 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself have a Coke and Now Claudia Listening for a minute. Tell me if you know where we're going. I know where we're going I've stopped whistling we're going toward state room 18 on a deck state room 18 on a deck Makes it sound so simple We've been walking through the halls of this ship not halls darling. How many times do I have to tell you companion way? Who's companion we've been walking through the companion way? See that sounds silly Of this ship looking for Julia and Hartley state room for hours now for five minutes seems like ours David are we lost or not? Ah, here's a little sign Cabins 4 to 14 our opponents this way we want 18 or isn't a state room a cabin a State room is a cabin darling. We think a board ship is all mixed up They call passageways halls and cabin state rooms. Why do they call them state rooms anyway search me on a train It's a drawing room on a ship. It's a state room in a house. Just a plane room. There's no no no method in it Are you supposed to draw on a train and state on a ship or whatever that is? It ought to be around here someplace I suppose a state room is a lot fancier than a cabin if that's what Julian Hartley have it's a lot fancier This ship has a funny smell hasn't it? I'm not sure I'd like to go all the way to London in it What makes it smell like this? Oh the salt air and the linoleum and the paint. It's a very special smell I like it. There's something romantic and exciting about it. Well, we've come to the end of this hall Companion ways. I don't see any state room 18 Look on the other wall and see if there's a sign darling. It's a bulkhead. What's a bulkhead the wall is a bulkhead Now David stop insulting it that wall hasn't done anything to you at all what? Okay, isn't that the same thing as a dope in nautical lingo my beloved landlubber a wall is correctly known as a bulkhead To me you have to learn a completely different language if you're going to travel on a ship. Let's go to the starboard darling I have a feeling state room 18s in that direction its way is starboard to the right That's exactly what I mean and by the way. I didn't know you were a sailor. Oh, didn't you know? I am not really Davey Norton. I am Davey Jones at your service madam Well, here we are to starboard. I'm starting to think that Julia and Hartley aren't on this boat at all ship darling Come on. Let's walk to port darling. Oh, we were in port. Isn't that where ship is when it's standing still port is left You mean we have left port? David will be halfway to London if we don't find somebody you just follow me You don't see the be doing very well. It seems to me you're lost. You can't get lost on a ship Why not because there's just so much room to get lost in that makes sense So if you walk long enough you're bound to get back where you started from we walked almost that long enough It seems so to me drawing room state room blockheads port starboard. I I'd make a terrible sailor I have no talent for languages Imagine going all the way to London just for a wedding. All right, then Julia not going just for a wedding darling They're going to Lord Ravensdale's daughter's wedding. Uh-huh. Very chic Lord Ravensdale very dull lady Ravensdale Still not finding their highnesses state. Maybe it's downstairs below below what on a ship darling below means Downstairs all you're missing is a tattoo on your chest. I had it removed the day before we got married. Oh, hi David you wish it was us going to London we You don't have to talk French all you have to do is talk like a sailor Do you wish it was us going to London not especially me neither all I want to go is to Connecticut? I think You know, it's amazing how a big heavy ship like this stays afloat. I can understand a cork or a match But a big heavy ship darling. I think I hear what we're trying to find I do too. I hear voices Just when I was starting to think some big quail and eating up all the people we saw on the boardwalk the deck. Oh Then the boardwalk is that little bridge we walked up to get on the deck. That's the gang plank Well, that's the first logical name. I've heard anything called aboard this ship There certainly was a gang of people walking up that plank here your state room 19 18 must be on the other side of the hall companion way. Oh Here it is As if there are a million people in there sounds like a party darling You didn't think that Julian Hartley would leave for London without a commotion date. Well In we go Well do come in come in if you can find an inch of space The state room is as crowded as a Mark's brother movie Let me get you a little something Oh, that doesn't matter. You've got to have a little champagne I'm paying ten o'clock Hartford Hartley always feels that salings a celebration. It is exciting exciting terrible nuisance Oh such a lot of fuss and commotion packing and unpacking in these dreadful little rooms David you told me all the windows would be round. That's below decks darling. Oh, I wish we didn't have to be going but I Promise Lord Robinson. I need to think I'd love to go. It's getting in my blood. Are you a good sailor? I can't even talk like one here. You are my dear and for you David. Oh, thank you How long are you going to be in London hardly? Oh, just a few weeks David. I hope not longer I really prefer New York in April, but we may step over to Paris for ten days or so step over to Paris Well the continent is so convenient to England these days. It seems a shame not to take advantage of it. Yes does doesn't it? Oh, oh, excuse me a second lamb. I want to say hello to mrs. Montague. I'll be right back I suppose you'll be moving up to the farm while we're away two weeks in today Oh my oh my