 Okay, all right. So good morning once again. Glad that all of you all can be here. Yeah, I'm here live with the students over here. It's lovely to see all of them here. All right, so we'll get started. Let's just start with a word of prayer and we'll move right into class. Heavenly Father, we thank You, Lord, for Your grace and for Your love over us. Thank you that, Lord, You have shown us Your love, Lord, through so many ways. Thank you that we are here this morning once again to look back at the institution of marriage that You created. Father, even as we look at an important aspect of marriage, we pray that You will open our hearts. You will correct our ways. You will align us, Lord, to Your Word. Heal our hearts. We pray, God, even as we relate with others, Lord, that we will show the love and the glory of God to those around. We ask all this in Jesus' name. Amen. All right, so maybe just a quick recap of what we did the last week before we move ahead. So any of you would just like to share what we did last week. What is one of the chapters that we did last week? So either the students here or anyone online could just share. We learned to live out of, I mean to live Christ-like and through knowing our identity in Christ in order to live Christ-like as well. And also to walk in the spirit. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Thanks, Ren. Anybody else? Anything else that stood out for you, specifically on what we learned? Even the online students could share what you found was relevant, what was important. Radha? You also learned about the renewing of the mind. Okay, yes, we spoke about how we... Go ahead, Jaiken. Constantly meditating God's Word and that meditating helps us to speak peace to our situations. So otherwise we get into other like our own flesh and then cannot be joyful. Constant renewing of that was very helpful. Okay, nice. Thank you. Thank you so much. All right. So today we're going to be looking at... Till chapter 5, what we've done, we specifically looked at building... At having a basis for marriage, how God designed marriage. So today we're going to be looking at certain elements in marriage. What are important aspects or elements that we need to focus on in marriage? And we're going to be looking around four or five of those important elements. And one of that is communication. So when we look at communication, it's an essential aspect of building a strong relationship. Without communicating, can we have a relationship? No. You need to communicate. You need to listen. You need to hear. You need to be able to address your thoughts and your ideas and be able to listen to other people's thoughts and ideas. So that's what really builds a marriage. So when we're looking at marriage in itself, we're looking at communication as a building block of marriage. Now, a certain aspect of communication. We have different styles of communication. We all communicate differently. So there may be some people who are able to express just their thoughts. Or some are able to express their feelings. Or some may be able to express just factual data or details. So we're going to be looking at what is really important in marriage. For that, let's look at different levels of communication. So the first one that you're looking at is a casual sense of communication. Who would you have a casual communication with? A casual communication generally happens with people you just know as acquaintances. Like your milkman, like your shopkeeper. So what are you going to do? You're just saying, hi, Baisabh, how are you? I want one liter of milk. You pay the money and you come out. Or someone may be helping your house, you're saying. Just clean the house over here, there. The dishes need to be washed. This is how much of food that you need to make. It's a very casual communication, is that right? So what we're doing there is we're not really sharing too much. We're sharing very, very little. It's a sad thing that unfortunately there are a lot of marriages that are like that. It's just factual, it's just transactional. You just say what you need to do. It's a very casual conversation. I'm going for work, pick up the children at 10 o'clock. The dog needs to be fed. We have to go to church at 10 o'clock when we come back, right? And that is a really sad state of affairs of communication that happens. What's the next level of communication? It's what we call as a professional communication. So in a professional communication, your communication is sharing a lot more of things. You're sharing a lot more of ideas. You're sharing a lot more of thoughts. It's probably a task that you need to do, that you're talking about that task in a greater way. So it's about facts, it's ideas, it's thoughts, or it's certain decisions that you may need to make. So professional communication in marriage may sound something like, which school do we put the children in? So you're actually going to find out details of that and then looking at the schools. Or maybe, which house are we going to buy? What are the things that we need to buy? So there's a lot of ideas that's sharing, but then that stops at that. The next comes is friendship. Now in friendship is where you go to a much deeper level of communication. There is a sharing of ideas, there's a sharing of thoughts, there's a sharing of feelings. You're deliberating certain things together. So there is also a freedom there. Freedom to be able to share your own beliefs, share your own thoughts, your dreams. And at certain points of time there's also people are able to correct one another through that. So it's more of a friendship that you build. The most ideal kind of communication for marriage is what we say is an intimate level of communication. So what's the difference between intimate communication and friendship? What do you all think is a difference between intimate and friendship? Even the online