 Yeah, we on boss talk one-on-one. Yeah, we gonna talk. We gonna have fun. We'll be on fire. We'll be lately It's a unique hustle. Check it. Check it. Check it. It's unique house. It's your boy ECO and I'm here with the lovely amazing official Mr. Make-up. What are you doing? Yes, well gone, you know Modell I want y'all to stop what you doing right now go like subscribe follow us on all social media platforms I mean our Instagram Facebook snapchat tick tock you name it. We're on it But if you want to see all our visuals, make sure you go ahead and sign up for our membership on our YouTube Channel is ball stock podcast one-on-one on every platform type that in you will find us and Thank you in advance man. Hey man. Listen man. We have a very special guest here today y'all She don't need no introduction. She frequents the show She's a woman of the cloth She is a very special friend of mine. I need as y'all was in the building guys The intro was ready today y'all. Yes So I just wanted to get you on here for a few minutes to just talk to you about You know, just what you've been up to. Where you been? I have been oh my goodness I have been running and gunning but it has been really really good My youngest daughter graduated high school Yeah No more bills here in a minute Nesta now I am an empty nest How that feeling? Oh my it will feel good if they were coming home almost every weekend No, I love my babies But it is it is a different experience My grocery bill has gone tremendously down praise the Lord Can't you tell me that no more come on daughter love cheese puffs and all type of a little different cookies I knew that wasn't me eating all of them cookies man Hold up now. I know who was eating and who wasn't missing messing stuff up and you can't blame it on the other one Yeah, that's it. Yes, so I mean how how how was it? dealing with your daughter being a bishop Omar Rest in peace was not there and you had to deal with this on your own just getting her ready for college and I Was it was she able to work through it or did she bring him up? We we both brought him up It was very very difficult to say the least But I believe there was healing through that We both walked along each other. It was strength just listening to her be real To really find herself to have her voice. I never wanted her to be silent I didn't want to silence her voice to speak for her I wanted her to speak for herself. She has so much of her dad and her and when I tell you so much She is a workaholic. She was working in high school. She's now working in in college. She started her own makeup business She did that on her own She signed up for college. She did that on her own The only thing I basically did was just support. I mean just do the financial aid part I mean even that part of the financial aid She did it all like she's like mom. She just brought it inside. She brought it in and And so it was so easy and I kept thinking okay. I'm missing something. What am I missing? But she was so on her game. She was on her a game to where it felt like a breeze Everything came like the day of her even getting her dorm room. She got it on the day that they open it up I didn't even know nothing about it. I don't think about it. I wasn't prepared for that. She called me It's like mom. I'm five hundred and something in line. Oh, you know wait no line at the school house And I was like you in a class, but what's going on? How are we doing this? She said I just need the I just need your debit card Hey, you know how and so I mean when I tell you it was just it was I just felt like there's something else even the day of moving and we prepared and Let me go back just getting prepared for her go off to college I can't miss since I was like I wish I was here. I wish your bitch was here. Did you I want to tell him something Did you cry? Oh my god? I cried almost every night I wanted to like I wanted him to see how grown or how mature our baby girl was for this And I kept saying is everything okay? And so she was like mom, please stop asking me that because I'm okay I just want to make sure you're okay because I'm not gonna be here And so she felt like well I know I'm leaving but I want to make sure you're in a good headspace instead of vice versa I want to make sure she was in a good space and so Graduation came and of course that was a big day Graduation day it started off real rocky She came in and she was all dressed up and and I could I knew I know my baby So it's just her and I we were there and I was like it's something Something not right and I just kept thinking myself and I was like I know what it is And I said are you okay? She said yes. Yes. Yes, and in family. She just came back and she said no, it's not okay You know, she just had that moment like He's not here. Mm-hmm like every big event going on. He will not be here Graduation from high school graduation will be there in spirit. You know getting married. That's what I was telling her He's gonna be there in spirit and and you have his DNA. You're gonna always carry him, right? Some shape form or fashion So she's like well, even you know when I get married, I'm gonna keep the name Jawa I'm not getting rid of my husband just got to deal with it, right? You know, she said I will always have a part of my dad and so graduation happened Then the graduation party came same thing same, you know, he's not here So we did at our table. I did a I had a picture of him sitting there as if he was there And so she cried about that Sometimes I wonder with even things like that, you know, it's like You do that to feel like they're there, but then does it hurt even more sometimes? Hey, I want to say both but the remembrance not that you Forget a person because you could never forget your right or your late husband But just the fact of just saying that we want to honor and respect him in his seat Because if he would have been here, he would have been there, right? And so we always give honor where honors do and so And I think that made it feel like he was a part of to her It was like my dad was a part of it And though he wasn't physically here, but he was here about by by spirit And so it made it, you know made it like okay He's he's here like we're not gonna ever forget about him no matter where we go What goes on? He's gonna always be a huge part of our lives What about some of the relationships he built like far as prison ministry and stuff like that Have you ever reconnected with any of those ties like when he you know, you know what I mean? Cuz he did prison. He had a connection with that The kids were like really really young they might have been I'm he may have been six and now you might have been three I come home from work one day and there is a Hispanic gentleman and a black Gentleman but the black gentleman. I believe he's spoken two or three different languages at this particular time He was speaking in Spanish So I come into my house, and I'm looking for my husband I'm like what happened what happened and the girls are there their hairs comb