 Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of one's personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless they love them, Victor Frankel. Many consider love, particularly romantic love, to be one of the highest forms of bonding among human relationships. The bond between romantic partners can have a life-altering impact upon those in love, all across the world, stories of enticing romance, burning passion, and happily ever after, enchant people into craving the sweetness that only love can offer. In reality, however, love is hard. Love can be messy and cruel. Anyone who's ever been in love can tell you that it can leave you feeling brokenhearted, desperate, or even lonely. And as feelings and attraction fade, loving someone can feel confusing and difficult. Then it might be natural to ask, what makes love hard? What are some things that can make love more risky and less appealing? In today's video, we want to share harsh truths about love that may be unpleasant to hear and explore some of the reasons why dating and romance can be so difficult. 1. Love can be intoxicating For anyone who's ever been in love, you may have experienced lots of appetite, poor sleeping patterns, and irrational thinking. This happens because when you find someone attractive, your brain starts to release dopamine, a type of neurotransmitter that gives you a sense of pleasure. However, high levels of dopamine have been associated with aggression, poor impulse control, binge eating, alcohol abuse, and jealousy. In fact, an article published by CNN suggests that a brain in love is strikingly similar to a brain under the influence of narcotics such as cocaine. Some studies even suggest that high levels of dopamine decrease the production of serotonin, which regulates mood, appetite, and sleep. Low levels of serotonin have been associated with anxiety and depression. It is the combination of high levels of dopamine and low levels of serotonin that make intense love all the more dangerous and highly addictive. And if left unchecked, love can drive us to make poor decisions and harm our bodies. So, it's always wise to keep our emotions in check when we feel strongly attracted to someone and to make sure that we don't sacrifice our own well-being for the sake of love. 2. Younger the love, the heart of the fall What do homecoming dancers, senior proms, summer camps, and sports rallies have in common? They are the perfect ecosystem for teenage romance. Grand gestures of romance in the form of intimate songs and intricate promposals across all social media platforms drive many young people to yearn for their own romantic encounter. In fact, a survey done by Pew Research Center found that about 35% of teens have been in a romantic relationship of some kind. But what are the impacts of these relationships on mental health? A 2001 study by Professor Cara Joyner of Cornell University attempted to examine the effect of romantic relationships on adolescent depression. The researchers analyzed a sample of 8,200 teens in grades 7 through 12 in 134 schools in the US who were asked to fill out a survey on their mental health and relationships, including romantic encounters. They found that teens who were romantically involved experienced a significantly larger increase in symptoms of depression than those who were not. This happens especially when teens in love don't have a support system, perform poorly in academics and have a poor relationship with their family. In addition, teens in love tended to experience more alcohol abuse and delinquency than those who weren't. While young romance can be sweet and enticing, it's always safer to approach with caution while building a healthy and reliable support system. 3. The risk of being cancelled The dynamics of human connection have been changing rapidly in the past few decades. With the development of technology and social media, people are making connections with others across the globe in a matter of seconds, which also makes intimate relationships much more accessible. Dating apps make it possible for people to find a date in just a few swaps, but easy access doesn't always mean easy success. In a survey conducted by Pew Research Center, of 4,860 adults in the US, over half the participants claimed that dating has been getting harder in the past 10 years. This could be because more and more people aren't looking to date. In fact, the same survey suggests that about half the people who were reportedly single were not actively looking to date. In addition, about 65% of them also claimed that recent changes in social dynamics make it hard for people to know how to interact when they're on a date. This could be because of how easily social media can blow anything out of proportion. While social media has created accountability for people's actions, it's also made it increasingly difficult for people to do or say something without accusation, speculation, or repercussion, with almost no chance for reconciliation. The same fear applies to dating, where people have been cancelled over one comment, one action, or one post about past relationships, and any attempts to apologise are met only with harsh criticism and cynicism. Our declining interest in dating and increased risk of personal actions being taken out of context make dating less appealing and ever more challenging. Number four, married people can still feel lonely. Would it surprise you that married people can still experience loneliness? This really depends on the quality of the marriage. A 2018 study published by National Library of Medicine surveyed 953 married couples, categorising their marriage into four different groups, supportive, ambivalent, indifferent, or aversive. The researchers attempted to examine the association between the quality of the couple's marriages and loneliness. First, they found that less than half of the married couples felt that they were in supportive marriages. Further, partners who were in aversive and indifferent marriages were more likely to experience loneliness in their marriage than their supportively married counterparts. So, creating a supportive environment through hard work and effort is crucial in maintaining a healthy marriage, and thus, preventing marital loneliness. Ultimately, it is up to us whether we decide to pursue love, despite the risks and challenges. We must also understand the work it takes for marriages to be truly happy and supportive. But don't lose your hope. Love can still be a wonderful experience for anyone. To quote psychologist Eric from, Love isn't something natural. Rather, it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice. What about you? Have you ever been in love? What has your experience been like? Tell us in the comments below. And if you want to find out more about love, check out our other videos. Thanks for watching!