 ThinkTech Hawaii, civil engagement lives here. Aloha, and welcome to Out and About on the ThinkTech streaming live and network series. I'm your host, Winston Welch, and delighted you're joining us today, where each—well, every other week, we explore a variety of topics, organizations, events, and the people who fuel them in our city, state, country, and world. As a disclaimer, any views or opinions expressed by me are strictly my own and not connected with any organization. And I would also like to say this week is a week we celebrate Thanksgiving in the U.S., so as you're watching the show or maybe afterwards, take a moment and write down all the things that you're thankful for in this life. It's easy to grouse about a lot of stuff, but we have so many great things to think about. You know, start with thinking, sleeping with a great pillow under your head if you got that and work your way out from there. So just a reminder to be grateful and an attitude of gratitude is a way to go. Joining me today in the studio, I am very grateful to have Amber Larson, a transgender activist and fellow human being on the journey to talk about issues that transgender people face and how we can help better understand those issues and that journey and support it along the way. So with that, I'd like to welcome Amber to the show today. So thank you so much for coming in. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. So we met at the Pride Parade, I believe, didn't we? The UH Pride event is where we met. The UH Pride event. That's right. Oh, yeah. And you were with? I was with Church of the Crossroads. And Church of the Crossroads. Right. Okay. So I'm assuming Church of the Crossroads is a welcoming, open and affirming. Open and affirming at Peace Church, yes. Opening and affirming at Peace Church, and that's the church that's sort of a round church at university in the freeway? Yes. Okay. And so what does that mean that a church is open and affirming or welcoming? What's the official? Well, open, affirming, welcoming, yeah. We just, I mean, we don't judge for anybody with anything. I mean, you know, you're there to get the grace of God or hear the word or whatever you're there for, you know, come on in. It doesn't matter who you are, what you believe, you know, just come on in and hear what we have to say. We're very, very welcoming in the fact that the members there will, you know, they greet you with love in their arms and eyes, you know. When I first joined the church, well, actually when I first went to the church, I was very apprehensive and I ended up joining the church like two weeks later as a member because it just, I just felt so apart of. Yeah. They're just like doing what we should all do, which is embracing our fellow humans on the journey. Exactly. And with the spirit of aloha. Exactly. So thank you for coming in and talking about your story and maybe sharing this with other people and letting them know. It is part of a journey of life and we're all on a journey of life and some of us take journeys that seem harder and others seem easier, but it's all part of a journey that I think we can all respect and learn from each other. So tell us about your journey and how, what is transgender for you and how did this transition take place for you in your life? Well, I mean for me, it started many years ago when I was maybe five or six years old and I just kind of came to realize that what I felt inside didn't match what was outside. And this was during the 60s and 70s, which was quite a trying time back then because I mean the word transgender wasn't even around. Fast forward, you know, through my life and dealing with all the emotions and things that were going through my head. You know, I just came to the realization that, you know, it was time for me to be me. I didn't want to live under what society said I was supposed to be or who I was supposed to be. And I mean, I guess that's just, you know, getting older and understanding what you want out of your life. Yeah, and that's a nice thing about being a little bit older is that you can say, yeah, this is maybe not whatever path I've been supposed to have been on is actually not the path for me and I need to do what is true for me. So was there some specific event or some point where you just said, no, it was something that pushed you over the decision. My last relationship had ended badly and I was just, and before actually, before I started that last relationship, I was actually considering transitioning then, but I decided to hold off because this came about and okay, so we made this thing work for about five and a half years and it just ended really bad. So I says, you know what, I'm at a point in my life where I got to do something now, you know? I can't wait any longer to try something over again. And how long ago was that? I have been out for almost four years, full-time, living full-time as Amber. Okay, and so living as Amber and how does it feel to embrace your Amber-ness and all that that means? You know, minus all the anxiety and emotions that were flowing through me with what could happen or what people could say, you know, I just, I love life a lot more. I am comfortable in my own skin today, you know? I'm able to, you know, what happened was I was out with a girlfriend and we were doing some shopping and I just came out of the store and I felt this sense of release, all my inhibitions to what people thought or people were going to say didn't matter anymore. And I says, this is it. This is where I move forward. Because it just took probably an