when I left their heart that hair was not comb So when I got back, I'm thinking what lady has been in here, right? You know how we are yeah, right? And so I'm like crazy and and they're like coming out. Oh, we were fine. We got them all there We cook they everything is fine. He did everything you know, they did they did they did this So I'm going what and so we go to bed that night He was like well They're gonna stay here tonight because their friends from out of town Quote unquote their friends from out of town So they're gonna spend the night tonight and they're gonna get up and they're gonna go on the way the next day So a couple of days that passed and they were still dead I'm like what's going on they not able to leave because everything was fine But I was just trying to check to make sure everything was fine He said well I didn't tell you at first because I didn't know how you're gonna take it but these two young men were in my prison Back in my Juvenile prison and in Gainesville But they got into the dump prison so they went away. They just came home He said I know if I would he said I knew if I would have told you you would explode it He said just like you're doing now. I said The reason why I'm not exploded because they are you know, they are fine young gentlemen They I see that they changed their world their life and the girls absolutely love them They were looking up to him see that's the first thing I would think about because I have young girls in the house That's exactly I'll be thinking about what end up. He was like they're not gonna. I'm telling you He said I will leave them with any he said I will leave the house in their hands That's how much I trust and love them, but it was totally different because I'm like I'm not used to this Like and then we get a call from a young gentleman who was in prison He was having some problems, but he was having problems with people on the outside Mm-hmm, and so he was like I'm getting out in the few days and I'm gonna come by and I'm gonna see you guys and On my way to commit murder because I'm gonna kill someone Da-da-da-da it was a whole thing and I'm going See I'm like, okay. How does he know I knew you guys knew back in the day But how do you get your number? Who did he get the number from so while he had my speakerphone? He's getting dressed and he put him on mute so you could hear him He said he don't even know where we live. We're not worried about it and everything I'm like he has your number somehow. He may have our address So this may be something that we need to think about so he takes him off mute He was like, okay. Well, I'll see you in a couple days in my office. He's like, no, no, mr. Omar I got your address. You live in Da-da-da-da-da That was the real address He could have come by there before he go to kill somebody Yes, I freaked out. I said this cannot be happening. I'm like, I thought this world I thought you were like, you know, I don't know what I thought of in the world separate The home separate from what's going on out here. I thought this was like he talked him out of it He talked him out of it. It was nothing but the grace of God, but he talked him out of it I was like what who does this man who finds a address I think a lot of times like I said, you just never know what what God well God is A thing Man, so how's it going down with the ministry having you know, you you full-time Past like yes, like how's that for you the full-time pastoring? It is something that I have I would never been a ready for never in a million years Even if God himself would have came down and said I'm going to put you in this seat Which of course he did tell me, but I would just blew my mind. I I've never Growing up. I never thought I would be a pastor if anything but a pastor growing up. I Was in the church, but I wouldn't really like to talk about before I want other church, you know, so Just to say that I'm a pastor now to see everything that I've come through came through Walked through all of the pressures the the hate the bickering the judgmental thoughts And then to walk as a woman quote-unquote pastor Has not been easy Not everybody receives a woman as a pastor. Mm-hmm And so that too brought as they say brought smoke, you know what smoke? Because I heard that before I've heard that a woman can't be a pastor It can only be a teacher that can't be a pastor. Yes What what scriptures justify the fact of you feeling it's it's something that talks speaks to you being In the pastoral well first before I go to the scripture. I want to go to my encounter. Okay So my encounter with the way that God and in Jesus has been a part of my life My counter was is that of course God spoke to me and Said it but the very time that God spoke to me again and said it was after my husband had had passed I was laying in my bed. I never would forget and I was like God. I just want to hide. I just want to hide I don't want to go anywhere. I know I have I have two amazing daughters to raise Ordered two kids are grown. I just don't want to do it I don't want to live like, you know, basically it wasn't even about ministry. It was about life Like God, I don't want to be here. I don't want this I Never imagined doing life without him like every part of my world was Bishop Omar Jawa everywhere and so now I Have made it on my so I don't I don't want to go on and in that moment God just began to share with me. He said even before you were born. I knew March 11th I knew his date And I knew exactly and then when you think about it like when he first got sick in October and he passed in in March He said I gave you five. I gave you five additional months, which five is grace and He said and I said some things in order even though you didn't understand it and you weren't aware of it I was setting things in order and so because these things have been said in order Now it's your time To come and to do my work and I'm like, well God, I've been doing your work I've been doing it from the sideline. I've been doing it from the background I've been walking alongside my late husband. I you know, I'm here and he said no, I want you to be here There was a mantle that had fell on you and now you have to you're gonna have to uphold that mantle and you're gonna have to carry that mantle and And I said God I don't know if I can do it and he said you've been walking so far and so long by faith that you didn't even Realize that it was faith And he began to just jock my memory about everything that we had to go through up into that point Of being homeless in the city of Dallas with our family members here not knowing that we were homeless Going and and just on the struggle mode of going through this and going through that even in a time in our marriage Where I got up and I left our marriage And then I came back because God told me to go back so I came back and And and and so with all of that God was just showing me he was like these are the things That I positioned you for and so it's it's not about the title, but it is about the title I've