 Hi everyone, I'm Ed Baker and I'm your host producer at the addiction recovery channel or ARC. ARC is a TV show that's dedicated to enhancing public knowledge, specifically with regard to people with substance use disorder, their treatments and their recoveries. The idea is that if we can reduce stigma and encourage people to feel compassion and understanding that we will in fact be contributing to saving lives. And this is what the show is all about. I couldn't be happier today to have as our guest, Barbara Rabtoi. Thank you, Barbara, for being on the show. Thank you. Barbara is a person with the lived experience of addiction, lived experience of recovery. And she's also involved in what's known as a recovery friendly workplace. And that will be the topic of our show today. So Barbara, when we talk leading into this part, this interview, one of the things that you said was important to you was to get a summary of your addiction and its consequences. So I guess we can just start right off there. Would you like to do that? Yeah, that's fine. My addiction started about 11 and a half years ago, after I got into a car accident, I ended up getting addicted to pills. The addiction of that just led to heroin. And then after that was back and forth between crack and alcohol. When I finally went to Gale two and a half years ago, I ended up getting clean and I've been clean since then. Beautiful, beautiful. So when you went into prison, you began abstaining from drugs. And then you came, when did you come out of prison? September 9th of 2019. So you came out of prison September 9th of 2019 and you've been clean or drug free ever since? Correct. That's really something. Congratulations, congratulations. That is a wonderful accomplishment. And I understand that because I'm a person in recovery too. And in the beginning, you count the days, then you count the months, then you start counting the years and then it becomes a way of life. Is it a way of life for you now? Yes, it is. I can't imagine my life being like it used to be. I have way too much going for me now. Beautiful, beautiful. You know, one of the questions that you wanted me to ask you was the greatest question ever. Why is your sobriety so important to you? Because I'm finally able to pay my bills. I'm able to pay my rent. I'm able to take care of my animal. I'm able to go buy myself stuff. I'm just, life is much better like this. Couldn't have been better said. Life is much better like this, sure is. Did I cut you off there? Was there something else you wanted to add? No, you're good. Okay, all right. So let's just focus one second on that, taking care of your animal part. You wanna talk a little bit about Chuckie? Chuckie is my main coon cat. He's about a year old. I just got all his vaccines, which cost me about $100. I just got him neutered and microchipped and that's about a $400 bill. During my addiction, there's no way I could have afforded this. Now that I'm not, don't have an addiction anymore, well, I do, but I'll always have that addiction. But now that I'm not actively using anymore, I can afford to take care of my animal as well. He has my kid. And that's really what you want to do, isn't it? It is. Yeah, so many times we, with addiction, we're prevented from doing the thing is we really wanna do down deep inside. We can't do them because the addiction has us. And when we're free from the addiction, we finally get to be the people we can be, like the best people we can be. So I understand that and I identify with that. Now, I understand that you were on a social security SSDI and you made a transition from social security to employment. And that's when you began at Westminster Cracker Company. Is that the name of the place that you work? Westminster Cracker Factory. Westminster Cracker Factory. And one of the things that's happened since then that's coming up very, very soon is that you are gonna convert from being an employee under the umbrella of working fields to a full-time regular employee at Westminster Cracker Factory. Is that true? That is correct. I couldn't be more excited. Yeah, can you talk a little bit about that and how that accomplishment feels to you? Well, I was in a car accident back in 2006 and I was on disability for about 10 years. My disability just ended in November and I said, okay, I have to make up this money. So I came to working fields, which is a great temp agency. They were able to help me get a job. I worked at this job since about December and now I'm converting full-time to the company. I love it. And doesn't that say a lot about you that in a very short period of time with some support from working fields and we'll go into that, but in a very short period of time with some support from working fields the management of the company noticed and said, okay, Barbara, we want you to work here. You are a good employee. Is that the case? Yes, it is. Actually my supervisor has been wanting me to be a full-time employee since like two weeks after I started. That's