 Please give it up for Tignataro. Could you continue to play music through my set? Are we going on four hours? What's that? I love when people get really cocky and they like yell out and then you follow up and they're like, No, thank you. Please, leave me alone. Okay, I'm here to be entertained. I don't want to be spoken to. What did you say to me? I'm up here live in concert. What's that? She said ten hours. That was not worth yelling at me. She said it was an honor to introduce me. This is a big deal that I'm here. You know what I'm going to tell you? You know, it's weird to be like getting laughs when I'm doing comedy and just want to be like, That is not, you're not supposed to laugh at that part. Okay, my, this isn't even a joke. This is just information. My great-great-grandfather was the mayor of New Orleans. That's what I tried to come out here and say to get started. And this woman immediately yells at me, We've been here for ten hours. And I was like, what? I say it once and if you miss it, that's it. But even though my great-great-grandfather was the mayor of New Orleans, I, even though I am, you know, royalty, Thanks, please be seated. Let's not do standing ovation throughout my entire set. I'm not the most politically active person, but I'm trying to get better about that. And what I've been doing is just showing up to any given rally and marching with a sign that just says, Yeah, totally. You have to start somewhere. Just got to ease in. And that concludes my political material for the evening. Do you want to hear political material or do you want to hear about diarrhea? It sounds like a town hall meeting. Did somebody say it's the same thing when I said, do you want to hear? Okay, all right, fine. Let me tell you something. You know what? I'm going to save the diarrhea for the end of this. I'm going to tell you that when I was first dating my wife and I told her I'm originally from Mississippi and thank you, one person. We are an hour, less than an hour from Mississippi and I get one woo. How dare you. So when I told my wife when we were dating that I was originally from Mississippi, she said, when I think of people from Mississippi, I picture them barefoot. And I said, well, thank you. But my family is actually civilized. They have jobs. They live indoors. They wear shoes. And I was down visiting Louisiana, Mississippi, Sian family, and she was flying in to meet all of my relatives. And we had maybe 10 or 12 of us piled into a van on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi to drive into New Orleans to spend the day, hang out in the French Quarter, walk around, eat, do whatever, kill time until she arrives. And hours later I said, oh, Stephanie is going to be landing any second. We got to head over to the airport. And so we all piled back in the van. And as they do here, we, my family, put coolers of iced down cases of beer and wine just for the trip to the airport. And so I was driving like the nerd that I am just sober as the day is long, get us to the airport. And I said, you know, she's at baggage claim, just stay put. I'm going to go in and get her and I will be right out. Just curbside, stay right here. I go in, I find her and we head out and I see her look. And she said, is that, is that your family? They had all, all 12 of them gotten out of the van. They had pulled the coolers out onto the sidewalk. They were smoking and drinking and wildly waving, so excited to meet her. And they had taken their shoes off after walking around the quarter all day. Their feet were killing them. And I had to say yes. That is my civilized family that you will be marrying into in two short years. We have two precious baby boys and thank you. And it is really tiring to hear about other people's kids. But it is, but it's also more exhausting to have twins. And when they were about three weeks old, it was maybe four in the morning. We're so tired. Our eyes were rolling in the back of our heads just exhausted. And Stephanie turned to me and she's just so tired. She said, how do you have sex with a baby? And I said, you don't. And that was the beginning of a 10 minute long misunderstanding. She said, what do you mean you don't have sex with a baby? It's like, what do you mean? What do you mean? What are we talking about? Who did I marry? And the best part of that joke, which is true, is that there's always people in the audience that are still left going, you don't have sex with a baby. What are we talking about? Now for the diarrhea. Oh, politics. Any people here noticed at public pools, the signs that say that you cannot go swimming if you have diarrhea? Clap if you have seen the signs. Okay. Here's the thing. I am on their side. I'm like, absolutely you should not be swimming if you have diarrhea. My question is, how frequently was this happening? That they were like, you know what? We got to put a sign up. But how confident of a person do you have to be? To be like, I'm not feeling well. Doctors said I should definitely stay home, stick near the toilet. But you know what? I'm going to head down to the public pool, go swim around with full-blown diarrhea. And the lifeguard's like, hey, you can't swim with diarrhea. So this is a problem? Yeah, I got to get out of the pool. Well, listen, if you don't want me swimming with diarrhea, then you're going to need to hang up a sign because there is no possible way. I would just know that. See, I thought I didn't have political material. Do you guys like impressions? Well, I don't do them. No, I love when people that do impressions tell you the name of the impression. And then one second later, they repeat the name of the impression again, like you're going to forget. Anyway, so this is my impression. All I can think about right now is how many hateful comments are on Facebook Live right now. Anyway, okay. Hi. Hello, everyone at home. Okay, so this is my impression of a person doing impressions. My impression of a person doing impressions. Do you like impressions? Anybody? Does anybody like impressions? Okay, good. This is my impression of a person doing impressions. My impression of a person doing impressions. Do you guys like impressions? Yeah? Okay, great. This is my impression. There is a man 13 rows back that cannot handle this for a second longer. Ew. Okay, I actually do three impressions. I like to do them for you, aside from the one that I just nailed. Okay, the first impression. Very excited. It's by far my worst impression. That's why I start with it. It gets better from here. Okay. My next impression is of Curtin's opening. No, no, no. Nope. Only if you really like it. Only if you really like it. My third and final impression is a clown horn. Clown horn. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Please be seated. Thank you so much. Please. My set. I was listening to you behind the curtain. Hold on one second. Hold on. I'm from Kentucky and I was listening to you. And I'm barefoot. And I was backstage and you were going about Mississippi and I was like, oh my God. I'm barefoot and then he went on about the cooler and I was like, my dad has a policy. He will never pick up somebody from the airport without a cooler of beer. And that's how you get away with generations of alcoholism. You just call it policy. Wait. I had a breakthrough. And policy, that applies because that's a word in politics. Policy. Now, before I leave and I'm leaving, I just want to say very quickly, I said backstage that I had a show in Los Angeles and she was like, hey, can I be on your show? And I thought, I had to promote a movie. I wasn't just obsessed with myself. I know. But I just have to explain. I was like, yeah. I want to explain too. I want to fight with you. I'm not fighting with you. I'll tackle you. Please continue. I will tackle you. I could break you like a twig. Please. And so Kentucky versus Mississippi. Here's the thing. I said, yeah, sure. Put your shoe on. I said, sure. Sure. You can be on my show, but I'm thinking that's weird because it's just normally me doing an hour of stand up and I have an opener for like 15 minutes. What is this person going to do on my show? And then I thought, well, she can come out and just pick. Hi, I have a new movie out. You should go see it and then leave. But now I'm realizing I could do stand up and you could just stand next to me at a podium, barefoot and be like, hey, there's a podium. I'll be there. I didn't realize that it was stand up comedians. That would have been ridiculous. I'm not going on your show. Well, now I have to thank you and good night. Thank you.