 CHAPTER IV Ginger in a Dangerous Mood Some few days later, owing to the fact that the latter, being preoccupied, did not see him first, Bruce Carmile met his cousin Lancelot in Piccadilly. They had returned by different routes from Rovile, and Ginger would have preferred the separation to continue. He was hurrying on with a nod when Carmile stopped him. Just the man I wanted to see, he observed. Oh, hello, said Ginger, without joy. I was thinking of calling at your club. Yes? Yes. Cigarette? Ginger peered at the proffered case with the vague suspicion of the man who has allowed himself to be lured on to the platform and is accepting a card from the conjurer. He felt bewildered. In all the years of their acquaintance he could not recall another such exhibition of geniality on his cousin's part. He was surprised, indeed, at Mr. Carmile speaking to him at all, for the affair scrimgeur remained an unhealed wound, and the family, Ginger knew, were even now in session upon it. Been back in London long? Day or two? I heard quite by accident that you had returned and that you were staying at the club. By the way, thank you for introducing me to Miss Nicholas. Ginger started violently. What? I was in that compartment, you know, at Rovile Station. You threw her right on top of me. We agreed to consider that an introduction, an attractive girl. Bruce Carmile had not entirely made up his mind regarding Sally, but on one point he was clear that she should not, if he could help it, pass out of his life. Her abrupt departure had left him with that baffled and dissatisfied feeling which, though it has little in common with love at first sight, frequently produces the same effects. She had had, he could not disguise it from himself, the better of their late encounter, and he was conscious of a desire to meet her again and show her that there was more in him than she apparently supposed. Bruce Carmile, in a word, was peaked, and, though he could not quite decide whether he liked or disliked Sally, he was very sure that a future without her would have an element of flatness. A very attractive girl. We had a very pleasant talk. I bet you did, said Ginger, enviously. By the way, she did not give you her address by any chance. Why? said Ginger suspiciously. His attitude towards Sally's address resembled somewhat that of a connoisseur who has acquired a unique work of art. He wanted to keep it to himself and gloat over it. Well, I, er, I promised to send her some books she was anxious to read. I shouldn't think she gets much time for reading. Books which are not published in America. Oh, pretty nearly everything is published in America. What bound to be I mean? Well, these particular books are not, said Mr. Carmile shortly. He was finding Ginger's reserve a little trying, and wished that he had been more inventive. Give them to me, and I'll send them to her, suggested Ginger. Good Lord man, snapped Mr. Carmile, I'm capable of sending a few books to America. Where does she live? Ginger revealed the sacred number of the Holy Street which had the luck to be Sally's headquarters. He did it because with a persistent devil like his cousin there seemed no way of getting out of it, but he did it grudgingly. Thanks! Bruce Carmile wrote the information down with a gold pencil in a dapper little Morocco bound notebook. He was the sort of man who always has a pencil, and the backs of old envelopes never enter into his life. There was a pause. Bruce Carmile coughed. I saw Uncle Donald this morning, he said. His manner had lost its geniality. There was no need for it now, and he was a man who objected to waste. He spoke coldly, and in his voice there was a familiar subtingle of reproof. Yes, said Ginger Moodyly. This was the uncle in whose office he had made his debut as a hasher, a worthy man, highly respected in the National Liberal Club, but never a favorite of Ginger's. There were other minor uncles and a few subsidiary aunts who went to make up the family, but Uncle Donald was unquestionably the managing director of that body, and it was Ginger's considered opinion that in this capacity he approximated to a human blister. He wants you to dine with him tonight at Bleaks. Ginger's depression deepened. A dinner with Uncle Donald would hardly have been a cheerful function, even in the surroundings of a banquet in the Arabian Nights. There was that about Uncle Donald's personality which would have cast a sobering influence over the orgies of the Emperor Tiberius at Capri. To dine with him at a morgue like that relic of old London, Bleaks Coffee House, which confined its custom principally to regular patrons who had not missed an evening there for half a century, was to touch something very near Bedrock. Ginger was extremely doubtful whether flesh and blood were equal to it. Tonight, he said, oh, you mean tonight? Well, don't be a fool, you know as well as I do that you've got to go. Uncle Donald's invitations were royal commands in the family. If you have another engagement you must put it off. Oh, all right. 730 sharp. All right! said Ginger gloomily. The two men went their ways. Bruce Carmile eastwards because he had clients to see in his chambers at the temple. Ginger westwards because Mr. Carmile had gone east. There was little sympathy between these cousins, yet oddly enough their thoughts, as they walked, centered on the same object. Bruce Carmile, threading his way briskly through the crowds of Piccadilly Circus, was thinking of Sally, and so was Ginger as he loathed aimlessly towards Hyde Park Corner, bumping in a sort of coma, from pedestrian to pedestrian. Since his return to London Ginger had been in bad shape. He mooned through the days and slept poorly at night. If there is one thing rottener than another in a pretty blighted world, one thing which gives a fellow the pip and reduces him to the condition of an absolute onion, it is hopeless love. Hopeless love had got Ginger all stirred up. His had been hitherto a placid soul. Even the financial crash which had so altered his life had not bruised him very deeply. His temperament had enabled him to bear the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune with a philosophic right-ho. But now everything seemed different. Things irritated him acutely, which before he had accepted as inevitable. His Uncle Donald's mustache, for instance, and its owner's habit of employing it during meals as a sort of zareba or earthwork against the assaults of soup. By Gad thought Ginger, stopping suddenly opposite Devonshire House, if he uses that damned shrubbery as soup strainer tonight, I'll slosh him with a fork. Hard thoughts, hard thoughts, and getting harder all the time for nothing grows more quickly than a mood of rebellion. Rebellion is a forest fire that flames across the soul. The spark had been lighted in Ginger, and long before he reached Hyde Park Corner he was ablaze and crackling. By the time he returned to his club he was practically a menace to society, to that section of it at any rate which embraced his Uncle Donald, his minor uncles George and William, and his aunts Mary, Geraldine, and Louise. Nor had the mood passed when he began to dress for the dismal festivities of Bleak's coffee-house. He scowled as he struggled morosely with an obstinate tie. One cannot disguise the fact. Ginger was warming up, and it was just at this moment that fate, as though it had been waiting for the psychological instant, applied the finishing touch. There was a knock at the door and a waiter came in with a telegram. Ginger looked at the envelope. It had been readdressed and forwarded on from the Hotel Normandy. It was a wireless, handed in on board the White Star Liner Olympic, and it ran as follows. Remember. Death to the family. S. Ginger sat down heavily on the bed. The driver of the taxi cab, which at twenty-five minutes past seven drew up at the dingy door of Bleak's coffee-house in the Strand, was rather struck by his fares manner and appearance. A determined-looking sort of young bloke was the taxi driver's verdict. End of Chapter 4, read by Kara Schellenberg on August 15, 2008, in San Diego, California. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Adventures of Sally by P. G. Woodhouse, Chapter 5 Sally Hears News It had been Sally's intention, on arriving in New York, to take a room at the St. Regis and revel in the gilded luxury to which her wealth entitled her before moving into the small but comfortable apartment which, as soon as she had the time, she intended to find and make her permanent abode. But when the moment came, and she was giving directions to the taxi driver at the dock, there seemed to her something revoltingly filmorian about the scheme. It would be time enough to sever herself from the boarding house which had been her home for three years when she had found the apartment. Meanwhile, the decent thing to do, if she did not want to brand herself in the sight of her conscience as a female filmor, was to go back temporarily to Mrs. Meachor's admirable establishment and foregather with her old friends. After all, home is where the heart is, even if there are more prunes there than the gourmet would consider judicious. Perhaps it was the unavoidable complacency induced by the thought that she was doing the right thing, or perhaps it was the tingling expectation of meeting Gerald Foster again after all these weeks of separation that made the familiar streets seem wonderfully bright as she drove through them. It was a perfect, crisp New York morning, all blue sky and amber sunshine, and even the ash cans had a stimulating look about them. The streetcars were full of happy people rollicking off to work. Policemen directed the traffic with jaunty affability, and the white-clad street cleaners went about their poetic tasks with a quiet but nonetheless noticeable relish. It was improbable that any of these people knew that she was back, but somehow they all seemed to be behaving as though this were a special day. The first discordant note in this overture of happiness was struck by Mrs. Meachor, who informed Sally, after expressing her gratification at the news that she required her old room, that Gerald Foster had left town that morning. Gone to Detroit he has, said Mrs. Meachor, Miss Dolan too. She broke off to speak a caustic word to the boarding-house handyman, who, with Sally's trunk as a weapon, was depreciating the value of the wallpaper in the hall. There's that play of his being tried out there, you know, Monday, resumed Mrs. Meachor, after the handyman had bumped his way up the staircase. They've been rehearsing ever since you left. Sally was disappointed, but it was such a beautiful morning, and New York was so wonderful after the dull voyage in the liner that she was not going to allow herself to be depressed without good reason. After all, she could go on to Detroit tomorrow. It was