 So I'm like, that doesn't work out. I haven't trained in 10 days back from the RV trip. Hopefully you guys enjoyed that footage. It was a lot of fun. It was a really, really good trip, hanging with the homies and just relaxing. And I guess that's what we're talking about today is, I have a competition in about four weeks. I've talked many times in the past about why I don't often compete and don't like to compete in the sport of power lifting. I like power lifting as a sport. I like seeing others succeed. I like others having fun in the gym, fun hitting PRs on the platform. But for me, it's just not for me. There's, I guess maybe the mystery, the fulfillment, the satisfaction of competing isn't for me. In basketball, anything can happen. I can outwit somebody. I can be faster. I can outplay. I can predict. I can be on a hot streak. I could be on a shit streak and have to adjust. And that's kind of the fulfillment I got from playing basketball is that I, there's always another tool that I could whip out during the game and try to overcome my opponent. If they're faster than me, then I'm just gonna back off and be a little bit smarter on my defensive positioning. If they're a better defensive team or they're playing zone and we're not knocking down shots, I can call a different player, do something to try to penetrate the defense. In power lifting, you got three lifts. It's literally the most basic sport. It's the most specific sport. It's a lot of fun to train. But if I do A, B, and C in the gym, I should hit X on the platform. And if I hit X on the platform, I don't feel fulfilled because I hit A, B, and C, so I should hit X. I just feel like I did what I was supposed to do. If I don't hit X on the platform, then I feel lower. I feel unsatisfied. I feel grumpy. I feel sad that I did not accomplish the task because training did this. And then in training itself, there's another emotional ride of going up and down and up and down and feeling weak and feeling strong and feeling awesome and feeling like shit. So for power lifting as a competition is not for me. Another reason that I haven't spoken about that I don't like competing in power lifting is me, like many of you out there, I think that, especially prior into power lifting or into things that we do, have a little bit of an obsessive or a addictive personality. So when I get into the zone of lifting, whether I'm competing or not, and that's kind of the issue, is that I get so zoned in and I get so obsessed that I start to almost stop regular life. Hey, Mike, you wanna go play basketball? Nah, in my head, I wanna play basketball bad. I haven't played in a long time. These are my friends I haven't seen, but I have to deadlift tomorrow and I'm gonna be sore. Sorry, guys, can't come. Missing out on life, missing out on vacations and it crossed my mind two weeks ago when the homie Barkhwan and Gio hit me up and said, hey, you wanna go on this RV trip? It's five days, I'm like, shit, I'm deadlifting twice a week, I'm in an okay flow, I'm five weeks out from a meet. If I go on this RV trip, I'm only gonna be able to deadlift once on either end so that's gonna be a seven day gap. It's gonna mess up my training. I might not PR in the competition like I wanted to, but this time, Mike's getting old and I decided I have to live this life, I have to hang out with my friends. It's more enjoyable for me to do that and there's always other deadlift competition. Even if I show up and pull 500 and you guys say I'm a big sucker and no one cares, you guys unsubscribe, you unfollow because I'm weak, you tell me I'm fat and ugly and that I shouldn't have pulled 500, that I got weaker, I still enjoyed those memories and times with my friends and looking back on it, I'm so glad I decided to do it and I'm gonna try to live my life a little bit more like that now. Be a little less obsessed with a task or a hobby or a competition or even my physique or my strength and be more obsessed with having fun and doing what I like. Now it's a lot easier said than done because these things still pop in my brain every time a good meal comes up, going to my buddy's house, staying up late playing video games with the homies last night, even though I had to train today. I'd rather do that and enjoy those times and enjoy my life than be obsessed with this number. On top of that, I've lost weight. My strength isn't what it was two, three years ago because of these other tasks and because of the stress of running businesses and things. And so it's constantly in my head, oh my gosh, was I my strongest of 26 and 27? I'm not what I used to be. I had these numbers stuck in my head that I have to hit in the gym, that I have to hit in the competition to be what I used to be. But overall talking, I'm gonna try to have some fun, I'm gonna try to continue my training. I'm gonna try to do my best in this competition with a sprinkle of fun on top of it. So today, 495, six sets of two, building back up the volume. No more travel really unless it's Los Angeles early for the competition plan. So I will be on schedule, deadlifting twice a week. We're gonna hit a little five week peak, see what happens. Back's a little tight today but I think that's just from sleep and changing beds every night for last week. Overall feeling good, body weights at 204 which ain't bad for a little vacation coming back. So you might do a tiny water cut. I haven't decided yet. We'll see how I feel to get down to 198 or we'll just weigh in and see what the hell happens. I'm not that obsessed with it but I appreciate you guys to listen to me rant. If you enjoy this type of video, leave your questions below. Give this things a thumb up. I am back on the Twitch. So hopefully every night, six, seven, eight specific times, sometimes earlier in the day find me on Twitch, silent M1 KKE twitch.tv fax slash silent one M, silent M1 KKE. Put it on the screen. Catch you guys the next time. I appreciate you. Salamangamal.