called you in a position and you've got to carry it Regardless, you're already armed and dangerous so to speak and so I said well, I don't know I don't know all of this like I don't know the church world I don't know all of the religion part of it The truth be told I've read the book. I read the Bible several times, but I don't know all of the parts of the Bible I don't recall all of it. Are you sure I need to be sitting in this seat and God? He just reminded me of how he How he sits up one and he takes down another how he chooses us Sometimes we I'm even with the with the story of getting and getting in was like I'm the least and so that was me I'm like God. I'm the least of if everyone that you would put in this seat that I'm I'm I'm being reminded of Shouldn't be me It shouldn't be me and he said the reason why I'm doing it is because no one can still my go my my my glory So if they go in it then they think and that they would have it because of their Attributes of what they've done before or this and that but he said when you're going you're gonna go in it And you're gonna be humble about it You're gonna be meek about it And you're gonna lean to me and you're gonna trust me just like you've been doing all of this time You've been trusting me. I've been ordering your steps to arrive at this point this point and Then I said, okay, so I gave God the okay I wasn't sure but I was like, okay, and then of course 72 days later my sister passes and I said God You got to be kidding me There's no way my sister told me that you told her to walk with me After my husband transition after our mom transition So in less than a year my mom my husband and my sister three of the people that I cared for Three of the people that I took to the doctor's office. I I was there at the hospital. I I Cared for them. I was a caretaker and now On May 27th, then you're telling me That this is my new life This is my new way of everything being not only am I having to wake up without the person that I Live with for over 20 years Everything about my life changed the way I ate the way I dressed the way I slept the way I wash clothes Wash dishes cooked drove Finances everything parked my even parked my car in the garage everything about me changed going to the laundry I mean going to the dry cleaners Everything a Cleaning how I discipline our children everything changed and Now the person that I grew up with who I looked up to that I cared for I was a part of her wedding She was a part of my wedding. She had two children. I had two children She introduced me to God a reintroduce me to God and an adult age Her pastor became my pastor kind of like Naomi and Ruth Her God became my God And so now here we are in this in this place of saying carried on go on go on and I had no choice but to go on I went on Cripple I went on Hurt I didn't have one counselor. I had two I have one mentor I had several I had a main one, but then I also had other ones Because I just I kept thinking I'm gonna wake up in any moment. This is gonna be a dream This is gonna be a dream, but the moments I would walk past my daughter's doors and And hear them cry hear them Ask God why why them why us Why so much Why so much pain to our family? Because my mom was like a grandmother to them a real grandmother to them But my sister was her second mom like on all of the emergency Papers from my children was my husband myself and my sister so When it got time to re-enroll them into school Just removing the names off of the paper. It's hard Just not having their dad and not having my sister Remind everything reminded us that they wasn't here Facebook posts, you know how the Facebook memories come up it'll remind you Family gatherings reminded us not only the birthdays the anniversaries, but just certain holidays like Christmas Thanksgiving my husband loved Thanksgiving my sister loved Christmas And so he loved Christmas too, but she was she really loved Christmas So different things just reminded us of them and so it was like we all had to carry each other We all had to walk this together like you good or you good or you okay, you know And then this is us walking it out out loud Not saying that everything was easy, but we still had to walk it out loud with all of the challenges that came up The division that came up The criticism that came up life challenges that came up just different things that they were experiencing The board friends the matta night lasted very long, you know how girls are and so it was like that's okay You know, but it was like different things that will come up that we had to just sit down and And what got us through what I know that got us through was God I know without a shadow of doubt God got us through And he got us through by way of prayer by way of being in our word My my 22 year old she said this before and it kind of shocked me But then again, it didn't she said mom I knew God and I knew of God, but I didn't really know God until after my dad passed That's what I knew God for myself like y'all introduced me to him. We read about him I was in plays, you know, I've even did a couple of speeches, you know all of that But she said I did not know God until after my father passed That's when I had to meet God for myself She said I knew that I knew that I knew that it was him because of the encounters because he personally came I felt like he personally came and he spoke to me. He showed me I was able to pour my tears up on him and he was able to handle it He was able to carry me. She was having dark dreams and visions at one time And and and we prayed about it and and she says I don't have them anymore Like it was like different things that she was seeing like I know this could not be anybody but God She was the one that and I don't know if this is some people could say it's a gift or it could be a curse But it you know, we just call it as a gift, but she sees death So if there's someone that's gonna die, she sees it and so two weeks before her father passes She sees this. Wow, but she didn't see the person. She's someone close And so just what happened to be another family member and she came and we call the family We kept calling the family member checking on them We went on a fast and we were praying and and I didn't want to we never in a million years Imagine it would be her dad. We didn't think we thought of everybody else but him He was doing good. He was only up and up. We were getting ready to be discharged going to a rehab so all of these things were going on and Lo and behold it happened Same thing with my mom and my sister. It happened. I want to ask you like You are Man that was touching story first of all, let me let me just say that, you know the fact of you're a strong lady You know to be able to keep pushing with the family and everything like she has done are you Like traveling and stuff going places without Bishop Omar now doing it on your own at first had to be tough But you're kind of getting used to having to deal with everything on your own now after the years have