students, you could also feel free to talk. What's the difference between intimate and friendship? Intimate level of communication and friendship. Okay. When it comes to friendship conversations, we'll wait for that person to come and share to us. We'll respect their boundaries, but when it comes to intimate, I feel like we take that initiative, just go a little bit higher, like more step than friendship. One step higher than friendship. Okay, wonderful. So one of the difference, Prince, do you have anything to say? No. What do you think is the difference between intimate and friendship? I guess what Prince Brothers said, what Prince Brothers said, one step straight forward. It means from my perspective, main thing is in friendship we will share something, but in intimate friendship coming to, that person knows most of the secret of us. There is a way of intimate friendship, and if we are intimate friend of that person, we know what is the secret of him or herself. Most of the other people don't know that two people know. Okay. They see everything. Okay, they see everything. So one of the biggest difference in intimate communication is the fact that you can share and be vulnerable. That is you can absolutely be honest and open about whatever you're feeling, whatever you're thinking, whatever your ideas are, you can be absolutely free without that fear of judgment, without the fear that someone will say, you can't think like this or you shouldn't be feeling like this. It's that openness that you have. The complete openness, complete bearing of your ideas, thoughts, feelings, all of that is what makes an intimate conversation. Okay, and in marriage, that's what is the most ideal level of communication that you're looking at, where you are sharing everything of who you are and what you're thinking, what you're feeling and what you hope for, what you dream for, is what you would do in an intimate communication. Now that's something that, how does communication work? Does it happen just like that? It happens over time. It happens, the more and more you communicate, it's more and more that you build that level of intimacy. So when you're looking at a, let's say a friend that you know, you would have initially just met with each other and spoken about their names and their whereabouts, where they come from, right? And slowly you're talking about your ideas, your thoughts, and you're talking about certain of your feelings and then you get into a lot more of vulnerability. And marriage is important for marriage to come to that place of intimacy is what is needed. Unfortunately, we do see a lot of marriages staying at the professional, a casual level, but it is to grow in intimacy so that it builds marriage in itself. Now, these principles that we were talking about, although it is a lot to do with the husband and wife, you can think of it even in the way that you deal with your children. Okay, in parents to children is where you can build intimacy. Okay, now for, in order that we have a meaningful communication, there are three important things, aspects of communication that we need to look at. So which is time, trust, and transparency. So we look at each of this a little bit more in detail. So for a communication to be meaningful, you need to spend time, you need to feel a sense of trust and you need to have the sense of openness or transparency in order to build that communication to that intimate level. Okay, so let's look at time. So in marriage, it's extremely important to set aside time in a day, you know, in a day is absolutely wonderful, but if not, at least in one or two or three days, we're setting aside time where you're able to communicate and talk with each other. Okay, so what are you doing in that point of the time? So you may be just, it can be something that you're not doing together. It's either cooking a meal or, you know, having a walk or eating together or doing an activity together, setting aside some time with your spouse is a very healthy practice. It also needs to be at a time when you have the energy. So often what happens especially when, you know, when we're different, there may be some people who are early morning risers, some who are who sleep late. So you cannot set a time of communication in these two times because one of them will be sleeping. So you set a time that is most useful where both members of the marriage are able to engage in a meaningful and a way that builds that communication. Now, this is something that needs to be done intentionally because as we all know life is busy so we're all running from pillar to post and if you don't set aside time, it doesn't happen. Even for some of you who may be in Bible college who aren't married just to be able to see your friend is something you'll have to call up and say, hey, let's meet up together and let's have a coffee together. It's an intentional time and so also in marriage. It just doesn't happen. It doesn't happen automatically. It's something that you do structuring your day, structuring your time, you're making it as intentional as possible. Are you all with me? When you're having that time together often the time that we're together sometimes goes in looking at important things that need to be done. The to-do list maybe it's you know how much of the bills are paid whether the children's meetings, school meetings have been gone through, are there purchases that's made? That's all professional talk, right? But to keep aside that professional talk and spend some time to be able to discuss and look at more intimate levels of communication and also it's healthy to also plan longer periods of time. When you're taking a vacation taking two, three days off just to be able to spend that time with one another. So that's what we're looking at when we're saying time. So this meaningful and healthy communication that's that requires time, that requires intention, that