 No breakup happens overnight. It usually stems from repressed feelings or realizations that a relationship just isn't working. Before you make the critical decision to part ways, there are seven questions you should ask yourself that will make the breakup as smooth as possible. Pains, hearts and shed in few drops of tears may occur during the process of making your decision, but with time, they will become mere memories. The way and manner you make your breakup decision will determine how fast the pain will pass away. Hence, in this video, I will share with you seven questions to ask yourself before you break up. 1. Do my priorities align with my partner's own? Getting your preferences straight is an important thing to do in life, especially when it has to do with the lifelong decision such as relationships. So, one foremost question you should ask yourself before breaking up is, what are my priorities? It is also essential to go a bit further and ask what are my partner's priorities? Afterwards, answer the question, do my priorities align with my partner's priorities? Although you don't have to share precisely the same goals as your partner, it is essential to have at least similar vision for the future you want to share. For example, if one of you desperately wants kids and one is resolutely child-free, that's not an issue you can compromise on. Being in touch with what you want for your future can help you figure out whether your current partner is the right person to accompany you on your life journey. If you find out that your priorities match, you can decide to give the relationship another try. 2. What attracted you to your partner? In her iconic hit, Come Clean, Hilary Duff mentions, go back to the beginning. This question requires you to look back and think deep. You ought to think back to when you first met your partner and reflect on why you were first drawn to them. What qualities attracted you? Was it their appearance? Apart from the looks, what else attracted you to your partner? Were there any red flags you ignored? Naturally, everyone makes changes in their attitude as individuals, while in a relationship. If you notice your partner's perspective going sour, don't just jump into breaking up. Instead, think back to when you just met them and how they were. Try to find out what went wrong along the line. The chances are that your partner is not becoming worse, but you are the one who has become less tolerant. You and your partner grew into two people who are less compatible than they once were, and that is okay. 3. Does the relationship bring out the best in you? Do you feel that you are the best version of yourself now? Or were you more productive before you got into the relationship? A relationship that is meant to last is one where a partner supports, encourages and admires when the other partner achieves new things. A good companion stares up the passion for self-development and learning new hobbies in the other partner. So, before breaking up, you must determine if your partner is a positive influence on you. If you feel that your partner pulls you down and prevents you from developing at your chosen pace, then that's a reason to think things over because your discontent with each other will probably only increase in the future. Knowing this will even help you determine whether or not you want to steal be friends with that person even after the breakup. Indeed, not every separation has to end in fights and malice. 4. Do we have common goals for the future? Assessing the goals of you and your partner to determine the ones you share is a crucial task to carry out before calling it to quits. Common plans and views will minimize your arguments if you want to live a full life of traveling, partying with friends, adventures and bright moments and your partner is a homebody and an introvert, then you would probably have conflicts because of this. The plans regarding family, work, etc. are no less important. If you believe that you need to build a successful career first and then make plans to have children while your partner supports you, that is great. However, if there is a clash of interest between you and your spouse, then you might need to break up. 5. What could you lose if you go? Before letting go of your relationship, you must first consider what you stand to lose. It might be as simple and mundane as the loss of your partner's income or it could be having to share custody of your kids, thus losing some time with them. Before deciding to carry out your plan to break up, you must first look through all areas of your life where you might lose something, friends, extended family, material possessions, career, aspiration, anything at all. Don't get indecisive over the substantial losses compared to the possible losses. If it is a possibility, put it on your list. You are to give yourself an honest look at the ways your life will change if you live. Keep in mind that not all losses are damaging to. For example, in an abusive relationship, you would lose the need to lie about how you get bruises by leaving. Try to think ahead to several months or even years into the future too, because you might realize there are more things you lose as time goes on. 6. Do you have a communication problem? If you find yourself contemplating a breakup, those negative thoughts can be aggravated if you and your partner don't have good communication habits. Nevertheless, there are specific questions you must answer as regards communication before making the final decision. When you argue, do you feel listened to and disrespected or degraded and beaten down? Can you have a mature, productive, honest discussion with your partner about your relationship? Well, no matter how much you love your partner, if you have very conflicting views on how best to communicate your problems, it might spell doom for your relationship. Again, it's all about how willing you and your partner are to work through the issue. But if you and your partner are reluctant to get on the same page about something as important as communicating your problems, it might be best to part ways. 7. Will it make you happy? Another essential question to ask yourself before breaking up with someone is if you are delighted in the relationship or yearning for more from the relationship than you are currently getting. Even if you cannot put your finger on why you want to break up, that's okay, because all that matters is that you feel like you're making the decision that's best for you. According to Lean Zachary LCSW, there are no mistakes, only learning opportunities, and every relationship is practiced for the next one. Thus, getting to know yourself and what you need from a relationship alone was worth it. When it comes to breaking up, no one except you can decide what the right move is. Even if you're sad about ending your relationship, it is vital to put yourself in your own needs first and learn not to settle for a partner who doesn't fulfill your needs. Breakups hurt, but remember that being single again is just another chance to fall in love all over again, and it is better to be happy and single than to be in a relationship and be unhappy. No one ever goes into a relationship thinking they will break up, except of course you were not serious from the start. Still, throughout your date and live, you'll probably either be dumped or do the dumping at some point. You don't have to overwork yourself when the breakups happen, be sure that you have accurately answered relevant questions before deciding. If you're one of our great fans who have been wanting to know who is behind this channel, now you can know. Kindly check the description box to join Steve Courage's personal channel, learn directly from him, or ask him any question. Thanks!