passed, right? Yes So, I mean, you know, like Have you did you and the family have y'all taken a vacation or gotten away? We have taken several vacations and that's a good thing and that is a absolutely great thing. We need it We needed to unplug On Father's Day, that's the that's a tough one. Yeah, that's a tough day So the first year we went to Hawaii and the second year we went to New York. We've never been to Hawaii or New York before But I wanted my babies away they wanted to be away and they wanted to unplug and It was necessary. It was necessary. Omni. She ended up getting a Comforting, I don't know the name of the word, but it's a it's an animal For that and so, you know, she had the cat disability animal Is it a what is it? I think it was like a disability, but it's like it's for comfort service dog service service animal You're like a so what kind of animal does she get she got a cat actually a cat. Yeah, and his name was King Julian He was the best this past spring break. She goes off to Spring break on vacation She comes back The person that she left her cat with they cannot find her cat. They found the cat about a month later the cat dies in May and So she's having to relive and the reason why she got the cat now she misses the cat So she's having to go through so it's one thing to miss a human being But it's another thing to miss an animal and so we're having to walk her back through that again walk her out of that And so again, we got away. So it's just again. Let's just get away Let's just let everything be on hold until we get back So how long? did it take to sort of Get your life back to some sort of form of normalcy How long did that take? Oh my I don't even know if I've gotten it back really to be honest, right? But I'm talking like functional meaning like not being in your room be like I don't want to be around nobody That type of thing just that type of normalcy it is you know, I just thank God for my village I got to get a special shout out to my village. You got to have a village You got to have brothers and sisters that'll come check on you get you out of the house get dressed come on Let's go and so with that being said my village would get me out One person here one person there at a time But there are days There are days that where you just have a day and if I have that day I say to them It's okay for me not to be okay today So it's different if I have days with the s but a day here and now let me have this day And so I didn't really notice like the first time it happened. I just I was great I was out of my mind on the 27th my sister passed on the 27th my husband on The 11th and my mom on the 5th from the 27th of August of 2021 my sister passed in May I was driving my car one of my brothers who's a truck driver called me He's like where are you because he won't talk me about something. I said really beyond what you I don't know And I knew the place where I was I was on I 30. I know I 30 back on my hand I know I 30 he called me. He said where are you I said I'm on I don't know where I am So he said can you just give me the signs or a read? You know so I was reading it and he got me to a safe place. I know he got me back on I'm sorry got me back home and when he when I close my garage. He said you're back home and I said, okay He's like what and I said, oh, I'm talking him like what what just happened. He was like you didn't know where you were I said, what are you talking about? I know where I was I was driving my car. I'm fine He said I just talked to you all the way back to your house Wow, and I said there's something about this 27th day like something is going on and so Every 27th of the day either the 26 or the 27th, I would have a a mental crash Not like a normal mental crash. I mean like a mental crash like you need to stay home on that day Yes, and so another time my best friend called me and she cannot she she's a school teacher Shout out to all the school teachers But she's a school teacher and so during the day, you know that there's no phone calls So this particular day she called me and she said I don't know what it is But I just feel like I need to talk to you and I said, okay, I said, I don't know what's going on I feel crappy. I feel low. I have no energy I'm going from Dallas and I'm headed to Athens now I'm going back to my house and I just don't know what's going on and it's it's just like it's like a weight Like I can't shake it like I feel like I'm driving with a a 10 pound weight like on my shoulder right now And so she said okay So we kept talking and we kept she made me laugh and she said are you and she kept asking me are you at Home yet? Are you at home yet? So I finally say well, I'm at home and she said are you at home? And I said yes, she said go inside your house. I went in she said sit down I sat down and she said I know why you're feeling crappy. She said, do you know I said no She said look at the calendar the moment. She said look at the calendar. I knew it was a 27th day of the month Hmm, and I said I would not have made it down here if I didn't talk to you Because I would have drifted somewhere. I don't know where I would have went And so from that point on I went back to therapy while I was still in therapy I have to mark it on my calendar even now to remind me on the 26 and 27th day like this is the day Like because you got to get yourself ready So several months have passed and I was doing well on the 26 and 27th day y'all everything was going good I'm like, okay, God. I'm good September came last month came And what happened the 26th day came and And you didn't remember I didn't remember so it's only when you don't remember that it's coming That it affects you what I'm not prepared for it. Wow. And it just yeah Do you think? With what with all of that you've been through. How do you think Omar, Bishop Omar would feel about where you at right now? I think it would be proud. I think it would be proud There's so much that we have overcame so many obstacles Some public some private I think it would be proud that I took a stance That are both of our girls or out of out of high school Omni's getting ready to graduate in May and I he's a freshman they're both at the same school I think it would be proud even about our ministry our ministry Still going forth It is still thriving the church doors are still open as they say I think it would be proud that We are living And that we are doing it the Bible way Ted talk All these different things that he was a part of like what was it that made him stick out so much even seeing him You know them talk about when he passed on on seeing in what was it that made him so? Impactful and able to you know for to reach so many Because everyone was a friend Like he always said that's my friend. I'm like you cannot have these many friends But he always made you feel like you were his best friend not just a friend, but a best friend Wow He would listen he could be dead asleep. You could be talking in a meeting But as soon as he wake up he would tell you the whole