requires effort, okay? All right, next one is trust. Okay, what is when you're saying how do you build somebody's trust? How do you think you build somebody's trust? Okay, even the online students can answer how do you build somebody's trust or how do you build trust? So maybe they might give you responsibility or something to do and you do it really well, then maybe the trust grows minimally. Okay, all right. Okay, so when someone does something that you give them, a task that you give them, a responsibility they do it faithfully. Okay, so that's how you earn somebody's trust, okay? How how do you give trust to someone? How do you give trust to someone? By keeping your word, okay, wonderful. All right. How else do you give trust? Okay. Okay, by being faithful or just being that present. Okay. All right, now in a marriage relationship trust needs to be earned and it also needs to be given. So what is earned? Trust being earned is that you're doing things in such a way that someone can depend on you and trust on you, trust you. Okay, and giving trust is where you are being dependable when you are there to do something for others. So that's so in a marriage relationship that's important to be able to earn your trust, earn trust as well as to give trust. Now learning to trust another person is you are telling them that or you're helping them gain confidence about who you are and what you say you will do. Okay, you're helping them gain confidence and that ability or that assurance that they have that if I have done or said or given something to this person they will do it. Okay, so that's what earning trust is. You also giving trust when you are keeping your end of your promise. So keeping your end of the bargain right and ensuring that whatever you've said you're also doing. So that's important to do. Can a marriage be effectively built if there is no trust? No. Okay, so what are some situations that you all have come across where trust is broken in a marriage? Okay, rather says when people hide something. Okay, hide important information. Yes, trust gets broken. What are other situations where trust gets broken? Okay, talking behind their back. So you're saying something about them to others without them knowing. Maybe an information. Okay. Alright, anything else? Okay, so some personal information that is made public. Excellent, wonderful. Chira says when people lie again and again. Okay, any other situations where trust is lost? Okay, guarded. You say guarded. You're not giving right information or okay. Alright, someone says insult. Okay, when there is insecurity about each other. Okay, Nina says insult. What about infidelity? That is when they're in either some kind of extra marital affair. Does trust break there? Yeah, yeah. That's right. Infidelity is when when you're moving away from your marriage and having a relationship with somebody else outside of marriage. That's what infidelity is. Also when when personal things are shared. Maybe, you know, let's say the husband and wife are having a fight and the wife or the husband takes this personal information to somebody else like to friends. Right? That will break trust? No? Without for example they're having, maybe they had a huge fight at home. Alright, and probably there was some exchange of words and maybe there was some personal things that were shared and this personal things is taken out from the two sims to the parents. Is that a betrayal of trust? It can be a betrayal of trust. Because what should have been sorted there is going to the parents without maybe the permission of the other spouse. That can also become an issue of trust. Without trust a marriage cannot work. A marriage doesn't work well. So it is important that husband and wife need to be able to trust each other. Not just with the information that they share but also with any kind of content, right? Even with the character, even the way that they bring about their character is what you may need to have trust. So there must be trust that what is shared stays in confidence within the marriage. Okay? There must also be trust that whatever you're sharing, I'm sure you all would have probably come across this in some relationship or the other that you've shared something very personal to a friend. But that personal information, like I think he said has been made public. Right? And that can be very, very betraying. So even in marriage, what is personally shared you go and take it to either your parents or your in-laws that could also be a break of trust. Or when you're bringing back this personal information in between a conflict. Right? So maybe in your vulnerability, you've probably said something to your spouse and when he or she is angry, he brings it. Anyway, you're like this. You told me that you were like this at that time. And so when you bring out that kind of information during a fight, that can also break a lot of trust. And there are barriers in communication. Okay? What about transparency? Transparency is something where you're able to really share your innermost thoughts and your feelings your dreams. And that also takes time to build. It's not something that happens quickly. It happens with time. It happens with trust. And as a result there is transparency. Okay? Now if you look at page 70 that's what's in the in the digital books. But for those of you who have books, it's 73. Okay? So if you look at page 73 there is a small table that shows how good you are at communication. So I want you to spend like two minutes or three minutes just quickly filling that up. Because it gives you a good idea of how you are in your communication. Okay? So it's a scale. One is never. Two is sometimes. Three is often. Four is most often. Five is always true. So rate what you feel about your communication between you and your spouse if you're married. If you're not married it's okay between you and a friend. Okay? Because