 Cathy and Elliot Lewis on stage. Cathy Lewis, Elliot Lewis. Two of the most distinguished names in radio. Appearing each week in their own theater. Starring in a repertory of transcribed stories of their own and your choosing. Radio's foremost players in radio's foremost plays. Drama, comedy, adventure, mystery, melodrama. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elliot Lewis. Good evening. May I present my wife, Cathy? Good evening. A thief and his money are soon parted. What was that? A misquote. It should be a fool, but I want to explain something about tonight's story. Which is called Dig the Thief and is about a man named John Digby, played by you. And his adventures in the state of New Mexico with a lovely girl named Cecily, played by you. The script was written by Morton Fine and David Friedkin. And, as a matter of fact, there are several thieves involved. I'm not the only one. But to find that out, we dig the thief. Oh, there! Oh! Well, there it is. There's the town. Spread out like she is. Like a little jewel in the valet. Can I say something, Mr. Digby? It's allowed. I never saw the town as old as looking so pretty. Full of moon and all. All the people sleeping peaceful. Ain't gonna last long, is it? As long as I've been hanging around the ranch, Mr. Digby, we never had a chivalry like this. Are you sure of something? Well, good to have you aboard. Is the Jameson girl okay? I'm right here beside you, Mr. Digby. I'm fine. Riding the way you said, posting the way you said, you know, works out real nice. Well, pass the word back. Get ready. Get ready. Get ready. What? Get ready. Oh, get ready. All set, Mr. Digby. All set then. All right. Well, let's go! You can get back to the ranch. And you, Digby, you can drop dead. What do I do? He didn't do anything. See? You've been chewing local weeds, Digby. What are they? You take a bunch of guests from a dude ranch. You shoot up the town of Otis. What do you... You used blacks, Mr. Cornel. I told you to take the guests from Moonlight Rad. I told you no hanky-panky, Digby. I specifically told you. I remember saying it. I can recall you were leaning up against the corral fence, chopping on a straw, and covering up the turf. And I told you... Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Now I remember. Uh, Mr. Cornel. You're fired. Mr. Cornel. When you hired me to take charge of guest relations, you said I could have a free reign. You impressed me with the importance of recreating the Old West. I also told you no hanky-panky. Well, that's the kind of ombre you are. Noted for it. Okay, Mr. Cornel. Three days I worked for you. $15 a day. That means you owe me five. Your bail was 50. Well, we'll pay for him, won't we, fellas? Yeah, sure, sure. What? You're always so sleepy, Mr. Southgate. We are taking a collection for Digby. $5. Oh, I'll pass the word. We're taking a collection... Oh, here's a five bucks. It'll be worth it. You happy now, Mr. Cornel? Get out of here, Digby. Get back to the ranch. Get your gear and get. I was walking the street some blue rail. Hey, how about a lift? Hey, are you... Hey, you're going my... You betcha. Get in. You can sit up front with me. Oh, that's fine. You know what? Begin to think this ride would never come. I'm sorry. I was a little late leaving the Hacienda. Uh... Ask you a question? Sure. What tribe you come from? Apache. Left the reservation last year. How's tricks? Can't complain. What are you doing now? You know. Yeah. You know, took up a trade at the reservation school. Learned how to drive a Cadillac. Got a job. All the boys are doing that now. All the boys still wearing long braids like you? Oh, that's Mr. Ramsey's idea. For local color. You know how Mr. Ramsey is. Mr. Ramsey? How he is? Oh, well, sure. Sure glad I caught you else. Mr. Ramsey would have... Well, you know... Oh, had your bite and dust, eh? What's that? Uh, you got a cigarette? If you like cork tip. Yeah, sure. Here. Yeah, thanks. Oh, Mr. Ramsey, sure gonna be glad to see you. Just walk right up there into the house. You're expected. Thanks a lot, chiefie. Get along, we're due. Thank you. Oh, howdy. Please come