thing everything he would miss a beat I mean not the most and I mean it just even though I sleep sometimes I'll be watching TV or I'm on the phone and he's sleeping. I'm talking to my sister He said I know everything y'all said I'm like you couldn't have heard everything. He would repeat it verbatim Wow, like he always brought you into his world Even it doesn't matter if you were white black Hispanic short tall Whatever from a different background you could have just got out of prison you could have been whatever he always made You feel like you were important and that you were somebody Wow I know earlier he asked the question that you answered half of the question But you didn't answer the other half scripture by the scripture Go ahead. Yes. Okay. Now. I want you to ask that question again I was just basically asking you because of you being a woman in the ministry a woman of the cloth as I see it earlier a Pastor and many say that a woman should not assert authority over man It says that a woman in the word it says this in different scriptures and for his teaching a man, but How do you justify the fact of you being a woman pastor? Because far as with scripture scripture. That's what it was. Yes, so in the scripture It says whosoever will let them come and So that scripture rings well just down in my soul whosoever will and then he gave some Apostles he get he didn't say that he gave all like me and were apostles or all women were he said he gave some to Apostles some pastors Teachers some teachers and so but what rings in my spirit is is that whosoever will hmm? So if if if that's if that's me that I'm coming I'm coming because God has done so much for me He saved a rich like me somebody that was undone somebody who was not worthy somebody who was running around doing all kind of crazy stuff And even after he saved me. I still wasn't right. Amen And then he came back in and you know the work just keeps going his grace is sufficient God has has he is the Best keeper. He is the best provider. I know him to be a provider I know him to be a protector. I know him to be a waymaker. I know him to be a healer I know I personally know this and so if he says get the baton and run with it I'm running with it if I got a run through hell high water if I got a run over your mama, my mama Whoever I got to do it gotta do what he said. I just gotta do what he says. Okay, and you said You said um during all of this time after you know grieving and all of that You went through criticism you went through some you know times. I'm sure all of it didn't Surround the fact that you are now a female pastor What else did you go through whereas that was concerned and how did you overcome it because there's so many people who go Through criticism and can't handle it. They're so Involved what other people think of them You know and take what other people say to heart and some people crawl up in a little ball and want to stay inside and cry and all of that How do you deal with? That situation that is a great question miss Jamaica. That's a great question The criticism part is extremely hard. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie about that that is extremely hard But one of the ways that I did it is to surround myself with mentors counselors and One of my counselors I love her shout out to prophetess Francis Cleveland if you're watching the prophetess, I love you But she would tell me because I would go to her complaining like they said this You know how we do they said this and she would listen and she'd be real quiet I said but what are you saying like what am I supposed to do? Like what what is it? I said I want to I want to retaliate. I want to do something I want to say something I need to speak up for myself and she would say I think you need to go down Go down Her saying was go down and eat the carpet means go back and prayer pray about it Until you see them no more until you see the face of until you see Where they don't bother you like the words and the criticism and what they say no longer It's no longer. It's no involved and that's not easy because just a digress to say okay Even though because some of the stuff they say it may be true. Oh, it may be true. It's criticism, but it could be true, right? And so And so you have to sit back and you just have to analyze and you have to say okay, God. What is it? Or why am I going through this and what is it that I need to get out of it instead of saying? Why why why and them them them? What are you trying to download in me? What in this that I need to get out of it? How can this make me better and not bitter? How can this put me on top and not the bottom? How how can I not lose my mind through this? So never gave me through this uncharted water to where it's not about me because it's always been about your kingdom And so I got to get my mind back on the kingdom. Why am I here? What is my purpose and and and then God leave me and direct me all of my steps through all of this a Negativity if you will because some of it is necessary. It's necessary for our growth If I didn't have the critics and I didn't have the criticism I wouldn't be as strong as I am today. Exactly I'm constructive criticism is good because you said that some of it could be true You know what I mean to be true and anything that's true to me I would think I'll call that constructive criticism, but not everybody know how to handle constructive criticism One of the word of God says them that live godly shall suffer persecution And then it also turns around and as one of the fruits of the spirit it gives you long suffering So there's things that you are supposed to be able to endure in order to grow There has to be some pruning. Yes, and I think a lot of times people don't look at that part They want to look at the joy. They want to look at the love They want to look at all of the different things that go outside of them going but Jesus walked to a cross We believe in Christ. So he walked he walked to a cross Go gotha and then you got to understand Yes, we should be able to look at his walk and his weight and understand that if he went through it If that happened to him, what do you think is gonna happen with us? You know, so he's given us the key to be able to pass through this life And but it didn't say we would have to go through some hardship a lot of times He was trying to kill him and it wasn't time yet and he would just Seamlessly go through the crowd or he wouldn't be where they thought he was or he was there And they couldn't even recognize him as we was stuff like that. So God has a way of us Looking and understanding our path, but we will endure some situation That's gonna be tough and I think that we're in the flesh So that when he was in the flesh, what did he have to endure? Why was he praying? Why was he praying to take this cup away from me? We got to go through some stuff and I think a lot of times if we say we believe in him Because a lot of people don't agree with the way we believe and that's cool too But the book that I