nice to have something to which she could look forward. Oh, is Elsa in the company, she said? Sure, and very good, too, I hear. Mrs. Meachor kept abreast of theatrical gossip. She was an ex-member of the profession herself, having been in the first production of Floridora, though, unlike everybody else, not one of the original sextet. Mr. Fawcett was down to see a rehearsal, and he said Miss Dolan was fine, and he's not easy to please, as you know. How is Mr. Fawcett? Mrs. Meachor, not unwillingly, for she was a woman who enjoyed the tragedies of life, made her second essay in the direction of lowering Sally's uplifted mood. Poor old gentleman, he ain't over and above well. Went to bed early last night with a headache, and this morning I've been to see him, and he don't look well. There's a lot of this Spanish influenza about—it might be that. Lots of people have been dying of it, if you believe what you see in the papers—said Mrs. Meachor buoyantly. Good gracious! You don't think! Well, he ain't turned black, admitted Mrs. Meachor with regret. They say they turned black, if you believe what you see in the papers, that is. Of course, that may come later. She added, with the air of one confident, that all will come right in the future. The doctor'll be in to see him pretty soon. He's quite happy—Toto's sitting with him. Sally's concern increased. Like every one who had ever spent any length of time in the house, she had strong views on Toto. This quadruped, who stained the fame of the entire canine race by posing as a dog, was a small woolly animal, with a persistent and penetrating yelp, hard to bear with equanimity and health, and certainly quite outside the range of a sick man. Her heart bled for Mr. Fawcett. Mrs. Meachor, on the other hand, who held a faith in her little pet's amyability and power to soothe which seven years' close association had been unable to shake, seemed to feel that, with Toto on the spot, all that could be done had been done, as far as pampering the invalid was concerned. I must go up and see him, cried Sally, poor old dear. Sure, you know his room. You can hear Toto talking to him now, said Mrs. Meachor complacently. He wants a cracker, that's what he wants. Toto likes a cracker after breakfast. The invalid's eyes, as Sally entered the room, turned wearily to the door. At the sight of Sally they lit up with an incredulous rapture. Almost any intervention would have pleased Mr. Fawcett at that moment, for his little playmate had long outstayed any welcome that might originally have been his. But that the caller should be his beloved Sally, seemed to the old man something in the nature of a return of the age of miracles. Sally! One moment. Here, Toto! Toto, struck momentarily dumb by the sight of food, had jumped off the bed, and was standing with his head on one side, peering questioningly at the cracker. He was a suspicious dog, but he allowed himself to be lured into the passage, upon which Sally threw the cracker down, and slipped in, and shut the door. Toto, after a couple of yaps, which may have been gratitude or a baffled fury, trotted off downstairs, and Mr. Fawcett drew a deep breath. Sally, you come as ever as an angel of mercy. Our worthy Mrs. Meacher means well, and I yield to no man in my respect for her innate kindness of heart, but she heirs in supposing that that thrice-dammed whelp of hers is a combination of sick nurse, soothing medicine, and a week at the seaside. She insisted on bringing him here. He was yapping then, as he was yapping when, with womanly resource which I cannot sufficiently praise, you decoyed him hence, and each yap went through me like hammer-strokes on sheeted tin. Sally, you stand alone among womankind. You shine like a good deed in a naughty world. When did you get back? I've only just arrived in my hired barouche from the pier. And you came to see your old friend without delay? I am grateful and flattered, Sally, my dear. Of course I came to see you. Do you suppose that, when Mrs. Meacher told me you were sick, I just said, is that so, and went on talking about the weather? Well, what do you mean by it? Frightening everybody. Poor old darling, do you feel very bad? One thousand individual mice are nibbling the base of my spine, and I am conscious of a constant need of cooling refreshment. But what of that? Your presence is atonic. Tell me, how did our Sally enjoy foreign travel? Our Sally had the time of her life. Did you visit England? Only passing through. How did it look? asked Mr. Fawcett eagerly. Moist. Very moist. It would, said Mr. Fawcett indulgently. I confess that happy as I have been in this country there are times when I miss those wonderful London days, when a sort of cozy brown mist hangs over the streets, and the pavements ooze with a perspiration of mud and water, and you see through the haze the yellow glow of the bodega lamps shining in the distance like harbour lights. Not, said Mr. Fawcett, that I specify the bodega to the exclusion of other and equally worthy hostelries. I have passed just as pleasant hours in rules and shorts. You missed something by not lingering in England, Sally. I know I did. Pneumonia. Mr. Fawcett shook his head reproachfully. You are prejudiced, my dear. You would have enjoyed London if you had had the courage to brave its superficial gloom. Where did you spend your holiday, Paris? Part of the time, and the rest of the while I was down by the sea. It was glorious. I don't think I would ever have come back if I hadn't had to, but of course I wanted to see you all again, and I wanted to be at the opening of Mr. Foster's play. Mrs. Meacher tells me you went to one of the rehearsals. I attended a dog-fight, which I was informed was a rehearsal, said Mr. Fawcett severely. There is no rehearsing nowadays. Oh, dear. Was it as bad as all that? The play is good. The play, I will go further, is excellent. It has fat, but the acting. Mrs. Meacher said you told her that Elsa was good. Our worthy hostess did not misreport me. Miss Doeland has great possibilities. She reminds me somewhat of Matilda Divine, under whose banner I played a season at the old royalty in London many years ago. She has the seeds of greatness in her, but she is wasted in the present case on an insignificant part. There is only one part in the play. I allude to the one murdered by Miss Mabel Hobson. Murdered? Sally's heart sank. She had been afraid of this, and it was no satisfaction to feel that she had warned Gerald. Is she very terrible? She has the face of an angel, and the histrionic ability of that curious, suet pudding which our estimable Mrs. Meacher has apt to give us on Fridays. In my professional career I have seen many cases of what I may term the lady friend, in the role of star, but Miss Hobson eclipses them all. I remember in the year 94, a certain scion of the plutocracy took it into his head to present a female, for whom he had conceived an admiration, in a part which would have taxed the resources of the ableist. I was engaged in her support, and at the first rehearsal I recollect saying to my dear old friend, Arthur Mosby, dead alas these many years, an excellent juvenile, but like so many good fellows, cursed with a tendency to lift the elbow, I recollect saying to him, Arthur, dear boy, I give it two weeks. Max, was his reply, you are an incurable optimist, one consecutive night, laddie, one consecutive night. We had, I recall, an even half crown upon it. He won. We opened at Wigan, our leading lady got the bird, and the show closed next day. I was forcibly reminded of this incident as I watched Miss Hobson rehearsing. Oh! poor, poor Mr. Foster! I do not share your commiseration for that young man, said Mr. Fawcett austerely. You probably are almost a stranger to him, but he and I have been thrown together a good deal of late. A young man upon whom, mark my words, success, if it ever comes, will have the worst effects. I dislike him, Sally. He is, I think, without exception, the most selfish and self-centered young man of my acquaintance. He reminds me very much of old Billy Fathergill, with whom I toured a good deal in the later eighties. Did I ever tell you the story of Billy and the amateur who— Sally was in no mood to listen to the adventures of Mr. Fathergill. The old man's innocent criticism of Gerald had stabbed her deeply. A momentary impulse to speak hotly in his defence died away as she saw Mr. Fawcett's pale, worn old face. He had meant no harm, after all. How could he know what Gerald was to her? She changed the conversation abruptly. Have you seen anything of Fillmore while I've been away? Fillmore? Why, yes, my dear, curiously enough I happened to run into him on Broadway only a few days ago. He seemed changed, less stiff and aloof than he had been for some time past. I may be wronging him, but there have been times of late when one might almost have fancied him a trifle upstage. All that was gone at our last encounter. He appeared glad to see me and was most cordial. Sally found her composure restored. Her lecture on the night of the party had evidently, she thought, not been wasted. Mr. Fawcett, however, advanced another theory to account for the change in the man of destiny. I rather fancy, he said, that the softening influence has been the young man's fiancé. What? Fillmore's not engaged? Did he not write and tell you? I suppose he was waiting to inform you when you returned. Yes, Fillmore is betrothed. The lady was with him when we met. A miss Winch. In the profession I understand. He introduced me, a very charming and sensible young lady, I thought. Sally shook her head. She can't be. Fillmore would never have got engaged to anyone like that. Was her hair crimson? Brown, if I recollect rightly. Very loud, I suppose, and overdressed. On the contrary, neat and quiet. You've made a mistake, said Sally decidedly. She can't have been like that. I shall have to look into this. It does seem hard that I can't go away for a few weeks without all my friends taking to beds of sickness and all my brothers getting ensnared by vampires. A knock at the door interrupted her complaint. Mrs. Meacher entered, ushering in a pleasant little man with spectacles and a black bag. The doctor to see you, Mr. Fawcett. Mrs. Meacher cast an appraising eye at the invalid, as if to detect symptoms of approaching discoloration. I've been telling him that what I think you've gotten is this here new Spanish influenza. Two more deaths there were in the paper this morning, if you can believe what you see. I wonder, said the doctor, if you would mind going and bringing me a small glass of water. Why, sure. Not a large glass, a small glass. Just let the tap run for a few moments and take care not to spill any as you come up the stairs. I always ask ladies, like our friend who has just gone, he added, as the door closed, to bring me a glass of water. It keeps them