enormous amount of energy to suppress and to hold back and to deny, you know, who you truly were. Oh, yeah. And then when you released that, you have the fear there too, but it was easier. One thing became easier than the other. Right. So you're now out and I want to make sure that while we're talking early on that we get out your Facebook page, what is your Facebook page so people can go there for resources or to contact you just for a kind of year? Well, I've had, I started a blog and it's just transgender information. And I just kind of write about what the feelings that I'm having or have had in the past and what people that are looking for information can do and where they need to go to help them achieve their journey more, you know, but kind of dealing with life, you know, and it rages from what I've gone through to what the political stance is today. And it's just a way to get information out there to to help educate the public as well as to help people that are transitioning or even anybody in the LGBTQ community that is kind of going through this thing. And so it's called transgender issues, but where would... Transgender information. Transgender information, where would one go to find that? Is it if they Google Amber Larson transgender information or is it a Facebook page? It is a Facebook page. I haven't written down on that page. Okay, yeah, I don't have the address. Oh, we got it here. It's Amber, Z as in zebra, 726897. Right. Okay, so probably, but if they go to Facebook and put an Amber. Yeah, there's a Facebook address there too. You just type right in and it will go directly to the page. Actually, you can put it on any browser. Yeah. And it'll go straight there. Transgender information. Amber transgender. Facebook, yeah. And then it'll show up, yeah, just like every Google. And it has my picture there, so I mean it's easily identified. There's other there's other blogs on there with transgender information, but not at the top of the list. Okay, you're at the top of the list. So you're ranked number one at Google. Easy enough. So did you do all the transitioning here in Hawaii? I did. I did. And is how is it legally transitioning? Was it difficult in Hawaii or was it easy? Actually, to transition here in Hawaii was relatively easy. They're more of a liberal state, so it was easier to get with a therapist and get the documentation of letters and stuff to to change my gender identity and stuff on my driver's license and also on my passport. Unfortunately, I was born in the state of Wisconsin and they're a little bit more scrutinizing when trying to change your birth certificate. But here in Hawaii, it could all be done all at once before you even have the surgery or anything. And no need for surgery. Right. Yeah, because I think I've seen that some states now are moving towards or and localities are moving towards neither male nor female, which is completely different as well. Correct. And so we're looking at this gender spectrum and especially with young people, where they may not be identifying with either gender, which is also interesting and sort of something new. Whereas you talked about we didn't have the idea really deeply of transgender in the 50s and 60s. There were a few examples like Renee, was it Renee Richards or but that was like early 70s or that in Denmark, who was that in Denmark in the 50s. But it was extremely rare and we didn't really, it wasn't in the consciousness like it is today. Exactly. Where it's front and center. Our president is, you know, going from he's going to be the most pro LGBTQ president ever to how many things has he done against the community, you know, saying you can't serve in the military, which the military said, well, we're going to think about that one because actually we value transgender people just as much as we value everybody else because they bring something to the table just like everyone else. Exactly. So you're bringing your full humanity to who you are and what you do. How was it at work when you transitioned or did you change work or how was it? No, I actually, I met with my board of directors and spoke with them and let them know. And they were very open and said, just kind of, you know, take it at your pace. And I just one day and boom, here I am. This is Amber. I had dotted my eyes across my teeth before all that, you know, got the name change, got the gender change information. So, you know, for payroll and record keeping purposes. So, but it went really well. It went really well. It surprised me how well it went actually. And what support did you find along the way to help you with this? You mentioned that there's therapists involved. What is the role of therapists? What is the role of doctors and all of this? Is it necessary? Is it required? Is it necessary? Do you recommend it all of the above? Oh, yes, most definitely. I mean, the first thing you want to do is reach out to your primary care physician and speak with them. And depending on what type of HMO you have or something like that, there's actually some that have doctors or clinics within themselves that deal with transgender people and have more knowledge of it, especially in today's world. And so that's what I did and started on the regimen of the hormones and that sort of thing. But to actually get into it, you do have to see a therapist. You do have to talk with them because there are a lot of emotions. It's an emotional roller coaster to just transition or even to live the life. So, you need to be taking hormones and living externally as the gender you're transitioning