the way that you communicate to a very good friend is probably the way that you're going to communicate to your spouse also. Okay? So spend two, three minutes to quickly do that. It'll help you to understand. Okay? So anybody would like to share something that is evident to them that they have to work on any one of those that you may need to work on. E-learning, sorry. Online students. Anything that you saw in those items that you feel you must work on students here. I would say the third one to express. Feel free to express yourself. Okay. All right. So this is a good it's like a check to show you how good you are at your communication. Okay? Because if you do find that your score it's a good thing to start working on it right away. Don't wait till you're married. Okay? For those of you who are not married here. Okay. So what does communication do and how does communication build a good marriage? And let's just look at a few things as to what communication means and how it helps marriage in several ways. Okay? One of the things that communication does is it helps you to know and understand each other. Right? So you're actually talking about different things and it's only when you talk that you understand. Right? For example, recently we just had our marriage conference and there were certain things that you know we were talking, my husband and I were talking at part of the thing and it was something that we've never spoken about. Right? It made it was a very refreshing time just to talk about something that meant a lot to us and it really helped us understand what we liked or what kind of people we are. So it helps you know and understand each other. Communication can help you to work together as a team. Okay? And how does that happen? How does it help you to work as a team? Think of think of let's say a husband and wife stands in the kitchen and does, makes a meal. Do you need to communicate? Yes. Otherwise your biryani will have too much of salt or it will have maybe sugar instead. Right? So unless you communicate, hey I've done this part of it, this needs to be done or it needs to be done like this so it needs, so I've just taken a very simple example of maybe cooking but in the greater things of life also you need to work together as a team. You need communication to work as a team. Okay. Communication is needed because it helps you to support one another. It helps you to support each other. Right? At times of illness, times of hardships, times of conflicts, times of stress you're there supporting and encouraging each other. Right? How do you support and encourage somebody? What do you, what words do you use? Okay? Saying something positive about them okay? Say, hey I believe in you, you can do this. It's not a big thing. Come on, I'm there with you. Right? So that's, she always does that. Okay. Alright. So you support and you encourage you nurture. Say, I trust you can do it. You did it last time or when, you know, last time you got 20 out of 20 for your marks and decide it's okay. We'll figure it out. So that's how you support and encourage each other. Okay? You also communication is very important to resolve conflicts. Right? And this is something that we're going to be looking at next next to next class about how do we resolve conflicts and how communication is important without communication you may not be able to iron out problems. Right? Especially if there are so so let's say, you know you're newly married and your spouse has made a breakfast for you. Okay? And you go up and say, I don't want to eat this. Right? And that's it. You're not saying anything more. If you don't communicate that I don't know, those are, Idli has a bad effect on your stomach. What would happen? What would your spouse think? It would take it very personally. Yeah? Right? They'll say, okay, they don't like cooking. He doesn't like me. She doesn't like me. Didn't want to get mad at me. I mean, you can go into so many different things. Right? So you resolve issues by communicating, by actually sharing where you're at, what your preferences are, what is your perspectives, what your opinion is and the more that you share, you're building a better working together. So when conflicts arise communication is something that helps you work through certain differences. Okay? Because a lot of misunderstanding happens in conflicts because we don't communicate. Right? A lot of misunderstandings happen. Probably maybe I bring about an example to make that clearer. You know especially when we make decisions. Let's say you're making a decision about wanting to buy a vehicle and one person wants to buy a two-wheeler, the other wants to buy a four-wheeler. Right? And if you just stand on that and say, I want a two-wheeler, I want a four-wheeler without actually talking about the reasons why you think a two-wheeler is needed or a four-wheeler is needed, you're not really understanding where they're coming from. Okay? So the person with a two-wheeler will say, it's easiest to get on the road with that because traffic in Bangalore, that's probably the easiest thing. But the person who wants the car will say, no, you know, I've fallen ten times on a scooter and I'm really fearful about that. I want a car. I like a car because it makes me feel safe. So it's just communicating, right? And so a lot of this builds understanding, it also helps to resolve conflicts. The other thing that it does is it helps you to grow spiritually together. So communication is where you're able to, you know, share or discuss what you have learned, what you're reading, what God's telling you, you know, what's putting inside your heart, it happens only through communication. So you grow together, you build each other's faith, you build each other, you nurture one another in spiritual encouragement. Okay? That's also a way to communicate. So communication is important because it helps to protect your