amused and interested and gets them out of the way, and they think I am going to do a conjuring trick with it. As a matter of fact I am going to drink it. Now let's have a look at you. The examination did not take long. At the end of it the doctor seemed somewhat chagrined. Our good friend's diagnosis was correct. I'd give a leg to say it wasn't, but it was. It is this here new Spanish influenza. Not a bad attack. You want to stay in bed and keep warm, and I'll write you out a prescription. You ought to be nursed. Is this young lady a nurse? No, no, merely— Of course I'm a nurse, said Sally decidedly. It isn't difficult, is it, doctor? I know nurses' smooth pillows. I can do that. Is there anything else? Their principal duty is to sit here and prevent the excellent and garrulous lady who has just left us from getting in. They must also be able to aim straight with a book or an old shoe if that small woolly dog I met downstairs tries to force an entrance. If you are equal to these tasks, I can leave the case in your hands with every confidence. But Sally, my dear, said Mr. Fawcett, concerned, you must not waste your time looking after me. You have a thousand things to occupy you. There's nothing I want to do more than help you to get better. I'll just go out and send a wire, and then I'll be right back. Five minutes later Sally was in a Western Union office, telegraphing to Gerald, that she would be unable to reach Detroit in time for the opening. End of Chapter 5, read by Kara Schellenberg on August 15, 2008, in San Diego, California. Chapter 6 of The Adventures of Sally This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Adventures of Sally by P. G. Woodhouse, Chapter 6. First Aid for Fillmore. 1. It was not till the following Friday that Sally was able to start for Detroit. She arrived on the Saturday morning and drove to the hotel statler. Having ascertained that Gerald was stopping in the hotel, and having phoned up to his room to tell him to join her, she went into the dining-room and ordered breakfast. She felt low-spirited as she waited for the food to arrive. The nursing of Mr. Fawcett had left her tired, and she had not slept well on the train. But the real cause of her depression was the fact that there had been a lack of enthusiasm in Gerald's greeting over the telephone just now. He had spoken listlessly, as though the fact of her returning after all these weeks was a matter of no account, and she felt hurt and perplexed. A cup of coffee had a stimulating effect. Men, of course, were always like this in the early morning. It would, no doubt, be a very different Gerald who would presently bound into the dining-room, quickened and restored by a cold shower-bath. In the meantime, here was food, and she needed it. She was pouring out her second cup of coffee when a stout young man, of whom she had caught a glimpse as he moved about that section of the hotel lobby which was visible through the open door of the dining-room, came in and started peering about as though in search of someone. The momentary sight she had had of this young man had interested Sally. She had thought how extraordinarily like he was to her brother Fillmore. Now she perceived that it was Fillmore himself. Sally was puzzled. What could Fillmore be doing so far west? She had supposed him to be a permanent resident of New York, but, of course, your man of affairs and vast interests flits about all over the place. At any rate, here he was, and she called him. And after he had stood in the doorway looking in every direction except the right one for another minute, he saw her and came over to her table. Why, Sally! His manner, she thought, was nervous. One might almost have said embarrassed. She attributed this to a guilty conscience. Presently he would have to break to her the news that he had become engaged to be married without her sisterly sanction, and no doubt he was wondering how to begin. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Europe. I got back a week ago, but I've been nursing poor old Mr. Fawcett ever since then. He's been ill, poor old dear. I've come here to see Mr. Foster's play, The Primrose Way, you know. Is it a success? It hasn't opened yet. Don't be silly, Fill. Do pull yourself together. It opened last Monday. No, it didn't. Haven't you heard? They've closed all the theatres because of this infernal Spanish influenza. Nothing has been playing this week. You must have seen it in the papers. I haven't had time to read the papers. Oh, Fill, what an awful shame! Yes, it's pretty tough. Makes the company all on edge. I've had the darndest time, I can tell you. Why, what have you got to do with it? Fill more coughed. I—er—oh, I didn't tell you that. I'm sort of, er, mixed up in the show. Cracknell—you remember, he was at college with me—suggested that I should come down and look at it. Shouldn't wonder if he wants me to put money into it, and so on. I thought he had all the money in the world. Yes, he has a lot, but these fellows like to let a pal in on a good thing. Is it a good thing? The play is fine. That's what Mr. Fawcett said, but Mabel Hobson— Fillmore's ample face, registered emotion. She's an awful woman, Sally. She can't act, and she throws her weight about all the time. The other day there was a fuss about a paper knife. How do you mean a fuss about a paper knife? One of the props, you know, it got mislaid. I'm certain it wasn't my fault. How could it have been your fault? asked Sally, wonderingly. Love seemed to have the worst effects on Fillmore's mentality. Well, er, you know how it is—angry woman blames the first person she sees—this paper knife. Fillmore's voice trailed off into pained silence. Mr. Fawcett said Elsa Doeland was good. Oh, she's all right, said Fillmore indifferently. But—his face brightened, and animation crept into his voice. But the girl you want to watch is Miss Winch—Gladys Winch. She plays the maid. She's only in the first act, and hasn't much to say, except— Did you ring, madam, and things like that? But it's the way she says them. Sally, that girl's a genius. The greatest character actress in a dozen years. You mark my words. In a darned little while you'll see her name up on Broadway, in electric light. Personality? Ask me. Charm? She wrote the words and music. Looks? All right, all right, I know all about it, Fill. And will you kindly inform me how you dared to get engaged without consulting me? Fillmore blushed richly. Oh, do you know? Yes, Mr. Fawcett told me. Well? Well? Well, I'm only human, argued Fillmore. I call that a very handsome admission. You've got quite modest, Fill. He had certainly changed for the better since their last meeting. It was as if someone had punctured him and let out all the pomposity. If this was due, as Mr. Fawcett had suggested, to the influence of Miss Winch, Sally felt that she could not but approve of the romance. I'll introduce you some time, said Fillmore. I want to meet her very much. I'll have to be going now. I've got to see Bunbury. I thought he might be in here. Who's Bunbury? The producer. I suppose he is breakfasting in his room. I'd better go up. You are busy, aren't you? Little Marvel, it's lucky they've got you to look after them. Fillmore retired, and Sally settled down to wait for Gerald, no longer hurt by his manner over the telephone. Poor Gerald. No wonder he had seemed upset. A few minutes later he came in. Oh, Jerry Darling, said Sally as he reached the table. I'm so sorry. I've just been hearing about it. Gerald sat down. His appearance fulfilled the promise of his voice over the telephone. A sort of nervous dullness wrapped him about like a garment. It's just my luck, he said gloomily. It's the kind of thing that couldn't happen to anyone but me. Damn fools. Where's the sense in shutting the theatres, even if there is influenza about? They let people jam against one another all day in the stores. If that doesn't hurt them, why should it hurt them to go to theatres? Besides, it's all infernal nonsense about this thing. I don't believe there is such a thing as Spanish influenza. People get colds in their heads and think they're dying. It's all a fake scare. I don't think it's that, said Sally. Poor Mr. Fawcett had it quite badly. That's why I couldn't come earlier. Gerald did not seem interested either by the news of Mr. Fawcett's illness or by the fact that Sally, after delay, had at last arrived. He dug a spoon somberly into his grapefruit. We've been hanging about here day after day getting bored to death all the time. The company's going all to pieces. They're sick of rehearsing and rehearsing when nobody knows if we'll ever open. They were all keyed up a week ago, and they've been sagging ever since. It will ruin the play, of course. My first chance just chucked away. Sally was listening with a growing feeling of desolation. She tried to be fair to remember that he had had a terrible disappointment and was under a great strain. And yet it was unfortunate that self-pity was a thing she particularly disliked in a man. Her vanity, too, was hurt. It was obvious that her arrival, so far from acting as a magic restorative, had affected nothing. She could not help remembering, though it made her feel disloyal, what Mr. Fawcett had said about Gerald. She had never noticed before that he was remarkably self-centered, but he was thrusting the fact upon her attention now. That Hobson woman is beginning to make trouble, went on Gerald, prodding in a despairing sort of way at scrambled eggs. She ought never to have had the part, never. She can't handle it. Elsa Dolan could play it a thousand times better. I wrote Elsa in a few lines the other day, and the Hobson woman went right up in the air. You don't know what a star is till you've seen one of these promoted clothes props from the Follies trying to be one. It took me an hour to talk her round and keep her from throwing up her part. Why not let her throw up her part? For heaven's sake, talk sense, said Gerald quarrelously. Do you suppose that man Cracknell would keep the play on if she wasn't in it? He would close the show in a second, and where would I be then? You don't seem to realize that this is a big chance for me. I'd look a fool throwing it away. I see, said Sally shortly. She had never felt so wretched in her life. Foreign travel, she decided, was a mistake. It might be pleasant and broadening to the mind, but it seemed to put you so out of touch with people when you got back. She analyzed her sensations, and arrived at the conclusion that what she was resenting was the fact that Gerald was trying to get the advantages of two attitudes simultaneously. A man in trouble may either be the captain of his soul and superior to pity, or he may be a broken thing for a woman to pet and comfort. Gerald, it seemed to her, was advertising himself as an object for her commiseration, and at the same