck you're dark i'll fuck you're dark you're telling my name i'm sorry come on replace my testicles they're full blue and shit i can see it again i just had my eyes closed that's all i'm sorry i'm gonna make you come on off i can be back man get ready baby he's kidding he's kidding he's not really crying anyway see you later he thinks that you made out you made me think that he thinks i'm in trouble yeah that's why he was staying on he's worried he thought he was listening to someone being abused i hope he doesn't have your number cops it's kind of like poetry dude some of the shit you said when you said something about being a duck yeah i'm gonna fuck your duck face you pulled at me as you said that man i almost lost it that was it i did so i had to pretend i was crying good boy i loved the um strange they're very strange but i loved the you're worried where the kids you where the kids are you looking at whether i hear where the kids oh hopefully he doesn't think that's like a really abusive home and he's doing his best to find something out no i reckon he was just entertained by the poetry shit because there was some really cool right he definitely thought you were crying though yeah but that's better than laughing now he might take action no he'll be fun should we call him back i'm calling him back but you have to say it because he'll he'll know it's if i'm saying it sounds like i'm calling back to say well make sure he's not fucking and you threaten him which one was it that's him oh fuck it we did it oh we finished have we yep well just goes to show this way how many more left happens when you're the best two we've got two left baby boy the pinnacle oh we might be getting brandon novak on the season finale really yeah baby oh really oh yeah yeah baby zoom cold oh we don't know that i haven't opened the message i haven't yeah it's well i haven't booked in a time but he's uh he's keen holy shit yeah baby there you go where the best where the best where the best where the best where the best where the best where the best where the best where the Wait in the ass! Do you want to run away and get married, Julian? Yeah, ju-ju-Julian.