really good. She says she saw right away. We got to get this one working here. Don't let her find any jobs anywhere else, right? Yes. How does that feel to you? What does that feel like to you? Really good. It's actually like amazing. Like I can just see the change in myself and it just keeps getting better and better each day. Yeah, beautiful. So I mean, we call it self-esteem, self-worth. Is that how you relate to it? It's like the way you feel about yourself down deep inside, you're feeling good. Yes, I have a lot more self-esteem, a lot more self-confidence. I actually feel like I have a purpose now that I have a job. I'm actually an essential worker because we make crackers and actually a good feeling. You are a worker. And so many times, I mean, what I've seen and you've probably seen it too, people with substance use disorder and recovery from substance use disorder. If an employer finds out about that, sometimes they can be very prejudiced towards you, not give you the job, not interview you again, fire you. There's been a lot of that that's gone on historically. The company I work for is actually a recovery-friendly place to work for. Talk about that for a minute. What is that? Describe that to me. What's recovery-friendly place? What is that? They understand about drug recovery. They actually have people that are in recovery themselves. And if they hire people who really can't get jobs anywhere else because of addiction and being in trouble with that, Westminster will hire you and they'll help keep your life on track. I'm just so impressed by that. Bravo to that company. I just really think that's so important. So in other words, if I'm working there and I'm having a hard time with something, maybe a friend of mine texted me and said, I've got this or I've got that. And all of a sudden I'm kind of just thinking about whatever drug it is. I can maybe call my, go to my manager and say, hey, listen, I need to call my recovery coach. I need a few minutes. Oh yeah, he would let you. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, that's really something. That's really something. My supervisor is amazing. Beautiful. So you don't feel like you really have to be ashamed or have a secret or you're hiding anything from anybody. You could be yourself. Yep. My past is my past. All I look forward to is a new me in the future. Oh, I like that so much. And don't you have, don't they have like a recovery coach that is there to kind of help you or that you can get to if you need to to help you with problems you might be having either related to the job or not related to the job. Is that true? Working fields, they do. And you have access to that person? Yes, I do. Anytime I need to call them. Has that been a good relationship for you? Has that been an important relationship to you? Yes, actually it has. Good, good, good. I think that's really important. Now, you know, one of the things that is beautiful about what's happening with you because I know we've talked a little bit leading up to this conversation is your relationship with your children. So first, let me say that what are their names and their ages? Kately is 16, Cameron's 11 and my twins Zoe and Dominic are 10. Twins, I mean, that's a lot of kids you have. Yeah, four kids and two of them are the same age. And their brother is only 14 months older. Wow, wow. Now, you know, I know that, I know that this is a little bit of a sensitive emotional part for you, but it's so important for us to take a look at this because the way you've handled this is so beautiful, Barbara. Your children are being adopted by your mother. Is that the case? That's correct. They went to live with my mom a few years ago. They're happy, they're healthy, they're safe. They want, this is what my children want. I'm not in a place, yes, I may be in recovery, but I still working on getting my life together and I'm still not in the place where I could properly take care of them. So it's what my children want is for my mother to adopt them. So they're happy, they're safe, they're healthy. And I still have contact with them, so it's fine. You're very, you're very fortunate. You're very, you're very fortunate. And then I admire your, the thought and the love that went into that decision that you've made. So that must be wonderful knowing that your children are safe, that they're in the family, that they're with your mother. Now, isn't there something else going on that's really important? And I think I wrote down that it was, I think it's in four months and seven days. Isn't something really good going to happen? Four months and nine days and I maxed out after five years. What does that mean, maxed out? What does that mean? It means I'm off from parole. There is no probation, no parole, nothing. I am free again. So you'll really be free. You'll be free of drugs and you'll be free of supervision. And what else comes with that? Isn't there like a travel privilege? I can leave the state and I can go see my kids in South Carolina. I was