time raising a barrier against it. He appeared to demand her sympathy while holding himself aloof from it. She had the uncomfortable sensation of feeling herself shut out and useless. By the way, said Gerald, there's one thing, I have to keep her jollying along all the time, so for goodness sake don't go letting it out that we're engaged. Sally's chin went up with a jerk. This was too much. If you find it a handicap being engaged to me. Don't be silly. Gerald took refuge in pathos. Good God, it's tough. Here I am, worried to death and you. Before he could finish the sentence, Sally's mood had undergone one of those swift changes, which sometimes made her feel that she must be lacking in character. A simple, comforting thought had come to her, altering her entire outlook. She had come off the train tired and gritty, and what seemed the general out of jointness of the world was entirely due, she decided, to the fact that she had not had a bath, and that her hair was all anyhow. She felt suddenly tranquil. If it was merely her grubby and dishevelled condition that made Gerald seem to her so different, all was well. She put her hand on his with a quick gesture of penitence. I'm so sorry, she said. I've been a brute, but I do sympathize, really. I've had an awful time, mumbled Gerald. I know, I know, but you never told me you were glad to see me. Of course I'm glad to see you. Why didn't you say so, then, you poor fish? And why didn't you ask me if I had enjoyed myself in Europe? Did you enjoy yourself? Yes, except that I missed you so much. There, now we can consider my lecture on foreign travel finished, and you can go on telling me your troubles. Gerald accepted the invitation. He spoke at considerable length, though with little variety. It appeared definitely established in his mind that Providence had invented Spanish influenza purely with a view to wrecking his future. But now he seemed less aloof, more open to sympathy. The brief thunderstorm had cleared the air. Sally lost that sense of detachment and exclusion which had weighed upon her. Well, said Gerald at length, looking at his watch, I suppose I had better be off. Rehearsal? Yes, confound it. It's the only way of getting through the day. Are you coming along? I'll come directly, I've unpacked, and tidied myself up. See you at the theatre, then. Sally went out and rang for the lift to take her up to her room. Two. The rehearsal had started when she reached the theatre. As she entered the dark auditorium, voices came to her with that thin and reedy effect which is produced by people talking in an empty building. She sat down at the back of the house, and, as her eyes grew accustomed to the gloom, was able to see Gerald sitting in the front row beside a man with a bald head fringed with orange hair whom she took correctly to be Mr. Bunbury, the producer. Dotted about the house in ones and twos were members of the company whose presence was not required in the first act. On the stage, Elsa Dolan, looking very attractive, was playing a scene with a man in a bowler hat. She was speaking a line as Sally came in. Why, what do you mean, father? Tiddly-um-ti-tum, was the bowler hat had won the surprising reply. Tiddly-um-ti-um, long speech ending in, find me in the library, and exit, said the man in the bowler hat, starting to do so. For the first time Sally became aware of the atmosphere of nerves. Mr. Bunbury, who seemed to be a man of temperament, picked up his walking stick, which was leaning against the next seat, and flung it with some violence across the house. For God's sake, said Mr. Bunbury. Now what? inquired the bowler hat, interested, pausing halfway across the stage. Do speak the lines, Teddy, exclaimed Gerald. Don't skip them in that sloppy fashion. You don't want me to go over the whole thing, asked the bowler hat, amazed. Yes! Not the whole damn thing, queried the bowler hat, fighting with incredulity. This is a rehearsal, snapped Mr. Bunbury, if we are not going to do it properly, what's the use of doing it at all? This seemed to strike the airing, Teddy, if not as reasonable, at any rate as one way of looking at it. He delivered the speech in an injured tone and shuffled off. The atmosphere of tenseness was unmistakable now, Sally could feel it. The world of the theatre is simply a large nursery, and its inhabitants children who readily become fretful if anything goes wrong. The waiting and the uncertainty, the loafing about in strange hotels in a strange city, the dreary rehearsing of lines which had been polished to the last syllable more than a week ago, these things had sapped the nerve of the Primrose Way Company and demoralization had set in. It would require only a trifle to produce an explosion. Elsa Doeland now moved to the door, pressed a bell, and, taking a magazine from the table, sat down in a chair near the footlights. A moment later, in answer to the ring, a young woman entered to be greeted instantly by an impassioned bellow from Mr. Bunbury. Miss Winch! The new arrival stopped and looked out over the footlights, not in the pained manner of the man in the bowler hat, but with the sort of genial indulgence of one who has come to a juvenile party to amuse the children. She was a square, wholesome, good-humored-looking girl with a serious face, the gravity of which was contradicted by the faint smile that seemed to lurk about the corner of her mouth. She was certainly not pretty, and Sally, watching her with keen interest, was surprised that Fillmore had had the sense to disregard surface homeliness and recognize her charm. Deep down in Fillmore, Sally decided, there must lurk an unsuspected vein of intelligence. Hello, said Miss Winch amably. Mr. Bunbury seemed profoundly moved. Miss Winch, did I or did I not ask you to refrain from chewing gum during rehearsal? That's right, so you did, admitted Miss Winch chumily. Then why are you doing it? Fillmore's fiancée revolved the criticized refreshment about her tongue for a moment before replying. Bit of business, she announced at length. What do you mean a bit of business? Character stuff, explained Miss Winch in her pleasant drawing voice, thought it out myself, maids chew gum, you know. Mr. Bunbury ruffled his orange hair in an overwrought manner with the palm of his right hand. Have you ever seen a maid? he asked despairingly. Yes, sir, and they chew gum. I mean a parlor maid in a smart house, moaned Mr. Bunbury. Do you imagine for a moment that in a house such as this is supposed to be, the parlor maid would be allowed to come into the drawing room champing that disgusting beastly stuff? Miss Winch considered the point. Maybe you're right. She brightened. Listen, great idea. Mr. Foster can write in a line for Elsa, calling me down, and another giving me a good comeback, and then another for Elsa saying something else, and then something really funny for me, and so on. We can work it up into a big comic scene. Five or six minutes. All laughs. This ingenious suggestion had the effect of depriving the producer momentarily of speech, and while he was struggling for utterance, there dashed out from the wings a gorgeous being in blue velvet and a hat of such unimpeachable smartness that Sally ached at the sight of it with a spasm of pure envy. Say! Miss Mabel Hobson had practically every personal advantage which nature can bestow, with the exception of a musical voice. Her figure was perfect, her face beautiful, and her hair a massive spun gold. But her voice in moments of emotion was the voice of a peacock. Say! Listen to me for just one moment. Mr. Bunbury recovered from his trance. Miss Hobson, please. Yes, that's all very well. You are interrupting the rehearsal. You bet your sorrowful existence I'm interrupting the rehearsal, agreed Miss Hobson, with emphasis. And if you want to make a little easy money, you go and bet somebody ten seeds that I'm going to interrupt it again every time there's any talk of writing up any darned part in the show, except mine. Write up other people's parts, not while I have my strength. A young man with butter-colored hair, who had entered from the wings in close attendance on the injured lady, attempted to calm the storm. Now, sweetie. Oh, can it, Reggie, said Miss Hobson curtly. Mr. Cracknell obediently canned it. He was not one of your brutal cavemen. He subsided into the recesses of a high collar, and began to chew the knob of his stick. I'm the star, resumed Miss Hobson vehemently. And if you think anybody else's part's going to be written up, while pardon me while I choke with laughter, if so much as a syllable is written into anybody's part, I walk straight out on my two feet. You won't see me go, I'll be so quick. Mr. Bunbury sprang to his feet, and waved his hands. For heaven's sake, are we rehearsing, or is this a debating society? Miss Hobson, nothing is going to be written into anybody's part. Now are you satisfied? She said, She said, Oh, never mind, observed Miss Winch equably. It was only a random thought, working for the good of the show all the time, that's me. Now, sweetie, pleaded Mr. Cracknell, emerging from the collar, like a tortoise. Miss Hobson reluctantly allowed herself to be reassured. Oh, well, that's all right then, but don't forget I know how to look after myself, she said, stating a fact which was abundantly obvious to all who had had the privilege of listening to her. Any raw work and out I walk so quick it'll make you giddy. She retired, followed by Mr. Cracknell, and the wings swallowed her up. Shall I say my big speech now? inquired Miss Winch over the footlights. Yes, yes, get on with the rehearsal. We've wasted half the morning. Did you ring, madame? said Miss Winch to Elsa, who had been reading her magazine placidly through the late scene. The rehearsal proceeded, and Sally watched it with a sinking heart. It was all wrong. Novice, as she was in things theatrical, she could see that. There was no doubt that Miss Hobson was superbly beautiful, and would have shed luster on any part which involved the minimum of words and the maximum of clothes. But in the pivotal role of a serious play, her very physical attributes only served to emphasize, and to point again, her hopeless incapacity. Sally remembered Mr. Fawcett's story of the lady who got the bird at Wigan. She did not see how history could fail to repeat itself. The theatrical public of America will endure much from youth and beauty, but there is a limit. A shrill, passionate cry from the front row, and Mr. Bunbury was on his feet again. Sally could not help wondering whether things were going particularly wrong today, or whether this was one of Mr. Bunbury's ordinary mornings. Miss Hobson! The action of the drama had just brought that emotional lady on, left centre, and had taken her across to the desk which stood on the other side of the stage. The desk was an important feature of the