in. Mm-hmm. I'm Cecily Ramsey. Of course. Uh, how's Mr. Ramsey? Fine. Dad and I just came in from a gallop. He's tethering the horses. Uh, Dad's tethering them? He never lets anyone else do it. Well... Well, what? Well, I hope I'm not interrupting anything. Oh, no, no. Oh, what's the matter? Why are you staring at me? I'm sorry. You're not the type. That's all. Oh. Please don't do that. It scuffs the rugs. Oh, sorry. No, you're not the type at all. Well, I've had the virus. A fellow who goes around digging in tombs like you do. What? I guess it's silly of me, Mr. Honeywell, but I expected someone dusty. And with a peth helmet. Oh. Don't do that. The rugs. Yeah, I'm sorry. You're the most bashful archaeologist I ever saw. Oh. Well, we don't come up very often. That's why. All this sunlight. Phew. Must be very interesting work, though. Oh, my, yes. Digging up artifacts. Well, that's the best part. Oh, you and Dennis will get along just fine. Dennis? My fiancee. Daddy wrote you about him, sure. Oh, oh, that Dennis. Yeah, Dennis. I can hardly wait to meet him. Is he here? He's flying in. Dennis is flying in, is he? As soon as he heard. Oh. About the pots. Oh, of course. You'll be here the first thing in the morning. You two will get along. Well, he's so very interesting. Like you. Oh, well, sure. That's because he's in... Archaeology. Archaeology, sure. Oh, he's just a student. He's at Harvard, you know, majoring in archaeology, but he's having such a difficult time. Oh. You know, this is the second time he's repeating a Syrian tombs one. Well, no wonder. That's the hardest part. Oh. Hey, Clay. Certainly, where are you? In here. Look who's here, Daddy. Well, hello, young man. Howdy. Good. Very good. You're Honeywell, aren't you? I've made arrangements that Mr. Honeywell take the spare suite in the West Wing. Good. Very good. Now, uh, you run along, Cecily. Mr. Honeywell and I have a lot to talk about. I remember we were having such an interesting conversation. Isn't he the youngest archaeologist ever? And with such a reputation. Yeah. Uh, don't do that with the rug, Honeywell. Oh, sorry. Run along, Cecily. You'll see Mr. Honeywell at dinner. Bye, Mr. Honeywell. Yeah, bye, ma'am. Well, Honeywell, let me take a look at you. Yes, sir. Sir, indeed, sir. You'll do, you'll do fine. Now, uh, look, Mr. Ramsey, my time's pretty valuable. There's digging to be done. You'll do, you'll do fine. Yes, siri, yes, siri. Archaeologists come high. There's a lot of education, supplies, pit helmets and all. I wrote you in the letter 10%, didn't I? Uh, 10%? Well, yeah. I just dropped in today to tell you it wasn't enough. All the way from Chicago? Well, I was passing by anyhow on my way to Pultepec. Uh, Inca country, you know. Okay. Make it 15%. Ah, well, that's a lot better. Come on. I'll show them to you. This way. I bet you. Ah. Yeah. Well, what have you got to say? I hardly know. I thought so. Stunners, aren't they? All three. Have you ever seen better examples of prehistoric Indian pottery in your life? Hardly ever. Those pots are 4, 5,000 years old, wouldn't you say? Oh, give a little, take a little. Without a crack. Well, I really build them in those days. I think we can get 10 grand a piece for them. Yeah. 10 grand sounds fair, especially since the ceiling's off. Huh? Uh, which one do you like? Who cares? Oh, that middle one's my favorite. Black buffalo's too. Who's he? The Indian boy that made him. Four or 5,000 years ago? Last Thursday. Now, remember, my daughter thinks they're yours. You shipped him ahead. That's the story in case anyone asks. You mind if I ask you a question, Mr. Ramsey? Well, how else are you going to know? Who's going to give you 10,000 a piece for last Thursday's pots? Have you ever heard of Harvard boy? Dennis, your daughter's fiance? Loaded boy. And I'm the archeologist who's going to tell him they're worth 10,000. He worships you. Why, that boy rocks himself to sleep reading your pamphlets. Yeah, but these pots are phony. They fooled you, didn't they, anyway? Well, flash judgment. I didn't put the calipers on them or even, uh... Phony? Yeah, well, these Harvard boys haven't got