into for, is it a year? Or you can have any gender confirmation surgery? They do ask for a minimum of one year and then they take it from there. The process to get the gender reassignment surgery is a lengthy one. It takes time. You have to go through and get prerequisites done for school. There's electrolysis that need to be done. There's preliminary doctor's appointments so to make sure that you're medically... That your heart's okay. Yeah, everything's okay for that. Consultations that you have to go with and then they give you a date that says, okay, this is when if everything checks out, you'll have the surgery then. And I think it's important to note that not all people who transition choose to do any surgeries at all. Oh yes, it's an individual thing. They may say, I'm satisfied with the outside and the way that I'm presenting however that is and that's good enough for me. Yes, definitely. And we have to respect each person's decision on that and how they go about that. And I think that's something that maybe people don't always understand, gender identity versus sexual orientation. And what's your take on gender identity versus sexual orientation if you were to make it quick and easy for people? Well, it is two separate issues. Your gender identity is what's in your mind, what you relate as, who you feel you are. Your sexual orientation, that's what you like to do in the bedroom and with whom. So it's really not that complicated though a lot of people get it wrong. A lot of people confuse those two issues. Yes. So gender identity is maybe who you go to bed as and sexual orientation or is what you do maybe in bed or something along those lines. But I think these days is kind of a free-for-all anyway. But it's mostly I think what the point about are you want to make especially as a gender identity is who you feel on the inside of and in this case like I said we've got young people that are agendered or non-gendered or in the gender spectrum but your gender that you've chosen and you've decided and said I'm a woman and that's it. And you felt this since you were five years old? I did, yes. Okay and when we get back from our break I want to explore that how your parents dealt with that and or not dealt with that and maybe your siblings or friends along the way and then what's happened since then and we'll go and continue this conversation after we get back from a break. That's great. It is my great pleasure to be talking with Amber Larson a transgender advocate and person on the journey and sharing her personal story with us about becoming transgendered in this modern world. So I'm Winston Welch. This is out and about on Think Tech Live Streaming Network Series where you are always going to be learning a lot of interesting stuff with great people. We'll be back in a minute so stay tuned for more of the story. Hey, loha. My name is Andrew Lanning. I'm the host of Security Matters Hawaii airing every Wednesday here on Think Tech Hawaii live from the studios. I'll bring you guests. I'll bring you information about the things in security that matter to keeping you safe, your co-workers safe, your family safe, to keep our community safe. We want to teach you about those things in our industry that may be a little outside of your experience so please join me because security matters. Aloha. And Aloha. My name is Calvin Griffin, the host of Hawaiian Uniform and every Friday at 11 o'clock here on Think Tech Hawaii we bring you the latest in what's happening within the military community and we also invite all your response to things that's happening here. For those of you who haven't seen the program before again we invite your participation. We're here to give information not disinformation and we always enjoy response from the public. But join us here, Hawaiian Uniform, Friday's 11 a.m. here on Think Tech Hawaii. Aloha. We're back. We're live. I'm Winston Welton. This is out and about on the Think Tech live streaming network series talking with Amber Larson on transgender issues and her journey. Thank you again for being here Amber. Appreciate it very much. So we were talking just before the break about that you'd always felt like this as a kid or maybe sometime around five or six. Yeah you know and I can say it just I became aware of these feelings and what was there inside me wasn't matching what was outside me. I didn't know why I was feeling the way I was feeling and all that and I didn't have the support to ask the questions either. So it was a very much an internal struggle. And how did that manifest itself? Did you tell your parents I'm a girl. I'm not a boy or was it more physical like they're wanting to play with dolls or clothing? Well I'd like to I'd like to lean towards playing with the girls more and do the play house and play dolls and that sort of thing. And you know my parents were like no you don't do that. You know the girls back then they didn't want to play with boys. So it was like you know they would shoot me away and just leave the girls alone. I had a couple of sisters and you know I get caught periodically with some of their clothing instead of asking me why I had their clothing my parents would just say give it back. That was it. That was it. They didn't want to know. They put their head in the sand over it you know so to speak. And so I really never felt the connection to be able to tell them until I was way much older. And how did they take it when you did tell them? Well my father had already passed by the time I came out and I told my mother and she was she still had the