play, for it symbolized the absorption in business which, exhibited by her husband, was rapidly breaking Miss Hobson's heart. He loved his desk better than his young wife. That was what it amounted to, and no wife can stand that sort of thing. Oh gee! said Miss Hobson, ceasing to be the distressed wife, and becoming the offended star. What's it this time? I suggested at the last rehearsal, and at the rehearsal before, and the rehearsal before that, that on that line, you should pick up the paper knife and toy negligently with it. You did it yesterday, and today you've forgotten it again. My God! cried Miss Hobson, wounded to the quick. If this don't beat everything, how the heck can I toy negligently with a paper knife, when there's no paper knife for me to toy negligently with? The paper knife is on the desk. It's not on the desk. No paper knife? No paper knife, and it's no good picking on me. I'm the star, not the assistant stage manager. If you're going to pick on anybody, pick on him. The advice appeared to strike Mr. Bunbury as good. He threw back his head and bade like a bloodhound. There was a momentary pause, and then from the wings, on the prompt side, there shambles out a stout and shrinking figure in whose hand was a script of the play, and on whose face, lit up by the footlights, there shone a look of apprehension. It was Fillmore, the man of destiny. Alas! Poor Fillmore! He stood in the middle of the stage with the lightning of Mr. Bunbury's wrath playing about his defenseless head, and Sally, recovering from her first astonishment, sent a wave of sisterly commiseration floating across the theatre to him. She did not often pity Fillmore. His was a nature which, in the sunshine of prosperity, had a tendency to grow a trifle lush, and such of the minor ills of life as had afflicted him during the past three years had, she considered, been wholesome and educative, and a matter not for concern but for congratulation. Unmoved, she had watched him through that lean period lunching on coffee and buckwheat cakes, and curbing from motives of economy a somewhat florid taste in dress. But this was different. This was tragedy. Somehow or other, blasting disaster must have smitten the Fillmore bankroll, and he was back where he had started. His presence here this morning could mean nothing else. She recalled his words at the breakfast table about financing the play. How like Fillmore to try to save his face for the moment with an outrageous bluff, though well aware that he would have to reveal the truth sooner or later. She realized how he must have felt when he had seen her at the hotel. Yes, she was sorry for Fillmore. And as she listened to the fervent eloquence of Mr. Bunbury, she perceived that she had every reason to be. Fillmore was having a bad time. One of the chief articles of faith in the creed of all theatrical producers is that if anything goes wrong it must be the fault of the assistant stage manager, and Mr. Bunbury was evidently orthodox in his views. He was showing oratorical gifts of no mean order. The paper knife seemed to inspire him. Gradually Sally began to get the feeling that this harmless, necessary stage property was the source from which sprang most, if not all, of the trouble in the world. It had disappeared before. Now it had disappeared again. Could Mr. Bunbury go on struggling in a universe where the sort of thing happened? He seemed to doubt it. Being a red-blooded one hundred percent American man he would try hard, but it was a hundred to one shot that he would get through. He had asked for a paper knife. There was no paper knife. Why was there no paper knife? Where was the paper knife, anyway? I assure you, Mr. Bunbury, bleated the unhappy Fillmore obsequiously, I placed it with the rest of the properties after the last rehearsal. You couldn't have done. I assure you I did. And it walked away, I suppose, said Miss Hobson with cold scorn, pausing in the operation of brightening up her lower lip with a lipstick. A calm, clear voice spoke. It was taken away, said the calm, clear voice. Miss Winch had added herself to the symposium. She stood beside Fillmore, chewing placidly. It took more than raised voices and gesticulating hands to disturb Miss Winch. Miss Hobson took it. She went on in her cozy, drawing voice. I saw her. Sensation in court. The prisoner, who seemed to feel his position deeply, cast a pop-eyed glance full of gratitude at his advocate. Mr. Bunbury, in his capacity of prosecuting attorney, ran his fingers through his hair in some embarrassment, for he was regretting now that he had made such a fuss. Miss Hobson thus assailed by an underling spun round and dropped the lipstick, which was neatly retrieved by the assiduous Mr. Cracknell. Mr. Cracknell had his limitations, but he was rather good at picking up lipsticks. What's that? I took it. I never did anything of the sort. Miss Hobson took it after the rehearsal yesterday, drawled Gladys Winch, addressing the world in general, and threw it negligently at the theatre-cat. Miss Hobson seemed to take in a back. Her composure was not restored by Mr. Bunbury's next remark. The producer, like his company, had been feeling the strain of the past few days, and, though as a rule he avoided anything in the nature of a clash with the temperamental star, this matter of the missing paper-knife had bitten so deeply into his soul that he felt compelled to speak his mind. In future, Miss Hobson, I should be glad if, when you wished to throw anything at the cat, you would not select a missile from the property box. Good heavens! He cried. Stung, by the way, fate was maltreating him. I have never experienced anything like this before. I have been producing plays all my life, and this is the first time this has happened. I have produced Nazimova. Nazimova never threw paper knives at cats. Well, I hate cats, said Miss Hobson, as though that settled it. I murmured Miss Winch. Love, little pussy, her fur is so warm, and if I don't hurt her she'll do me no. Oh, my heavens! shouted Gerald Foster, bounding from his seat, and for the first time taking a share in the debate. Are we going to spend the whole day arguing about cats and paper knives? For goodness' sake, clear the stage, and stop wasting time. Miss Hobson chose to regard this intervention as an affront. Don't shout at me, Mr. Foster. I wasn't shouting at you. If you have anything to say to me, lower your voice. He can't, observed Miss Winch. He's a tenor. Nazimova never began Mr. Bunbury. Miss Hobson was not to be diverted from her theme by reminiscences of Nazimova. She had not finished dealing with Gerald. In the shows I've been in, she said, mordantly, the author wasn't allowed to go about the place getting fresh with the leading lady. In the shows I've been in, the author sat at the back and spoke when he was spoken to. In the shows I've been in— Sally was tingling all over. This reminded her of the dog fight on the Rovial Sands. She wanted to be in it, and only the recognition that it was a private fight, and that she would be intruding kept her silent. The lure of the fray, however, was too strong for her wholly to resist it. Almost unconsciously, she had risen from her place and drifted down the aisle, so as to be nearer the white-hot center of things. She was now standing in the lighted space by the orchestra pit, and her presence attracted the roving attention of Miss Hobson, who, having concluded her remarks on authors and their legitimate sphere of activity, was looking about for some other object of attack. Who the devil, inquired Miss Hobson, is that? Sally found herself an object of universal scrutiny, and wished that she had remained in the obscurity of the back rows. I am Mr. Nicholas's sister, was the best method of identification that she could find. Who's Mr. Nicholas? Fillmore timidly admitted that he was Mr. Nicholas. He did it in the manner of one in the dock pleading guilty to a major charge, and at least half of those present seemed surprised. To them, till now, Fillmore had been a nameless thing, answering to the shout of, Hi! Miss Hobson received the information with a laugh of such exceeding bitterness that strong men blanched, and Mr. Cracknell started so convulsively that he nearly jerked his collar off its stud. Now, sweetie, urged Mr. Cracknell. Miss Hobson said that Mr. Cracknell gave her a pain in the gizzard. She recommended his fading away, and he did so into his collar. He seemed to feel that once well inside his collar he was home and safe from attack. I'm through, announced Miss Hobson. It appeared that Sally's presence had in some mysterious fashion fulfilled the function of the last straw. This is the by-goddessed show I was ever in. I can stand for a whole lot, but when it comes to the assistant stage manager being allowed to fill the theatre with his sisters and his cousins and his aunts, it's time to quit. But, sweetie, pleaded Mr. Cracknell coming to the surface. Oh, go and choke yourself, said Miss Hobson crisply, and swinging round like a blue panther she strode off. A door banged, and the sound of it seemed to restore Mr. Cracknell's power of movement. He, too, shot upstage and disappeared. Hello, Sally, said Elsa Doeland, looking up from her magazine. The battle, raging all around her, had failed to disturb her detachment. When did you get back? Sally trotted up the steps which had been propped against the stage to form a bridge over the orchestra pit. Hello, Elsa. The late debaters had split into groups. Mr. Bunbury and Gerald were pacing up and down the central aisle, talking earnestly. Fillmore had subsided into a chair. Do you know Gladys Winch? asked Elsa. Sally shook hands with the placid lodestar of her brother's affections. Miss Winch, on closer inspection, proved to have deep gray eyes and freckles. Sally's liking for her increased. Thank you for saving Fillmore from the wolves, she said. They would have torn him in pieces, but for you. Oh, I don't know, said Miss Winch. It was noble. Oh, well. I think, said Sally, I'll go and have a talk with Fillmore. He looks as though he wanted consoling. She made her way to that picturesque ruin. Four. Fillmore had the air of a man who thought it wasn't loaded. A wild, startled expression had settled itself upon his face, and he was breathing heavily. Cheer up, said Sally. Fillmore jumped like a stricken jelly. Tell me all, said Sally, sitting down beside him. I leave you a gentleman of large and independent means, and I come back and find you one of the wage slaves again. How did it all happen? Sally, said Fillmore, I will be frank with you. Can you lend me ten dollars? I don't see how you make that out, an answer to my question, but here you are. Thanks. Fillmore pocketed the bill. I'll let you have it back next week. I want to take Miss Winch out to lunch. If that's what you want it for, don't look on it as