your ear. And Dennis is loaded, huh? Four million, and he ain't real bright. He collects old crocs. So he's my intended son-in-law. I shouldn't speak too harshly. He's a fine boy, great swimmer. Always swims underwater. Remarkable. And you're going to swindle him out of $30,000? We are. You and me. For 20% I am. Listen, you, I found out about you. You've got a good reputation, but you haven't got two shovels to rub together. Take it or leave it. I'll take it. Fine. Well, what time's dinner, sir, Mr. Ransey? You are listening to Kathy and Elliot Lewis on stage. Tonight's play, Dig the Thief. In your town, in the next town across the nation, you'll find the Red Cross. But the Red Cross is above and beyond all boundary lines, for it is infinite in its scope. In time of hardships, epidemics, floods, fires, the Red Cross is the symbol and soul of humanity. You are part of that symbol, because it is the money you contribute that enables the Red Cross to continue its great work. Answer the call, and humanity will answer you with gratitude. Hey, Miss Cecily. Hi. Good morning. Good morning. What are you doing out here so early? Scanning the horizon. Where? Anyplace, the whole horizon, for Dennis. He's arriving this morning. He flies, you know. Oh? His own plane. He'd be furious if he knew I was scanning for him. Oh? He doesn't like people to watch. Swims a lot underwater, you know. Well, things like that you have to respect, Miss Cecily. Why don't we just take a walk, work up an appetite for breakfast, see the haze on the gore. You know, walk. I'd love to. Let's. What should we talk about? Adiak. Who? Adiak. Dennis was telling me about the remarkable work you did there. Must be so fascinating working in those old excavations. You're well. There's no excavation like an old excavation. Dennis always says that, too. He must have read it in one of my pamphlets. That was the title of one of your pamphlets, don't you remember? Oh, Miss Cecily, let's not talk about old ruins. Let's talk about you. Why? I'm really nothing here. No, no, I must tell you something. It's amazing, and perhaps you won't believe it, but it's true. When I dug up the sarcophagus of a wondrous and beautiful Egyptian princess... No, don't walk. Stay here. I really must tell you about it. All right. On her tomb was painted her portrait, unbelievably beautiful with a serenity almost goddess-like. The first time I saw you, I said to myself, Princess Osiris of the seventh moon. You want to wade? What? Let's take off our moccasins and wade. That's just what I've been trying to say, Miss Cecily. Let's take off our moccasins and wade. Isn't this wonderful? I haven't had a cold foot bath before breakfast since Antioch. You better hold my hand, Mr. Honeywell. Oh, fine. Thank you, yes. Isn't this wonderful? Dennis never goes in here with me. But you love him anyhow, don't you? Very much. Why? He's sweet. He's charming. And really, he's only bashful when other people are around, when Dennis and I are alone. Don't tell me about it. He's a very gentle boy, that's all. Mr. Honeywell. He really, that's Daddy. Yes, I know. Mr. Honeywell. Here. Here we are, Daddy. How did he get you in that stream, Cecily? It was my idea, Daddy. What's the matter? Get your shoes on, Honeywell, and come with me. You ought to try this, Mr. Ramsey. I was just telling your daughter when I was an Antioch. You heard what I said. Get your shoes on. Something's happened, Mr. Honeywell. You still haven't told me what's the matter, Mr. Ramsey? In here, in the library. Hello. Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Mr. Honeywell. Oh, no, you're not. Well, heck, I'm not. I'm Honeywell, the archeologist. Oh, no, you're not. Sure I am. You just asked Mr. Ramsey here. Oh, no, you're not. Two against one, huh? All right. Who am I? Who are you? Eliminate Honeywell. I'm Honeywell. I ask you a question. Who are you? Your chauffeur said I was Honeywell. Your daughter said I was Honeywell. You said I was Honeywell. Now, I'm all confused. My chauffeur was supposed to pick up Mr. Honeywell in front of that dude ranch yesterday. He picked you up. So we all thought you were Honeywell. How dare this young man assume... Shut up, Honeywell. Yes. You assume Mr. Honeywell's identity. You assumed it for me, Ramsey. Let's not turn blue over a mistake you made. I must say, Mr. Ramsey, the whole thing is your chauffeur's fault. Just because I arrived at the dude ranch a few hours later... Yes, sir. Now, you. What's your real name? Digby, Johnny Digby. And you're Honeywell, the dishonest archeologist. I won't be called dishonest. Your profession's robbing graves, isn't it? Very old graves. Nobody wants them anyhow. All I can say is you fellas have got yourselves in a bind. Here you are going to cheat Dennis out of $30,000. First boy. Mm-hmm, yes. Stop at the kitchen and have the cook fix your real chuck wagon lunch. Then blow. A real big bind. And here's $50 for your trouble. That all right with you, Mr. Honeywell? I don't care if I never see you again, sir. But think what would happen to your reputation if I went out and spread it around among your buddies of the shovel that you were party to a fraud. That you verified that last Thursday's pots were old Indian relics. How about that? How, Mr. Honeywell? I really must go, Mr. Ramsey. Hey, now, wait a minute. This young man is perfectly right. Now, listen, Honeywell, we had a deal. Those pots in the closet were supposed to be your pots. Dennis will take your word for it that they're authentic. $10,000 a piece. Now, you can't run out on me now. Really, Mr. Ramsey? Really what? Really, I must go. Hello, Mr. Ramsey. Hello, Mr. Honeywell. Name's Digby. Boy, boy. Johnny Digby. A flat fee, $1,000. Oh, listen. Now, come here to the window. Plane overhead. Get away from the window. Dennis don't like anybody to watch. Dennis don't, huh? What were you saying, Ramsey? A flat fee, $1,000. Last night you offered me 20% of $30,000. I offered that to Honeywell. Who am I? How are you, Mr. Honeywell? Very well, thank you. I'm just fine. I'll take $6,000, please. Loud question. Write your check. Please do. Make it out to John Digby. Here you are, boy. Ramsey. Yes? You signed Honeywell's name to the check. I did. Sounds like Dennis' plane is coming in for a landing, Ramsey. I'd hate to disillusion Dennis about his future father-in-law. You'd better write me another check, hm? Digby, you're the biggest thief in the state of New Mexico. You write the check, sign your name, then call your chauffeur. I want to get to the bank and cash this check before I say hello to Dennis. As a matter of fact, in the whole Southwest. Write the check, Ramsey. This is Dennis. Put her there. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to meet you to plane, Dennis. But I had to stop at the bank. Mr. Honeywell. Yes? Mr. Honeywell. Oh, yes? Gee. No, don't mention it. Oh, I must. Your last paper, the one on the Ptolemies of Egypt. Yes, it had a certain style, didn't it? The way you just looked at that sand dune in the middle of the Sahara and made an X on the sands and said, Dig here. Oh, that was the most... Well, everybody mess, everybody else? They're talking. Oh, sorry. Mr. Ramsey, my intended father-in-law. Dad-to-be. My boy. When he wrote that you would be here expressly to meet me. Well, I... Well, what, Dennis? And when Mr. Ramsey, my intended father-in-law... Dad-to-be. Of course. When he told me that he was interceding in my behalf and that the pot could be bought for only $30,000. Oh, your dad-to-be drives a hard bargain. Of course you know I would have paid twice that much. Mr. Honeywell, may I see you for a minute? What for? Well, if Dennis feels the old pots are underpriced, we don't want to take advantage of you. That's all. No, no, no, no, no. My pleasure. I know they'll be in good hands. We're going to have a place in New York. We've got a spot in the living room for them. A niche, Cecily. A niche. Oh. Daddy's been keeping them from me. I haven't seen them yet. Well, Dennis... I guess now is as good a time as any. Well, let's take a look, Ramsay. Right. This way, next door to the sunroom. Mr. Honeywell and I made a display. Dennis, my boy, what do you think? Oh, my. Feel that quality, Dennis. Wait till my friends at Harvard see