marriage. What happens to a marriage that has no communication? It's a dead marriage. Right? Is it a dead marriage? Because in marriage you would like to share your thoughts, your feelings, your love, your affection to one another. And if you don't do that, what happens? It's a temptation to wander off into some other kind of an entanglement and other kind of a companionship. Right? So keeping your communication open and strong helps you to protect your marriage. Okay? Next one is to build up and bring up children. So how parents communicate will really the way a husband and wife communicates has an impact on the way that the children grow up and the children learn. Right? So if you go, if you look back at your own homes, okay, think of the way that your parents communicated when there was a conflict. So I'm sure all of you know how. I don't want to, I don't want to bring that up but you'll know how. And that has an impact on the way you will communicate or you will, you know, you've understood about life. For example, if you've had a home where parents whenever they've had conflicts they actually, you know, move back into the room and they talk about it and then they come. Right? So you know okay, something's happening there. They talk about their issues. Or you may have come from a home where parents are yelling and shouting at each other, bringing you in the midst of it and then you begin to see you know, you kind of have an impact so I never want to get married because because conflict is all about people yelling and shouting. So it has an impact. Right? So it matters that we are able to build that open communication. It's also important because it helps you to cherish memories. I'm sure when you all are all sitting together here you'll talk about your school days or you'll talk about your childhood. No, you wouldn't do that. Nobody does that. Don't have the time for it. Yeah, you talk about, yeah, about last year or you know, wow, this happened the last time or this was nice or this wasn't nice to spend together. Yeah, or we went for this trip and this is what you tried. So what that is cherishing memories. So when you communicate, you're actually cherishing one another, you're reliving those memories that actually help you. Okay? All right. Any questions before we move on? As we are discussing about communication and when it comes to these resolving issues. So like what, how do you communicate? Like if there's some issue happen and if the other person like not only in marriage but even with friendship. If that other person got angry or if they get offended and they just walk out and as we're trying to approach and talk to communicate, but if they're not willing to talk, so how we can resolve and how we can communicate in that situation. Okay, very good question. The question mainly is when there is a struggle with a conflict with someone, if the other person is not willing to talk, how do you resolve communication? Okay. So the first and foremost thing is when there is a conflict we'll again look at it later, but when there is a conflict what is the biggest emotion that happens? Hurt or anger maybe, right? So hurt or anger is what generally rises up when you're in a conflict. Now because we all have different ways of dealing with conflicts sometimes when people are hurt or anger they react differently. So this is something we learned you either react like a rhinoceros what is a rhinoceros? You know what rhinos are, right? They head on right? They will come charge on you they will make a statement, they will really show you that they're angry. Okay, some people react like a rhinoceros or some people react like a hedgehog. You know what a hedgehog or a porcupine and what it withdraws but what happens it's got those prickly spikes and you go touch it, it'll release one, it shoots one and that will really hurt. Okay, so that's how we may respond in either two ways. Either we are very, very aggressive and straight or we withdraw. Correct? These are generally the two ways. Now these are just patterns of how people deal with conflicts. Now suppose you are dealing with someone who's a porcupine or who's a hedgehog but draw, right? And you may be one like a rhinoceros who wants to iron out things then and there. So first and foremost is to understand that maybe people don't react to conflicts the same way that you do. And so when you know that there is a porcupine there you know that you have to give them time to cool off. Right? You may need to give them time. They may not be willing to talk to you openly like already. So giving them the time and space to cool off and that's how you understand them and say okay I understand that you are in that space like that and I want to give you that space and time. So after giving them that space and time inviting them say hey you know I really want to sort this issue out with you. I want to invite you for a conversation. Okay? Now you may say even then they don't want to. Okay, so and if you look at it a lot of us do that. A lot of us try and sweep our problems and conflicts under the carpet and say never mind let's not talk about it. But it is a healthy pattern to talk about issues. So not all people may be ready and you are right about it. But you've done your part to invite them for a conversation saying you know I really want to sort this out with you. I want to ensure that we are okay with this and I want to talk about it. But there's nothing you can do if they refuse. Right? And you say I respect what everything, but let me tell you hey you know whenever you want to talk about it I'm ready for it or if you think I've done something to hurt you I apologize and I would like to share it. So that's the best that you can do. You can't make them sit and talk to you. Okay? Alright any other questions? Is there how we react? Is there also like from our side have to work on how we react? Like if we