alone. Take it as a gift with my blessing thrown in. She looked over her shoulder at Miss Winch, who, the cares of rehearsal being temporarily suspended, was practicing golf shots with an umbrella at the other side of the stage. However, did you have the sense to fall in love with her, Fill? Do you like her? asked Fillmore, brightening. I love her. I knew you would. She's just the right girl for me, isn't she? She certainly is. So sympathetic. Yes. So kind. Yes, and she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need. Fillmore drew himself up, with as much auteur as a stout man sitting in the low chair can achieve. Someday I will make you believe in me, Sally. Less of the merchant prince, my lad, said Sally firmly. You just confine yourself to explaining how you got this way, instead of taking up my valuable time telling me what you mean to do in the future. You've lost all your money. I have suffered certain reverses, said Fillmore with dignity, which have left me temporarily—yes, every bean, he concluded simply. How? Well— Fillmore hesitated. I've had bad luck, you know. First I bought consolidated rails for the rise, and they fell, so that went wrong. Yes. And then I bought Russian rubles for the fall, and they rose, so that went wrong. Good gracious, why I've heard all this before. Who told you? No, I remember now. It's just that you remind me of a man I met at Rovile. He was telling me the story of his life, and how he had made a hash of everything. Well, that took all you had, I suppose. Not quite. I had a few thousand left, and I went into a deal that really did look cast iron. And that went wrong? It wasn't my fault, said Fillmore, quirelessly. It was just my poisonous luck. A man I knew got me to join a syndicate which had bought up a lot of whiskey. The idea was to ship it into Chicago in herring barrels. We should have cleaned up big. Only a mutt of a detective took it into his darned head to go fooling about with a crowbar. A vicious ass. It wasn't as if the barrels weren't labeled herrings as plainly as they could be, said Fillmore, with honest indignation. He shuddered. I nearly got arrested. But that went wrong? Well, that's something to be thankful for. Stripes wouldn't suit your figure. Sally gave his arm a squeeze. She was very fond of Fillmore, though for the good of his soul she generally concealed her affection beneath a manner which she had once compared, not without some reason, to that of a governess who had afflicted their mutual childhood. Never mind, you poor, ill-used martyr, things are sure to come right. We shall see you a millionaire some day, and, O Heaven's brother, Fillmore, what a bore you'll be when you are. I can just see you being interviewed and giving hints to young men on how to make good. Mr. Nicholas attributes his success to sheer hard work. He can lay his hand on his bulging waistcoat and say that he has never once indulged in those rash, get-rich-quick speculations where you buy for the rise and watch things fall, and then rush out and buy for the fall and watch them rise. Fill, I'll tell you what I'll do. They all say it's the first bit of money that counts in building a vast fortune. I'll lend you some of mine. You will, Sally, I always said you were an ace. I never heard you. You oughtn't to mumble so. Will you lend me twenty thousand dollars? Sally patted his hand soothingly. Come slowly down to earth, she said. Two hundred was the sum I had in mind. I want twenty thousand. You'd better rob a bank. Any policeman will direct you to a good bank. I'll tell you why I want twenty thousand. You might just mention it. If I had twenty thousand, I'd buy this production from Cracknell. He'll be back in a few minutes to tell us that the Hobbeson woman has quit, and if she really has, you take it from me that he will close the show. And even if he manages to jolly her along this time, and she comes back, it's going to happen sooner or later. It's a shame to let a show like this close. I believe in it, Sally. It's a darn good play. With Elsa Doeland in the big part, it couldn't fail. Sally started. Her money was too recent for her to have grown fully accustomed to it, and she had never realized that she was in a position to wave a wand and make things happen on any big scale. The financing of a theatrical production had always been to her something mysterious and out of the reach of ordinary persons like herself. Fillmore, that spacious thinker, had brought it into the sphere of the possible. He'd sell for less than that, of course, but one would need a bit in hand. You have to face a loss on the road before coming into New York. I'd give you ten percent on your money, Sally. Sally found herself wavering. The prudent side of her nature, which hitherto had steered her safely through most of life's rapids, seemed oddly dormant. Subconsciously she was aware that on past performances Fillmore was decidedly not the man to be allowed control of anybody's little fortune, but somehow the thought did not seem to grip her. He had touched her imagination. It's a gold mine! Sally's prudent side stirred in its sleep. Fillmore had chosen an unfortunate expression. To the novice in finance the word gold mine had repellent associations. If there was one thing in which Sally had proposed not to invest her legacy, it was a gold mine. What she had had in view, as a matter of fact, had been one of those little fancy shops which are called Yee Blue Bird or Yee Corner Shop, or something like that, where you sell exotic bric-a-brack to the wealthy at extortionate prices. She knew two girls who were doing splendidly in that line. As Fillmore spoke those words, Yee Corner Shop suddenly looked very good to her. At this moment, however, two things happened. Gerald and Mr. Bunbury, in the course of their perambulations, came into the glow of the footlights, and she was able to see Gerald's face, and at the same time Mr. Reginald Cracknell hurried on to the stage his whole demeanor that of the bearer of evil tidings. The sight of Gerald's face annihilated Sally's prudence at a single stroke. Yee Corner Shop, which a moment before had been shining brightly before her mental eye, flickered and melted out. The whole issue became clear and simple. Gerald was miserable, and she had it in her power to make him happy. He was sullenly awaiting disaster, and she, with a word, could avert it. She wondered that she had ever hesitated. All right, she said simply. Fillmore quivered from head to foot. A powerful electric shock could not have produced a stronger convulsion. He knew Sally of old as cautious and clear-headed, by no means to be stampeded by a brother's eloquence, and he had never looked on this thing as anything better than a hundred to one shot. You'll do it, he whispered, and held his breath. After all, he might not have heard correctly. Yes. All the complex emotion in Fillmore's soul found expression in one vast hoop. It rang through the empty theatre like the last trump, beating against the back wall, and rising in hollow echoes to the very gallery. Mr. Bunbury, conversing in low undertones with Mr. Krakenal across the footlights, shied like a startled mule. There was reproach and menace in the look he cast at Fillmore, and a minute earlier it would have reduced that financial magnate to apologetic pulp. But Fillmore was not to be intimidated now by a look. He strode down to the group at the footlights. Krakenal, he said importantly, one moment, I should like a word with you. End of Chapter 6. Recorded on August 17, 2008 in San Diego, California. Chapter 7 of The Adventures of Sally. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Adventures of Sally by P. G. Woodhouse. Chapter 7. Some Meditations on Success If actors and actresses are like children in that they are readily depressed by disaster, they have the child's compensating gift of being easily uplifted by good fortune. It amazed Sally that any one mortal should have been able to spread such universal happiness as she had done by the simple act of lending her brother Fillmore twenty thousand dollars. If the millennium had arrived, the members of the Primrose Way Company could not have been on better terms with themselves. The lethargy and dispiritedness caused by their weak of inaction fell from them like a cloak. The sudden elevation of that creature of the abyss, the assistant stage manager, to the dizzy height of proprietor of the show appealed to their sense of drama. Most of them had played in pieces where much the same thing had happened to the persecuted heroine round about eleven o'clock, and the situation struck them as theatrically sound. Also, now that she had gone, the extent to which Miss Hobson had acted as a blight was universally recognized. A spirit of optimism reigned and cheerful rumours became current. The bowler had had Teddy had it straight from the lift-boy at his hotel that the ban on the theatres was to be lifted on Tuesday at the latest, while no less an authority than the cigar-stand girl at the poncha-train had informed the man who played the butler that Toledo and Cleveland were opening to-morrow. It was generally felt that the sun was bursting through the clouds and that fate would soon despair of the hopeless task of trying to keep good men down. Fillmore was himself again. We all have our particular mode of self-expression in moments of elation. Fillmore has took the shape of buying a new waistcoat and a hundred half-dollar cigars and being very fussy about what he had for lunch. It may have been an optical illusion, but he appeared to Sally to put on at least six pounds in weight on the first day of the new regime. As a surf looking after paper knives and other properties, he had been, for him, almost slim. As a manager, he blossomed out into soft, billowy curves, and when he stood on the sidewalk in front of the theatre, gloating over the new posters, which bore the legend, Fillmore Nicholas presents, the populace had to make a detour to get round him. In this era of bubbling joy it was hard that Sally, the fairy godmother responsible for it all, should not have been completely happy, too, and it puzzled her why she was not. But whatever it was that cast the faint shadow refused obstinately to come out from the back of her mind and show itself and be challenged. It was not till she was out driving in a hired car with Gerald one afternoon on Belle Isle that enlightenment came. Gerald, since the departure of Miss Hobson, had been at his best. Like Fillmore he was a man who responded to the sunshine of prosperity. His moodiness had vanished and all his old charm had returned. And yet it seemed to Sally, as the car slid smoothly through the pleasant woods and fields by the river, that there was something that jarred. Gerald was cheerful and talkative. He, at any rate, found nothing wrong with life. He held forth spaciously on