read and believe in shows me how I supposed to take the medicine given and I'm cool with that You know what I'm saying? That's why I believe the way I do and as far as you being a woman in the ministry You know what I'm saying? I really like I said You got when you look at Philippians and you look at they was in some preach for contention Some preach for stripes on preach for this I'm preach for that But we thank God that the gospel is being preached He said he didn't when they was preaching and they seen some that was he'd say they casting our demons in your name And he was like, you know, don't try to stop him because they be forced. They can't easily be against us So that's the part where you know what I'm saying where I just don't get in the way of whatever guys doing with whoever That's you and God's business. That's personal. Yeah So I don't really I can't so who am I to set up and try to tell you what you all did not do when the Holy Spirit Supposed to be leading guiding you anyway, the anointing of God. He never said that anointing couldn't be in the woman I never read that The knowing can be it'll teach you all things too is what the words say So we just I mean, I'm definitely knowing my path is for me to teach Who am I definitely to try to talk about you? And and I am when you look at the way that I study and read and teach and do things I am totally not into the ways of whatever somebody's doing. So I never get caught up in that I just say keep on preaching God's word. You know what I mean? And don't even trip like what's the name of the church again down is downtown, right? It is downtown. It is kingdom worship and restoration church better known as k war shout out k war It is located at 1401 bottom John Boulevard Dallas, Texas We would love to have y'all come I come by there, but I you know, I you know It's hard to get me to pull up, but I'll pull up one day, right? We got a pull up cuz you keep coming on here just to try to show No, I'm definitely gonna pick a day we can go hang out with Chico bean and phase on love and ice tea We can definitely go hang out with Anita. Jawa one day is what what what times are you service? It's a Wednesday nights at 7 p.m. And Sunday mornings at 10 at 10 a.m. Okay. Yeah, I need to I need to go by that So it's Wednesday more like a Bible study or is that it's about the same study? Wednesday night is Bible study Sundays is enhanced worship experience Have you seen somebody have you seen somebody lose somebody that you was able to help because you had Going through such a loss yet. Yes Yes, several you see what I'm saying Yeah, you don't have to name them because we like to keep things included But yeah, just that is one of the things the guys kept speaking to me about when you was telling your story Because we go through things for a reason and the reason we go through it So we can help others to go through their situation and nobody's had to encounter what you've had them kind of like You've had to encounter it so quickly a lot of time So I think that opens up the avenue for you to help somebody else that's having losses in their life That's so true. I have the widow speaks. There you go. And so that's what we do. We talk to male And female mainly females because males don't stay widows very long That's just put it after y'all. Well, you know don't hate on us. You know, we just trying to make our way I told him that the other day, but he's like, no, no, no, it don't always happen that way Yeah, but at the end of the day, I definitely get it like I just think that that would be something that would You would be so valuable in the fact that if you losing your sister and your you know Your your husband like that and that's a big deal, you know So now you you know, you're able to help and talk to others, you know what I mean Yeah, but by helping others, how much does that help you? it has me it helps me tremendously because I know where they were or where they are and And I can feel their grief. It's not something it's not like I'm giving them a my opinion at all This is something that I live breathe walk through. It's my experience And so when they say they don't want to do something or they don't like something or they're upset They go through all of these phases, you know, of course with with the grief we go through all these phases And so that particular phase that they're in they could be losing their mind But I'll I'll definitely understand it because I know I was right, right? Wow a little bit off-subject How long do a woman have to be a widow for she can, you know Gary married. Yeah, I mean, you know, you you pop it on Facebook, you know I'm saying she pop it on Facebook. I see you pop it on Facebook. You know, I know some cats on Facebook You know, you don't want that smoke Like I'm just messing Do you even think about that because at the same time No, because some people going back to what people think again Because when you're thinking about something like that, especially being a position that you're in and when you think about, you know Moving on a lot of people like they don't think I'm this they don't think this way, you know Thinking about what other people think does that affect you? No certain choices I do not think about no at all. I was married to him over 20 years. I served him until death did us apart So if I want to move on, I'm gonna move on got it and I must be comfortably moving on Whatever that time is. Hmm. Well, y'all don't just be stalking. She on Facebook. I've seen on face You had a speech that you said the other day is this is something about women's this is this month is is it Domestic violence What put it on your heart to speak on that with so much passion here lately, what's what what's up? Because again, I see the numbers going I'm having a council families through domestic violence and As I said in in my in my speech earlier enough is enough enough is enough, but I'm a byproduct Okay, so my mom and my dad My mom Was 23 And her my dad got into an argument and she ended up in a coma She woke up from a coma and she was paralyzed on the left side. She went home from the hospital I'm doing the short version. She went home from the hospital and they had me And then the cycle started all over again So she was pregnant when she was in a coma. No, no She got pregnant. Oh, she got pregnant with me and then the cycle of abuse it started all over again Did it ever get better? She got a divorce and that's how I got that's how I got better But it's such it's so crazy how in relationships is always the woman always make excuses for the abuser Sometimes it's out of fear But sometimes they say it's out of love because I have friends who were in Abusive relationships and I could never understand why they couldn't leave Because it's especially when you have children especially girls and I'm and I would always say Would you like that to happen to your child your daughter? Would you want somebody to do that too because that's the example you're setting for your child But then they were still