 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, The Rise of Casual Relationships, explained. We're gonna explain why there's such a rise in casual relationships. Not really quickly before we get started, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. Also, if this content resonates with you, please do me a favor and hit that like button so it gets seen in the algorithm and more people get a chance to see this. All right, we're gonna talk about the rise of casual relationships. Really quickly, one more thing though. If you're watching the replay, I'm gonna do the content first, then we're gonna go to Q&A. So just to let you know, we're gonna do the content first and go to Q&A and I wanna put my phone on silent. All right, so let's jump into why is there such a significant rise of casual relationships? What's changed since the time of my mother and father who met, my parents were born in the, in actually 1920s, my mom born in 29, my father born in 25, whole different ball game for that silent generation versus the baby boom, the Gen X and the Gen Z and the millennials. So it's a whole different ball game and that's what I wanna address today. So what are some of the fundamental differences from in the past to today? So let's go back in history for a moment. Let's think of caveman days where basically people lived in small tribes, if you will, and there was probably for argument's sake, 10 men and 10 women. So basically there was no dating, there was strictly mating. Men were spreading their seed, so you can make babies and those babies can take care of the elders and that sort of thing. So that's kind of the caveman period and as we progress throughout history for the most part, for the longest time we lived in tribes and villages, we lived in tribes and villages. So our whole mating process, and I use the term mating because that's what it was for. You made it for survival reasons. You made it for mated, M-A-T, mated, M-A-T-I-N-G, wait, how do you spell, mate, M-A-T, well, you get the I-N-G version of that. And that's what was happening up until around the 17th century where love was really more introduced, certainly from the French and the European culture, started to more focus on love and connecting from that premise. But still for the longest, for the most part, everybody met people that lived in their tribe, their town. And we can fast forward to the 19th century and the 20th century. And even in the 20th century, the beginning of the 1900s, for the most part, you met people that lived in your proximity because proximity created what's known as continuity. In other words, the roots to a relationship. Now, most likely you shared the same values because you grew up in the same environment. You had blendable lifestyles together. So it was much easier to find a partner who was compatible with you because predominantly, if you grew up in the same type of environment, you shared the same values and you had lifestyles that were blendable, okay? Now, I haven't even gotten into emotional maturity, but we'll get to that in a second. So as we progress throughout history, things started to change. In fact, dating is actually a relatively new phenomenon. It's only really been around for the last 50, 60 years because for the most part in the past, and I'm not saying always, but God dang it, my pants are writing up my crotch again. But in the past, if you wanted to get laid, you had to get married. So there was a commitment that happened right away for the longest part, or if there was a pregnancy, you got married for those reasons as well. Now let's fast forward a little bit more into the modern era where things started to change with the proliferation of divorces starting around the 1960s. We saw a breakdown of families which actually created a kind of a dysfunction because it's split up wealth, it's split up wealth. And oftentimes a woman would maybe was a stay at home mom, had to go back to work. So that changed the dynamic as well. And as we progress further, we have to differentiate, and this is a topic about men over 40 versus the men in their 20s and 30s because here's the difference. And I'm gonna get to why casual relationships are on such the rise. So just bear with me a second. Okay, when a man is in his 20s and 30s, he's most likely, if he's seeking a relationship, he's most likely seeking a wife, someone to be the mother of his children. Now, not necessarily may think that way, but for the most part, young women, young men think about starting a family together. So a man is in that space of hunting for a wife. Okay, and he's in a space maybe where he'll even consider being the provider and protector. Now I say the words consider because the reality is today, at least here in the United States, is 80% of the population makes less than $100,000 a year. And quite frankly, we practically need two incomes to survive as we age, okay? Because the cost of living is so high. It used to be you could buy a car for $1,000. Now to buy an inexpensive car, you have to spend $30,000 and income hasn't increased to the same level of inflation. So we need two incomes. But why I was getting to that is that inner drive to be the provider protector starts to shift, okay? Maybe in our 20s and 30s, we might be thinking that way, men thinking that way, but that's certainly still a challenge and that's why so many couples are a two income household, but bear with me. So now we're gonna get into this category of what's happening from people in their 40s. And what's so fascinating to me is roughly 75% of the single population who is over 45 is divorced. And what's different in our 20s and 30s, I want you to think about it, most Americans have gone to college. So in your 20s, you're around a group of single eligible people. But this drastically changes, I think of my son. In fact, this live stream was birthed on a conversation I had with my son earlier today. 25 years, he'll be 25 next week. He was in college, had abundance of people to connect with. Now literally virtually no single eligible people are in his purview. Now part of that was the lockdown and part of it is he has an internet-based business for himself. So he's not surrounded by single and he's in his 20s. Imagine what this is like in our 30s, 40s and 50s. Now I said the vast majority of people in their 40s are divorced. So we're dealing with a whole nother issue from a mindset perspective. And so here's where the challenge lies and why casual relationships are on the rise. Now you gave me a chance to kind of give you the thoughts on this. Now I want to share with you why casual relationships are on the rise. For people over 40, since the vast majority of people are divorced, that motivation, that motivation to raise a family doesn't exist. And there was this fantasy that many of us boomers and Gen Xers grew up with was the Brady Bunch family, you know, where you took a widower and we find out later that Carol was divorced. It was always suspect in the show but they had easily blended their families together. It was so magical. Carol didn't have to work. She even had Alice taking care of the kids all the time, a housekeeper, I mean, talk about fantasy land. And this is what we grew up with this fantasy that's just so easy after age 40 to blend lives with one another. And we are learning why this is such a challenge. Add to that, when a person goes through a divorce oftentimes they're gun shy. They're gun shy to want to remarry. They're gun shy to want to take on that provider protector role. And I want to lean into that because that's a significant reason why we are not seeing fully committed relationships in more casual relationships because men and women don't want to commingle funds. They don't want to commingle their lives together. And that is one of the most significant roots in a relationship is when you act property together, when you live together, when you share expenses together that's a significant root. And so that's one of the challenges with fully committed relationships is they don't know what it looks like to be in a fully committed relationship because many of them don't want to go fully committed. Is it committed here? Like they should be committed to a sanitarium. I don't mean it that way. In fact, I did pull up the definition of commitment for everyone. I want to read this to you. The definition of commitment, the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause. Number one, number two, the definition of commitment and engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. So can you see how we have these opposing forces going on? A, we don't want to give up our freedom. Men and women alike don't want to give up their freedom especially if they've been burned in the past. And when you think about second and third marriages have a failure rate at 65 to 75% versus first time married at 50%. What does that say about the relationship failure rate or ending rate? So the reality is, is most people don't know what their common cause is. It's not, because here's the thing. Human beings want companionship. They want connection. They want sex. Let me repeat that. They want connection or companionship, connection and sex. But what's the common cause keeping them together other than those three things? Are we really teammates in each other's lives? Are we really gonna be there to support one another? Without a significant route, it makes it very challenging. And this is why we're seeing the proliferation on the rise of casual relationships. Excuse me, my pants are, I think I mentioned in my last video, I go commando. But that's why we're seeing a rise in casual relationships because people, humans, men and women like don't know what commitment looks like for them or maybe they don't wanna go fully committed. So what they're left with is basically the following, an agreement to be monogamous and exclusive with one another, but that's about as far as the commitment goes. Whereas I'm a big proponent to really lean into the desire to be fully committed and that creates the greatest chance for longterm success. Let me repeat that, having that desire to be fully committed, but it can be scary, especially when you think of assets and when you think of incomes and when you think of supporting one another. And a lot of men don't wanna be the provider protectors. That's why this whole narrative that you hear from the feminine energy coaches and the men are just gonna claim you and they're just gonna be so chivalrous and all you have to do is sit back in your feminine energy and it's just gonna magically work out. All right, listen, I recognize that that rhetoric and that's what it sounds to me as rhetoric is great for the early stages of attraction, that first, second and third date stuff. I'm talking about why relationships don't go the distance. And you can watch every single video about leaning back in your feminine energy. It still ain't gonna work for a variety of reasons. A, part of it is both, by the way, women say the same thing to, when I say men don't wanna be provider protectors, I'm gonna tell you, I hear from women significantly. I don't wanna be a nurse and I don't wanna be a purse. And repeat that, I don't wanna be a nurse and I don't wanna be a purse. Has anyone heard that one before? I've heard it. Well, men don't wanna be a nurse or purse either. One of the reasons why oftentimes men choose younger women because they don't wanna be a nurse made to someone. And so this is the challenge for both men and women alike. How are we gonna overcome this? That's what I wanna lean into today. And this is why I'm such a big proponent to actually considering getting remarried. I know I'm gonna consider, I wanna get remarried. Now my partner may not, my future partner, whoever that is, haven't met her yet, she might not feel the same way. That's okay, I'm okay with that. But I wanna live together with someone because I recognize the value of the roots needed to make a relationship work. But so many people are gun shy and this is why we're seeing a rise of casual relationships. And the real problem with casual, it's easy to dismiss as well. And I wanna encourage everyone to approach the process from a different perspective. This is why, well, one of the reasons why I wrote my book, if you haven't read my book, what the heck is self-love anyway? It's because, and by the way, it's a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. And by the way, it's available on Audible's now. So check out the link below to self-love the book. The book is available on Audible, yay. Okay, so why am I bringing up my book? Because I think one of the real challenges today, I talked about shared values, blendable lifestyles is emotional maturity, emotional maturity. And the reality is the way I see it is the vast majority of the human population has weak emotional skills at best. Weak skills at best. Weak skills at problem solving, weak skills at taking ownership, weak skills at of apologies, weak skills of communicating their needs, wants and desires. And this is true of men and women alike. This isn't singular to men. This is true of men and women alike. And these are just some of the challenges. So how do we overcome this? If you've watched my live streams before, if you watch my YouTube channel, I talk about what a committed relationship looks like for me. By the way, many of you could probably already recite what I say. I always say, I'm looking for a relationship where we spend three or four days and nights a week together, where we do shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, travel together, being in partnership with one another, both in our personal and our professional lives, with intimacy, both emotional and physical intimacy that leads to either living together or getting married. I am crystal clear if that's what I want. What's the, now, what's the value of that? Well, that means I'm intentional. What that also means is I'm not going to waste time dating the wrong person. And sadly, and even if there's strong chemistry with someone, I will not date someone who doesn't share my values, whose lifestyle isn't blendable mind. And most importantly, she's not an emotional grownup. And I've learned how to vet for emotional maturity very quickly. In fact, one of the things I teach as a coach is what I call pre-qualifying your prospect. Ladies, I spoke to a woman just a few days ago. She had 50 dates, 50 dates in an eight month period of time during the pandemic. She met 50 men and they went nowhere. Well, her issue is she does, and by the way, she met them all through the internet and the reality is is 90% of all new dating is happening through the internet. Because of the pandemic and everything, the reality is we're not meeting people out in our daily lives. Look, I live in a condo complex with 600 units. The love of my life could be right across the balcony from me, but I won't even know she exists because we don't socialize, single people don't socialize together. It used to be going to bars was the place, but that's kind of cheesy because it was mostly driven by alcohol and luster limerence. By the way, if you're not familiar with luster limerence, Google it, limerence means extreme infatuation. In fact, most of us adopted this belief that that attraction, strong attraction equals relationship success. And I'm here to say that's bunk because for relationship success, you need shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. That's why I said, I teach how to, for that woman who went on on 50 dates, if she'd worked with me, we would have eliminated 45 of those right off the bat by asking better questions of yourself and of the other person before you ever meet. Wouldn't you rather save time and then pre-qualify the best options? Or you can just keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. What did they call that? The definition of insanity. So the way we're going to overcome this is to be intentional and to recognize that chemistry is not the indicator of relationship success. In fact, ladies, love is not the indication of relationship success. We have been so suckling on the nipple of love is gonna solve all our problems because if we love each other, magic fairy dust is gonna make everything work out so wonderfully. This magic fairy dust, I don't understand, and I'm speaking to women right now, I really don't understand why you think magic fairy dust, the magic fairy dust of love is supposed to solve incompatibility. And the more two people are incompatible, the challenge there is in the relationship. By the way, I wanna thank you for that super sticker really quickly. We're gonna answer questions in just a moment. So rise of casual relationships, it kinda laid out the why. What's most important is what do you want? Set your standard, know what you want, and be intentional about it. And my invitation for you is learn how to pre-qualify your prospect. I know that doesn't sound sexy, but dating isn't about let's just have fun, it's all about a good time, let's just have fun, let's just have a good time. You know what, how's your day going? Let's just have a good time. Here's what happens when you have too many short-lived good times. You have one after another after another after another. Then you start not having a good time, then you start getting judgmental, and you start getting resentful, and then you become bitter and jaded. And I wanna help you avoid that. All right, so we're gonna take questions in just a moment really quickly before, if you do have a question, you could purchase a super sticker or a super chat. All funds from super stickers and super chats go to a foundation that I'm gonna begin for my son Connor, that's my son Connor. He's my son, if you're not aware of this, I talk about this in other videos who passed away. It'll be coming up on three years now. And in his honor, in honor of Connor, I'm gonna start a foundation to support personal develop, to set up a scholarship fund for personal development for people. So that's my goal. So all the super stickers go to that. Also, if you have a question, write the word question, and then post your question after that. Now, I wanna share with you something that happened in my last livestream before we take questions in a moment. So I shared that I consider myself a high value man, not from a place, maybe a little bit of place of arrogance see a little bit. I do see myself as a high value, but I've worked very hard on personal development, self-help and spiritual work to become as emotionally mature. I think I'm far more emotionally mature than the average man. I'm not saying, oh man, but I do believe I'm in the top 10% of emotional maturity. That's my belief, I could be wrong, okay? But I will tell you, it's because I take, my actions match my words. I take personal responsibility for my choices. I know how to fight fair. I have empathy both for myself and others, and I'm transparent. So I shared that I'm seeking a woman who matches me in that realm. In other words, I'm seeking a woman who's willing to put mutual effort in the dating process. And here was a message I got based on that. And I just wanna share this with you all, because it fascinates me, some of the rhetoric I hear. So one woman wrote, said, Jonathan, I appreciate your work with respect to self-love and vetting for emotional ability. But wow, you are such a narcissist. It's not a woman's job to chase and impress you online. You are not the prize, the woman is the prize. So I can't imagine that type of woman would be attracted to your energy. How are you still in business as a dating coach? So I'm a narcissist, huh? I'm fascinated at humans that can judge other people based on one short clip of their life. This person has no clue about the balance of my life, and yet she was able to judge me based on my comments. She went on to say that women are more entitled to love than men, because they somehow deserve it more than men. And she said I'm not qualified as a coach, even though the fact that every coaching client whoever works with me writes me these beautiful testimonials about what a difference I made in their life. This woman also doesn't know through the pain and agony I went through through a loss of a child, or maybe she does, but somehow I'm a narcissist. Wow. Now I'm gonna own something. I'm a little bit arrogant and I'm a little bit righteous. I wanna own that about myself. I'm a little bit arrogant and I'm a little bit righteous. Now my righteousness comes because I want to scream at the top of my lungs to encourage people to do personal development, self-help, and spiritual work to shore up their emotional maturity, because sadly we are suckling on another nipple called I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. And I'm here to shout at my top of my lungs and yes, I'm a little bit righteous and yes, I'm a little bit arrogant. But to call someone a narcissist you've never met, and I got angry, I was gonna write something nasty back at her and then it occurred to me. This is a woman probably hurting. And so I'm just sending energetic love, sending energetic love because that's all I can do for someone who's hurting. It doesn't mean I don't set a healthy boundary in my life and if someone bullies me, I will delete them from my page if there's bullying going on because I need to protect myself too. But I'm here to say folks, we have to be careful of blatant judgment based on one little bit of information about a human being. This is why I'm so fucking tired of the cancel culture and all the other bullshit rhetoric going out there. And then you wonder why relationships are so fucking dysfunctional. And yes, I curse. Okay, for those that get upset with my language, what is the big deal with throwing an F-bomb? It's just a sentence enhancer. And I'm sorry for all the snowflakes that get so delicate because I said the F word and I said penis and vagina and oh my God, your body is gonna shrivel up because I offended you. These are just words. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. Folks, don't get caught up on the languaging. Listen to the messaging. That's what matters most. And if this less messaging resonates with you, please hit that like button right now. Thank you so much. All right, let's go to that super sticker and see what she said. Bear with me. Wow, that's a lot I gotta cover here. Melissa says, Jonathan, thank you. Love your content honesty. Oh, thank you so much, Melissa. I appreciate that. Big hugs to you. Rosie says, yay, audible. Yes, go to my link right here. I've got Jonathan recommends books. My book called Self Love the Book. Check out the link. It'll take you right to Audible. I think it's for free to everyone who has a prime account or something. All right, thank you so much. Asholomi, oh, I don't even have a pronounce. As of your back today, my back still hurts. It's been 10 days that's never lasted this long. Oh, I haven't been able to exercise but thank you for asking. Lisa Cunningham says, sometimes love isn't left to solve major issues. That is so correct. In fact, in the book, Barbara DeAngelis wrote a book called Are You the One for Me? Folks, chapter one, read that. Love is not enough. Love is not enough. Falling in love is magical and powerful experience. Each kiss, each conversation, each moment in the beginning seems so right, so perfect but soon attraction and infatuation becomes a relationship and we're brought down to earth with the challenges and realities of sharing our lives with another human being. This is why I'm such a big proponent of understanding that if two people don't share the same values, and by the way, here in the United States, I mean, we are now a divided country. It's red, it's blue. It's masks, it's no mask. It's vaccine, it's no vaccine. It's cancel culture, it's free speech. I mean, we are really divided here. That means almost one out of every two people you meet are not gonna share your values. Even, now I live in Los Angeles, it's a melting pot of human beings and we have different races and different cultures and such. So this is one of the greatest challenges, is shared values. Then we have to add lifestyle compatibility. And sadly, and it fascinates me how many women will invest in long distance relationships that are most likely never, ever, ever going to work out. But magic fairy dust will make it work out because that's what magic fairy dust does. It makes all long distance relationships work. No, it's hard enough to get when two people live five miles from each other to work. Adding distance only prolongs the agony because if you do not have a plan right from the get go, how are you gonna take this distance into a short distance? If there's no plan, it ain't gonna happen most likely. It is so rare, it's probably less than 2% of long distance relationships ever actually materialized into something powerful. I mean, a juicy, delicious, healthy relationship. So going back to Lisa, exactly right. Love is not enough to solve compatibility issues, shared values, blundable lifestyles and then a good emotional maturity. And this is one of the things the problem with long distances is you don't see someone's emotional maturity when you're in what's known as a fantasy or bubble relationship. And I'm parsing out long distance because I can't begin to tell you how many women reach out to me and they go, I've been dating a guy for six months. I'm like, great, wow, that's fantastic. In my world, six months of dating would be, let's see, that's 26 weeks. And if you saw each other, that's 75 times you probably have been in each other's company in six months, 75 times. Or let's give him, we'll even be a little less generous. We'll say 50 times, 50 times. She's six month relationship. They go, how many times have you seen each other? She'll say twice. Well, then I immediately, I go, is this a long distance relationship? Yeah. And I go, do you talk on the phone? Oh yeah, we talk on the phone every day. I'm like, great. You don't have a real relationship. You have a pen pal. That's what that is, okay? All you have is a pen pal, a virtual buddy. That's all it is. Because if you're not building the roots to trust through social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, it's gonna be increasingly hard to take this long distance into something more substantial. So going back to, but love will solve this Jonathan because we love each other. We just love each other so much. Now, you're just attached in an unhealthy way because people that choose these, I don't see you, but once every six months kind of relationships here, it's the definition of insanity from my opinion or in my opinion. Anyway, Lisa, thanks for the post. Yes, love is not enough. I agree. All right, let's keep going here. If you have a question or purchase a super sticker, all right. Jill says, I'm reading four books now, just started the Hoffman process. Folks, I'm gonna talk about this probably again in this screen, the Hoffman process. This is a deep dive in your childhood wounds and traumas, childhood wounds and traumas to heal negative patterns and limiting beliefs. This is a must read book if you ever want to have any chance of a juicy, delicious, healthy relationship with another human being. I highly recommend reading that book. Good for you, Jill, way to go. By the way, folks, you might notice these pictures right here. Now, if you've been astute and a couple of people have asked about this lady or a couple of ladies have asked about this, every video I have about 50 of these, what's called mixed tiles, mixed tiles. Okay, here. Just to show you, it's just a picture my son and I took on camera and it's the backings like this. There's a sticker, I use a hook because I don't want that sticker coming on and off. But I bought about 50 of these and I change it every video. Yes, I just want you to all know that. I do that because I just like to mix it up. I know I could sit in another place but this just happens to be the best place for lighting and everything. So I just wanna share that with you. All right, I'm gonna put your name. So A-B, question. What's a good way of finding a good quality man? I can't deal with online dating, it's nuts. All right, so 90% of most people are meeting through an online connection today. Bumble, Hinge, match.com, OKCupid, just the name of few. So my question for you is how often does a single eligible man see you in your daily life? How often does that happen? I'm gonna tell you, I work from home. I walk on the beach. I don't see any single eligible women that I'm aware of. So here's the challenge is how are you going to get seen, seen by someone? How do they know you're single and eligible? How do you know they're single and eligible? So where are the places to meet? Great question. I have no fucking clue. I could give you a lot of bullshit answers like a lot of my contemporaries do. You can go to meetup groups because that's really a great place to meet people's meetup groups. How exciting is that? You can join seminars. Yeah, occasionally there's a hit, there's an occasional chance of meeting someone at going to a personal development seminar, a self-help seminar. Now, church might be a good place for those people who are churchgoers. That's actually a possible good place but you probably know everybody at your church so you've exhausted everyone there. You could get fixed up on blind dates by friends but how often do blind dates really work out? You can contact a matchmaker and drop 10 or 20 grand for a less than 1% chance of success. I mean, that's one other option. But the reality is, is unless you're around single eligible people and after age, after college, it's almost non-existent except at the workplace. And look what happens with workplace issues. Do we even want to touch the whole sexual harassment issue of flirting with someone at work? That's a clusterfuck if I've ever heard anything these days. And by the way, it used to be 50 years ago that was the predominant place to meet your mate. In the 60s, the number one place to meet your mate after college was the workplace. I'm gonna put my phone on silent so bear with me. So can you see why we're having challenges? So to answer your question, I could blow a bunch of smoke up your ass or I could say, look, become proficient at learning how to pre-qualify your prospects through an online dating methodology. That's what I teach. How to pre-qualify your prospect. How to define who's really compatible with you. How to ask the right questions to determine compatibility and not how to ask the right questions, teaching you the right questions to ask. And furthermore, how to find out if they're emotionally mature. And if you need some support on that, check out the link to a free discovery call in the description. That's what I do for a living. I teach you how to do this. By the way, today is Memorial Day here for those folks in the United States. And honestly, I did a little bit of exercise this morning. I did a little bit of work this morning. I had lunch with my son and I said, you know what, I got nothing else going on. How about I talk to you tonight? Oh, I did go shopping for a car yesterday, but I just thought why not talk to all of you because I love connecting with you all. And I wanna thank you all for your love and support. So, A.B., I hope I answered your question. Thank you so much. Let's see what else we have. You are the prize. Men are undervalued like this is so messed up. Oh my God, so Marawa, thank you so much. This whole bullshit narrative that all you women, you're the queen and you're the prize. That sets you up for princess energy, for princess energy. That I'm here to say is if you want a king, you better treat him like a king. If you wanna be treated like a queen, then you have to start thinking like, how am I gonna treat him as a king? And this is where the stupid fucking, this book, the rules, add to that feminine energy coaching is destroying your ability to actually connect with good healthy men because the reality is, is men wanna be treated like kings at the same level you want to be treat like queens. But sadly, you're being taught stupid bullshit rules that is all princess energy. Princess energy is daddy, take care of me and find me the right prince charming. That's what princess energy does. That's what entitle energy does. And I can tell you, I have no desire to date a princess. Any woman who's not willing to invest commensurate to my investment in the dating process isn't gonna go at a third date with me. I need to be with a woman who says, you know what, Jonathan? I really appreciate you taking me out to dinner the other night. In fact, I wanna show you my appreciation by treating you because I think you're valuable. That's the kind of communication that men and women should be saying to each other. When a man invests in a woman, a woman should want to invest in a man. But no, I'm a princess. I just sit back in my feminine energy and lean back and let him do all the work. Well, how is all this leaning back in your feminine working for you? Now, let me just say this. I'm all in favor of being empowered. This is why when I wrote my book, What the Heck Is Self-Love Anyway, it's to empower an individual. But I wanna encourage you ladies to start becoming this, how to be an adult in a relationship. And by the way, I want men to do this too. And it has to start from the very early on in the dating process. This is why I highly recommend reading the book if the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated. By the way, there's a link to Jonathan recommends book. Why I love this book is it teaches you how to date from a non-gender expectation. Non-gender expectation. It's the expectation. The one of the biggest challenges that most women have is they have expectations of men that they're not willing to do the same for. And this is where it's fucking this. I get angry at this because here's the issue I have. When you expect something from another human being, instead of leading by example, you're a taker. You're a taker. That's my opinion. Not a receiver, a taker, if it's an expectation. Now I wanna say something about masculine and feminine energy here, okay? Cause this relates to this prize. Masculine is doing and feminine is receiving, okay? But a healthy human being gives and receives, gives and receives, gives and receives. It's a two lane street. That's what a healthy human being does. So if you're not willing to invest, commensurate, that's why I said, I know my worth. I want a woman who goes, you know what? I see your worth, Jonathan. I'm gonna invest commensurate to how you invest. Matthew Hussey calls it invest and test, invest and test. That's what I do. I invest and then I wait to see if they meet me in effort and if someone doesn't meet me in effort, then, oh, well, I guess I'm narcissistic because that's what this woman said in the previous comment that I must be a narcissist. You know what? If you tell a person who lost a child, they're a narcissist, I wanna say fuck you, okay? Fuck you because you know what? Nothing brings you more humbles you as losing a child and I've been there and I am there, okay? And the empathy I've had to endure, not endure, but to the empathy I've given both myself and everyone around me. I've had so many people say to me, Jonathan, I can't believe your strength. You persevere through one of the toughest challenges in life and not from a place of see me, see me, see me. I'm here to wanna change people's lives and for someone to call me a narcissist, fuck you. Okay, I'm done. I apologize. I shouldn't have went off on that ramp but that's how I feel. All right, that's why it's messed up. Thank you, Marwan. All right, Rebecca, thank you for the super sticker. Go into Connor's foundation. Thank you. Lisa says, we all have an ego. Yes, I have an ego. I am righteous and I'm arrogant at times but I also have a tremendous amount of empathy and furthermore, a truly emotionally healthy person who knows how to apologize and change their behavior. And I can tell you, I don't think a week goes by where I don't have to apologize for something I've done and I take ownership of it because I stick my foot my mouth considerably. Sometimes I'm in my head and I'm not thinking that's what ego does. But a person that takes ownership is someone who actually is not a narcissist when they take ownership in their behavior. So yes, thank you, Lisa. And yes, what a dumb bitch, thank you. All right, well, Jennifer says arrogant or confident. Well, you know, there's a, I'm gonna say there's a kind of a, okay, I recognize I have a little bit of righteous behavior so I feel that about myself. It's kind of a weird mix but ultimately what I think is most important as I'm calling myself out as arrogant and righteous is most importantly is do I take ownership? And I'd like, and believe me, I don't know anyone who takes as much ownership as their shit as I do. You should talk, I have a committee of people I talk to on a regular basis, it's my committee. And we talk about our shit to one another. And most of my friends say, Jonathan, I can't believe how you've progressed over the years. It's because of these books. You don't see it right now, but all these books, look it, I'm gonna show you. Can you see? There's those books right there. There's books here. There's books there. So this is why when I shoot my live streams, all these books are handy, okay? By the way, my cup today, swear a little, you'll feel better. Thank you so much, Jennifer. Swear a little, you'll feel better. All right, don't listen to garbage about men not being apprised. That sounds like some feminist talking point. So actually I think feminists are actually some of the best women to date because you know what they actually, because they are just a perspective. But what I appreciate most about it, it's like, look, they understand that the relationship process is a two lane street. It's not the patriarchal method of one up, one down that men are above women. So I'm not discounting what you're saying, Marwa. I just wanna say, I actually think feminists understand that a relationship is a two way street, more so than that feminine energy princess energy that says men are the chivalrous one and they must, by the way, think of the term, they must claim you. We claim property. We don't claim another human being. That's why I can't stand that rhetoric. All right, I'll just share what Lisa says. That woman is a narcissist and she's projecting. I felt that way. And if you're watching this, you heard how I felt. You know what? Okay, Anna, you're absolutely right. Now you're judging her. I'm gonna own that I did. I'm angry. I'm angry for being, look it. I understand sticks and stones may break my bones. I got angry. I just don't appreciate when someone says something about someone that they don't know. Here's my thing, my friends. I am full, if someone wants to look me in the eye and say something to me based on knowing me, no problem with that. But you know, when you watch one video and call someone out based on that, that's where I drew the line. So, but yes, Anna, I'm gonna, see, here's a perfect example. I am owning that I'm judging her. I will absolutely take ownership of that. And that's why I said, look it. This is anger coming out. But this is the anger I want everyone to experience about. What I mean by anger is get angry about this stuff. And what I mean is start doing the work, inner work, to start shoring yourself up. And what I will tell you this, Anna, in the past, a comment like that would have beat me up for five days. I would have lamented for five days. Now it's only one day old. So I guess I'm still angry at it, but I really didn't let it eat me up inside. And I just went off on a tirade just because I wanted to show an example of what I think is, what I think is sometimes bad behavior, but I will own that I judge it. I take ownership of that. But thank you for calling me out. I appreciate it. So, what other questions do we have? Well, we're getting a lot of negative comments. So I guess my rant didn't go over so well today, but I thank you for that. Way to go, owning your truth and anger, righteous anger. I'm gonna own it. I will absolutely listen, folks. I have no problem being called out if someone, look it, I have no problem with someone calling me out. It's one thing to be, so here's the thing. I have no problem with saying, hey, don't you think you're being judgmental? That's a great thing to invite someone, okay? When we point a finger at someone, we have to be careful of those three fingers pointing back and I will take ownership when I did, by the way, I'm so glad this happened in this live stream, okay? I'm glad that I cursed, I'm glad I did everything because it illustrates a point. We are all human beings doing the best we can and sometimes we get triggered and I got hugely triggered, okay? I'm gonna own it, okay? That's what personal development teaches you, how to be aware of your own shit. In fact, if you're not familiar with the book, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, I highly recommend reading this book. It teaches you how to talk to the voices in your head and obviously in this particular live stream, I allowed myself to get triggered. So awareness is, okay, so I got, so this is a great example, this is so great. I got triggered, I then, someone called me out, I owned it, okay? That's what awareness is, is owning your shit, okay? Calling yourself out, that's when you reach a level of emotional maturity, when you recognize, hey, I stepped into the hole. I stepped into the quicksand. I'm gonna own, I stepped in the quicksand when I went off on the rant with that person. So I'm gonna own that. That's what awareness is. How often do you catch yourself when you step in the hole of righteousness, of arrogance because, look it, so ironic that I was talking about it and sure enough I showed up that way. So I'm so grateful to be able to illustrate this to all of you. Can you recognize why it's so important to do this work so we can catch ourselves? And truthfully, if you're in relationship with someone and you can call yourself out and be aware, you're going to have a more harmonious, juicy, delicious relationship with another. But yes, thank you so much, Ms. Lynn, I appreciate that. Jane says, Leo's have a lot of qualities, no point in expecting them to keep, celebrate what you are, don't complain about what they're not. Label makers just do their own. Again, thank you, I really appreciate that. I agree, feminists are better than feminine theorists. I've never heard of feminine theorists, but what I appreciate about the feminist, the original feminist movement was designed to push for equality with men and women in the workforce, but also an equality and a level of life and parity is important to have that level. It's about being in balance. It's not about what, so throughout history we've been in what's known as a patriarchal society. Men are here, women are here, okay? What I think the feminist movement was trying to create some level of parity. So there wasn't, and it wasn't just about relationships it's every area of your life, because ultimately what's most important is we treat each other like human beings, not based on our gender, but by the quality of our character, by the quality of our heart. This is why if you haven't read the book, Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, this is the CD version, but I'm telling you, I encourage you to do this work to heal on oneself, because this narrative of we're pitting up against men against women is not healthy. How about we just treat each other as loving human beings? I'm gonna share with you, if you approach it from that perspective you have a greater chance for success in relationship. Can I please get an amen to that? Okay, Rebecca writes, I've been dating my man for over a year. We are exclusive, but he has never invited me to his home or introduced me to his family, should I break up? Well, first off, let's address the fact he hasn't introduced you to his family or his home, and then let's address the break up. Here's the thing, first here's some of the questions I have for you. Do you want a casual relationship or do you want a fully committed relationship? So first you have to, because if you're in a casual relationship and you're okay with it, then you don't need to go into someone's home or introduce a family. You have companionship, connection and sex. That's what's known as monogamous and exclusive, I'm gonna assume, but that's what's known as stable ambiguity. Esther Perel, who wrote the book, Mating and Captivity, calls it stable ambiguity. What that means is it's stable from the level of it's monogamous and exclusive. It's ambiguous to the future. Here's my feelings, folks. You shouldn't go much more than three months at best before you actually, first off, you should go to someone's home. Right around the time you're having sex, you need to see where they live. Before the penis goes inside the vagina, you should want to, at least before it goes in on a regular basis, you wanna see their home. Do they live like a hoarder? Do they live like a pig? Do they live in a shack? Do they live like a pig? Do they live in a shack? Do they live with their parents? Like I did for a period of time. And not introducing your kids is not building a root in the relationship. Now, should you break up? That's not the solution. That's certainly one option. How about talking to them about it and saying, look, I don't wanna continue this relationship until I see your home, until I meet your family. And if you don't wanna do that, then I don't think I can be in relationship with you. That's my invitation. I'd ask it that way. Because you shouldn't have to wait a year to go to someone's home. In fact, I once went to a woman's home. Okay, I'm gonna be honest. This was a second date. We went back to her place for sex. And when I walked in, oh my God, she was a hoarder. She had stacks of clothes on the staircase. And it was like, it was like walking into a packed warehouse. I was so grossed out by it. The swimming pool had green algae. I mean, dark green algae. She didn't have, I was like, I'm shocked she even invited me over. I can't believe she wasn't embarrassed. It was grotesque. Now, is that a judgment? I'm just pointing out what it looked like to me. So that's not a judgment of her. I'm just telling you what it felt like to me, okay? But I can't be with someone like that. I mean, not that I'm the cleanest person on the planet, but gosh, clothes on the staircase. And I mean stacks of clothes on each, oh my gosh. So yes, you need to go to a person's home and you need to meet their children. Otherwise, I don't think it's gonna have legs. And that's my invitation for you. All right. Thank you, great question. Where is that? Thank you so much. You know what's interesting? You are better than John Gray. Listen, John Gray wrote a famous book called Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus and talks about the differences between how men and women operate. Men need their space, they need their cave time, women need to talk and talk and talk about their problems. And that's a generalization. And quite frankly, what's missing in his book is childhood wounds and traumas, adult traumas, what's missing from his book, love attachment style, the amago, which is why we choose our parents over and over again. And so it's based on the chemical aspects of men and women and neglects the most important piece of why there's a challenge in dating, mating and relating today, and that is emotional maturity. This is why I continually recommend this book, the Hoffman process. This is a grand step to developing your emotional maturity along with understanding the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. And this is why you should be following John Gottman's and Julie Gottman's work, eight dates, eight dates, because if you don't understand them, that's why, listen, I respect John Gray's accomplishments and I understand why his book is so popular because it gives you a very restricted perception of men and women, but it's missing the biggest point. Why are relationships so fucking dysfunctional today is because human beings are dysfunctional. And if people don't know how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way, the biggest, by the way, most marriages end because of money and sex, but that's not the real issue. Most relationships end because they don't know how to resolve conflicts. And those conflicts typically happen because people aren't sharing the same values, they don't have a blend of a lifestyle and it's because of that lack of emotional maturity. By the way, if anything is resonating here, please hit that thumbs up button, hit that like button, I'd really appreciate it. Because I'm here to say, it's so much more than just biology, there's so much more, it is about personality and our personality is a reflection of our wounds and traumas, that's what creates our negative patterns and limiting beliefs in our lives. Anyway, I hope, thank you so much for you, I appreciate that. Lisa says, yes, treat each other with love and respect, I agree. Marwa says, Rebecca, that guy is hiding something from you. You know what, I didn't even go into that realm. What is he hiding from you? What is he hiding from you? Yeah, when someone doesn't wanna invite you to their home, they're hiding something. I don't know what it is, but that's probably what it is. Thank you Marwa for bringing that up. Wendy says, amen, love your honesty. Amen, Pat says. Maria says, amen, Julie says, amen. I agree, I love your comments. Pat, he has a question to answer, ask him why. Samantha says, reprove not scorn her. Least he hate the rebuke a wise man and he'll love thee. I don't know what that means. I'm sorry, I just, I don't understand the languaging, so please forgive me. All right, cutie, or cookie writes, cookie cute, cookie cute. My partner is shy, I love that about him. I watch him as years pass by learn express himself amazingly. Is there any advice to keep this going? He's so happy now and I'm so shy, guys aren't talked about. So there's a great book I think everybody should read and it's by Barbara DeAngelis called How to Make Love All the Time, How to Make Love All the Time by Barbara DeAngelis. Why I recommend this book is I believe if couples follow what's in this book, they have the greatest chance for relationship success if they follow and model what's in this book. Both people reading the book together and saying how can we build an amazing relationship? And if you wanna piggyback on that book, I highly recommend reading this book, Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukoff, Spiritual Partnership, A Journey to Authentic Power. This is a great book for couples to read together. Folks, human beings spend more time brushing their teeth, taking a shower, getting, putting makeup on, putting on cologne, getting their ear wax, they're getting, taking ear wax out of their ears, clipping their nose hairs than they do on personal development. That the average human spends so little time on personal development, self-help and spiritual work that it causes them to be, to suffer one of the greatest challenges that most people suffer and that's a lack of self-love, that feeling of I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable, I'm not likable. Emotional maturity is why most relationships fail. The lack of emotional maturity by men and women alike. It's not men, it's women too. This is why doing the work prepares you because here's what's gonna happen when you do this work. You're not gonna go out with the wrong men as frequently as you do and you're not gonna use chemistry as your indication of relationship success. You're gonna, chemistry's important, don't get me wrong, but it's not an indicator of relationship success. So I'm here to say, if you wanna change the narrative, start by doing the work and then lead by example, lead by example and if you're investing and they don't match your investment, then maybe it's not the right relationship for you. And as I wrote in my book, chapter one, speak your truth, do it with kindness. And chapter nine, if it's sincere and from the heart, you can never say the wrong thing to the right person. Cookie, cute, thank you so much, great question. All right, let's see what else we have. I forgive myself and move on. You know, I'm gonna be, thank you for bringing this up and folks, I'm feeling a little embarrassed right now. I cursed at a person because I was angry and I took ownership of it, but I'm also feeling embarrassed. Actually, I forgot to forgive myself. So I wanna teach you all a forgiveness prayer. And if you're not familiar with the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer, forgiveness means forgiving love, for giving love, forgiveness, for giving love. It's not about absolving someone of behavior because giving love starts by giving love to oneself. So the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer, also known as the Haponoponoponopono goes like this. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. Like a shot of B12, the forgiveness prayer is a shot of L12 or love. And I have to take that right now because after I got called out on my behavior, I felt very ashamed. I'll be candid with you, I felt ashamed in that moment. And now for the reminder, I have to forgive myself because look at, we're all human beings. We're gonna make mistakes. I take full ownership of my rant. I just need to get out and I appreciate you listening to me, but I'm gonna take ownership from it. And I also have to forgive my shame of going on a rant. So thank you so much, I appreciate that. Okay, Iris says, stable ambiguity sucks for me at least, I agree. Perrell is a genius, read her books, I agree. Now we're talking about an arc, clue not introducing friends. I don't know if that's a sign of narcissism, but it's certainly a sign of hiding something. Montesquai, why would a man never invite you to his home? Great question, we gotta find that out, Rebecca. Pat says, thank you, Pat, I appreciate that. Michael says, her, okay, you are seriously the sweetest, can I keep you my response like in a cage, probably not in handcuffs. All right, let's keep it cleaner, Michael, a nice six-pack abs pitch. Oh, you know what? I just read something, hold on a second. Where did Lisa's comment go? So Lisa wrote a comment, he could be married, Rebecca. That's it, I forgot to even include that one. That's a good, that's a possibility, he could be married. Lisa writes, lots of women are scared to even ask questions, why is that? If you lose him afterwards, he wasn't right for you. Lisa, thank you again. In my book, chapter nine, if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. Ladies, stop being afraid of asking questions. When you don't ask questions, you're giving your power to a man and believe me, you don't wanna give your power to a man. You wanna retain your sovereignty, your self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence. Hold it within yourself, don't give it away. And when you don't ask questions, you're giving your power away. When you don't get clarity on confusion, which requires you to ask questions, you're giving up your power away. When you don't get clarity when there's confusion and you don't ask questions, you're giving your power away. Karen writes, okay, the comment you read immediately say you did not understand was a Bible verse. The person who posted it, not me ever quoted a chapter verse, but you skipped right over it. I'm sorry, yeah, I probably did. I just didn't understand the languaging of it. So thank you. Cookie writes, I'm trying to learn about shy guys because I've never gave a shy guy a chance before, but after dating one for four years, I just love him so much. Great, how's that working for you? Like Dr. Phil says. Judith writes, marriage is a legal document that secures the relationship, but shared genuine commitment is the real deal. So shared genuine commitment. Okay, so this is where what is commitment? Besides monogamy and exclusivity, what is commitment? By the way, I invite you to answer that question because I got to tell you something and I've shared this in previous live streams. I've had a woman, I had this one in particular that stands out. She calls me up. She's in a relationship with a guy for nine months and says, Jonathan, I want more commitment out of the relationship. I'm like, and they're monogamous and exclusive. I'm like, great, what does that look like for you? Well, Jonathan, I just want more commitment from him. I'm like, great, what does that look like for you? But Jonathan, I just want more commitment from him. I'm like, great, what does that look like for you? But Jonathan, I just want more commitment as if saying it louder was actually describing it. The loudness, and I know I yell, so I get it, wasn't describing what she wanted. So here's the thing. Marriage is the ultimate commitment because it's an agreement and it's in paper. But besides monogamy and exclusivity, what commitment is there? Now, maybe living together, that's a commitment. Sharing expenses together, that's a commitment. Investing in property together, that's a commitment. Being in each other's business, that's a commitment. But are people actually doing that? No, because we're on the rise of casual relationships. And as I said, in the beginning of this live stream, I said this is the biggest problem in relationships is that there are enough, people aren't developing the roots to commitment and all their relationships are casual. And what that means is you can leave whenever you want. And most people are in dysfunctional relationships. If 50% of marriages end in divorce and the balance of them are unhappy anyway, most people are choosing dysfunctional relationships. And listen, I know you can listen to those dating coaches that got married in their 30s and they're all happy with their babies and everything. I wanna see what's gonna happen to all these happy little couples that got married in their 30s when they hit 50 and some of them start going through a divorce. And I'd like to see how fucking well they do in the dating realm when they hit their 50s and they see the dysfunctionality of human beings because they all live in their little bubble of fantasy and they're selling this whole narrative based on how they met their mate. And I know it sounds cute and fun. It's giving you a little bit of hope. Maybe I'm not giving you hope. That's because I want everybody to do one thing first. Esther Perrell says the quality of our life is predicated on the quality of our relationships. And it starts with the relationship with self. Please, everybody do this. Do the work of all the books I recommend. Read the books, Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks. Read the book, Attached by Amir Levine. Read the book, Five Love Languages and definitely read the book, The Four Agreements. The Four Agreements. By the way, there's a link to all the books because that's the real problem today. It's not the fantasy that most people are suckling on. It's that most humans haven't done the inner work to be in a healthy, happy relationship with themselves. I want to tell you something. I get email after email from my anytime I shoot a podcast and I'm getting messages. Jonathan, I've been following you for months and you're making a difference in my life. Jonathan, I've been following you for months. Making a difference in my life. I'm doing the work. I'm going to a therapist. I'm reading the books. I'm going to workshops. I'm learning, I'm studying, I'm watching everybody and I'm noticing a difference. In fact, one of my clients who went through my six week boot camp, by the way, I have this amazing six week boot camp that will change your life to teach you how to vet for that emotional maturity, how to ask the, what questions to ask to determine compatibility and then creating that picture of compatibility for you. And this one woman went through my boot camp and we wrapped up in February and we've been doing ongoing coaching, life coaching since then. So it's been March, April, May, three months. And the other day she just called me out of the blue and she goes, Jonathan, this is all this work we're doing together is sinking in. And I can't begin to thank you. She says, I'm no longer triggered as much as I used to be and I'm finding myself happier with more inner peace, happier and with more inner peace. Would everyone like more inner peace? That's my invitation for you because the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship today. It's not whether you find a mate, it's not about men are wrong and women are wrong or men are bad and women are bad. It's about how can I find the relationship within myself and that's my invitation for everybody. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please hit that like button. Maria says, amen. Nora says, love the four agreements, yes. Roller Girls says, I love the Buddha. If the Buddha dated, yes. Lisa writes, the thing is that midlife people have been beaten down by bad relationships. Yes, yes, yes. Folks, let me just tell you something. You go out on a first date. You don't have, there's no chemistry. You go out with someone else a few days later. There's no chemistry. You go out with someone else. You have chemistry and you make out and then you go home and you never hear from the guy again. And then you go on another date and you meet a great guy and you start dating, but six weeks in he decides you're not the right one for him for whatever reason. And then you date a little bit more and you enter into a three or four month relationship only to have it crash and burn. And then you have a four year relationship and a two month relationship and this and that. That all affects our self-worth, our self-esteem and self-confidence. Dating triggers the number one emotional health issues people are facing today. And that is a severe lack of self-love. And so going out on experience after experience, like I told you, the woman who went out on 50 dates, you can't tell. And by the way, she's a little bit, I suspect there's a little bit of bitterness and jadedness to that. By the way, she's not just one example. I talked to a woman in a 20 year period. She said she had over a thousand first dates. Can you believe that a thousand first dates in a 20 year period? How many is that, 50 a year? Yeah, 50 a year. I don't know if her thousand was accurate, but oh my God. And by the way, she's been single for 20 years. She's in her 50s, she got divorced in her 30s. You can't tell me that's not gonna wear on your emotional health? Hell yes. Mm. Thank you, great post. Cookie writes, Jonathan, thank you so much. I appreciate that very much. Julie writes, this is why we have you Jonathan to teach us and share with us. Thank you. Lillian writes, commitment and understanding that you'll be there to meet a lot of the needs of one another. Okay, an understanding. But you can understand and change your mind at any given time. So what are going to be the roots besides understanding? Give me another example besides understanding that's going to be a root that's gonna keep you committed to one another. That's my invitation for you. And by the way, if you need support on that, that's what I teach in my private coaching. Lisa says, I don't listen to coaches in their 30s anymore. Ladies, the reason why I'm a thank you, the reason why I'm a midlife coaches, I've been through alimony, child support, visitation rights, family court, custody issues, just to name a few. I've got erectile dysfunction, I date women who have menopause, you know, are going through menopause. I've gone through the whole gamut of people that have gone through divorces and marriages and everything else. When people in their 30s, they're in la-la land. Listen, I've been hardened by the steel, by fire. This is why I feel like my content is different. I'm not, by the way, folks, let me say one thing. I'm not saying any of what I'm saying is right. I'm sharing a perspective. You decide whether or not it resonates with you or not. Okay? Let me repeat that. You have to decide if it resonates with you or not. My content doesn't resonate with everyone. Look, I just went through a total rant. That could have undermined my credibility. Or maybe I'm demonstrating what a mature person does, is they own their shit. But nonetheless, it's because I'm in the crap in the mud like you that I understand it. Now, people ask, why are you single? Look, I just haven't met my person yet. That's all, just haven't met her yet. And sometimes it's harder for me because I know too much. I need coffee, chocolate, and hot kisses. All right, thank you. You're not yelling, you're just passionate about what you speak. Thank you, Marie, I appreciate that. All right, what other questions do we have? Inner peace, oh, right, neither have I. I was clicking on this one. Inner peace, yes, yes, yes, I agree. No says, we learn from it all what you say, how, why, when. I agree. So Jackie says, I think Jonathan, I think Jonathan and I need to create teamwork. Okay, got it. I thought you were gonna bring, what I thought this was about was teamwork. That's what builds commitment when you're actually part of a team with one another, that you're actually part of a team with one another. You're helping in your personal life, you're helping each other in your professional life, you're part of a team. And that's what I want everybody to shoot for is teamwork. Cookie writes, I don't watch the other coaches, they are a copy and paste of others. Learning toxic behavior, thank you. I tend to agree. Shannon writes, I think I want a serious relationship up deep down, I do not want to get married again. I don't even realize this consciously most of the time. Should I reveal this while dating? So Shannon, this is a great question. And I'll tell you everybody, when I got divorced, the last thing I wanted to do was remarry. In fact, I probably for 10 years I didn't want to remarry, that's why. And the last thing I wanted to do and I wasn't even in a position is to marry someone and become the provider protector. Now, what I mean by provider protector is to pay, not that I couldn't protect someone, but to be financially responsible for the relationship. I just wasn't even in a financial space. I got wiped out in the market crash, the one in 2008. So I've had to rebuild my life since then. Where was I going with this? So it's not uncommon to want to not get remarried. What changed for me is the understanding it is through true partnership. Look at this, look at this. It's hard to break my fingers apart. This, look at easy, look at that, easy. This is casual relationship, easily break apart. Partnership is like this, I have a hard time breaking it apart, I have to let go. So that's to me the benefit of marriage, just for me. My invitation, it doesn't have to be married, it can be living together, but ultimately creating roots together, spending time with family and friends, being part of each other's life from a teamwork perspective has a greater chance of success than that woman, Rebecca, who's with a man for a year and never introduced him to family in his home. What is he hiding? Thank you, great question, Shannon. Question from Amy Fay, Tina Fay, no, Amy Fay. Do you feel relationships are harder to manage when you're on a spiritual enlightenment? I'm gonna repeat that one more time. Do you feel relationships are harder to manage when you're on a path of spiritual enlightenment? No, in fact, I think relationships are much easier when two people, two people are on a spiritual, enlightened, personal development, self-help path. The challenge isn't that. The challenge is finding someone else that meets you in that capacity. I belong to a group, Joe Dispenza. Joe Dispenza wrote the book. Oh my God, Joe Dispenza wrote a book called Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. And I'm in a group called that it's for people who are single and follow Joe Dispenza. I think it's called Singles Who Follow Joe Dispenza. And I'm in the group and I posted a question. I asked the group, there's a couple thousand people in the group on Facebook. I said, would you date someone who doesn't do personal development work and over 200 comments, one after another, men and women alike says, I will not date someone who doesn't do personal development. I will not date someone who doesn't do personal development. I will not date. So, and because those who do personal development, self-help and spiritual work understands the importance of having someone else that can do it with you because that's what a spiritual partnership is. That's what a spiritual partnership is. So, the real challenge is finding someone. That's why one of the first questions I asked now before I ever meet a woman to go on a first date with, I say, what kind of personal development, self-help and spiritual work do you do on a daily basis? And then I shut up, listen, listen, listen, listen. Because I wanna hear what they've done to heal childhood wounds and traumas. Now, if they are dear in the headlights, then my guess is they probably aren't going to appreciate who I am and my lifestyle. That's just, by the way, I'm just describing me, Amy. I'm not saying this for anyone else. But that's kind of a prerequisite for me. Now, I talked to Ariel Ford. If you're not familiar with Ariel Ford, she's a personal friend of mine. She wrote the book, The Soulmate's Secret and Wabi Sabi Love. And she said, Jonathan, you might be pigeonholing yourself doing that because there's a lot of good people that haven't done personal development. But quite frankly, I've gone out with a lot of first dates of women who haven't done personal development. And their emotional maturity is so weak, it just literally shines the minute you meet them. And I gotta tell you, ladies, I've gone on first dates with so many women who walk into a restaurant or bar, they are literally have resting bitch face. The amount of hurt and pain so many women are carrying is bleeding over in their dating life now, where it's just such a toxic turnoff to meet someone who hasn't done the work to let go of their past. And if you haven't let go of your past, you're gonna repeat patterns over and over and over again. So, Amy, great question. And my response to that is, it's not the challenge of being in relationship with them, it's the real challenge is, how do you find them? And it's not about how do you find them, it's just, it's meeting them. And when you do meet someone and there's chemistry and you share the same values, you have blendable lifestyles, wham, take off. Oh, I forgot to mention one thing though. Some people are so deeply wounded that they need one or two lifetimes to heal. And sometimes that can be problematic too, but that's for another conversation. Anyway, great question, thank you so much. Amy Faye, thank you. Michael says, that's true, Jonathan, thank you. Someone says, yes, I agree, those dating apps are mostly fraudulent, men are not honest, so hard to meet them. Maria, I agree that there is a percentage of men and women that are lying, but the reality is 50% of all, 50% of all new, is it this way, 50% of all new relationships is happening through an online connection. Folks, it is the number one way to meet people these days. The trick is not, the issue isn't the internet. The issue is, do you know how to vet for emotional maturity? I gotta stretch my back. Do you not have vet for emotional maturity? That's the real issue, it's not the dating sites, the dating sites are simply a portal to meet people because the reality is is you're not meeting single eligible people in your daily life on enough frequency to actually get asked out on a date, ladies. I mean, what's gonna happen? The burglary that comes into your home who's gonna steal your TV says, hey, you're kind of cute, would you like to go on a date? That's your best chance because are you meeting single eligible people on a regular basis that are aligned to your values, to your lifestyle? If you are, great. If for those of you that get 10 men a day to ask you out, knock yourself out. I gotta tell you, I talk to women in their midlife and they're barely getting anyone to ask them out and that's even on the dating apps, but that's partially because they have crappy dating profiles. So I don't believe the problem is the dating apps. I believe the problem is people don't know how to vet properly. Even Rebecca says, I had decent luck on match. There you go. Jonathan, how do you get someone to communicate with you when they don't want to? It's part of what's killing my marriage. So I highly recommend reading the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. This will teach you how to language your communication in a much healthier way. But ultimately, if your partner doesn't want to communicate with you, I would encourage you to both go to therapy and the therapist's job is to help you communicate with one another. But if, you know, I can't change someone else. All you can do is show up and lead by example. But if they don't want to meet you, do you really want to be with them? And I know this is tough when we're married to people who probably are not aligned to us. This is a real challenge. But the way I look at it, there's no, look, I can't blow smoke up your ass and give you some, just sitting in your feminine energy and it'll just magically work out because men feminine leaning back will just make him, he's gonna run and run and claim you. Look at, you could, you know, you could take off for a week and see if he even notices you're gone. That's one way to see. You know, sadly, sometimes people don't appreciate another human being until they've actually left. That's a sad reality or God forbid someone gets hurt. It's so sad that we don't appreciate one another. Look at folks, you know I lost a son. I always thought he would be there for the rest of my life. And while I'm grateful for the time we spent together, I have so much regret for not doing better all those years that both of them were at that age. You know, we don't get to get that back. So either, does anyone remember the movie Shawshank Redemption if you did post a comment? My favorite line is get busy living or get busy dying. Robin, get busy living or get busy dying. Either shake up this relationship and get it communicating together. If you have to go to therapy, if you have to read this book because it's a waste of energy to be with someone who doesn't wanna connect with your heart. Now, you might be in relationship of convenience and that's okay. That's okay, just tell him, you know what? Just tell him you're gonna take on a lover and see how he responds. That might be a good approach. Just say, hey look, I just wanna let you know I'm thinking about taking on a lover because you don't wanna communicate with me. I'm just giving you the heads up. I'm saying this tongue in cheek but there's some element of truth of that. Because look, maybe you need to be in this relationship for financial reasons but it doesn't mean you have to be romantically in relationship. I'm not advocating cheating. By the way, I'm endorsing just saying up front you're gonna do it. What I am saying is shake things up because doing the same thing over and over again is like a hamster wheel. That's all it is, a hamster's wheel. Shake things up or at least make an attempt to. Did that help, Robin? I hope it did. Rebecca says, don't put up with someone that doesn't communicate with you. I agree. I gotta sneeze in a second. Casey writes, my boyfriend is moving back into his mom's house to save money. I decided to rent an apartment on my own instead as I don't think this dynamic will work. How do I talk from the heart? You just did. You just did right there. Just say, you know what? I just, you just simply say this doesn't feel like it's gonna work and then talk. Talk to one another to just talk from the heart. You know what from the heart sounds like? It's calm. It's quiet. It's peaceful. Lean into your heart. This relationship has me uncertain and I don't see where our plan is. And if we don't have a plan, it makes it very difficult to feel trust and when there's no trust, it's hard to surrender emotionally to this relationship and I don't mean surrender from an unhealthy way. So have a conversation, speak softly from the heart and see how he responds. Maybe you'll have a good conversation from it, but give that a shot, Casey. Thank you so much. Cookie says, don't force someone to communicate if they don't want to. You know, sometimes you have to force people to communicate when they don't want to because non-communication doesn't help either. You have to learn and choose and pick your battles, but here's the thing, my friends. Unhealthy relationships are dysfunctional and dysfunctional relationships are unhappy relationships and unhappy relationships make for an unhappy life. Get busy living or get busy dying. That's my invitation for you. Robin says, got it, sir. Thank you. Too many people live with their parents and I'd rather poke my eyes out. So Lisa, I'll be candid with you. In my mid-40s, when I lost all my money, I lost my quarter million dollar a year job with my tail between my legs. I had to move in with my mom and dad in a retirement home, my mid-40s. I used to live in a $2 million home. I had a quarter million dollar a year job and I got wiped out that fast. A lot of people that's happened to in the pandemic, look and think of this. So just understand is compassion goes a long way and understanding. This is why I take back what I said to that woman early herb because I was pissed because it's compassionate and understanding what matters most. That's my invitation for you anyway. Casey says, oh, thank you for that. I appreciate it. The problem is that I cry as soon as I do that. Thank you. Hey, crying is good. Cry, yes, open your heart up. Crying is breaking down the walls. That's a good thing to cry. Crying is opening your heart up. That's a healthy thing to do. So I wanna encourage you to do that, Casey. Thank you. All right. Live rights. Why am I still not over a 12 year relationship even though it ended six months ago? Well, six months ago isn't that long ago. I mean, if you said five years ago, I'd say grow up. But six months ago, it takes sometimes a good year, especially a 12 year relationship. It can take one to two years. So I want you to think about this. Your relationship is like a tapestry. The minute you unravel the tapestry, you might be broken up, but you're unraveling the tapestry of a relationship and it takes time to get into your sovereignty on your own. It's taken me, my significant relationship ended four years ago. Now, most of you know my story. I lost my mother six months after my significant relationship ended and then I lost my son Connor six months after. And for the last three years, I've been doing a deep dive into myself because I'm a recovering codependent. I'm a recovering codependent. I needed the time to heal myself. So there is some truth to time heals all wounds. Six months isn't that long for a 12 year relationship. I was in a 12 year marriage. And what did I do? I immediately started dating the minute, I moved out of the house, I was dating, dating, dating. I was dating, by the way, ladies, the reason why I can speak about dysfunctional men because I spent a decade being dysfunctional. This is why I can talk from that premise because I understand why men are commitment phobic, ghosts disappear, why men pull away. Because most likely the ground underneath them isn't solid, so it takes time to build that stability under your life and six months isn't that long. If you still feel that way a year later, then let's have a chat, but that's not uncommon. Take time to heal yourself. It takes time to unravel the tapestry. All right. Wendy says, I was also a codependent. We can relate. How many people can relate to being codependent? Post a comment below. Either you need someone else to love you for if you feel good about yourself or you need to love someone because you don't know how to have the power within yourself, post that. Cookie writes, you are such a kind soul after all you've been through. You keep going, that's what we need, someone that teaches us things with sincerity. Thank you, we love you. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Yvonne says, oops, Yvonne says, I can relate. All right, let's see what other things we have. Should we ask how long they've been divorced or emotionally detached from their ex? Hell yes. Do you know, I can't tell you how many women I speak to that are in relationships with men that are still married. They're literally, they haven't even filed for divorce yet. And that's usually problematic. So I'm here to say, yes, ask those questions early. By the way, my back is hurting, so I'm gonna stand up. But great question, thank you so much. If you have a question, post the word question and then write the question out. God, I gotta go pee too. But I don't wanna stop, I'm excited to do this tonight. Hannah writes, I'm a black Muslim female with a disability, how do I find a partner who won't judge me at first glance? I wear a head scarf and dress moderately, modestly. So this is a great question. So I'm gonna assume first off, you're Muslim, you probably want a Muslim man, but I don't know that to be the case, but if that's because you brought it up, I'm assuming there are certain values related to the Muslim religion that you would like someone who shares those values, number one. Now, as far as disability, I can tell you, I've worked with women in wheelchairs, I've worked with women who have had mastectomies, I've worked with women who are in crutches, I've even worked with women who have had some body dysmorphia issues. Oops, here's the thing, it's gonna be a challenge because 99 out of 100 men probably don't wanna date with someone with a disability. So this is why it's better to maybe go to your mosque or church or places where there's a group of people where you can connect with someone, not to suggest you can't be on a dating app because you can certainly do that, but I'd certainly wanna gather with more people who are more aligned to my values. And that's, and by the way, I'm working with a Muslim woman out of Australia, and this is what we talk about on a regular basis. She says I need to be with someone who understands my values, understands that I won't have sex until we're married, that's important to her. So the vast majority of English American, I'm thinking of American men, probably won't want that. And everybody's entitled to what they want, so that's okay. It's just you probably need to be in environment and my invitation is go to mosque and churches, places where you're going to meet someone who most likely shares your values. That's my best advice for you. And if I'm missing something, someone please post a comment because that's all that comes to mind right now. All right, let's see. If you have a question, post a question and write the word question and write your question thereafter. Lisa, write the pandemic fucked up a lot. I was homeless for three years because my family abandoned me. See, we've all had some issues and the pandemic didn't make things any easier. Thank you for sharing that with us, Lisa. We really appreciate it. And that's even tougher when your family abandoned you. How wrong is that? So I'm sending you a big, gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of love. Thank you for being transparent, honest and vulnerable. I really appreciate that. Someone says, Lisa, you're the star on tonight. All right, if you have a question, post the word question. Oops. Lisa writes, crying is cathartic, part of the healing process. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, here we go. Jonathan, go to the bathroom please. Someone wrote that, that's not right. Okay, Jonathan. Thank you, Jonathan. Guys in their fifties has interests, comes on strong, texting, then not reply back at times. So much in and out, in and out. We are dating. He's LD. Not sure what to say. How do I suggest handling this? I'm parsing this out. He comes on strong and then he pulls away. He's in his fifties, he has interests. We aren't dating. So you know what, Lace, or Vace, ask him out on the date. Say, hey, I'd like to take you out to dinner. I'd like to take you out for drinks and then shut up and see what he says. Because how he responds will give you the clue whether or not you should invest any more time with this. Make the effort, ask him to meet. Now a lot of you, a lot of the coaches will say, no, no, no, that's avoiding the rules because you're not supposed to do that. Look it, if you like the guy, listen folks, dating isn't dating. It's about getting to know another human being. Ladies, you can equally invest in the process of getting to know a other human being. Forget the dating bullshit. That's why when you read the book, if the Buddha dated, you will throw out such a nonsensical bullshit traditional crap taught by this book that you'll actually start having a better experience. That's my suggestion. Ask him out and see what happens. Does anyone disagree with me? Please let me know. No, actually don't let me know. I don't wanna hear it. Danielle writes, I rarely meet someone that I like. Is that normal? Yes, very normal. I mean, let's differentiate like because I meet people out in the street all the time. Could I like them? We like people who we know. The hard part, this Danielle, this is really folks, you have to listen to this, okay? Today in dating, we're meeting total strangers. We're meeting total strangers. And when there is stranger, we don't feel safe. And we don't feel safe. We can't open our hearts, oh, my armpit stains. We can't open our hearts to another human being. This is because everybody's a stranger and familiarity isn't, you know, sometimes it's like, you like sushi, me too. You like stand-up paddle board? Yes, I love it. Do you like the Rolling Stones? Oh, my favorite band, I've seen them five times. Actually, my favorite band is Joe Jackson. Stepping out, I'm the man. Does anyone know Joe Jackson? But I'm just stretching my back. So here's the thing. It's because you don't know them, they're strangers. That's why you don't like them. Think of the movie when Harry met Sally. When Sally first met Harry, she despised him. And then they ran into each other again and she still despised him. And they ran in together and they started to build a friendship. And when they built their friendship, they established roots together that eventually made them fall in love with one another. The reason why you're feeling this way is because you don't know them. Now oftentimes this is where we need chemistry to spark everything. And this is the dysfunction because we won't invest time in people that are good for us because there's no chemistry and then we invest time with people that there's chemistry but they're not good for us. Ultimately the real challenge is we're not investing time to get to know one another. And that's my invitation for you is to learn how to get to know another human being. And if you need some support on that, check out the link below to schedule a free discovery call with me. All right, let's see what else we have. Oops. Wendy, Joe Jackson, MTV days, yes. Melissa writes, I love Harry Metzali, me too, my all time favorite. Jonathan, how do men really feel about sharing a woman's love with her grown up kids? Sadie says, Jonathan, how do we men really feel about sharing a woman's love with grown up kids? This is a great question. So when two people marry and they procreate children, you love your spouses. The spouses love each other and they love their kids and they're a family unit. Now this is where it gets difficult. When you actually introduce children that are not our own, whether man or woman to each other, can we accept them? Can we accept that the children have love for them and whatnot? And I'm here to say is absolutely can love grow when two people choose to invest in one another and they invest their family and friends in the relationship love can grow. And when Connor passed away and I was reading his eulogy, I gave props to Connor's mom's boyfriend, even though they live together and they own property together, partner. Because Connor called him his stepdad, even though they're not married, he called stepdad. And I turned to him while I was giving the eulogy and I turned to him and I, first off, I'm gonna cry now. I thanked him so much for being a part of Connor's life. I thanked him so much for being there during his years and being a support person. And I'm grateful for that. And I can't tell you, he might've been the most devastated of all of us because he truly loved Connor. He and Connor were buds. Even though Connor and I had a great relationship, I'm very grateful, but he also had a stepdad even though that wasn't as technically a stepdad. He called him that, loved him so much. And to this day, I think he's hurting the most out of all of us, even though he's my child and my ex-wife's child. So not everybody can be like that. A lot of times men struggle with that, especially if they have their own children and they don't feel like they're giving. So some men, when they're dating a woman whose children have giving love to their parents, they feel a sense of feeling not inclusive. And other men, because they're not giving, so that means that they wanna give love to their own children. For some men, they don't give love to their own children so they pass it on to another's child. This is the real delicate challenge that we're dealt with dealing with when we are this Brady bunch where we're co-mingling lives together. And there's no one size fits all. So I can tell you, and I'm so grateful for Connor's stepdad, Adam. I'm grateful for his love of Connor. And again, he's hurting more than, I say this because he literally took this so terribly hard, we all did. And that's just a sign of love. And I'm grateful that he loved on my son. So going back to your original question, do men rarely feel this? It's hard, it's just a challenge, not all, but many men feel like there is a competition and it can get ugly and messy. And then some people embraced others' children like Connor's stepdad did. So thank you for allowing me to share that. Great question, Sadie. Thank you so much. All right, Jonathan, don't cry. Thank you. Any thoughts on open relationships? Carrie writes, any thoughts on open relationships? So I think open relationships is really just a sign for saying I don't wanna be committed with you and I wanna be able to fuck whenever I want. That's what open relationships means, feel like to me. I'm not a big proponent for it, for a couple reasons. A, I'm territorial. I mean, I don't want my partner to sleep with anyone else, number one. Number two, I don't wanna catch cooties. I don't wanna catch diseases and shit. So I'm very against someone sleeping with someone else, even if they use projection. And thirdly, I wanna build a juicy, delicious relationship with one partner. I know a couple who's been married 50 years and they still have regular sex together. After, they're in their 80s and they still plan one day a week called their love day where they're together sexually. And by the way, now this was a couple that used to be swingers at one time. So they're very experimental. Which I'm not a proponent from it, but they're dear friends of mine and they still make time to be intimate because what Esther Perel says, the reason why people are choosing Esther Perel who wrote mating and captivity, she says the real issues in relationships today is people have lost erotic desire, erotic desire. And most couples don't know how to create erotic desire once the initial flame has passed. This is why that couple that I just spoke of, they invest erotically, sexually, sensually with one another. They re-poetry to one another. They're intentional about their relationship. Ladies, stop giving your power away to men, expecting them to be the leaders of the relationship because you're all supposed to lean back and let men take the lead. Men are fucking clueless. But women are clueless too. So read all these books I recommend. Shore up that love on the inside. Learn how to be in a healthy, happy relationship. Read eight dates, read how to make love all the time. Read, are you the right one for me? Because then you're going to be in a better position because then you don't have to choose an open relationship to temporarily get a fix because your current relationship probably isn't all that erotic. That's just my perception. Not saying it's right, just my perception. Hope that helped. Okay. All right, Doug. And this will be the last question for the day. Question, for those older me who want remarriage, the traditional concept of a guy being the sole provider doesn't make sense to me. A partnership may work better at this stage of life. Thoughts. Thank you. So now for those older, so we're going to talk about the over 45 crowd who want to get remarried, the traditional concept of guy being the sole provider doesn't make sense to me anymore. Well, part of it is this, Doug. The reality is his most married couples are a two income family to begin with. Most married, by the way, 80% of the US population makes less than $100,000 a year. The average person makes less than $100,000 a year. By the way, I live in Southern California to raise two, to be just a two, just be two people in the same home. You got to make 150 grand. So we need two incomes. It's very, and by the way, for men who have alimony, child support, all that other stuff, it's very hard to do that. And there's a reluctance to do that if they felt they've been burned before. So a partnership work may work better. Absolutely. This is why, again, I come back to, if the Buddha dated, it talks about how to develop a partnership with one another. In fact, I have another book. Well, the book Eight Dates is another great book to teach you how to be in partnership in a relationship. So this is what I'd recommend, Doug, and I totally appreciate this question. Ladies, he's a great guy, and he's sharing with you how he feels. A lot of women go, well, then he's not a real man if he's not gonna provide and protect for his woman. Well, you know what? Don't complain about men if you're not willing to do the same. But Jonathan, I don't wanna be a nurse or a purse. I'm like, well, then are you expecting us to be the purse? We've got to stop this narrative of making money. Money is an opportunity to enhance your life. And when it's done mutually, you have a better chance of success. That's all. When it's done mutually, when it's done based on expectation, resentment shows up. So this is why I'm a believer in a two-lane street in a relationship. Give and receive, receive and give, give and receive. Thank you, Doug, I appreciate this question. Hey, listen, this is a live stream that's gone for an hour and 48 minutes. I can't believe I've gone this long. Let me hear your thoughts. How did I do tonight? Please let me know. Lynn writes, I make 100K and I agree with Doug. Thank you, Lynn, I appreciate that. KK says, what about if a guy wants a female to do the work to go see him? The guy needs to do his, basically invest equally in the relationship. I don't mean monetarily, I mean in effort. All right, Marguerite says, great. K.E. says, K.E. Song says, thumbs up. You are amazing, thank you. Kerry says, great, thank you. Jill says, great love, excellent as usual. Liv writes, amazing. Grace writes, why does it matter how much someone, how much money someone has? By the way, folks, I'm just gonna answer this and we're gonna wrap up for the evening. The reason why this important, it takes money to survive. We no longer have to kill the dinosaur, shoot our bow and arrow to get the buffalo. It takes money to survive. It is a foundational piece of a relationship. The book eight dates, look at this. Chapter, hold on a second. Chapter four, the cost of love, work and money. It's a, there's a whole chapter associated to it. Right here, the cost of love. It does take money to make a relationship work and to be naive. Folks, if 50% of divorces cite money as an issue, don't be naive to the importance of money. Can I please get an amen? All right, someone says, go to the bathroom please. All right, great time to wrap up. Kathy says, excellent live, thank you so much. All right, folks, I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart. If this resonated with you, hit that like button right now. If it resonated with you, please share this video with friends. If it resonated with you, subscribe to my channel. Check out the links to a free discovery call. My group, The Midlife Love Mastery. My book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway and all the other books in my podcast, the What Would Love Do podcast. And from the bottom of my heart, I wanna thank you so much for being on tonight, Memorial Day. I'm gonna be back tomorrow. Actually, tomorrow's Memorial Day. I'm probably gonna come back tomorrow. So, from me to you, thank you so much. I wanna wish you a fabulous evening. We're gonna sign up as we always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic shot and bear a hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love, if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give it, hold that thought for one second. Hold that thought for one second. Here's my stuffed animal, Salty, after Connor, because his nickname is Salty. And here's a teddy bear from a gift from a client. There's a crystal heart inside here. I think that was blessed by Shaman. So when I said, give yourself a pet, a teddy bear pillow, a hug, give one a hug. And I'm wishing you all a super-duper, wonderful, fantastic evening. Bye-bye now.