the big things he intended to do. If this play gets over, and it's going to, I'll show him. His jaw was squared, and his eyes glowed as they stared into the inviting future. One success, that's all I need, then watch me. I haven't had a chance yet, but— His voice rolled on, but Sally had ceased to listen. It was the time of year when the chill of evening followed swiftly on the mellow warmth of afternoon. The sun had gone behind the trees, and a cold wind was blowing up from the river. And quite suddenly, as though it was the wind that had cleared her mind, she understood what it was that had been lurking at the back of her thoughts. For an instant it stood out nakedly without concealment, and the world became a forlorn place. She had realized the fundamental difference between man's outlook on life and woman's. Success! How men worshipped it, and how little of themselves they had to spare for anything else. Ironically it was the theme of this very play of Gerald's which she had saved from destruction. Of all the men she knew, how many had any view of life except as a race which they must strain every nerve to win regardless of what they missed by the wayside in their haste. Fillmore, Gerald, all of them. There might be a woman in each of their lives, but she came second, an afterthought, a thing for their spare time. Gerald was everything to her. His success would never be more than a side issue as far as she was concerned. He himself, without any of the trappings of success, was enough for her. But she was not enough for him. A spasm of futile jealousy shook her. She shivered. Cold, said Gerald. I'll tell the man to drive back. I don't see any reason why this play shouldn't run a year in New York. Everybody says it's good. If it does get over, they'll all be after me. I— Sally stared out into a bleak world. The sky was leaden gray, and the wind from the river blew with a dismal chill. The Adventures of Sally by P. G. Woodhouse 1 When Sally left Detroit on the following Saturday, accompanied by Fillmore, who was returning to the Metropolis for a few days in order to secure offices and generally make his presence felt along Broadway, her spirits had completely recovered. She felt guiltily that she had been fanciful, even morbid. Naturally men wanted to get on in the world. It was their job. She told herself that she was bound up with Gerald's success, and that the last thing of which she ought to complain was the energy he put into efforts of which she, as well as he, would reap the reward. To this happier frame of mind the excitement of the last few days had contributed. Detroit, that city of amiable audiences, had liked the primrose way. The theatre, in fulfilment of Teddy's prophecy, had been allowed to open on the Tuesday, and a full house, hungry for entertainment after its enforced abstinence, had welcomed the play wholeheartedly. The papers, not always in agreement with the applause of a first night audience, had on this occasion endorsed the verdict, with agreeable unanimity hailing Gerald as the coming author, and Elsa Doeland as the coming star. There had even been a brief mention of Fillmore as the coming manager. But there is always some trifle that jars in our greatest moments, and Fillmore's triumph had almost been spoiled by the fact that the only notice taken of Gladys Winch was by the critic who printed her name, spelled Wunch, in the list of those whom the cast also included. One of the greatest character actresses on the stage, said Fillmore bitterly, talking over this outrage with Sally on the morning after the production. From this blow, however, his buoyant nature had soon enabled him to rally. Life contained so much that was bright that it would have been churlish to concentrate the attention on the one dark spot. Business had been excellent all through the week. Elsa Doeland had got better at every performance. The receipt of a long and agitated telegram from Mr. Cracknell, pleading to be allowed to buy the piece back, the passage of time having apparently softened Miss Hobson, was a pleasant incident. And, best of all, the great Ike Schumann, who owned half the theatres in New York, and had been in Detroit superintending one of his musical productions, had looked in one evening and stamped The Primrose Way with the seal of his approval. As Fillmore sat opposite Sally on the train, he radiated contentment and importance. Yes, do, said Sally, breaking a long silence. Fillmore awoke from happy dreams. Eh? I said, yes, do. I think you owe it to your position. Do what? Biofer coat, wasn't that what you were meditating about? Don't be a chump, said Fillmore, blushing nevertheless. It was true that, once or twice during the past week, he had toyed negligently, as Mr. Bunbury would have said, with the notion, and why not, a fellow must keep warm. With an astrakhan collar, insisted Sally. As a matter of fact, said Fillmore loftily, his great soul ill-attuned to this badanage, what I was really thinking about at the moment was something Ike said. Ike? Ike Shuman. He's on the train. I met him just now. We call him Ike? Of course I call him Ike, said Fillmore, heatedly. Everyone calls him Ike. He wears a fur coat, Sally murmured. Fillmore registered annoyance. I wish you wouldn't keep on harping on that damned coat, and anyway, why shouldn't I have a fur coat? Fill, how can you be so brutal, as to suggest, that I ever said you shouldn't? Why, I'm one of the strongest supporters of the fur coat, with big cuffs, and you must roll up Fifth Avenue in your car, and out-point, and say, That's my brother. Your brother? No. He is, really. You're joking. Why, that's the great Fillmore Nicholas. I know, but he really is my brother, and I was with him when he bought that coat. Do leave off about the coat? And it isn't only the coat, I shall say. It's what's underneath. Tucked away inside that mass of fur, dodging about behind that dollar cigar, is one to whom we point with pride. Fillmore looked coldly at his watch. I've got to go and see Ike Shuman. We are in hourly consultation with Ike. He wants to see me about the show. He suggests putting it into Chicago before opening in New York. Oh, no! cried Sally, dismayed. Why not? Sally recovered herself. Identifying Gerald so closely with his play, she had supposed for a moment that if the piece opened in Chicago, it would mean a further prolonged separation from him. But, of course, there would be no need, she realized. Of course, there would be no need, she realized, for him to stay with the company, after the first day or two. You're thinking that we ought to have a New York reputation before tackling Chicago. There's a lot to be said for that. Still, it works both ways. A Chicago run would help us in New York. Well, I'll have to think it over, said Fillmore importantly. I'll have to think it over. He mused, withdrawn brows. All wrong, said Sally. Eh? Not a bit like it. The lips should be compressed, and the forefinger of the right hand laid in a caroworn way against the right temple. You've a lot to learn, Fill. Oh, stop it. Fillmore Nicholas, said Sally, if you knew what pain it gives me to Josh, my only brother, you'd be sorry for me. But you know it's for your good. Now run along and put Ike out of his misery. I know he's waiting for you with his watch out. You do think he'll come, Miss Nicholas? Were his last words to me as he stepped on the train, and oh, Fill, the yearning in his voice. Why, of course he will, Mr. Shuman, I said. For all his exalted position, my brother is kindliness itself. Of course he'll come. If I could only think so, he said, with a gulp. If I could only think so. But you know what these managers are, a thousand calls on their time, they get brooding on their fur coats and forget everything else. Have no fear, Mr. Shuman, I said. Fillmore Nicholas is a man of his word. She would have been willing, for she was a girl who never believed in sparing herself, where it was a question of entertaining her nearest and dearest, to continue the dialogue, but Fillmore was already moving down the car, his rigid back a silent protest against sisterly levity. Sally watched him disappear, then picked up a magazine, and began to read. She had just finished tracking a story of gripping interest, through a jungle of advertisements, only to find that it was in two parts of which the one she was reading was the first, when a voice spoke. How do you do, Miss Nicholas? Into the seat before her, recently released from the weight of the coming manager, Bruce Carmile, of all people in the world, insinuated himself with that well-bred air of differential restraint, which never left him. Two. Sally was considerably startled. Everybody travels nowadays, of course, and there is nothing really remarkable in finding a man in America whom you had supposed to be in Europe, but nevertheless she was conscious of a dream-like sensation, as though the clock had been turned back and a chapter of her life reopened. Which she had thought closed forever. Mr. Carmile, she cried. If Sally had been constantly in Bruce Carmile's thoughts, since they had parted on the Paris Express, Mr. Carmile had been very little in Sally's, so little indeed that she had had to search her memory for a moment before she identified him. We're always meeting on trains, aren't we? She went on, her composure returning. I never expected to see you in America. I came over. Sally was tempted to reply that she gathered that, but a sudden embarrassment curbed her tongue. She had just remembered that at their last meeting she had been abominably rude to this man. She was never rude to anyone without subsequent remorse. She contented herself with a tame, yes. Yes, said Mr. Carmile. It is a good many years, since I have taken a real holiday. My doctor seemed to think I was a trifle run-down. It seemed a good opportunity to visit America. Everybody, said Mr. Carmile or racularily, endeavoring, as he had often done since his ship had left England, to persuade himself that his object in making the trip had not been merely to renew his acquaintance with Sally. Everybody ought to visit America at least once. It is part of one's education. And what are your impressions of our glorious country? said Sally, rallying. Mr. Carmile seemed glad of the opportunity of lecturing on an impersonal subject. He, too, though his face had shown no trace of it, had been embarrassed in the opening stages of the conversation. The sound of his voice restored him. I have been visiting Chicago, he said, after a brief travelogue. Oh! a wonderful city. I've never seen it. I've come from Detroit. Yes, I heard you were in Detroit. Sally's eyes opened. You heard I was in Detroit? Good gracious, how? I, uh, called at your New York address and made inquiries, said Mr. Carmile a little awkwardly. But how did you know where I lived? My cousin, or Lancelot, told me. Sally