these. Here, we keep them away from the hasty pudding boys. And only $30,000. Oh, I feel like a thief. If you've forgotten your checkbook, boy. Oh, no. I brought along a certified check. For $30,000. Of course. Made out to Mr. Honeywell. Oh, good. Here. And thank you. Thank you so much. You're quite welcome. Honeywell, what are you doing? Dennis, he tore up the check. Oh, it was too good to be true. Dennis will pay you any price. These two kids have got to fill their niches, Honeywell. Dennis. Yes, sir. Will you go $40,000? Yes, sir. Honeywell, $40,000. Take it or leave it. Cecily. I hate you. Oh, I don't hate you. What do you want? Cecily, I think you're one of the loveliest young ladies I've ever met. How much do you want, Mr. Honeywell? Nothing. Oh, no. I don't understand you. I don't understand him either, Cecily. All the trouble he went through digging out these perfect examples of- Cecily. What? They're yours. A wedding present. From me to you. Oh, I can't accept them. No, of course you can't. I'm going to be your father-in-law, and I say you can't accept them. It's-it's impossible. Cecily. You're a very sweet man. I want you to have them. Yes. I'd like to kiss you, Mr. Honeywell. I wish you would. Well, thank you. Bless you both, my children. This has been the most touching day of our lives. Hasn't it been Dennis? Mr. Honeywell. Yes, Dennis. You're a very superior man. I was walking the streets of Laredo. Hey, how about a lift? Uh-huh. Hop in. Yeah, thank you. Where you headed? Texas. Nice place, Texas. I used to think so, but maybe I ain't going to like it anymore. Got a couple hundred acres north of Amarillo. Used to be peaceful there. Not going to be peaceful no more. Oh, what's the matter? You called me this morning in Albuquerque where I was selling some hogs. Wife says the hog trough back in Texas is running oil. Oh, tough. Yeah. I know hogs, but I don't know oil. I know oil. Where you headed for? Amarillo. Do tell. Hey, uh, you wouldn't consider... Well, I might if the deal was right. You got a cigarette? If you roll your own. Only way I smoke them. Thank you. I like a man rolls his own. Sign honesty. We ain't going to have any trouble. None at all. Dig the Thief starring Kathy and Elliot Lewis. In a moment, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis will tell you about next week's play. When is a man not a man? Why, when is an institution, of course, like Bing Crosby? And when is a Thursday not a Thursday? Well, for loads of Crosby fans it wouldn't be Thursday without the Bing Crosby show. Fortunately, all of us, we have no such problem confronting us this Thursday. The Groner and his many guests, along with Ken Carpenter, the Rhythmairs, and John Scott Trotter's orchestra, will all be on hand with the music, the songs, and, of course, the merriment that have truly characterized this great program week in and week out for many a season. That's Thursday nights on CBS Radio. And now, once again, Kathy and Elliot Lewis. What did you do when you got to Texas? Well, maybe in about six months, I'll tell you. If Morton Fine and David Friedkin can be prevailed upon to continue the adventures of Dig the Thief. Tonight, while in New Mexico, John Digby was shrewder than my father, John McIntyre, my fiancee, Lee Millar, and the legitimate archaeologist, Hal Gerard. While the same Mr. Digby got fired earlier in the play by Ken Christie, because he shot up a town with the help of Gigi Pearson, Byron Kane, and Bob Sweeney, who was a writer a few weeks ago. Next week, we're going to do a new adaptation of a story you all know about, but if you're at all like Elliot and me, don't remember very well in its original form. It was written by Frank Stockton, and it's called The Lady or The Tiger. We'll be with you next week. Until then, thank you for listening. And good night. Good night. Music for Tonight's Story was composed by Fred Steiner and conducted by Lud Gluckin. The Kathy and Elliot theme is by Ray Noble, and the program is transcribed and directed by Mr. Lewis. George Walsh speaking. And remember, for music and song, join Vaughn Monroe Saturday nights on the CBS Radio Network.