staying it for years and years and years and I'm like it's easier said and done because it's like a Coping mechanism. So and with the abusers the violators, they'll say they'll do it Then they'll come back and say I'll never do it again And then they'll make it up. They'll try to do flowers. They're trying to take you out to eat They're trying to smooth it over so it's like it's like you're saying well I have to forgive him because he loves me or he takes care of the bills So they just end up in that cycle of abuse year after year moment after moment And and they feel like they can't let go because he's made it seem like he's all they have Regardless if they got a parent or if they got siblings now my dad. I love my dad I love my dad. I love my dad From the age of 12 to 18. I did not like my dad. In fact, I didn't love my dad at that time I hated my dad because now I'm older. No, no, no, I'm older. I hear about it. My mom tells me Oh, so you never saw what I never saw it. Okay? I never saw him but my mom tells me and I'm like that's the joke of the day this to you Like cuz now my mom you know, I'm seeing my mom is handicapped kids are making fun of me And I'm like I'm always on fight mode like you don't talk about my mom This is who raised me And when she told me it was like at first I was shocked I was like, there's no way my dad could do anything like this and to come to find out he did So I didn't like him I was like, how can you do this and then how can you do this to my mom and you go get remarried? And you start a whole new family and then do that to his new family. Yeah, and then do it to his new family Did you ask him? Yes? I was like what but my dad never gave me a straight answer and so from 18 from 12 to 18 It was like a separation and then at 18. I just said, you know what? Let me forgive him There was no encounter. I can't say I was in church. I can't say there was a God encounter It was just something but I know what it was. It was the Holy Spirit There was inside of me telling me that you know you need to do this So I did it and I asked my dad for forgiveness and he was like forgive you for what because he didn't know I didn't like him. Okay, and and so we did and we had a short time So from 18 to 19 my husband was my husband. My dad was alive and 19 my dad died suddenly So I thank God that I had a year to just get us back together or for us to be back together and My dad died at night when I was 19 my daughter Omni Her father, which is my late husband. He died at 19. So I know I knew how to walk Omni through that Even though I didn't know how to walk myself or 9 year because 9 was 16 But I knew very well how Omni felt and so when my dad did that When I acknowledge it and then I saw it in other family members I knew that it was a generational curse that was on my family. I saw other men and The truth be told was that when I was younger I knew the gear I knew I was something different about me I didn't know what it was but even like five six-year-olds seven ten. I would be Playing in the grown-ups will come to me and have a whole conversation Mm-hmm. I'm like my mama told me that being grown up Right, okay the whooping like why are you telling me this but it would be like deep stuff It wouldn't be like hey, like we go eat hot dogs and be like hey, I'm cheating on my wife Hey, I'm like you got experiences even advised. I'm a nun. Yeah, like you know what I'm doing drugs I don't know or you know, I got this kind of one a listening air Yeah, but I didn't I didn't understand that God was giving me the ear to hear right He was preparing me for what I would be doing. I grew up and so but yeah, the domestic violence It's very very near and dear to my heart I Don't want anyone to be controlled or not have self-respect or low self-esteem Or or not know their value and so when I see women in those relationships They don't know who they are. Have you ever came across a Domestic violence case where the woman was the abuser there was one incident yes, I have and She was raised in a domestic violence Situation to where her mother was the was the victim and so she said I will never be that person So she flipped it and became the aggressor and became the aggressor. Yeah And so she had to be walked out of that but by the time the guy wanted to even deal with her he was gone And so it was something that she had to deal with because it was from Relationship to relationship that she was doing it and then like they say when you meet your match So she met someone that said I'm not gonna take it like everybody else take it So now you're gonna have to get some help We both gonna be in here doing that right and so And it takes time It takes time it takes self-awareness To know that you need help a lot of people don't think they need help a lot of the abusers don't think hey I'm good. I don't need help. I can control this. I can control this. Mm-hmm. And so there are classes for that There's help for that. There's therapy for that There is there are people that are around that they can that have been through that they've they've experienced that and they Can walk them through but it's not it's easier said than done because I'm you know, hey, I'm not gonna hit you anymore I'm not gonna do it anymore. It takes practice and reprogramming you your thought process, right, right? Well, then you'll go back to it and you'll gravitate to it because then you want to be the man or you want to be Head or the woman is making you feel a certain type of way Mm-hmm You don't know how to handle certain things because you were never taught how to handle certain things Because all you saw was when she reacts this way. This is how I need to react not right Let's talk it out. Let's this that whatever and then sometimes the female can also make you into that Because that's what she was used to she's used to being beat on she's used to being called these different words So sometimes the person that she was with she's with currently may not have been an abuser from the get-go But she turned him into one because that's what she feel that loves look like you see what I mean I've heard of cases like that. Mm-hmm. That's interesting to turn in someone to be an Because because oh my daddy abused me or that's what I saw my mom Told me that one time that he had had a girl that he had been dating and She ran and basically jumped in front of the dough and he Basically pushed out the way and they trying to get away from her and he gone leaving and that's when she turns around and goes So come on and let's let's get together now. Let's make love now. Really is what it was Wow, yeah, it can be twisted like that. Mm-hmm. So it ain't always just something that that It's something it's a train thought. It's a way that you've seen people do what they see Yeah, it's a little learn behavior and you hate that but That's why you gotta you got to get in there and just try to understand how to be a new creature How to change some things all of us need to be replenished. It ain't just a Abuse is just