same mentality. She didn't want to know. She you know but I had to explain to her that you know this is who I am. This is who I'm going to be. And if you want me part of your life then you know you're going to have to accept it. And she did and she did. And it was she really she really took it and reached out to me and we got close with it. That's a really it got to be a hard journey for a parent. You know I know even just with kids that changed their names. It's hard enough because it's kind of the parents think oh but I chose that name for you you know and for changing gender you know I mean that first question that pops out is a boy or girl and then everything that goes along with that when in fact these days we have a lot of intersex kids or boys and girls that don't really identify with either gender. So when your child grows up and has been in a one gender and then says that's really not who I am. It's got to be the real kind of psychological whiplash for the parents. So how long was it until your mom called you up and said Amber honey I love you just the way you are. From the time I told her to it was probably about three weeks you know. Oh fast. Yeah it was it was. She was out here and so we were together and stuff and at the time and I don't know if it mattered but I was her means of support out here because my none of my other siblings were here. My father had passed away so I was her kind of her caregiver and and and help her and whatever she needed done I got it done for her. So did she lose it more as gaining a daughter than losing a son? I think she did. I think she did towards the end. She really like I say she really embraced it and I think she was a bit apprehensive to be seen with me for a while but when you know we live in such a small island when we met up with some of her church friends and stuff like that it you know it just it just rolled on. What percentage of you in your core is the same despite like what percent of you if you were to guess like okay that there was this part of me from before from 10 years ago and today that hasn't changed but the the other part that the trappings or the feelings or the outside if you could give it a percent. I mean if I were to give it a percent I would say probably 50 percent okay because you know my likes my dislikes the things that I I do really haven't changed. Okay so if you liked you know friends the episode then you still liked friends afterwards but well I'm an auto enthusiast I like cars you know and I grew up and I I like to fix cars back then no I like to flip them. Okay flipping cars and I was saying like you know when you came in and said it's so nice to be a woman you have so many more choices in how are you going to do with your hair and your makeup and your clothes and your jewelry and you know painting your nails and it's kind of boring to be a man in many many ways just from that that external point of view although sorry folks I still gonna keep my long hair for a while but you never know I might surprise you how did that work in the opposite way so you were a parent yes and a spouse and then you had to come out to those folks how did that work well the spouse didn't take it so well yeah though she did know before we even got really serious she just didn't know that there was going to be a transition as far as my my child I have two an older one and a younger one the younger one is very accepting the older one doesn't really care yeah doesn't really it doesn't have an opinion on it and I think that's probably the case with the millennial these days that you know it's like oh you know my parents are weird anyway they got to do this and so they're doing their own thing right it could be whatever that weirdness is you know they like bowling you know and so in this case it's you know my dad became my probably still my dad I'm just guessing yeah my younger son he's five and he still calls me daddy yeah but you know I didn't want to try to change that with him you know and I don't take offense over and you didn't need to yeah yeah so support services do you currently are you a member of any groups that where you can share your support I know like the lavender center and clinic we had Dr. Hawk and Dr. Rumler on a couple weeks ago maybe a month ago and they have a wonderful health care provider system that that meets the whole spectrum of people from if you need you know vaccine to a blood draw to osteopathic manipulation to you know just regular you know primary care physician along with mental and social services so they have great talk talk shops that are all free for the community which is amazing and a great shout out for the lavender center and clinic do you participate in something like that or give your wisdom beyond your blog in those types of things I do I I'm a big advocate of the lavender center and clinic when I first transitioned that's where I went because there wasn't a whole lot of resources available for somebody like myself trying to transition and I looked you know yeah they they were open and and it really helped me a lot to go there and I was able to get the necessary resources and stuff like that to to be able to start my transition and get the information needed and mainly not from any of the working professionals there as much as the groups and the other transgender individuals yeah different stages of their journey knowing that you're not you're not alone and there's other people out there that support you or that are even like you they're on the same or a similar journey because no none of us were on the same