 Part of women's nature is to be nurtured is to be conciliatory, right? However, I think, especially I want to hone this into our community. I think part of the reason why the story that you're telling about fixing the wrong man, I think why it's so prevalent is because I don't know if the majority of our women know how to handle a good man. I think that unfortunately, too many women only feel useful when they are helping fix a broken man. Because the things that you can do for him are obvious. He need to drive my car, he need to hold a couple of dollars, he needs somewhere to stay. You know, those things are obvious. But a man who's actually building something, a man who's in school to be a software engineer, a man who's got his own car, got his own apartment. I think part of the hit that our community's self-esteem took is subconsciously some of our men and women do not feel deserving of nice things. So we will sabotage it and use words like he's boring, he's exciting to excuse our behavior. When the reality is, no, it's not that he's boring and he's exciting, it's just you can readily identify what he needs. He needs a mom. And I know how to do that. I grew up seeing that. I don't know how to be a wife. I don't know how to be a girlfriend. I didn't grow up seeing that. And I think if we can move the needle away from these niggas they'll let you fix them and then they go their own way to we are choosing brokenness. So similar to Jada, it is in a way, because remember during the interview, she was like, I haven't felt good in a while. It feels good to fix somebody, especially as a woman, if you're empath and all that good stuff, it feels good, it's fulfilling. It gives you purpose in life. So I wish women understood that your power is in the type of masculinity you incentivize. And if you continue to fix men, you will continue to incentivize brokenness. Incentifies brokenness. Say it again. I can't remember it. That was But I mean, I can agree with you because I can say I thought that way before, like wanting to be with somebody. And I'm not saying you choose them because they're broken. It's subconscious. I just want to help because I just want to help. I've been there before and it's natural for us to be that way. And for me, the emotional detachment of it all, because if I'm emotionally detached, I won't, I don't care. I don't care about you being broke, broken, what you got going, I don't care. I don't care. I had one girl I used to talk to back in the day. She told me, because we were talking about her college life, whatever the case may be. And she told me, I don't know how it came up. She was like, I never actually dated men who went to the same school as me. I always dated the locals. And I was like, huh, why? Can you explain that? She was like, well, you know, with the men who went to school with me, let's say I'm going to take a test, right? And I'll be like, Hey, babe, I'm going to take a test. He'd probably be like, Yeah, baby, I got to test it to a clot. You want to study together or whatever the case may be. But with the drug dealer down the street, my little lawyer, my little Michelle, the validation out of this world. So the ego stroke of he needs me. I'm the best thing that happened to him is massive. Whereas with the other dude, if it doesn't work, maybe it was my fault. And most of our ego cannot handle that. So we will go where we're the big fish in a small pond. And I think that's why we keep incentivizing certain types of men. We need to feel needed. Yeah. And like what we're doing. Yeah. And that allows us to be be little too. Yeah. And least respected. Because if you do help a man, you build a man, you have that to hold over him. But that's what it goes back to. It goes back to you don't feel like you deserve better. Yeah. And unfortunately, and this is what breaks my heart, especially in our community, like, there are a lot of gorgeous women, intelligent women. But if you actually like search their hearts, they do not see themselves like that. They do not see themselves like and you'll see the men they end up with and be like, how the hell is that? But that's what she thinks she deserves. Right. She might be beautiful. She might be intelligent. But that's what she thinks she's deserved because that's who she sees on the inside. And I think it goes back to with our culture. We're just now getting to a place where therapy is okay. Healing is okay. So you have all of these broken men and women running around seeking validation for that little girl or that little boy. So now you're finding value in I add value to him and I'm his Michelle Obama. So now I feel validated. Whereas if like myself just found out at 39, I needed to heal and go on a healing journey. Now a heal person has a different perspective than a broken person. So now that I'm healed, I'm not going to put up with certain things because I can see brokenness a mile away. I'm not going to put you down and you're not beneath me. But as somebody that has walked in healing and is walking in healing and pursuing healing, then I'm not going to just take anything. Because I now know who I am and I now know what I deserve. But I think it's a lot of broken men and women on both ends. So now you got two broken people trying to come together, which makes two broken people, two halves don't make a whole. It makes two halves. Would you say that's just collectively with us or you think that's a universal thing? Our culture? I'll say it's universal, but it's bigger with us because therapy was so cliche. And then wrong with you, go pray. You got molested, but it was swept under the rug. So this trauma was never dealt with. So now I'm an adult trying to deal with trauma from when I was five, I got molested and I feel like my body is just, I just give it away and I'm not worthy of anything. All the way from that five year old little girl or little boy. You know what I'm saying? So now there's that unhealed trauma that is just until you got a lot of adults walk around just bumping into things broken and finding, trying to seek validation and building a man. Which makes the biggest difference in this conversation. Or building a woman because I have heard men say I got with her because I felt like I can build her up and she won't cheat. Because she ain't, you know, she's not a dime, but she's, you know, she's not a penny either. So I'm gonna get with her because it's easier. Because she looked up to me, she said, and that I was scratching my head like, huh? And then he said, well, when I built her up, then she started acting like she was beyond saying she cheated. Well, because that still goes back to she didn't know who she was. It has nothing to do with her looks. It has everything to do with what's been done. She's still got that big gap. She's still there. This is my issue with therapy though, because I generally feel like the African diaspora, we all need psychotherapy. Whether Africa's, I'm African, I'm Nigerian, right? So colonialism took a toll on us. Slavery took a toll on y'all. So I think there's a lot of pass down bullshit on both sides. Definitely. What I will say though, I think unfortunately in our community, we are starting to celebrate what I call pop therapy. Because people give me therapy speak. It is what is one thing to go into therapy and truly unpack your traumas and work on becoming a better version of you and actually living it out. But it's another thing to go to two sessions. And then all of a sudden you're speaking like you're a therapist and you're talking about everybody's wronged you, but you're still not taking accountability, right? You're still not living out what you do. It's creating narcissism. Yeah. Unfortunately, I will put that on women. I will say that I'm seeing that more so with women because men are not super therapists. What I'm seeing happen is a lot of women are a lot of black women are getting therapy, but they're not doing the work. They're just getting therapy to say, I've got therapy. So now I have permission to talk down to you non-therapist person. You think they're going to therapy? No, they're going to therapy to get them to get something to make it seem like, yeah, I'm a little bit I'm healed right now. So it's pop therapy and a lot of it when you start investigating it, it does lead to that narcissism. And I'm talking about that talking down, looking, you know, looking down your nose, especially at men because the idea is because I am more emotionally expressive, I am more emotionally intelligent. And the opposite is the case. A lot of women are emotionally expressive. I call them emotional exhibitionists. They cry, they laugh, they be sad. They might even be able to identify, I'm losing, I'm laughing, I'm sad, whatever the case may be. But as far as regulating it, as far as accurately identifying it and being like, Oh, I'm not actually mad. I'm scared. They don't have that ability. And we're nobody's actually calling this out. We're just saying, Oh, she's and Jamal ain't so she's a better person than Jamal.