one thing. I told you about that food the other day. We was talking to everybody got their food Everybody have an addiction. I got they think something is that the devil is playing and towing around with you with it's true Some of it may come off domestic another may come off as where are you a gluttonous person? Another may come out where you got pride So it could be work you work too much you work too much to have no time for the family Yeah, it could be you watch TV too much It could be so many anything you dedicate your life to too much You have some people say you you love I don't write some people say you you dedicate your life to God too much And you you have no time for nobody else But you're supposed to have balance with your family and everybody else Well, and and when you said I know it made me think about what I was teaching in day because they was eating that food sacrificing it to Definitely man. I'm gonna get you out of here man. We've kept you all day today We got to eat with you. We hung out with you. I knew to get you over here It's like old bed eat them had that Arkham in the house with you got to keep something around you Sometime to get you closer to God and that's what we done over here today on boss talk 101 We brought in pasture Anita jaw why who's about to take us out of here with a prayer Yes, sir. Yeah, it's time to fuss to bless the cameras. See y'all playing y'all don't understand why boss talk keep being Right here for years because we continue to say we love God put God first and bring in great great guests Like Anita jaw why who basically shows us love and comes every time we call we thank you so much You are welcome. You're welcome. I am so honored And blessed to be here again. I thank y'all for your friendship. I gotta say this before we close The other day when I got a call from my brother E Just a call to check on me and we usually go back and forth when I tell you he knows the word of God y'all He really knows the word of God and so we play around but he'll get in their word But on that particular day, I needed that I needed that I needed that call. I Needed that laughter and so when I got off the phone You didn't know this at the end. I prayed but after I prayed with us But then after I got the phone with you, I prayed again Wow, and I thank God because just to lay you on somebody else's heart of mine That's huge for me because we have so many other things to do y'all are busy busy busy But just to think that you carved out that hour just to chit chat check on Talk about the word go in the word and and that was just such a a Heavily encounter that I just like God that just absolutely blow my mind It wasn't it wasn't anything about money. It wasn't anything about a gift just giving a person Your attention and your time that meant so much to me. Thank you. You prayed for me. I told you that prayer Man, I was so on my I knew you had prayed for my daughter. I talked to my daughter that day I told her we had prayed for and it's like it gave me reassurance for my son Malachi And just our conversation Man, I love you so much stop playing but at any rate it just it was just It was just something else to prayer man. Like I said and just the conversation You know, I mean like I ain't nothing like having people who you can talk to about different things Genuine very genuine very genuine man. Thank you so much for coming on the show again. Man, like I said, man We're gonna keep continuing the Lord say the same, you know, bring you through Whenever you will come and and sit down so people can hear because I try to put this out like you know Sunday morning There's that's what I'll be trying to do but then a lot of time people, you know Suddenly being imparted all night Saturday So I gotta I gotta clip this out on the boys, man Closing the prayer we bought this closing prayer just cuz I'm having a good time smiling on me We're gonna put that prayer in it. You know, let's go Father we thank you on today. God. Thank you for bounce talk 101. Thank you for E and Stephanie Lord I just thank you for this moment this opportunity God Thank you for this day of grace of mercy Lord Lord We just ask God that you bless the listeners God everyone that's tuned in to The podcast God that you just open up their ears of understanding God Lord We just ask God that you go before them God protect them lead them God them direct them father God Lord and camp all around about them Lord Strengthen us as we walk God strengthen us on our journey God Everyone has a journey everyone has another door everyone has another level father God be with us through it all father God Lord We just thank you right now God Lord. We just Bless the children Lord everyone that's watching father bless the ministries I work God all the friendships the relationships the network Everyone that they've partnered with everyone that's on their network Lord Lord all of the people that are tuning in Lord Allow this to be a day God of transformation Allow this to be a day of salvation father God allow them to come to themselves like the prodigal son and say and just having an Ah-ha moment father God Lord. We just thank you father God for the prodigal sons that are coming home Thank you for the way we're daughters Lord I speak to the men and the women God that are out there and nobody else sees nobody else cares God Lord But you care father God Lord touch their heart their mind or body their soul God Lord Enlightening them God quickening them God bring them out of the dark spaces in the places Oh God and bring them into your marvelous light Lord have your way today father and Lord We give your honor. We give your praise. We give your glory Lord Anoint this mic on north this building on north this area father God Lord We take claim of this area this region father God that it is for you father God Lord if you before us you are more than the world against us Lord and we speak it into oh God in Two existence father God we speak those things as though they're not as though they're already are and we take claim God to this area in this whole This whole podcast God this whole region father God Lord this whole Movement father that these two individuals are blessed indeed Lord increase God There is no lack concerning them Lord There will be nothing missing and nothing broken over their lives father Lord I thank you right now God that their lives will continue to touch not only hundreds not only thousands But millions father God Lord I thank you right now that you have given them this platform father and that you are taking them up to the nut to another Dimension in you father that there will be more reaches God There will be more more growth God Lord there will be longevity God with long life Will you satisfy us father God Lord? We speak longevity over this podcast God Lord. We thank you right now in the mighty name of Jesus in Jesus name. We pray tonight. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. It's been another great segment of boss talk 101 what a boss is talking and we out