are our reaction is like Rhinoso. Do we have to work on ourselves or we are the other time still we have to work on ourselves? Yeah. So is it needed? Yes. So that's what we're going to be talking about. So being a rhino and a hedgehog it's good to understand but both spectrums or both, what do you say? Both kinds are not always very healthy because when you are a rhino you're either yelling, screaming, saying things that are hurtful okay? Or if you are a hedgehog you're not saying anything. You're giving the other person the silent treatment. So these are things you need to work on and that's what we're going to look at. Okay? Alright. Now in communication there are three I'd like to place three aspects to it. There are many two just written here but I just want to bring up the third one here. Okay? There are three aspects to it. There is a listening okay? There is an expression or a talking and there is what we called a feedback. Okay? So there is a listening there is an expression or a talking or a speaking and there is a feedback. So you know the fact that God gave us two years and one mouth. What does it mean? To listen more and talk less. Right? Especially in conversations it is to listen more and talk less. Okay? So in listening the goal, what is the goal? We always have to ask ourselves when we're listening what is the goal? Is it to understand or is it to listen to understand or listen to answer? It's listen to understand. Okay? When we're listening to answer then it becomes it doesn't become a conversation. It becomes a debate. It becomes a fight. But when you are trying to resolve conflicts you're listening to understand and not listening to answer. Okay? So if you look at Proverbs 18 13 it says listen before you answer. If you don't you are being stupid and insulting. So it's a very direct you know word that's been given. So listen listening is important. So when you're listening what are you trying to do? There's a difference between listening and hearing. Okay? Listening is you're listening to understand. Hearing is you hear something and then it goes out. Actually a lot of things you hear you don't remember. Right? It's what you listen to and understand is what actually stays retained. So when you're listening you are attempting to understand. So what are some of the skills that's needed when you're listening? Okay? So one of the and there are a couple of things over here. It is one is to be attentive. What does being attentive mean? Being attentive is you are actually paying undivided attention to the person. Sometimes you probably know that people look like they're listening but they're actually not listening. Right? And especially when they have those glassy eyes and or they've gone off somewhere else. No, that's true, right? Some people know what I'm talking about here. Okay? So being paying attention is just not keeping your phone or your pens or whatever you're doing down but it's also paying constant attention to the other person. Okay? You know one way how I know people are listening I quickly ask what did I just say and then you know they don't know then I know okay they haven't listened. Would you like to listen once again? Okay? So being attentive, okay? Pay attention without and in marriage often there are things that come in the midst, in our midst that is either our phones our laptops, our work, our children business a lot of things that come. So good listening is when you're actually paying undivided attention. The next thing is to being open. What does open mean? Is that we're not jumping to conclusions even before something is said? Right? So jumping to conclusions is even before 2, 3 the whole sentence is over we've said no this is how you are. Right? That we're jumping to conclusions out coming to the outcome of what it is. So it is yes you're telling yourself okay I will listen to the whole thing and one exercise that I do between couples is I give them like a paper or a book and say okay when you are talking the person who has the book has the permission to talk. Only once you finish do you give it to the other person and then they talk. So you can't interrupt in between. Okay? So that's being open. Being patient listening without interruptions without coming in between and say no no no but no that's not how it is but that's interruptions. So waiting till they have finished that. Next is be clear of what was said. Sometimes what we say we ourselves don't have clarity of what we're saying and we get our clarity when we are talking. Right? And so when you understand that it's good it's good to trace back and say hey this is what I was trying to communicate. So being clear of what is said. So you either summarize you repeat so that you can be understood. Then being responsive. So when you're listening what are you doing? You nod your head you say oh really aha seriously yeah yeah that's right yeah so you're being responsive and last is being sensitive. What is being sensitive? Now I may be talking to you and I'm saying you know I'm very very happy today. Do you see the happiness on my face? You don't right? So you're sensitive to the body language and you can ask you can say you know you say you're happy but then your face doesn't show. Right? Really? Yeah right? So being sensitive to body language. So somebody may be saying like especially in you know between couples when there is a conflict happening the husband will ask the wife what's wrong? Nothing. From that itself you know that there is something wrong right? So listen a lot more. Not just to the words but also to the body language okay? So I can take some time and do that exercise and listening skills questionnaire to really find out how well a listener you are okay? You can do it at your time and at your pace and so that you understand how good a listener you are okay? Great. At the end of one hour let's stop for a break and resume in 10 minutes.