I must say I envy you. Why is it people always wish they were where they aren't? Everybody except you know, I'm starting to feel a little like that myself David there's something so exciting about sailing you'll have to take Claudia to Europe someday David Oh, I'm afraid I'd lose her to a third mate with a tattoo on his chest That sounds as if we're ready to shove off maybe we better go above above what darling well if below is below Isn't above above above his top side on a ship Listen to the gun that means we've only got five minutes before sailing Heartland my dear mrs. Montague wants to say goodbye to you and all that. Mmm. Goodbye David. Goodbye, Claudia And have a nice trip hardly by hardly and you have a nice farm my dear Well darling, we better get a shore of a sudden. I hate to leave the ship. Me too Better get started it will get lost again We won't find the gangplank till we're in the middle of the ocean and it's a sure thing. We won't find it there Oh Yet we're on land again. Yeah, it's a close call David they're practically an orchestra No little short ones at the tugboats look now They're pulling up the gangplank the tugs are going to start pushing her down the river This big ship would be pushing them Yeah, I hear birds. Yeah seagulls darling They follow the ship until she gets past the site of land. I think Columbus must have been the bravest man Imagine nothing but a sail. He didn't even know where he was going David you can smell the salt. Mm-hmm smells good doesn't it and feel the wind. Oh Look, there she goes. She's moving Goodbye. Bye. Why is it when I don't want to be going to London that I wish I were going? No, I guess it's the same feeling when you hear a train whistle at night This gate weren't up and the gangplank folded away I think I'd Rush up on that deck and stand up on the top of the deck and and let the wind blow on my face And my darling, I'd better hold you in my arm better David someday will go on a ship trip won't we boat trip But you said well anyway, won't we not someday darling, but now today. What do you mean? Come on? All aboard on the Staten Island very lovely ship David I like it much better than the Barotania so much cozier and we won't get lost in the companion ways of this one We must have just lifted the anchor. You don't lift anchor you weigh it. Why who cares how heavy What's the difference anyway a ferry hasn't got an anchor good besides which I'm sure this ship understands just plain land English Look both ends of it are wrong. How does it know which direction it's going? Oh, it knows it knows It's gone back and forth the Staten Island so many times it knows Hey, I tell you come on darling what will stand up front, but don't you lean too far over the rail you hear me? Yeah, I hear Say David, where is Staten Island anyway right across the bay mate in the middle of New York Harbor? You mean it's been here all the time and I've never been there Well, I'm certainly glad I'm seeing Staten Island before I'm seeing London You know, it's the longest boat ride in the world for a nickel It just shows that the best things are to be found at home David look look there's the Barotania coming out into the harbor and still being pushed with a little tugs Look at New York in the distance. It's all gray like a cardboard. You can feel the water rolling underneath us Just like an ocean voyage It's all part of the magic of Baghdad Did you say Baghdad Baghdad on the subway a laden with his magic nickel Just think of it the town where five cents buys an ocean voyage a hundred mile railroad ride Bagdad on the subway the town of Aladdin and his magic nickel darling Some women look envious Lee at the hostess who manages to stay unruffled. She was just born that way They say she doesn't turn a hand no matter how many guests descend upon her Maybe it's simply a matter of foresight that keeps her so calm though Maybe it's just that she knows there's always plenty of coca-cola in the refrigerator So she doesn't need to fuss about refreshments The home where there's always coke on ice is apt to be a pretty easy-going place a place That's popular with grown-ups and young people alike say Joe Joe have you ever sailed on the Staten Island ferry? Well, David. It's a lovely boat trip. Isn't it cutting through the harbor. Hmm. It really takes you out of things Somehow it always makes me feel that I've been away and I've come home refreshed and for Aladdin's nickel Same price as that refreshing bottle of coke. It's quite a buy on Monday I'm probably going to wish I were far a sea on the Staten Island ferry again. Why David? What happens on Monday? Claudia insists on advertising for a maid in Monday morning's paper. That sounds sensible What's so terrible that you expect? I don't know yet, but I've got a feeling that when my wife interviews a prospective mage She'll find that they aren't made in heaven. Oh, I see. Well, see you Monday then David. Yep. Have a nice weekend, Joe All right. See you David as I was about to say Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor Who bottles Coca-Cola so listen again Monday at the same time? And now this is Joe King saying out of wire and remember Whoever you are whatever you do Wherever you may be when you think of refreshment think of Coca-Cola or ice cold Coca-Cola makes any pause The pause that refreshes Claudia has come to most of you now for the past six months We'd welcome any suggestion or anything you may wish to say about our show right to Claudia Post office box number 173 Church Street station New York 8 New York and I'll repeat that address Claudia post office box 173 Church Street station New York 8 New York and now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola