 chapter 14 of the heavenly twins. This is LibriVox Recording. All LibriVox recordings are in public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Weber Bansal. The Heavenly Twins by Sarah Grant. On the third day after he went in his wedding in the afternoon Mrs. Gautenbeck was sitting alone in her long low drawing room by the window which looked out into the high vault garden. She had her slender hands folded upon her lap. Her large dark luminous eyes and delicate refined features all set in a wishful sadness. There was a singular likeness between herself and Venevedne in some things. A vague haunting family likeness which continually obturates itself but could not be defined. It had been more distinct when Venevedne was a child and would doubtless have grown greater had she lived with her aunt. But the very different mental attitude which she gradually acquired had melted the resemblance as it were so that at 2019 although her slender figure and air and carriage continually recalled Mrs. Gautenbeck who was then in her 35th year. The expression of her face was so different that they were really less alike than they had been when Venevedne was four years younger. Venevedne's disposition it must be remembered was essentially swift to act. She would as as human being have her periods of strong feeling but that was merely a physical condition in no way affecting her character and the only healthy minded happy state for her was the one in which thought instantly translated itself into action. With Mrs. Gautenbeck it was different. Her spiritual nature predominated. Her habits of mind were dreamy. She lived for life to come entirely and held herself in constant communion with another world. She felt it near her she said. She believed that its inhabitants visit the earth and take cognizance of all we do and suffer. And she cherished the certainty of one day assuming a wondrous form and entering upon a new life as vivid and varied and as real as this but far more perfect. Her friend were chiefly of her own way of thinking but her faith was so profound and the charm of her conversation so entrancing that the hardest-headed materialists were apt to feel strange delicious thrills in her presence. Foreboding of possibilities beyond the test of reason and knowledge and they would return time after time to dispute her conclusions and argue themselves out of the impressions she had produced but only to relapse into their former state of blissful sensation so soon as they once more found themselves within range of her influence. Opinions are germs in the moral atmosphere which fasten themselves upon us if we are predisposed to entertain them. But some states of feeling are a perfume which every sentient being must perceive with emotions that vary from extreme repungence to positive pleasure through diverse intermediate strata of lively interest or mere passive perception and the feeling which emanated from Mrs. Autenberg is one that is especially contagious. For in the first place the beauty of goodness appeals pleasurably to the most depraved to be elevated above themselves for a moment is a red light to them and in the second there is a deeply implanted leaning in the heart of man towards the something beyond everything the impalpable, impossible, imperceptible which he cannot know and will not credit but is nevertheless compelled to feel in some of his moods or in certain presences and having once felt find himself fascinated by it and so returns to the subject for the sake of the sensation and that long low drawing room of Mrs. Autenberg's with the window at either end in view of the gray old cathedral tearing above the gnarled elms of the lower clothes itself the scene of every form of human endeavor every expression of human passion in surroundings so heavy with memories of the past and listening to the quiet tone of conviction in which Mrs. Autenberg spoke with the double charm of extreme polish and simplicity combined in that same room even the worldliest had found themselves riced into the ecstasy of the higher life spiritually freed for the moment and with the desire to go forth and do great deeds of love Mrs. Autenberg had sat idle and are looking out of the window her mind in the mood for music but bear of thought a gale was blowing without the old elms in the clothes were tossing their stuff bear arms about the ground was fueled with branches and leaves from the lines and the watery wintery sun made the misery of the muddy ground apparent and accentuated the blight of the flowers and torn untidiness of the creepers and all the items which make autumn garlands so desolate like quinoxial gales had set in early that year they began on a wetness wedding day with a fierce whose storm which raged all over the country and burst with special violence upon morning quest and the wind continued high and showed no sign of a batting it was depressing weather and Mrs. Autenberg sighed more than once unconsciously but presently the cathedral clock began to strike and she raised her head to listen one two three four the round notes fell then there was a pause and then the chime rolled out over the storm stained city mechanically Mrs. Autenberg repeated the phrase with each note as it floated forth filling the silent spaces and then she awoke with the start to thought once more and knew that she had been a long long time alone she was going to ring but at that moment a servant entered and announced Mrs. and Miss Beale they were the wife and daughter of the bishop of morning quest the one a very pleasant attractive elderly lady the other girl of 17 like her mother but with more character in her face how glad I am to see you Mrs. Autenberg exclaimed trying to rise and what a delicious breath of fresh air you have brought in with you my dear Olive don't move Mrs. Beale rejoined preventing her we have been nearly blown away walking this short distance just look at Edith's hair I feel quite tempest tossed said Edith getting up and going to a glass before which she moved her hat and let down her hair which was the color of burnished brass and fell to her knees in one straight heavy call without a wave you remind me of some Saxton Edith I have seen in a picture said Mrs. Autenberg looking at her admiringly but dear child our mother deprecated should you make a dressing room of the drawing room I know Mrs. Autenberg will pardon me said Edith rolling her hair up with definitely neatly as she spoke with the air of a privileged person quiet at home Mrs. Autenberg smiled at her affectionately but before she could speak the door opened once more and the servant announced Lord Dawn and there entered a grave distinguished looking man between 30 and 40 years of age apparently with black hair and deep blue eyes at once penetrating and winning in expression Mrs. Autenberg greeted him with pleasure Mrs. Beale with pleasure also but with more ceremony Edith quite simply and naturally and then she sat down he was in riding dress with his whip and hat in his hand this is an unexpected pleasure I did not know you were at mourn said Mrs. Autenberg is Claudia with you no I have only come for a few days Lord Dawn replied I came to see Adeline specially but they don't return from town till tomorrow they have all been assisting at the marriage of a niece of yours I hear and the heavenly twins have been prolonging the festivities on their own account Adeline wrote to me in despair and I have come to see if I can be of any use my sister he added turn into Mrs. Beale with his bright almost boyish smile which was like his nephew Diabolos and made them both irresistible my sister flattered herself that I have some influence with the children and as it is quite certain that nobody else has I am careful not to dispel the illusion it is comfort to her but the twins will not allow me to deceive myself upon that head they put me in my place every time I see them in the last time we had a serious talk together I noticed that Diabolos was thinking deeply and hoped for a moment that it was about what I was saying but that apparently had not interested him at all for I had the curiosity to ask just to see if I had per chance made any impression and discovered that he had something else in his mind the whole time I was just wondering he answered if you care much about being Duke of Moninquist no not very much I assured him why well I was pretty certain you didn't he replied and you see I do so I was just thinking couldn't you remain as you are when grandpa dies and let me walk into the title then I'd give Angelica the Hamilton house property and it would be very jolly for all of us but look here Angelica broken in her energetic way if you are going to be a duke I won't be left plain miss Hamilton Wells you couldn't be plain miss anything Diabolos gallantly assured her bowing in the most courtly way but Angelica said with more force than refinement that that was all a rot and then Diabolos lost his temper and pulled her hair and she got hold of his and dragged him out of the room by his my presence of course counted for nothing and the next I saw of them they were in their ponies in a secluded grassy glade of the forest tilting at each other with long poles of Duke down Angelica says she means to beat DeMostel is hollow I use her own phasology to give character to the quotation that delivering orations with a natural inclination to stammering was nothing to get over compared to the disabilities which being a girl imposes upon her but she means to get over them all by hook which she explains as being the proper development of her muscles and physique generally and by crook which she defines as circumventing the slave drivers of her sex a task which she seems to think can easily be accomplished by finishing and what was the last thing mrs. Ottenbeg inquired smiling indulgently oh that was very simple Lord don rejoined Diabolos dressed in velvet was caught and taken up by a policeman for recklessly driving a handsome an Oxford Street Angelica big inside the same disguised in something of her mother's I wonder it was Angelica who went inside mrs. Ottenbeg exclaimed well that was what her mother said Lord don replied and both her parents seem to think the matter was not merely so bad as it might have been in consequence mr. Hamilton Wells had to pay a fine for the few describing and use all his influence with the press to keep the things out of the papers but where did the children get the handsome mrs. Beale bet to be informed I regret to say that they hailed it through the dining room window and applied the driver with Rob Randy until his venal nature gave in to the earnestly persuasive eloquence and the contents of their purses and he consented to let Diabolos just try but it was like to sit up on that high box Angelica having previously got inside and of course the moment the young scamp had their reins in her hand he drove off full tilt oh dear poor lady at line mrs. Beale exclaimed Lord don smiled again and changed the subject did you feel the storm much here he asked my trees have suffered a great deal I'm sorry to say that reminds me mrs. Beale began a very strange and solemn thing happened on the day of the storm have you heard of it all if no mrs. Orton begs answered with interest what was it well you know the Dean's brother has a large family of daughters mrs. Beale replied and they had a very charming governess mrs. Will Stanley a lady by birth and an accomplished person and extremely spiritual well on the morning of the storm she was sitting at work with one of her pupils in the school room when another came in from the garden and uttered an exclamation of surprise when she saw miss Vince Stanley how did you get in and take your things off so quickly she said I've not been out miss will Stanley answered why I saw you I ran past you over by the duck pond dear child you must be mistaken I haven't been out today the governess answered smiling well that child got out her work and sat down but she had hardly done so when another came in and also exclaimed oh miss Vince Stanley how did you get here I saw you standing out looking out of the window at the bottom of the picture gallery as I ran past this minute I must have a double said miss Vince Stanley lightly but it was you the child insisted I saw you quite well flowers and all the governess was wearing some scarlet geranium you know what they say if people are seen like that where they have never been in the body she said jokingly they say it is a sign that the person is going to die in the afternoon Mrs. Bill continued lowering her voice and glancing round involuntarily and in the moment we pause the rush of the gale without sounded obstrucively in the afternoon of that same day she went out alone for a walk and did not return they became alarmed at last and sent some men to search for her when the storm was at its height and they found her lying across a style she had been killed by the branch of a tree falling on her how do we explain that Mrs. Outtenbeck said softly to Lord Dorn I should not attempt to explain it he answered rising must you go yes I'm sorry to say Claudia and Idela charge me with many messages for you they are together as usual and well I trust yes he answered and most anxious to hear a better account of your foot ah I hope to be able to walk soon she said holding out her hand to him what a charming man he is Mrs. Bill remarked when he had gone there is no hope of his marrying I suppose she added trying not to look at her daughter oh no Mrs. Outtenbeck exclaimed in an almost horrified tone Lord Dawn's friends made no secret of his grand and chivalrous devotion to the distinguished woman known to them all as Idela every one of them was aware although he had never let fall a word on a subject that he had remained single on her account everyone but Idela herself she never suspected it or thought of love at all in connection with Lord Dawn and besides she was married when her friends had gone that day Mrs. Outtenbeck sat long in the gathering dusk watching the newly lighted fire burn up and thinking she was thinking of a wedding chiefly wondering why she had had no news of her by her sister Elizabeth did not write and tell her all about the wedding and she was just on the verge of anxiety in that state when various possibilities of trouble that might have occurred to account for delays begin to present themselves to the mind when all at once without hearing anything she became conscious of a presence near her and looking up she was startled to see Evedny herself my dear child she gasped what has happened why are you here nothing has happened auntie don't be alarmed Evedny answered I'm here because I have been a fool she spoke quietly but with concentrated bitterness and then sat down and began to take off her gloves with that exaggerated show of composure which is a sign in some people of suppressed emotion her face was pale but her eyes were bright and the pupils were dilated I have come to claim your hospitality auntie she pursued to ask you for shelter from the world for a few days because I have been a fool let's stay surely dear child Mrs. Outtenbeck replied and then she waited mastering the nervous tremor into which the shock of Evedny's sudden appearance had thrown her with admirable self-control and here again the family likeness between aunt and niece was curiously apparent both masked their agitation because both by temperament were shy and ashamed to show strong feelings Evedny looked into the fire for a little trying to collect herself I knew we should take nothing for granted we should never be content merely to feel and suppose and hope for the best in matters about which we should know exactly and yet I took no trouble to a certain I fell in love and liked the sensation and gave myself up to it unreservedly certainly I was a fool there is no other word for it but are you married Evedny Mrs. Outtenbeck asked in a voice rendered unnatural by the rapid beating of her heart let me tell you auntie all about it Evedny answered hoarsely she drew her chair a little closer to the fire and spread her hands out to the blaze there was no other light in the room by this time the wind without hordes dismally still butter intervals as if with an effort during one of its noisiest burst the cathedral clock began to strike and hushed it as it were suddenly it seems to be listening to be waiting and Evedny waited and listened to raising her head there was a perceptible momentary pause then came the chime full round mournful melodious yet glad too in the strength of a solemn assurance feeling the desolate regions of sorrow and silence with something of hope whereon the very mind might repose when the last reverberation of the last note had melted out of hearing Evedny sighed then she straightened herself as if collecting her energy and began to speak yes I am married she said but when I went to change my dress after the ceremony I found this letter it was intended you see to reach me some days before it did but unfortunately it was addressed to frailing a and time was lost in foreboding it she handed it to her aunt who raised her eyebrows when she saw the writing as if she recognized it hastily drew the letter from its envelope and held it so that the blaze fell upon it while she read Evedny knelt on the earth rug and stirred the fire making it burn up brightly mrs. Outenbeck returned the letter to the envelope when she read it what did you do she said I read it before I went downstairs and at first I could not think what to do so we drove off together but on the way to the station it suddenly flashed upon me that the proper thing to do would be to go at once and hear all that there was to tell unfortunately major kohan gave me an opportunity of getting away without any dispute he went to see about something leaving me in the carriage and I just got out walked around the station took a handsome and drove off to the general post office to telegraph to my people but why didn't you go home for several reasons Evedny answered the best being that I never thought of going home I wanted to be alone and think I fancied that at home they either could not or would not tell me anything of major kohan's past life and I was determined to know the truth exactly and I can't tell you how many sayings of my fathers we occurred to me all at once for the new significance and made me fear that there was some difference between his point of view and mine on the subject of a suitable husband he told me himself that major kohan had been quite frank about his past career and then when I came to think it appeared to me clearly that it was the frankness which had satisfied my father the career itself was nothing you heard how pleased they were about my engagement yes miss loughton beg answered slowly and I confess I was a little surprised when I heard from your mother that your fiance had been wild in his youth for I remember some remarks you made last year about the kind of man you would object to marry and it seemed to me from the description that major kohan was very much that kind of man then why didn't you warn me if had me exclaimed I don't know whether I quite thought it was a subject of warning miss loughton beg answered and at any rate girls do talk in that way sometimes not really meaning it I thought it was mere youngness on our part and theory I don't know now whether I quite approve of your having been told of this new departure she added indicating the letter I do said even decidedly I would stop the imposition approved of custom convinced act by parents made possible by the state of ignorance in which we are carefully kept the imposition upon the girls innocence and inexperience of a disreputable man for husband miss loughton beg was startled by this poor desertion which was so unprecedented in her experience that for the moment she could not utter a word and when she did speak she avoided a direct reply because she thought any discussion on the subject of marriage except from the sentimental point of view was indelicate but tell me your position exactly she begged what you did next why you are here I went by the night mail north evad ne answered and saw them they were very kind they told me everything I can't repeat the things they disgust me no pray don't mrs. Ottenbeck exclaimed hastily she had no mind for anything uncivary they had been abroad you know evad ne pursued otherwise I should have heard from them as soon as the engagement was announced they hoped to be in time however they had no idea the marriage would take place so soon mrs. Ottenbeck reflected for a little and then she asked in evident trepidation for she had more than a suspicion of what the reply would be hank what are you going to do declined to live with him evad ne answered this was what mrs. Ottenbeck had begun to suspect but there is often an element of surprise in the confirmation of our students suspicions and now she sat upon lent forward and looked at her niece aghast what she demanded I shall decline to live with him evad ne repeated with emphasis mrs. Ottenbeck slowly resumed her declining position acting as one does who has heard the worst and realizes that there is nothing to be done but to recover from the shock I thought you loved him she ventured after a prolonged pause yes so did I evad ne answered frowning but I was mistaken it was a mere affair of the senses to be put off by the first circumstance calculated to cause a revulsion of feeling by lowering him in my estimation a thing so slight that after reading the letter as we drove to the station even so soon I could see him as he is I noticed that although his face is handsome the expression of it is not noble at all she shuddered as at the side of something repulsive you see she explained my taste is cultivated to so fine an extent I require something extremely well flavored for the dish which is to be the pick their resistance of my life feast my appetite is delicate it requires to be tempted and a husband of that kind a moral leper she broke off with the gesture spreading her hands palms outwards as if she would feign put some horrid idea far from her besides marrying a man like that allowing him in a short position in society is contingencing wise and she glanced around apprehensively then added in a fearful whisper helping to spread it mrs. Ortenbeck knew in her head that the reason and right were on evadne's side but she felt in her heart the full force of the custom and prejudice that would be against her and shrank appalled by the thought of what the cruel struggle to come must be if evadne persisted in her determination in view of this she sat up in her chair once more energetically prepared to do her best to dissuade her but then again she relaxed giving into a doubt of her own capacity to advise in such an emergency accompanied by a sudden and involuntary feeling of respect for evadne's principle however peculiar and unprecedented they might be and for the strength of character which had enabled her so far to act upon them you must obey your own conscience evadne was what she found herself saying at last i will help you to do that i would rather not influence you you may be right i cannot be sure and yet i don't agree with you for i know if i could have my husband back with me i would welcome him even if he were a leper evadne compressed her lips in steady disproval i should think only of his future i should forgive the past that is the mistake you good women all make said evadne you said a distasteably bad example so long as women like you will forgive anything men will do anything you have it in your part to set up a high standard of excellence for men to reach in order to have the privilege of associating with you there is this quality in men that they will have the best of everything and if the best wives are only to be obtained by being worthy of them they will strive to become so as it is however why should they instead of punishing them for their depravity you encourage them in it by overlooking it and besides she added you must know that there is no past in the matter of vice the consequences become hereditary and continue from generation to generation again mrs ottenbeg felt herself checked where did you hear all this evadne she asked i never heard it i read and i thought she answered but i am only now beginning to understand she added i suppose moral axioms are always the outcome of pain and reflection knowledge cries to us in vain as a rule before experience has taken the sharp edge of aregotism by experience i mean the addition of some personal feeling to our knowledge i don't understand you in the least evadne mrs ottenbeg replied your husband was a good man evadne answered indirectly you have never thought about what a woman ought to do who has married a bad one in an emergency like mine that is you think i should act as a woman who have always been advised to act in such cases that i should sacrifice myself to save that one man's soul i take a different view of it i see that the world is not a bit the better for centuries of self-sacrifice on the women's part and therefore i think it is time we tried a more effectual plan and i propose now to sacrifice the man instead of the women mrs ottenbeg was silent have you nothing to say to me auntie evadne asked at last carelessly i do not like to hear you talk so evadne every word you say seems to banish something something from this room something from my life or to which i cling i think it is my faith in love and loving you may be right but yet the consequences the struggle if we must resist it is best to submit it is better not to know it is easier to submit yes it is disagreeable to know evadne translated there was another pause then mrs ottenbeg broke out don't make me think about it surely i have suffered enough disagreeable to know it is torture if i ever let myself dwell on the horrible depravity that goes on unchecked the depravity which you say we women license by ignoring it when we should face at unmask it i should go out of my mind i do know we all know how can we live and not know but we don't think about it we can't we darent see i always try to keep my own mind in one attitude to keep it filled forever with holy and beautiful thoughts when i am alone i listen for the time and when i have repeated it to myself slowly he watching over israel slumbers not nor sleeps my heart swells i leave all that is inexplicable to him and thank him for the love and the hope with which he feeds my heart and keeps it from hardening i thank him too she went on horsey for the terrible moments when i feel my loss fresh those early morning moments when the bright sunshine and beauty of all things only to make my own barren life look all the more bare in its loneliness when my soul struggles to free itself from the shackles of the flesh that it may spread its wings to meet that other soul which made earth heaven for me here and will i know make all eternity ecstatic as a dream for me hereafter it is good to suffer yes but surely i suffer enough my husband if i cry to him he will not hear me if i go down on my knees besides his grave and dig my arms in deep i shall not reach him i cannot raise him up again to caress him or move the cruel weight of earth from off his breast the voice that was always kind will gladden me no more the arms that were so willing to protect the world just think how big it is and if i traverse it to every yard i shall not find him he is not anywhere in all this huge expanse ah god the agony of yearning the ache the ache why must i live auntie when they cried i am selfish she knelt down beside her and held her hand i have made you think of your own irreparable loss compared with which i know my trouble is so small forgive me mrs. out and beg put her arms around the girl's neck and kissed her forgive me she said i am so weak evadne and you ah you are strong end of chapter 14 chapter 15 part one of the heavenly twins this is a liverbox recording all liverbox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit liverbox.org recording by judy guinen the heavenly twins by sarah grand chapter 15 part one the frailings had sent their children and the majority of their servants back to frailing gay the day after the wedding but had decided to stay in london themselves with major cochran until evadine wrote to relieve their anxiety which was extreme and gave them some information about her movements and intentions mr. frailings spent most of the interval and prancing up and down he recollected all his past grievances real and imaginary and recounted them and also speculated about those that were to come and mentioned the number of things he was always doing for everybody the position he had to keep up and consider for the sake of his family the scandal there would be if this story got about and described in one breath both his determination to hush it up and his conviction that it would be utterly impossible to do so whenever the postman knocked he went to the door to look for a letter and coming back empty handed each time he invariably remarked that it was disgraceful simply disgraceful and he had never heard of such a thing in all his life there was blame and severity in his attitude toward poor mrs frailing he seemed to insinuate that she might and should have done something to prevent all this while there was a mixture of sympathy deprecation and apology in his manner to his son-in-law combined with a certain air of absorbing himself from all responsibility in the matter combined with a certain air of absolving himself from all responsibility in the matter major cochran's own attitude was woefully in a medical he smoked cigars read novels and said nothing except in answer to such remarks as were specially addressed to him and then he confined himself to the shortest and simplest form of rejoiner possible the dear fellow's patience is exemplary mrs frailing remarked to her husband as they went to bed one night he conceals his own feelings quite and never utters a complaint huh grunted mr frailing whose scented summer approach in this remark if the dear fellow does not suffer from impatience and has no feelings to conceal it is not much marvel if he utters no complaint i believe he doesn't care a wrap and is only thinking of how to get out of the whole business oh my dear how dreadful mrs frailing exclaimed i'm sure you are quite mistaken you don't understand him at all mr frailing shrugged his shoulders and snorted he despised feminine conclusions too much to reply to them but not nearly enough to be woefully unmoved by them mrs frailing spent the next days in sitting still embroidering silk flowers on a satin ground and watering them well with her tears but on the morning of the fourth day by the first post letters arrived which put an end to their suspense one was from mrs orton beg and the other from evident herself mrs frailing read them aloud at the breakfast table and the three sat for an hour in solemn conclave considering them mrs orton beg had had time to recover herself and reflect before she wrote and the consequence was some modification of her first impression my dear elizabeth evident is here she arrived this afternoon on her wedding day she received a letter from a lady whose name i am not allowed to mention here but written under the impression that evident was being kept in ignorance of major cochran's past life and offering to give her any information that had been withheld so that she might not be blindly entrapped into marrying him under the delusion that he was a worthy man the letter arrived too late but evident went off nevertheless on the spur of the moment to make further inquiries the result of which is great indignation on her part for having been allowed to marry a man of such antecedents and a determination not to live with him she wishes to stay here with me for the present and i'm very glad to have her i give her an asylum but i shall not speak a word to influence her decision in any way if i can help it it is a matter of conscience with her and i perceive that her moral consciousness and mine are not quite the same but in the present state of my ignorance i feel that it would be presumption on my part to set my own up as superior and therefore i think it better not to interfere in any way you need not be in the least anxious about evident she is quite well has an excellent appetite and is not at all inclined to pose as a martyr i confess i should have thought myself she would have suffered more in the first days of her dissolution for she certainly was very much in love with major cochran but her principles are older than her acquaintance with him an ingrained principle is a force superior to passion it seems which is as it should be i am sorry for you all and for you especially dear in this dilemma for i know how you will feel it and i am the more sorry because i cannot say a single word which would relieve the state of perplexity which you must be in or be in any way a comfort to you your loving sister olive orton beg evidence letter ran thus the close morning quest fourth october my dear father and mother and olive has kindly written to tell you exactly why i'm here so that my letter need only be a supplement to hers for whatever trouble and anxiety i may have caused you forgive me the thought of it will be a pang to me as long as i live since i left you i have been fully informed of circumstances in major cochran's past career which make it impossible for me to live with him as his wife i find that i consented to marry him under a grave misapprehension of his true character that he is not at all a proper person for a young girl to associate with and that in point of fact his mode of life has very much resembled that of one of those old-fashioned heroes rodrick random or tom jones specimens of humanity whom i hold in peculiar and a special detestation i consider i should be wanting an all right feeling if i held myself bound to him by vows which i took in my ignorance of his history but i am afraid there will be some difficulty about the legal business kindly find out for me what will be the best arrangement to make for our separation and tell me also if i ought to write to major cochran myself i should like it better if my father would relieve me of this dreadful necessity until we have arranged matters i should prefer to stay here with aunt olive i'm very well and happier too than i should have expected to be after the shock of such a disappointment though perhaps less so than i ought in gratitude to be considering the merciful deliverance i have had from what would have been the shipwreck of my life your affectionate daughter avidine good heavens good heavens mr fraily ejaculated several times major cochran had curled his moustache during the reading of the letter with the peculiar said expression of continents he was in the habit of assuming to mask his emotions what language what ideas mr frailing proceeded i have been much deceived in that unhappy child and he shook his head at his wife severely as if it were her fault major cochran muttered something about having been taken in himself after the reading of the letter mrs frailing's comely prompt face looked drawn and haggard she could not utter a word at first and had even exhausted her stock of tears all at once however she recovered her voice and gave sudden utterance to a determination i must go to that child she exclaimed i must i must go at once you shall do no such thing her husband thundered he had no reason in the world for opposing the motherly impulse but it relieves the male of certain species to roar when he is irritated and the relief is all the greater when he finds some sentient creature to roar at that will shrink from the noise and be awed by it mrs frailing looked up at him pathetically then riveted her eyes upon the tablecloth and rocked herself to and fro but answered never a word major cochran with the surface sympathy of sensual men who resent anything that produces a feeling of discomfort in themselves felt sorry for her and relieved the tension by asking what was to be said and replied to evadine's letter this led to a discussion of the subject which was similarly ended by mr frailing who deputed to his wife the task of answering the letter without allowing her any choice in the matter it was never his way to do anything disagreeable if he could insist upon her doing it for him but mrs frailing was nothing loath upon this occasion well she began humbly i undertake the task since you wish it but i should have thought a word from you would have gone further than anything i can say however she ventured to lift a hopeful head i've certainly always been able to manage evadine she turned to major cochran i can assure you george that child has never given me a moment's anxiety in her life and she added in a broken voice i never never thought that she would live to quote books to her parents mr frailing found in his own inclination's a reason for everything he was very tired of being shut up in london and he therefore decided that they should go back to frailing gay at once and suggested that major cochran should follow them in a few days if evadine had not in the meantime come to her senses major cochran agreed to this he would have hidden himself anywhere done anything to keep his world in ignorance of what had befallen him even a man's independence is injured by excesses as the tissues waste the esteem of men is fond for instead of being honestly earned criticism is deprecated importance is attached to the babbling of blockheads and even to the opinion of fools what should have been self-respect and major cochran had degenerated into a devouring vanity which rendered him thin-skinned to the slightest dispersion he had married evadine in order to win the credit of having secured an exceptionally young and attractive wife and now all he thought of was what fellows would say if they knew of the slight she had put upon him to conceal this was the one object of his life at present the thought that forever absorbed him mr frailing felt that it would be a relief to get away from his son-in-law if the fellow would only speak he exclaimed when he was alone with his wife what the deuce he's always thinking about i can't imagine he is in great grief mrs frailing maintained as soon as she was settled at frailing gay she wrote to evadine my poor misguided child the whole action since your marriage and your extraordinary resolution have occasion your dear father your poor husband and myself the very greatest anxiety and pain we have grave fears for your sanity i have never in my life heard of a young lady acting in such a way your poor husband has been very sweet and good all through this dreadful trial he very much fears the ridicule which of course would attach to him if his brother officers hear what has happened but so far i'm thankful to say no inkling of the true state of the cases leaked out the servants talk of course but they know nothing what they suspect however is i believe that you have gone out of your mind and i even venture to suggest something of the kind to jenny who after all these years is naturally concerned at the site of my deep distress i assure you i have taken nothing since your letter arrived but a little tea so do dear child in this distressing state of things by returning to your right state of mind at once you are a legally married woman and you must obey the law of the land but of course your husband would rather not invoke the law and make a public scandal if he can help it he does not wish to force your inclinations in any way and he therefore generously gives you more time to consider in fact he says she must come back of her own free will footnote what he did say exactly was she went of her own accord and she must come back of her own accord or not at all just as she likes i shall not trouble about her and he is ready i'm sure as your father and myself are to forgive you freely for all the trouble and anxiety you caused him and is waiting to welcome you to his heart and home with open arms and evident remember a woman has it in her power to change even a reprobate into a worthy man and i know from the way george talks that he is far from being a reprobate now and just think what a work that is the angels in heaven rejoice over the center that repents and you have before you a sphere of action which it should gladden your heart to contemplate i don't deny that there were things in george's past life which it is very sad to think of but women have always much to bear it is our cross and you must take up yours patiently and be sure that you will have your reward whom the lord loveth he chastises i wish now that i had talked to you on the subject before you were married and prepared you to meet some forms of wickedness in a proper spirit you would not then have been at the mercy of the wicked woman who has caused all this mischief she is some clever designing adventurous i suppose and she must have told you dreadful things which you should never have heard of at your age and i suspect that jealousy is at the bottom of it all she may herself have been cast off in her wickedness for my own sweet innocent child's sake when i think of all the happiness she has destroyed of these dark days following such bright prospects i could see her whipped avidine i could indeed everything had arranged itself so beautifully he is an excellent match the irish property which he must have is one of the best in the country and as there is only one fragile child between him and the scotch and states you might almost venture to calculate upon becoming mistress of them also and then he certainly is a handsome and attractive man of most charming manners so what more do you want he is a good churchman too you know how regularly he accompanied you to every service and really if you will just think for a moment i am sure you will see yourself that you have made a terrible mistake and repent while it is called today but we do not blame you entirely dear you have surprised and distressed us but we all freely forgive you and if you will come back at once you need fear no reproaches for not another word will ever be set on the subject i am dear child ever your loving mother elizabeth frailing ps your father is so horrified at your conduct that he declares he will neither write to you nor speak to you until you return to your duty avidine took a day and a half to consider her mother's letter and then she wrote the following reply the close morning quest ninth october my dear mother i answer your post script first because i am cut to the quick by my father's attitude i was sure that large minded and just as i have always thought him he would allow that a woman is entitled to her own point of view in a matter which to begin with concerns her own happiness more than anybody else's and that if she accepts a fallen angel for a husband knowing him to be such she shows a poor appreciation of her own worth i am quite ready to rejoice over any sinner that repents if i may rejoice as the angels themselves do that is to say at a safe distance i would not be a stumbling block in the way of any man's reformation i only maintain that i am not the right person to undertake such a task and that if women are to do it at all they should be mothers or other experienced persons and not young wives i am pained that you should make such a cruel insinuation against the character and motives of the lady whom i am too blessed for my escape from a detestable position but even if she had been the kind of character you describe do i understand you to mean that it would have been a triumph for me to have obtained the reversion of her equally culpable associate that i ought in fact to have gratefully accepted a secondhand sort of man you would not console a son of yours to marry a society woman of the same character as major cochran and neither more nor less degraded for the purpose of reforming her would you mother i know you would not and as a woman's soul as every bit as precious as a man's one sees what can't this talk of reformation is it seems to me that such cases as major cochrans are for the clergy who have both experience and authority and not for young wives to tackle and at any rate although reforming reprobates may be a very noble calling i do not at nineteen feel that i have any vocation for it and i would respectfully suggest that you mother with your experience your no one piety and your sweet disposition would be a much more suitable person to reform major cochran than i should be his past life seems to inspire you with no horror the knowledge of it makes me shrink from him my husband must be a christlike man i have very strong convictions you see on the subject of the sanctity and responsibilities of marriage there are certain conditions which i hold to be essential on both sides i hold also that human beings are sacred and capable of deep desecration and that marriage their closest bond is sacred too the holiest relationship in life and one which should only be entered upon with the greatest care and in the most reverent spirit i see no reason why marriage should be a lottery but evidently major cochrans views upon the subject differ widely from mine and it seems to me utterly impossible that we should ever be able to accommodate ourselves to each other's principles had i known soon enough that he did not answer to my requirements i should have dismissed him at once and thought no more about him and all this misery would never have occurred but having been kept in ignorance i consider that i was inviggled into consenting that the vow i made was taken under a grave misapprehension that therefore there is nothing either holy or binding in it and that every law of morality absorbs me from fulfilling my share of the contract this of course is merely considering marriage from the higher and most moral point of view but even when i think of it in the lower and more ordinary way i find the same conclusion forces itself upon me for there certainly is no romance in marrying a man old already in every emotion between whom and may the recollection of some other woman would be forever intruding my whole soul sickens at the possibility and i think that it must have been women old in emotion themselves who first tolerated the stillness of such lovers i feel that my letter is very inaccurate mother the thought that i am forced to pain and oppose you distracts me but i have tried consciously to show you exactly what my conviction and principles are and i do think i have a right to beg that you will at least be tolerant however much you may disagree with me your affectionate daughter evidine end of chapter 15 part one chapter 15 part two of the heavenly twins this is a live revox recording all the revox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit the revox.org recording by judy guinen the heavenly twins by sarah grand chapter 15 part two mrs frailings replied to this letter arrived by return of post red hot evident glancing at the envelope frown to find herself addressed as mrs cochran the name had not struck her on her mother's first communication which was also the first occasion upon which he had been so addressed and it had not occurred to her until now that she would have to be mrs cochran from thence whether she liked it or not she felt it to be unjust distinctly a gross infringement of the liberty of the subject and she opened her mother's letter with rage and rebellion at her heart and found the contents anything but soothing to such a state of mind it ran as follows you most unnatural child we shall all be disgraced if this story gets out so far the world knows nothing and there is time for you to save yourself i warn you that your father's anger is extreme he says he shall be obliged to put you in a lunatic asylum if you do not give in at once and consent to live with your husband and there is the law too which your husband can invoke and think of your five sisters will anybody marry them after such a business with you their prospects will be simply ruined by your heartless selfishness no girl in my young days would have acted so outrageously it is not decent it is positively immodest i repeat that your father is the proper person to judge for you you know nothing of the world and even if you did you are not old enough to think for yourself you do not imagine yourself to be a sort of seer i hope better informed by intuition than your parents are by wisdom and knowledge for that would be a certain sign of insanity your father thinks your opposition is mere conceit and certainly no good can come of it all right-minded women have submitted and suffered patiently and have had the reward think of the mother of st augustin her husband returned to her penchant after years of depravity every wise woman built with her house but the foolish pluck it down and that is what you are doing a continual dropping on a rainy day and a contentious woman are alike for heaven's sake my child do not become a contentious woman see also province eight if only you had read your bible regularly every day prayed humbly for contrite heart and obeyed your parents as you have always been taught to do we should never have had all this dreadful trouble with you but you show yourself wanting and respect in every way in an all right and proper feeling and really i don't know what to do i don't indeed oh do remember that forgiveness is still offered to you and repent while it is called today i assure you that your poor husband is even more ready than your father and myself to forgive and forget i pray for you continually evident i do indeed if you have any natural feeling at all right and relieve my anxiety at once your affectionate mother elizabeth frailing evident read the letter in the drawing room and stood for a little leaning against the window frame looking up at the close at the old trees disheveled by the recent gale and at the weather beaten wall of the south trans of the cathedral from which the beautiful spire sprang upward but she rendered no account to herself of these marvels of nature and art something in her attitude as she stood there with one hand resting flat upon the window frame high above her head and the other hanging down beside her loosely holding her mother's letter attracted mrs orton begs attention and made her wonder what thought her niece was so intent upon not one of the thoughts of youth which are long long thoughts apparently for the expression of her continents was not far away and neither was it sad nor angry but only intent presently she turned from the window languidly strode to the writing table reread her letter and began to write without moving a muscle of her face as she proceeded however she compressed her lips and bent her brows potentially and mrs orton beg was sure that she heard no note of the mellow chime which sounded once while she was so engaged and seemed to her aunt to plead with her solemnly to cast her care on the great power watching and continue passively in the old worn grooves as mrs orton beg herself had done evident began abruptly the close morning quest 13th october dear mother you say that no girl in your young days would have behaved so outrageously as i am doing i wish you had said so decidedly instead of outrageously for i'm sure that any resistance to the old inquitious state of things is a quite hopeful sign of coming change for the better we are a long way from the days when it was considered right and becoming for women in our position to sit in their parlors do berlin will work and say nothing we should call that conniving now but happily women are no longer content to be part of the livestock about the place they have acquired the right of reason and judgment in matters concerning themselves in particular and the welfare of the world at large public opinion now is composed of what we think to a very great extent you remind me of what other women have done and how patiently they have submitted i have found the same thing said over and over again in the course of my reading but i have not yet found any particular mention made of the great good which would naturally have come of all the submission which has been going on for so many centuries if submission on our part is truly an effectual means of checking sin on the contrary st. Monica doubtless made things pleasanter for her own husband by rewarding him with forgiveness a happy home and good nursing when he returned to her exhausted by vice but at the same time she said a most pernicious example so long as men believe that women will forgive anything they will do anything do you see what i mean the mistake from the beginning has been that women have practiced self-sacrifice when they should have been teaching men self-control you say that i do not know the world but my father does and that therefore i must let him judge for me he probably does know the world but he quite evidently does not know me our point of view you see is necessarily very different i have no doubt that major cochran is agreeable in the temporary good fellowship of the smoking room and he is agreeable in the drawing room also but society and his own interests require him to be so it is a trick of manner merely which may conceal the most objectionable line character is what we have most to consider in the choosing of a partner for life and how are we to consider it except by actions such as a man's misdeeds which are especially the outcome of his own individuality and are calculated in their consequences to do more injury to his family than could be compensated for by the most charming manners in the world of course i do propagate my father's anger but i must again repeat i do not consider that i deserve it the lunatic asylum is a nonsensical threat and the law i am inclined to invoke myself for the purpose of ventilating the question do i understand that major cochran presumes to send me messages of forgiveness what has he to forgive may i ask surely i am the person who has been imposed upon do not i beg allow him to repeat such a impertinence but mother why do you persistently ignore my reason for refusing to live with major cochran summed up it comes to this really and i give it now vulgarly boldly boldly and once for all major cochran is not good enough and i won't have him that is plain i am sure and i must beg you to accept it as my final decision the tone of our correspondence is becoming undignified in both sides and the correspondence itself must end here i shall not write another word on the subject and i only wish you had not compelled me to write so much forgive me mother do for being myself i don't know how else to put it but i know that none of the others could do as i have done and yet i cannot help it i cannot act otherwise and preserve my honesty and self-respect it is conscience and not caprice that i am obeying i wish i could make you realize that but at all events don't write me anymore hard words mother they burn into my memory and above rate the loving thoughts i have of you it is terrible to be met with bitterness and reproach where hitherto one has known nothing but kindness and indulgence so i do entreat you mother once more to forgive me for being myself and above everything to say nothing which will destroy my affection for you believe me i always have been and hope always to be your most loving child evident the last lines were crowded into the smallest possible space and there had hardly been room enough for her name at the end she glanced at the clock as she folded the letter and finding that there was only just time to catch the post she rang for a servant and told her to take it at once then she took her old stand in the window and watched the girl hurrying up the clothes holding the white letter carelessly and waving at two and fro on a level with her shoulder as she went i wish i had had time to rewrite it evident thought shall i call her back no anything will be better for mother than another day's suspense but i think i might have expressed myself better i don't know though she turned from the window and met her aunt's kind eyes fixed upon her you are flushed evident the letter said were you writing home yes auntie evident answered weirdly you're looking more worried than i have seen you yet i am worried auntie and i lost my temper i could not help it and i'm dissatisfied i know i have said too much and i have said the same thing over and over again and gone round and round the subject too and altogether i am disheartened i cannot imagine you saying too much about anything evident mrs. orton bake commented smiling when i am speaking you mean but that is different i am always afraid to speak but i dare write anything the subject is closed now however i shall write no more she advancedlessly and leaned against the mantelpiece close beside the couch on which her aunt was lying have you ever felt compelled to say something which all the time you hate to say and afterward hate yourself for having said that is what i always seem to be doing now she looked up at the cathedral yes she spoke how i envy you your power to say exactly what you mean she added who told you i always say exactly what i mean her aunt asked smiling well exactly what you ought to say then evident answered responding to the smile mrs. orton beg sighed and resumed her knitting she was making some sort of wrap out of a soft white wool and evident noticed the glint of her rings as she worked and also the delicacy of her slender white hands as she held them up in this somewhat tiring attitude which her position on the couch necessitated how patient you are anti evident said and then she bent down and kissed her forehead and cheeks it is easy to be patient when one's greatest trial is only the waiting for a happy certainty mrs. orton beg answered but you will be patient too evident sooner or later you are at the passion and age now but the patient one will come all in good time you have always a word of comfort evident said there is one word more i would say although i do not wish to influence you mrs. orton beg began hesitantly you mean submit evident answered in shaker head no that word is of no use to me mine is rebel it seems to me that those who dare to rebel in every age are those who make life possible for those whom temperament compels to submit it is the rebels who extend the boundary of right little by little narrowing the confines of wrong and crowding it out of existence she stood for a moment looking down on the ground with bent brows thinking deeply and then she slowly sauntered from the room and presently past the south window with her hat in her hand took one turn round in the garden and then subsided into the high back chair on which she had sat and fed her fancy with dreams of love a few weeks before her marriage the day was one of those balmy mild ones which come occasionally in mid-october the sheltered garden had suffered little in the recent gale from where mrs. orton beg reclined there was no visible change in the background of single delilahs sunflowers and the old brick wall curtained with creepers nor was there any great difference apparent in the girl herself the delicate shell pink a passion had faded to milky white her eyes were heavy and her attitude somewhat fatigued but that was all a dance the night before would have left her so exactly and mrs. orton beg watching her wondered at the small effect of blatant affection as she saw it in evident compared with the terrible consequences which popular superstition attributes to a disappointment evident had certainly suffered but more because her parents in whom she had always had perfect confidence and whom she had known and loved as long as she could remember anything had failed her then because she had been obliged to cast a man out of her life who had merely lightened it for a few months with a flame which she recognized now as lurid at the best an uncertain and which she would never have desired to keep burning continually with that feverish glare to the extinguishing of every other interesting object she would have been happiest when passion ended and love began as it does in happy marriages and she was herself comparing the two states of mine as she sat there she was conscious of a blank now dull and dispiriting enough but no more likely to endure than the absorbing passion it succeeded she knew it for an interregum and was thinking of the books she would send for when she had mastered herself sufficiently to be interested in books again it was as if her mind had been out of health but was convalescent now and recovering its strength and she was as well aware of the fact as if she had been suffering from some physical ailment which had interrupted her ordinary pursuits and was making plans for the time when she should be able to resume them while so engaged however she fell asleep as convalescents do and mrs. Orton beg smiled at the consummation it was not romantic but it was imminently healthy at the same time she heard the hall door opened from without as by one who had a right to enter familiarly and a man step in the hall come in she said an answer to a firm tap at the door and smiled looking over her shoulder as it opened it was Dr. Gale breath on his way back through morning quest to his own place fountain towers I am so glad to see you said mrs. Orton beg as he took her hand I am on my way back from the castle he rejoined sitting down beside her and have just come in for a moment to see how the ankle progresses quicker now I am thankful to say she answered I can get about the house comfortably by resting in between times but is there anything wrong at the castle the same old thing said dr. Galeworth with a twinkle in his bright gray eyes the Duke has been seeing visions determination of blood to the head and lady folder has been dreaming dreams fatigue and fasting food and rest for her she will be undisturbed by dreams tonight and a severe course of dieting for him mrs. Orton beg smiled really life is becoming too prosaic she said since you dreadfully clever people began to discover a reason for everything lady float us beauty and goodness would have been enough to convince any man at one time that she is a saint indeed and privilege to heal the sick and converse with angels but you are untouched by either on the contrary he answered I never see her or think of her without acknowledging to myself that she is one of the loveliest and most angelic women in the world and she has the true magnetic touch of a nurse to there's healing in it I have seen it again but that is a natural process many quite wicked doctors are endowed in the same way and even more strongly than she is there can be no doubt about that he broke off with a little gesture and smiled genuinely but anything beyond mrs. Orton begs supplemented anything supernatural in fact you ridicule one cannot ridicule anything with which lady food as name is associated he answered but tell me he exclaimed catching sight of evident placardly sleeping in the high back chair with her hat in her hand held up as so to conceal the lower part of her face our visions about is that one that I see there before me if I were fast I should love such a mark him I wish you would let her hat drop I want to see the lower part of her face the upper part satisfies me it is fine the balance of brow and frontal development are perfect mrs. Orton beg colored with a momentary annoyance she had forgotten that evident was there but dr. Galbraith had entered so abruptly that there would have been no time to warn her away in any case no vision she began or if a vision one of the 19th century sort tangible and of satisfying continents she is a niece of mine and I warn you in case you have a momentary desire to forsake your books and become young in mind again for her sake that she is a very long way after margaret whom I think she would consider to have been a very weak and foolish person I can imagine her saying about frost fancy sacrificing oneself for the transit pleasure of a moonlight meeting or two with a man and a few jewels however unique when one can live in italics and with a note of admiration why I can put my elbow here on the arm of my chair and my head on my hand and in a moment I perceive delights past present and to come of equal intensity more certain quality and longer continuance than passion I perceive the gradual growth of knowledge through all the ages the clouds of ignorance and superstition slowly parting breaking up and rolling away to let the light of science shine science being truth and there is all art and all natural beauty from the beginning everything that lasts and is life why even to think on such subjects warms my whole being with a glow of enthusiasm which is in itself a more exquisite pleasure than passion and not alloyed like the latter with uncertainty that terrible ache I might take my walk in the garden with my own particular fast like any other girl and as I take my glass of champagne at dinner for its pleasurably stimulating quality but I hope I should do both in moderation and as to making fast my all or even giving him so large a share of my attention as to limit my capacity for other forms of enjoyment absurd we are long past the time when there was only one incident of interest in a woman's life and that was its love affair there was no sense of proportion in those days is that how you interpret her he said one who holds herself well in hand bent upon enjoying every moment of her life and all the variety of it perceiving that it is stupid to narrow it down to the indulgence of one particular set of emotions and determined not to swamp every faculty by constant cultivation of the animal instincts to which all ages have created alters best for herself I suppose but hardly possible at present the capacity you know is only coming women have been cramped into a small space so long that they cannot expand all at once when they are let out there must be a great deal of stretching and growing and when they are not on their guard they will often find themselves falling into the old attitude as newborn babes are apt to resume the antenatal position she will have the perception the inclination but the power unless she is exceptional the power will only be for her daughter's daughter then she must suffer and do no good she must suffer yes but I don't know about the rest she may be a seventh wave you know what is a seventh wave it is a superstition of the fisher folks they say that when the tide is coming in it pauses always and remains stationary between every seventh wave waiting for the next and unable to rise any higher till it comes to carry it on and it has always seemed to me that the tide of human progress is raised at intervals to higher levels and abound in some such way the seventh waves of humanity are men and women who by the impulse of some one action which comes naturally to them but is new to the race gather strength to come up to the last holding place of the tide and to carry it on with them ever so far beyond he stopped abruptly and brushed his hand over his forehead now that I have said that yet it seems as old as the cathedral there and as familiar yet the moment before I spoke it appeared to have only just occurred to me if it is an ill digested remnants and you come across the original in some book I am afraid you will lose your faith in me forever but I pray you of your charity make do allowance I must go oh no not yet a moment mrs. Orton beg exclaimed I want to ask you how are lady Adeline and the twins I haven't seen lady Adeline for a month he answered rising to go as he spoke but darn tells me that the twins are as awful as ever it is a question of education now and it seems that the twins have their own ideas on the subject and are teaching their parents but take care of your girly out there he added his strong face softening as he took a last look at her her body is not so robust as her brain I should say and it is late in the year to be sitting out of doors tell me dr. Galbra mrs. Orton beg began detaining him you are a scotchman you should have the second sight tell me the fate of my girly out there I'm anxious about her she will marry he answered in his deliberate way humoring her but not have many children and her husband's name should be George oh most oracular a very oracle a deathly oracle only to be interrupted by the event just so he answered from the door and then he was gone evident come in mrs. Orton beg called it is getting damp evident roused herself and entered at once by the window I've been hearing voices through my dim dreaming consciousness she said have you had a visitor only the doctor her aunt replied by the way evident she added what is major Cochran's Christian name George evident answered surprised why auntie nothing I wanted to know end of chapter 15 part 2 recording by Judy Guinen book 1 chapter 16 of the heavenly twins this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Michelle McFarland Ballarat Australia the heavenly twins by Sarah Grand book 1 chapter 16 when breakfast was over at frailing gay next morning and the young people had left the table mrs. Frailing helped herself to another cup of coffee and solemnly opened of Adney's last letter the coffee was cold for the poor lady had been waiting not daring to take the last cup herself because she knew that the moment she did so her husband would want more the emptying of the urn was the signal which usually called up his appetite for another cup he might refuse several times and even leave the table amably so long as there was any left but the knowledge or suspicion that there was none set up a sense of injury unmistakably expressed in his countenance and not to be satisfied by having more made immediately although he invariably ordered it just to mark his displeasure he would get up and ring for it emphatically and would even sit with it before him for some time after it came but would finally go out without touching it and be as poor mrs. Frailing mentally expressed it oh dear quite upset for the rest of the day on this occasion however the pleasure of a wholly new grievance left no space in his fickle mind for the old worn item of irritation and he never even noticed that the coffee was done dear George sat beside mrs. Frailing she kept him there in order to be able to bestow a stray pat on his hand or make him some other sign of that maternal tenderness of which she considered the poor dear fellow stood so much in need mr. Frailing sat at the end of the table reading a local paper with one eye as it were and watching his wife for her news with the other a severely critical expression sat singularly ill upon his broad face which was like a baked apple puffy and wrinkled and red and there was about him a quealy pursed-up air of settled opposition to everything which did duty for both the real and spurious object of his attention mrs. Frailing read the letter through to herself and then she put it down on the table and raised her handkerchief to her eyes with a heavy sigh well what does she say now mr. Frailing exclaimed throwing down the local paper and giving way to his impatience openly dear george was perfectly cool she says mrs. Frailing and joined between two sniffs that major kahoon isn't good enough and she won't have him well i understand that at all events better than anything else she has said major kahoon observed almost as if a weight had been removed from his mind and i'm quite inclined to come to terms with her for i don't care much myself for a young lady who gets into hysterics about things that other women think nothing of oh don't say think nothing of george mrs. Frailing deprecated we lament and deplore but we forgive and endure it comes to the same thing said major kahoon a big dog which sat beside him with its head on his knee pumped his tail upon the ground here and whined sympathetically and he laid one hand caressingly upon his head while he twirled his big blonde mustache with the other he was fond of children and animals and all creatures that formed upon him and were not able to argue if they disagreed with him or resented if you kicked them actually or metaphorically speaking not that he was much given to that kind of thing he was agreeable naturally as all pleasure loving people are only when he did lose his temper that was the way he showed it he would cut a woman to the quick with a word and knock a man down but both ebolicians were momentary as a rule it was really too much trouble to cherish anger and just then he was thinking quite as much about his moustaches about his wife it had once been the pride of his life but had come to be the cause of some misgivings for heavy moustaches had gone out of fashion in polite society mr. Frailing followed up the last remark this is very hard on you kahoon very hard he declared pushing his plate away from him and i may say that it is very hard on me too but it just shows you what would come of the higher education of women why they'd raised some absurd standard of excellence and want to import angels from Eden if we didn't come up to it major kahoon looked depressed yes mrs. Frailing protested shaking her head she says her husband must be a christlike man she says men have agreed to accept christ as an example of what a man should be and asserts that therefore they must feel in themselves that they could live up to his standard if they chose there now mr. Frailing exclaimed triumphantly that is just what i said a christlike man indeed what absurdity will women want next i don't know what to advise kahoon i really don't can't you order her mrs. Frailing suggested order her how can i order her she belongs to major kahoon now he retorted irritably but with a fine conservative regard for the rights of property and this is the way she keeps her vow of obedience major kahoon muttered oh but you see the poor misguided child considers that she made the vow under a misapprehension mrs. Frailing explained her maternal instinct acting on the defensive when her offspring's integrity was attacked and making the position clear to her don't you think dear to her husband that if you ask bishop he would talk to her the bishop mr. Frailing ejaculated with infinite scorn i know what women are when they go off like this once they set up opinions of their own there's no talking to them why haven't they gone to the stake for their opinions she wouldn't obey the whole bench of bishops in her present frame of mind and if they condescended to talk to her they would only confirm her belief in her own powers she would glory to find herself opposing what she calls her opinions to theirs oh the child is mad mrs. Frailing welled i've said it all along she's quite mad is there any insanity in the family major kahoon asked looking up suspiciously none none whatever mr. Frailing hastened to assure him there has never been a case in fact the women on both sides have always been celebrated for good sense and exceptional abilities for women of course and several of the men have distinguished themselves as you know that does not alter my opinion in the least mrs. Frailing put in a bad knee must be mad she's worse i think major kahoon exclaimed in a tone of deep disgust she's worse than mad she's clever you can do something with a mad woman you can lock her up but a clever woman's the devil and i'd never have thought it off her he added regretfully such a nice quiet little thing as she seemed with hardly a word to say for herself you wouldn't have imagined that she knew what views are let alone having any of her own but that is just the way with women there's no being up to them that is true said mr. Frailing well i don't know where she got them mrs. Frailing protested for i am sure i haven't any but she seems to know so much about everything she declared glancing at the letter at her age i knew nothing i can vouch for that her husband exclaimed he was one of those men who oppose the education of women might and main and they'd jeer at them for knowing nothing it was very particular about the human race when it was likely to suffer by an injurious indulgence on the part of women but when it was a question of extra port wine for himself he never considered the tortures of gout he might be entailing upon his own hapless descendants however there was an excuse for him on this occasion for it is not every day than an irritated man has an opportunity of railing at his wife's incapacity and the inconvenient intelligence of his daughter both in one breath but how has a vadney obtained all this mischievous information i cannot think how she could have obtained it he ejaculated knitting his brows at his wife in a suspicious way as he always did when this important thought recurred to him in such ordinary everyday matters as the management of his estate and his other duties as a county gentleman and also in solid comprehension of the political situation of the period he was by no means wanting but his mind simply circled round and round this business of a vadneys like a helpless swimmer in a whirlpool able to keep afloat but with nothing to take hold of the risk of sending the mind of an elderly gentleman of settled prejudices spinning down the ringing grooves of change at such a rate is considerable during the day he wandered up to the rooms which had been a vadneys they were kept very much as she was accustomed to have them there was that something of bareness about them and a kind of spic and spanness conveying a sense of emptiness and desertion which strikes cold to the heart when it comes of the absence of someone dear and mr frailing felt the discomfort of it the afternoon sunlight slanted across the little sitting room falling on the backs of a row of well-worn books and showing the scars of use and abuse on them without deliberate intention mr frailing followed the ray and read the bold titles by its uncompromising clearness histology pathology anatomy physiology prophylactics therapeutics botany natural history ancient and outspoken history not to mention the modern writers and the various philosophies mr frailing took out a work on sociology opened it read a few passages which of adney had marked and solemnly ejaculated good heavens several times he could not have been more horrified had the books been mademoiselle de motin nana la terre madame bovary and saffo yet had women been taught to read the former and reflect upon them our sacred humanity might have been saved sooner from the depth of degradation depicted in the latter the discovery of these books was an adding of alkali to the acid of mr frailing's disposition at the moment and he went down to look for his wife while he was still effervescing how did a bad knee get them he wanted to know mrs frailing could not conceive she had forgotten all about a bad knees discovery of the box of books in the attic and the sort of general consent she had given when a bad knee worried her for permission to read them she must be a most deceitful girl i shall go and talk to her myself mr frailing concluded and doubtless if only he had had a pair of wings to spread he would presently have appeared sailing over the cathedral into the close at morning quest a portly bird in a frock coat tall hat and a very bad temper but poor gentleman he really was an object for compassion all his ideas of propriety and the natural social order of the universe were being outraged and by his favorite daughter too the one whom everybody thought so like him and in truth she was like him especially in the matter of sticking to her own opinion just the very thing he had no patience with for he detested obstinate people he said so himself he did not go however having preparations to make and a train to wait for gave him time to reflect and perceiving that the interview must inevitably be of a most disagreeable nature he decided to send his wife next day to reason with her daughter mrs frailing came upon a bad knee unawares and the shock it gave the girl to see her mother all miserably agitated and worn with worry was a more powerful point in favor of the success of the latter's mission than any argument would have been the poor lady was handsomely dressed and of a large presence calculated to inspire or in inferior's unaccustomed to it she was a well-preserved woman with even teeth thick brown hair scarcely tinged with gray and a beautiful soft transparent pink and white complexion and a bad knee had always seen her in a state of placid content never really interrupted except by such surface squalls as were caused by having to scold the children or the shedding of a few sunshiny tears and had thought her lovely but when she entered now and had given her daughter the corner of her cheek to kiss for form's sake she sat down with quivering lips and watery eyes all red with crying and a broken up aspect generally which cut the girl to the quick oh mother if adney cried kneeling down on the floor beside her and putting her arms about her grieves me deeply to see you so distressed but mrs frailing held herself stiffly refusing to be embraced and presenting a surface for the operation as unyielding as the figurehead of a ship if you are sincere she said severely you will give up this nonsense at once if adney's arms dropped and she rose to her feet and stood with fingers interlaced in front of her looking down at her mother for a moment and then up at the cathedral a talent for silence came in naturally here you don't say anything because you know there is nothing to be said for you mrs frailing began you've broken my heart of adney indeed you have and after everything had gone off so well too what a tragedy how could you forget and on the very day itself your wedding day just think why we keep ours every year and all your beautiful presence and such a true so i am sure no girl was ever more kindly considered by father mother friends everybody she was obliged to stop short for a moment ideas by which she was not much troubled as a rule had suddenly crowded in so thick upon her when she began to speak that she became bewildered and in an honest attempt to make the most of them all only succeeded in laying hold of an end of each to the great let and hindrance of all coherency as she herself felt when she pulled up yes you may well look up at the cathedral she began again unreasonably provoked by a bad news attitude but what good does it do you i should have supposed at the hallowed associations of this place would have restored you to a better frame of mind i do feel the force of association strongly if adney answered and that is why i shrink from major kahoon people have their associations as well as places and those that cling about him are anything but hallowed mrs frailing assumed an aspect of the deepest depression i never heard a girl talk so in my life she said it is positively and delicate it really is but we have done all we could now honestly have you anything to complain of nothing mother nothing evadni exclaimed oh i wish i could make you understand understand what is there to understand it is easy enough to understand that you have behaved outrageously unwritten letters you ought to be ashamed of quoting a scripture too for your own purposes i cannot think that you are in your right mind evadni i really cannot no girl ever acted so before if only you would read your bible properly and say your prayers you would see for yourself and repent besides what is to become of you we can't have you at home again you know how we are any of us to appear in the neighborhood with the story gets about and of course it must get about if you persist i cannot think and everybody said too how sweet you looked on your wedding day evadni but i said when those children changed clothes it was unnatural and would bring bad luck and there was a terrible gale blowing too and it rained everything went so well up to the very day itself but since then for no reason at all but your own wicked obstinacy all has gone wrong you ought to have been coming back from your honeymoon soon now and here you are in hiding yes literally in hiding like a criminal a shame to be seen it must be a terrible trial for my poor sister olive and a great imposition on her good nature having you here you consider no one and i might have been a grandmother in time too although i don't so much mind about that for i don't think it is any blessing to a military man to have a family they have to move about so much but however all that it seems is over and your poor sisters five of them are curious to know what george is doing all this time at frailing gay and asking questions you cannot have imagined my difficulties or you never would have been so selfish and unnatural i had to box barbara's ears the other day i had indeed and who will marry them now i should like to know if only you had turned roman catholic and gone into a convent or died or never been born oh dear oh dear have adne looked down at her mother again she was very white but she did not utter a word why don't you speak this is frailing exclaimed why do you stand there like a stone or statue deaf to all my arguments if adne side mother i will do anything you suggest except the one thing i will not live with major kahoon as his wife she said i thought so this is frailing exclaimed you will do everything but what you ought to do it is just what your father says once you over educate a girl you can do nothing with her she gives herself such airs and you have managed to over educate yourself somehow although how remains a mystery but one thing i am determined upon your poor sisters shall never have a book i don't know off by heart myself i shall lock them all up not that it is much use for no one will marry them now no man will ever come to the house again to be robbed of his character as major kahoon has been by you i am sure no one ever knew anything bad about him at least i never did whatever your father may have done until you went and ferreted all those dreadful stories out you are shameless of adne you really are and what good have you done by it all i should like to know when you might have done so much too mrs frailing paused here and adne looked up at the cathedral again feeling for her pitifully this new view of her mother was another terrible disillusion and the more the poor lady exposed herself the greater of adne felt was the claim she had upon her filial tenderness why don't you say something mrs frailing recommends mother what can i say if you knew what a time i have had with your father and your husband you would pity me i can assure you george has been so sullen there was no doing anything with him and the trouble i have had and the excuses i have made for you i am quite worn out he said if you were that kind of girl you might go and i've had to go down on my knees to him almost to make him forgive you and now i will go down on my knees to you she exclaimed acting on a veritable inspiration and suiting the action to the word to beg you for the sake of your sisters and for the love of god not to disgrace us all oh mother no don't do that get up to get up this is too dreadful if adne cried almost hysterically here i shall kneel until you give in mrs frailing sobbed clasping her hands in the attitude of prayer to her daughter and conscious of the strength of her position adne tried in vain to raise her her bonnet had slipped to one side her dress had been caught up by the heels of her boots and the souls were showing behind her mantle was disarranged she was a figure for a farce but adne saw only her own mother shaken with sobs on her knees before her mother mother she cried sinking into a chair and covering her face with her hands to hide the dreadful spectacle tell me what i am to do suggest something if you would even consent mrs frailing began gathering herself up slowly and standing over her daughter if you would even consent to live in the same house with him until you get used to him and forget all this nonsense i am sure he would agree for he is dreadfully afraid of scandal of adne i never knew a man more so in fact he shows nothing but right and proper feeling and you will love him as much as ever again when you know him better and get over all these exaggerated ideas do consent to this dear child for my sake you shall have your own way in everything else and i will arrange it all for you and get his written promise to allow you to live in his house quite independently like brother and sister as long as you like and there will be no awkwardness for you whatever do my child do consent to this and the poor old lady knelt once more and put her arms about her daughter and wept aloud if adne broke down the sight of the dear face so distorted the poor lips quivering the kind eyes all swollen and blurred with tears was too much for her and she flung her arms around her mother's neck and cried i can't send mother for your sake to keep up appearances but only that mother you promise me you will arrange all that i promise you my dear i promise mrs frailing rejoined rising with alacrity her countenance clearing on the instant her heart swelling with the joy and pride of a great victory she knew she had done what the whole bench of bishops could not have done nor that most remarkable man her husband either for the matter of that and she enjoyed her triumph as she had anticipated major kahoon made no difficulty about the arrangement i should not care a rap for an unwilling wife he said let her go her way and i'll go mine all i want now is to keep up appearances it would be a just nasty thing for me if the story got about fellows would think there was more in it than there is but she will come around said mrs frailing if only you are nice to her and i'm sure you will be she's sure to come around of course she will mr frailing decided and major kahoon smiled complacently he often asserted that there was no knowing women but he took credit to himself for a superior knowledge of the sex all the same end of book one chapter 16 chapter 17 of the heavenly twins this is a liver vox recording all liver vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit liver vox.org recording by judy guinen the heavenly twins by sarah grand chapter 17 before writing the promise which evident required major kakron begged to be allowed to have an interview with her and to this also she consented at her mother's urn of solicitation although the idea of it went very much against the grain she perceived however that the first meeting must be awkward in any case and she was one of those energetic people who when there is a disagreeable thing to be done do it and get it over with it once so she strengthened her mind by adding a touch of severity to her costume and sat herself down in the drawing room with a book on her lap when the morning came well-nerved for the interview her heart began to beat unpleasantly when he rang and she heard him in the hall doubtless inquiring for her at the sound of his voice she arose from her seat involuntarily and stood literally awaiting in fear and trembling the dreadful moment of meeting what a horrible sensation she ejaculated mentally colonel Cochrane the servant announced he entered with an air of displeasure he could not conceal and bowed to her from a distance stiffly but although she looked hard at him she could not see him so great was her interpretation it was she however who was the first to speak I I'm nervous she gasping her hands and holding them out to him piteously colonel Cochrane relaxed it flattered his vanity to perceive that this curiously well-informed and exceedingly strong-minded young lady became as weakly emotional as any ordinary school girl the moment she found herself face to face with him there's nothing to be afraid of he blindly assured her will you sit down evident managed to mumble dropping into her own chair again from sheer inability to stand any longer colonel Cochrane took a seat at an exaggerated distance from her his idea was to impress her with a sense of his extreme delicacy but the act had a contrary effect upon her his manners had been perfect so far as she had hitherto seen them but thus to emphasize an already sufficiently awkward position was not good taste and she registered the fact against him after they were seated there was a painful pause evident net her brows and cast about in her mind for something to say suddenly the fact that the maid had announced him is Colonel Cochrane reoccurred to her have you been promoted she asked very naturally yes he answered I congratulate you she faltered again he bowed stiffly but evident was recovering herself she could look at him now and it surprised her to find that he was not in appearance the monster she had been picturing him no more a monster indeed than he had seemed before she knew of his past until now however except for that one glimpse in the carriage she had always seen him through such a haze of feeling as to make the scene practically null and void so far as any perception of his true character might be gathered from his appearance and useless for anything really but ordinary purposes of identification now however that the misty veil of passion was withdrawn from her eyes the man whom she had thought noble she sought to be merely big the face which had seemed to beam with intellect certainly remain fine featured still but it was like the work of a talented artist when it lacks the perfectly perceptible indefinable finishing touch of genius that would have raised it above criticism and drawn you back to it again but wanting which after the first glance of admiration interest fails and you pass on only convinced of a certain cleverness a thing that soon satiates without satisfying evident had seen soul in her lover's eyes but now they struck her as hard shallow glittering and obtrusively blue and she noticed that his forehead although high shelved back abruptly to the crown of his head which dipped down again sheer to the back of his neck a very precipice without a single boss upon which to rest a hope of some saving grace in the way of eminent social qualities thank heaven I see you as you are in time thought evident Colonel Cochran was the next to speak I shall be able to give you a rather a better position now he said yes she replied but she did not at all appreciate the advantage because she had never known what it was to be an in an inferior position may I speak to you with reference to our future relations he continued she bowed a kind of cold ascent then looked at him expectantly her eyes opening wide and her heart thumping horribly in the very natural perturbation which again seized upon her as they approached the subject yet in spite of her quite perceptible agitation there was both dignity and determination in her attitude and Colonel Cochran meeting the unflinching glance direct became suddenly aware of the fact that the timid little lovesick girl with half shut sleepy eyes he had had such a fancy for and this young lady modestly shrinking in every inch in her sensitive frame but undaunted in spirit nevertheless were two very different people there had been misapprehension of character on both sides it seemed but he liked pluck and by Joe the girl was handsomer than he had imagined views or no views he would lay siege to her senses in earnest there would be some satisfaction in such a conquest is there no hope for me evident he pleaded none none she burst out impetuously becoming desperate in her embarrassment but I cannot discuss the subject I beg you will let it drop her one idea was to get rid of this big blonde man who gazed at her with an expression in his eyes from which now that her own passion was dead she shrunk in revolt again Colonel Cochran bowed stiffly as you please he said my only wish is to please you he paused for a reply but as evident had nothing more to say he was obliged to recommence the regiment he said is going to Malta at once and I must go with it and what I would venture to suggest is that you should follow when you feel inclined by P&O fellows will understand that I don't care to have you come out on a troop ship and I should like to get your rooms fitted up for you too before you arrive I'm anxious to do all in my power to meet your wishes I will make every arrangement with that end in view and if you can suggest anything yourself that does not occur to me I shall be glad you had better bring an English mate out with you or a German French women are flighty he got up as he said this and added you'll like Malta I think it is a bright little place and very jolly in the season evident rose to thank you she said you are showing me more consideration than I have a right to expect and I'm sure to be satisfied with any arrangement you may think it right to make I will telegraph to you when my arrangements for your reception are completely concluded and I think that is all I can think of nothing else she answered goodbye then he said goodbye she rejoined and I wish you a pleasant voyage and all possible success with your regiment thank you answered putting his heels together and making her a profound bow as he spoke so they parted and he went his way through the old cathedral closed with that set expression of continents which he had worn when he first became aware of her flight but curiously enough although he had no atom of loverlike feeling left for her and the amount of thought she had displayed in her letters had shocked his most cherished prejudices on the subject of her sex she had gained in his estimation he liked her pluck he felt she could be nothing but a credit to him she remained for a few seconds as he had left her listening to his footsteps in the hall and shutting of the door and then from where she stood she saw him pass and watched him out of sight a fine figure of a man certainly and she sighed she had been touched by his consideration and thought at a pity that such a kindly disposition should be unsupported by the solid qualities which alone could command her lasting respect and affection she walked to the window and stood there drumming idly on the glass thinking over the conclusion they had come to for some time after Colonel Cochran had disappeared she felt it to be a lame one and she was far from satisfied but what under the circumstances would have been a better arrangement the persistent question contained in itself its own answer only the prospect was blank blank the excitement of the contest was over now the reaction had set in she ventured to look forward and seeing for the first time what was before her the long dark dreary level of a hopelessly unconjunial existence reaching from here to eternity as it seemed from her present point of view her overwrought nerves gave way and when Mrs. Orton Begg came to her a moment later she threw herself into her arms and sobbed hysterically oh anti i have suffered horribly i wish i were dead end of chapter 17 recording by Julie Kainan