Starring Rachel Bloom Featuring Aleka Emerson, Alexia Silvaggio, Latrice Gregory and Adama Elder Written by Rachel Bloom and Adam Schlesinger Directed by Alex Hardcastle Choreographed by Kathryn Burns Cinematography by Todd Dos Reis
Rebecca: I got them heavy boobs, heavy Boobs, dense like dying stars. I got them heavy boobs, heavy Boobs, I can't run real far.
Let me break down what I just Said (aah aah). Each of my double D's has the volume of a toddler's Head. Not bitchin' bout my boobies They look super fly in shirts (aah aah).
But if I swung them in your face You'd be like "omigod that hurts." I'm blind. Holy crap. I literally can't See. I have permanent retinal damage.
I'm suing you and your heavy boobies. Heavy boobs. Heavy boobs. Dense Like dying stars. I got them Heavy Boobs, heavy boobs - They each have their own memoirs.
What you gotta know is that boobs May be where it's at (aah aah). But If you cut them open they're just Sacks of yellow fat. Stuff falls into My bra, it's a little bit of a drag (aah aah). But when I got to bed at night it's Like opening a Mary Poppins bag.
Dancers: Whee, candy! and, pennies!
Rebecca: I got them heavy boobs, heavy Boobs, dense like dying stars. I got them heavy boobs, heavy Boobs. Don't need an airbag in My car.
Here is a list of all of the objects That I can hold under my boobs:
Stapler, 10 pencils, paperback Copy of "Arabian Nights", dog bowl, Remote control, hard back copy of "Wuthering Heights".
Rebecca (spoken): See, when a star's mass is not high enough to become a neutron star, it will expand into a red giant, and if the red giant has insufficient mass to generate carbon, an inert mass builds up in it's center and the star becomes a dense white dwarf. And so, yeah, that's what my boobs are like.
Rebecca: I got them heavy boobs, heavy Boobs, dense like a white dwarf. I got them heavy boobs, heavy Boobs -- They'd be a catch at Fishermans' Wharf. I got them heavy boobs, Heavy boobs.
Don't ever forget that these heavy Boobs, heavy boobs are just sacks Of yellow fat. Like the stuffing Of a couch. They're just sacks of Yellow fat.
Technically meant to feed a baby. They're just sacks of yellow fat.