was silent for a moment. She had much the same feeling that comes to the man in the detective story who realizes that he is being shadowed. Even if this almost complete stranger had not actually come to America in direct pursuit of her, there was no disguising the fact that he evidently found her an object of considerable interest. It was a compliment, but Sally was not at all sure that she liked it. Bruce Carmile meant nothing to her, and it was rather disturbing to find that she was apparently of great importance to him. She seized on the mention of ginger as a lever for diverting the conversation from its present to intimate course. How is Mr. Kemp? she asked. Mr. Carmile's dark face seemed to become a trifle darker. We have had no news of him, he said shortly. No news? How do you mean? You speak as though he had disappeared. He has disappeared. Good heavens! When? Shortly after I saw you last. Disappeared. Mr. Carmile frowned. Sally, watching him, found her antipathy stirring again. There was something about this man which she had disliked instinctively from the first, a sort of hardness. But where has he gone to? I don't know. Mr. Carmile frowned again. The subject of ginger was plainly a sore one. And I don't want to know. He went on heatedly, a dull flush rising in the cheeks which Sally was sure he had to shave twice a day. I don't care to know. The family have washed their hands of him. For the future he may look after himself as best he can. I believe he is off his head. Sally's rebellious temper was well ablaze now, but she fought it down. She would dearly have loved to give battle to Mr. Carmile. It was odd, she felt, how she seemed to have constituted herself ginger's champion and protector. But she perceived that, if she wished, as she did, to hear more of her red-headed friend, he must be humoured and conciliated. But what happened? What was all the trouble about? Mr. Carmile's eyebrows met. He insulted his uncle, his uncle Donald. He insulted him grossly. The one man in the world he should have made a point of—er—keeping in with? Yes, his future depended upon him. But what did he do? cried Sally, trying hard to keep a thoroughly reprehensible joy out of her voice. I have heard no details. My uncle is reticent as to what actually took place. He invited Lancelot to dinner to discuss his plans, and it appears that Lancelot defied him. Defied him! He was rude and insulting. My uncle refuses to have anything more to do with him. Apparently the young fool managed to win some money at the tables in Rovile, and this seems to have turned his head completely. My uncle insists that he is mad. I agree with him. Since the night of that dinner nothing has been heard of Lancelot. Mr. Carmile broke off to brood once more, and before Sally could speak, the impressive bulk of Fillmore loomed up in the aisle beside them. Explanations seemed to Fillmore to be in order. He cast a questioning glance at the mysterious stranger who, in addition to being in conversation with his sister, had collared his seat. Oh, hello, Fill, said Sally. Fillmore, this is Mr. Carmile. We met abroad. My brother Fillmore, Mr. Carmile. Proper introduction, having been thus affected, Fillmore approved of Mr. Carmile. His air of being someone in particular appealed to him. Strange, you meeting again like this, he said affably. The porter, who had been making up births along the car, was now hovering expectantly in the offing. You two had better go into the smoking-room, suggested Sally. I'm going to bed. She wanted to be alone, to think. Mr. Carmile's tale of a roused and revolting ginger had stirred her. The two men went off to the smoking-room, and Sally found an empty seat, and sat down to wait for her birth to be made up. She was aglow with a curious exhilaration. So ginger had taken her advice. Excellent ginger! She felt proud of him. She also had that feeling of complacency, amounting almost to sinful pride, which comes to those who give advice and find it acted upon. She had the emotions of a creator. After all, had she not created this new ginger? It was she who had stirred him up. It was she who had unleashed him. She had changed him from a meek dependent of the family to a ravening creature who went about the place insulting uncles. It was a feat. There was no denying it. It was something attempted, something done, and by all the rules laid down by the poet it should, therefore, have earned a night's repose. Yet Sally, jolted by the train, which towards the small hours seemed to be trying out some new buck-and-wing steps of its own invention, slept ill, and presently, as she lay awake, there came to her bedside the specter of doubt, gaunt, and questioning. Had she, after all, wrought so well, had she been wise in tampering with this young man's life? What about it? said the specter of doubt. 3. Daylight brought no comforting answer to the question. Breakfast failed to manufacture an easy mind. Sally got off the train at the Grand Central Station in a state of remorseful concern. She declined the offer of Mr. Carmile to drive her to the boarding-house and started to walk there, hoping that the crisp morning air would affect a cure. She wondered now how she could ever have looked with approval on her rash act. She wondered what demon of interference and meddling had possessed her to make her blunder into people's lives, upsetting them. She wondered that she was allowed to go around loose. She was nothing more nor less than a menace to society. Here was an estimable young man—obviously the sort of young man who would always have to be assisted through life by his relatives—and she had deliberately egged him on to wreck his prospects. She blushed hotly, as she remembered that mad wireless she had sent him from the boat. Miserable Ginger. She pictured him, his little stock of money gone, wandering foot-sore about London, seeking in vain for work, forcing himself to call on Uncle Donald, being thrown down the front steps by haughty footmen, sleeping on the embankment, gazing into the dark waters of the Thames with the stare of hopelessness, climbing to the parapet and— Ugg, said Sally. She had arrived at the door of the boarding-house and Mrs. Meacher was regarding her with welcoming eyes, little knowing that to all practical intents and purposes she had slain in his prime a red-headed young man of amiable manners and, when not ill-advised, by meddling muddling females, of excellent behaviour. Mrs. Meacher was friendly and garrulous. Variety—the journal which, next to the dog Toto, was the thing she loved best in the world—had informed her on the Friday morning that Mr. Foster's play had got over big in Detroit and that Miss. Dolan had made every kind of hit. It was not often that the old alumni of the boarding-house forced their way after this fashion into the Hall of Fame, and, according to Mrs. Meacher, the establishment was ringing with the news. That blue ribbon-round Toto's neck was worn in honour of the triumph. There was also, though you could not see it, a chicken dinner in Toto's interior by way of further celebration. And was it true that Mr. Fillmore had bought the piece? A great man was Mrs. Meacher's verdict. Mr. Fawcett had always said so. Oh, how is Mr. Fawcett? Sally asked, reproaching herself for having allowed the pressure of other matters to drive all thoughts of her late patient from her mind. He's gone, said Mrs. Meacher, with such relish that to Sally, in her morbid condition, the words had only one meaning. She turned white and clutched at the banisters. Gone? To England, added Mrs. Meacher. Sally was vastly relieved. Oh, I thought you meant— Oh, no, not that, Mrs. Meacher sighed, for she had been a little disappointed in the old gentleman who started out as such a promising invalid only to fall away into the dullness of robust health once more. He's well enough I never seen anybody better. You'd think, said Mrs. Meacher, bearing up with difficulty under her grievance. You'd think this here news Spanish influenza was a sort of tonic or something, the way he looks now. Of course, she added, trying to find justification for a respected lodger. He's had good news, his brother's dead. What? Not, I don't mean that that was good news, far from it, though. Come to think of it, all flesh is as grass, and we all got to be prepared for something of the sort break and loose. But it seems this here new brother of his—I didn't know he'd a brother, and I don't suppose you knew he had a brother. Men are a secretive, aren't they? This brother of his has left him a parcel of money, and Mr. Fawcett he had to get on the Wednesday boat quick as he could and go right over to the other side to look after things. Wind up the estate, I believe they call it, left in an awful hurry, he did, sent his love to you and said he'd write. Funny him having a brother now, wasn't it? Not, said Mrs. Meacher, at heart a reasonable woman. That folks don't have brothers, I got to myself, one in Portland, Oregon, and the other goodness knows where he is, but what I'm trying to say—Sally disengaged herself and went up to her room. For a brief while, the excitement which comes of hearing good news about those of whom we are fond, acted as a stimulant, and she felt almost cheerful. Dear old Mr. Fawcett, she was sorry for his brother, of course, though she had never had the pleasure of his acquaintance, and had only just heard that he had ever existed, but it was nice to think that her old friend's remaining years would be years of affluence. Presently, however, she found her thoughts wandering back into their melancholy groove. She threw herself wearily on the bed. She was tired after her bad night. But she could not sleep. Remorse kept her awake. Besides, she could hear Mrs. Meacher prowling disturbingly about the house. Apparently in search of someone, her progress indicated by creaking boards, and the strenuous yapping of Toto. Sally turned restlessly, and, having turned, remained for a long instant, transfixed, and rigid. She had seen something, and what she had seen was enough to surprise any girl in the privacy of her bedroom. From underneath the bed there peeped coyly forth an undeniably masculine shoe and six inches of a gray trouser leg. Sally bounded to the floor. She was a girl of courage, and she meant to probe this matter thoroughly. What are you doing under my bed? The question was a reasonable one, and evidently seemed to the intruder to deserve an answer. There was a muffled sneeze, and he began to crawl out. The shoe came first, then the legs, then a sturdy body in a dusty coat, and finally there flashed on Sally's fascinated gaze, ahead of so nearly the maximum redness that it could only belong to one person in the world. Mr. Lancelot Kemp, on all fours, blinked up at her. Oh, hello, he said. End of Chapter 8, read on August 22nd, 2008, in San Diego, California.