journey but on a similar journey it was amazing I mean I didn't know how big the community for transgender people is on this island until I got involved and do you think that that it's bigger here than it is in the mainland or more accepting because of the host culture and you know a traditional idea of a mahu kane or mahu wahine or and I do agree I I think it is definitely more accepting over here we are kind of a melting pot in itself just being with the different cultures and everything that Hawaii is so you know and transgender community you don't I don't get a lot of negativity here from anybody that's really awesome to hear and that we're I think I like to think we're a little bit have a little more aloha on the aloha land here but I suppose that you know we all have our detractors and no one's going to love us 100% no matter you know who we are and that's okay yeah because we're okay with ourselves and that's the main thing is just so it's fundamental I think of it as you know self-love deep self-love deep self-care what's it extreme self-care and when we when we take that to heart we can share it with other people because we're saying yeah I'm doing what's right for me and you become a role model to the rest of the community and I think you've done that you were in the you were in the Pride Parade this year so tell us about that what was your what was your role in the Pride Parade this year well in the Pride Parade I was Miss Gay Pride Hawaii Miss Gay Pride Hawaii MISS yes okay and what does what is Miss Gay Pride Hawaii well it basically it's it's a organization of triple M organization Mr. Miz and Miss Gay Pride Hawaii and what they do is they they they have this sort of contest where you reach out to the community and such and try to raise money for different organizations so that you can you know help them because everybody's underfunded these days with the government cuts and everything else that goes along with it so this year it was the Gregory House and their their big advocates of the people with HIV and AIDS and they provide services for housing and hospice services food baskets and and that stuff and support services for them and their families so it was a great way to raise money for that specific cause and Gregory House is a fantastic organization and I think we should stress here that you know it's not it's not an easy journey for people to make life isn't an easy journey and we have so many trans kids that are you know saying I don't think I want to stick around this planet but they don't need to think that there are resources available there's you know even if you're feeling like really negative or either suicidal or a hotline they can call 877-565-8860 or just google it you know say exactly I'm not and I think what's happening is sometimes society's hatred is coming on people individually and it's just too overwhelming for them on top of everything else so if they need help if people by all means should reach out to whatever it is they can also reach out to the services here locally like at the lavender center and clinic or they can look on your blog by just googling amber's blog on transgender issues in in google and though you'll pop up with your face it won't be a cat or something like on mine uh so I think that you know by you being you by you being authentically you it helps all of us transgender gay straight old young black white just to say I'm a valuable human being I need to authentically be myself so I can share my gifts with the world and by your out to bravery and example I just want to applaud you for that and also then stepping up to the plate and sharing your journey with other people because the lives that you'll touch today by this short interview that just says wow amber seems totally cool and if I could be as cool as amber in uh you know I'm on board so right yeah I anyway thank you so much for being on here thank you and I hope that you'll come back again and we can explore these topics more deeply because we were just able to scratch the surface yes yes there's so much more I mean if I had to say one thing to to the people out there looking or going through this is is just be true to yourself be real and you know be yourself I don't hide from anybody I you know I wanted to be stealth when I first started but I I don't hide I don't hide the fact that I'm transgender and I just I need to help people so be yourself yourself yeah yeah and be grateful that you have an opportunity to be yourself it's a wonderful life and make it as wonderful as we can so uh it's a obviously fantastic message from a fantastic human being who's here to help us along our journey and you don't need to be transgender to listen to all this message and take it to heart so sadly we are out of time and we have to wrap it up again during this Thanksgiving week I am very grateful that I have had Amber Larson our transgender advocate on our show I will be here in a couple weeks this is Winston Welch on Out and About on the Think Tech live streaming network series so thanks so much for joining us today we welcome your topics remember if you need to reach out for support do so we thank Amber deeply for sharing her personal story with us and look forward to much more in the future thanks to our broadcast engineer the amazing Robert McLean and his awesome graphics our floor manager Eric Calander and Chajay Fiedel our executive producer who puts it all together I'll see you here in a little bit uh a couple weeks for more of Out and About on Think Tech Hawaii aloha and happy Thanksgiving everyone