going to ask you, I was going to ask you, where's the first place you're going to go when you can leave the state? South Carolina. So good, so good. You know, and the plan on, I guess like we all do as parents, spending some of that money that we make on our kids. You know, is that one of the things that you're looking forward to? Yes, I mean, I've always still been able to support my kids, even while they're at my mom's. I've still gotten birthday presents and Christmas presents. Yeah, yeah. Well, this is going to be great. I can't even tell you how happy I am for you and how good it sounds. I know what it's like to have an addiction. I know what it's like to have a probation officer, you know, constantly checking up on me. And I know what it's like to be freeing. So congratulations and you deserve it. And you've earned it. That's the important part, you've earned it. We all make mistakes, but we shouldn't be defined by the worst mistake we ever made. You know, we should be able to free ourselves from that. Past is a past or a reason. I like that. Now, I know that all your children are equally loved by you, but I also know that one of them is having a truly exceptional accomplishment occur. Do you want to talk about that a little bit? My 10-year-old Zoe, one of the twins, I'm more excited than she is actually. She just made world championships in archery, not state and not national. She already beat them. She's going to world championships. I'm more excited than she is. She doesn't understand how exciting and important this actually is. I love it. This is really something. How did this happen? Are you an archer? I mean, did she get it? How did that happen? I don't know. I guess she just wanted to try it and she loved it. She's an athlete, just like I was. Were you an athlete? I was, I played soccer, lacrosse and I was a cheerleader. So that's how it happened. She's an athlete, just like you. Yep. That's such a, like a precise form of like, you know, getting an arrow in the bullseye, you know, a hundred yards away. I mean, that is incredible. Where are these competitions going to take place? Where does she go for that? I think they said they are actually having one right there in South Carolina. Oh, okay, good. Good for her. Good for her. I'm really happy for you. And you're like a proud mom and you shouldn't be. It's the greatest thing. Now, there's also, I guess there's one other thing that I wanted to look into. You used to work at Elphin Lake? Yep, when I was 14, that was my first job ever. And did you inscribe something on a wall down there? Yeah, when I first worked there, I actually was able to put a picture of a flower and write my name and the day I worked there on the wall. And it's still there 20 years later. This was back in 2004. I feel really cool to still see it. What does that mean to you, Barbara? That actually I did something right back when I was a teenager for my addiction. I'm sure you did. I'm sure you did. And that's some of some things in life. I mean, I believe we all have our beliefs. Some things in life are timeless. That's a timeless thing. And I'm a person with addiction, Barbara, so I understand. And I like to think sometimes that little Eddie, the kid before he got addicted, I was maybe 13, 14 years old, 15 years old, little Eddie, the good kid, that my addiction lasted 23 years. That when I came out the other end, I picked little Eddie up, right where I left him off. And he's with me today. Do you feel like that about little Barbara? For the most part, I was in a car accident back in 2006. A lot of my memory is gone from childhood, but as much as I remember, I'm getting back to where I used to be. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. You know, so I think this is, we could probably begin to end our talk now. I wanted to give you the opportunity. Is there anything that you wanted to talk about that I may have missed that you wanna add at this point? I don't think so at the moment. Okay, well, I'm gonna close with this. I wanna tell you something. I wanna tell you something that I see people with addiction as, you know, unfortunately in the darkness. And that's where I was. The people in active addiction in the darkness. And, you know, when we're in the darkness, it's very hard to see light. But when I see people like you and people like me, people who have come through addiction and who are willing to speak about it, as really as beacons of hope for those still in the darkness. And that's the way the show will go out. This show will go out featuring you as one of the guests as a beacon of hope, you know, shining the way for those of us that are still in darkness. Kind of like if you would envision it like a North Star of example. You're an example to people who think they can't do it. They don't know how to do it, or they'll never do it, or it's too much. You did it. You did it, you know, so I wanna leave you with that. I wanna thank you for your courage for coming on the show because I don't think it's easy.